My planned revenge upon Cameron Dolan came about exactly as I had hoped. After we'd finished gym class on Monday (weight lifting, ughh, how fucking boring)) we hit the showers and sure enough, Cameron started in. First there was the bullshit about how he had his girlfriend (who no one has ever met since she goes to another school; yeah, right) squealing and squirming around in the passenger seat of his car Saturday night as she sat on his lap riding him. Ron Hampton told Cameron he was full of shit and just lying about having a girlfriend; that the only thing Cameron had fucked over the weekend was his own hand. Cameron, as I was expecting, retaliated by calling Ron a queer and then began rubbing his soaped up dick into an erection, maliciously asking Ron if he wanted to get down on his knees or just bend over and that sort of crap. You get the picture.
As soon as Cameron started, I began twiddling with my dick and got it up, facing the shower wall so no one could see. While Cameron and Ron were trading insults I broke in by loudly saying, "Aww, Ron, haven't you ever noticed how Cam is always asking guys if they're queer? Doesn't that tell you anything? Hell, everybody knows queers all have big dicks." Knowing that Cameron was about to start hurling a verbal assault my way, I turned around and starting walking toward him, my dick fully erect and sticking straight out, all seven and three quarters glorious inches of it saying, "I oughta know, I ain't got all that much but you oughta see what my boyfriend has between his legs." I could see guys' eyes widening when they saw my erection, giving out little gasps of amazement and uttering "goddamn," "look at the size of that thing" and similar comments.
It worked. Cameron looked at me in horror not saying a word. He wasn't, so to speak, the cock of the roost any more. He was outsized. And then I really laid it on, chasing him around the shower, telling him in that it was okay to be queer, that I understood how he felt, how my boyfriend and I would love to have him over for dinner and introduce him to our friends and other such stuff. The guys loved it. They were laughing their asses off watching Cameron squirm about, not knowing what to say other than, "Knock it off, Pelt," and other useless, verbal defenses.
After we had dressed and were walking out of the gym to go to lunch, Ron came up to me telling how great my joke on Cameron was, laughing about it and adding that nobody ever knew I had such a big dick. I told Ron that I really was gay and had a boyfriend, like I did everyone else who congratulated me during lunch for finally putting Cameron in his place. But apparently having the reputation of the school jokemeister caused my public announcement of being gay backfired; nobody believed me.
Well, nobody other than Principal Adams.
Later that Monday afternoon the principal's secretary walked into my history class, whispered something to the teacher, then came over, and told me that the principal wanted to see me. I figured it had something to do with getting the auditorium ready for the graduation ceremony or the graduation party at the Shack until I walked into his office and saw Dad sitting there with him. I had seen this too many times before, well, not all that much, my disciplinary file on Principal Adams' desk wasn't all that thick.
Oh, god, here we go again.
Leaning back in his chair with a resigned look on his face and a tone of voice that matched, Principal Adams said, "Well, Clayton, here we all are again. Two days left for you in school and we're having yet another principal's meeting with your father."
"We are?" I meekly asked, not sure what the topic of discussion would be this time.
Dad looked up at me standing there and asked in a tired and annoyed voice, "Son, just what in the hell happened in the locker room shower this morning?"
Ewww. Think, Clayton, think. "Mmmmm. Principal Adams, may I have a word with my father, in private?"
"Sure, Clayton," he replied as he got up from behind his desk to leave us alone together.
"Uhhh, sir, would it be all right if Dad and I went outside? I'm pretty sure he's gonna need a cigarette."
"Oh, yeah," remarked the principal as he sat back down in his chair, "I almost forgot the routine." Addressing Dad he asked, "This gonna be a one, two or three cigarette discussion, Ted?"
Dad got up from his chair, looked at me, thought a moment, then told Principal Adams, "Better plan on three, Vince."
Safely outside, I explained to Dad what I had done and why I had done it. I could tell by his facial expressions and stifled laughter that Dad was amused, so I knew everything would be all right. After I had finished, Dad took a long drag on his cigarette, slowly exhaled and while chuckling said, "Clayton, I know you'll forgive me, but I gotta ask this; just how big is your dick?"
