Noah and Jordan

The following story is a work of fiction and does not represent any living person. The story contains sex between two consenting adult men. If you are a minor, or it is illegal in your area to read the following story, please leave now. The author retains all rights to the story. Please do not reproduce without prior consent.

--- Comments and feedback always welcome at mr_e08@hotmail.com. Also, thanks to everyone who sent feedback and to Lisa for editing this story.

Enjoy,

Ethan.

------------- Chapter 29 -------------

(Please note time changes)

*** JORDAN ***

It's the small moments that stick with you. Those unscripted and raw experiences, which create memories that last a lifetime. Whether it's a soft touch, A stolen glance, An infectious laugh, Or a devilish smile, These are the moments we cherish. The ones we replay over and over in our heads. You never know what will create a lasting impression. Life is unexpected that way. It throws us curve balls, Keeps us on our toes, Plays with our emotions. That may sound daunting, It may even seem cruel. But that's what makes life interesting. It's what makes life worth living.

— Present Day —

There's nothing better than waking up next to someone you adore. Just lying in bed together, wasting away the minutes. I turn my head to the side. Of course, sprawled out beside me is Toby. I'm not surprised to see him. I've been waking up next to him for the last few days now.

Who is Toby you ask? Our dog, of course. Why, what did you think? Who else would I be talking about?

"Okay, buddy, lets get up," I say to the dog as I rub my hands into his fur. "Or our mean owner will start yelling at us."

"I heard that," Noah says sticking his head into the room.

"You were meant to," I respond.

"It's about time you got up. We have a lot to do today. We still have to get snacks and drinks for tonight's party. Plus, remember when you go out you have to get Baxter some more food."

"His name isn't Baxter! It's Toby!"

So, here's a small problem. We've had the dog for almost a week now. He's a yellow Labrador retriever and absolutely adorable. But, we can't decide on what to name him. We've gone through so many ideas. I like Toby. It just seems like the perfect dog name. Noah wanted to name him Gatsby after the novel, because he's a nerd. I said no to that one. So, Noah said Baxter. I like Baxter, but I don't know, he just doesn't seem like a Baxter to me. I suggested Snoopy, but then Noah said he doesn't look like Snoopy, so that was a no. Come on, who can say no to Snoopy! It's the best name ever. Noah even said no to Dino! So yeah, we still can't decide. We should soon or this dog is going to be super confused.

"What about Sherlock, after the greatest detective of all time?" Noah says.

"No."

"Okay, Sammy after Samuel Beckett for his play `Waiting for Godot'. One of the best plays ever."

"Waiting for who? And no. Sammy is so typical."

"You really need to read a book!" he says throwing his hands in the air.

"And you need to stop being such a nerd," I say light heartedly. He knows I'm joking. "If you want to go with great literature then we should go with Gandalf."

"One, he's not a wizard, and two, he's not grey!"

"Honestly, if we're having so much trouble naming a dog, what's going to happen when we try to name our first child!"

"Oh, that's easy. Boy it's Logan. Girl it's Arya. No debate there."

"Wow, you had those ready to go. You've clearly given this some thought already," I say.

"I like those names."

"And I'm assuming that's Arya from Game of Thrones?"

"Yep."

"But no to Gandalf? Hypocrite."

"That's me!"

I actually like Logan and Arya. They're nice names. I'm not going to tell Noah that though. As for the dog, we'll figure it out eventually. We'll find something that feels right to both of us. I think our minds are a bit occupied right now. We just moved into our new digs a few days ago. There are still boxes and bags all over the place. Then we have to prepare for school. Sometimes it feels like a lot. Tip for anyone thinking of getting a dog: don't do it while you're in the middle of a move. What the heck was I thinking!? Here's the thing though, it doesn't matter. What this dog symbolizes is way more important than any inconvenience.

*** NOAH ***

— Present Day —

I was woken up early this morning by Baxter licking my feet (I'm sticking with Baxter, I don't care what Jordan says). He was hungry. Of course he comes straight to me and not Jordan. How did he know to do that? I'm going to have to train him to bug Jordan first. After I give him some food I decide to take him for a walk. It will be nice to get some air and give Jordan some time to rest. It's been really hectic the last few days with the move, and I know Jordan is really tired. I'm just glad that it's almost all over. Just a few more things to do and we will be all set. I want my life to go back to normal! Though, I'm not sure if I even know what `normal' is anymore. This summer has changed everything.

"Let's go, buddy," I say as I walk out the door with Baxter. It's still early; the sun is just starting to come out. It actually reminds me of something that happened a few weeks ago. I was still living with Jordan at his home in Montreal ...

— Friday, August 1st —

"Keep your eyes closed!" Jordan says firmly.

"They're closed, don't worry."

"Here, watch your step," he says as he guides me along a rather bumpy path.

"Where in the world are you taking me?"

"You'll see."

Jordan woke me up super early today. He threw clothes at me and told me to get ready quickly. He didn't even let me grab any breakfast! I kept asking him where we were going, but he wouldn't tell me. I have a feeling I know what this is all about. It was still dark outside by the time we left. I couldn't really tell, but it felt like we were driving towards downtown. A few minutes into the drive he tells me to close my eyes. Of course, I challenge him, but then I reluctantly agree. Then, he tells me to put on a blindfold! I looked at him suspiciously. I was both intrigued and scared at the same time. Good thing I trust this guy with my life!

"Are we there?" I ask him as we get out of the car.

"Almost, dude, almost. Just another minute. Okay, just around here now," he says leading me by the arm. "Almost there, almost. Okay. Here is good. Stop."

"Can I take these off now?" I ask as I raise my hand towards my eyes.

"NO!" He grabs my hand rather suddenly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be so rough. Not just yet. Just wait another minute."

"What are we waiting for exactly?"

"The perfect moment."

"And when is that?" I ask.

"It is ... now. Okay, close your eyes, I'm going to take off the blindfold. Are they closed?"

"Yes, Jordan."

"Okay." Just as he takes off the blindfold he puts a hand over my eyes. He stands behind me and turns my body slightly to the right. "Okay, you can open your eyes ... now!"

There are moments in life when the beauty of this world leaves you utterly speechless. When nature displays its majestic elements in a spellbinding show of force. When you simply are just left in awe. This is one of those moments. It's when you realize how magnificent this world really is.

We're standing on a hill facing east. In the distance, just above the horizon the sun is starting to rise. Its rays illuminate the dark sky, turning it into a vibrant sea of orange, yellow, and blue. The light seeps into the city, snaking through the buildings, waking up the cold concrete from its slumber. The dark shadows slowly fade away as life returns once again.

"Jordan, this is simply amazing ..."

"I thought you'd like it."

"I love it. This is beyond beautiful."

"It makes you feel so alive," he says as he throws his arm around my shoulder.

"It really does."

"And gives you hope and optimism that the future will be just as bright and magnificent."

"Absolutely. Thanks for bringing me here."

"My pleasure. Happy Birthday, Noah."

"Thanks, Jordan."

— Present Day —

Seeing the sunrise today reminds me of that day. Jordan went out of his way for me. Afterwards, he surprised me with a picnic. I didn't even know he packed anything. Not only did he pack, but he made breakfast, and it was actually good. He brought fruits, vegetables, cereal, yogurt and milk in a cooler. He also made scrambled eggs and kept them in a hotpot. He came prepared. It was the best breakfast I've had in a long time. After that we rented bikes and rode them along a trail, which was tiring beyond belief, but incredible at the same time. I really am out of shape. We then went to a movie, followed by a romantic dinner out. Dessert we had at home. Because Jordan grew up with just his mom, he says every birthday they would always cut a cake together. It is their thing. They always get this chocolate cake from this one bakery. And just a side note here, OMG it was AMAZING! Hands down, one of the best cakes ever. Oh man, now I want some. Damn. Where was I? Oh right, my birthday. Right, cake. Yeah, so we went home and cut some cake with his mom. It was really nice. Both of them went out of their way to make me feel like family. I really felt like I belonged. And then to top it off, Jordan's mom gave me an amazing gift. She reserved a hotel for us at this beautiful ski resort in Mont-Tremblant, just north of the city. It was an amazing trip, one that I'll never forget. It was life changing.

The other unforgettable thing that happened on my birthday was talking to my mom. She actually called me. It was the first time I had spoken with her since the night I came out. It was interesting.

*** JORDAN ***

— Present Day —

"Jordan, can you pass me that box over there? Oh, and then can you help me put some of this stuff in the kitchen? And then, I totally forgot we have to —"

I cut Noah off. "I have to go get the party stuff and get Gandalf his food. I'll be back in an hour!"

"Slacker. And his name's not Gandalf!"

"Of course it is. I love you. Bye. See you in a bit!"

I love Noah, don't get me wrong, but when he gets all crazy with cleaning and stuff, he can become a bit much. He turns into this machine and wants everyone to just follow him. Again, I love him, I really do. But I also want to smack him with a pillow sometimes. Usually when he gets really bad the answer is sex, but something tells me if I try to get into his pants right now, all he'll tell me to do is take them and iron them. So yeah, this is my plan B.

