If you are under age, or live in an area where reading tales of male sex is illegal, or if you're not into this, please leave. While this story is basically true, I wasn't taking notes at the time, so some of the details are the product of artistic license, But that does not change the basic nature of the actual events. This all took place in a time when all sex was safe. It isn't now, so please respect yourself and others enough to always play safe. Comments are appreciated.
No Longer a Virgin
I think gay men have it over straight men when it comes to losing virginity because we have two ways to lose it. The first time you fuck a guy and the first time a guy fucks you. And maybe there are other ways as well. I'm going to try to cover both of these "losses" in one story.
I've always been an anal kind of guy, even before I knew that two guys could fuck that way, It's been pretty much a fixation with me. I can remember my best friend and I finger fucking each other at age 6 when we slept over each other's houses. I can be sure of the age because his family moved away after first grade and we never saw each other after that.
A few years later, I got this little toy rocket, a simple thing really. It was white plastic, about 6 inches long and about as thick as a finger. It fit tightly on a small base. The trick to it was to quickly pour baking soda and vinegar into it, jam it onto the base set it down, and the chemical reaction would build up pressure, shooting the rocket off the base, flying into the air. Exciting the first few times, but I soon tired of it. But by junior high, I'd found a new use for the rocket. I was probably 14 or so when I began to use the rocket as a dildo, a term I wouldn't become familiar with until several years later. At about that time, I also named the rocket. There was this boy in my class I had a huge crush on. He was blonde, blue eyed, had a beautiful smile, was on every athletic team, an A student, and a genuinely nice guy. So who else would I name my rocket after? It wasn't until years later that the very obvious Freudian significance of naming my `dildo' after my idol sunk in. In spite of my anal play and good grades, I was a very naive kid.
Most of my early sexual experience was handjobs and a little oral action. But when I was 17, I starting meeting guys who wanted to fuck me. And I really wanted to accommodate them. But it just never worked. I was very shy, very insecure, very tense and therefore, very tight. And so every time I'd try, the pain was just too intense, and that would be the end. I couldn't relax. And so, much to my displeasure, I remained a virgin. It's funny, looking back, that I was so fixated on my virgin hole, that, as much as I loved a cute ass, it never occurred to me to try to fuck one myself. And most of my early gay friends were only into oral sex, so I kept my anal longings to myself.
Then, when I was 20, I met Jay at a frat party. He was a cute blonde with a killer smile, blue eyes, about 6', very slim. He invited me back to his place. Once in bed, I was amazed at what a passionate, yet comfortable lover he was. He was only a few months older than me, and had come out more recently than me, but he seemed so much more experienced in bed. I realized later it was because he was so relaxed, so at ease with himself, that he was not the least bit self-conscious and just enjoyed every minute. We made out forever, kissing passionately, licking each other's ears, sucking each other's necks, creating big ugly hickeys. We found our way into a 69 position, licking, slurping and sucking each other's stiff erections. He seemed to know what he was doing, so I just followed his lead, sucking his dick, licking his balls, and then moving further down to lick and tongue his hole as he licked and tongued mine. Then he lifted his head up and said the words I wanted to hear, but which also intimidated me.
"I want to fuck you."
Oh, man did I want that. Between the conversation we'd had at the party, and the tenderness and passion once we reached his room, I really liked this guy. And I really wanted him to be the one to finally take my virgin asshole. But there was just one problem. A very hard, very thick, 8-1/2 inch problem sticking straight out from his crotch. The few guys who had tried to fuck me before were all quite a bit smaller than that, and it hadn't worked .I told him I was a virgin, that I had tried before to no avail. He was very gentle. He laid me on my back, pushed my legs up over my head and began licking my hole, sucking on it, tongue-fucking it as deep as he could. Then, with lots of lube on his huge dick, he pressed his head against my hole. As the head started in, I felt the familiar, excruciating pain. He stopped and waited, but the pain didn't let up. So he withdrew, turned me over on my stomach and began massaging my back, starting at the shoulders and working his way down to my buttocks, relaxing my tense muscles. Then he lay down on top of me, rubbing his huge cock up and down along my butt, spreading lube into my crack. Then he positioned the head against my hole again and applied slight pressure. Again, the pain. We stopped and waited, but again it didn't help . I was really disappointed and was sure Jay would be more than a bit frustrated and annoyed, but instead he just turned me over, kissed me softly and said, "Well, someone's gonna get fucked tonight and if it's not you, then it'll have to be me."