Indicating the approximate length with the forefingers of my hands I hesitantly said, "Well, about that long and uhh," then indicating the girth with the thumb and forefinger of my right hand continued, "'bout that big around."
"Jeeesus Chrrrrist! " exclaimed my father before bursting into laughter as he turned around and walked away for a moment to regain his composure. Dad paced around in circles for a couple of minutes. Every time he got settled down he would start to walk back toward me, but as soon as he looked at me, he would start laughing again and had to turn around and repeat the circular pacing.
While Dad was trying to get his laughter under control a thought occurred to me, so I asked him, "Dad, do you think it might help if we got Ron down here to confirm the truth of my story?"
Dad looked at me wiping tears out of his eyes and managed to tell me between his laughs, "Sure, why the hell not? Couldn't hurt anything. I need to make a phone call anyway. Tell Vince to get him down and meet me back out here."
Walking back into the office I asked, "Principal Adams, my father's making a phone call right now and was wondering if Ron Hampton might be able to come down to verify my version of what happened?"
The principal answered, "Probably not a bad idea. Let me see where he is and I'll get him down here."
"Thank you, sir. I'll be outside with my father."
Walking back outside I saw Dad on his cell phone. I walked over and motioned to him that I wanted to bum a cigarette. Dad handed me his pack of cigarettes and told me, "I'm on hold. So you'll know what the problem is, Cameron or whatever that little shit's name is ratted you out. He's claiming you sexually harassed him in the shower. I'm trying to get hold of one of the guys in the legal department at work to see what we need to do."
Cameron claiming I sexually harassed him? I was furious. I started to say something to Dad as I handed him his cigarettes back but he motioned me to stop as he started talking to somebody on the phone. I stalked away across the grass, lighting the cigarette with my lighter, trying to suppress the urge to go find Cameron and break his neck. As I paced, fumed, and smoked I could see Dad was clearly engaged in a serious conversation with someone. After a good five or six minutes passed, Dad shut of the phone and began walking over to me, so I walked over to meet him. Dad's demeanor was now the exact opposite of what it had been. In a serious voice he simply told me, "Clayton, I'll explain all this later. Just keep your mouth shut and don't say one word unless I ask you a question. Got it? Not one word until we're out of here."
"Yes, sir."
Walking back into the principal's office I saw Ron was sitting on the couch. Dad walked over and shook hands with him saying, "Ron, I'm Ted Pelletier, Clayton's dad. Have you told Principal Adams what happened in the locker room shower this morning?"
"Yes, sir," Ron solemnly answered.
Looking at the principal Dad asked, "Are you confident that Ron's telling the truth?" Principal Adams nodded his head to confirm he believed what Ron had told him, whatever it was.
"Good," replied Dad curtly. "I've been on the phone with my lawyer and I will assume that whatever Ron told you is the truth without having him retell it to me. But there are a couple of points I want to be sure get made."
Turning his attention to Ron, Dad asked, "While you were in the shower, did Cameron ask you, Ron, if you wanted to engage in fellatio or anal intercourse with him?"
"Sir?" asked Ron, not comprehending the question.
"Ron, I don't mean to be vulgar, but did Cameron ask you if you wanted to suck his dick or have him fuck you?"
"Oh," said Ron, ducking his head down in embarrassment, "well, yes, sir, he did."
"Did any of the other boys in the shower hear him ask you that?"
Still looking at the floor Ron replied, "Yes, sir, I guess everyone heard him."
"Did anyone laugh when Cameron asked you to engage in sexual conduct with him?"
Looking up at my father with a quizzical look, Ron replied, "No, sir, no one laughed. Nobody thought what he was doing was funny; it was just annoying."
"Sort of like he was harassing you?" inquired Dad.
"Yes, sir, that's right."
Dad then told Ron, "Now I want you to think back and remember what Clayton did. Ron, did Clayton ever touch Cameron in the shower?"
Thinking for a moment Ron shook his head and said, "No, sir, he didn't."
"Did Clayton ever ask Cameron if he wanted to have any type of sex with him, or did he merely ask if Cameron was gay?"
