Author's Note:
Well, guess what...This story line has finally caught up with "Not Meant to Be." So for all those who have been writing me about Kyle and JC you will be happy to know that all will be revealed soon. So hang on tight.
Shout outs:
Kevin...my partner in crime...you'll never know the impact you have made in my life. If you haven't read Kev's stories ("2 out of 5" and "J and JC") get your butts in gear and get reading.
Rick...Buddy...Congrats on all...I am still amazed that you picked up HTML in one night...wow. And you are one good writer ("The One").
Scott...Oh and you thought you were out of the story...think again. I am liking the start to your story...keep up the good work...("The Warmest Eyes")
And yes Billy...I do read your stories and enjoy them too. Thanks for including mine in your list of favs...it's appreciated. (too many to list...besides, you all know Billy Burrew's stories)
Ok I promised myself no more long intros...so I will catch the rest of you guys in the next chapter, So a "What's Up!" to everyone else... you all know who you are.
Oh wait...I have to say this...Tonny...That last chapter of yours...that was too good. ("When You Say Nothing At All") I bow to the master. And to all you pervs out there, don't take that the wrong way...no propositions please.
If you have any comments or suggestions, I would love to hear them, so write damn it.
Send them to me at K_Magic@Prodigy.Net
Disclaimer... This is a fictional story between a fictional character and Members of NSYNC. This in no way implies anything about the sexuality or any thing else of the members of NSYNC. This is all fiction.
--------------- Chapter Ten ---------------
"Ahhhhh" I said easing my way into the hot springs. Alone, silence, no stress, I closed my eyes and leaned back. Oh how good it feels to just relax, letting the hot water and minerals of the hot springs totally wash everything out of mind.
Off in the distance, I hear Lance yelling my name. I won't open my eyes, I won't...it feels too good.
"Jay....Jay...Jay..."
"Go away Lance." I yell back.
"Jay...come on....let's get going."
"Get the hell away from me Lance."
"JAY." Lance screams.
The peace disappears, the hot springs disappears, everything comes rushing back into my mind.
"Huh....What..."
"Jay...come on...its time to get up..."
"Go away Lance...it's too early for this shit."
I roll back over and pull the covers over my head.
"Jay...damn..."
Ring....Ring....
"Hello"
"Lance...hey this is Kenny, can you please come down here and wake your boyfriend up. I've been trying for the past five minutes and all I get is get the hell away from me Lance...."
"Ok, I'll be right down.
"Jay....baby...wake up...we gotta get going...Jay"
"Go away Lance, I just went to sleep...it can't be time to go yet...give me a few more hours."
The next thing I know, the bed covers are off of me and Lance is laying on top of me and his lips are kissing mine.
"I really hate you, what time is it?"
"It's 5:30. Come on get up or we are going to be late."
"Lance...5:30 am is not a time to wake up...it's a time to go to bed."
"Is he up yet?" Kenny said entering the room from the bathroom.
"Oh shit, I'm sorry Kenny." I said remembering finally where I was.
"Ok sleeping beauty, let's get your stuff and head back to the room."
I got up and grabbed my bags and headed back to our room. I jumped in the shower and after standing there under the water for a few minutes, I was finally waking up. I got out and got dressed. When I came out of the bathroom, our luggage was already gone and Lance was sitting on the bed.
"Ready?"
"Yeah, I guess. Man the life of a pop star really does suck. I don't think I could do it. I value my sleep too much...and if you say I sound like Josh, I'm going to kick you in the ass."
He just smiled at me and walked over and gave me a kiss.
"Let's go."
We left the room and the guys were all in the hallway. Joey, Chris and Justin standing together and Josh off to the side. He was sitting on the floor with one hand shielding his eyes away from the world. Kenny came up and took all the keys from us and ushered us into the elevator. Again the guys respected Josh's privacy and were silent on the elevator ride down and into the limo. I sat next to Josh and as soon as the limo started to move, I put my hand on his knee and squeezed. He looked up at me with his blood shot eyes and turned his head into my chest and started crying. I gathered him into my arms and rocked him, looking at the guys who sat there in shock.
