Disclaimer:
This story is fictional and contains scenes of sex among teenagers of the gay orientation. If this offends you please leave now. If it is illegal to view such content where you are, please do not do so. Do not read this if you are under the age of 18. Do not COPY it without my permission.
Author's note:
This is my second story, the first one being "Love on Iradnia" in the Sci-fi/fantasy section. Any comments you may have can be sent to mystories92@gmail.com. Flames will be ignored.
OMG! I have had so much positive feedback. Thanks to all of you who read my story so far. It really makes me happy. Here is Chapter 5. I would have had it out sooner but- wait, just read and see my reason at the end.
Thanks to those who have pointed out my errors. You help me to become a better writer.
Not a Fantasy After All
Chapter 5: Yearning to love and be loved.
Dean
5:30. that was the time I woke up. It wasn't my alarm that went off, no, it was the screaming and shouting that was emanating from downstairs. It was now 5:55. Nearly time for me to get up. The arguing had been going on for twenty five minutes now. I couldn't make out what it was about, but I knew it was bad, and bad meant it was something stupid. It was always something stupid with them! And here I was, caught up in the middle.
They told me often that they loved me, but I didn't believe them. They wouldn't be arguing if it was true. Shouldn't their love for me have put their differences aside so that they could live happily with me as their common factor? No I didn't believe they loved me, they both were too angry about everything.
I liked it when it was quiet in the house. Silence was something that made believe that everything was alright, that my parents were happy and that I was happy. Those were the times when I would sit in the living room and just gaze out the window.
Ha! Those were the times when both my mother and father weren't at home.
Beep, beep! My alarm went off, followed by the radio coming on.
"I just want you close Where you can stay forever You can be sure That it will only get better You and me together Through the days and nights I don't worry `cause everything's gonna be alright."
Great! A love song, just what I wanted to hear early in the morning. Isn't life just dandy and full of life!
"No one, no one, no one Can get in the way of what I'm feeling No one, no one, no one Can get in the way of what I feel for you You, you Can get in the way of what I feel for you."
I shut the radio off. I didn't need this shit. The song just made me depressed. I ALSO WANT LOVE! I screamed in my head.
I threw the blankets off of me and got out of bed. My parents must have heard my alarm go off because it was quiet downstairs. He-he, did they really think that would have helped. I sorry to tell you this, but I was already awake!
I walked naked to my en suite bathroom and turned the shower on. I adjusted the temperature and got in, feeling the hot water cascading down on me. I turned my face into the spray and let the water hit my face. After a few moments I took my wash cloth and the soap and began washing myself quickly, and then I stood under the spray again, rinsing the soap off. I moved my hand to the tap and shut the hot water off. I didn't even flinch as the cold water hit me. It wasn't enough punishment for my being a burden to my parents. That was what I felt like, a burden. I stood there for five minutes, shivering and teeth chattering, and then turned the water off.
I got out of the shower, took a clean towel off the hook and dried myself off. I walked back into my room the same way I entered the bathroom, and took a pair of jeans and a light blue t-shirt out of my closet. I put them on, styled my hair (style meaning running my hand through it a few times) and made my way downstairs for breakfast.
I was now standing at the bus stop. I didn't feel like taking the school bus. I didn't have the courage to face all those happy teenagers. I waited patiently for the bus to arrive, trying to empty my mind, breathing in deeply and shutting my eyes. This usually helped me to relax, but this morning it didn't.
"Shouldn't you be taking the school bus?"
I was startled and jumped when I heard the voice. I turned to see who it was that had spoken. It was Mr. Jansen. He looked absolutely wonderful. He wore plain black slacks and a white shirt that was unbuttoned at the top. His hair was curly as usual. God, how I wanted to run my hands through them! He was smiling faintly and his dark eyes held me enthralled.
"H-Hi Mr. Jansen," I greeted softly.
"Ugh, please call me Cian, we are not at school." He rolled his eyes as he said that.
I couldn't help but smile. "Okay, hi Cian."
"That is much better." He laughed before his face turned serious. "Are you okay?"
What? Why was he asking me this?
"Um, I'm fine, thanks for asking." I flashed him a smile, just to assure him.
"Hmm. So why aren't you taking the school bus?"
What do I tell him? Think, think!
"Uh, I didn't feel like it," was my intelligent response.