Thinking for several moments, Ron looked up at Dad, a slight smile on his face and said, "No, sir, Clayton never said anything about sex. All he did was ask Cameron if he was gay, joking around about having a boyfriend and saying he was gay and acting up, telling Cam that if he was gay and wanted to come out of the closet, he'd support him."
"Ron, was anyone laughing while Clayton was doing this?"
Breaking into a full-fledged smile Ron answered, "Sure, everyone was, except for Cameron."
"Would you say that Cameron is the type of person who can't take a joke when it's played on him?"
Smiling broadly Ron stated, "Everyone knows he can't; he's a jerk."
"So, it seems everyone in the shower knew Clayton was just playing a joke, even Cameron who couldn't take it, but earlier, everyone thought Cameron was harassing you and that Cameron intended to harass you, is that correct?"
"Yes, sir."
Turning back to the principal Dad said, "Vince, unless you have any questions for Ron, I think we can let him get back to class."
Principal Adams thought for a moment then said, "Well, none for the moment. Ron, you may leave now. Thank you for your help."
Dad thanked Ron as he walked out and shut the office door behind him. Remaining on his feet Dad continued, "Vince, from what my lawyer told me, it does seems you do have a bona fide case of sexual harassment on your hands here, but it ain't Clayton. On the advice of our legal counsel, Clayton and I are not going to say anything else for the time being other than to tell you that if any further action is taken against Clayton in this matter, I promise you that we will own this school of yours when the lawsuit is over. You got anything to say?"
Principal Adams rocked back and forth in his desk chair for a few moments thinking. He picked up the disciplinary report on his desk regarding Cameron's complaint against me, tore it in half and threw it in his waste basket. "Ted, I do have one thing to say."
"Go ahead."
Letting a tired smile come across his face, the principal looked at me and said in a fatherly tone of voice, "Clayton, go home. Just go home and don't come back until Friday night so I can hand you your diploma." Standing up and smiling, Principal Adams walked over to Dad and me, placed a hand on each of our shoulders and told us in a cheerful tone of voice, "Come on, let me walk the two of you out of here for the last time. Tell me what all you have planned for this party Saturday night."
Back outside the school, after telling Mr. Adams about the planned party events, he changed the topic of conversation and said to me, "Clayton, Ted here tells me that you are indeed gay and wish to be completely open and honest about it from here on out, is that true?"
"Yes, sir."
"Well, I guess that means I have another regret about seeing you graduate."
That comment really surprised me, so naturally I asked, "What's that?"
"Clayton, you could have been one hell of a role model for all the students. Over the years, I've had talks with a number of boys who were troubled by their sexuality and in nearly every instance they've decided to keep it hidden to avoid social abuse from other students. You've seen the kind of childish behavior some of the students exhibit about homosexuality; Cameron is a perfect example of that. It's that kind of ignorance and stupidity that makes it so difficult for young gay men to be honest about themselves with their peers. It's not as bad as it used to be, but there's still a long way to go. With your intelligence, skills, and personality, you could have made a real difference with these kids, straight and gay. They could have seen there's nothing wrong with being gay. Sure, it may have not been all that easy for you, but I know you could have handled it."
"Clayton, despite all of your pranks over the past four years, I've always known you were really a good kid and I always liked you. Quite honestly, I found some of the things you did rather amusing myself. You never did anything malicious and you were always an excellent student. The teachers and the students all admire you, particularly the way you've always helped other people. I can understand why you succumbed to the peer pressure and remained silent about being gay until now. But, Clayton, please don't ever do that again; it's not good for you or anyone else. You can't battle ignorance with silence.
"Anyway, I'll let the two of you go and I need to get back to work. Oh, one other thing, Clayton, the grades aren't all in yet but there's no doubt you'll be valedictorian. I know this coming out for you is pretty important but I trust you'll use good judgment in what you say in your valedictory address and avoid any sensitive matters. And I was serious about not worrying about coming back to school; take the rest of the week off. You can clean out your locker and get your things after the graduation rehearsal Friday after lunch period."
Some way to finish school, huh?
