The following story is a work of fiction and does not represent any living person. The story contains sex between two consenting adult men. If you are a minor, or it is illegal in your area to read the following story, please leave now. The author retains all rights to the story. Please do not reproduce without prior consent.
Hello all,
Sorry for the delay in posting. It's been a busy few months. Thanks for sticking with me and the story. I hope it was worth the wait. Like always I do want to hear from you about what you think or if you have any feedback. I can be reached at mr_e08@hotmail.com. Good or bad comments are both welcome.
The story was posted in mid-January on the group page. I am over 50% done Chapter 15. I will post a preview and the chapter on the group page I hope in a few weeks. I will post in on Nifty a while after that. The group page is on Yahoo and is called "mrestories."
You can join in two ways: Visit: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mrestories Or send an email to: mrestories-subscribe@yahoogroups.ca You can also send comments through the group page.
Thanks again, and enjoy.
Ethan.
---------- Chapter 14 ----------
*** NOAH ***
His hands are cold. They shake with anticipation. I can feel the sweat on his palms as I tug him along into the bedroom. I look into his eyes, his warm blue eyes. He stares back at me. Deep within him there are conflicting emotions; excitement and lust. A hunger and desire to move our relationship forward; to finally be together. Yet at the same time, concern. Concern perhaps we are rushing; concern this will change the dynamics of our relationship.
Concern for me.
"Are you sure Noah?" he asks me, his voice barely audible.
His eyes give him away. He's real. He cares. I truly am ready to be with him.
I move closer and wrap my left arm around his waist. He places his hand on my lower back. I take my fingers and brush the hair off of his forehead, tracing a line back to his ear, across his cheek, slowly over his moist red lips, down his neck, and finally resting my hand on his shoulder.
I look at him and smile. I bring my lips to his. They lock together as I feel him against me. I give into him. I give into my deepest desires.
Our bodies press together, grinding against one another. I grab on tighter to his waist as his lips devour mine. I can feel his heart beating against me. Our tongues meet. He kisses me more passionately. My hands are all over him. One feels his back - the other runs through his messy hair. My body aches for more.
I break off the kiss. My lips hover close to his. I lean my forehead against his, with the tips of our noses touching. He doesn't let go of me. He holds me close as if his life depends on it. His chest heaves as we both try to catch our breath. That was intense.
"Jordan," I say. "I'm more than sure."
The words are barely out of my mouth as Jordan's lips find mine once again. It's almost like a switch has gone off inside of him. The lust has multiplied. We move to the foot of the bed, as our tongues ferociously battle one another. The passion and heat is insane. Our hands are all over one another. I find the corners of his shirt and pull it over his head. Our lips barely part for a millisecond as I toss his shirt onto the floor.
It's almost impossible to break away from Jordan. His hands are all over me, feeling my back, my ass, my hair. I manage to get my hands on his chest and push him down onto the bed. He lies down flat on his back. I crawl onto the bed, admiring the lines on his body. I place my hands over his head; my knees are by his waist. I bring my head down and find his lips again.
Our lips have met countless times now. Yet each time we touch the same passion burns within me. I move my lips across his cheek and find his ear. I lick his earlobe, taking it into my mouth, chewing on it softly. Jordan lets out a sigh.
As my lips move slowly down his neck, kissing him along the way, I find a nipple and squeeze it between my fingers. It doesn't take long for it to stand at attention. I take in his skin, smelling the musk smell mixed with sweat. His skin tastes salty. His cold skin quivers as heat penetrates into it from my warm lips. My lips pass over his hard pecs, tracing a line around his nipples.
At first I tease him. Brush my lips past them. Then flick them with my tongue. I bite down on them ever so softly. Jordan's body jerks. He wasn't expecting the attack. But I can tell he is enjoying this. He moans in appreciation.
Jordan's body is perfection. His hard pecs lead down to a flat torso, with abs that are defined and toned. I work my way over his six pack. I want to feel each inch of his body, taste every corner, run my tongue over every ridge and curve. There is only one cure to my insatiable appetite - his body.
Jordan remains silent through this onslaught from my tongue but his body speaks volumes. He arches his back as I make my way down. His hands find my head. He runs his fingers through my hair. He is ever so slightly pushing me further down, to the obvious tent waiting in his jeans. His dick is straining to get loose.
As my lips reach his belly button, I place my hand on his jeans, rubbing the fabric against his dick. I unbuckle his belt and pull down the zipper. He lifts up his waist as I pull his jeans off and throw them onto the floor. His dick is fighting against his black cotton boxers for freedom. All in due time.
I move down the bed, so that my knees are just on the edge. I lower my back once more and kiss the top of his dick. I kiss all the way down the shaft.
"Fuck Noah ... that feels ... please ... "
I sit up and look into Jordan's eyes. They beg me to release him. I can't believe I am about to do this. I put my thumbs into the waistband of his boxers and pull down them down. His rock hard dick slaps against his lower stomach and lurches forward, standing at attention - ready to go.
I lick my lips as I lower myself back down. Here goes nothing.
*** JORDAN ***
Fuck.
Shit.
Breathe.
Control.
Holy crap.
I can't.
Shit, hold it in.
The heat.
The friction.
The sensation.
I arch my back.
I moan.
He's driving me crazy.
He's all over me.
Devouring me.
His tongue licks all seven inches.
