North Meets South

¿Story: North Meets South: When World's Collide

Chapter: 18 The Queen

Author: Eric McQueen (mcqueen.richarderic@gmail.com)

Mature Readers only due to sexual situations and graphic sexual content

Freedom of expression is precious. To do that Nifty needs help. Your donation is greatly desired. Give to http://donate.nifty.org/ or this story ends and all the others! That would be a crime!

Mitch and Tony get some troubling news, but have to wait for the results. They get a real chance for a dream to come true.

The Queen

We flew to New York. That was pretty great for me because I hadn't seen Nick in nearly a year! I wanted to see Kathy and Al. Our nephew David would be staying in Tony's late parents' home with Nick. I wished Melissa was going to be there. I promised I wouldn't give Tony a hard time about spending money when purchasing things for our real trip. That would be in Milan I told myself. We were going to New York. He was buying something there so we could go to Italy to buy more. Did that made sense? I knew better in my head. This time, Tony wanted me to have the "real" New York experience. We flew into Newark, New Jersey. It was only when I looked to my left as we descended I realized what I was seeing was Manhattan. It wasn't as big as before to me, but that would change after we landed. There was the air train to Penn Station and that was an experience. Nothing moved slowly here. If I lost contact with Tony, I was sunk. He kept his hand in mine as we moved in and out with what Tony had was practiced ease. Then there were the delays and more. I got to see more of Long Island as more than just Queens. To me, it was one big neighborhood, but at last, we arrived in Babylon. I let out a sigh when it was time to get off.

"This is exhausting!" I moaned.

Tony chuckled bringing me into a hug as we walked. "And not for the faint of heart."

"Well, I won't be able to go solo for a while," I muttered looking back as the train moved on.

"Probably not." Tony nodded as we descended to the ground. He looked for someone. "Nick or David should be here." Then he waved at someone. "There he is."

Our nephew David greeted with a wave motioning toward a white car he stood beside.

"Nick's at home watching a game." David greeted sourly. "We did rock, paper, scissors to see who came to get you."

Tony grinned. "You lost?"

David grinned. "I didn't lose. I got to come!" He looked down at our rolling bags. "We didn't know how much luggage you brought and feared there wouldn't be enough room for the other."

I chuckled. "Nice try, but a good save!"

David shrugged. "It's the playoffs!" Asking, who could blame him?

Tony chuckled. "You have to have priorities."

David nodded. "That's right."

The ride back to the Delveccio home was short. It was just a few streets over. That was a house I knew. Entering I grinned. It had been occupied by two men in their twenties and it looked like it. It wasn't dirty but cluttered. Tony was about to say something when Nick rose from a chair where he was watching something.

"Dads!" Nick greeted coming to hug us. "Welcome back!"

Tony frowned as he looked around a room that was lived in by two young men. "Your grandmother is rolling in her grave!"

Nick looked where his father was looking. "Why?" He didn't see what the problem was.

"Your grandmother kept this place spotless! She did the kitchen floor everyday..."

David, Nick, and even I knew this one. "...on her knees!" We all completed with a chuckle.

Tony grinned at me. "I see you have been paying attention."

"In both English and Italian!" I said happily.

"Is our room still clean, at least?" Tony asked gruffly, but it was more out of fun than irritation.

Nick sort of shrugged. "Well..." he hurried on. "We didn't use Grandpa's or Grandma's room...so I kind of used it. It's clean...mostly." He grinned.

"Mostly?" Tony asked.

Upstairs in what had been Tony's room...it wasn't dirty, but it was cluttered. Tony sighed as he began straightening up. I helped him get things back to where they belonged.

"It could have been much worse," I said softly. "It will be fine. He's just...young."

Tony nodded as he continued. "We all were once."

It was that evening we saw Kathy and Al. It was the weekend and Melissa came as well! She'd matured! Sort of. When she saw Tony she smiled at him. The mischievous little girl was in her eyes.

"Uncle Tony!" Melissa said throwing herself on Tony. "It's been ages!" Turning to me, she hugged me just as hard. "Hi, Uncle Mitch."

The gang was almost all here and the conversation blew up. There were the many conversations at once, to which now I was used to and kept up with no problem.

"It's nice of you two to take time from your world of jet setting to come up and see us." Kathy chuckled as she put the ever-present macaroni and gravy on the table with the other things typical Italians ate.

"One day, that will be me," Melissa said with confidence and then sighed. "Stop off in New York before you pop over to Milan to buy for your trip to Australia."

Tony chuckled. "I have no doubt about you, Melissa."

"Is there anyone in the picture we should know about?" I asked her. "Anyone we should have a talking to before it's too late?"

Melissa grinned shaking her head. "No, not at all. It's not that I don't date, but right now, I don't need to be tied down." She did her wave around the room. "There's a big world out there and I intend to see as much as I can."

Tony nodded as she sat beside him. "It will be there, but it's so much better to see it with someone special." He grinned looking at me and leaned toward me kissing me lightly. "It can be quite nice having someone to share it with."

Melissa smiled. "I didn't say I'd be alone."

It was later I watched as we ate and saw Tony struggle slightly as he swallowed again. I knew of Tony's achalasia and it didn't bother me too much, but Tony's father had it and I was told that was a reason he'd gotten cancer that killed him. I did as I always did. I put my hand in Tony's as he swallowed. Tony grinned at me and as always, neither of us said a word about it but kept on with the family.

It was later in our bedroom as we were getting ready for bed I mentioned anything it. "Will you get screened before we go to New Zealand and Australia?"

Tony sighed as he sat down on the bed. "I'll get it done." He said, but I wasn't convinced.

"I'll go with you."

Tony didn't look at me. "I know you will, but I can't put my life on hold for this thing that may or may not be in my future."

This was a subject that needed to be addressed lightly with Tony. "The chances of it being in your future is greater than mine. At least this one. You're just like your father. You don't complain and...I don't want to lose you." I sat beside him and slipped my arms around him. "If you do get cancer, if we catch it early, we can defeat it. Your father waited until it was too late. I won't lose you."

Tony nodded sadly. "One of us is going to lose the other eventually." He shrugged.

"I'd like to grow old with you, Tony," I said softly. "If we see it coming, perhaps we can do something about it."

Tony smiled a little weakly but nodded. "I'll schedule a screening before we go to New Zealand." He bumped his forehead against mine. "I promise." He kissed me tenderly. "I love you, Mitch."

I smiled as he said that. "I know."

We caught a show on Broadway and shopped a little, but enjoyed being with the family mostly and flew back to Charleston.