After saying our good-byes to Principal Adams, Dad and I walked over to his van and I asked him, "Dad, what was all that back there in the principal's office? You were like a little Perry Mason."
"Thanks, Son. Always remember, if you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit. Cameron was claiming that you had sexually harassed him in violation of federal law."
"What? Me breaking the law by what I did?
"You wanna go get a beer somewhere and we'll talk about it?"
"Sure." Dad and I sometimes went to a bar for a drink together. Even though I could not legally buy a drink yet, being my legal guardian, Dad could buy one and give it to me. The liquor laws in Texas are strange.
"Lemme see if Frank can join us and he can explain it all to you." While placing a call on his cell phone Dad said, "You've heard me talk about Frank Moore haven't you? He's one of the lawyers down at the company."
Before I could answer Dad that no, I didn't remember Frank Moore, Dad's call went through. During the conversation he stopped and asked me, "Hey, you think Rob could join us? Frank say's he'd like to meet him."
"I dunno, I can try to call him at work."
Dad went back to talking, reaching in his pocket to get a pen and notepad so he could scribble something down on it before finishing his call. Resuming his conversation with me, Dad commented, "So you'll know, Frank is gay. That's why I called him about how to handle that sexual harassment charge knowing he'd be sensitive to the issue. He'd like to meet you and Rob both and give you a few suggestions on how to avoid some problems, sorta like some free legal advice for a wedding present." Handing me the phone Dad said, "Here, see if you can get hold of Rob." Handing me the piece of paper he'd been scribbling on he said, "Here's the address and name of the bar."
Calling the moving company, I asked for Rob. Luckily, they had him working in the warehouse. After he got on the phone I didn't want to go into gory details, so I just asked him if he wanted to meet Dad and me for a drink.
"Sure. I talked to Andy this morning and he said I could leave whenever I want. Where you wanna meet?" Rob asked me.
Looking at the piece of paper Dad had given me I told Rob, "Some bar named Randolph's. Grab a pencil and I'll give you the address."
"Randolph's? Your Dad wants us to go to Randolph's?" asked Rob incredulously.
"You know where it is?"
"Clayton, I go there all the time. It's a gay bar."
"Oh." I was a little surprised by that. This should be different, meeting my boyfriend and a gay lawyer in a gay bar with my Dad. Oh, well, since three out of four of us would be gay, it seemed somehow appropriate. "So you wanna meet us there say in about thirty minutes or so?"
Rob and I finished our conversation and I handed Dad's phone back to him, asking, "Do you know that Randolph's is a gay bar?"
"Yeah," said Dad in a somewhat bored tone of voice as he took the phone back from me, "Frank and I have been there several times after work for a drink. I like the place. The first time we went there I didn't even notice anything until Frank told me. Just a bunch of guys in a bar having a drink after getting off work. Actually, I have a pretty good time in there. The people on the whole seem to be more intelligent than what you run into at a regular bar. The conversation is much more interesting. C'mon, follow me."
Dad and I got to Randolph's right at three o'clock. Rob and I had talked about going to a gay bar together but never had; my closeted status made me a little nervous about it. Walking into the place I was surprised to find that it looked like, what else, a bar. A very nice bar, in fact. Rather than some small, dark, smoky place, the establishment was rather large and well lit with lots of windows, padded barchairs at the bar itself as well as at a number of small tables.
Being early in the afternoon, there weren't that many people in the place. The bartender and Dad clearly knew one another, each calling the other by first name. Dad introduced me to the guy as "my son, Clayton" but didn't say anything about me being gay. Phil, the bartender, shook my hand and asked me what I wanted to drink. I told him a Bud. Dad ordered one as well and told Phil to open a tab for him.
Sitting at the bar Dad took a swig off his beer and then told me, "Maybe now you can understand why I wasn't all that bothered Saturday when you told me you were gay. After I started coming in here with Frank, I realized most gay guys are just ordinary people. Some of them are a little effeminate, but I kinda wonder if maybe I'm just seeing something I wouldn't otherwise notice."