I put Gandalf or Toby or whatever his name is on a leash and take him outside. I really love the location of our new apartment. It is still close to school, and in a good part of the city. You can walk to everything in like five minutes, tops. There are grocery stores, the mall, shops, restaurants, bars, everything. I'm also glad to be out of that old apartment. It was a great place, but it also had some bad memories attached to it too. It was his place. And I know this may sound immature, but sometimes I felt like a guest there. This time it's different; it's our place. It's our home. And from now on, we will only make positive memories in it. Or, I hope. Unless Noah keeps telling me to unpack stuff ... the first memories won't be so nice.

We did make some great memories over the summer though. I still vividly remember taking Noah to Mont-Royal on his birthday to see the sunrise. I felt it was absolutely fitting, given our situation. To me the sunrise symbolizes a new beginning. It's a chance to start over, to start fresh. It's a new day, and anything is possible. Even though Noah and I dated before for a few months, this time everything feels different. We've grown so much more comfortable in our own skin. The reason is simply because we are open about who we are. Everyone knows we are a couple and madly in love. Most people have accepted us, while some have been reserved. We know not everyone will celebrate our love and we are okay with that. Rejection only makes us stronger.

Another reason why this time things feel different is because Noah is different. I thought I knew exactly who he was, down to every little habit of his. But I was wrong. He changed so much while we were apart. To this day he surprises me. His compassion, his ability to forgive and empathize with people amazes me. He's not that shy, nervous guy I met all those months back in English class. He's become so much more confident. He's matured. And perhaps more importantly, he's learned to love without fear.

Take the following examples. The first is the fact that Noah stayed with me until about mid-August. He had to make a big compromise to do that. I wanted him to stay until school started and then head down with me. But his dad wanted him to come home for a few days. So instead, they reached a compromise. In exchange for Noah delaying his flight by a few weeks, he promised his dad he would come home for a few days before going back to school. I was shocked Noah agreed to go back there. I would never want to step foot in that house again. But he said yes because, regardless of what happened, he still respects his father. And while he didn't say it back then, I knew part of his heart was hoping his mom would come around. No matter how bad she has been to him he still loves her. That's what I mean when I say his ability to forgive amazes me. Talk about having a big heart.

Then there was the night Noah met my high school friends in person. Before, he would have been extremely shy and quiet; that is just who he is. He doesn't do well in large crowds. He gets really quiet, and basically melts into the background. This time, he was still shy, but he was different. I could see the cracks starting to appear in his shell. He wasn't as inhibited. He tried to talk more, tried to involve himself. Naturally, people asked about our relationship; it was sort of THE topic. Everyone wanted to meet him. They were curious who he was. They wanted to meet the guy who `converted' me. I kept telling everyone he didn't convert me! That's not how it works. Whatever. The whole point is that Noah didn't flinch, he spoke openly and honestly. He actually seemed to enjoy the attention; he got a lot of it from Sophia. I was really proud of him, and later that night I made sure he realized how much.

Of course, there was the night Noah met my dad's family ... that was a whole different story. It was a night to remember, and not in a good way. I was so angry I thought I would rip my own head off. But, again, Noah surprised me. His calm, cool demeanour, and his ability to love in the face of so much hatred, was amazing.

Here's what happened: My eldest uncle (the one that also lives in Montreal), invited us over to his house. In my family we usually get together a week after someone dies. In this case, it was for my dad. It's meant to be a way to remember the person and just reconnect with family. Part of me didn't want to go because I felt like I had said my peace and moved on. But then, on the other hand, I felt like I should go because he was my dad. I still do feel sad about his death. Sometimes it feels as if he is at his home just doing his own thing. Because I didn't see him for long stretches of time it doesn't feel weird that he is not here with me. In my mind he's somewhere alive and well. But I know that isn't the case. And so, as my dad's only son, I felt it made sense for me to go. Noah thought so too.

Of course, naturally, I wanted Noah to be there with me. This happened only three days after we got back together. I was worried about the reception we would get. I asked my mom and she said it was up to me, but she thought he should come. She said we shouldn't hide who we are, and that if it were a girlfriend, I wouldn't even be having this conversation. She was right. I was just worried about someone saying something stupid to Noah. I knew I could handle it, and I was sure Noah could too, but I just didn't want to put him in that position to begin with. I feel like it is my job to protect him, though he proved that night he is fully capable of fending for himself ...

— Sunday, July 18th —

"Mom, we'll join you in a second, okay?" I say to her as we get out of the car. We are just outside my uncle's house. I want a moment alone with Noah before we go in. "If anyone says anything hurtful to you, or makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, don't hesitate to say something. You don't have to be polite just for me. Or tell me, and I will talk to them. And if at any point you want to leave, we can. Just say the word."

Now I figured just showing up with Noah wouldn't be the best idea. My mom actually called my aunt and told her beforehand that I was bringing my boyfriend. I knew she wouldn't say anything, and she didn't. She was surprised, but supportive. But she did say she was concerned about how some family members, namely my annoying uncle (he's the one I yelled at when I was at the hospital), would react. She said not to worry and that she would handle it. The next day she called back and said everything would be okay.

"Don't worry, Jordan, everything will be fine tonight," Noah says.

"You don't know some of them."

"This won't be my first time butting heads with bigoted people, and likely not the last. It's okay. I can handle myself."

"I love you."

He smiles at me. "I love you too."

You know that feeling you get when you think everyone is looking at you? Well, that's how I feel when Noah and I walk into the house. It feels like everyone has stopped what they're doing and are just staring at us and judging us. The only person to approach us as we walk in is my aunt. She greets us both warmly.

"How did everyone react to the news?" I ask her.

She bites her lips. That can't be a good sign. "Everyone has their own opinions, and sometimes you just have to live with that. But don't worry, no one will say anything to either of you."

"Thank you," I say to her.

She's right, no one asks about our relationship. Some actually avoid us altogether! The really annoying uncle leaves the room when Noah and I enter to say hello (for the sake of identification, I'm just going to refer to him as Uncle Jackass from now on). His wife doesn't say anything to us either. Overall though everyone is civil, but it does feel like there is this giant elephant in the room that no one is addressing.

After eight minutes (yes I counted), Noah and I go into the living room to meet the kids. They are way more fun. Most of my cousins are quite young; I am the oldest one actually. A few of them are teenagers, but they are nowhere to be seen. They are all hanging out upstairs. The majority are much younger, in the single digits. They are running around and yelling. I don't think they have ever seen a gay couple before, let alone know what one is. My plan is not to bring it up. I figure it's a conversation their parents should have with them when they feel the time is right. But I guess kids these days are way more progressive than I realized.

"Hey everyone, this is my friend Noah."

"Hey, kids," he says to them.

"Jordan!" Before I can react, my aunt's daughter lunges at me and gives me a big hug. Or well, hugs my legs. She is still quite short. She is really sweet. All of my aunt's kids are well mannered. She grabs my hand and pulls me to the floor. "Come play with me!"

"Sure. What are you playing?"

"I'm making a necklace," she says pointing to a table filled with crafts.

"Cool. You're doing a great job!"

She quickly stands back up and grabs Noah's hand. "You can join us too."

"Thanks," he says with a smile.

One by one the other girls introduce themselves. The young boys show us their cars and action figures. Not even five minutes in, one of my cousins is sitting in Noah's lap asking him to read her a book. I sit there watching him interact with her. He is really good at this, much better than I am. He is sweet and calm. He reads the book, changing his voice for each character. He is playful and full of life. My cousin is laughing and having a great time. The minute he finishes the book she asks him to read it again. Of course, this attracts the other kids, and before you know it he has a bit of a following. Watching him, I know he'll make a great father one day.

After he's done reading books the girls ask Noah to join him for a tea party. He gets an invite but not me! Nice. It's okay. I get asked to build Lego blocks with another cousin.

"This is for you," she says passing Noah a pink plastic cup.

"Thank you," he says. He sips some of the imaginary tea. "This is delicious. Did you make it?"

"Yes," she says.

"Can I have some more?" he asks her.

"Yep."

Noah turns my way and smiles. I smile back at him. From the corner of my eye I notice Uncle Jackass is there. I'm not sure how long he's been staring at us. He mumbles something as he walks past me.

"Friggin' fairies ..."

Noah hears him too. He can see my face twitch. I'm about to say something when Noah places his hand on my arm. He shakes his head.

"It's not worth it. Just let it go."

Noah's right. It isn't worth it. "Sorry," I say to him.

"It's fine, Jordan. I'm just glad your cousins didn't hear."

"He's such a —"

"I know," he says cutting me off before I can swear. I wasn't going to! There are children here. I just need to avoid my uncle for the rest of the night! But I know that won't happen.