The trip to Milan came up and this time, we didn't come to Rome but flew directly to Milan. This trip was taking several days as we shopped and you know I hate shopping. I put up with Mr. Perfection as he brought me things to try on. That, I really hated, but Tony was happy doing it, so why not? The great thing was we weren't taking anything home. It was all being shipped to Charleston. I couldn't keep track of what all we bought, but Tony was extremely excited about it all.

Once back in Charleston, I mentioned Tony's promise and he made the appointment. One of the other things about Charleston, we had hospitals. We had the Medical University of Charleston which was a large educational complex for medicine and two major hospitals combined and became a big hospital. There was one hospital that specialized in cancer. There we met Dr. George Keogh and he was a very nice doctor. He was a kind man in his late thirties whose dark head of hair was parting a little more than necessary. He was losing his hair, but it was mostly still on top of his head. The fact Tony and I considered ourselves married never bothered this doctor. It seemed to make the doctor realize we had a strong relationship. To be safe and to make Tony feel better I even had myself screened. Cancer wasn't just a Delveccio problem. In the doctor's office, he sat down with a smile to me.

"Your screening came back fine." Then he looked at Tony which he was not happy about what he was going to say. "You, however, there are some suspicious growths we need to look at. Whether they are cancerous will take a more thorough exam to be sure."

That was a knife in my heart. "We need to get it done, then."

Dr. Keogh chuckled. "You can still go on your trip, but we should look at it when you get back." He nodded as he shrugged. "It could be nothing."

Tony frowned. "And it could be cancer."

Dr. Keogh held his hand up. "One thing at a time. Go, enjoy your trip and we'll tackle this when you get home." He smiled. "Okay?

I smiled, but not happy. "You'll understand if this sort of puts a damper on that a little."

On the way home, Tony was quiet.

"Talk to me, Tony," I said to Tony at last as we walked in the condo.

"Talk about what?" Tony asked deep in thought.

"Tell me what you're thinking," I said looking at him at the kitchen counter. "What are you feeling?"

He shook his head. "I don't know!" He said a little loud as he threw his hands up in frustration. "I heard him and I'm scared. This could be it!"

Walking over I put my arms around him. "It could be. But he wasn't sure, let's locate the saddle before we seek problems riding the horse."

His eyes grew and then he smiled. "Is that one of those Southernisms?"

"It's a Mitchism." I corrected. "Let's find out what we're dealing with before we start fighting the unknown." I urged holding him closer. "He doesn't know. We shouldn't plan a funeral without knowing."

He chuckled. "You're right." He kissed me.

"I'll be right here with you," I assured Tony. "We vowed in sickness and health. I live up to my promises. We do this together."

"But we say nothing to anyone else yet." He said holding a finger up to me. "Until we know. Okay?"

I shrugged. "There's nothing to tell yet."

Plans for the new house went forward and the bridge was fixed. The pipes were next and wiring for the house. I did volunteer for a few causes and was surprised by how busy I could be. The trip was getting closer and things were more chaotic. What we'd gotten in Milan had to be packed. Three weeks on a ship was a lot of clothes! It would be Spring and Summer there. It would be warm. To save time and money, we shipped much ahead of us. The same would be done coming back. Those extra luggage costs on a plane were expensive!

Sasha and David were planning their wedding and all was going well there. They decided to have a ship wedding with the understanding we weren't to come along for the cruise. It made sense. They were doing an Alaskan Cruise. Family, if they wanted to come would come. It was a little costly for many McKenzies so not many would come because of that. That was Sasha's and David's plan. It would be spring again in the Northern Hemisphere when the wedding happened and promised a few days of almost nothing but sunshine. I mean the sun didn't set too much that time of year that far north.

I kept things light, but that specter of cancer was right in the shadows now and weighing on me even though I tried not to think about it. It wasn't real yet, but it never left my mind. Dr. Keogh wasn't alarmed, just cautious and I know it played on Tony's mind, too. He kept things upbeat, but I could see it.

We left for Sydney. We would begin there and take the ship toward New Zealand, cruise around there and then around Australia for the rest of the cruise.

When we arrived in Sydney, I was exhausted! Tony and I collapsed on the bed or our suite at the hotel we booked before we boarded.

"That..." Tony moaned softly. "...was a long flight."

I grinned rolling on top of him. "We're on the other side of the world! Of course, it's a long flight."

"But it will be the best trip!" Tony brightened. "Everyone tells me, this is quite a ship!"

Jet lag kicked was a real thing now and we almost didn't wake up to get on the ship.

Tony was right. This was quite a ship! It just oozed being regal. Elegant. That black hull on the water and the Sydney Opera House off the port bow. Walking up the gangplank I took Tony's hand and no one seemed to notice or care.

"I feel snobby," I said sourly to Tony.

Tony chuckled. "It comes with the price of the ticket." He shrugged. "Call it a perk."

"Oh."

Tony was not undone. We had a grand stateroom! Two floors! There was the lower portion with a living area that had the couch and chair. The upper section with the king sized bed and there were balconies off the bedroom and living room! There were three people in our suite all in black like butlers.

"Forgive us, Mr. Delveccio, Mr. McKenzie." A black-suited man said as he pointed to our rolling luggage. "We'll be gone in a moment. Your other things arrived and we took the liberty of unpacking."

I hadn't anticipated that and looked at Tony surprised.

Tony looked at me shrugging. "Thank you."

My eyes widened. "How will I know where things are?" I asked Tony.

Tony grinned with a shrug. "Look." Then he pulled me aside. "And I will remind you, you're on vacation. Remember? Vacation?"

I nodded with a grin. "I've had a few."

"One more thing." The steward said. "Anything you need to be laundered just put in the special closet inside the upstairs closet. It will be cleaned. Also, if you need something pressed for the evening, put that in there, too. Just push the button for service and someone will be happy to do it for you. Enjoy the Queen Mary." Then the man bowed slightly and left!

Tony turned me around. "This is going to be the cruise of a lifetime."

For some reason, being brave all this time, his comment hit me wrong. "No! It won't be." I said angrily, I guess I was a little more sensitive about the possibilities than I realized. "We'll have others! I won't let anything happen to you!" Then, and I didn't just do this, but I was upset as my vision blurred. "I'm not letting you go!"

Tony was shocked at the angry words and stepped back a little before he understood what I said and grabbed me in a tight hug. "I didn't mean that baby, I swear." He assured me, holding me tighter.

But somehow the flood gates opened and I couldn't help it. He might be sick and there was nothing I could do. I felt helpless!

