Not a Trip at All

Not a trip at all - part 2

Disclaimers (ifs attacking!) -----------------

W A R N I N G !!!!!! The part 2 contains almost NO sex at all (if any description of a naked boy can be called "sex"). If you've joined here to read things that turn your senses around - you are firmly asked to leave. However, no sex does not mean the story is flat and hairless as the womb of a twelve years old boy :))))))))) If you're under 18, you're allowed to read it, (that's new, isn't it?) but remember that the background for all situations described below is of the nature you can refuse to understand. Mail me if you don't :))) If you think that a boy-to-boy relations are nothing but a football play and homeworks made together, I wish your point of view got revised. Some letters to describe? Why not? b/b/t/chubby-chaser/nosex The affair described seems of an international nature. All Polish and German dialogues have been translated into English. German only when necessary. This seems to have happened, at least partially, but not in Berlin... -------------------

Part 2 The great tour

Dramatis personae: (a short personal guide to the whole series)

Marcin "Martin, Uszatek" Semmler - PL - m(ale)- a 15 y.o. boy sent (or sentenced) to a couple of days to Berlin Romuald Semmler - PL - m - 42 y.o. - Martin's father, unemployed Maria "Misia" Izdebska - PL - f - 15 y.o. -the president of the class council, The Class Captain Kai Schneider - D - m - a cancer suffering 15 y.o. boy, rough but with the big heart, "echt Berliner", heavy weight Anja Schneider - D - f - 35 y.o. -Kai's mother, a simultaneous translator, rather traditional and superstitious Stanislaw "Stan" Kostrzewa - PL - m - 15 y.o. - the son of the owner of a big holding, rather not a nice creature Pawel "Onkel Doc" Jezierski - D - m - 57 y.o., a doctor, the chief of the oncology ward for kids, an old bachelor Jarri "Voivattu" Kurvinen - SF - m - 18 y.o. - a secondary school student, spending one year in Germany Orvokki Ruhanen - SF - f - 52 y.o. -Jarri's Mother, working for a German company Wojciech "Wassolldas" Prange - 29 y.o. - PL / D - a journalist Helga "Schwesterchen" Gruber - D - 42 y.o. - the nurse Ottfried Fischer - D - ? y.o. - a not too thin :))) German comedy actor, "echt Bayer", open weight category Schlamassel - D - m - age unknown - a black cat Sonnabend (for Martin) or Samstag (for Kai) - D - f - two weeks - an even more black cat ----------------------------------------

(A hint: Within The Realm Of A Dying Sun - Dead Can Dance; if you do not like - The Wall (Pink Floyd) or something from Genesis)

Martin felt the big palm touching his face. No, that was not the next cow to milk, he knew he should retreat to reality. All events of the past two days whirled around till he settled he really lied in Kai's bed in Mehringdamm, almost 180 kilometres from home. The palm belonged to Mrs. Schneider.

• Wake up, you sleepy dog, it's nearly eight.

Like a film, Martin recollected all the things he did yesterday. The journey, Kai, Herr Jezierski, finally he covered with his mind all the way that had led to Kai's bed.

Although he was a bit aroused, he did not think about it. The bald head of Kai, his eyes, the torn conversations that had ended with strong efforts of reconsiliating combined with the unique smell of sheets: smell of washing powder, medicines, the young body. That was close to the reminiscences of Proust's biscuits, making thoughts run like Olympic sprint.

He glanced at the picture of Kai, standing almost on the edge of the shelf. It was taken at least one year ago, there were no traces of suffer on boy's face. Martin hat to agree that the serious illness made Kai even more attractive, taking away that exaggerated amount of self consciousness radiating from his face.

• Do you like peanut butter? It's Kai's favourite - said Frau Schneider as he suddenly appeared by the door. Martin had hardly heard about it, the cuisine at home was almost rural, as usually in the two male's dwelling. Dinners at the school canteen were conventional if even not tasteless.

• I shall try it, never eaten before. He noticed that Kai's mother tried to sound nice, hardly succeeding it, all words were infected with the overwhelming gloom.

"One moment and she'll burst into tears. Why on hell, when things are going to be better?" thought Martin, entering the bathroom.

They ate silent breakfast, and, to Martin's surprise, he was not attacked with the difficult questions he expected and he was very afraid of. He would ask some questions himself, but it was better not to break the comfortable silence.