Justin was about to say something, but I shook him off. He folded his arms across his chest, rolled his eyes and pouted. When we arrived at the airport, Josh had stopped crying but was still hidding his face in my arms. As the limo pulled up to the loading zone, I asked them if they could leave us alone for a while. They all got out of the limo and closed the door.
"Josh, were at the airport...let's get you presentable ok."
He sat up and ran his hand thru his hair. His eye's were red and puffy, but we couldn't do anything about that.
"Sorry about your shirt."
"Don't worry about it, you know what a slob I am...always spilling on myself and all."
"Thanks Jay."
"Don't mentation it Jo....."
Before I could finish, he had leaned over and was kissing me on the lips. I was frozen. He pulled away.
"I'm sorry...I...I just..."
"Josh, it's ok...Just don't let it happen again...Ok."
He nodded.
"Ok...let's get going Sexy." I said as I opened the door. Josh threw on a pair of sunglasses and we got out and joined the guys. Luckily the airport was pretty empty at that time of the morning. We checked in and boarded the plane. I was deep in thought and didn't notice Lance taking my hand, nor the lift off.
"Jay...what's wrong, you didn't squeeze the crap out of my hand."
"I just have things on my mind."
"Josh?"
"Among other things."
"Wanna talk about it."
"How about we wait until we get to New York, tonight after dinner. Right after you explain to me why I had to spend the night with Kenny last night."
"Ok...after dinner. I think maybe you should go sit next to Josh and see if you can help him. You two seem to be close now and it looks like he can only talk to you about all of this."
I smiled at him.
"Thanks for understanding Lance, I love you." I said looking around and giving him a quick kiss while no one was looking.
"I love you too."
I got up and went over to where Josh was sitting.
"Is this seat taken?"
Josh was sitting there looking out the window thru his sunglasses. A tear was rolling down his cheek. He just shook his head and I sat down.
"Wanna talk?"
"About?"
"I don't know....maybe what you're getting me for Christmas, cause I really could use a happier best friend."
"Jay, I didn't mean for all this to happen...I'm so sorry that this happened and Kyle isn't happy....I'm such an idiot..."
"Josh, I wasn't talking about Kyle, I was talking about you."
"You said best friend."
"Josh...I see Kyle maybe 2 or 3 times a year. Sure we've known each other almost all our lives and I love him like a brother, but it's just that me and you...we just click...if you know what I mean. I consider you to be a good friend...a best friend. And I do want you to be happy."
"Jay, I don't know what to say...I'm honored and I consider you to be my best friend too...But the happy part, it's not going to happen any time soon. I'm just not feeling it in my life right now and I don't know when it will be back."
"Just take your time and it will find you. Good thing are instore for us this coming year."
"What do you mean."
"We were both born in 1976...the Chinese year of the Dragon, plus it is the new millennium...it's our year man."
"That's what Kyle told me too."
"I'm sorry for bringing it up..."
"Don't worry...I'm ok...it's just that you know...I asked him to come back last night so we could talk."
"And..." I said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a letter and handed it to me.
It read:
Josh,
Please forgive me for the way I am handling this. I am a coward and I can't face you. If I had to look into your eyes I would not be able to do this.
I want to appologize for everything I did today and everything I put you through, it was unfair of me to play with your emotions the way I did... I am truly sorry.
I can't put into words anything I am feeling right now. I was out with Jen tonight and heard a song that can describe it better than I could ever. Please listen to the enclosed CD track 12.
Know that I love you for what you did for me today and you will always be in my heart. If things were different...if times were different...if I was different maybe...I'm just sorry. Please forget me and find someone you can truly be happy with. I am not the one that you are meant to be with. Keep looking, you will find that person.
With all my heart Ky
I folded it back up and looked at Josh. He was looking out the window again.
"I'm sorry Josh."
"It's ok, Jay...I'll live."
"Do you mind me asking what song it was."
"It was 98 degrees...The Hardest Thing."