"I'm still here, Mitch," Tony assured again softly as he rocked us both slowly. "I didn't mean anything except this will be fun, and it will be." He kissed me deeply and then pushed me back. "As you said, we don't know. When we do, we'll deal with it." He hugged me again. "Know this, I don't intend to die. We will do what we need to." He pushed me back and I saw he was crying now. "I know I won't be alone. You won't let me do this by myself."

What was wrong with me!? He was the one that might be sick. He was comforting me? I pulled him closer even still. "I'm sorry, Tony. I don't know where that came from. You shouldn't be comforting me."

Tony grinned as he caressed my back. "That's what mated partners do. Our roles are going through some changes and you may be comforting me next. We're here for each other and always will be." He smiled kissing me. "You kind of like me."

I shook my head. "I do, but I love you, Tony. I'm sorry, this could be nothing." I shrugged.

Tony kissed me gently. "I know you love me. I'm not leaving." He smiled. "We're on the Queen Mary!"

What I was pleased with when the muster drills were done an hour before we left. Tony and I got our life vests and reported to our assigned area near where we would go if there was an emergency. This was mandatory on every passenger ship. After that was done, the ship was ours. We did the departure from a deck above and waved. If you've never been on a cruise, you've seen on TV where people line the railings and wave to people known and unknown as they left. There were many other boats in the harbor, even one of those boats used to fight a fire on ships by using the water already there. This time it was just spewing water up like water fireworks creating these arches of water wishing us off and perhaps wishing they could come, too. With the blast of this great ship's air horn, the ship began to move slowly. I had been on a cruise ship, but this wasn't a party boat. The Allure of the Seas was big, but so was the Queen Mary! The Queen Mary 2 had wide corridors and red patterned carpets ran through the ship. While many ships were well traveled, this one wasn't showing any wear. Nothing rattled or squeaked. We had come on board while a chamber group played violins and harp and the feeling was to create one of elegance. This would be almost too stuffy, but it was relaxing. Now, we had begun the trip and those many boats following us out of the harbor like a flock of birds. Tony was very happy and couldn't stop smiling as we sailed. He pulled me in front of him as he rested his cheek against my head as we stood at the railing watching as we left the harbor to the open waters. He kept his arms around me from behind he rested himself against me not giving a thought about whether anyone would see and be upset by it. "I want you to be open about what you feel, Mitch," Tony said as he pressed his lips to the back of my head. "We've always been truthful and never held anything back from each other." I turned around to face him. "I'm sorry for that outburst." He smiled at me. "You had a reaction to what's happening and you care about me. I know that. Whenever you feel something, talk to me about it. Don't apologize for caring. I know you do." "And you do the same," I said emphasizing each word. "No holding back." Tony nodded and his face got a serious look. "I'm scared, Mitch. I have growths in my chest. The problem is I don't know if it's cancer or not. I believe if it isn't, it will be soon. I hate not knowing about it as I hate knowing it's there." I was beginning to object when he put a finger on my lips. "Not done," Tony said smiling bigger. "I don't know what's going to happen, but I know you'll be there. This is like the story about that pendulum thing swinging lower and lower to slice a person in half, only I can only hear the pendulum, I can't see it." He leaned in kissing me gently as the wind whipped his hair. "I need you. I need you to be honest and tell me what's going through your mind. I'll tell you." He waved at the ship. "For the next twenty plus days, this will be our world. I've wanted to do this for years!" He chuckled. "I put my name on a waiting list saying when. This ship is booked years in advance." I chuckled. "You've been planning this for years!?" "I had to!" Tony defended with a grin. "I put when we wanted to go and this came up." He shrugged. "This unknown about what I've got will worry both of us. I don't want to die. I'll do whatever is needed to stop that from happening. It could be easy. It could also be very difficult, but I know you'll be with me. Just be honest. Agreed?" "I agree." A man came by carrying a tray. "Champagne?" He offered some tall glasses of bubbling liquid. Tony took one and handed it to me. "Why not?" He took one for himself. "There will be other vacations, Mitch, but drink to what I promise will be a trip we will never forget." I touched my glass to his. "To the trip we will never forget." You had to drink after that, but I loved Tony and this was making him happy, so I drank to our trip, but secretly I promised to not breakdown again and be whatever strength he needed in the future. I looked at the receding coastline. "So, what's our first stop?" Tony chuckled. "We'll cruise for three days and our first stop is Doubtful Sound, New Zealand. This stop will be more your style than mine. A lot of nature. Wilderness isn't really my thing. There isn't a lot of development there, but very wet as it's a rainforest or something. A lot of nature!" I grinned as I bumped his head with mine gently. "That sounds perfect."

