North Meets South

Story: North Meets South: When Worlds Collide

Chapter: 24 Prepping for New York

Author: Eric McQueen (mcqueen.richarderic@gmail.com)

Mature Readers only due to sexual situations and graphic sexual content

Freedom of expression is precious. To do that, Nifty needs help. Your donation is greatly desired. Give to http://donate.nifty.org/ or this story ends and all the others! That would be a crime!

Tony and Mitch enjoy getting ready for their trip to New York. They enjoy time with Sasha, David, and Alik. They begin decorating for Christmas. (When Daniel got his diagnosis, my thoughts were almost constant about his condition. I never forgot. As this is semiautobiographical, I included this with Mitch. It seems redundant and foolish, but it is the reality. What I went through was Hell. I included it in this story. He was sick, not me, but my Hell was just as bad. Be honest if you are the caregiver, but don't let up with the support. There are victories and loses. Daniel's battle was hard and he deserved to have that told.)

Prepping for New York

I heard the drone of sound from the television on in the living area. Music and voice sounds that merged, yet it wasn't loud enough for me to make out what was being said. I didn't know what was being watched. I suspected who it was. Alik was on a schedule, and it was late in the morning for him. He would normally be at school now. Things in the morning just happened and soon, I had to get up as the "call of nature" gave my mind a nudge. Why fight it? It would go from a nudge to a shout if not obeyed. I gently moved Tony's arm from around me slowly. Not too fast! No, because if he woke up just a little, his arm would tighten if I moved his arm too quickly. It took years to learn that. He wasn't taking chances of losing me even in his sleep.

Success! I got up and did what I was told by my bladder to do. Tony and I were honest with each other, yes. This threat Tony and I would face together was still on my mind. Dr. Keogh had been very positive about treatment and confident about what results would be. Face it. The McKenzies are fatalists. The negative side of everything was seen first. You can't really lie to yourself...I tried for a few years, but I always knew I was gay. Lying and denial were different things. The was an elephant in the room. Pretending it wasn't there wasn't going to help. My decision was to simply look the situation in the eye and acknowledge this. Tony had cancer. It was big and I was terrified, but Tony needed me to see him through no matter what was the consequence. My thought now was about how I was going to keep my arm around him. Until we got rid of that cancer in him out, he was in danger. I had read on many websites, there were victories! A testimony about a woman with pancreatic cancer had almost no chance of beating hers but did! She had the worst and fastest cancer yet won. That one. I hoped she still was. Giving people hope was what we did. I also knew that once a person gets rid of cancer, they were scanned for five to ten years after it was gone. Relapses happened. I knew this would be something to worry about the rest of his life. These treatment centers applied all parts of a person's health. Support health wise and spirit wise. Family was crucial and I was that family. David and Sasha, too. The caregiver was also to be supported to help keep the patient encouraged to keep the fight going!! Ignoring it wasn't an option. Anyone could be at the wrong place at the wrong time and just be gone! I knew what Grandpa meant about life being deadly. Even if you win, you will lose...a little later perhaps, but you will die! This is the last time I mention her, but my sibling just did NOT get it. She was the focus of it all. She didn't like suffering. She was suffering? Being there wasn't about you. It was about the person you love. Tony was going to hurt. I had no idea what was coming, but I couldn't let Tony do it alone! I could never leave him. It wasn't fair, but it was. Tony didn't want it. It wasn't his fault. My love and concern for Tony was more important than how much it hurt me! She never understood that. We didn't even know if she was alive or dead. I hope, if she is dead, someone cared about her enough to not leave her when the time came.

I sighed and knew I would remind myself all the time. Tony is here! Now! I would make it my daily mantra soon. Think positive!!

Yeah, it was dark in a McKenzie's mind. No one would want to read my mind and hear arguments. Me versus me. I didn't want to hear it, but... I flushed. All that while I peed. Again, I reminded myself he was here. Now. Wondering what could or might be, was stupid. I was not stupid. The McKenzies didn't take those extra steps and wallowed. Not me.

The bathroom door opened, and Tony shuffled in with a colossal yawn as he came in scratching the back of his head. His eyes were only half open. He wasn't fully awake yet. A sexier man I did not know. I don't care if you hear it before. I LOVED THAT MAN. The left corner of his mouth rose in a smile at me. "'mornin'." He greeted in what was just above a mumble. He did a "drive-by" kiss on the way to the toilet.

I chuckled at him, "Are you up?" I asked. "Or are you going back to bed?"

"Dunno, yet," Came back as I heard his stream begin in the toilet.

"You don't know," I nodded. "Okay, I'll start the kawffee you'll be jonesing for, just in case."

He shuffled back out following the flush, "I don't deserve you." He grinned and kissed me harder.

"Yes, you do." I shrugged. "You love me."

He nodded, "I do. And you love me."

"That's right."

Dressing in shorts and a t-shirt I walked out and saw Alik sitting, the television was on some cartoon, superhero thing but he was looking down. Reading! Yeah, it blew me away, too. Don't get me wrong. He was a boy and had energy to burn at times. Sasha and David watched what Alik ate. Sasha wasn't cruel with it. Alik enjoyed sweets...occasionally. Sasha made many of the cookies, pies and cakes and let Alik have some moderately. As a result, and the foundation his mother began Alik was a calm child. Except when told about the Raging Russian Bull. I could see what he was reading, but...

"Where is he now?" I asked Alik removing the fresh coffee from the cabinet.

Alik's eyes looked up and he smiled at me. "Professor Sherman nad Tichim Okean..." he stopped. "Sorry, English. He's over the Pacific..."

"Whoa!" I held my hands up in the "time out" position and smiled, "Alik, you're fine. Just a second. You're reading in English and telling me in Russian!? That's great! Do you still have to translate what you read into Russian in your head?"

"Yeah," Alik sadly reluctantly.

"That's fine!" I assured. "I do when I read Russian and translate to English to understand." I gave a shrugging nod, "Agreement with the subject, verb, adverb, and adjectives..." I shook my head. "You guys don't use many conjunctions and articles!?" I growled, "You don't say I'm going to the library. Take me to the hotel. I want to visit my friend in the hospital." I touched my head with both hands. "I'm have to reconstruct the sentence to understand."

Alik smiled bigger, "You do?"

"You get faster at it and soon you no longer have to," I nodded and motioned for Alik to continue, "Go on."

"He left San Francisco and he had this great basket/cabin in the sky!!" Alik explained excited. "Even his mattress is a hot air balloon! To make up the bed, he just wakes up and it floats to the ceiling when he doesn't lie on it!"

I nodded, "That's right. You understand about why he puts his garbage outside at the front of the basket?"

"Sure!" Alik nodded. "The wind is blowing him around, pushing him from behind. The wind blows the smell forward faster!" He looked at me. "He's going to have some trouble, isn't he? That's why he gets to Krakatoa. He has to set down for repairs, doesn't he?"

"I won't answer that," I grinned.

"You know," Alik smirked.

"I do," I got the coffee set up and started the coffeemaker. "To find out, you have to read. Just like I did."

"But where the island of Krakatoa is from San Francisco is a long way!" Alik stated. "I looked it up. That's thousands of miles! Severo-vostok Avstralia."