I was nervous now. I noticed that he had rolled his shirtsleeves up. Oh, don't a guy's arms just look sexy when their shirtsleeves are rolled up? It was lean and I could see when the muscles in them flexed. The skin was that delicious caramel colour that made a lot of guys wish they could tan like that.
"Dean...Dean!"
"Huh, what?" I hadn't realized I was daydreaming.
"How are you finding my class?" he asked.
Phew! We were on to a safe topic.
"I'm really enjoying it, Mr. Ja-, uh Cian. It's really interesting."
He flashed me a breathtaking smile and I couldn't help but blush. I turned back and pretended as if the dried bubblegum on the tar in front of me was fascinating.
"I'm glad. May I let you in on a little secret?" he asked mock secretly.
"Uh, sure," I replied.
"He-he, I was extremely nervous when I started here on Monday."
"Really?" I asked. He hadn't seemed that way.
"Yep, I kept thinking `What would these kids say to having a seventeen year old teacher?'. Your class was the first one I saw that day."
I didn't know how to answer so I just nodded and smiled.
"Don't skip today," he said jovially.
"What!" I sputtered. I must have looked flustered because he started laughing. His face really lit up when he smiled and his eyes sort of smiled at you as well. He was a really easy person to look at. Not that he looked easy. I mean, the way he handled Justin when he protested about me and Josh standing next to each other was proof that he could handle himself.
"Don't stress! I just said not to skip today. I see your class last period and we are going to be making something nice."
"Like what?" I asked, gazing at him inquisitively.
"Oh no, it's a surprise," he said mysteriously. He sort of squinted as he said it.
And that's when the bus arrived. It stopped in front of us with a sigh and the door opened.
"Well come on slowpoke, or do you want to be late?"
I laughed and hurried up after him.
It was lunchtime, and I was sitting in the cafeteria thinking about the conversation we had on the bus. He was a very interesting and funny person. He also asked how everything was at home. I was startled that he had. No one at school knew about my parents divorcing. I couldn't bare everyone's pity. So I just forced a smile out and told him everything was great.
He nodded but didn't seem to be satisfied. It was like he didn't believe me. When we arrived at school and got off, he turned me seriously and put his hand on my shoulder.
"Now Dean, we are now at school. That means I am Mr. Jansen, is that clear?"
Wow! He sure changed character very quickly. I smiled and nodded.
He laughed, "He-he, I so love being a teacher here." And he walked off to the office block, muttering about teachers having so much admin work back home.
I sat alone at a table in the far corner. Josh and I would have been laughing our heads off at some lame joke he made right about now, but could see him a few tables down, whispering seductively into Danielle's ear.
`That bitch!' I cursed in my head, throwing them my most evil glare, even though they couldn't see it.
Sigh. I missed Josh. He was the one I could always confide in, well, except of course to tell him about my sexuality. I heard call guys `faggots' in the hall many times, and each time he did, it pierced my heart. I never knew him to be so cruel before.
The cafeteria door opened and Mr. Jansen walked in. I gathered that about ninety percent of people in the cafeteria turned the gazes toward him and I could hear a few girls whispering excitedly at a nearby table. His position as a teacher caused quite a stir on Monday and the twelfth graders all respected him.
He walked along the cafeteria displays slowly. He was a third of the way through and I could see that he had a frown on his face and he was shaking his head side to side. He looked disappointed about something and I gathered it was because of the cafeteria's menu.
Ha-ha, this place was more like a low budget burger joint. He walked along and then stopped to chat to the lunch lady at the till. They seemed to be having a heated discussion and Mr. Jansen was gesturing to the food in the displays. A few kids from a table near to them burst out laughing, but were silenced when he glared at them.
Wow, he was so cool.
A few seconds later he stomped out of the cafeteria. The lunch lady looked flustered and was fanning herself with a latex gloved hand.
I chuckled to myself. The bell rang at that moment and everyone started shuffling out. I was one of the last to leave and was heading toward my locker when I was shoved from behind. I fell on to my stomach and gasped. I turned around to see who it was and my eyes widened when I saw a few guys standing there laughing, well most of them. The only one who wasn't laughing was Josh. No, he had a blank look on his face, as if he didn't care.
"Hey fag, watch where you're going!" one of them said.