Tony always insisted on a late seating for dinner. Just before it was time, I was dressed and waiting downstairs to which Tony had insisted. Tonight was our first dinner on board so I put on a suit and waited for Tony to finish dressing. "Well?" Tony asked coming down the stairs. At the bottom of the stairs, he did a little turn holding his arms out for me to see him. He was so handsome. His natural, slightly darker color and the dark dress suit was perfection. His hair was in place and he tugged at his shirt sleeve from under his coat sleeve. I chuckled as I approached him. "Hubba, hubba." Walking up to him I put my arms around him. "Tony Delveccio, you are an amazing human being. I'm so glad we married." I caught his scent. "Wearing that cologne could get you in trouble." Tony smiled even bigger. "I'm counting on it." He said returning the kiss. "I love you, Mitch. This is all about us. We don't have either Davids, Sasha, Alik, Nick...it's just us. For the next three weeks, there is no one else." He kissed me deeply. "I love you, Mitch." He held his arm out to me. "Shall we go?" The whole feeling changed from that moment on during the trip. The problems we could and would face were put to the side and pressures were gone. Neither Tony or I cared if people saw and approved or didn't. We did get a few stares, but I like to think that was because we were such snappy dressers, but the reactions we saw were pleased. We walked the wide corridor and boarded the elevator and rode down to the deck level for the Britannia Restaurant where others gathered to enter. We sat with others assigned to the same table, but our table was in the center of the lower floor, the ceiling high above with lighted glass in colors cast a soft light over all the diners. Unlike the other ship, these tables weren't crowded to generate more revenue with more passengers. There was enough space so that passengers and wait staff could walk easily. Behind us was a glass mural of the ship. This wasn't a gay cruise, nor was there a gay group we were with, so the other guests at the table were not like us. There were three other couples at our table. One couple wasn't happy with the seating arrangements as we made no attempt to hide Tony and I were not just friends traveling together when we came still arm in arm, but there was a middle-aged American couple from the mid-west had the problem and spoke with one of the staff demanding to see someone in charge. I guessed about the mid-west from the accent. I wasn't judging at first, but I'd been with Tony a while and...everyone here was dressed nicely. It wasn't even a formal night, but ladies mostly wore dresses and the men were either in suits or had on jackets, but this man and his wife...he had on a pullover shirt and she wore a blouse and pants. I was seeing the example of pigs in clothes. They may have saved for this trip, but I don't believe they were ready for the opulence and more sophistication of this ship. The man called the person in charge of this seating who came to see what the problems were. "I was unaware that there would be homosexuals on this voyage." The man said loud and irritated. "I insist they be given alternate seating." The man in charge frowned. What pleased me was the man in charge didn't even ask who we all were, he just knew. "Mr. Delveccio and Mr. McKenzie are VIP travelers. This is the VIP table and they paid for that privilege. How is this a problem? Since they paid to be at this table we can't reassign them. There are alternates we can offer. You can choose another time or there are other restaurants on board. Had we known it would have bothered you, we would have made sure you were assigned somewhere else." "Why do we have to..." he looked at Tony and me, "...put up with their perversion? It's offensive to me and my wife!" The man smiled, but it was one of tolerance of the ignorant. "We can't refuse a person passage for any reason. What is your preferred religious practice?" "Lutheran." The man smiled. "There are some that would be offended having a Lutheran at the table, especially someone Jewish! Martin Luther disliked Jews. That is well known. Should we refuse you? I'm Jewish, but I'm not offended...yet. I will find you another seat." He almost physically pulled the man away as the man's mouth dropped open. The other couples at the table were a mixture of reactions, most of them were surprised by this couples' intolerance. There was a couple that was in the fifties dressed nicely I could tell she was British when they began talking. They were the Parkers. Then another couple was French, the Girards in their mid-thirties and a new couple came that was in their twenties. The young woman looked amazed to be at this table. The Bensons, they were honeymooners and they were a mixed raced couple. She was light-skinned African and he was Caucasian. "Does anyone else have a problem with the seating?" The man in charge of seating assignments asked. The other couples looked at each other and all shook their heads. "Enjoy your time on the Queen Mary." Mrs. Parker smiled as she was the one next to Tony on the other side of him. "I'm Elouise. My husband is Benjamin." She said softly putting her hand gently on Tony's arm. "I think it's delightful. Our daughter is gay. Some just can't seem to accept that gay people are everywhere. It's a fact of life." Benjamin nodded with a smile. "How long have you two been together?" Tony grinned at me. "We met in April of 2002, married in June of 2003." "You're married?" The honeymooning woman smiled. "That's wonderful!" She had an accent that put her in Australia...or maybe New Zealand or South Africa. They sounded so similar. "I'm Linda. This is Bert." "We are the Girards. My wife is Deon and I'm Rene." The man said smiling speaking with a light French accent. I smiled at them. "I'm Mitch and this is Tony. It will be a long cruise if we can't get along. We didn't mean to offend anyone." "Why would we be offended?" Deon asked with a smile. "You both met someone you love. I don't see a problem." Ben shook his head and shrugged. "It's their loss and their problem." He then grinned. The evening progressed much better. The meal was nothing short of spectacular.

After dinner, Tony and I did a walk about the deck and still, we didn't let go of each other. The air was warm, but not hot. There was the ocean breeze and the moon shone over the water as we moved. We ended at the Queen's Room where this was the largest ballroom on the seas. Tony and I went out to the dance floor and started slow dancing. "Other than the one bump in the road when we arrived at dinner..." Tony smiled holding me as we danced, "...this has been nice." He said smiling. "I think soon we should go to bed." He kissed me. "I am in trouble, remember?" "Yes, you are." I agreed. "So, am I." I pulled him gently. "We have many days to see what else this ship has to offer, but for now." I grinned. "Let's test to see how comfortable that bed is."

In the suite, Tony began undressing me. I've said it many times, but Tony and I had a very comfortable familiarity. We knew each other and we at ease with each other. We've had the passion filled frantic desire where clothes were tossed and the urge to have sex was so great it seemed we could get to each other fast enough, but not tonight. Tonight was slow and filled with love. We were making promises to each other to be there for each other. We were mated and he was my husband that I adored so much. He let me know I was so important to him as we loved each other. As he was nearing climax, he smiled as he released in me. "I love you, Mitch." He said quietly. I kissed him gently as my fingers went in his hair. "I know. I love you, Tony." He buried his face in my neck. "I know."

I woke so comfortably as I heard Tony's light snore next to me. I smiled hearing that he was comfortable. I determined to be there for him to make sure he continued to be there. That morning we got up, changed to shorts and t-shirts (not your Hanes or other t-shirt used as underwear) and enjoyed our day at sea. There were many things to see on this great ship. This was a cruise ship, yes, but the feeling was again was it not a party ship. There was no cruise director using a bullhorn announcing games and contests. At least not yet. Tony and I didn't hide that we were romantically involved as our hands were usually together or arms around each other. Other than the reception we got the night before, no one had a problem with it. Our relationship didn't involve anyone else. We even did our own version of the scene from Titanic! The one where we stood on the very tip of the ship on its bow, the ship behind us unseen and the vast expanse of water before. I will admit, that was an amazing thing to experience. You got this exhilarating feeling of flying over the water. "That was really great!" Tony said looking back at the bow as we left. "Yes, isn't it odd that Rose was so keen on committing suicide at the beginning ends up one hundred and three and one of the only ones pulled from the water after the Titanic sinks?" I asked. "It makes for a better story." Tony put pointing out the obvious.

We enjoyed the pool area on the Pool Terrace a while and just like before, Tony got darker, I just got red. Again. This time I didn't need to ask about getting a tan artificially, it was going to happen. Tony chuckled from his deck lounge without opening his eyes knowing me now. "Don't worry, I already scheduled appointments for you. By the end of this voyage, people may swear you're black!" I smiled turning on my side, reaching over stroking his hair. "We don't have to go that far. Just a nice brown will be fine." One eye opened as he looked at me with it. The smile grew on his face. "Go as dark as you like." He grinned as we kissed gently in front of anyone and everyone and we didn't run ashore or anything, no sirens, and no screams from others! "Can I offer a drink, Gentlemen?" A British female voice asked. That was another thing about this ship. No crowds around a bar, which always was on the party ships. There were bars all over the ship, but here, they came to us! I frowned as I looked at my watch and then realized I wasn't wearing one. "It's not even noon yet." The woman laughed. "Does that matter? You're not driving." She said. "It's after nine." "In the morning." I put with a chuckle. "So?" She asked. Tony laughed, too. "She has a point." So, I was drinking before noon. It was good! I looked at the many passengers. They could be anyone. People that scrimped and saved to go on this trip or millionaires that paid the price willing and easily, but right now we were all the same. We were on vacation! Then Tony discovered Sir Samuel's. Sweet things made with Godiva chocolates that had you salivating with everything a person could want and never knew were, truffles and other candies and most important, COFFEE! I mean good, good coffee. Served hot or cold and I had the best cold latte ever and was resolved to have one often on this ship. We shopped in the Mayfair Shops for unique gifts for everyone back at home. That took most of the rest of the morning. Lunch was also great, but as it ended Tony groaned as he pushed away from the table. "Is there a problem?" I asked knowing what he was moaning about as he held his stomach. "This is Queen Mary! There can be no problems onboard." Tony nodded as he rubbed his stomach. "Yes, but tomorrow, I'm working out!" He grinned. "They have a wonderful gym here." I nodded. "I knew they would." "But tonight, we dine with the Captain!" Tony said happily as he grinned. "That will be formal." "Good thing we prepared." I chuckled.