Then he put some lube on my dick, rolled over on his belly, and, reaching behind guided my dick to his hole. I started to push in, and while he was tight, his hole didn't put up the resistance mine had, and my 6" slid slowly and steadily into him. When I was completely inside him, I just laid there a moment, feeling his inner heat engulf my dick, feeling his sphincter grip me, trying desperately not to come on the spot. After a minute, we both adjusted and began moving slowly with me following his instructions. First pushing in and pulling back slowly, then faster and harder. When I hit his prostate, he let out a loud moan, then explained what that was all about. I made sure I aimed for it every time after that. Being a novice, I couldn't hold back for more than a couple of minutes. I shot inside him, over and over, collapsing on his back when I was finished. My dick stayed in his hole, not quite hard, not quite soft. He rolled us over onto our sides, keeping my dick lodged inside his hole. Then, putting some lube on both our hands, we began stroking his long thick dong together. I kept humping my semi-erect dick into his hole in rhythm with the stroking, and in no time he was shooting long strands of hot cum on the sheet in front of him. We fell asleep like that, still joined together.
Jay and I went together for a few months. Although he kept trying to fuck me, it never worked, so our sex was usually me fucking him, or sucking each other. After we stopped seeing each other romantically, we remained friends, good friends, and for a long while, if neither of us was seeing anyone else, we'd get together for some passionate sex.
One night, about six months after Jay and I had split, I was feeling kind of horny and decided to head back to campus. I had dropped out of college by this time, but every now and then went back, to visit friends or just hang out. Right after leaving school, I had discovered that this tiny little hole-in-the-wall bar just off campus that I had passed nearly every day for 2 years was a gay bar. Plus there was a cruising area called The Wall on campus near the old administration building, just a couple of blocks from the bar.
First, I checked out the Wall, wandering around the block, looking for other guys cruising, on foot or in cars. No luck. But it was still only around 10 so I headed over to the bar for a drink. After three very strong rum and cokes, I was noticeably weaving when I walked out. I headed back over to campus, to the Wall. There didn't appear to be anyone around at all so I headed toward my car, debating whether I was able to safely drive home. I decided I wasn't so headed back to the Wall again, figuring a walk might sober me up. Before I made it that far, I passed a blonde in his early 20s who was definitely checking me out as he went by. A few seconds after we passed, I looked back over my shoulder, and he was looking back over his shoulder. He immediately turned around, walked back, introduced himself and got right to the point.
"Hi. I'm Chris. Got a place we can go?"
I explained that I lived with my parents over 40 miles away. He said he had an apartment off campus, but we would have to be quiet so as not to wake his roommate. On the walk there, I learned he was a grad student.
When we reached the apartment, he got a couple of beers from the kitchen and we settled into the living room, trying to talk in whispers. We whispered, drank beer and slowly undressed each other. Since the couch was small and uncomfortable, we ended up lying on a blanket on the floor of the living room, gently kissing, just making out. Without realizing quite what was happening, I found myself lying on my back, with Chris kneeling between my thighs, lifting my legs. He pressed my legs farther back, laid down on me pressing my thighs against my chest and began kissing me. As he kissed me, some lube seemed to materialize from nowhere and he greased up his cock. He then liberally applied some to my hole, slowly working one finger, then two into me. Then as he continued to kiss me, I felt the head of his dick at my hole, slowly pressing in. It continued to slide in, a very full feeling, but no pain. Soon, he had buried his entire 6-1/2 cock inside my hole. When he started fucking, he stopped kissing to pull back and put more force in his thrusts. He started pounding harder and faster, thrusting his cock into me, every now and then hitting my prostate, making me quiver.