I sat there running thru the song in my mind. That was so good, what a touch. Kyle always did have a flare for the dramatic.
"Jay, I'm kinda tired, mind if I cut this convo short to take a nap."
"Sure Josh, but if you need to talk...you know I'm here for you."
"Thanks Jay."
"Hey, that's what best friends are for."
I squeezed his shoulder and winked at him as I got out of my seat.
"Jay...sorry about...you know... the limo and all." Josh said looking down at his hands.
"Josh, don't worry...you know damn well that if Lance wasn't around, I'd be all over you...Besides, you're a great kisser...but just keep those sexy lips away from mine ok. I don't need a blond fire ball angry at both of us, if you know what I mean."
Josh nodded his head and we smiled at each other as I turned and walked back to my seat. Lance was sitting there with my discman and earphones on, leaning back with his eyes closed.
I sat down. Lance opened his eyes and took the earphones off.
"Everything Ok."
"Yeah, he'll survive....miss me."
"You know it."
"Whatcha listening too?"
"Madonna...Bedtime Stories"
"Hey, what did you do with my Savage Garden CD."
"Come on Jay, that is totally old...you know they have a new album out now...right."
"Just give me my case."
He handed me my CD case and I took out my CD and took out Madonna and put it in and held up the earphones.
"Here, put these on. This is why I listen to this CD...This song makes me think of you and when you are away, it makes me feel close to you."
He put the earphones on and I pressed play and went to track 3. We sat there staring into each other's eyes as the song played in Lance's ears. His eyes started to tear up as the song ended. He pulled the earphones off, lifted his hand and put it on the back of my head and pull me into a kiss.
"I love you Lance."
"I love you more....with every breath...truly...madly...deeply...I do."
The moment was broken by Joey's voice coming from behind us.
"Break it up you two....fuck where on a plane...with people you know."
"Yeah, plus that was so sappy...it's making us ill." Chris added.
We arrived in Pheonix, Arizona for our 2 hour layover about 9:30am and headed off for New York about 11:45am. I was truly exhausted and spent the whole rest of the flight sleeping. We got to New York about 6:45pm local time, and went thru the normal "Nsync New York Routine". From the plane, we got into a limo and went straight to our hotel. The limo ride was a quiet once again. I just can't wait until everything gets back to normal and the guys are able to be themselves again.
The guys had to be at Rockerfeller Square in less than an hour for the tree lighting ceremony. So, everything was rushed. They all showered and changed.
"Jay, aren't you coming with us?" Joey ask, as he, Chris and Justin walked into our room.
"Hell no!...it's fuckin freezing out there. I didn't bring any eskimo clothes. I went from Florida to California, so I really forgot to pack my New York clothes. I'll have to borrow some clothes from you guys for tomorrow when I head out to the shoot downtown."
"Hey if you want, I have an extra jacket you can borrow for tonight."
"No thanks Chris, I'm just going to kick it here in the nice warm hotel room and watch you guys strut your stuff on TV."
"Ok, see you in a few." Lance said as he kissed me and gave me a hug.
"I'll be waiting."
As the guys walked out, Justin stayed and closed the door telling them he would be right out and for them to go get Josh.
"Jay, I just wanted to apologize if it seemed that I was being an asshole towards you."
"Justin, don't worry...we're cool."
"No...it's just that me and Josh, well we've known each other a while and we have always been able to talk to each other. Actually Joey has known him longer, but they don't talk as openly as me and Josh. I guess I got a little pissed cause he was talking to you and not to me about all this. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for being a jerk to you."
"Hey, I understand completely and like I said, don't worry about it. I just think he thought it might embarrass you if he started talking about feelings he had for another man."
"Yeah, I guess I would feel a little awkard, but he's one of my best friends and I would put my feelings aside just to be there for him."
"I think that's what he was doing for you. But you know, you might want to tell him all this instead of me."
"Thanks for understanding Jay....Lance is a real lucky guy for finding such a great person as you."
Justin walked over and gave me a hug and turned and walked out of the room. I watched this young guy walk out of the room, having a little more respect for him...But damn, I wish he would do something with that hair of his.