He circles the top, around the mushroom head.
He flicks his tongue across my slit.
Shit.
Then it's almost all gone; engulfed by his mouth.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
He can't get it all in but still it feels amazing.
His hands play with my balls.
My hands are on his head, pushing him down further.
He licks the sides, sucks on the head.
I'm breathing harder.
I raise my body.
I push into his mouth.
Fuck.
I've had blowjobs before but this is something else. Noah is in a league of his own. The way he moves his lips and his tongue around, as if he is worshipping every part of me. I can't take it any longer. If he continues I will cum right into his mouth. I don't want to do that yet. As much as it pains me, I have to nudge him off. He moves off, sitting on my lower legs. I'm too close. I need to slow down.
"Fuck, Noah ... that was ... wow ... good. You're ... fuck ... amazing."
He just smiles back at me. I sit up. My hand finds the back of his neck and I bring him close to me. His body is a drug. My drug. I can't get enough. I find his lips and kiss him. I want to feel him again. I want to feel his insides, taste him. I grab the corners of his t-shirt and pull it over his head. Before he even gets a chance to balance himself, I throw him onto his side. My arm goes around him as I kiss him once again. He throws his leg on top of mine. I feel his tongue against mine. The inside of his mouth. His hot flesh. My hand finds his ass, his tight ass. I feel his globes, squeeze them with my fingers.
I move down his body, giving him the same royal treatment his lips gave me. I taste each inch of him, lick him, smell him, devour him. He trembles when I kiss the sides of his stomach. He warned me from before he is ticklish. I unbuckle his belt and fling off his jeans. I tease his dick, pressing against his boxers. I want him to feel the pain of the agonizing wait he inflicted upon me.
Even when I rip off his underwear I don't pay any attention to his dick. I work around it. This drives him crazy. He moans but I ignore him. Instead I focus on his balls, playing with the two with my fingers and then my mouth. As my lips feel his balls, I run my hand over his dick. It's rock hard. Slightly curved to the right. It feels about six or seven inches.
This is it. I've never done this before. I'll try to emulate what Noah did. Fuck that felt really good. Ok, here goes. A guy's dick in my mouth. I never thought I'd try this. Alright. I move up, taking my tongue from the base of his shaft, running it along till I hit the top.
His body jerks. It gets stiff. He moans. I guess I did something right.
My tongue circles around the rim, going up and down back the length of his shaft. I work around his dick, lick the top. His body tells me he wants more. I can do this. Just take it in. I take it all within my mouth, working down his shaft. Then I gag.
"Easy Jordan, slowly."
Shit, that didn't work. They make it look so easy in porn. Okay try again. I suck on his cock. He moans. This works. But then his body twitches.
"TEETH!"
Crap. I look up at him, "Sorry."
"It's okay. Just don't do that again."
I forgot about those. Okay, I can do this. I can take all of it down my mouth. Just don't gag. I read about this on the net. Just don't think about gagging. It's simple. I try swallowing his dick once again. Barely any of it is when I start to gag again. I move off of him coughing. Noah pulls me up to him.
"Sorry, that was bad ... not like you ... "
He cuts me off. "It's okay, it takes time to learn. And that was amazing."
"You're not a good liar."
He kisses me again. The distraction works. It only takes a second to get back into him. He presses his body against mine, and I feel his dick rub against my skin. It's the first time I've felt his bare skin against mine. While still kissing me, he lowers his hand and starts to play with my dick. He then puts both of ours together and starts to jerk them off at the same time.
I've jerked off plenty of times. Okay fine, lots. But this is a new sensation. His hand feels so much better. The way he rubs his hand along the skin. The way his dick feels against mine. I can't keep it in much longer. I find his ass again and start playing with it. I take a finger and push against his hole. Noah doesn't hesitate or say anything so I continue on.
"Do you have any lube?" I ask him.
He reaches over into his nightstand and grabs a bottle.
"You've been preparing for this," I say to him with a smile.
"Oh shut up ... like you haven't ... I know you've been looking up gay sex guides."
"Only to please you," I say as I kiss him again. The best way to win an argument or any conversation with Noah it seems - a kiss on the lips.
I open the bottle and spread some of the cold liquid onto my fingers. I then take some and spread it onto his hole. Slowly, I take my finger and work around the ring. Noah starts to breathe a bit heavier. I continue to work the liquid into his skin and around his hole. Then, I take my finger and push it in a bit, just inserting an inch. Noah makes a noise. I let it sit there a minute to give him time to adjust.
"You okay?" I ask him.
"Fine."
I push in deeper until half of my finger is in. Again I pause for a second. I then push in the entire finger. Noah stiffens. He inhales and very slowly exhales.
"Burns a bit," he says. "Thanks for cutting your nails."
I carefully pull my finger out, just leaving in a bit. I slide it back in a few more times. I then add in a second finger. Again Noah stiffens his body but slowly he begins to relax. His sphincter is tight. I don't want to hurt him. With both fingers in, I feel around inside. It's warm. I press against something and Noah moans loudly. This must be the prostate that I read about online. After a minute or two I put more lube on my fingers. This time I put three fingers against his hole.
"You ready?" I ask.
"Yeah, go slow." He says.
I barely push them in.
He yells. "Shit."
I pause.
"It's okay," he says.