Finishing a drink of my beer I asked, "You mean, like, if you didn't know the guy was gay his behavior wouldn't seem effeminate?"
"Yeah, that's it. Sorta like the line in They Might Be Giants: 'Half the trick in finding clues is knowing that they're there.'" They Might Be Giants is one of Dad's favorite movies. If you've never seen it, try to find a copy; it's rather obscure. George C. Scott plays a lawyer who has gone insane and thinks he's Sherlock Holmes. It's a funny movie but has some really serious stuff packed away in the lines.
While Dad and I were discussing the Outhouse and Dance Hall I remembered that Rob had wanted to go for a donkey ride when he got off work. Guess that would have to wait until later. Then it occurred to me I wasn't embarrassed any more about having a big dick. Rob was right; I probably would be wearing that damned T-shirt he gave me out in public.
After about ten minutes a nice looking, middle-aged man in a three-piece suit joined us whom Dad introduced to me as Frank Moore, the lawyer from work. Frank sat next to Dad and ordered a drink. Just as Phil was setting Frank's cocktail down in front of him Rob walked in the front door. Looking about he immediately saw Dad and me sitting at the bar. Walking over to us, he reached Frank first and, to my surprise, placed his hand on his back to get his attention then greeted him by name.
Rob knew Frank? This was wild. Dad and Frank were as surprised as I was. After discussing what a small world it was, Rob sat down next to me. While Dad and Frank engaged in their conversation together, Rob quietly told me, so neither Dad nor Frank could hear, "I've known Frank for several years. He's the lawyer I used to get my name changed. You remember me telling you about the night we all got up and voted with our feet and walked out of the bar when that asshole piano player started singing his shit?"
"Yeah."
"Well, Frank was the guy I was talking with that night and this was the bar. See the piano up front?"
I looked around over my shoulder and sure enough, there was a baby grand piano over in the far corner up on a small stage.
Looking around Dad, Frank said, "Clayton, why don't you tell Rob what happened earlier in the day and then we'll all go have a seat at a table."
While Dad and Frank resumed their conversation, I related the locker room scene to Rob, along with the subsequent events with Principal Adams. Rob agreed with me that Cameron Dolan is indeed a worthless little shit.
After the four of us retired to a table, Frank began talking. Looking at Rob and me he said, "I am really happy the two of you are together. Clayton, I know quite a bit about you from what Ted has told me over the years and I consider Rob to be a very good friend. I've always enjoyed running into him here and we've had some great conversations and discussions together. I would tell you how much I admire his intellect but that would embarrass him."
Rob nodded his head while saying, "You're right, Frank, it does, so shut up and go on."
Smiling, Frank continued. "I've always believed that any couple, gay or straight, needs to recognize the legal implications of their union. While the love and such is of course of primary importance, I don't think it wise for a couple to overlook the business side of their marriage. If the two of you are interested, I'd be happy to share my views on the matter with you."
Rob and I both told Frank we were indeed interested. I had never thought about the legal aspects of our commitment.
After taking a drink from his cocktail Frank told us, "As a gay couple you should be aware of the automatic rights you don't have that you would if you were a heterosexual couple. As I'm sure you know, Texas does not allow people of the same sex to marry. So you will not have community property or any automatic inheritance rights should one of you die. If you want the other to inherit your property upon your death, you'll have to do a will; if you don't, when you die, all of your property will go to your blood next of kin rather than your husband. In fact, upon one of your deaths, the survivor will not even be able to direct how your burial is to be conducted; the blood family will have that right unless you have executed a directive regarding disposition of bodily remains. If one of you is unconscious in the hospital, the other cannot consent to medical treatment for you unless you execute in advance a power of attorney for health care.
"As far as the law in Texas is concerned, the two of you are strangers with none of the rights or privileges that a heterosexual couple has. This may seem a little odd, but if you're interested, as a wedding present for you, I would be more than pleased to work up the documents you need to give yourselves some of the same legal protections that heterosexuals automatically get when they get married. When you're ready, just give me a call and we can get together on that."