After a while, he pulled out, rolled me over onto my stomach and climbed on top of me, entering me from behind. And kept pumping, like a fucking machine. At some point, it hit me that I was finally getting fucked and that I was no longer a virgin. And as intensely sexual as the situation was, with his thick meat sliding in and out of my hole filling me more than I could have imagined, I all of a sudden found the situation amusing and started to giggle. I guess he didn't take that as an ego boost and immediately wanted to know what was wrong. I hadn't told him I was a virgin, so I couldn't explain, so I just told him he was making me so happy I couldn't help it. And then, as if to prove it was serious business, he really started thrusting. With each thrust, his dick rubbed my prostate. With each thrust, my dick slid between my stomach and the blanket. The two sensations got to me quickly, and I came in several spasms. With each spurt, I felt my hole tighten around his dick, and no sooner had my orgasm begun to subside than his began, filling me with his hot cum.
Somehow, we had accomplished this in near silence, never making enough noise to awaken his roommate. As I walked back to my car, I could feel the looseness of my ass, my lubed cheeks sliding against each other with each step. I think I giggled most of the way across campus. I went back to the bar and bought another drink to toast my achievement. I'm sure there were more than a few in the bar wondering what my grinning and giggling were all about.
The next day, I just had to go see Jay. I was so excited and had to tell him the news. I was so proud to have finally accomplished what I was beginning to think would never happen. When he opened the door, I grabbed him, picked him up and spun him around.
"I did it! I got fucked! I finally got fucked!"
I told him the whole story in one long breathless sentence, eager to share my accomplishment with him. But his reaction wasn't what I expected. He was happy for me, even asked for details I had left out. But something just wasn't right. Finally, I asked him what was wrong.
"I'm really happy for you because I know how much and how long you've wanted this. Plus you obviously enjoyed it. But I guess I'm jealous. I know we're just friends now and we each do what and whom we want, but I always wanted to be your first. We tried so many times and it should have been us together."
When he said that, I realized that, as exciting as my first time had been, it would have been so much better if it had been with Jay.
About a year later, I had my own apartment and was still friends with Jay. One Saturday night, he and I were going to go out to a club and he was meeting me at my place. He let himself in while I was in the shower and we talked while I finished my shower. Opposite the tub was a mirror covering most of the wall and I dried off facing it. He sat behind me on the edge of the tub also facing the mirror and we talked to each other in the mirror. Before I realized what was happening, he was peeling off his clothes. He began stroking my naked body, rubbing his body against mine, neither of us looking directly at each other, but looking into the mirror. We were both so incredibly turned on. We hadn't been with each other in months, but we were both ready for action.
He turned me towards him and kissed me. "Let's go someplace more comfortable."
We walked naked out of the bathroom, and without thought, turned into the living room instead of the bedroom. I lay down on the floor on my back, my knees bent. Jay kneeled between my knees and inched forward with his knees outside my thighs. He lifted my hips and slid forward a little more, resting my butt on his thighs. Then he took the lube he had picked up in the bathroom and applied it to my hole. Lightly fingering me, first with one finger, then two, then three. Then he bent forward, touching his lubricated head to my waiting hole, and kept leaning forward until he kissed me. As he moved toward my lips, his cock began to slide into me. By the time we were passionately tongue wrestling, he was fully buried inside me. And then, so slowly and so gently, he began to fuck me. And so it continued. A slow, gentle fuck. Thrusting that huge cock into me with passion and tenderness, with our lips never once stopping the kiss. We both became completely lost in our act of making love. And that is what it was. It wasn't the first time I got fucked. But it was the first time I was made love to. A third loss of virginity.
Jay and I never made love again. Shortly after that beautiful night, I entered into a long relationship with another guy. And shortly after that, Jay moved to another part of the country, and we gradually lost touch.
And what of Chris? About a year later, I had become involved in a local gay organization. I attended a statewide conference, held at my old college, as a representative of that group. And there I was introduced to Chris, the representative of the campus gay group. I also met his lover, who turned out to be the roommate we had succeeded in not awakening. Chris and his lover and I, together with many others, worked on several projects over the next few years. We never mentioned our tryst, though we often shared a secret look and smile at various meetings. And I never told him he was my first.
Note: Stories of a couple of other experiences I had at The Wall are posted in the College section, under The Wall. Address any comment to NJRimzu@aol.com.