I continue to work his ass for a few more minutes. Gradually I get my fingers back inside of him. Noah doesn't say anything, but his breathing gets faster. He doesn't seem to be enjoying this much right now.
"Okay Noah, you ready for it?"
"Dunno. Think so. Hope so."
He grabs a box of condoms from his table. I stand up over the bed, grab one from the box and rip it open. I quickly put it on. I place Noah near the edge of the bed with his feet dangling over. I want to see him. I want to look into his eyes as I enter him.
I look down at his face. His pale eyes stare back at me. I wonder for a second what thoughts are going through his brain. He looks transfixed, almost in a dazed state. He is a bit nervous and I'm not surprised. A bit excited too I hope. My head is cluttered, fuelled on by the adrenaline pumping through my veins. All I can think about is fucking Noah, pleasing him until he shouts out my name.
I lean down and kiss him slowly, trying to calm down his nerves before the invasion. I stand up and lift his legs and place them against my shoulders. I lube up his hole again, then rub lube up and down my condom-clad cock. I place the head of my dick against his quivering hole.
"Go slow," he says.
"I'd never hurt you."
*** NOAH ***
I look into his eyes. There is still that burning lust and concern. I know he won't hurt me. And with that he begins to push in. The head pops in and I scream.
"Fuck." Shit. Shit. Shit. Fuck! Breathe. Relax. Okay. Shit. My chest rises up and down. He waits, giving me time to adjust.
"Okay, go on," I say.
He ever so slowly pushes in. My hole tries to fight off the foreign attack, but he proceeds until I feel his pubes against my skin. This burns. Shit I thought this was supposed to feel good? Okay just relax. Stop being so tense. Relax. I need to relax my muscles.
"You okay?" he asks.
"Yeah, just leave it there for a second."
He's in me. His dick is actually in me. Those days in English class when the thought ran through my head, me bent over, his body towering over me, fucking me till I came. A dream that seemed far-fetched. Even though this hurts and burns a bit, it feels right. I feel full, not only in the literal sense, but emotionally full.
He pulls out slowly half way and pushes back in. He does this a couple of times. The pain eases a bit, but damn this still hurts. My eyes are clenched shut.
"We can try again if this hurts Noah."
"It's okay, keep going." I tell him.
I want to feel him in me. I need to feel him in me. To connect with him. To be one with him. He picks up the pace a bit.I feel his dick hit against my prostate. Fuck, that feels good. Still hurts like hell though.
"Fuck Noah, you feel so good. Your ass is so ... tight."
His speed picks up and he gets into a rhythm. He pulls out almost entirely and then drives back into me. I close my eyes and tilt my head back. Even though there is still pain, it's starting to slowly fade.
Jordan is fucking me. He's fucking me. I'm lying in my room on my bed and he is standing before me, tall and proud, making love to me. It feels surreal. I had thought about this so many times but never had I thought it would truly happen. He quickens his pace more and starts to really go after me. The pain is dissipating, and I start to see why this feels so good. He fills me with himself. I feel complete, connected. He leans forward and I wrap my legs around him. He brings his lips to mine and kisses me. An onslaught from two ends. His tongue invades my mouth while his dick invades my hole. His body invades my soul.
He doesn't miss a beat. His dick presses against my prostate. I push down to meet each of his thrusts. He starts to breathe heavier. I can see the sweat forming on his brow.
He moans out loud. "Fuck, oh fuck."
I open my eyes and stare at him. He fixes his eyes on me and slowly a smile started to creep across his face. He's not being sly or teasing me. It's a smile driven by ecstasy. I smile back. We both hold each other's gaze while he drives into me, sending waves on sensations through my body.
His hand finds my dick and starts to rub it. He quickens his pace on my dick as he quickens his thrusts. His warm hand moves up and down my dick. I grab onto the sheets as arch my back and moan loudly. The dual sensations are too much for me to bear. Within seconds I am shooting out streams of cum as I shout out his name.
"Jordan!"
As my orgasm subsides, he pulls out of me, flops down onto the bed, peeling off the condom. I feel so empty without him. It feels like a part of me is missing, gone. I find his dick and start to jerk him off. He continues to breathe heavily. He raises his back.
"Fuck Noah ... "
He's close. Within seconds his dick is pumping out jets of white cum onto his sweaty body. I let go of his dick as the last bit of cum streams out. We both lay there motionless for a few minutes. The room filled with the smell of sex, sweat, cum, and the sound of our breathing. He opens his eyes and turns to me. I barely have time to blink when his lips are on mine.
"That was fucking amazing Noah ... I ... wow ..."
"I know ... you're amazing," I say.
He smiles at me. He then takes a finger and scoops up some of the cum off my torso. He brings his finger to his mouth. He seems to ponder for a second.
"Tastes kind of salty," he says as a big grin comes across his face.
Well, I've never been one to be outplayed. I lean forward, bringing my face close to his lower abs. I stick out my tongue, licking all the way up to his navel.
"Hmm, not bad," I say with a wink. "Shower?"
"You read my mind."