• Take the money for any unexpected expenses - Frau Schneider handed martin two one hundred mark bills - buy some orange juice for Kai, he loves it and take a taxi, you can get easily lost in the underground.

Martin was close not to accept the money, he had his own, but took them without any word. He will put them later on the cupboard in the kitchen. He would use taxi either, Berliner U-bahn and city train net interested him much and was quite cheap, when you bought a ticket for one week.

• I'll take you back, so wait for me in the hospital.

He said goodbye, left the flat and went directly to the underground station "Mehringdamm".

Anja Schneider closed the door looking at the boy which run down taking two steps a time. That reminded her immediately her own son when he still was not ill. She should have asked Martin something and start to talk with him. Not only not to be rude towards him. The main reason she absorbed that fresh blow of youth. Something that was absent there since Kai was taken to the hospital. She did not protest when this funny Polish boy slept in Kai's bed, used his pyjamas and other things. In fact she knew only, that boys liked each other from the very start. And that was the good reason.

Kai had almost no friends and that was obvious since the boy went to kindergarten. She felt in her bones that it will not be easy, the boy suffered the heavy overweight and that is not well tolerated among other children. His father was not so fat, something must have happened in the genes, so said her the doctor. Nothing of any somatic illness, the boy was wealthy. "Kerngesund" - the doctor repeated it twice and that sounded flabbergasting. As it happened today, she remembers one day, when the boy came with tears in his eyes.

• I shall not go there any more!

It lasted almost till midnight to learn what had really happened. He was verbally abused for being fat. Another week was wasted to convince Kai to go to the kindergarten, without any success however. That was a hall to hell, the real tragedy began in the school. Not once he came back black and blue, he missed many hours of PE just not to show bruises.

Although the children in his class gradually got used to him, Kai had no close friends, perhaps because the psychical damage was too big to let him open; he suspected anybody of mean things.

As a matter of fact she did not know, how to help him. To calm herself down she went on explaining that it would pass and the puberty changes him for better: the bones will grow, the body will use fat and he would look much better.

Indeed the beginnings of puberty were exactly she'd imagined, although they had almost no time for joy. One day she come home quite late and Kai was not there. "Perhaps he's sitting in the library" - she thought. Later that evening she got a phone call. The man with the voice she did not know informed that the boy was already OK and she should immediately come to the hospital. "Broke his leg? Is he hurt? A car accident?" - the doctor did not want to inform her. "I'll tell you when you come".

That short journey was perhaps the worst in her life. The news that Kai had lost his consciousness in the U-bahn and that it can be an effect of a tumour of any kind seemed not to reach her...

"I smoke too much" - she thought lifting another cigarette. Well, she did not want this child. She decided to have him because abortion was something she was against from the very beginning. She feared about her carrier, although the kid turned out to disturb much, when one does not take into account one year she spent at home, cooking and changing napkins. In fact she did not care much about Kai, he could be left quite alone at home soon at four and she was sure he would make no harm. The German proverb "Small children - small problems, big children - big problems" seem not to work. Till that day.

She should leave for her work, but she could not move, she could not get rid of thoughts running through her head. The doctor said Kai and that funny Polish boy liked each other very much. how should she understand that? That sounded a little pervert, the doctor said in a very ambiguous way. Perhaps they've fallen in love? She shivered. That would not be normal, but... What would it be like, if Kai fell in love with a boy? With his altitude towards people in general, one should be nothing but glad... She wondered how two people of the same sex can make love. "No, that's not possible, Kai will never let him touch". She tried to imagine those two boys kissing each other and felt rather funny. But if that funny Polish boy were to be Kai's first and the last chance? "OK Let us see what happens next" - she thought.

Martin could not explain why he got so nervous when entering the room he had spend almost all the day yesterday. He felt his heart pound enormously, the lips got dry, his throat was not able to utter any single sound.

The Stan's bed was still empty. As he went on toward Kai's bed, that way seemed to lead to the scaffold. He looked at the bald head of Kai, the boy was numb.

• What... what happened?

• Sit down - Kai showed the chair near the bed. As Martin sat down, feeling each muscle tremble, Kai went on.

