What It Is... - (not only) JC/Justin slash - Chances - Part 4: Again
Author: Zarah
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: JC Chasez/Justin Timberlake
Note: Who would've thought that No More would become a series? Not me. But it is, now. And if you're very nice to me and send me feedback, then you're allowed to read part four, the sequel to Once Again. If you're not nice, then, well... I wish I could make your computer screen explode. But I can't. Such a shame. :(
Oh, and I'm pretty sure that this is going to be the last part. Basta. No more No More.
Thanks to: David and the Nifty Archive
Sequel to: No More, Once More, Once Again
Disclaimer: Unless I have psychic powers I didn't know of, this is totally fake.
Again
JC hugged Justin spontaneously from behind, seeing tiny smiles creeping on the faces of Joey, Lance and Chris as they were watching them out of the corner of their eyes. For the split of a second, barely noticeable if JC hadn't been paying attention, Justin tensed, then relaxed into the touch, leaning into him. The brunette placed a gentle kiss on the younger man's neck and Justin smiled.
***
JC remembered what he had said in answer to Joey thinking that JC and Justin would be alright: "I hope so. I think we will."
Well, they were. Only that even now, after a month, Justin still stiffened whenever JC touched him unexpectedly. Only that even after a month, all they were doing was falling asleep in each other's arms, naked, but keeping their touches above the waist.
Only that even now, Justin's only reply to JC's "I love you." was either "Thanks." or "I know.", both said with a smile, but that couldn't make up for what Justin wasn't saying.
And it hurt.
JC had considered not saying it anymore to give Justin the time he obviously needed, but had found that he was unable to stop. Because, what if the one time he hadn't said it when he felt like it would be the one time Justin would have said it back?
He couldn't stop.
It was as simple as that.
***
Looking back, JC realized that getting a second chance with Justin hadn't been the difficult part of it all. No, the difficult part of it all was to win Justin's trust back.
JC didn't blame Justin for being cautious, but he couldn't deny that there was a lot of sexual frustration building inside of him.
The fragile relationship they had managed to establish wasn't based on sex. JC knew that.
JC also respected that. Liked it, even.
But it was hard sometimes.
It was hard to feel Justin's naked body, Justin's erection pressing against him at night and not being able to do anything about it.
It wasn't that he wanted the relationship to be based on sex.
He just wished sex would be a part of it.
And he wanted to hear Justin say "I love you."
Just once.
Twice, maybe.
Just so he knew that Justin did indeed love him.
If he did.
***
The night was beautiful, the noise of the passing cars reaching JC only as an indistinct buzz. He was sitting on the balcony of the hotel room he shared with Justin, knees drawn to his chest, sitting on the floor and leaning against the glass doors.
The trouble with night in big cities was that the light of the houses, shops, street lamps and cars made it almost impossible to see any stars.
JC didn't even know why it bothered him all of a sudden that he wasn't able to see the stars. It just did.
Maybe he was inwardly hoping for a shooting star.
Behind him, the door opened with a sudden jerk, and if Justin hadn't caught him, JC would have landed on his back rather ungently, but the blonde's arms steadied him. Justin closed the door and nudged JC to move forwards a little, then the younger man slid in between JC and the door, pulling JC to sit in between his legs. Sighing contentedly, JC relaxed against Justin's chest, feeling the blonde's arms tighten around him, drawing him closer.
For at least half an hour, there was no movement, no words coming from either of them, both comfortable with the silence. By the way Justin was slumped against him, the blonde's chin resting on JC's shoulder, JC expected Justin to be asleep when the younger man suddenly sighed, his breath tickling JC's right ear.
"I wish we could see the stars better."
"So do I." JC's thumb was drawing circles on the back of Justin's hand.
"They seem to be so dim. The lights of the city are swallowing every light of the stars." Justin whispered.
"D'you think we'll ever be able to see them clearly again, not dimmed by some other distracting lights?" JC's thumb was continuing its actions.
Justin took a deep breath, then let the air escape his lungs slowly. "Are we still talking about the stars?"
The brunette stopped, leaned his head against Justin's. "I don't know. I don't think so."
He could feel Justin nodding, and once again, silence took over.
"Maybe all we have to do is go out of our way a little, Josh. You know, leave the big cities. It's easier to see the stars in the country."
"Take a vacation? Get away from it all?" JC asked, keeping his gaze on the sky.
"Yeah." Justin nodded. "Just you and me. No distracting lights."
"We have the next three days free."
"I know. We could stay here and let the others go ahead."
JC turned his head slightly, pressing his cheek against Justin's. "We could do that, yeah."
"Let's."
"You sure?"
"Yes."
"Okay."
Justin moved slightly, trying to find a more comfortable position on the cold floor, his embrace loosening for a moment before he had settled again.