Rob and I thanked Frank for his offer and told him we would be calling him soon. In a sense, I felt a little annoyed. Straight people get married and automatically get the things that Rob and I would have to otherwise spend a bunch of legal fees to get. I didn't know exactly what all was involved, but I know that doing wills and other such legal things are not always cheap. This really was some wedding present Frank was giving us; it would make us more like a regular, straight couple.
"I want you and Rob to know of one terribly important legal right you will not have as a gay couple that you would have if you were a married straight couple. You will not have what is known as interspousal immunity. That is sorta like a fifth amendment privilege married people have. Neither a husband nor a wife can be compelled to testify or divulge in court, or anywhere else, any information relating to their conversations or actions together as a married couple. Among other things, they cannot be forced to tell anyone anything about what goes on in their bedroom and, in most instances, can prevent the other spouse from so testifying even if they wish to kiss and tell, so to speak.
"Unfortunately, you and Rob will not have that right. Potentially, either of you could be placed on a witness stand and forced to tell the world the intimate details of your discussions and relations with one another; if you refuse, you'd be jailed for contempt of court.
"By signing up a variety of documents I prepare we can get you virtually all the property benefits of being married that heterosexual couples have. But the one thing we cannot do is to protect the sanctity of your bedroom. The only way that can be done is to do away with the prohibition of persons of the same gender being able to form a committed relationship through a legal marriage sanctioned and done in accordance with state law.
"To me, the greatest challenge the gay community has is to prove to the world that we deserve the right for our sexual relations to be accorded the same dignity and respect that heterosexual sex is given, both legally and socially. Once that is done, the stigma attached to our sexuality will be eliminated in the minds of most and then, and only then, will we be on an equal footing with heterosexuals. But we can't achieve that social change just by passing laws. It's something we're going to have to do ourselves. We have to earn that respect.
"As just a couple of gay men, I want you to know about some rights you do have. I know there is a big furor going on now about passing some kind of equal protection law prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. What I want the two of you to know is that in my estimation, we've already got just about all the laws we need, all that has to be done is use what's already on the books."
"Frank," asked Rob in disbelief, "are you saying you're against equal rights for gays?"
"No, I'm fully in favor of equal rights for gays, just like I'm in favor of equal rights for people with brown eyes or blue eyes, short people or tall people. What I'm saying is that I do not believe passing some damned law that adds sexual orientation to the protected classes of race, religion, national origin and the like is the best way to achieve that. In fact, I believe passing such a law would do more damage than it would good."
Not believing what I had just heard I blurted out, "Frank, how in the world can a law saying gays and straights are equal hurt anyone?"
Smiling broadly, Frank calmly continued, "Guys, you have to remember I have the handicap of being a lawyer so I tend to see the world a little differently than political or social activists do. What a lot of people forget, or don't even realize, is that the civil rights laws do not have any application to people in their private affairs; they only regulate commercial or public activities that affect interstate commerce. For example, at work, I cannot refuse to hire someone for a position solely because the person is black. However, if I was so inclined, I could refuse to invite any blacks into my home and even go so far as to organize a local chapter of the Ku Klux Klan and have meetings in my living room. And, in so doing, I have violated no law on the books.
"The point that so many gay activists are missing is that an equal rights law for gays can only affect what goes on in the business world, not people's personal opinions. There will always be people who hate gays, just like there will always be people who hate blacks. Passing a law will not and cannot change the way a person thinks. One real danger of trying to force such a law down people's throats is that it will just add fuel to those bigots' cause. We've seen it happen before in this country. Implementation of the law regarding racial equality in the schools and places of public accommodation gave the Ku Klux Klan plenty of ammunition during the fifties and sixties, and look what came from that. People got killed."
Seeing the looks on Rob's and my face as we were about to respond, Frank held up his hand to indicate we should remain silent and let him continue. He next said, "While there's no way to know for sure, I believe that back then the majority of people in this country were in favor of equal rights for blacks, just as I believe today the majority of people in this country are in favor of equal rights for gays. I remember as a kid, growing up here in Texas back then, my parents thought it was wrong to discriminate against blacks as did most other people in the community. But there was something that my parents and a lot of people just like them who believed in equality didn't like. They resented having it shoved down their throats by the government. There is still a lot of racial unrest in this country and I can't help but feel that it is due in large part because of the way all that got handled back then. Bringing in federal troops to escort kids to school with people rioting in the streets. Not the best way to handle things if you ask me."