— Present Day —

I'm snapped back to reality by a random woman standing beside me on the sidewalk.

"Aww, he's so cute!" She kneels down beside the dog and starts to pet him. "What's his name?"

"His name? Um ... Jacka ... o'lantern."

"Oh ... that's an interesting name ..."

The dog isn't orange. Far from it. I was actually going to say Jackass! Phew, that was close.

*** NOAH ***

— Present Day —

He's finally gone! Now I can actually get some work done. Don't get me wrong, I love Jordan, but he is the biggest distraction in the world. I find I am way more productive when he is focused on something else. When I give him chores to do his answer is always sex. I know he thinks he is being clever, but I am totally on to him. While he did help with the move, I did most of the packing (as in all) and pretty much all the unpacking. He did unpack his own clothes. Though, now that he's been dressing less like a slob, I've been stealing his clothes more and more. I never thought about this before, but being gay is awesome because you get two sets of clothes. Take that straight guys, you can't wear your girlfriends' clothes. Or, well, you could but ... yeah, no one would want to see that. Also, from what I've seen, girlfriends usually steal their boyfriend's clothes. So not only do you lose, you don't get anything in return. Score one for my team!

Now that Jordan is gone I can actually set up the surprise I have for him. The moment he leaves I run out of the house. I have to pick up something quickly and install it before he comes back. I blew up two pictures. The one he gave me on Valentine's Day (the one my mom tore up), and the one we took the day we got back together. I figured we could hang both of them up, side by side, in our family room. I'm putting up both as a reminder that we can overcome any hardship. The first picture doesn't bring me pain. It brings me joy. Joy that I was strong enough to follow my heart.

The second picture also holds a special place in my heart because it is how I told the world I am gay. I thought it was only fitting, seeing how a picture is how my parents found out. I uploaded the second picture to Facebook and set it as my profile picture. I also changed my relationship status. In an instant, everyone I know, all of my family members and friends, people I grew up with, and people in my community, found out I'm gay. A lot of people liked the picture. I don't think I've ever gotten so many likes before. Many people also wrote supportive comments. But, as expected, there were people in my family, a few of my cousins, who sent me messages displaying their disgust and outrage. One commented directly on the picture. But before I could respond, Jenn got to him first. She took him down a couple of pegs. Trust me, never cross Jenn. I just blocked and deleted that cousin. His loss, not mine. Jordan also changed his status too. He got more likes than I did, not that it's a competition or anything. Much to his relief, he got many messages of support from his volleyball teammates. He wasn't worried, but still, he felt it could become an awkward situation. But it looks like that won't be the case.

When I changed my picture I knew my mom would find out and be angry. Before that no one else in my family knew about me; she didn't tell them because, well, who wants their dirty little secret out in the community? Well, I opened up Pandora's Box. I put it out there for my family and the community to see. My sister told me my mom was seething the day my aunt called asking about the picture. She couldn't deny it anymore. Her son was gay and proud.

That's why she ended up calling me on my birthday, because of the picture. I hadn't spoken to my mom since the night I came out. She has this thing where when she is angry she stops talking to you. It usually works. When I was a kid it would drive me crazy! I would try talking to her, but she would ignore me. She did it to my siblings and me. And we would crack. We would apologize. This time though, I didn't crack and I think she realized it wasn't going to happen. So she called me. I still remember it vividly. Jordan and I were in his room making out because, well, do I need to explain? Anyway, that's when my dad calls. I thought that was strange because I spoke to him earlier in the day. But when I answered it he said my mom wanted to speak with me. I froze. I was shocked. Jordan asked if I wanted him to leave. But instead I grabbed onto his hand. I knew I would need his support ...

— Friday, August 1st —

"She wants to talk to me?" I ask my dad surprised.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Just talk to her. See what she has to say."

"Okay." I honestly don't know what to expect. My gut tells me she hasn't changed her mind.

"Hello, Noah," she says. Her voice is steadfast. There is no weakness in it.

"Hi, Mom."

"How are you?" she asks.

"I'm well. How are you?" I try to keep my voice flat and not show any emotion.

"I'm okay. Happy Birthday."

"Thank you." I'm not going to say anything. I think she needs to make the first move. An apology would be nice, but I'm not holding my breath.

"Your father tells me you're coming home in a few weeks."

"I am."

"That's good."

"Are you okay with that?"

"Of course. I want you to come home," she says.

Now that takes me by surprise. "Why?"

"Because you're my son."

"What about all the stuff you said before?" I ask.

"I was surprised that night. I didn't expect you to say what you did. But, we can talk about that when you're here."

"We can talk about that now," I say. "Are you willing to accept who I am?"

"As I said, we can talk more when you're home."

"There isn't much to really talk about. You either accept who I am, or you don't. It's as simple as that," I say.

"You're my son, Noah. It's not simple. As I said, let's talk when you come home."

I'm not going to get anywhere with her. "Fine," I say. "Thank you for calling."

"Take care, Noah."

"You too, Mom."

— Present Day —

Later my sister told me that my aunt convinced my mom that she needed to get me back home. She said that was the only way my mom could cure' me, my aunt's words, not mine. When my aunt found out I was living with my boyfriend (oh the horror!) she said my mom had to act fast to get me away from, again her words, the clutches of evil'. It's fine. None of this fazes me anymore. I'm honestly not surprised my aunt thinks that way.

I grab my parcels from the photo shop. When I turn to leave I see this absolutely striking photo. It gives me an idea. I know the perfect name for our dog.

*** JORDAN ****

— Present Day —

"Here, boy, sit," I say to Gizmo in the elevator. Nah, he's not a Gizmo either. Why is this so difficult!? The dog was getting close to this crusty old man. He just looked at Max (hmm ... Max ... maybe) and gave the dirtiest look and backed into a corner. Whatever, he can make all the looks he wants. My dog is awesome ... whatever his name is.

Seeing that crusty old man reminds me of my stupid annoying uncle again. As I was saying before, he wasn't done with us just yet ...

— Sunday, July 18th —

After my uncle's little remark we decide to go upstairs to see what my teenage cousins are doing. Two are brothers and live here. One girl and one boy are my aunt's kids. Another boy and girl are a different uncle's children. They are all in between the ages of 14 to 17. I introduce them all to Noah. I tell them he is my friend. The minute I say friend' I can see all of them look at each other. Two of them start whispering. I can hear one say ask him' and the other replying `no, you ask him'.

"What's going on, guys?" I ask. I know these cousins, but not well; I didn't see them much growing up.

"Um ... I thought he was your boyfriend ..." my aunt's daughter says.

"Ah, so you already know. Your mom told you?"

"I overheard her on the phone," she says.

"Oh. Well, yes, he's my boyfriend."

"That is super cool!" she says. Wow someone is excited. "I've never met a real live gay person before."

"Well, now you've met two," Noah says.

"Don't be weird," her brother says to her.

"So, not to pry or anything ... but I thought you were dating a girl before?" she asks nervously. I was still dating Kate when I visited my dad last summer. That was the last time I saw any of them before my father's death.

"Mind your own business," her brother says. He turns to us. "Just ignore her."

I smile. "It's okay. I was, yes."

"Oh." She looks confused.

"But then I met this guy, and we've been together ever since."

"So you met him and realized you like guys more?" the other girl asks.

"Something like that."

"Wow, that is so cool!" That would be the eager one again.

"So, what exactly was your mom saying over the phone when you overheard her?" I ask her.

The excitement washes off her face. "Oh ... some people in the family didn't want you to come. There was this big argument. But I'm really glad you did!"

I ask her who, even though I know the answer. She says Uncle Jackass. He fought with my aunt for a while, but she told him she was not backing down. So, in the end, he came but decided to leave his kids at home. He didn't want me to `corrupt' them.

"He's a douche," one of the boys says.

"He's still your uncle," Noah chimes in.

"Unfortunately," another says.

A few minutes later we are all called downstairs to eat. I just want to eat and leave. I think I have put in enough time here. I'd rather not be somewhere I'm not wanted. Noah and I put some food on our plates and sit with the teenagers. They are cool kids. It's a shame I didn't really get to hang out with them more while we were growing up. Thanks for that Dad! After we're done eating, we prepare to leave. My mom is saying goodbye to someone in the kitchen. Noah and I are in the living room with the other adults when one of my young cousins, the one who was having a tea party with Noah, walks up to me.

"Jordan ... what does gay faggot mean?"

Everyone stops and turns towards us. Did she just say what I think she said?

"Where did you hear those words?" I ask her.

She points to Uncle Jackass. Of course. "Uncle said you're a gay faggot. What's a gay faggot?"

That stupid, stupid man. Control your anger, Jordan, this is not the time. My cousin is four years old. What am I supposed to say to her? My aunt is about to say something when her other daughter, who is only eight, starts speaking.

"Gay is when a boy loves another boy, instead of a girl. My teacher says gay people are just like everyone else and that we're not supposed to call them mean names. The other word is a bad word. My teacher says we are supposed to love and respect everyone no matter our differences. Right, Mommy?"