*** JORDAN ***
The warm water feels nice against my skin. So too does his body. The water runs down my back, washing away with it the insecurity that once plagued me. I've done - or well am doing - two things I've never done before. I've had sex with a guy and now am taking a shower with one too. I'll be honest I was nervous, correction; insanely nervous, leading up to today. I didn't know what to expect. This whole journey with Noah has been completely foreign territory for me. It's new. I still don't know what the next day will bring. The dynamics of this relationship are complex. My emotions are complex. I've never been with a guy romantically. I had no idea if I would like it. I was scared shitless I wouldn't. I was afraid I would find his body repulsive or the thought of sucking his dick nauseating. But the more I got to know Noah the more I wanted to be with him. The urge inside me started to grow like an uncontrolled wildfire. I did look up gay sex guides as Noah had pointed out and I was getting more and more intrigued. The idea of being with him consumed my mind and body. I wanted to feel him. Him to feel me. To connect with him in a different level. I knew I was ready, but still I had this nagging feeling at the bottom of my stomach. Of course I knew I was going to do something stupid to ruin the moment. And I did! I can't believe I scraped him with my teeth! That's a rookie mistake.
Yet he didn't seem to care. He was perfect. The way he moved, the way he kissed me. It was intense. It was surreal. It was electric. Lying next to him felt right. Being inside of him felt natural. Now as I stand embraced within his arms, it feels right too. Neither of us has said anything. We are standing under the showerhead, my back to Noah, with his arms around me and the warm water running over us.
I've fucked a few girls in my day. Now I'm not a man-whore but, come on, I was a horny teenage guy with needs. But before, it was just sex and it didn't mean anything. Fucking Noah though was so different. It wasn't just about getting off, though that orgasm was fantastic. I got to feel him. I feel so much more connected to him now than I did before. And well, fine, I should be honest too, damn his ass was tight. That felt amazing!
Crap. I notice my dick has gotten hard once again. Noah does too.
"Well I can see someone is ready for round two already!" he laughs.
"Uh-huh. I wouldn't laugh. I can feel your member coming alive behind me too."
I wonder if I will ever be able to take him inside of me. Fuck, it sounded like it hurt. But then he did seem to enjoy it after a while ... but that was after a while and I could tell he was still a bit uncomfortable and in pain. One day I guess.
"Thank you." I say.
"For what?"
"For being you."
"Ah, you're welcome." He laughs.
"You know what I mean. For tonight. For trusting me. For everything."
"Of course I trust you. I knew you wouldn't hurt me," he says.
"Are you still in pain?"
"Not pain, a bit uncomfortable. Feels weird back there, but I'll live," he says.
"Did it hurt?"
"Haha, yes!"
"So why didn't you ask me to stop?"
"Because I trust you, and it started to feel kind of good ... eventually. I think it's something you have to get used to."
I break into a big smile. Even though he can't see my face, he knows I'm smiling.
"What are you smiling about?" he says.
"I guess we need to get lots of practice so you can get used to it."
"You have quite the dirty little mind."
"Thank you."
"Not a compliment," he laughs.
"I'll take it as one," I say.
"Well next time it's your turn buddy."
"I don't know if I can take it," I reply.
"We'll soon find out won't we."
I turn around and give him a long, deep kiss.
"You know that always won't work right?" It's more of a statement than a question.
"What?" I ask innocently.
"Kissing me to change the subject. I'm not that dumb."
"We should finish washing up and get back to studying."
He just looks at me and laughs. "Sure."
I must have dozed off at some point in time. The bed is a mess with sheets and limbs flung about all over the place. I try to get up but Noah's arm is across my chest, his leg on top of mine. I don't want to wake him up just yet so I stay in bed. I look over at the clock - its 10 a.m. After the two of us showered, we did manage to get some work done. We were both kind of exhausted, so decided to take a nap. I guess we kind of overslept. Well, the nap did turn into another heavy make out session. I just can't seem to get enough of him. I see an eye lid twitch in the corner. Mr. Sleepy Head is waking up.
"Good morning," I say to him.
"Hey." His voice is muffled, half of his mouth is covered by the blanket. He still is in sleepy mode. "Did you say morning?"
"Yes I did."
"What time is it?" He says, with his eyes still closed.
"It's 10 a.m."
"So much for the short nap," he says. He lazily opens his eyes half way. "How are you feeling?"
"Good. Waking up next to a hot guy, who could possibly complain?"
"It's too early for sarcasm Jordan."
"I'm not being sarcastic. It feels good to be waking up next to you."
"You're not freaking out after yesterday?"
"Freaking out? Why would you think that?" I ask.
"Dunno, thought perhaps reality might have struck you by know."
"Reality struck a long time ago. If I wanted out, I would have left by now. I enjoyed every moment of yesterday - especially scraping you with my teeth."
"Thanks for that by the way," he interjects.
"No problem, any time. So are you having regrets now?"
"Oh god no. No, no. Sorry Jordan. I didn't mean it like that. It almost feels like something I dreamt up last night. It doesn't seem like it happened. I've thought about being with a guy for so long, and to actually be with one, it's just still settling into my mind I guess."
"Mine too. But I know ways to make it settle down faster," I say with a smirk.
"I'm sure you do. So, I have to ask, any preference from last night now ... a guy or girl?"
"Um, well it's different alright. That was one awesome blow job, fuck! Who have you been practicing on?"
"Shut up! No one."
"Joking, joking. I know. But it was amazing," I say.
"I have a dick; I did what I thought would feel good."
"Man did it feel good. I could go for another one of those anytime."
"Noted," Noah replies.
"And in terms of the sex; fucking you was awesome. You're so tight. It felt fantastic to be in you. I feel so much closer to you now, like I know you better somehow. Not sure that even makes any sense. Again I could go for round two right about now ... "
"I can see that from your pants."