I grabbed my laptop and hooked it up and logged on to check my e-mail. I had two. The first one I had no clue who it was from.
From: JRTisHot@aol.com Date: November 30, 1999 4:55 pm To: JKMarint@yahoo.com Subject: U R So Fine
Jay,
I just wanted to tell you that you are a HOTTIE!!! Me and and my friend are sitting here admiring a picture of you.
I just wish it was a real one. But this one doesn't have your tattoo, so I was told it was fake. But girls can dream can't we.
Love
an Admirer and her Friend
I sat there trying to figure out this one. The only people that know about my tattoo is Lance, Kyle, Scott and Thomas. Who could this be. Oh well, I thought as I went on to the next on. It was from Scott.
From: Ganymede21@yahoo.com Date: December 1, 1999 8:04 am To: JKMartin@yahoo.com Subject: Hey
Jay,
Hey guy...what's up? Hope all is cool in the boyband world. Sorry for the shit I pulled at the airport, I just couldn't handle seeing Josh right then.
So, I'm all settled. Rehearsals are going great and I'm seeing a guy that is also in the play. Very cute and damn good in bed.
If you're ever in the neighborhood, give me a ring, (212) 447-8489
1242-E North 68th Street NYC, NY 10025
Take care buddy.
Scott
I grabbed my cell phone and called him up.
"Hello"
"Hey Scott...what's up"
"Hey Jay, it's great to hear from you...Where are you right now."
"In New York, I was wondering if you ate yet."
"Nope, just got back from rehearsal. I was going to grab something."
"Cool, why don't you head over here and grab something on the way and we can visit."
"Is it ok for me to show my face."
"Yeah, they are at Rockerfeller square performing, come on over."
I told him the hotel name and room number and said goodbye and hung up. I then started to write Kyle an e-mail. I wanted to drill him for info, but I didn't want it to sound like I was drilling him. Also, I had to make it seem like I knew nothing, that I was just a road manger's boyfriend.
From: JKMartin@Yahoo.Com Date: December 1, 1999 7:15 pm To: K_Magic@Prodigy.Net Subject: Hello from NY
Ky,
Well, we just arrived at the hotel in New York it's about 7pm New York time.
The plane ride was not fun. I have a shoot in NY in the morning so I flew with the NSYNC guys. Kenny flew on another flight with the gear and crew. I know what you and I talked about yesterday, but to see JC today...what happened. He cried almost the whole flight. Lance was with him the whole time comforting him, but it did no good. He wouldn't talk to anyone. When he finally took a nap, Lance came and talked to me, but didn't really say anything. I could tell he wasn't telling me the whole story. He looked really worried.
I will understand if you don't want to talk about it, but if you need to write me back or if it important, you know my cell number.
Well, write when you can and give my love to the family.
Love
J
I hit the send button, hoping to get a reply back from him. Maybe get a little insite on what was going on in his mind. But knowing Kyle, he would read it, and push it aside and deal with it once he had time to think about what he was going to say. It would be a well thought out reply and not would not give any info away.
I logged off and waited for Scott, who arrived about 20 minutes later. He had a pizza with him and I hugged him as he entered the room. We had a nice visit. He told me about his show and the guy he was seeing, Shawn. He seemed happy. We stayed away from the Josh subject. At about 10:30 he said he had to get going and we hugged and said our goodbyes.
I shut the door and headed for the shower. The guys would be back soon and I wanted to be ready for anything they wanted to do. I was in the shower maybe two minutes before I heard the bathroom door open.
"Lance?"
There was a moment of silence, then the shower door opened. I turned around and there was Lance, undressed and entering the shower and closing the door. He pulled me into a hug and kissed me.
"Miss me."
"Always."
"So Scott was here huh." He said as he started to wash my neck and back.
"Ran into him huh...yeah, we had dinner and talked. Josh see him."
"Yeah, Scott actually saw us and came over and asked if he could talk to Josh. Josh went with him into the hotel bar to talk. We wanted to go with them, but Josh waved us off saying he would be ok."