Hearing her speak melts my heart. She is absolutely adorable. She's so young, yet so smart. Clearly there is hope for the younger generation.

"Right, sweetie."

"You're going to let your children learn that crap," Uncle Jackass says. "That's why I didn't bring my children tonight, to keep them away from such filth."

"Jackass!" my aunt says sternly. She uses his real name, of course, but I'm sticking with Jackass. "Est-ce que vous ..." My aunt switches to French to yell at him so the young kids can't understand. She pretty much asks if he has gone crazy.

"Come, kids, let's go play in the other room," one of the teenagers says as she quickly takes them away.

"I'm just saying what's on everyone's mind. This is wrong, and I can't believe you're all okay with it. I'm glad your dad's not alive to see this day. He would be ashamed of you!"

That stings. I'm about to say something but my aunt beats me to it.

"You're out of line," she says to her brother. "You need to apologize to them right now."

"I'd rather eat coal," Uncle Jackass says.

The yelling attracts everyone's attention. My mom enters the room looking confused. I feel like a vein in my neck is about to burst. I'm just about to yell, when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look to the side to see Noah. There is not even a hint of anger in his eyes. Rather, he's smiling!

"We don't need your apology," Noah says to him in a calm voice. "Neither do we need your approval. We are who we are, and we're never going change that for anyone. And —"

"It's people like you that have brought the wrath of God onto this world," he says cutting off Noah. "Being queer is a sin!"

I want to bash his head in. My mom is about to say something, but much to our surprise Noah laughs.

"What do you know about what's right and wrong? I know your type. You cherry pick the parts of the religion that suit your needs. But, if you want to talk about it, then let's do that. But let's start with you. Did you forget the importance God places in family, in being kind to others, and loving others? In acceptance and in tolerance? You seem to not care about any of those. Earlier you said Jordan's dad would be ashamed of him. I doubt that. Jordan is the most amazing man I have ever met. His compassion, his generosity, his empathy knows no bounds. He loves without limits, and he never asks for anything in return. He owed his father nothing, not his time, nor his love, but he gave it to him anyway. He embraced his father's family, a family that barely had two seconds for him before all of this. You want to talk about being ashamed, you should be ashamed. You should be ashamed for being such a lousy uncle. From what I hear, you were never around for Jordan when he was younger. Did you forget about your responsibility? It's so easy to judge everyone else, yet you fail to look in the mirror and see the person you've become."

"I'm not going to be lectured by a goddam fucking fag," Uncle Jackass spits out.

Again I am about to boil over, and my mom is about to say something, but Noah just squeezes my hand.

"If it makes you feel any better call me whatever name comes to your mind. It doesn't hurt. All it proves is that your heart is full of hatred. Unless you forgot, that too is a sin. You know, I actually feel rather sorry for you. All that hatred is blinding your heart from seeing what true love actually looks like."

"Your love is disgusting. It sends the wrong message to kids that this is okay," he says with disdain in his voice.

"The message we send is that of tolerance and love. It's a message of accepting who you are, embracing differences, and being at peace with yourself. There is nothing wrong with that. And for the record, we didn't say anything to the children, that was your smart mouth —"

"Well —" My uncle tries to cut Noah off, but Noah doesn't let him. He waves him off.

"I know you don't want to offer us an apology, and like I said, we don't need one. But I do want to offer something to you. A prayer. I pray that God removes all the hate from your heart and opens your eyes to the wonderful world he created. Because I'll tell you one thing, no one is removing me from Jordan."

Uncle Jackass is about to respond but my eldest uncle cuts him off. "Je ne veux pas entrendre un autre mot." He pretty much tells him to shut up. Uncle Jackass stomps off into the kitchen. We just all stand there in silence for a few moments.

"I'm so sorry," my aunt says. "He promised he wouldn't say anything."

"It's okay," I say to them. "Thank you for the lovely evening. Shall we go, Mom?"

"Let's."

"So you love boys?" The voice startles me. It's the four year old. She popped out of nowhere.

"I do. In fact, I love this guy right here," I say taking Noah's hand.

"Are you two going to get married?" she asks.

"That's enough questions," my aunt says pulling her back.

That makes me smile. Kids are so funny. There have no filter. They ask whatever they want. "One day."

"Can I be the flower girl? Please? I'm really good at it!" she says, her eyes going wide.

"Of course," Noah says. "But, you're going to have to wait a bit, okay?"

"Okay," she says with a smile.

What a night! I can't believe my family. When we are back at home I ask Noah what got into him. He says it just came out. It was what he wanted to say to his mom but never found the courage. Tonight he did. And tonight I am going to reward him for it. This may sound weird, but I am super horny. Seeing Noah stand up for us was a major turn on. It's going to be a long, sweaty night.

— Present Day —

"Hey, I'm home," I call out as I walk into our apartment.

"Stop right where you are!" Noah yells as he comes out of the bedroom. "Close your eyes. I have a surprise for you."

"Oooh, I like surprises. Is it hot, dirty sex?" I ask.

"How did you know? Look I even trust you enough not to put a blindfold on you."

"Yeah, yeah, that day was awesome."

"Okay, follow me over here ..."

The space isn't big. Basically when you walk in, you're in the kitchen. It's all along one wall. If you walk straight ahead there is a bit of room for a sofa and TV. That leads out to the balcony. The bedroom is off to one side, and the washroom the other. It's less than 500 square feet. It's small, but cosy. Besides, we don't need that much space.

"Oh, I'm so excited. Is it a new car? I'm guessing new car!" I say.

"Yeah. And a unicorn to go along with it. Okay, stop here. Open your eyes."

I open my eyes to see a set of piercing dark eyes staring back at me. On the wall is a picture of a grey wolf in the snow. It's hanging in our bedroom, just over our bed. It is absolutely beautiful. "Wow. That's really cool. I like it."

"And look in the family room," he says.

I step outside to see two framed pictures on the wall. One is the picture I gave Noah on Valentine's Day. The other is the one I took on my deck, the day we got back together. "You put both up?"

"Yep, one to remind us of our past, and the other our future."

"I like it. Good job, man! But I have to say, I really like that wolf picture."

"I thought it would be fitting."

"A tribute to my carnal, animalistic, sexual prowess in the bedroom?" I say.

"Absolutely," he says rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

"How is it fitting?"

"It's how we met," he says.

"What? We didn't meet through a wolf." What is he talking about? I'm confused.

*** NOAH ***

— Present Day —

Oh, Jordan. He doesn't remember anything! Clearly I'm going to have to spell this out for him.

"English class. Presentation. Mrs. Dalloway. Virginia ..."

"Woolf! Of course. Ah, that's clever of you."

"I thought so. Also, I think I have an idea for a dog's name too."

"Is it Woolfy?"

"You know what, I thought of that, but no. He doesn't look like a wolf."

"He doesn't. So what is it then?"

"It's not the most traditional name ... but what do you think about Evan."

"Evan? Why Evan?" he asks.

"Honestly, Jordan, do you ever remember anything!?"

"I do usually ... sometimes ... maybe ... never ..."

"Septimus was in love with ..."

And there's the light bulb. "Evans! Right. Gotcha."

"Woolf describes their relationship like `two dogs playing on a hearth-rug'. And given how the book brought us together, I thought the name makes sense. It sort of reflects us in a way. But we would drop the letter 's'. What do you think?"

"Not traditional ... but, I guess we aren't really traditional either. I like it. Evan it is."

"See, I knew we would get there!"

"Side question, how in the world do you remember quotes from the book?"

"Because I'm awesome," I say.

"Nerd."

Evan. It feels right.

It's interesting how much we struggle to find the right word to call someone. You want a name to be perfect. It's how you identify yourself, how the world sees you. Yet, in the end, often we don't even use a person's name. We call them by a nickname, or use words of endearment or a title. What we call someone isn't insignificant. It can signal what our relationship is to them. I'm still getting used to the new title I have for Jordan. I must say I do like it. But, figuring out what to call someone can be a minefield sometimes. Trust me, I know. It led to a rather interesting conversation with Jordan's mom the morning I left Montreal to go back home ...

— Tuesday, August 19th —

I can't sleep. I keep tossing and turning in bed and waking up Jordan. He doesn't say anything, but I'm sure he is getting annoyed. I'm just nervous. I'm so comfortable here, in Jordan's bed, in his house, in his city ... I've built this mini-life that is perfect. Now I'm going to leave it and enter into an abyss. I don't know what to expect when I visit my parents' place. I figure my mom won't be hostile like she was before, but I also know she won't have an epiphany either and see the light. I'm okay if she doesn't change her mind. It's okay. But it would make life so much easier if she does.

At about 5 a.m. I give up and get out of bed. I go downstairs to make myself some tea. His mom is already there. She is back on her early shifts.

"Morning," I say to her.

"Good morning. Couldn't sleep?"

"No."