I didn't bother correcting him because it was only going to get me a fist in the face. I felt like crying. Not because of their torment, that I could handle, but it was because Josh was standing there and he wasn't doing anything. His uncaring attitude cut me deep. Was I nothing to him? Was our friendship just a phase in his life that was now over?
I didn't bother answering myself. I just got up and circumnavigated my way around them. The guys were still laughing and they watched me all the way to back entrance of the school. It looked like I was going to disappoint Mr. Jansen today. I made it to the bleachers on the field before I let my tears fall.
Cian
I was angry- no, I was enraged! It was too late for me to get to him before he ran out.
Damn them!
I resolved to get them again, but on my own my. I knew everyone of them that was laughing, and the sight of Josh's blank stare boiled my blood to a point that I thought I would explode!
I turned around and made my way in my classroom. It was Kayla's class and we were using a normal classroom today for the eleventh graders.
"To your seats, now!" I barked. I was not in the mood to play nice.
A few girls yelped at my tone and a few guys even looked scared. There must have been murder in my eyes. To top such a wonderful day off, I was put in charge of arranging a new menu for the cafeteria. What the hell were they feeding the kids here? Psh, that would be sorted out in due time.
"You received textbooks right?" I glared at the class.
Every one of them nodded.
"Good, take them out and turn to page thirty-seven. Read through the case study and answer activity one's questions. That is all."
I went and sat at my desk. I saw Kayla look questioningly at me. I just closed my eyes and shook my head. The period was then spent in silence, with me going through recipe books and doing lesson plans.
Last period, the period of redemption. Well, it was for one person in particular. Apparently my demonic mood had spread like wildfire the previous two periods and Dean's class came in subdued and wary, each making their way to the hand basin in turn. It was my luck that I had Josh's other friends in my previous classes, and let's just say that they were now aware of my South African manners and Charms. There were times when I was proud of my roots. I kept a blank look on my face and watched each one of them enter the kitchen. I hoped that a session in the kitchen would lift my spirits, but I highly doubted it.
"Come on, come on. Hurry it up, we haven't got all day," I hurried them along.
They settled down and faced me. I knew everyone's names in every class I had. I made it a point to learn them.
I surveyed the class with a frown. Some kids were biting their lower lip in anticipation of an outburst.
"Where is Dean?" I said quietly. My piercing gaze rested on Josh's face. Of course, he didn't know that I knew what his friends did.
I guess I shouldn't have taken the incident so hard, but I couldn't help it. I also knew worse things had happened at schools back home, things that made these kids bullying seem like child's play, but I just couldn't help it. It always starts with name calling, then there's a shove, then there's fighting, and it somehow always ended up in suicide. At least, that's what I read about concerning American schools. I didn't know if it was true. Back home it sometimes went straight to knifing the kid.
I could see a guilty look on Josh's face.
"We haven't seen him since after lunch sir," Sarah answered solemnly.
I looked at her and managed to give her a smile before it turned blank again.
"Right, okay. Aren't you guys forgetting something?" I asked rubbing my apron absentmindedly and gazing at them. In truth I wasn't rubbing it absentmindedly, not one of them had remembered to put it on.
"Our aprons!" Kyle exclaimed, finally taking note. The rest of the class hurried to get them out of their bags and put them on.
"Finally, now we can get started." Although I still didn't have any vim and vigor in me, I was going to allow them to have fun with the activity.
"Who likes to drink?" I asked them.
Dead silence. Wide eyes.
"He-he," I couldn't help but laugh, "don't look so stunned, I asked you a valid question. Don't worry about confidentiality, there are no adults here, are there?"
It looked like they thought about it and then about two-thirds of the class raised their hands.
"Today we are going to be making a drink. Now don't go getting your hopes up, there will be now alcohol involved. Gotcha! We are going to be making mocktails, seeing as it's a hot day today. Now who can tell me what a mocktail is? Yes Eric."
"It's a non-alcoholic cocktail, sir," Eric said.
"Very good, and today we are going to be making two, well the girls are making one and the boys are making another. Can you give me an example of one?"
Jeez- Louise, Eric again. Something told me that Eric was going to get an A+ today, "Yes, Eric."
"A Shirley Temple, sir."
"He-he, yes Eric, that's correct. Now today the boys will be making a Pussyfoot..." a few giggles erupted, "... and the girls will be making a Virgin Mary." Even more giggles.