Lance had finished washing me, so I turned around and started on him. I soaped his whole body up with a towel and then ditched the towel and did a once over with just my hands. His skin was so soft. I wrapped my arms around his chest and pulled him under the spray of water and started kissing his neck. He leaned back against me as my hands were caressing his chest and stomach. I grabbed the shampoo and poured some in my hand and started on his hair. He turned around and got the bottle of shampoo and did the same to me. We started kissing again as we both washed each other's hair. We broke the kiss long enough to wash the shampoo out of our hair and then started kissing again. Both of us were starting to get aroused as Lance turned the water off and we stood there in the shower kissing.
I broke the kiss and looked him staight in the eye.
"So what did you and Kyle do in the room last night?"
He got this blank look on his face and his mouth was a little open. I turned around and opened the shower door and got out, grabbing a towel and started to dry myself off.
"How did you know?"
"Lance...I know everything, so start talking."
I had my back to him, so he couldn't see the big smile on my face as he got out of the shower. I grabbed a robe and wiped the smile off my face as I put it on and turned around. I took a towel and started to dry him off.
"So start talking Blondie."
"Come off it Jay, you know nothing happened. When I went downstairs to set things up for our departure, I saw Kyle running out of the hotel and he didn't look so good. I followed him out of the hotel and he was just sitting in his car, not moving. By the time I got to his car, the groupees outside the hotel had figured out who I was and started to run after me. I got him to open his car and I jumped in and told him to take off. We left the hotel parking lot and we started talking."
I had finished drying him and held up a robe and he stepped into it and we left the bathroom. The room was dark and the curtains were open. Lance had moved the table infront of the window and on it was a lit candle, a bucket with a bottle of champagne, and a single red rose. I turned to him and he was just looking at me with that smile I found so sexy. He pulled me to the table and poured us each a glass of champagne. He handed me the glass and held up his.
"To you and I, Mr Martin."
"To us...Mr Bass."
He smiled at me and I smiled back.
"So, how did you two end up back in our room?"
"Damn Jay...you sure do know how to spoil a mood."
I took another sip of the champagne and smiled at him.
"Ok...well I really didn't know what happened between him and Josh except for the kiss, but reading between the lines I pretty much knew what happened ...Not that I got any info from my boyfriend. During our conversation, I kinda went off on him. I didn't mean to, and I appologized. But he was kinda out of it, so I told him that he wasn't driving back that late and brought him back to the hotel. He doesn't know about us, so I paged you with the 600 code...luckily you remembered. When I woke up he was gone. He did leave a thank you note.
"You are such a stud...I'm impressed."
I poured us another glass of champagne and pulled him over to the couch. I laid down on my side and pulled him in front of me so his back was facing me and I wrapped my arms around him as we drank our champagne.
"So now it's your turn, tell me why this has gotten to Josh so bad."
"Let see...where to begin...Actually it goes back to Scott...Scott is the kind of guy that likes his relationships to go fast. Josh on the other hand, being as Scott was basically his first guy...wanted to take his time, to go slow and make sure he was ready before taking the big step. Scott didn't want that in a relationship so he dumped Josh. That broke Josh's heart. Then he sees Kyle and falls for him. They meet, have their bathroom kiss and Kyle runs. We talked and then Josh comes up to the room. One thing leads to another and they are having sex. Now, Kyle is the kind of guy that isn't into the spontaneous and likes to know where his life is at all times. He has lived his life knowing that he is straight and he has his girl friend and has his future all planned out. Him and Josh get together and all of a sudden his life is in chaos and he runs away. In Josh's mind, he had a relationship where he was taking it slow and the guy bolts, then he meets a guy and not wanting to make the same mistake twice, has sex with him the day they meet and that guy bolts. Now Josh is stuck not knowing how to approach any relationship. He doesn't trust his heart anymore. Does that make sense."
Lance nodded his head and we sat in silence for a minute.
"God, love really sucks sometimes."
"Yeah it does, unless it envolves a sexy blond with spikey hair, beautiful green eyes and a knock dead killer smile."