• I am sorry for yesterday. Really very sorry. I have not much to add... And do not say you like me and rubbish like that. That's nothing but mercy, you all say you like me and carefully omit all that that would just let me know I am the burden. That's ridiculous. Don't I know that with the bald head I look just outrageous? Let's simply say "goodbye" to each other and forget the whole thing. That's far better.

• Better than what?

Martin's heart worked like the pneumatic hammer, the first drops of white, ice-cold sweat drops appeared on his forehead. The wave froze his head and went down to knees and even tips of his toes.

• You know. I was quite naive thinking I could find somebody like you. That would be too much happiness a time. And do not pretend that everything will be OK, we both know it won't. And please, leave this room...

Martin stood up and the only thing he registered in his mind and could recollect. He opened the eyes and shut them at once, shocked by the all shades of white attacking him from everywhere. The image was similar to that one you get travelling with the lift from the dark halls of a coal mine directly into a sunny beach on the coast. The ships passed by, their shapes contrasting with the crazy sun rays. The boats however continued to disappear, the picture he has seen started resembling a white wall. He slowly began to recollect the latest events.

"Why, on hell am I lying down on Stan's bed, I should be leaving the room..." He moved his arms, but they seemed not to obey the owner's wishes.

• Calm down, everything will be good - he heard Onkel Doc's voice. This held Martin's hand examining the pulse. - Take this one - the doctor put a pill in Martin's mouth and closed a glass of water to the boy's lips.

Regaining the forces, he tried to move the second hand but he could not. With the topmost effort he moved the head to the other side. The hand was held by Kai, pale and scared almost to death.

• OK, I shall leave the room - Martin's voice was dry but thrilling.

• Forget it, please. Please...

Kai's squeezed voice was nothing bit the voiceless crying, with the tears squeezed in the throat.

"What should I forget? What happened? Oh, he means his speech. He wanted me to leave..."

• Do not say anything now. Martin must take a little rest. And I think I must speak to you both immediately. - Onkel Doc sighed as he felt the pulse growing stronger and more rhythmical. Kai was allowed to stay at Martin's bed but was forbidden to say anything. The silence in the room was like the wall between the boys.

• You, Martin, must learn one thing. People with the cancer, especially the young ones, suffer parallel mentally too. The thing they hate the most is any visible sign of mercy. They want to be "normal" and since they know they are not, they feel rejected and tend not to believe anybody, assuming their intention are false or caused by the situation. The feeling gets multiplied by the very long stay in the hospital and that they can not feel independent. They are feed, bathed, some of them cannot even go to the toilet on their own. They connect all activity towards them as acts of humiliation.

• But there is a gap between a feeding nurse and personal feelings, at least I assume there should be.

• For you perhaps, for me. Do not forget that any hospital, especially such handling with cancers is a kind of another world, quite hermetic, any strangers are regarded as intruders.

• Well, so WHAT should I take more seriously: what happened yesterday or rather today's events?

• I doubt anybody knows the answer, Kai is the least to know it.

Each word hurt Martin to his flesh. That was really too easy, one must be stupid as a ditch water to take all yesterday events so promising.

• You must not forget one thing, probably the most important now: Martin is going to be operated in a couple of days. He is quite fit for it, but he is permanently refusing to believe. How to say it... That's the matter of conscience.

• Is there no way to change it?

• You see, I believed you'd do it. And I am going to help you...

• How?

• In a quite easy way. The operation is going to take place on Friday. Since today is Saturday, I can let him out till Tuesday evening, then he should go back for some necessary tests.

• Well, that'd be great, but isn't it too risky for him?

• I do not think so. I spare you all the theory about it, but that will certainly do. To tell you the truth I could have done it much earlier, but just now I see the reason I can do it for. First of all, however, I must have a written agreement of his mother. And one thing more: I agree for it but on certain conditions: no crazy ideas, no night talks till 2 a.m., try not to force him to long walks and any big effort. - Onkel Doc added some more remarks to be obeyed.

The doctor closed his eyes and went to a shelf, taking with his throbbing hands a bottle with the mysterious white label "Sulphur acid". The bottle did not contain any acid, but vodka. He wasn't any kind of a heavy drinker, but sometimes that was the only receipt to calm down. This time it was more than necessary.