The Captain's Table was wonderful. Tony and I wore our tuxedos for the first time that night and I think he and I were making an impression. Of course, I knew Tony was a handsome man and that tux he wore just made him look even better. The entertainment that night was the G32 nightclub was more energetic. Good music and a lot of dancing as Tony and I found out we were not the only same-gender couple onboard. There were two other male couples onboard and one female couple. Who knew about any others? There were a lot of people on this ship. The next day, even before Tony got his coffee, we were on the Promenade Deck at the gym using state of the art equipment. I worked out as well, but I kept watching Tony. My mind did go to the possible illness he might have and it was hard to believe he could be sick at all. He worked out with his usual dedication. His muscles were normally toned and fluid. I was aroused, so I quit staring, but I saw Tony grin to himself before I looked away. He knew he was being watched by me. I had my appointment at the spa and got my first application for my tan. Those Scottish genes just had a hard time making a natural tan. The dinner group was there again. "And where were we last night?" Louise Parker asked with a smile. "Dining with our good captain," Tony replied simply. Ben Parker chuckled. "We're dining with him Thursday. Now, what is you do, Tony?" I grinned as I put my hand on Tony's hand. "My husband is brilliant at making money. He's channeled that ability to others, making them money." Tony chuckled with a slight bow of his head and turned a little pink. "I oversee investments and do stocks, bonds, and other financial ventures." Ben nodded with a raised eyebrow. "You must be good. You seem to be a success." "He is a success. He's very good." I put in. "I am a man of leisure." Tony frowned. "Only because someone else sold the hotel. He was a manager of a prominent hotel in Charleston." He growled. "He is also very good and success." The waiter came and took our orders. "We've already taken one home with us," Tony said in a mutter to me. "We've enough human souvenirs." I smiled said back quietly. "Shut up. You love Sasha as much as I do." Tony chuckled. We had another day at sea, but when we woke the next morning. I looked out our window at Doubtful Sound, but we weren't just doing Doubtful Sound. We'd spend a few hours here, then sail on to Dusky Sound and last Dunedin. We boarded a small boat that came to the ship that took us around to see the many untouched beauty that was almost all Doubtful Sound. Surrounded by thick vegetation-covered, rounded peaks that said they were of great age. The water was teaming with life from the bottlenose dolphins that swam nearby us seeming to tease us and even a few whales that surfaced a little farther away and spewed water in the air as they breathed. I was snapping pictures at every turn. It was a rainforest here and it rained more almost every day here, which it did only lightly. We were fine, though. It was very nice. I snapped another picture. "There's a limited memory space, you know?" Tony chuckled as he rode beside me. I nodded leaning my back against him but took another picture. "We should have gotten a camera with bigger memory." Tony shook his head. "We got the one with the most!" I waved him off and took another picture. "I'll go through them and put them on the computer, wipe the memory here and start over." I grinned at him and then kissed him. "No worries." I waved at the area. "Look! It's breathtaking! The water, those hilly peaks, and the animals! This is paradise!" Tony leaned in kissing me. "I knew you'd like it." He looked around. "Perfect for my favorite nature-loving farm boy. It is pretty." Then he grinned mischievously. "But no Dunkin Donuts and not even a Starbuck's!" I patted his chest. "We'll have coffee in Sir Samuel's back on the ship." Tony nodded. "I'm holding you to that."

We sailed to the next stop called Dusky Sound. This time we were only there less than an hour. We did get to see the seals on Seal Rock sunbathing.

Then we went again this time to Dunedin. This was a port and welcomed us. I smiled at the town off our ship. Most of the areas we saw were not really developed but left to nature. The places like Dunedin and later were developed a little. It still had the pristine cleanliness of an environment respected by the people that settled here. "Dunedin is Scottish Gaelic for Edinburgh." Tony grinned as he nodded toward the town. "Your people made this town." "Which means there has to be a good Scottish Restaurant or Pub here." I grinned. "Let's look for it!" I took his hand and hurried to look up where that would be here on the computer. "This will be a jeans night. Okay?" Tony chuckled as he followed. "Okay."

Stuarts Street was the perfect place! Mac's Brewbar. This was more like it, for me. It was lively and casual. Relaxed. I smiled at Tony as we ate. "See? Now, this is good food!" I ate a chip I'd gotten with my fish and chips. Tony groused, but he was smiling. "If you say so. Anything to please you." I nodded. "Well, I like it." I munched the chip. "None of this touches any part of you that's from the British Isles?" Tony gave a shrugging nod. "That part of me must be overshadowed by the Italian city boy's side of me." "This whole trip is because of my ancestors and those who are British, Scottish, and Irish. The Queen Mary and this part of the world were settled by people from England, Scotland, and Ireland. They brought their culture here. This is beautiful!" I said logically. "Just eat your fish and chips." I looked at the clock on the wall. "Eat! They'll leave us at seven! That's an hour and a half away!"

We got back with ten minutes to spare. I'm never late. We showered and changed for a nice evening, but this time Tony pulled me into the Commodore Club. I didn't say anything, he'd done what I wanted, so I did what he wanted. This a club that was on the bow to allow wonderful views as we left Dunedin. This club specialized in martinis and cocktails. He persuaded me to try an "Over the Top Martini." With a name like that, how could I say no? Tony grinned as I had a reaction at the first sip. It was always the first sip that got you. "It's all top shelf stuff, Mitch." He sipped more. "G'Vine Gin, Sloe Gin, Cherry Brandy, Fever Tree Tonic..." he swallowed enjoying the taste. "Even a former Baptist has to admit it's delicious." I nodded. It was good, but again, I tasted the alcohol. That pallet of mine. "You don't have to get me drunk to sleep with me, you know?" He grinned. "I know, but you have to say this is good." I chuckled. "It's good."