"Would you like some tea?"

"That's okay, I can grab it."

She smiles. "It's your last day here; it's the least I can do."

"Thank you." She really is sweet. Since Jordan's mom works, and Jordan went back to work too, I usually was the only one home. I had a lot of free time. I would cook dinner almost every day. His mom was mortified at first. She felt I was a guest and should relax. But I argued that if really I am a member of the family then she would let me help. She didn't say anything again after that.

"Are you all ready to go?"

"Yeah. I packed last night."

"You know you don't have to leave. You're more than welcome to stay."

"I know ... I just ... I need to go."

"You're a strong man, Noah. You'll be okay."

"Thank you."

"And it doesn't matter what your mom or anyone else says, you always have us."

"I know," I say with a smile.

"Can I ask you something?" she says as she puts her mug down on the table.

"Of course."

"I've noticed something these past few weeks. I wasn't going to bring it up ... but given everything that's happened ... I thought I would. You don't ever say my name. You usually say ma'am, or Jordan's mom, Ms. Young, or you refer to me indirectly."

It's true, I don't use her name. She told me I could call her by her first name, but I felt that was too impolite. My parents always taught us not to call our elders by their first name. They said call them Aunt or Uncle. But those options seem weird to me as well. I honestly don't know what to call her. Even Jordan picked up on it. We argued about it too. "I was hoping you wouldn't notice. I didn't mean any disrespect ... I just wasn't sure what to call you."

She smiles. "I know you didn't mean anything by it. If I could be so bold ... given what happened this past weekend ... you could call me mom. I'm not trying to replace your mom of course," she says quickly, "she will always have her own place, but you've become like a son to me ... or well, you are a son to me ... and ma'am or Ms. Young doesn't feel right."

I never thought about calling another woman `mom'. I've only ever used it for one person. The idea feels weird to me. But maybe it's time for a change. We often take titles for granted. Just because you have them, doesn't mean you've earned them. Take the word mother, for instance. A woman gets that title the moment she gives birth to a child. It makes sense, she does become a mother. But being a mom is more than just giving birth. It comes with certain responsibilities. And if you don't carry them out, do you still have the right to be called mom? Biology isn't enough; you have to act like a mom too. Jordan's mom isn't my biological mom. She never will be. But she treated me like a mom is supposed to treat her son. She went out of her way to make me feel like I was part of her family. So, doesn't she have the right to be called mom?

"I'd be honoured to call you mom."

She gives me a big hug. "You're a good man, Noah. Your mom will see it. Don't worry."

I hope so.

— Present Day —

"You ate all the cheese again!" I yell as I close the fridge door.

"What? No I didn't."

"Yes, you did! I bought some to add to the lasagna, but there isn't any here. I didn't eat it, I'm sure the dog didn't eat it ... so by process of elimination ..."

"It was Jenn."

"Right, she used her invisibility cloak to sneak into the house, eat all the cheese, and leave."

"Exactly."

I just stare at him shaking my head. He tries to smile and act all innocent. "What am I going to do with you, Jordan?"

"Love and feed me?" he says smiling.

"Yeah, sure. I'm just going to go grab some more from the store. Try not to eat the lasagna sheets while I'm gone."

He makes a face at me. "You're funny."

Ah, Jordan. He's lucky I love him, otherwise I'd so throw something at him. Actually, I'm still going to throw something at him later tonight. The good thing is the grocery store is not even five minutes away. I can easily run out and grab what I need.

As I step outside I notice the sun is starting to set. The clear blue sky is filled with streaks of pink and purple. As much as I love the sunrise, sunset is my favourite time of the day. There is just something about twilight that is so enchanting. It will always remind me of one of the best days of my life.

*** JORDAN ***

— Present Day —

"Jenn!" I say opening the door. "Glad you could make it."

"Would I ever miss a chance to have free food?" she asks.

"No."

"Hey, there's my favourite nameless dog," she says petting Evan.

"He has a name!"

"What? You two finally agreed on something! I thought you were just going to have to settle on `Dog'."

"That was a strong possibility."

"So, what ingenious name did you two come up with?"

"Evan."

"Evan ... not your typical dog name, but it's nice," she says.

"We're not typical people."

"Touché. Why Evan?"

"Evan was one of the characters in the book Noah and I read in English class, the one we presented on. It sort of reflects our past."

"Oh, that's cool. Let me guess, Noah came up with it?"

"Yup."

"And where is your better half anyway?"

"Gone to grab some more cheese for the lasagna. The dog ate all of it ..."

"Ha! Sure he did. So how many people are coming tonight?"

"Not many, I think maybe 12. A few volleyball friends, some other people I know from school, Eli might come, and Noah invited a few other people as well."

"Oh, cool. Is John coming?" she asks.

"No ... I figured Noah told you."

"He didn't say anything. What's wrong?"

"Oh, well, you actually won't be seeing him around anymore. He doesn't want to have gay friends."

"What? He said that."

"Pretty much."

"Really? He seemed like a cool guy."

"I thought so too. I texted him a week ago to see how he was. He pretty much said he couldn't believe I'm a `Fucking Fag' and to keep away." That is the stripped down version of what happened. He said a lot more. I can't believe I was ever his friend.

"Wow, what an ass," Jenn says. "Do you want me to beat him up?"

I smile. "No, I'm okay. If someone doesn't want to hang out with me then that's fine. Besides, I have enough crazy friends to keep me company. And speaking of crazy, looks like Noah's home."

—

Slowly over the next hour the rest of the group starts to arrive. It's a small, intimate gathering. We didn't want to invite too many people because it's a bit hard to manage, and our place isn't that big. We are on a student budget, after all! Most of the people here didn't know I was dating Noah; they only found out through Facebook. I was expecting a lot of questions or comments, but nothing. Everyone is super chill and easygoing.

"Ah, man, I can't believe you won't be the captain this year," one of my teammates, Liam, says to me. He wanted me to run and was disappointed when I dropped out.

"Chris will be fine," I say. Chris is of course Sebastian's friend. Sebastian. I haven't thought about him in months.

He just stares at me. "Sure. And pigs can fly."

"So, do you want to know the real reason I pulled out?" I ask my teammates. "It wasn't because of schoolwork."

"I didn't believe that for a second," Liam says. "What happened?"

"Sebastian threatened to out Noah and me if I didn't back down ... and at that time Noah's parents didn't know about us ... so I dropped out."

They all just stare at me, shocked. "What the fuck!" one of them says. "I knew Sebastian was a douche."

"That he was," I say.

"That is totally messed up! How did he know about you two?" Liam asks.

"He saw us together one night at a gay club, and he had a video."

"That is so messed up. That's like out of a soap opera or something," another says.

"Yeah, it is."

"You need to tell the coach that," Liam says. "We should re-vote, it's not too late."

"Yeah, Chris should be kicked off the team for that!" another says.

"It wasn't Chris's fault," I say. "And besides, I don't even know if he was involved. I think it was just Sebastian's idea ... he didn't really like me, as you all know. Besides, it's done now. Sebastian's gone and I'm over it, and I think it's time we just move on. I'm sure this year will be great."

"I'm still going to throw the ball at Chris when he's not looking," Liam says.

"If that makes you feel better, go right ahead," I say laughing.

"So ... were you ever checking us out in the locker room?" Liam asks jokingly. I knew this was going to come up at one point in time. "I am pretty irresistible."

"I only had eyes for you, Liam. Don't you know I have a huge man-crush on you?" I try to keep a straight face, but I can't. I guess nothing about me is straight anymore.

"Well, obviously you do, come on, look at me!" he says laughing. "But you're a committed man now - you keep your eyes on Noah."

"Don't worry, I will."

"He's a good guy, I like him," Liam says referring to Noah.

"He is."

"And not a bad cook! That lasagna was amazing," another chimes in. "You got lucky, dude."

"I really did!"

"Hey," Noah says walking over to us, "we're just going to have dessert if you guys want to grab some."

"What do you have?" one of them asks.

"Ice cream cake."

"Awesome!" Liam says getting up. "What are we celebrating?"

"Our new place, a new school year, and us," I say putting my arm around Noah's waist. I can't wait to tell them. This is going to be fun.

*** NOAH ***

— Present Day —

"So have you heard from her again?" Jenn asks me as I'm cutting slices of cake.

"No, I haven't."

She's talking about my mom. I saw her last week when I was back in Vancouver. I flew to my brother's place from Montreal. I spent a few days with them, then we all drove down to my parents' house. We got there on Saturday evening. My sister and her family were there too. We stayed all of Sunday. I flew out the next day. It's now Saturday. I haven't spoken to her since.

"Do you think she'll call?" she asks.

Will she? I don't know. I can't tell. I keep telling myself to stop thinking about it. The ball is in her court, and there is nothing I can do. But that is easier said than done.