JC watched him out of the corner of his eyes, saw the younger man's eyes close tiredly. "You wanna go to sleep, Just?"
Justin yawned, his eyes opening again. "Yeah."
"Come on, then."
Just before Justin disappeared inside, JC caught his wrist.
"I love you."
Justin turned around, smiled, pecked him on the lips. "I know."
He stepped inside the room.
***
It was wrong, it was stupid, and it was dangerous.
But of course that didn't stop JC from doing it anyway.
So what if Justin was right next door, sleeping peacefully in their double bed?
Peacefully and naked.
Justin, naked...
JC leaned against the wall, the spray of the shower pattering down on his body. His right hand began stroking the insides of his thighs, up and down, and JC closed his eyes, imagining, wishing it to be someone else's hand.
Soft pink lips, a broad smile, beautiful eyes and a body to die for...
JC's hand moved to cup his considerably growing erection.
Justin's hand...
The water was pouring down on JC, leaving his skin wet and slippery.
Justin's tongue, wetting him...
Curling his right hand around his cock and picking up a fast rhythm, JC let the other brush over his ass, graze his entrance, just to find out what it was like.
Justin's fingers...
JC hips started jerking forwards, thrusting inside his closed fist, the brunette biting his lower lip to keep from moaning.
Justin, Justin...
He didn't hear the door to the bathroom open, the sound of footsteps approaching. The shower curtain was yanked open, and then there was an audible gasp.
JC opened his eyes to find shocked and incredibly blue orbs staring at him.
"Justin..."
JC came, hot white semen pouring over his hand.
When he opened his eyes again, Justin was gone, nothing except the not properly closed shower curtain indicating that it hadn't only been the brunette's lively imagination.
Shit.
***
Justin was sitting on the bed, head bent and picking at his fingernails, when JC emerged from the bathroom. JC came to a halt in the middle of the room, wanting, but not daring coming any closer.
"For all it's worth: I'm sorry."
Startled, the blonde locked up, smiled. "Come here, Josh."
JC moved towards Justin, let the younger man take his hand. In a sort of trance, JC watched Justin guiding it to the blonde's crotch and keeping it there. Blue eyes stared up at him.
"You can."
JC jerked his hand away, took a step back, panting. "No! Nonono, Justin! Don't you dare doing this to yourself!"
"What?"
"You want things go back to the way they were?"
"I..."
JC glared. "Because if you do, then this sure is the right way to make them."
"I don't!"
Accompanied by the creak of the mattress, JC sank down on the bed next to Justin, voice softer. "Then don't do this, Just. Can you look me in the eyes and honestly tell me that you wanted me to touch you there?"
Justin kept his head bent.
JC took the younger man's hand in his. "See? But that's not how it works. We have to want it both, not just me."
"But you need it. And I can't give it to you."
"Justin." The brunette took a hold of the younger man's chin, forced him to look at him. "That's okay. I know that someday, you'll be able to give it. I can wait until then."
"You were masturbating in the shower."
"Yeah. So?"
"You don't need to masturbate when you have a boyfriend. At least you wouldn't need to if it weren't for your boyfriend being so messed up."
"I'm not hearing this." JC shook his head. "Justin, if it weren't for me, then you wouldn't be messed up at all. You know that. So why are you doubting yourself all of a sudden?"
"Because..." Justin threw his hands up. "I don't know. I... It just hit me. When I saw you. It was like 'Newsflash! Your boyfriend isn't satisfied!'."
"Justin, there might be a few things missing, but we're working on that. Both of us. And there's no one else I'd rather be with. You know that. Don't you?"
"Yeah."
JC gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. "And next time you're offering sex to me, make sure that you want it, too, okay?"
Justin nodded, leaned his head against JC's shoulder and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep.
***
"No! No, please! Josh!" Justin shrieked, trying to put some distance between himself and JC.
The brunette smirked, dodged the chair and once again lunged for Justin's stomach, the younger man's most ticklish spot.
Justin laughed.
***
Even past midnight, the air was still hot and humid, so, when Justin took off his shirt and threw it in the sand, JC didn't think much of it. When the pants followed the shirt, well... JC still didn't think much of it. Mainly because he was too busy drinking in Justin's body.
Because how could he have known that Justin wasn't wearing any underwear?
"Josh?"
"Hmm?"
Justin smiled lasciviously. "You wanna go swimming?"
"Here?"
"Do you see any other ocean nearby?"
"No."
"Then here, yes."
"Naked?"
"It's dark and there's no one around, so why not?"
The blonde reached out a hand for JC to take, and the brunette used it to pull himself to his feet. He nodded hesitantly.
"Okay."