The name of directions and countries would come, but I just nodded, "That's right. Northeast of Australia."

Alik nodded he pointed at me remembering, "Da, voth vi vse." Yeah, that's it.

I chuckled, "You're doing great! I'm impressed! Really!" I grinned.

"Good morning, Uncle Tony!" Alik greeted as Tony walked in the room who yawned again and just waved.

I read a lot. Now Tony was Eeyore. Winnie-the-Pooh? The gloomy, depressed stuffed donkey who would thank you for noticing him when someone said good morning. "Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Who knows?" He'd say. He was my favorite. I loved him!! I still do.

"What do you want for breakfast?" I asked Tony.

"Room service," Tony grumbled in mumbled and then he frowned at me. "Why am I so tired? We didn't travel anywhere, change time zones..." He slouched on the kitchen island counter. Not his normal manner. "You don't think..." he touched his chest.

"No!" I said quickly, "I don't think so!" I said it too quickly and loud. I sighed and pulled him up and kissed him. "Sorry." I looked to see Alik had returned to his book. I said in a lower voice, "I read about it." I saw his surprised look. "Don't look at me like that. I did! You have achalasia. The cancer that hits almost all patients who have achalasia get esophageal cancer most of the time. It's not a fast-growing cancer." I explained as his eyes grew. "Would you go into battle unprepared?" I asked. "You are important, and I needed to know everything I can about this..." I looked and saw Alik ignored the television, but read, "thing." I patted my own chest, "We're Scotsmen! We fight!! I wanted to find the best way to do that. I'm going to mention it to Dr. Keogh, but there are medications you can take over the counter that can numb the nerves of the throat. There has to be a medicine stronger they can use to ease the pain of swallowing." I looked as his smile grew. The mind was very important. If he thought it might be... "If you want to be sure and ease your mind, we can take you and have it checked out..."

Tony shook his head, "No, we can at least wait until Monday, but..." He kissed me. "Why am I so tired?"

"Post Traumatic Fatigue," I grinned. "Yesterday was fun! It was also pretty intense." I looked him in the eyes. "You had it after the Twin Towers attack."

"How do you know!?" Tony asked surprised.

"You told me! You didn't sleep for nearly three days after that," I tapped him on the chest. "And Kathy told me. You would lie down and be back up in an hour and did it night after night until you would collapse. You were released to Kathy `s and Al's care."

"Al is a doctor! Kathy's a nurse!" Tony said it to say that was the obvious choice.

"Yes," I smiled. "I was a cop. After accidents and violent crimes victims and witnesses have this. It's a kind of Post-Traumatic Stress the day after. Smelly guy last night threatened us." I waved at the couch, "He threatened Alik, and we know we both love Alik. It happens."

"Huh," Tony nodded and then smiled at me. "You would have made a great cop."

"I was a great cop," I grinned. "I have more than enough excitement now."

The little signal the coffeemaker had to let us know the coffee was done sounded. Tony didn't need the signal; we could smell it was done. The scent drew Tony like a bloodhound. "Oooh!" Tony said happily reaching for the glass pot. I handed him his favorite tall mug.

"The only room service will be delivery," I smiled, "There's Rosey's Carolina Slam. I think every truck driver, cop, paper boy knows..." I stopped and tilted my head as I thought, "Do paper boys even deliver papers anymore?"

Tony nodded, "We can have it delivered!"

"Nikogda!" Never! Sasha said following David down the stairs. "Have you seen those guys that eat there!?"

Carolina Slam had been open seemingly forever! A woman in the forties needed to support her family during World War II and she claimed her only skill was to cook. So, she did. At that time the Charleston Navy Base was very busy. She opened her doors at four in the morning! Yes. All the service men, and the women working industry and the base where the men worked. We were at war, but we had somewhere to get something to eat. And it wasn't costly. Anyone going on shift or coming off shift had something they could get. Rationing and all that, Rosey had a solution. That was her name. Now Rosey's grandchildren and great grandchildren kept the business going. She had to move her business, of course, but kept it going right in the middle of everything. Industry and the base, The base closed, we lived where the base was now, but Rosey's Grand Slam was still there. Over the decades it grew in popularity with all people that worked as a cop, industrial workers...you get it. They kept it open from four in the morning until one thirty in the afternoon. Now there were doctors, lawyers, politicians that ate there. A new Rolls Royce would park by a beaten and rusty pickup. Equal standing. The kitchen staff came in at two in the morning. Biscuits were made fresh, fritters of all kinds...yep, wiped your mouth of the drool. I started drooling, too. Cornbread, doughnuts... stop!!! I'm making me hungry.

"Almost every man that goes in and out, weighs over one hundred and thirteen kilograms!" Sasha stated.

"Convert that please," Tony groused. "I need more kawffee to calculate this early."

I chuckled, "Two hundred and fifty pounds." I answered Tony.

"Ivan is one hundred and forty-seven kilograms," Tony pointed out. "Over three hundred pounds."

Sasha nodded, "Yes, and all of it is muscle!" He pointed out. "Muscle weighs more and he has to keep up. That's his job! Maybe," he pointed out of the condo, "a few need that, but I've seen more that don't." He rubbed his hands together. "I'm making us Syrny Blinchik."

"What?" Tony leaned forward a little and asked.

"Zhareny Chishcake?" I asked Sasha.

Sasha gave a grudging nod, "Kind of."

Tony shook a scolding finger in my face, "You don't ever tell anyone you're not fluent in Russian." He said loud. Attracting Alik's attention and smile. Tony was yelling again. I was about to remind him, but Tony's hand covered my mouth. "Don't do it." He let my mouth go, "What is..." he waved at both Sasha and me, "what you two said?"

"Sasha mentioned a cheese pancake," I waved at Sasha who was laughing. "I asked about a fried cheesecake..."

Sasha nodded, "And it is, kind of." He waved at the refrigerator, "The batter is ready. I have the dough for the Khachapuri out and ready to beat down and corned beef hash."

Tony looked at me, "Khach...?"

"It's a sort of roll, or biscuit..." Sasha explained.

Tony waved at him, "Yeah, I get it." He pointed at me but looked at Sasha. "Don't you fuss at Alik for speaking Russian. Mitch knows Russian because he uses it." He pointed at Alik, "Until I tell you not to, only Russian to me. Okay?"

Alik smiled bigger at hearing that., "Choroso." Okay.

Tony shrugged, "He's a kid!" He smiled at me. "He'll be a great teacher. Some of those shows he watches in Russian look pretty cool. Why not?"

"You were determined to make me an American!" Sasha said happily. "How am I doing?"

I shook my head smiling, "You're doing great!" I raised that finger, "You're well on the way to be a Southern American of Scottish descent, soon you'll learn about being a branch of the family."

"We'll be a Scottish, Italian, Russian, Yankee Southern family!" David nodded.

"About the Yankee part," Tony began.

Knowing he was going to explain he wasn't a Yankee and why, I nudged him gently, "Later, Tony," I muttered. "Explain Ellis Island later."