—- Saturday, August 23rd —

The entire way here I felt strong. I kept telling myself I could do this. And I believed it. But when my parents' house comes into view my stomach starts to churn. Seeing this place reminds me of the night I came out and the hatred I got from my own mother. I'm not sure I will ever forget that night, no matter what happens. This house will never be the same again. I hope I'm wrong. I hope it can become my home again, a place where I feel loved and respected. I'm doubtful, but maybe.

I say a little prayer before I walk in. I'm not super religious like my parents are. But I figure there is no harm in trying. Maybe there is a higher power out there that will listen to me. When I walk in I notice my dad. He gives me a hug and welcomes me back. My mom is standing beside him.

"Hi, Mom," I say.

"Hi, Noah," she says. She doesn't give me a hug. In the past she would have. Clearly we still have a lot of work to do.

That night I barely talk to her. We say a few lines here and there but not much. She is busy cooking, and the kids are running around. I haven't seen my sister in months, so I spend time with her and her children. At dinner my mom and I sit at opposite ends of the table. Everyone can feel there is tension in the air, but we don't bring it up. I want to, but I also don't want to. Who knows, this very well could be the last time we all sit down together and eat as one family. The thought depresses me. I hope it doesn't come to that. But I'm prepared to walk away if I have to. I know my siblings will understand. My dad won't though.

After dinner my siblings take their kids upstairs to put them to bed. I stay downstairs in the kitchen. I want to get this over with. I don't want to drag this out over the next two days. My mom doesn't say anything at first. She just tidies up the kitchen. My dad sits silently at the table. I guess I'll have to get the ball rolling.

"So ..." I say. My mom continues to do her work. My dad looks at me. He's not sure what to say. "I'm here now ... we should talk." Silence. "I'm willing to give this another shot, but it can't just come from me ... I need to know you're also willing to give this a shot too."

My mom turns to look at me. "I want you to move back home."

"Why?" I already know why.

"So that you're close to your family. There are good schools here, you can study whatever you want, we won't stop you. We will pay for everything. Just come back home, Noah."

"That's not going to change anything," I say.

"It might."

"The only way I'm ever coming back home is if Jordan is with me," I say.

She closes her eyes. Clearly that's not the answer she wanted to hear. "I only want what's best for you."

"He is what's best for me."

She starts to cry. It's not hysterical crying, but slow and quiet. I can tell she is deeply hurt. "Think about your future, the afterlife."

"I know you're scared, but this is the right choice. I can't change who I am."

"Don't turn your back on your family."

"I'm not turning my back on anyone, you are. I want to be a part of this family, but I can only do that if I am true to myself. Don't you want me to be happy?"

"I'm your mother, of course I do."

"I've never been happier than I have been with Jordan. I've never felt this way about anyone, and I never will."

"But you can try. We can work together."

"It won't help."

"You don't know that," she says in between tears. "You don't know how difficult these past few weeks have been. I can't eat properly, my blood pressure is high ..."

The guilt trip. "I know this is hard on you. But have you thought about how hard this is on me? My mom rejected me. My own mom. I thought you loved me more than that. In the past, whenever you asked me for anything, I did it. I always listened to you. I've been a good son. I've lived up to all my responsibilities. Yet when I needed you the most, you threw me out. How do you think that made me feel?"

"I did it so you could see the right path."

"Do you know what Jordan's mom said when she saw the picture of us together? She said we look perfect together. She threw her arms open and accepted her son. That is what a mom does. You ... you didn't do that."

"You say you always listen to me, listen to me now."

"I would do anything for you, Mom, and you know that. But not this time. I'm not giving up Jordan for you. Not now, not ever."

"So you pick him over me."

"It's not like that. It doesn't have to be one or the other. It can be both."

"Ever since you put that picture up online people in the family have been calling me. It's all my friends ask me about. You don't know the things people are saying. I go to church and people tell me you'll burn in hell. It's ..." she trails off.

"Look, I understand that this isn't easy for you. I know people will be judgmental. And I am sorry for that. I never wanted to hurt you or cause you pain. Honestly, you have to believe me. I tried to change, Mom, I really did. But this is who I am." I pause for a moment. "Even if I moved back, and tried to date girls, I would be miserable. I would ruin my life and someone else's life. Do you really want that? Is that fair to another girl, that I only marry her to appease you, even though I don't love her? It's not. And I'm not going to do that to anyone. It's not right."

My mom doesn't say anything. She knows I am right. She just sighs. "I have to throw in the laundry."

The laundry. Clearly that's more important. She doesn't know what to say. She's backed into a corner and is looking to find a way to get out. "Fine. Do your laundry ... whatever."

I walk out of the kitchen before she can say anything else.

—

I spent the next day mostly with my siblings out of the house. I have a bunch of errands I need to run. There is a good chance I may never come back to this city again. Plus, I'm avoiding my mom. I don't want to have part two of that conversation. But it's one house and people talk. My brother and sister both asked her how our conversation went. All she would say is that they need to persuade me to come back home. So it seems like she hasn't changed her mind.

After dinner my brother-in-law and sister-in-law take all the children upstairs. My brother and sister asked them to give us some time to talk as a family. I told my siblings not to bother, but they won't listen. They say they aren't going to let the family split up. I have nothing to lose, I guess.

"Did you think about what Noah said last night?" my brother asks my mom.

"I did," she says.

"And?" he says back to her.

"My friend Linda has a really nice daughter, you'd —"

Surprisingly, my dad is the one to cut her off. "Enough! We've talked about that. He's not going to marry a girl."

"But if he tried —"

"I told you this is pointless," I say.

My brother and sister both start arguing with our mom. It's pretty much the same conversation we had last night. She basically just repeats herself.

"Look, Mom," I say interrupting everyone. "I don't want to argue with you. This is simple. I'm never going to leave Jordan, so there is no point in you trying to convince me otherwise. It's already too late for that as it is. What I need to know from you is if I can count on you. Can you accept me for who I am? Can you open this house and welcome Jordan into it? I understand it will take time. I'm not asking you to change today, or tomorrow, or even next week. But eventually you will have to learn to accept me for who I am. You will need to accept you have a gay son. If you promise me that you will try, I will keep the doors of communication open, and I will try my best to make this easier for you. But, if you tell me that you can't accept me, not today, not tomorrow, not ever ... then there is no point in any of this. Then I will walk out of this house tomorrow morning and I will never return, and the only person you have to blame for that is you." She doesn't say anything. No one says anything.

"If Jordan leaves, I'm leaving too and never coming back," my brother says.

"Same with me," my sister adds in.

Both my parents look shocked. Dread overtakes time. It's sweet of my siblings to say that, but it's not right.

"No you won't," I say. "You'll stay."

"If there isn't room for you in this house, there isn't room for me or my family either," my brother says.

"Look, I appreciate you saying that, but that's not the answer. The kids deserve to know their grandparents. I don't want to be the reason they grow up not knowing them. Plus, Dad has done nothing wrong. He shouldn't be punished. And I don't want to force anyone into loving me. I don't want Mom to say she will just because of you. I want her to do it because she wants to. You guys will stay."

"The ball is in your court, Mom," my sister says.

She doesn't say anything.

"Look, I understand this is a lot to take in. But this is the reality. Either you accept me, or lose me forever. Think about it. You have until tomorrow morning to give me an answer. I leave the house at nine for the airport."

I'm about to leave the room when my dad says something. "What did you mean when you said earlier it was too late for you to leave Jordan? What have you done?"

I didn't want to bring this up. That line slipped out of my mouth. But I guess I have no choice now. This is going to be interesting.

— Present Day —

I would love to say my mom came around, but she didn't. I didn't talk to her the next day. All she would say to my siblings was to give her time. Give her time for what, I don't know.

"Can you pass those cups from over there?" I ask Jordan.

"Sure, here," he says handing them over.

Cleaning up after you spent all day cleaning is so annoying. I wish people would throw their stupid napkins away at least! So gross.

"It was a good party," I say to him.

"Yeah. It was a lot of fun."

"Did you notice the flirtation going on?"

"Between who?" he asks. I can see he is curious.

"You didn't notice? It was so obvious!"

"Well, clearly I didn't. Whom were you flirting with?" he jokes.

"Liam was flirting with Jenn. I think he likes her."

"Oh, hmm."

"What?" He's clearly thinking something.

"Nothing. My gaydar is really bad ... but I kind of thought he was on our team."

"Really? I don't know. I never paid attention. From what I could tell tonight, he was into Jenn."

"You're probably right. The two would actually make a good pair."

"They would. He's a really quirky guy, and that is saying a lot coming from me."

*** JORDAN ***

— Present Day —

"Are you coming to bed?" I yell at Noah.

"In a minute," he yells from the other room.

"We can finish cleaning tomorrow," I say. It's close to midnight, and I am exhausted. I was hoping for some loving tonight, but I know that isn't going to happen. Poor, poor, pitiful me.

"I'm done, I'm done," he says coming into the room. He plops down on the bed beside me. "I'm beat."