Strangely enough, Herr Jezierski being almost sixty, had not learned to lie. This skill, which being used by the doctor almost always becomes a sort of a white lie was necessary, but each time after he lied, he did not know, if he'd done it properly to sound quite reliable. Especially when he did it to children. On the contrary to standard cliches, children are even more sensitive than the adults. The standard lie was "it will make you no harm, it won't hurt". He never said that, making use of the ambiguity of the phrases "a little", "only for a short time" and similar. The disappointing sight of children eyes, expressing voiceless "why do you lie to me when I believe you so much" was each time a severe punishment. This time things went even worse. Kay Schneider suffered the really severe kind of a cancer and chances he could get ready were about twenty percent. Because of the remission state of the cancer, he decided to operate the boy in a week, but the results of the operation could be mostly foreseen: the atrophic reaction and finally the last journey.

He'd informed Mrs Schneider about it, her reaction was astonishingly moderated. He'd expected the scenes of crying, even the nervous break down but that had not happened. Kai himself would not suffer very much, the modern medicine, on the contrary to making final effects, could very easily reduce pains of any sort. But Martin was a real danger. Twenty four hours were for him not only enough to turn Kai around, but to tie so emotionally with Kai, that it would cause unforeseen problems to both boys.

The step he'd decided to make was at least crazy. The easiest way was to tell Martin the whole truth just to make things human. But he could not. And he decided he would not do it. Martin's reaction to one of Kai's regular bad moods taught him to be very careful.

(a hint: "Love's a great adventure" - Ultravox, LP "The Collection")

That was easier as anybody could suspect. After one hour Martin with the expression of the winner of his face entered the room. Kai was lying on his bed and staring at Martin.

• Rusz dupe! Bewege deinen Arsch! Move your arse, you chicken! The world is waiting for us!

• What do you mean? Should we walk in the hall?

• More than that, we're free! You have three days off!

• You're kidding...

• Kill me if I am... Onkel Doc said you can go home for three days. - saying that he threw Kai's clothes on the bed.

Kai was shocked. On of his biggest dreams was to get out. There were even days when he stood in front of the door of the lift and thought what would happen if he just left the hospital. However, it was only a dream. The dream which is now coming true.

Martin looked carefully at Kai, when the boy changed his clothes. He found it the most fascinating view he had ever seen. The big, nice belly was of course smaller than it would be in case the boy were not ill... Even the big breast look nice, although the fat would not help to hear the most desired heartbeat. The thick thighs were quite proportional, even for such a clumsy creature.

Suddenly he realised that he waited to see that part of body that makes Kai male. And he succeeded! Kai took off the pyjama trousers sitting for a while completely naked, when carelessly pulling on his socks. The rare boyish pubic hair was probably the only hair Kai had after so many drugs... They were almost white. The small, limp male part must have hidden inside, leaving only some round ridges of the wrinkly skin, the red sack parted vertically by a dark, thick line was almost the part of the crotch, pushing all its contents inside. Martin felt blood shatter his mind.

The view was absolutely the first one, he'd never any opportunity to experience before. And it looked tasty! That would be the perfect cushion...

Although Kai's face expressed nothing, the boy was observing Martin. That lad was really into him! Sometimes sparks in the eye say far more than words. If it was any kind of test, it brought astonishing positive results. Martin should be the real treasure, not only as the close friend...

The boys left the ward as quivkly as possible, fearing that Onkel Doc could hestitate.

• My friend has a girlfriend and she hates that bitch... - sang Kai aloud as they left the hospotal building.

• You meant "he" - said Martin.

• I know what I am singing. Where do you suggest we should go?

• Straight home, I think. You do not seem to be quite fit for sightseeing of any kind.

• Silence of the lambs... Shut up and enjoy yourself. First of all I must take some money from my account.

• Do not do that, on heaven's sake. I have your mum's 200 DM, besides almost 950 DM of my own. That's hell of money!

• OK, I'll pay you back when we're at home. I heard you wanted to see the Museum of The Wall?

• That too...

They took the underground to the center. They sat against the oldish lady with the big wooden basket. Martin had an impression the basket, opposite to the lady, who was sitting still, was moving. He went observing it, when the top of it opened and the boys saw a small black head.

• What a nice cat... Can I stroke him? - asked Kai the woman.

• Of course you can. Prehaps you'd like to buy one? I have too many.

• Yes, how much is it?