That night we went to The Royal Court Theatre and saw a comedy act that was like the martini, or maybe it was because of two martinis for me. Over the top. I was almost crying he was so funny. All Englishmen weren't stuffy. Playing on the stuffy exterior was funny. Another night of loving and relaxing and we woke again with a new town. This was Wellington, this was a city...sort of. To me it was a city, to Tony it was still a small town. It wasn't New York. We walked the beach and took the cable car to the mountains and saw the view of the landscape. I was again taking pictures left and right. "On a scale of one to ten? How is this trip so far?" Tony asked smiling. "At least a nine and a half, but there is plenty more to come." I pulled his shirt bring him closer kissing him, my face next to his as we embraced. "This trip has been amazing, but you know I'm not motivated when you try to impress me. This trip has impressed me." I ran my hands over his back feeling his warmth and his solid presence. "I love you, Tony." Tony smiled. "I know."

Another day at sea. We did the stops at Sir Samuels for our coffees and generally just took it easy. I did have a second appointment with the Canyon Ranch Spa for my tanning. Tony waited patiently as I was taken care of. When I was done, he stood grinning. "Are there any tan lines now?"

"You'll have to see for yourself later." I grinned as I passed him.

He chuckled. "I plan to see that."

Tonight, wasn't a formal night, but we dressed casually for dinner. Tony was hungry, so we arrived first at our table as a couple we did not know was sitting in our chairs. I'd never seen them before.

"Are you assigned to the VIP table?" Tony asked, knowing they weren't. At that time, the man in charge of seating came by.

The man who was sitting where we sat looked confused. "There are no assigned seats."

The man in charge stopped. "Normally they dine in Queen's Grill. They chose the dining room. There is open seating on the above level." He pointed to the dining on the second floor. "There is open seating up there, but these seats were assigned to Mr. McKenzie and Mr. Delveccio. You need to go up there." The man and woman nodded and left. The man smiled. "The Queen's Grill is normally where people in your stateroom dine."

Tony nodded. "We will. The dining here is a little more open. There are people to talk to. The Queen's Grill is intimate when we want to be alone, but we like people, so this is better."

I chuckled. "For now."

The man nodded. "Some people prefer being alone, but visiting with other passengers is most definitely happening here." He grinned. "Have you had a good cruise so far?"

"More than I dreamed of." Tony nodded with a grin. His face fell a little. I looked where he was looking and saw the man and woman that objected that we sat at the VIP table that first night.

The man in charge of seating looked where we were looking. "The Grisons. From Oklahoma." He smiled. "Lottery winners." He looked at Tony. "They haven't given you problems, have they?"

Tony shook his head to the man's question as Deon and Rene came to the table. "No." He smiled at Deon and Rene then Ben and Elouise came. "Now, the reason we sit here." He sat chuckling. "The Grisons won a lottery. That explains a lot."

I laughed. "Don't be an elitist."

"Well, they are so..." Tony began.

"Simple? Unsophisticated?" I offered.

Tony nodded. "Yes! It's a big world. They're out in it, but want the same things they have back home."

Ben grinned as he sat down and we both stood as Deon and Elouise sat. "Hello, Gentlemen," Ben said. "How has your voyage been so far?"

Tony nodded. "Great! And yours?"

Elouise took her husband's hand. "It's been very...rewarding." She said smiling letting us know the rewards were more personal as she looked at her husband and put her napkin in her lap. "Tomorrow is Tauranga. What are you doing?"

I looked at Tony. "We've been doing natural stuff this week. We're planning to see Mount Maunganui. There are some great nature trails there. There are some great Maori exhibits at the museum and there is the Tauranga Art Gallery. We plan to see as much as we can."

Tony smiled. "This has been more...Mitch's sort of thing."

"We'll be in Auckland after that," I said. "That's a city. The only thing Tony has assurance about is coming back to this ship and back to civilization."

There was dancing again that night.

The days passed quickly and then the Bay of Islands. Then two days of just cruising. We were having a great time, but every now and then I could see Tony's face and knew what was playing on his mind. I didn't know what he was thinking, but I knew what he was thinking about. I woke up in the middle of the night alone one night. The stateroom was dark, but there was enough light to vaguely search and see Tony was gone. Getting up, I slipped a robe on and went downstairs. The rest of the stateroom was dark and empty, but looking out on the balcony I saw Tony's dark silhouette against the lights of stars and moonlight. He was just standing there in the dark night looking out over the water as the light shone over its surface. I felt a lump form in my throat, but went out and stood next to him.

"Is this a time you want to be alone?" I asked him quietly.

Tony didn't reply verbally but shook his head.

I reached over and took his hand. Looking out over the moonlit water, it was so peaceful.

It was a few minutes later when Tony spoke very quietly. "I couldn't sleep." He sighed. "It's so lovely here...now."

I nodded and looked at him. "I like it, too, but this isn't what's going through your mind."

"It's nothing," Tony said dismissing the question.

"Tony," I said in a way telling him I knew better. "At the very beginning, we promised to tell each other the truth and what was on our minds. There is something on your mind. I know what it's about, but what are you thinking? What are you feeling?"

It took a few seconds before he answered. "I'm scared," Tony confessed. "I'm sick." He smiled bitterly. "I know we haven't been given an official diagnosis, but I feel..." he thought as he tapped his own chest. "...I don't feel right." He turned to me. "Even Kathy knew...it runs in the family. For us, it was never a question if we will get cancer, but when. Even if this is treatable this time, I'll eventually get it." Now he looked scared. "I'm going to die."

His statement hit me in my heart. "Maybe."

Tony shook his head. "It's going to happen. I know it. We pretend it isn't happening right now. Most of the time I buy into it, but we both know what's happening."

I swallowed as the lump was forming in my throat and I had to get it down to talk. "What can we do, but fight this?"

"I don't know if I can!" Tony said a little louder than he intended. "I hate this whole thing!" Even in the dim light, I saw a tear form. "I don't want to die, but what's even worse is what this is doing to us. To you!" He waved at me.

"I won't leave you. I can't! You're not alone."

Tony moaned and turned away. "I know! That isn't fair!" He stated. "All these years I tried to impress you, but you didn't need to be impressed! I know you love me. I never doubted it from day three!"

His comment shocked me as he was using humor even in this distressing situation. "Day three?"

Tony grinned a little. "Well, there was the infatuation the first day, interest day two, but day three...yes. I knew I loved you and I was pretty sure you felt the same."