I proceeded to hand out recipes and to explain to them what equipment they were to use and the class busied themselves with making the drinks.
I honestly tried to make myself happy, but it wouldn't work, I was worried about Dean, and that just made my disappointment and anger toward Josh simmer.
Near the end of the period, I went around tasting the finished product. Needless to say, I had to spit out quite a few times. Ugh, maybe a few of them should just stick to drinking. But a few of them had a knack for it and I told them so. I came to Josh's drink and managed to act civilized. The punk's drink was actually very good.
The bell rang and I told them to clean up and leave, I think I spoke kind of harshly, because the room was quiet.
"Josh Braddock, stay behind." That was all I said, and the way I said sounded very ominous. Redemption was at hand.
I didn't look at him as I went to sit at my desk. I was emotionally exhausted, but I still had to make one thing right. The class emptied and Josh approached my desk. I was quickly scribbling a thought down towards future lessons.
"Yes sir?" I dearly hoped he didn't sound confident, but when I looked up at him, he had a faint smile on his face. I didn't fail to notice that he was gorgeous. He had light brown hair that was cut stylishly and his eyes were a deep green colour. His skin was a shade darker than Dean's and he had a cute nose and yummy looking lips. He was slightly bulkier than Dean. The fact that I felt attracted to him as well just strengthened my resolve to fix this problem between them. Some people might say that I was meddling in other people's affairs, but I say that when it comes to people I care, and I'm a very caring person, Kayla said so herself, I would go to the edge of the earth for them.
"Do you value friendship, Josh? Think well before you answer."
His smile vanished and he seemed startled that I had asked him such a personal question.
He seemed to think before he answered, "Yes sir."
Well, maybe he didn't think at all.
I frowned and stood up. I was a good few inches taller than he was and he had to look up as I stood before him. "Wrong answer."
"What?" his mouth gaped.
"You see, if you valued friendship, you wouldn't be standing before me now. In fact, you wouldn't have stood with your friends in the hall with a blank look on your face, while your `best friend' got shoved and bullied." My voice had risen a decibel or two and I could see my words sink into Josh's thick skull.
"Oh yes, I saw what happened. I know why Dean isn't here. I know what happened between the two of you and I must say I'm disappointed in you."
Josh looked down, but not before I saw is eyes glisten with tears. I closed my eyes, I couldn't feel sorry yet. I still had more to say.
"Why in God's name would you give up your friendship, which lasts for a lifetime, for a girl that might not even be there tomorrow? Josh, when that girl leaves, who are you gonna go to, to seek comfort, your best friend right? Well it doesn't look like you have one anymore."
I paused trying to catch my breath. I was really getting into this. I could see a tear had fallen on Josh's left cheek, but I still wasn't done yet.
"You are going to go find Dean, and you are going to reinforce those values of yours and in the process, get your best friend back. I hate seeing people unhappy. Tomorrow when you get to my class, I want to see two happy bestest-best friends. I will make your life hell if you two don't make up. Leave!" I barked and turned around. I heard Josh rush out of the class and I sank to my knees. I could feel my cheeks getting wet and my eyes were blurry.
Oh God. Could it be possible that I've fallen for Dean?
Josh
`Oh God, Oh God, Oh God. What have I done?' I lamented in my mind. I am so stupid! Why didn't I realize it sooner? Mr. Jansen was totally right, and I'm a fucking loser.
I cried silently as I rushed to find Dean. Luckily for me I knew exactly where I could find him.
I ran out the back entrance and made my way to the bleachers. I knew he would stay under them until everyone left school. He wouldn't even go home. I never knew why. But now I needed to go apologize and make things right with Dean, my brother, yes he was like a brother to me and I loved him.
I found him exactly where he was. He sat with his back against a pole and his knees up to his chin, His head rested in his folded arms.
I walked silently toward him, screaming at myself inside that I could cause pain to a friend.
"Dean, can we talk?"
Author's Note:
Well... This chapter is done. God, I'm so angry at myself! Before I started writing this chapter I had dreamt up an entire version of it and when I woke up, I was excited. But then it started slipping away! And by the time I made to College for exams, it was ALL GONE! Sigh. So I did this one. I'm not too sure about it, and it seemed to drain me. Tell me what you think at mystories92@gmail.com