"It's been a long day. Tonight was fun. I'm glad we had everyone over."

"Yeah, it was nice. I'm just glad that we are finally settled in."

"We should celebrate," I say as I extend my hand out to find his dick. I start to rub his crotch through his pyjamas. A guy has to try! Much to my surprise he doesn't say anything. Instead he puts his hand on my dick too! I'm gonna score tonight!

My dream though is cut short when Evan decides to jump on the bed and lie down right between us.

"I guess you're out of luck tonight," Noah says to me.

"It's okay, I have a lifetime to bug you."

— Sunday, August 17th —

Tranquil, serene, peaceful. There is no one word that encapsulates how to describe the beauty radiating before us. The sunlight shimmers on the lake as the sun slowly sinks in between two lush mountains. The dying light unleashes streaks of pink and purple into the sky. They melt into the soft hues of blue. Below us, night is falling over the European-styled village in Mont-Tremblant. I couldn't have asked for a better backdrop.

"You really know how to impress a guy," Noah says to me. "This is just amazing."

"I know. I brought you here because I have something I want to ask you," I say to him. I didn't think I would be this nervous.

"I think I know what you want to ask."

He does? How could he know? I'll humour him. "You do? Please share."

"You were going to ask me: voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?"

"I don't need to ask you that, je sais que votre réponse est oui." Noah doesn't really speak much French, but he is trying to pick it up. He asked me if I wanted to sleep with him tonight. The only reason he knows that line is because of the famous song. I think it's the only full sentence he knows. He has a long way to go.

Having no idea what I just said, Noah changes track. "So, what did you want to ask?"

"Let me show you something first." I take out a picture and hand it to him.

"He's cute. Who is he?"

"It's a dog."

"I know that. Whose dog is it?"

"He can be ours."

"Ours? Is that what you're so nervous about asking me, about getting a dog together?" He smiles.

"No, that's not what I want to ask you at all."

"Okay?" he says looking confused.

"Do you remember what I said to you on your birthday, when we were watching the sunrise on Mont-Royal?"

"Uh, you mentioned that it made you feel alive."

"I did. I also said that it gives you hope and optimism that the future will be just as bright and magnificent."

"I remember you saying that."

"The sunset is the opposite in many ways, the light is fading away. Darkness will soon surround us."

"There are lights for that, Mr. Philosophical," he says trying to make a joke. He is really confused. Good.

"There are, yes. But I don't need a light. All I need is you. I want our future to be bright and magnificent. I want it to be full of optimism, hope, and above all, happiness and love. And there's only one way I see that happening ... with you by my side."

"I'm not planning on going anywhere," he says. I can see the wheels are starting to turn in his head. He's thinking about it. But he's like, no, he can't be thinking that. "If this is about me seeing my mom next week and leaving you again, that's not going to happen."

I smile. "I know, and that's not what this is about. I trust you, and I know you're not going anywhere." I pause. "I love you, Noah. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you by my side when we're at school, when we graduate, when we travel the world, when we grow old together. I want you there for everything. The good and the bad. I want the world to know we're one, and I can't think of a better way. I know this is a big step for us, and that we're still really young, but I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I'm not trying to pressure you; you can say no and that's fine, I won't get angry or be upset. I'll love you regardless of whatever you say." Though I hope you say yes! Okay. This is it. I take his hand in mine. "That leads me to my real question. Noah Quinn Watson, will you marry me?"

His eyes go wide. His mouth opens but no words come out. Instead his lips curl. "Yes."

"Yes, what?" I say to bug him.

"Yes, Jordan Juliet Young, I will marry you."

— Present Day —

I smile at Noah as he gently pets Evan. I'm glad we got him. I didn't want to get engagement rings because I didn't want to be traditional. Noah and I are far from traditional. We may get rings one day, maybe when we marry. But we can worry about that later. We talked about it, and we both feel that we should wait. We're not in any rush. Don't get me wrong, I would marry Noah tomorrow, I have no doubts about him, but I think we both feel we should build up our lives together. We should finish school, save up, buy a place, travel, and then when we have the money, go off to an exotic location and get hitched.

Noah rolls off the bed and grabs something from the table. "Here, boy, look what I have. I got you a present," he says showing Evan a new bone. "Who's a good boy? Come, come here." He takes him out of the room and puts the bone somewhere. "That's a good boy. I'll come back for you in a bit."

"The dog gets a gift but not me, I see how it is," I say as he closes the door behind him.

"Don't be jealous. I didn't forget about you. Your gift is right here," he says as he loses his shirt, pyjamas, and underwear. Clothes are so overrated.

I like my present way better. Noah climbs back into bed, bringing his face to mine. As he leans in to kiss me, I wrap my arms around him, pressing his body against mine. With one swift motion, I flip him onto his back and roll on top of him. I'm still much stronger than he is. My lips are back on his almost instantly. I spend the next few minutes worshipping his body and feeling every inch of his soft skin with my tongue and hands. Eventually I make my way down to my prize - his beautiful dick. I start at the bottom, moving my tongue up until I reach the top. I'm greeted by a pool of precum. Salty, like usual. I envelop his dick with my mouth, taking it all in. I've become good at this. No more gagging or using teeth like the first time. Noah moans my name softly. There is no better sound.

When I break it off Noah thinks it is his turn to have his fun with me. But not yet. Instead I reach into the nightstand and grab a bottle of lube. I spread some over his dick and my hole. Noah just looks at me a bit surprised. I'm not on the receiving end that much, but the way he is looking at me it is like this is the first time. It's not because I don't like to, I do. I love having Noah inside me. But it's usually because Noah loves it when I fuck him even more. The compromises we make for love, right?

I place one hand on the headboard, while with the other I position his dick again my hole. I slowly lower my body onto his erect penis. It pushes in, returning to a familiar place. I throw my head back and bite my lower lip as I start to pick up the pace. I bring my body up, and eagerly back down, letting his manhood fill me. Soon Noah starts to thrust upwards as well, hitting me deep inside. "Oh fuck!"

When my legs get tired I flip onto my back and bring my legs up to my chest. Noah is there guiding his cock back into me. Now that he is in control he is going faster, and harder. He knows just how I like it. Our eyes lock as he makes love to me. Each thrust makes my toes curl. Each thrust makes me want to moan. Each thrust makes me want to have him even more.

Have your fun Noah. My turn is next.

—

I know it's a bit creepy but I can't help it. I watch Noah as he sleeps beside me, his head resting on his arm. A few strands of hair have fallen across his forehead. He's been growing his hair these past few weeks. I like it. It's different for him. His bare chest slowly moves up and down. He looks peaceful. This is the man I am going to wake up beside every single day. The only man I will ever share a bed with. I know the old Jordan would have freaked out by that thought. Commitment is a scary word. But, the present Jordan, the man I have become, he's not afraid to commit. Not even remotely. I'm excited. I'm excited to wake up next to him every day, excited to have him in my bed. Excited to have someone to love. I'm just afraid I won't live up to his expectation, or be the man he deserves.

It's crazy how much your life can change in just one year. If someone had told me last year that in a few months I would be lying in bed with my fiancé, I would have thought they were on crack. Yet, here I am. I remember this time last year, school was just about to begin. I had come back to university after spending part of the summer with my dad. I was settling into my small dorm room and was still dating Kate. Fast forward one year: my dad is gone, Kate, and all the other girls, are no longer in the picture, and neither is that dorm room. It feels like I've done a 180-degree turn. While there have been many bumps along the way, I couldn't be happier.

I often think back to that night in the gym; the night I saw Noah sitting on the bleachers. The night my world changed. I remember how scared I was. Scared that I had lost him, that I would never see him again. I also remember kissing him for the first time. How it felt when our lips finally met. It felt right. It felt like that is where I was supposed to be. That was the biggest risk I ever took in my life. It changed everything. Not all risks are worth taking. Some can lead you down dark and dangerous paths. But not that one. That one was the best decision I ever made. Sometimes taking the uncharted road can lead to the best outcome. Kissing Noah led me down a path of self-awareness. I've learned more about myself in these past few months than I have in the past few years. I've matured. I've grown. I've learned that love knows no limits, no gender or form. It can present itself in any shape, or manifest itself in any person, male or female. We just have to be brave enough to embrace it when we see it.

It's been a long journey for the two of us. We've had our ups and down, our good and bad moments. But it's been worth it. I wouldn't change anything. The obstacles we faced made us who we are today. They made us stronger. I would do it all again in a heartbeat. This was the right path. It led us to where we belong. Noah and I are finally home.

*** NOAH ***

— Date ??? —

I'm woken up by a noise.

"Sorry, sorry, go back to sleep, I'll be quiet," Jordan says to me.

"What time is it?"

"Six in the morning."

"What are you doing up so early?" A lot has changed in our lives but one thing hasn't — Jordan still struggles to get out of bed.

"I couldn't sleep."

"I only fell asleep a few hours ago," I say to him.

"I know. Go back to bed, we still have time."