I chuckled as I ran a hand over his back. "Yes, that's pretty much the way it happened." I put my arms around him. "I can't know what you feel if you don't tell me, but I see it in your face."

Tony closed his eyes against his thoughts. "It's not fair!!" He said in agony.

Now I was crying. He was in so much pain inside. "It's most certainly not fair."

"I'm angry! At this horrible disease and I'm even mad at God!"

Being the son of a preacher sometimes paid off occasionally. "You think He doesn't know that? Tell Him that! Tell Him how you feel."

Tony looked at me a little shocked. "What?"

I kissed him quickly and patted him on his bare chest. "That's the problem with you Catholics, you're so used to having someone else intercede for you; be it Saints and even the Virgin Mary. Those of us raised Baptist don't have that issue. I see God as someone I can talk to. Just like I'm talking to you right now." I smiled. "I speak to Him as a friend. I talk to Him." I chuckled as his eyes held doubt. "You can. In fact, you should. The way I was taught, He understands you. He will understand what you're going through and even when you hurt so badly and can't put words to your feelings He understands the utterances of pain that have no words. If you're mad, tell Him. If you hurt, tell Him. Whatever you feel, tell Him!"

I watched as what I said was getting through. He stood there a few more seconds and then turned to the ocean beyond and just shouted a loud cry of such pain and agony. "What did I do? This is tearing me apart!" He shouted. "Help me!" He said and then put his face in his hands and began to cry. "I don't want to die." He said in a pitiful voice.

I was crying even more. What could I do, but be here with him? I put my arms tighter around him and pulled him closer as he grabbed hold of me. "You're not alone, Tony. I will be with you this whole way. So, will God. You're not alone."

It was a few more minutes before Tony stopped crying and looked down at me as he stood. "I dearly love you, Mitch."

I smiled as I kissed him. "I know. I dearly love you, Tony. You are the most amazing human being. No human means more to me than you do."

Tony hugged me. "I know."

After the turmoil of emotions expressed, I spooned him that night. He needed me. I did cry a little more, quietly, but I wouldn't let go. I couldn't. I talked to whatever power was in charge and questioned why this horrible thing could happen. He or She, deity or force knew all about me and even knew what I was thinking. Denying I felt or thought badly about them or this horrible event and why they allowed it was no secret from Him. Baptists didn't have the thing where we had to have somebody else talk for us, I told Him I had doubts and wanted to understand why. Tony was sick? The doctor said he didn't know yet. Tony said he could feel it. His father had it, but Angelo was in his seventies!! Tony was in his forties! The thing was, Tony needed me.

It was later when I felt Tony stir from his favored position on me. During the night he had turned. He liked to hear my heartbeat, so he sometimes slept on my chest. He smiled at me, but his expression was subdued, almost embarrassed. "Good morning." He said softly.

I smiled as I looked in his eyes as I ran my fingers in his hair. "It's nearly noon, but, yes, it's a good morning. It will be a great day."

We had been together for years now and I knew as he began to get ready to say more and I stopped him bringing him into a kiss. Not our typical good morning kiss; nor was it a consuming with desire kiss. I wanted him to know, without saying it, that I loved him. Words couldn't do the emotion justice, not this time.

"If you're going to say what I think you are, don't," I said softly as my fingers were in his hair again.

His eyebrows rose and I saw the very slight...but it was there, humor in his eyes. "How do you know what I'm going to say?"

"Because I know you, Tony," I said simply. "We've been together five...going on six years now. You think I don't know what you're going to say? But, if you think you have to; go ahead, say it."

"I was just going to say, I'm sorry..."

I was nodding as I know my eyes showed him I knew it. "See!?" I said quickly. "I knew you were going to say that!" I rolled on top of him. "Listen, Tony Delveccio, we stood before God and a whole lot people who are our family and friends, vowed to stick together through good times and bad times, richer or poorer." What I said next was more difficult than I thought due to a lump I was feeling due to the heaviness of emotions I was feeling. "Sickness and health. Right now, we're going through that will be bad. Never apologize to me about having feelings. I will always be at your side, and I will be on your side. Always." I smiled kissing him, but I knew there was a tear forming in my eye and I didn't wipe it away.

Tony pulled me closer. "I guess you do know me." He kissed me deeper. "So, what do you know about what I want to do right now?"

"Yes." Looking at him and I felt so...much love and agony at what he was facing and he knew I would be there for him. "But before we do, I know that we're going to go back and forth about this situation...you'll be calm sometimes. I will be other times. We've always been completely honest with each other. We tell each other everything." I said. "Last night, you told me you were scared." Now, the tear fell unchecked by me. "I'm scared, too. I am terrified." He squeezed me more as I saw sorrow in his eyes. "You are not doing this. It's just happening to you. I am so scared that I will lose you." As much as I tried to keep my voice steady, it broke. "I am amazed that I could love anyone as I do you. I never knew it was possible. I wish you could feel how much...so I have to tell you in words which are inadequate." I watched as his eyes were watering. "I..." I looked deeply in his eyes, "...love..." I saw and heard my tear hit his chest, "...you." I kissed him again, longer and more intense and heard his breathing hitch. "I will do all I can to keep you alive. I'll give anything, any organs I have...my whole self to keep you here and alive and healthy. I need you, Tony."

His lips were quivering as he held me so I could see him. "I'm here now." He barely got out. "Love me, Mitch."

"I do, Tony," I said kissing him. "I will."

Love making that morning took on a whole new meaning for me. We had many wild nights, we had a slow passion other times, but this time...I put all my desire for him and how much I loved having him, right now, with me. Why worry about losing him later when he was here with me now? I was determined that I would love that he was with me and treasure each moment we had together.

It was later when he again pulled me to him. I felt his lips on my neck.

"We're missing Tauranga," Tony said softly.

I smiled and rolled over facing him. "So?" I shrugged. "Our time together is a little more important than another nature filled...whatever."

"You love all that nature stuff!"

I shook my head. "I love you way more than all the flowers and animals, Tony." I smiled at him. "You've wanted to be on the Queen Mary..." I tried to remember when he brought it up and how many times, "a long time! We are! You need to have things you want to see and do. We'll do them! This is our trip!"

Tony chuckled. "Yes, it is. We'll be in Auckland tomorrow." He leaned in kissing me lightly. "Let's spend the day together here."

"We should order dinner brought here as well," I suggested. "I'm not feeling like...socializing tonight."

Tony's eyebrows rose to question and I knew him.

"I didn't say we couldn't see a show or something...go dancing...but I want just you today." I smiled. "Okay?"