Sasha's Syrny Blinchik wasn't a fried cheesecake. It was really what I'd seen as syrniki. It looked more like what we knew here as a real pancake, buttermilk or other in the United States. They are universal! Every culture and country had them. How I knew this was one of those shows I saw a lady from Russia on a cooking show. Grandma Sveta's Best Breakfast Recipes featuring how to make "Pushistaya Yaichnitsa" which were fluffy scrambled eggs and syrniki. It was a game for me. I followed it! Julia Child (the French Chef), Giada De Laurentius or Bobby Flay, a chef was a chef. It was rare for a chef or cook to discover unknown dish. Food was food; recipes were chemistry and preparation. Some chefs found new and other ways to make the same dish. Some people had a talent when they cooked. Sasha had a major talent. I understood most of it, except the measurements teaspoon or grams...temperatures to preheat...Sasha's pancakes looked like flapjacks I had growing up! Topped with fruit or honey...it didn't taste right with sweet syrup. Sasha had time now to really cook. He was a chef already, as far as I was concerned. He made some fruit...jam? It was naturally sweet and the fluid dribbled down the sides. There were hot strawberries, grape and apple jams and it was delicious. Most people liked to eat. We've come a long way from throwing our kill on the fire or putting them above one of those spits. Everything else evolved from there and we made prepping the kill and consuming it into an art. (Yes, I loved to cook, and I loved a few chefs. Tyler Florence could cook for me any time. He was hot.)

I give the impression that it was all good. It was, but...that new perspective on life was always going to be in the background. Again, something was there in Tony. It was now identified as cancer. He had a chance at beating it. Dr. Keogh was very positive about it. The worry thing with Italians was...people from Scotland had it, too. Animals don't worry about future events coupled with the knowledge of what can happen in that future. I don't know, I've never known about animals getting depressed knowing what will happen in the future. They got hungry and did something about it. Yes, there were animals like bears, alligators and even squirrels that stored food to access later, but that was instinct. I knew that it could go into remission, but I also knew it came back in some people. In some ways, it was a reminder that our time together was short and finite. That made me appreciate Tony being here even more. I was determined to remember that each time those horrible thoughts came. Grandpa was right. Young people didn't really appreciate being alive and thought they were immortal. I guilty, too.

We had a great time at breakfast!

It was later when we began sorting through the decorations to get ready to put them on the tree, which Alik was happy to see was now looking more and more like the tree we'd been shown last night. The branches were spreading out and down.

"We're decorating the tree and then leaving," Alik said in curiosity.

Tony looked up at nothing and then asked, "Because it's Christmas." He shrugged. "It makes the house pretty, smell good and is a reminder of the season." He sighed. "Santa Claus, Bafana, and Ded Moroz are fun, but it's the feeling that comes with spending time with family and friends. The holiday became more than one holiday for one religion or group." Tony looked at Alik curious, "Did your mother take you to any church in Russia?"

Alik nodded, "Mom insisted we went to church. Especially then, but that isn't for another month."

Tony chuckled and nodded, "Yes, because of the calendar. They still celebrate Christmas using the old calendar."

"Calendar?" Alik repeated. "What do you mean?"

"Yes, calendar," Tony was getting mockingly irritated and Alik's smile grew. "The square box things with numbers to tell you the date of the day."

Alik grinned a little evilly, "Oh, календарь." He nodded.

Tony rolled his eyes, "Okay. Календарь. My point is...the Holiday Season has changed over the centuries, and it now isn't just one religion. Christmas for Christians, Rohatsu for Buddhists, Hannukah for Jews, the Solstice..." he sat back a little and looked at Alik. "As a matter of fact, Hannukah is a minor holiday, but you saw the Hannukah Tree yesterday! It's evolved into a much bigger holiday because of the Holiday Season! Some Jewish homes celebrate Santa and Christmas along with Hannukah," His voice grew in volume which made Alik smile bigger. "I mean, what did they have before!? The Dreidel Song, Dreidels, and that candelabra? The holiday has grown!" He nodded and waved Alik down who was laughing, but Tony interrupted Alik's protest which Alik may or may not have objected to. "I know, I know...that one night supply of oil lasted a week! That saved them from invasion. I got it."

I laughed at Tony. I could see him talking to Nick when he was a baby and a child. It explained how Nick turned out so well. I could imagine Angelo doing it to Tony.

"I don't know about Bodhi Day for Buddhists," Tony said animated, making Alik chuckle. "Solstice is celebrated but other religions and Christmas with Santa, Bafana and Ded Moroz is for everyone, including atheists." He stopped and looked at Alik, "Where was I going with this?" His face lit up. "Oh, yes!" He looked at Alik and smiled, "We say Christmas, the Holiday Season. And they all started to merge. The calendar changed AFTER some traditions were in place both religiouslyand secularly."

"Secularly?" Alik's eyebrows came together, and he didn't know what Tony meant.

Tony snapped his fingers at me and Sasha, "Not religious, but secular is...?"

I shrugged, "I knew what a pew was, but I have no idea what secular in Russian is." I looked at Sasha. "Sasha?"

Sasha looked up, surprised a moment and then said, "Oh, you want svetsky. That's for secular and secularly." He looked at me and whispered, "You knew tserkov skamia!?"

I nodded, "That report we saw on the damage to that church and the news said sidenye. Moscow 24 reported mnogive skamia byli povrezdeny... those old wood pews were damaged in that fire at the Russian Orthodox Church..."

Sasha's eyes widened and he nodded, "Oh, okay."

"The calendar used in Russia is the old one," Tony explained. "I like to decorate my home. We do it together and spend time together as a family. Don't you like it?"

Alik nodded, "I guess."

David snickered, "A little confession time, Mitch." He was unraveling Christmas lights. He jutted his head at Alik, "Tell him why you really hang on to those traditions like Rudolph."

I grinned and pointed at David, "You, too!" I nodded. "Sure. It's no secret, but...I become a kid again." I sighed and smiled at the memories that came back. "Grandma and Grandpa respected Christmas and the Nativity but had fun with me as a child. Mom and Dad always told me the truth about Santa but loved to tell stories about him. I think it was Grandpa that got me started with Rudolph, Frosty the Snowman, Merry Christmas Charlie Brown, and those other animated shows. It's innocence." I felt the warmth in my chest as I remembered sitting on Grandpa's lap. "No matter how hard life can be; for an hour or two...the stresses are just..." I waved my hands out, "gone!" I laughed again. "The world seems a little happier and people went farther out of their way to be kind and polite. Watching the shows and decorating brings those feelings back." I tapped my own head. "Because I remember."

Tony nodded at what I said, giving a whole-hearted agreement, "That is absolutely right!" He pointed at me. "Alik, we want to create some damned good memories for you, so when you have your children and grandchildren you can tell them why you do it. You won't be able to help it!!"

"Right and wrong is sometimes hard to figure out," I said. "Religions often have the compass needed to figure out if you're heading in the right direction." I told Alik.

"You just need a few more under your belt to feel it," Tony nodded.