I kissed the back of his neck and as I did, I could see that his ears had turned a dark red.
"Are you blushing."
"A little.....oh I almost forgot...come on...."
He get up out of my arms and pulls me to my feet. He went over to the stereo and pressed a button.
"Can I have this dance, Mr Martin." He said as he bowed to me.
"You can have it any day you want."
I pulled him close to me and put my arms on his shoulders. He put his arms around my waist as the music started. Upon hearing what he chose, I lean over and kiss him as we started to rock back and forth.
I'll be your dream I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy I'll be your hope I'll be your love Be everthing that you need I'll love you more with every breath Truly, madly, deeply do I will be strong I will be faithful Cause I'm counting on A new beginning A reason for living A deeper meaning I want to stand with you on a mountain I want to bathe with you in the sea I want to lay like this forever Until the sky falls down on me And when the stars are shinning Brightly in the velvet sky I'll make a wish to send it to heaven then make you want to cry The tears of joy for all the pleasure in the certainty That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of The highest powers In lonely hours The tears devour you I want to stand with you on a mountain I want to bathe with you in the sea I want to lay like this forever Until the sky falls down on me Oh can you see it baby? You don't have to close your eyes Cause it's standing right here before you All that you need will surely come I'll be your dream I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy I'll be your hope I'll be your love Be everything that you need I'll love you more with every breath Truly, madly, deeply do I want to stand with you on a mountain I want to bathe with you in the sea I want to lay like this forever Until the sky falls down on me
As the song ended and started over again, we were still dancing...slowly swaying together. We danced while the song played over and over again, until my thoughts drifted to the fact that after tomorrow, I wouldn't see Lance until Christmas.
"What's wrong Jay?"
"Nothing, just thinking of how much I'll be listening to this song in the next month."
"Come on Jay, that time isn't until tomorrow...Let's not think about it unitl then. Tonight is ours."
We danced a while longer.
"Let's go to bed Jay, you have to get up early tomorrow."
He pulled me to the bed and we took our robes off and climbed in. We snuggled up against each other. He wraped his arms around me and I placed my head on his shoulder and placed my hand on his chest.
"I love you, Mr Bass."
"I love you too, Mr Martin."
Sleep over came me. The next thing I knew I heard music....Madonna playing... Forbidden Love....I slowly came out of sleep and opened one of my eyes. First I looked at the clock. It read 5:30am. Then I noticed the room had a soft light glow in it. I lookd up and saw Lance sitting at my laptop.
"Lance....(yawn)....what are you doing....come back to bed."
"In a minute...go back to sleep...I'm just checking my e-mail and mailing a friend a song."
I rolled back over and closed my eyes again and in a few minute, Lance crawled back in and pulled me into his arms. At 6:45am the alarm clock went off. I shut it off and climbed out of bed and headed off to the bathroom. After I took my shower and got ready for my shoot. I had a few minutes so I logged on to check my e-mail. I had no mail, so I was just about to write Kyle an e-mail when I got an incoming mail. It was from Kyle and as soon as I saw the subject, my heart dropped and I opened it.
From: K_Magic@Prodigy.Net Date: December 2, 1999 7:30am To: JKMarin@Yahoo.com
Subject: Asshole
Does He sing "BASS" when you two are FUCKING??????
"Fuck Me" I yelled as I jumped over Lance laying in bed and grabbed the phone and started dialing. Lance jumped up in bed.
"What....huh....what's wrong Jay?"
The phone rang once and I heard Kyle on the other end.
"Fuckin' spill it Jay."
I sat there looking at Lance, white as a ghost as the words hit me. I covered the receiver with my hand.
"He knows." I whispered to Lance as his mouth fell open and we stared at each other as Kyle's voice broke the silence of the room.
"I'M WAITING ASSHOLE......"
******** Note: The songs "Truly, Madly, Deeply" by Savage Garden and "Forbidden Love" by Madonna can be heard on my webpage in the Tunes section. http://www.geocities.com/k_magic_2000