"Just saying, just putting it on the table. So, what about you?"
"It was good minus the teeth. The only girl I've really been with was Stacey. Compared to her, and how she was only obsessed with pleasing herself, I must say much better. At least with you I felt it was equal, or we were equal."
"So round two?" I ask again with hope.
"You're insatiable."
"Only for you."
"Well we have essays to write, and Jenn is coming over, or well I hope, in an hour or so. Get your lazy ass up."
"Buzz kill."
*** NOAH ***
She's going to come. I know it. Maybe I should call her? No I don't want to rush her. She said she would call me. She usually comes over by twelve ... and its 11:55 right now. She would call me wouldn't she? She can't still be angry? I always win her back. Her temper flares for a few hours, but she always listens to reason in the end. I don't know about this time though ... she was really angry. I did betray her and her trust. But she will see above all that and see why I did it. She's going to come I know it.
The minutes tick by. My phone sits idly on the table in front of me. I haven't typed a word for my history essay in two hours. It's due in a matter of days. The apartment is silent. Jordan went home a short while ago. He had forgotten some of his notes at his dorm. Plus, he figured if Jenn did show up, it would probably be a good idea if he wasn't here. We thought I should first re-establish my relationship with her, and then slowly bring in Jordan to the mix. I really didn't want him to leave, but I knew he was right. I hate it when he is right. I know he will be back so that makes it easier.
"She's going to come," I say aloud to myself. "She will. I know she will."
The clock strikes twelve. Nothing. Just wait it out. She will come. I know.
One o'clock; still no sign of Jenn.
I see a text from Jordan. "She show up?"
"No" I text him back.
"She'll come. Don't worry," is his response.
She'll come.
She doesn't come.
By six I give up. She isn't coming.
Defeated I lay on the couch. I haven't done anything all day. I spent the day idle, in limbo, waiting for her arrival. What does this even mean now? Is our friendship over? Did I lose her to gain Jordan? It doesn't make sense. I know I was wrong and I wronged her, but we're best friends. Our friendship has to be stronger than that. I know it is. I guess I expected too much.
My phone starts to vibrate. Another text from Jordan I suppose. He's been sending me reassuring messages throughout the day. I have no strength in me to look at another cheerful text. I curl up onto the couch and shut my eyes.
Lying there on the couch I don't know why, but I feel so alone. It's strange because I know I have Jordan. I know that. Yet, you know when sometimes you have this horrible feeling wash over you, you feel like you've lost everything. The world just seems darker. You push out all the reasonable thoughts out of your brain and take refuge in delusion. That's how I feel. Like a dark cloud is hanging over my head, like the sun will never come out again. I can't lose Jenn.
You know what, if she isn't going to come to me, then I'm going to her. I'm not letting this end like this. I jump off the couch and walk out the door. I'm on the street in seconds. The world seems to fly by as I make my way over to her place. It only feels like seconds and I am at her apartment. I knock on the door. No one answers.
"Jenn ... it's me, Noah. Open up."
I knock again. No one comes. I feel for the doorknob. It's open. I walk in. It's dark. I try to find a light switch. My hand feels around in the dark. I find it and flick it on. There is no sign of her.
"Jenn," I call out.
My voice echoes through the apartment. She isn't here. I turn to leave. This was a stupid idea. I hear a sound. I turn back around. That sounded like it was coming from her room. I make my way over to the door. I knock on it. No one answers.
"Jenn it's me. Open the door."
I push open the door. It seems to fly open without much effort. I barge in. It takes me a second to realize what's going on in front of me. All I see if a mess of limbs. Two bodies against one another, kissing each other. A face appears ... it's Jenn. She's smiling at me. Why is she smiling? I want to say something but no words come out. The other person turns their head towards me.
"Hi Noah," he says with a grin from ear to ear.
Jordan? This is why he left me? To come to her?
They sit there smiling at me. They laugh. A high pitched laugh. The sound pierces through my ears. I have to get away. But the sound gets louder, it rips through my body. It's pounding. Someone's yelling. Someone's yelling my name. I can't get away. The two are everywhere. Smiling at me. Laughing at me.
"Noah?"
My eyes fling open. I can hear my heartbeat.
"Noah? Are you home?"
I look around me. I'm on the couch. I'm at home. That was weird.
"Jenn?" I say. My head is still spinning.
"Noah, open the damn door."
"Coming, coming, one sec. Hey," I stare at her.
"Hi. Can I come in?"
"Yeah, yeah, of course," I say moving out of her way.
"You okay? It's only me. You look weird," she says.
"Yeah, sorry, I was sleeping; weird dream. You startled me. You came."
"Yeah. You sure you're okay? Did Jordan do something already?"
"I'm fine. Nothing happened. What do you mean already?"
"Well, he doesn't have the most honest track record," she states pointedly.
"Jenn he isn't like that. Anyway, you came."
"Yeah. You never responded back to my text, but I still thought I'd come."
"Text? What text?"
"I sent you one a short while ago, but maybe you were sleeping."
I look at my phone. The last text wasn't from Jordan. It was from Jenn.
I look back at her. "I thought you weren't going to come."
"Why?"
"Because it's eight o'clock now."
"Yeah, I did that on purpose."
"Um, why?" I ask.