There were so many traditions and using the old or new calendar traditions were that important. Alik was too young to miss anything we might have missed. We'd start new traditions for him. We were five big children getting things ready to decorate with. The traditions for the Holiday Season were mostly Winter conditions. Unless you come from Australia, New Zealand, South Africa...all those places south of the equator. Santa was pictured down there on the beach often in shorts or surfing...it was Summer there! I liked the one where Santa in t-shirt and shorts on, but complete with the white beard and hat, held a cute little joey (baby kangaroo) in his arms giving the joey an affectionate kiss on the head. The joey was adorable and clearly loved Santa!! That white beard and hat hid Santa, so I couldn't tell about that Santa. The memory still makes me smile thinking about it. At least my mental images were of thick sweaters, snow sometimes on the ground and a fireplace blazing where you drank hot Christmas Spiced Tea, Hot Chocolate, ate popcorn and holiday cookies...you know. Home!! Those Courier and Ives Winter scenes just pounded it in deeper. The snow on the ground, the sleighs, homes lit in the background... Everybody has seen them! The hotel we visited the night before...that whole miniature village with the train and snow; that whole display was a Courier and Ives type of display! In 3D!! But it was seventy-four degrees Fahrenheit outside at 2:30pm here. It would drop into the forties over even the upper thirties that night.

Sasha motioned for me and Tony to come over to him, but the way he looked over at Alik, seeing he was laughing with his Daddy-David made Sasha smile, but he leaned toward Tony and me and said quietly, "Tasha is coming to New York this month."

I grinned hearing Alik's mother was coming, "It's about damned time!"

Sasha chuckled, "I know, I know..." he waved a sympathetic hand to stop us. "Whether it was the United States or Russia; it takes a while for the wheels of progress to move. If things go like it should, she will be allowed to stay after she arrives." He out a cautious hand. "Hopefully, it will be," Sasha agreed. "She was asking about coming here, but we're going to New York City, we can meet her and Igor there."

"Good," Tony nodded. "Mitch and I need to get to know Igor."

Igor was Tasha's fiancé. I shoved Tony gently, "He got the once-over from Sasha. You know Sasha was thorough."

"Maybe," Tony grumbled. "But..." he thought a moment, "What do you call a man; Igor," he pointed away from the condo, "that is marrying my husband Mitch's," he pointed at me, "who's cousin; David," he pointed at David. Sasha's eyes grew as Tony went on, "is marrying Sasha's ex-girlfriend? Sasha is family, so what do we call Igor who will be related to Tasha and Alik by marriage..."

Sasha stated, "Confused."

Tony grinned at Sasha, "That's not exactly an answer, or are you saying what you are?"

"Yes!" Sasha threw his hands out helplessly.

I shrugged, "That's too specialized for a greeting card."

Sasha chuckled and shook his head, "To keep Alik calm, I think we need to keep this from him until she arrives in New York City."

Tony nodded, "Okay."

"Sasha and Tasha," I said in gruff rumble smiling and then saw Sasha's blank stare. Tony smiled at me as he understood. "Oh, come on, Sasha!" I moved my hands to the right, "Sasha!?" I moved my hands to the left and said in a near stage-whisper, "and Tasha!? Tasha and Sasha." I shook my head. "That has got to be a joke!"

The advantage of having a child in the house was the excitement they had for things and special times, such the Holiday Season, was infectious! I tried all my life to keep that childlike innocence by watching those seasonal shows and eating those special things...and it worked. To a point. Adult reality came back swiftly, but for that short time, be it a half an hour or an hour...I was a kid again. Hoping I would get that special something I asked for under the tree. Would it be there? This year I only wanted one thing. Tony for another year or two. In good health.

I know, it was something I thought about now almost constantly now. I'd be a heartless fool to deny it or run away. Resolving to accept it didn't take it from my mind. Cancer was a very heavy thing to battle. Even with the positive encouragement from Dr. Keogh it was a situation we couldn't ignore or treat like a simple cold. Tony was spending money to compensate for something. I wondered if he somehow knew even before he was diagnosed. His desire to build a new house, the trip on the Queen Mary was more than just a little extravagant. Kathy even said it wasn't if they would get cancer, but when. After the when arrived, Tony had to get that car. We didn't need it, but it was for Tony. He needed it. If he spent every cent we had...as long as he remained alive and with me; I would be fine with it. The McKenzies were too caught up with cost and appearances. I was guilty of that at first.

We were waiting for St. Nicholas Day, that was the saint and not Kris Kringle or Santa. Tony was having a good time with Alik sorting and setting out the many decorations we had gotten for our tree. In many ways this was when he regained his childlike innocence.

Alik held up one of the ornaments, dangling it as he looked at it curiously. It was a golden ornament, spiral shaped, and had a distinctive look like webbing. "What's this, Uncle Tony? It looks like a spider's web."

Tony and I had bought them after the Christmas Season a year ago, so Alik was seeing it for the first time.

"That's because it is a spider's web," I said.

Tony gave Alik an exaggerated look of astonishment. "You're Russian, right?"

"Yes." Alik grinned. "What does the spider's web on the Christmas Tree have to do with my being Russian?"

"Because the Christmas Spider is Russian!" Tony said loud, making Alik smile. Tony hugged Alik to himself. "You poor neglected young man." He looked up and shouted. "Sasha! Do you mind if I tell him the story of the Russian Christmas Spider? Or do you want to?"

Sasha was sorting the long lengths if lights for the tree. He looked at Tony and chuckled, "Help yourself." He turned. "David! You might want to listen. Do you know of the Christmas Spider?"

David was also going through some of our decorations. His eyebrows grew nearer together in confusion, "I know of a Christmas Spider, but wasn't it German?" He thought a second. "Or was that Ukraine?"

"It is Eastern European!" I growled. "It is in Russia, too." I began to get somethings together to make our lunch. "That's why we bought them...because Alik's Russian."

Sasha chuckled again as he shrugged, "He's only had seven Christmases. Somethings must have slipped by him."

Tony nodded, "Well, today you learn about the Christmas Spider. The one I like is the poor widow with small children who didn't know how they would survive the winter as they couldn't afford food or anything to heat their house with. Still, she put a Christmas Tree up and she and the children hung ornaments they made because they couldn't afford ornaments bought. God saw their tree but saw what was really in their hearts. He had spiders go in the tree and weave these elaborate weds. When the sun rose Christmas Morning and the light shown on the webbing," he paused for dramatic effect, "the weds had turned to gold and silver. The widow could from that day afford food and could buy coal to heat her house all winter long and for the rest of her life!"

David grinned, "I thought..."

"Ep!" Tony interrupted holding a finger up stopping David. "That's the story the lady from Ukraine, who sold those to us told us." He waved his hands in helplessness. "The story happened so long ago, who will we fact check it with? For all I know Sasha and Alik are the story's children's great grandchildren! It was the Italian version of the Christmas Spider! Okay?" He said loud causing Alik to laugh. Tony smiled at Alik. "There are lots of stories about special animals at Christmas. You know about Mitch's love of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. In Italy we have Dominic the Christmas Donkey!"

"A Christmas Donkey?" Alik asked. "Isn't that like a one of those small horses?" He looked at me. "You made friends with one on Ios."

I nodded remembering the friendly Burro that visited Tony and I on the island every morning for apples. "I did! Bucky was a sweet little friend."

Tony explained how Dominic helped Santa to deliver gifts because Santa's reindeer couldn't manage the hills in Italy.

"Wait," Alik said stopping Tony, "Wait. Why would the reindeer have problems with the hills?"