Tony nodded and smiled at me. "That would be great." He rolled over and got up and went to the desk. "In fact, I say we order lunch and dinner and have it here." He shrugged. "We're here for a few more days. We can stay here, enjoy the stateroom and each other." He grinned. "But one thing I need right now...?"

I nodded and said it with him smiling back. "Is kawfee!" I even said it like he does.

He chuckled shaking his head. "You know me so well." He said picking up the phone by our bed to order his precious coffee. Later we would order our...lunch? Dinner? It was going to be a meal! He plopped down again on the bed and handed me the menu. "As you said...it may be nothing."

I nodded as I looked at the menu and again...I couldn't stop touching him. He didn't mind. "You said you feel it was...something."

He nodded. "I do." He confessed. "If it is something...I will have to go through treatments."

"Of course, you will."

"It will make me...sick." He said softly, but not looking at me.

"It will." I agreed pulling his head gently to look at me. "But you fight this, damn it."

"I intend to, but I will be weak and..." he hesitated. "Can I ask that we don't tell anyone?" He saw my expression and held his hand up. "I mean, not at first."

"Sure." I put the menu down and lowered us down on the bed. "If we can defeat this, no one needs to know, but...here's that Mitchism again." I saw him smile at that. "We're worrying about the ride on the horse when we haven't located the saddle. Hell, the horse is still in the pasture! We need to get the information from Dr. Keogh, about the...." I waved at him, "...whatever in you and he will tell us the treatment you need to get rid of it."

Tony frowned. "I've known people that have gone through that chemo and radiation. They got sick."

"All at once?" I asked wanted him to think. It could, it might and yet he needed not to see it as inevitable.

"No, it was gradual."

I nodded and again, leaned in a kissed him lightly. "This is important, I know. I know you're scared. It's worse because we don't know. I'm scared! I shouldn't have to tell you to feel free to say whatever you feel or think, okay? You know that. We'll talk about whatever and I mean it. I am your husband, Tony. I will always listen." I smiled. "If it was pancreatic cancer, I'd be very worried, but this could go on for years!" I said begging him to see that. "The doctor didn't tell us to cancel this, if he was worried, he would have made us stay to get treatment as soon as possible."

Tony nodded. "But it might! It runs in the family...!"

I pulled him into a hug. "Please, baby...don't surrender so quickly. If it is something, we'll deal with it!" I promised. "Together!" I saw his eyes and they were clouded over. "Don't give up. If it is serious, we deal with it."

He nodded and looked at me. "Promise me...not a word to Kathy, Al, Louise...nobody." He looked at me determined. "Especially not to Nick." He sat up. "We go on with our plans as usual. Nothing changes."

"Okay, baby." I agreed. "No one will be told until they question what's wrong."

"Not even then!" Tony shook his head. "We say I have something else."

"I can't do that!" I objected. "I don't lie well! You know that."

"You can evade the subject." Tony shrugged.

My eyes widened. "I'm going to evade a question from Kathy!?" I waved at him. "She's a nurse for Christ's sake! Al's a doctor! They will probably know without asking. You know your sister!" I saw Tony's distressed look and I took his face in my hands. "Can we wait until we talk to Dr. Keogh? Find out what treatment he intends to give and what your reaction will be? It might not..."

Tony moved quickly as he sat up. "I feel it! There's something there! He said so." He said pounding on his own chest. "I know there's something wrong! My mother, my father, both parents on either side...almost no one's died of anything else other than something related to cancer! I will get it!" He was now shouting. "I have it!"

I jumped up beside him. "First, your father was elderly! He even said it himself he was old! Your mother was also elderly!" I shouted just as loud. "You're not!" I threw my hands up. "Damn it, Tony! Your father had it for we don't know how long when he got sick enough to go to the doctor and then it was too late! You didn't! You will not just give up and die!! We have a chance!" My finger jabbed his chest over where he had pounded his chest making him back up slowly.

Tony's eyes widened. "Are you sure you're not really Italian?"

The humor was what it was, but I was on a roll and I wasn't stopping. "You mean a lot to a bunch of people, Anthony Delveccio! You have a son, sisters, nieces, and nephews that need you! More important, you have a husband. Me! I am your husband; I need you the most! We are going to fight this...thing you said you've got. Do you hear me?"

Tony nodded and walked over and hugged me. "Sorry, I'm just worrying."

I held him to me. "It's in your genes, I know." I got us to sit down again and looked him in the eyes. "I will be with you the whole way, I promise." I watched him smile at me. "I love you. Have I told you that?"

Tony grinned. "No, I don't think you've ever said that before to me."

I nodded as I pushed him on his back and straddled his middle, arms over his head. "Trying to dethrone me as the wiseass?"

Tony chuckled as he surrendered. "I never stood a chance of doing that." Then he said seriously. "I know you love me."

"Good," I said running my nose in his chest hair and kissed his chest as I went.

Tony smiled. "You know how I feel about you."

I propped on his chest as I mockingly looked unsure. "I don't recall..."

"I love you, Mitch." He said seriously. "You're my whole world." He said softly. "Just, try to keep me sane."

Then we heard the soft melodic tone. "Never doubt I'll be here, for whenever or whatever you need," I said kissing him. "Your kawfee's here." I grinned.

He laughed at me saying it that way. "I'm turning you into a YANKEE!!" He got up and was going down.

"You might want to put a robe on?" I suggested waving at his nude form. "I love seeing it, but it might be a bit of a shock for the guy or girl with the coffee. As nice as the view is..." I waved again at his naked form.

Tony waved that comment off, but got the robe on. "I'm sure I won't the first."

I sighed knowing we were in for a long struggle. Tony was my whole world and I won't let him go without a fight. I had to get his mind off this unknown and back on the trip we were on. This was his dream! But I was equally determined it wasn't to be his last.

"I ordered you that vanilla iced latte you love!" I heard from below making me grin more.

"On my way."

We really didn't do much that day, but spend time together. We did order the meal after drinking our coffee.

"I may need to talk to someone," I said as we finished our meal.

Tony looked up. "You mean a therapist?"

I shook my head. "Not like that yet...maybe later." I smiled. "There are people in our lives that I would trust," I said. "David is just that person. He's my cousin, but he's my good friend...always has been."

Tony nodded. "And therefore Sasha."

"We made Sasha our next of kin. We trust him." I said. "They're our family now, but no one else."

Tony nodded. "I have you to talk to, so..." he shrugged. "It makes sense." He sat back with a sigh. "I just don't want to worry anyone."

I took his hand. "That's what family and friends do. They will worry because they love you." I said. "It will happen."