"I know you'd freak out."
"I did."
"Yeah, you would get worried and worked up."
"Yeah ... "
"And I thought that would be a bit of payback."
"That's not really nice."
"And what you did isn't either, so too bad."
"So, we're even then?" I say in a hopeful tone.
"HA, you wish. Just count your lucky stars I came."
"I knew you would."
"Did you now?" she asks.
"You know me well and I won't argue against that; you knew I would freak out and I did. But I knew deep down you would come. And here you are."
"You can't live without me. Without me you're hopeless."
I laugh. "So, we're good?"
"As good as we're going to get, yeah."
"So, did you want to work on the essay then?" I ask her.
"No, I did mine at home."
"What!? I haven't even started and it's due this week. I thought we were working together?"
"Writing an essay isn't really a group project. I did it this morning while you were sweating it out."
"You're evil."
"I know. So, how is everything going with Jordan? Was it worth betraying my trust?"
"First off, you forgave me, so none of that betraying your trust crap. I'm not going to put up with your nonsense. And as for Jordan ... it's going really well." I try not to blush but can't help myself.
"I'm still surprised he's gay. The way he kissed me, I wouldn't have ever though he was into dudes," she says.
When she says 'kissed me' the weird dream pops up into my head again. It makes me shiver.
"Yeah, he's gay."
"How long has he known for?"
"Well, he says he started developing feelings for me while he was dating you. And like most guys do, he kind of fought it. He thought it was a phase, and all sorts of stuff. But eventually he realized he liked me."
"What made him take the plunge?"
"Well I told you how he kissed me the night you thought I went missing. That was it. He thought he had lost me forever. And so when he saw me he went for it. And ever since then we have been going slow. This is all new for him and me too; we are both still adjusting. I've never been in a relationship with a guy, but I'm really enjoying it."
"Are you happy?" she asks.
"I am. I honestly am. Happier than I have been in a long time."
"That's why I forgave you. I've known you a long time. I remember Stacey and I know how that relationship took a toll on you. You put a lot of pressure on yourself to do well, to please your family, to please society. You put everyone else before yourself. I can see this is something you want and you deserve. I just hope that Jordan doesn't switch back to thinking he is straight and dump you."
"I don't know what I would do. I would be heartbroken. I've thought about that before and it really scares me."
"You really do like him."
"I do," I say.
"And I'm sure he likes you just as much. You don't need to be worried. If he breaks your heart too, then I am going to kick his ass so hard that boy won't be able to sit for the rest of his life."
"Thanks Jenn."
"I've got your back."
"I know."
"So, have you two, you know, done it?"
"Jenn, that's none of your business ... " I say blushing.
"You have!"
"What, no, I didn't say anything."
"Oh come on Noah; I know that face. You two so had sex!"
"I'm not saying anything."
"You don't have to because you're body language is saying it all. You two fucked and you liked it, you really liked it."
"Ok, stop. This is really uncomfortable."
"Fine, fine I'll stop," she says.
"Thanks. Alright we should get some work done."
"Fine," she says.
"Good."
"So, who was the top and who bottomed?"
"JENN!"
"Never mind; I know," she says with the biggest grin I've ever seen on her face. She is enjoying this way too much.
"I'm going to kill you."
As much as I hate this girl I'm so glad she is back. Bullet dodged. Now I just have to dodge the other million she sends my way. Oh crazy Jenn, how I love to hate you.
*** JORDAN ***
I didn't want to leave, but I knew it was the right thing to do. Jenn is still very emotional and seeing me probably wouldn't have made the whole situation any easier on her. I don't blame her. There is just so much to take in. First, how the two of us broke up after what I thought was a good relationship (up until the last day or when I kissed Noah). Then learning I'm gay. Then learning that I was dating her best friend who she thought was no longer speaking to me. So yeah, I guess there is a lot to digest. I hope she does show up though. I know how much Noah is counting on her to forgive him. He really does need her.
I messaged him a few times but he said she hadn't shown up yet. Not good. She'll come around and if she doesn't then I know he will find a way to get her back. She is still angry, I told him, and it may take her more than a day to calm down. But in the end I know she will calm down and eventually come back to him.
Speaking of friends I think I should touch base with John. I haven't spoken to him in days. Most of my time and energy I have been devoting to Noah. I know John is a bit resentful about that. In the past three weeks I've gone out with John and Eli once - that was the weekend we went to the strip club. On Friday he called me to go out but I didn't. That was the night I ended up staying over at Noah's place after playing volleyball with him.
"Hey, look who decided to finally call," John says answering the phone.
"Hey man."
"And what makes you remember me today?" Great he is going to be annoying.
"You're great sense of humour, that's what. Just thought I'd see how things were going with you," I reply.
"Now you have time?"
"Dude really, come on, I've been busy. After the breakup with Jenn I wanted to kind of zone out for a bit and focus on myself," I say.
"First it was Kate and then Jenn. Dude you keep pushing everyone away. One day there won't be anyone left."
"I know, you're right," I say. "But I really didn't mean to push anyone away. Just sometimes I need a bit of space."
"What am I too smothering?"
Fuck! Why does he have to be so difficult? "I didn't say that man. Come on, give a guy a break!"
"I did at the beginning of the semester when you went all weird - now again you're doing the same thing. Even when we went out last weekend you were so detached ... it felt like you didn't even want to be near us." John's voice is cold.