"Yeah," Sasha nodded, having listened to the story as well. "Santa's reindeer can fly. The hills shouldn't have even been a problem." He grinned.

Tony shrugged, "Maybe the roofs were too small! Have you seen some of those houses in Italy?"

It was all done in a light-hearted way and Tony was being funny. He looked at me for support.

I shrugged at Tony but said. "Tony's right. Most of the houses I saw in Italy...very few would support a sleigh and eight reindeer."

Tony's smile to me and waved at me. "See? He knows!"

"Alik and Sasha are doing what I told Sasha not to do," I shook my head, however the smile on my face was refusing to go away. "Applying logic to a story as Sasha tried with A Thousand and One Balloons."

Tony nodded, "What he just said." He clapped his hands together once. "Mitch, babe, this is the first time you'll hear me say this." He pointed to the things I pulled out. "Put that away. We're going out for pizza!"

I was literally stunned. "Are you feeling okay, Tony?"

Tony grinned, "I feel fine. Why?"

"Because from the day I met you," I walked over to him and felt his forehead, "you have never approved of any pizza made by anyone that wasn't you." I sighed as I lowered my hand to his forehead. "You don't have a fever..."

"No," Tony chuckled. "I didn't want a pizza made by some non-Italian kids named Biff, Buffy or Skippy making a pizza at a job they have after Algebra class in High School." He held up his hands. "Besides, I have tree sap on me. Italian da Roma had some real good Italian meals last night. We'll see if they can do pizza!" He thumbed over his shoulder toward Sasha. "He's buying."

Sasha's eyes widened. "I am?"

David nodded. "We are. They bought last time. Why not? Besides, it's lunch! How much can it be?"

"Maybe I'll have a calzone!" I said.

"What's a calzone?" Alik asked me.

"You'll see." Tony grinned hugging Alik to himself briefly again.

We went back to Italian da Roma. This time there were no valets, but parking wasn't too bad. To our delight Clark was there from having waited on us the night before.

"Back again so soon!" Clark greeted us bypassing the hostess who was looking puzzled at first. "Welcome back, gentlemen!" He looked at the young woman. "I'm putting them at table thirty-six."

"But..." the woman began.

"I was unaware we needed reservations for lunch," Tony said as we looked back at some people waiting with one of those pager-like things that buzzed when the hostess used to let them know their table was ready.

"Not you, Mr. Delveccio!" Clark assured grabbing five menus. "You and your family are very important customers and don't need reservations for lunch!" He pointed at us. "We will always welcome you. We want to keep you." He looked at the hostess. "Don't we, Gretchen? They were here last night! I told you this morning about them." The way he told her, she had to remember.

Her eyes widened, "Oh! Those people! These are them?" She pointed at us.

"Yes, they are!" Clark nodded. "Remember their faces. They really don't need reservations."

"Well..." Tony began to protest.

"No, Mr. Delveccio," Clark insisted again. "You'll always be welcomed." He waved us to follow him. "Right this way."

"Thank you, Clark!" Tony put his arm around me as we walked behind him. "I hope your pizza and calzones are as good today." He said the word calzone with the long e at the end.

Clark turned to Tony as he walked, "I believe they are excellent, but you tell me after you have them." He led us to a more recessed table than we had last night. More private than the other one, but still close for the wait staff to get there and back. He pulled a chair back for Alik as we all sat. "Do you know what you'll want to drink, or do you want a minute?"

"No," Tony said he thumbed toward me. "Sweet tea?" There were nods all around but Sasha who asked for a beer on tap. He wasn't driving.

"Can I have that drink you gave me last night?" Alik asked.

"You sure can, my man." He looked up and pointed at Sasha and David. "If they agree."

"Sure, we do!" Sasha agreed.

"I'll get those drinks and be right back!"

After Clark left, Tony leaned forward and stage whispered to David and Sasha. "Now you understand why I tipped like I did last night." He waggled his eyebrows at them. "We made a great first impression."

David smirked, "And set a trend we have to follow."

Tony shrugged, "Only at exceptional places and this is an exceptional Italian restaurant! Whether or not you continue to do it is up to you if you want the kind of reaction we just got."

I patted Tony on the hand, "David's a McKenzie, it will take a while before he develops new eyes. It took me a while."

"True," Tony shrugged a nod. "You got there a year ago or so, right?"

"I did."

Clark came back to our table serving our drinks.

"Can we have some of those cheese puff things, Daddy David?" Alik asked David.

David looked at Alik strangely. "Your father's right there!" He pointed at Sasha.

Alik looked away from David, "Yeah, but a lot of times he says no first."

Sasha looked upset a moment as he looked at David and then Tony and me. "I don't want to be a..." he thought for a word or words. "How do I say avtoritetny tiran?"

"Clark," I said as Clark placed the last drink down. "We're going to have a touching family moment. If you come back in five minutes, we'll be ready to order. I swear."

"Sure," Clark backed away.

"A what?" Tony wasn't as good with Russian, so he looked at David and then me. "What's an avtoritetny tiran?"

David didn't understand, but I did. "Sasha, you are not an ortitsatelny avtoritetny!" I said sternly.

"Not what!?" Tony almost shouted since he didn't understand.

I pointed at Sasha, "He said he didn't want to be an authoritative tyrant." I placed a hand on my chest. "I said he wasn't even a negative authority."

Tony leaned away from me about an inch as he thought about my translation, blinked, and merely said, "Oh." It took a few more seconds before he leaned in closer to me and making up for the added distance prior by putting his face an inch or so from mt face. His finger came up to scold me or make a point...or both! "You can say you're not, but I say you're fluent in Russian."

I grinned. "Posti moget byt."

Tony nodded. "I got the almost, but I disagree with the maybe. There is no almost maybe about it." He translated what I said. He had said it loud enough Sasha, David, and Alik had heard and all were smiling at us.

"Tony," Sasha began and chuckled. "Any night now, Mitch will dream in Russian and he will be chechetka on my head." He did the lean forward like Tony had. "Chechetka means tap dancing. The dreaming in Russian means he will be fluent." He gave a shrug and nod. "So, he says."

"How can I not be?" I waved at Sasha. "It began with Sasha, then Alik, Tasha, then Ivan, and Katya..."

"Not to mention all those Russian television shows..." Sasha added.

"Saying not mention and then mentioning whatever doesn't work." I growled. Waving toward Sasha, Alik, and David. "Now back to the subject before Clark comes back."

Tony looked serious and nodded. "Sure, but first...Sasha, you are the authority with Alik, you're a father. It's your job to set limits and guidelines. When we go to New York, you'll meet my Alik. Nick is now in his mid-twenties," Tony said solemnly. "I knew I was to protect him and it was my job to set those limits, which I did...and enforce them."

Sasha looked at Alik and then back at Tony. "Did he think you always said no?"

Tony nodded, "Naturally." He shrugged and smiled. "You need to pick your points to be strict with." Tony shrugged a nod. "I had Mama and Papa to help with Nick..."

"And Kathy and Al," I reminded Tony.