Usually I am the one up super early and yelling at Jordan. That is always our routine. Not today. I didn't get much sleep last night. That is partly Jordan's fault. We were up late last night. No, not because of that. Well, yeah there was sex, obviously, but we were up late talking. Today is a big day. I was so anxious last night I couldn't sleep. Yet, now I only feel excited.

"It's okay, I'm getting up. I still have to iron my clothes, shower, and shave."

"I've already taken out your clothes and ironed them."

"You what?" I say sitting up.

"I ironed them. I put them right over there. Don't act so surprised."

"You've never ironed my clothes before."

"I'm sure I have at least once," he says to me.

"I don't think so."

"Well, you're welcome."

I can tell he is excited too. This is a momentous day for us. We've talked about it for months, and it is finally here. We're standing at the threshold. Once we take this step there is no turning back. After this everything will be different. Our bond will be even stronger.

I get out of bed and walk over towards Jordan. He is furiously looking through a drawer trying to find something. He doesn't even notice me behind him. I wrap my arms around him, making him jump just a bit. I press my chest against his back.

"It's all going to be okay, don't worry."

"I know," he says. "It's just that we've been planning this for so long now and it's finally happening ... I just don't want anything to go wrong. Say if I don't —"

I cut him off. "Everything will be fine. Since when do you worry about these things? That's my job!" Jordan is always so calm. It's sort of touching to see him so vulnerable.

"I'm not worried. I have you. I'll be okay."

This has been one incredible journey. I couldn't have done it without Jordan. He's been my rock all these years. He never let me fall. He was there when I graduated and when I started my master's degree. He supported me when I decided to go to teacher's college. I remember he walked me to work on my first day. I was so nervous. I didn't know what to expect teaching history to high school students. I was petrified that I would say something dumb, or do something stupid. But Jordan kept me calm the whole way there. He kept telling jokes, making me laugh. He told me he had faith in me and knew I would be a fantastic teacher. It was just what I needed to hear.

I was also there for him when he became captain of the volleyball team in his fourth year and when the team won the provincial championship! I was there when he graduated, and the day he got his acceptance letter for medical school. Oh, we celebrated that night. Probably some of the best sex we have ever had, hands down. The weeks leading up to that day were nerve-wracking. Jordan is always so calm and collected, but I could tell he was stressed out. It was his dream, and he didn't know what he would do if he didn't get in. He worked so hard, and has continued to do so ever since that day. The past few years haven't been easy. He's been super busy with school and assignments. But he made it through. He's about to start his residency at a hospital nearby. I would love to say he is almost done, but I don't think that's the case. He wants to specialize in paediatrics.

"Where is Jenn?" I ask Jordan as we are at the door. Evan is sitting beside us. He thinks he is coming too. Not today, buddy.

"She texted me. She is running late. She'll be here in a few minutes."

Then there is Jenn. She hasn't changed a bit. Not one bit. I'm not surprised she is running late. After she graduated, she went back to school to get her master's degree in journalism. She's been working for a media outlet ever since. Oh, and how could I forget, she got married! So which poor soul agreed to settle down with her? Well, come on, who else? It was so obvious they liked each other. I'm talking about Aiden, of course. After he finished school he moved back to Canada from Australia. He originally went to Montreal for a bit, but then moved down here. One week later the two were dating. About a year ago they took the plunge.

"Did you get all the stuff we need?" Jordan asks me.

"Yep, I have everything."

"Including the passports and tickets? We'll need those —"

"Jordan," I say cutting him off. "I have everything, trust me."

"Okay," he says.

We step outside of our apartment. Jenn is there waiting in her shiny new car. We don't have one. We've been saving for today. Plus, you can't really buy expensive things when your partner has huge student loans. But we don't even need one. We're still living in the city, though not right in downtown. We moved out east a bit. This place is closer to my work and not too far from the hospital. There was a chance we would have had to leave this city. At first, Jordan was offered a placement in Montreal. The transfer would have been easy for him because he is fluent in French, but it would have been a problem for me. I've taken some French classes along the way, and I can speak a bit, but not enough to teach. There are English-speaking schools, but not as many jobs. In the end though, we didn't have to move. Jordan got a placement here as well. I'm glad we stayed. This is our city. It is where we found each other, and found ourselves. It's where we fell in love. Toronto is home. It always will be.

"Aiden just texted me," Jenn says. "They just left."

Aiden is bringing Jordan's mom. She came to Toronto a few days ago. My family is flying from B.C., including my mom. I'm glad she is coming. There was a time I thought I would have to do this without her, that she would never accept me. But I am glad to say that is not the case. My mom did eventually call me back. She was hesitant at first. It was hard for her to ignore her religious upbringing. But once I told her Jordan and I were engaged she knew she had to. She said she would try her best, and she did. I wasn't expecting an overnight miracle. It took her time to really get comfortable with the idea of having a gay son. She wouldn't even use that word for years. She still doesn't really. But that is okay, I know mentally she has accepted it.

Now, while she accepted me, she didn't accept Jordan right away. That was a different obstacle to overcome. She absolutely hated him. She blamed him for everything. She felt it was his fault that I am gay. Well, actually, if you had to argue it, I would say I am the reason Jordan realized he is gay, but that's not the point. The point is that he really had to work to win her over. I still remember the first time my mom met Jordan. It was a few months after we got back together. I took him back home to Vancouver for Christmas. My siblings were also there. I was so nervous I thought I would puke. But Jordan, he was his carefree self like always (though I know deep down he was worried). He wanted to impress my parents and siblings. My dad got along with him right off the bat and so did my siblings. But, it took Jordan a long time to win over my mom. A long time. Most people would have abandoned ship, but not Jordan. Not once did he complain about how badly my mom treated him, or say he would give up. He knew how much it meant to me and so he worked harder every time. It's one of the reasons why I love him. Eventually, their relationship started to improve. I'm happy to say today they are at a much better place. My mom even brags about her doctor son-in-law sometimes. She even called him son the other day. That was big.

"Hey, Noah, did you forget this folder in the car?" Jenn asks as she locks up. Before I can even answer she flips it open and sees the paper inside. "Oh my God! Finally! This is so much better than I ever expected." She starts to laugh.

I look at Jordan. Oops. I think she knows. "Give me that," I say to her.

"That stays between us!" Jordan says to her.

"But it is awesome! And so fitting for you. I'm so going to use it."

"And if you do you'll see what happens," he says.

"I have to know — why did your parents choose Juliet as your middle name?"

"They didn't. It is supposed to be Julien," Jordan says in a very sexy French accent. "It was my grandfather's name. But somehow the 'n' got mistaken for a 't' and it was printed that way on my birth certificate. And because my dad was lazy, he never changed it. So it stayed as Juliet."

"It's perfect," Jenn says with a huge grin. She is going to enjoy this. "I'm going to call you two Romeo and Juliet from now on."

Jordan just glares at her. Poor guy. He's never going to live this down.

It's funny how we fret over the right name. It is one of the hardest decisions we make. You don't want to pick the wrong one. Your name is part of your identity. It's how the world knows you. Yet, most of us don't even pick our own names. It's something we have no say in. It's given to us at birth. And it (usually) stays with us forever. Nicknames are added along the way, usually to our annoyance. Titles come too. You become a husband when you get married, and a father when you have a child. Jordan and I are about to add one of those titles. It's time. We're ready.

"Shall we?" Jordan asks me.

"Absolutely. I love you, Jordan."

"I love you too, Noah."

It's moments like today that stick with you. Those life altering experiences that shape your destiny. Whether it's coming out, An engagement, A wedding day, Or the birth of a child, These are the milestones that change everything. The ones that bring us joy, Yet also the ones that fill us with fear. We spend years fretting over them. Planning and re-planning. Hoping and praying. Praying that one day we find happiness. It's scary not knowing what's around the corner. Whether we will fall in love, Or find our soulmate. Realizing who we love can be just as scary. It can rock our world, Shake our foundations. Reshape our destiny. But it can also bring a level of joy, we never knew existed. We're traveling down this unmarked path, Guessing each step along the way. That may sound daunting, It may even seem purposeless. But when you have hope, When you are true to yourself, And proud to be in your own skin, The world doesn't seem so scary. Rather, it's when you truly start living.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————

The End.

It's been one long journey. I never imagined I would be writing this story six years later. For everyone who stuck with me, e-mailed me, sent me words of encouragement, thank you. Your words gave me the motivation I needed to continue and finish this story. I hope in the end it lived up to, or exceeded, your expectations.

Thanks again to Lisa for her help along the way and spending her valuable time fixing my many errors. She's been editing this story for four years now! I couldn't have asked for a better editor. And to my friends who gave me feedback, thank you.

This last chapter was extremely difficult to write. I spent weeks on it. So, spend five minutes and let me know what you thought. I always love hearing from readers. Please send any comments, good or bad, positive or negative, to mr_e08@hotmail.com.

Ethan.