"That's not true." Fine it is true. I was detached. Being at the strip club felt like I was cheating on Noah. "What do you want from me?"
He does a weird sort of annoyed laugh. "I don't want anything from you. I want you be the Jordan I've been friends with for the past year, not whatever you are becoming now."
I don't want to fight with him. But he is making this so difficult. I need to swallow my pride and move on.
"You're right. I'm sorry. I know I've been acting a bit different and I promise I will try my best to be like my old self again."
"I heard you got into a fight with Sebastian," he says.
"I did. I thought I told you that. I got suspended from the team for two weeks."
"You never mentioned it."
"It was stupid. He was being an egotistical jerk and I thought I would knock him down a peg or two. The coach saw and suspended us."
"That's not what I heard," he argues.
What had he heard? He couldn't possibly know the two of us were fighting over a guy? No one knows Sebastian is gay and no one knows he and Noah were dating. I didn't say anything about Noah in front of anyone. Is it possible someone overheard us?
"And what did you hear?" I ask.
"That even before the game started the two of you were avoiding one another. You wouldn't pass him the ball and he wouldn't either; that the coach yelled at both of you. What's going on with you man?"
AH! How do I tell him everything? I can't. I don't even know if I trust him enough. I know that's not fair to him.
"Nothing. He just gets on my nerves. Again he had criticized the way I was playing. I told him it wasn't my fault I had hurt my foot and it is still healing. He thought I was trying to make excuses, so I just tried to avoid him," I say.
That sounded reasonable enough ... I hope.
"Ok, if you say so man. Anyway, I have to go. I'll talk to you later."
"Sure. See ya man."
That didn't go as well as I would have liked it too. I wanted to tell him but I chickened out. I know it's been three weeks but I still can't even say the words out loud when I am alone. I try to yell out 'I'm gay' but I can't. I know it's stupid. It makes me feel stupid. It's just this insecurity in me is only starting to ebb away. I'm only slowly starting to get comfortable with myself. Being with Noah yesterday has helped a lot. I'll get there. I will tell John one day. I hope by that day we are still friends.
But I want to talk to someone about this. Noah is lucky he has Jenn. I don't have anyone else. I log onto my computer with a faint hope. It's eight o'clock here so it's morning there. He might be online. I feel a sense of relief when I see his name.
"Hey Aiden," I type to him.
"Hey bro, what's up?"
Talking to Aiden usually makes me feel better.
"It's going well. Getting cold here man," I say.
"Weather isn't too bad down here," he replies.
"Lucky bastard."
"So how's life?"
The last time I talked to Aiden was right after hooking up with Noah. Of course I told him I had hooked up with that 'girl' but didn't elaborate much.
"It's going well, how about you? I ask.
"It's good. So are you still seeing that girl?" he asks.
"Yeah, I am."
"By the way what's her name?"
Her name? Crap! What is her name? Cindy? No, sounds fake. Jill. Nah. Crap why can't I think of a name? Noahfina? Ha, that sounds retarded. 'She' is not a bottle of water. There are millions of names out there! Ah ... name ... her name ... shit! Think Jordan, think!
"Her name is Samantha." It was the first name that sounded plausible to me. Though both Cindy and Jill are names too.
"Cool, so how is everything going with Samantha?"
"Ah, it's going well actually. We've been dating for three weeks now."
"Nice, and did her friend, the one I guess you were dating before, ever find out?"
"Yeah actually she found out yesterday."
"How did she take it?" he asks.
"Not well. The two were supposed to meet today but last I checked she hadn't shown up," I write back.
"Oh that sucks."
"Yeah it does, but I think they will patch things up."
"So was it worth it then? All of that torment you put yourself through to get her?"
"Yeah it was. I've never been in a relationship like this before, it's different." Now that's an understatement.
I really want to tell him. I want to tell someone but I just don't know how. How do you even bring it up? It seems so odd to just type it out. Oh by the way ...
"Sounds like someone is getting serious." he says.
"No man, I don't know. It's still early. It's just when I'm with him I feel so different." Shit I typed 'him'. Maybe he won't notice. "I mean her," I quickly add.
"Dude I've never seen you talk like this about any girl before," he says.
"She isn't just any girl that's why."
"Well don't screw it up like you usually do."
"Thanks for your vote of confidence. I'm really trying not to, honestly man," I say. "We've been taking it slow. We only had sex for the first time yesterday."
"You waited three weeks to have sex with a girl? You? Jordan? The horniest guy I know?"
"Oh fuck you! Yes I waited three weeks."
"And how was it?"
"Fucking awesome man! One of my best experiences." I want tell him about the blow job ... but I don't.
"Wow, you must really, really like this girl," he writes.
"I do."
"So you must have a pic. I have to see what she looks like. I have to know who has mesmerized you."
Picture? Oh crap. I don't have any pictures.
"I don't have any man."
"Ok, fine. What's her full name? I'll look her up on Facebook."
Shit. I could tell him she doesn't have Facebook. Well 'she' actually doesn't cause 'she' doesn't exist! But he won't believe me. Almost everyone has Facebook at my age! You know what he hasn't seen what Jenn looks like. He won't ever see Jenn because he's all the way in Australia. Perfect, I'll send him a picture of the two of us together.
"Hang on man, I think I actually have one I took on my phone."