"Most definitely," Tony nodded. "They had a child of their own about that time, but Mama, Papa, Kathy, and Al helped. We were all family." He pointed at Sasha. "I have paperwork on file where you signed an agreement that all at this table are your family and we'll help when we can." He jutted a finger at Sasha. "You know that! We love you." He sighed. "That doesn't mean you can't give in to Alik's desires once in a while." He hit the menu in front of him to make a point. "Like those cheese puffs! It's nearly Christmas! Will it ruin his diet? Can't he have a special occasion?"

"Yes." Sasha nodded and he looked at Alik. "Later, Daddy David, you, and I will have a talk. I don't want you to see me as someone that always says no." He said quietly and calmly to Alik.

"I think Alik will become a fine man," I smiled at Alik who was smiling.

David nodded as he agreed putting an arm around Alik. "I do, too. He's smart, calm, and not a brat..."

"Oh, no," Tony chuckled and shook his head any . "You've never struck him or even raised your voice. You may be sorely tempted in a few years when he becomes a teenager."

I nudged Tony, "Stop scaring them! Being a teenager is tough for everyone, including Alik. Tasha and Sasha gave Alik a good foundation to build on. Nick is a good man because of the foundation you began with him." I raised my menu. "Clark will be back and I know what I want."

"I don't know what I want," Alik said. "I can't read this."

"Me, either." David admitted. "Your Uncle Mitch can translate any Italian to Russian." He pointed at the menu. "Margherita Rosse? What's that?"

"Apparently, Margaret Rosse was a great cook of Italian pizza." I explained with a laugh. "They're using her recipe to make pizza and calzones!" Tony and I further explained the other things on the menu.

Once again, our meal was very good. I did get my calzone with the spicy sausage and assorted mushrooms, including truffles and had saffron! Both the truffles and the saffron are rare ingredients. Truffles are found by special pigs and considered the diamonds of the kitchen by most chefs, French or otherwise. Saffron, fresh saffron is the stigma of the Crocus flower. That was that tiny thing in the center of the blossom, but very flavorful and the fresher the more expense. Saffron was the most expensive spice in the WORLD! Italian de Roma was a gourmet restaurant, and we weren't so self-involved to think the fancy ingredients were just for us. No. Everything they used was listed on the menu. Every gravy (that's meat sauce for all the non-Italians out there, remember?) and marineras had all the ingredients listed. Was it merely a justification for the higher prices? Perhaps. They had a big pot they made the gravy and marineras putting these spices in the pot and used it with several meals. When David and Sasha decided to get a pizza they could share. What came out looked as if they had just taken it out of the oven. Sasha and David decided to let Alik had the adult portion of penne pasta and mini-meatballs. Tony approved when he saw the meatballs were made with ground pork sausage, ground beef, and ground veal. Tony even stole a meatball to test to see if it was truly Italian. He luxuriated expression on his face told the truth.

My calzone had spicy Italian sausage, mushrooms, and extra gravy. Tony had a calzone with shrimp, lobster, crab, and scallops. Both were steaming when they arrived and breaking the crust made more steam pour out! Everything was delicious!

Tony nor I saw or advised Sasha or David about the bill, but Clark's reaction to the final bill was like he had reacted the night before.

"Mr. McKenzie, Mr. Delveccio, Mr. Lebedev," Clark returned the final receipt. "I hope we have pleased with your meal again."

"Okay, Clark," I chuckled. "Since we call you by your first name, I'm Mitch..." I touched Tony, "This is my husband Tony."

When I said that, the smile on Clark's face grew a little.

David nodded, "I'm Mitch's cousin David." He smacked Sasha lightly on the arm. "And this big Russian-American is Sasha, my soon to be husband this spring and our son Alik! The bottomless pit." He motioned to Alik's empty plate as the proved the name he just gave Alik was true.

"Hi!" Alik greeted.

Sasha glanced at David and then looked back at Clark. "I noticed you seemed pleased that Mitch and Tony are married and then again upon finding out David and I are getting married. Does that mean you are like we are?"

Clark smiled. "I've dated both. I can't make up my mind."

"You don't have to." David said simply. "Find that one most important and follow that. I didn't claim to be gay or straight before." He shrugged. "I just dated. Male and female."

Clark nodded, "I hope we'll see you again."

"Count on it," Tony said confidently. "Soon we'll be heading to New York for the Holidays, but we'll be back." He waved at Sasha, Alik, and David. "I want to show these three my Manhattan."

"Manhattan!?" Clark repeated in delight. "This restaurant's parent restaurant is in Manhattan!"

"Naturally it is," I muttered.

"You know it's true!" Tony insisted and indicated our empty plates. "This was authentic Italian cooking. There is only a few I know can do it here." He held up his finger to make his point. "Amici's came from Chicago, but he cooks real Italian food."

I nodded, "After coming in through Ellis Island. His grandfather immigrated and after a couple of years in Manhattan moved to Chicago with many other Italian families! Of course, all good Italian cooking comes from New York City! That's where nearly every one of you entered the country!"

"Uh, huh," Tony grinned. "You tried to keep all the WOPs in one place."

I rolled my eyes, "And here we go again." I was pointing at him now. "I have never once even thought that! Not one of my ancestors had any papers when they got here!!" I looked at David. "Did our great grandfather or his two brothers have any documentation when they arrived in North America?"

Tony and I were being watched with amused faces by David, Sasha, and Clark as we bantered. Alik just looked confused.

David shrugged, "That was back in 1748 when they got here!! How the hell would I know!?"

I physically waved David off, "If there were papers back then the McKenzies won't remember anyway." I dismissed. "So, what about this restaurant?" I asked the chuckling Clark.

"Almost a hundred years ago Edvige Sidoti arrived at Ellis Island with her husband and infant son." Clark began. "That was early in the twentieth century...1918. They were very poor, but Edvige had her grandmother's treasure! A box of Margherita Rosse's prized recipes."

"And she was the best cook in Italy." I commented simply.

"She was!" Clark defended pointing at our empty plates. "She helped her family by cooking from their little apartment. Her son opened a restaurant in the mid-twenties and barely made it in during the Depression. He offered inexpensive meals during that time to the many Italians there. He became a success by the forties and during the war. His son and daughter continued the restaurant and expanded. His great grandson owns this one, but has stayed true to his great, great grandmother's recipes!"

"And doing a damned fine job!!" Tony declared. "I will guarantee we'll be back!"

"I've seen this movie and read the book, too." I muttered and smirked. "Do you deliver? We're less than a mile away over there. Essex?" I waved in the direction of the condo.

Clark nodded, "For select clientele, yes." He smiled at us. "That's you!"

"What's a WOP?" Alik's eyebrows were practically knitting together. "Isn't that when you hit someone?"

Tony chuckled, "Hitting someone is a whop, a WOP is short for Without Papers. My grandparents were kept in their by people who called them that."

"We'll explain later," David assured.

"There are mean and stupid people out there," Sasha said. "I don't want you to become one."

"I won't." Alik resolved that issue right there.

I looked at Tony, "You have the same papers I do. A birth certificate. Even Sasha and Alik have papers and will get new ones when they become citizens." I grinned pulling him closer putting our foreheads together. "I love this American-Italian." I kissed him.

"I know," Tony said. "I love this American-Scotsman."