• Ten marks, almost free of charge.

• So I'll take one.

• Are you crazy? - asked Martin. - I wonder if your mother allows you to keep it at home.

• Only for some days... The kitty is for you.

Not the cat itself made Martin think. The words "some days" sounded like "forever". And that quite audible trembling in Kai's voice.

• Well, I strongly doubt if my father allows me to have a cat.

• My mother would certainly not.

• Well, you've said that - said Martin and asked the lady: - Can you sell another?

• Why not?

• You are really crazy...

The other cat was black too, but in some way different.

• Mine's more black - said Kai. - Do you know how to call him?

• Nope. Wait... Today is Saturday, I'll call her "Sonnabend".

• We say rather "Samstag". (In German there are two words for Saturday. Sonnabend is used in north ern and Eastern Germany, Samstag in the southern part of the country as well as in Austria and Switzerland)

• That's my cat, isn't it? OK, I shall call her "Samstag". What should I call mine?

• No clue. Wait, the best ideas come rather late.

With two miewing kittens kept under their coats they left the train. The next hours they spent walking to and fro, Kai showed his special guest the city. They visited not only the Wall, but also Unter den Linden - the central street of the former East Berlin, Kurfuersterdamm, Europacenter, Bellevue... Martin wanted to see the jail of Spandau, where Hans Frank and other Germans sentenced in Nuernberg used to be kept, however he decided to spare Kai. The boy was glowing. Martin had to admit, that that short tour had changed the boy. When you saw him for the first time, you'd never think he could be seriously. Even his cheeks got red and Martin had the rare opportunity to see his friend smiling, joking and laughing.

• Now I am going to show you Berlin - said martin as they left the U-Bahn at Alexanderplatz.

• I thought we should be going home... You've showed me enough.

• That's only a moment...

Martin was afraid to go on the top of Fernsehturm, the Berlin TV Tower, he also feared about the cats. They suffered less than Martin, when they reached the top.

• I am going to be sick... - he said glancing down.

Now the roles changed. They immediately went down and Martin ran as quick as he could to the bushes and started vomining. Now Kai was worried about his friend. He came close to Martin and put his hand on the boy's neck.

• Are you OK now?

• Yes, I believe - said Martin, although he was not sure, feeling another sensations coming from the head and belly. He hated being seen sick. Especially by Kai, that's the worst way to see attractive.

Kai took the napkin ang carefully cleaned Martin's face.

• You should have told me you cannot go that high.

• Well... I know but I did not want to disappoint you. Besides, what would you think of me?

• Nothing more apart from I've thought before, be sure. Let us make a deal. Nobody will hide anything, OK?

• OK.

Now it was high time they went home. They went by taxi, the decission was made together, neither of the two boys felt good enough to change numerous trains. The taxi-driver had his radio on and Martin listened to the songs to calm down after dashing through the big city. Music was his big love, he was even an expert on the rock music and had won numerous competitions at the local radio. One song made an enormous impression on him, the old, good "Seasons In The Sun". Suddenly he began to understand the lyric, the meaning of simple words, which was nothing than a farewell with the world, bade by a teenager committing suicide. "Kai's farewell... What it would be like? Was the crazy berlin tour a kind of farewell?" His eyes became wet.

Mrs Schneider was astonished seeing Kai so happy. Even two black cats, that is one black and one more black, did not upset her. She reacted only with the words "Sagt mall, die Herrschaften, was dieser Schlamassel eigentlich soll" (Tell me, sirs, what's the mess around?) and thus she became the author of the cat's name "Schlamassel". Her heart melted, when preparing dinner for boys and milk for two black newcomers, heard the vivid voices of boys. Suddenly the voices vanished. The silence was rather annoying, so she looked up to the boys' room.

Well, she did not exept that. Kai and Martin were lying on the bed and kissing each other with passion.

To be continued Fortsetzung kommt Ciag dalszy nastapi

--------------------------------------- Any comments are welcome, the address is pilanin@poczta.onet.pl. Thanks for many words of encouragement, I'll try not to disappoint you. And be patient! I shan't accept any request of "what-will-be-next", although that's a prevailing question in your e-mails. WARNING: The Polish standard of quoting applied: hyphenation for the uttered phrases, quotation marks for thoughts. ----------------------------------------