"Wow she is hot. Now I see why you wanted to hook up with her. The torment makes so much more sense now," he writes.
Oh you have no idea Aiden. I have a bad feeling about this. This was not a good idea. Crap.
"Yeah," I type back, "she really is."
"Oh man, I forgot to tell you I might have some great news," he says.
"What's up?"
And then my net goes down. Stupid dorm room connection. Worst timing ever. Perhaps the net going down is a good thing, before I say something even dumber! I can't believe I sent him a picture of Jenn! Shit! Dumb! This is so going to come back to haunt me.
I shut down my computer and jump into bed. It feels strange, kind of empty being here alone. I know I only spent two nights with Noah but those two nights were amazing. Lying down alone now feels wrong. The bed seems so empty. Shit man, I have to be careful. I'm really falling for this guy.
*** NOAH ***
What a day. I am beat. All I want to do now is crawl into bed with my blanket. I didn't even do anything physical - I was sitting in my living room all day. But mentally I am wiped out. Jenn asked me a million and one questions. That girl does not know anything about limits or boundaries. She wanted to know all the details of my relationship. Which isn't really odd, because it was the same when I was with Stacey. This time though, I just felt a bit more awkward telling her, and a bit more embarrassed. Not everything Jordan and I do is her business. But I know she cares and is a noisy girl too.
The bad part is I didn't end up doing any work this weekend. Saturday I was with Jordan and Sunday with Jenn. This is now going to be one busy week. Great. There are only about three more weeks left until exams start. Yet, for some odd reason, I'm not stressing out like I usually do at this time of year. Everything is going right for a change, so I might as well embrace it all and be happy.
My phone starts ringing - it's Jordan.
"Hey you," I say to him.
"Hey, how are you?"
"Tired," I say with a yawn.
"So did she come over?"
"Yeah she did."
"That's really good. I'm glad. So everything is good between you two?"
"I think so. She was back to her usual self."
"That's really good," he says.
"She asked a million questions about us."
"Like?"
"How it's going, and what it's like being with a guy."
"And what did you tell her?"
"I told her the truth ... it's horrible."
"Liar."
"She asked if we had had sex yet."
"Oh, and?"
"And what?" I say.
"What did you say?" he asks.
"I didn't say anything. But she kind of figured it out ... sorry."
"Why are you sorry?"
"Because I don't think she should know everything private that goes on between us."
"That's true."
"Are you angry?"
"No. She's your friend. You talk. Just don't tell her everything or give her too many details."
"I didn't."
"So, do you think she still hates me?" Jordan asks.
"I asked her."
"And what did she say?"
"She said she doesn't know. She is still mad at you for dumping her. She kind of feels used, that you only dated her as a distraction and she's not thrilled with that. She doesn't trust you."
"She's right. I did do that."
"She's also concerned you might one day wake up and freak out about being gay and try to be straight again."
"And how do you feel about you?"
"I've thought about it too; it's crossed my mind. But I trust you. You seem to be enjoying this relationship as much as I am right now, or at least that's what it looks like. I know there was an element of risk dating you and I accepted that when I said yes. And if I was concerned, I wouldn't have gotten so close to you," I tell him.
"I am enjoying this relationship. And if I had doubts, I wouldn't have gotten closer to you either."
"Well as for Jenn, I think she will forgive you. I asked her to do so for me."
"Thank you."
"Now don't expect to be great friends, at least not at first. But I think in time she will come to remember why she liked you in the first place."
"I know she will. So this is good then."
"It's good," I confirm.
"So we don't need to hide anymore?"
"I guess not," I say. "We could be two guy friends hanging out."
"And you're okay with that? Pretending to be only friends?"
"Yes I am."
"So then, will you come to my volleyball game this week? It's my first one back after my suspension."
Volleyball means Sebastian. I haven't seen him since that night. I have no desire to see him either. It would mean being back there around him. He makes me so angry when I think about him. I don't know if I can face that jerk.
"Noah?"
"Yes?" I say.
"You're worried about Sebastian aren't you?"
"I ... "
"I understand, but you have nothing to worry about. I'll be there; he won't say anything to you."
"Jordan, it's you who I'm worried about. Last time you got into a fight with him and got suspended from the team. I don't want anything to happen again, because if it does, then you might just get kicked off altogether and I really don't want that to happen because of me."
"I promise I won't do anything. I really want you to be there." Damn he is so convincing!
"Fine, I'll be there."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"So, how does it feel to be in bed without me?" he asks.
"It feels good. You're such a blanket hog!"
"Aw, you miss me."
"Don't make me kick you."
"That's so sweet. You miss me," he says.
"Fine, I do. Feels weird without you being here. And I know you miss me too."
"Yeah, sort of, kind of."
"Sure buddy," I say.
"Fine, yes, I miss you as well. You know exactly what I'd like to be doing to you right now."
"There is no off switch is there?"
"Nope," he says in a smug voice.
"What have I gotten into!"
"Sorry no refunds now. You're stuck with me!"
"Okay I'm tired. Bed time," I say.
"Fine, fine. See you tomorrow?"
"Yep."
"Okay, night Noah. I love you. Bye."
"Night."
Wait, what!? Did he just say he loves me?
End of Chapter 14
If you have any comments or feedback let me know either through the group page or you can email me at mr_e08@hotmail.com
Till next time folks.
Ethan.