I would always go back to the health crisis and having this restaurant so close I'd order from here every day as long as Tony could eat. The medicines he could take to ease the pain so he could swallow also reduced much of his ability to taste. His tastebuds were in his mouth, but the radiation would literally burn away the cancer in his esophagus. There was a diluted form of aloe vera he could gargle with the could give some ease discomfort. There were other medications that he could be prescribed, but those affected how he could taste. He loved the food here so much. If I could get him something he could taste just a little bit I would do it over and over again. I would be prepared. I wasn't losing him.

He was here and could eat now, but it played with my thoughts.

We got back to the condo and Tony pulled me aside away from the others. "As we have been together these years," he began softly, but seriously. "We can read each other pretty well. What are you thinking about?"

I sighed, but we did promise to be honest. "I was thinking about you." That would be obvious. "I am glad Italian da Roma is so close." I placed a hand on his chest. "They are going to scorch the inside of your throat, Tony. I will do all I can to make sure you eat and stay here!" I pointed to the floor. "I was thinking of the medications Dr. Keogh will probably give to make it easier. You may not be able to taste a lot. If I can get you something from Italian da Roma you can taste just a little bit. I'll do it. To hell with the cost!! You're going to win this!" I sighed again. His eyebrows were going up slowly. "Even if they have to put a feeding tube in you, you will win this!!" I said quietly, but firmly. Now his smile was spreading over his face. "If I have to get a tube myself, we go through this together. Capiche?" (Everyone knows the Italian word for comprehend.) I even did the hand movement with my right hand.

"Sei Italiano!!" Tony grinned.

"Damned right!" I nodded. "I most definitely am Italian! Do you doubt that?"

He hugged me. "Not a bit." He pushed me back a little. "After the six months...and I know I'll be declared cancer free...you and I are going on a cruise. I don't care what ship or even where."

"Deal." I nodded. "You'll still be healing after the six months."

"Where better to heal?" Tony said happily. "The warm, salty air, delicious meals, everybody kissing my butt." He tapped on my chest. "We're going!" He shrugged. "Even if we just get back and the Queen Mary becomes available, we go on her again! Or even in the middle of the cruise we're on, we go!"

"As long as we stick together," I nodded, "Absolutely. I love you."

Tony hugged me tighter. "I know. I love you."

"I know."

Have you ever gone clothes shopping with a child? Even a low-keyed boy approaching eight? I sat with Sasha as Tony brought another coat over to Alik.

"Here," Tony handed David the coat. "Have him try this one on."

"Why am I doing this?" Alik asked either David or his Uncle Tony. He was trying to not sound bored, but you heard it loud and clear.

"Because it's cold in New York," Tony explained nodding and looking at what was nearby. "You'll need something for when we first get there." He shrugged. "Of course, once we're there, there are dozens of stores in Manhattan to go to." He pointed at the coat David was holding. "This looks like the coats your Dad and Dad David will be getting."

Sasha looked a little surprised. "We are?"

I nodded and laughed, "Yep."

"There's a dress code in Manhattan?" David asked.

"Yes," I nodded again. "And no one knows that code better than Tony."

Sasha just grunted and leaned closer to me and asked quietly. "How is Tony?"

I shrugged. "He's scared but thinking positively. As positive as the doctor is about it, there is the danger." I laughed, but not at anything funny. The weight of the situation was pressing on me and felt. "I'm scared. Tony's overcompensating, but if it helps him cope with it..." I shrugged again. "Who's going to be hurt?"

"How are you doing?" Sasha asked.

"I'm not fine," I admitted. "I won't be fine until this is far behind us."

"He has a very good chance of beating this." Sasha said.

"Yes," I agreed. "He does, but we've lost two recently in their battles with cancer."

Sasha's brows came together. "His father chose not to fight his cancer. You said it was too late for him because it had spread too far to treat. His mother died from a reaction to the chemo." His head shook as he grudged a shrugged, "Hers was due to her age. Tony's younger and in great shape!"

"I know," I began and gave a shrugging nod. "Kathy, Tony's sister who is a nurse, told me cancer is in his family on both sides. His mother's father died of a heart attack but had cancer beginning in his body. Her mother had cancer. Angelo's mother got cancer and his aunt. His family history has many cases, and they may be Catholic, but there aren't that many people on either side."

"The McKenzies have the numbers," Sasha said. "None of them have had to deal with cancer?"

"Oh, sure," I nodded. "The cancer they've had to deal with happened because of something they did, such as not covering up in the sun or smoking. We have high blood sugar issues, potential strokes, and congestive heart failure...arthritis, rheumatism...just sit in the main room where the adults always gather, you'll hear every ailment they had over and over again." I sighed. "The McKenzies try to prepare themselves for bad news but..."

Sasha got a compassionate look and put his arm around me. "Mitch, you can't see things this way. Tony has a good chance of winning this..."

I nodded again, "Yes, and we're going to give him every possibility to be victorious." I hugged Sasha. "This is what I need! Someone to talk to and vent with. That's you and David."

Sasha hugged me tighter. "That's what friends who are family does." He released me briefly. "David and I will always be here for you. I promise."

"Make sure you are!" I said as Tony came with another coat! He handed it to David. "You guys are getting it easy!"

"Easy?" Sasha asked. "How is this easy?"

I patted Sasha's arm. "There isn't enough time to rush you off to New York just for clothes or even better...Milan!" I was about to get up. "When we go to New York, Tony doesn't want to scare his son, his sister or brother-in-law. Al is a doctor and Kathy is a nurse with a master's degree. They also know Tony and may sense a problem." I pointed at Tony. "He needs to be the one to tell them about this. There shouldn't be a problem but watch what you say around them." I laughed remembering Melissa. "Beware of our niece Melissa. She's had a longtime hero-worshipping love affair with her Uncle Tony. She's extremely outspoken and will zero in on any vulnerability she senses. She's honed her skills and will use yours to get any information she wants. Don't tell her anything."

Sasha grinned, "She sounds like what the KGB was like!"

"She could make them cry!" I rose and looked at Tony and looked back at Sasha. "He will get all I have to support him. I will remain positive and if he gets something by buying. We will let him! We're not letting him go." I smiled. "I'm not letting him go!" I walked over to David, Alik, and Tony. "Tony, baby..." I put a hand on Tony's shoulder, "Alik does need a coat for when we get to Manhattan." I held up a single finger. "One coat." I reminded. "David is a greenhorn where it comes to fashion."

"What's a greenhorn?" Alik asked.

I held the sleeve of one of the coats, "Who made this?" I asked Alik and David.

Alik shrugged, "I don't know. This store?"

David also shrugged. "Ralph Lauren...I think."

"That makes you new to this world," I chuckled and turned to Tony. "You knew."

"Sure, I know," Tony nodded. "That's why I brought it over."

"See?" I said motioning toward Tony. "He's an expert in the fashion world and knows it backwards and foreword. While I'm nowhere near his level, I now know who Gucci, Armani, and Dolce is and can spot their fashions better. He knows!" I smiled at Tony. "We get a coat for Alik his fathers approve of and then hit Fifth Avenue when we get there."

Tony nodded. "Yes, the selection here is very limited."

"Saks tried to make it here, but it had trouble getting the business for children and men." I handed the coat to David. "I think they still sell fashion for women, but that's all now."