"Then get out of those clothes and show me that body of yours."
Before JC had the time to comprehend, Justin was already undressing him, pulling the shirt over his head and easing down his jeans. And if it weren't for the mischievous sparkle in the younger man's eyes, then JC would have believed that the brush of Justin's hand against his crotch had been an accident.
The blonde took his time in easing JC's boxers down, obviously enjoying that he was making the brunette squirm, then took a step back to let his eyes roam over the older man's body, half hidden by the darkness that surrounded them.
Justin nodded his approval, a smile grazing his lips. "Nice."
"Are you talking about the weather?"
"No. Definitely not. Hotter."
And JC left it at that, followed Justin into the water without saying more.
After the first shock caused by the sudden change of temperature had worn off, JC became aware of something touching him, of fingers trailing up his thigh. He glanced at Justin questioningly, and the younger man smiled, leaned forward to capture his lips in a demanding kiss involving a lot of tongue.
Ever since their first real kiss, JC had wondered where Justin had learned to kiss like that: Gentle, but at the same time urgent and forceful. And promising. One of those kisses was enough to get JC hard as a rock, and they both knew it.
JC supposed that was one of the reasons why Justin had just kissed him.
"Josh?"
"Yeah?" He had kept his eyes closed and was opening them slowly now, overly aware of Justin's hands that were cupping his ass, intentionally pressing their bodies close together so that he could feel the blonde's erection rubbing against his own.
Justin's eyes gleamed. "Can I make love to you?"
It was the first time Justin had started anything sexual between them without thinking that JC expected him to.
JC took a deep, shaky breath, trying to relax. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
The younger man's hand was travelling higher, lightly pressing their erections against each other. "Yes."
"Are you really, truly sure?"
"You want me to write it down for you?"
"Smartass."
Justin grinned, teeth shining ghostly white. "I try. So, you wanna?"
"You know I do."
"Then come on."
"You mean... here?"
"Why not? We're alone, we're both clean, and the water should be lube enough."
"If you put it like this..."
Justin grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the deep water, dropped down, stretched out his legs and motioned for JC to get comfortable in his lap. Straddling the blonde's thighs, the water went just above JC's waist.
Lube enough, indeed.
It was so easy, suddenly. JC had expected awkward moments, but there weren't.
Not when Justin's first finger entered him, wriggling around to loosen him up, the blonde kissing his collarbone and whispering in his ear, telling him to relax.
Not when a second finger joined the first one, eliciting a shudder from JC when Justin his prostate.
And not when Justin added a third finger, his breathing erratic next to JC's ear, their hips slowly grinding against each other.
When Justin pushed in, JC almost came, because, well, even if it hurt a little, this was Justin. Justin who was moving inside of him, who was filling him. Justin who JC was sitting on. Justin who was moaning and groaning, making deep sexy noises JC hadn't heard before. And it was Justin who was calling out his name or murmuring "Josh. Josh..." deep in his throat.
JC relaxed, loosening the grip of his legs around Justin's waist. The water lifted him up and when the wave passed, he was being lowered again, pushed down onto Justin's raging erection. The next wave lifted the brunette up again, and when he sank down, Justin was thrusting his hips up, filling JC even deeper.
Justin opened his eyes, blue orbs were staring straight at JC, reflecting Justin's emotions.
JC stared back, letting the water take a hold of his body once again, feeling himself floating for a moment, his only connection to the ground through Justin, and then he was lowered onto the younger man again.
For a moment, the blonde closed his eyes, broke their gaze, soft lips parting for a loud moan. JC felt one of Justin's hands wrap around his cock, and when Justin opened his eyes to look at him, there was only a short moment of hesitation before the younger man leaned forward, bringing his lips close to JC's ear.
"I love you, Josh."
And JC came.
***
They were dressed again, lying on their backs in the sand. Justin's head was resting on JC's chest, their fingers interlaced over the younger man's stomach.
"Do you regret it?"
Justin turned his head to stare at JC, eyes widening in disbelief. "Regret it? Are you nuts? I don't think I ever had such an orgasm, and I doubt I ever will have one like that again."
"Yeah, but..." JC was searching for words. "Apart from that, I mean... There's a whole new aspect to our relationship now."
"I know." Justin nodded seriously. "There's gonna be sex from now on. A lot of sex."
"It doesn't bother you?"
"No. Sure, it took me some time, but now that we slept together..." The young man grinned. "I'm sure we'll make up for the lost time."
JC's hold on Justin tightened. "I love you."
"I know."
There was silence, for a short moment, both were looking up at the stars. Then, quietly and barely above a whisper: "I love you, too, Josh."
It's the end! Yes!
Oh, and give me feedback. Please? Thanks. :) Zarah5@t-online.de