Tony grunted, "Just like the lack of valets. Charleston needs to catch up with the rest of the civilized world." He grumbled.

"That will take time." I chuckled.

Tony blew a disgusted breath. "I wish they hurry up."

Cancer. It is an evil, living monster. I know, you've read where we are going to deal with it and whatever we have to do to destroy it. Defeat it completely. Why do I keep harping on it? Because it can't be ignored. It taints everything we do...it tainted everything I did. It was everywhere!! My thinking was tainted almost every moment. Let me give an example. When Sasha and I were in that accident. Before that everything was normal. I certainly wasn't thinking about possibly dying! In a matter of seconds, mere minutes, we were hit and nearly died. Sasha did die! We got him back, but now...we are standing on train tracks...there were a series of train tracks running beside us beside us on both sides. We were told a train was coming. I used the analogy of the horse and saddle, but the saddle was found. Now the train is coming. We can't see the train yet. The horizon was clear. There is a distant blare of a train's horn telling you the train was coming. We knew danger was coming, but what do we do? Were we on the track the train was coming down? Would moving over to one of the other tracks help? Would that put us in the path of the train then? We had to do something! What? Remaining where we were might be the right thing and we wouldn't be hit at all. However, the bottom line was the train was coming! The blaring sound was a constant reminder we were potentially in danger. There was an elephant in the room and it couldn't be ignored. I know, another idiom, but it was very appropriate. Causes are important, but people don't become true crusaders for causes until it hits you or someone you love. Paint a big red circle on us for we were now targets and I wanted it gone! Destroyed and out of our lives. You'll see my thoughts often go to how to deal with the cancer.

So, back to our lives, but I wouldn't pretend everything was normal. It wasn't normal. I would not and could not lie to Tony. We promised to be honest with each other and I would tell him what I felt. I knew he would be honest with me. We would get through this. I would get through this. Tony would live, but how long? Cancer could be a battle that lasts a long time. In the meantime, we would live.

Moscow was a little farther north than Manhattan, but I doubted we could feel much difference. Manhattan being nearer to the Atlantic Ocean made the air damper. I'd have to experience both before I can talk with any authority on that subject. Alik had a couple of coats he wore in Moscow and Tasha had gotten them larger so he could grow into them. That was two years ago! He had grown into them and beyond! Alik would have the size Sasha has when he became an adult. He did get a coat that looked very grownup. Sasha and David also got coats from another store. After that, then we went back to the condo.

As we had Italian food for dinner and lunch, I insisted I'd cook our dinner. I opted to make grand...mother's and mom's chicken potpie. It had everything in one pot. Vegetables such as green beans. (I didn't care for beans in general or peas. Butterbeans? No way. No beans in my chili either.) There were also carrots and potatoes. It didn't take long before I had it in the oven and had forty-five minutes to an hour to wait for it to finish.

Tony was having fun telling Alik some stories about some Christmas stories from Italy.

"You had La Befana and Babbo Natale bring you presents?" Alik asked as they were back to sorting the ornaments again. "Did you get more presents?"

Tony smiled. "You sort of double your chances of getting that one present you really want...if you were good enough."

Alik cocked his head and squinted an eye at Tony. "Oh, come on, Uncle Tony. I know about Ded Moroz." He looked at Sasha. "I never heard of what Uncle Tony said, have you, Dad?"

Sasha shook his head. "It must just be for Italian children." He smiled at Tony.

Tony was having a good time. It had been a while since Nick was this age.

David came over and stood with me as I watched Tony with Alik and Sasha. "Tony's good with children." He turned and smiled at me. "You know Sasha and I talk."

"I hope so," I chuckled. "It makes marriage so much better if you communicate and do it honestly."

"You know what I mean," David growled, but smiled. "We're here for you. We'll do whatever we need to so he has a few grandchildren to entertain." He turned and sighed. "Now, Alik has a week of school left. Next weekend, Sasha, Alik, and I were going to Mom's and Dad's. We don't want to leave you alone." He said sadly.

"That's fine." I looked at him carefully. "What's wrong?"

"It's Michael." David admitted. "He'll be there. Alone."

"Still alone?" I asked sadly. You didn't need writing on the wall to know what was happening. I touched David. "He loved her."

David nodded. "He loved her, but I think all she loved was the wedding. It was very extravagant, elaborate, and dripped money. You'd think she was royalty. She thinks she is royalty. The McKenzies fall short."

I pulled David into a hug. "He needs his twin." I pushed him back a little. "If you're needed more and can't go to New York..."

"Oh, no!" David declared. "I'll be there for Michael, but he made his own decision, and I will be there to help him, but we are going to New York!"

"Okay," I nodded. "But Michael is your twin. He might need you."

David nodded, "Is that what we are!? I thought we just had a broken mirror!" David laughed at his sarcasm.

A swift slap to the back of his head told him what I thought. It didn't hurt him and he smiled bigger at me. "He and a buddy are going away at Christmas, so he was visiting them early. His friend was one of his groomsmen and will help Michael get over Sherry."

"What's the problem?" I asked. "Do you know?"

David shrugged, "I don't know. Sherry wanted a perfect wedding. What we wore, where we stood...she was spoiled. Daddy gave her whatever she wanted."

"Weddings are all about the bride," I reasoned. "Little girls dream of their weddings all their lives."

"All of us up there were simply props that she arranged," David growled bitterly.

"I wouldn't know," I said. "Tony and I didn't get an invitation."

David nodded quickly, "Another mistake she made." He tapped each of the next words on my chest with his finger gently. "Michael should have insisted you were." He smiled. "All I know is he will be my Best Man at my wedding."

"Just remember," I began. "He's a victim."

"I didn't tell him about Sasha before introducing Sasha to all the McKenzies, including Michael." David grudged a shrug. "He didn't tell me about Sherry. Part of me thinks he deserves it." He saw my surprised look and raised a hand to stop my protest he knew was coming. "I know, I know. That's mean, but it's how I feel." He leaned in to divulge a secret, as if we weren't already talking privately. "We fought sometimes."

The way he said it, I knew he wasn't talking about verbal disagreements. "Really? There were many times I believed you two spoke telepathically. You two were always so in sync. It was often scary."

David chuckled as he nodded. "And we were and are...most of the time. We started out as one cell!" He said happily. "I remember being I second grade when we really understood what that meant." He shook his head. "One sperm and one egg just like everyone else, only ours divided into two and became two individuals instead of one!!" He patted my arm and chest in excitement. "We are exactly alike!"

"Well," I began. "There are some differences..."

"That you can see!" David stressed. "Mom and Dad can, Gary and Sue can, but Sherry couldn't!!"

I know my head went back a little. "Nooo." It was hard to believe. David's face was slightly...thicker? Just a fraction wider. They were simply different!

"Yes." David said. "She was always confusing us. It would make her so mad!"

"And that pleases you?"

"It does!" David admitted. "Now, Michael and I only fought three times where it came to blows. I don't even remember what they were about, but I remember he made me sooo angry! It never lasted more than a few minutes and then we were so sorry." He shook his head. "My point is...he is important. I will support him, but you are important, too. So is Tony. I will be there for you and Tony. Mostly you."

I nodded hugging him. "Thank you."