"Another drawback to passing a law specifically giving gays equal rights is that it is going to take away a valuable right gays currently have. People tend to forget that discrimination is a two-edged sword; if you have the right to discriminate against someone, you also have the right to discriminate in favor of them. For example, you wanna get a job in this bar, you gotta be gay. You pass an equal protection law for gays and you have just then taken away the right for anyone, gay or straight, to extend favored treatment to gays to help us advance in our own way without any help from the government. Now you think about that while I go get another round of drinks."
As Frank got up from the table and went to the bar, I began to realize he was right. The real problem was not what people did, the problem was what they thought. After lighting a cigarette, Dad told Rob and me, "There's something else Frank hasn't mentioned, but it's something he sees all the time at work. You would not believe the amount of time he has to waste handling the discrimination claims that get filed against the company. They're all frivolous; we always win them. We fire somebody because they're not doing their job and we get hit with a discrimination suit, claiming the reason we fired the person was because of their race or gender. It's bullshit. We fired the person because they were a lousy worker. But they find some lawyer who will take their case, hoping we'll settle out of court rather than pay the legal fees to defend the thing. God only knows how much money businesses waste every year on those sorts of claims and lawsuits filed by those assholes looking for a free ride."
Returning to the table and setting down another round of drinks, Frank continued, "To me, we already have at our disposal a weapon more powerful than any law on the books. As Rob would put it, it's the power to vote with our feet."
Frank explained to Dad the incident when Rob and the other people walked out of the bar that night in protest of the entertainer who was offending the customers. After finishing that story he stated, "A lot of gays like to think the beginning of the gay rights movement was the Stonewall Rebellion up in Greenwich Village in the sixties. Well, it wasn't a rebellion, it was a damned riot. People were injured and property was damaged, and that's not a very good way to endear yourself to others. And it didn't change anything. Yeah, sure, we began to have a few gay rights parades after that, but they had about as much effect as the time a few years ago when the Ku Klux Klan had a little parade in downtown Houston. Everyone thought it was ridiculous and it didn't change a damned thing. It was embarrassing watching those ding dongs prancing down the street in pink outfits acting like a bunch of fags. The spectators just laughed at 'em, just like they did with the dodos in the white sheets. All those fucking parades did was reinforce the gay stereotype in people's minds because of the ridiculous behavior they saw."
"To me the real beginning of the gay rights movement when things really began to change for the better was when we voted with our wallets a number of years ago. The two of you were probably only ten or so years old and probably don't remember what happened."
"Due to federal campaign funding disclosure laws it was revealed that the Philip Morris tobacco company and the Miller brewing company had made political contributions to United States Senator Jesse Helms. Now what they did was perfectly legal, don't get me wrong about that. But Senator Helms was a virulent, outspoken gay basher and hater. So what did we do? We stopped buying Marlboro cigarettes and Miller beer, the top selling cigarette and beer in gay bars. I still remember that summer. You walked into a gay bar anywhere and, to express our disfavor with Jesse Helms and his corporate sponsors, you drank a Budweiser and smoked a brand of cigarette not made by Philip Morris. They finally even stopped stocking the bars with Miller beer and took the Marlboros out of the cigarette machines because nobody was buying them. Those thousands of dollars those companies spent to support that jerk senator wound up costing them hundreds of thousands, if perhaps not millions of dollars in lost sales. And we made sure that what we did got reported in the newspapers. We got their attention."
"And it wasn't just gays who did it either. I told some of my straight friends about the boycott and they joined in as well. Hell, as I remember, Ted, didn't you switch brands of cigarettes there for a while?"
Dad answered, "Sure did. Those Camels didn't taste all that bad and I got to where I liked Budweiser."
Continuing his narrative, Frank next said, "A few years later Colorado passed some idiotic state law prohibiting any local governments from passing gay friendly ordinances. What happened? After the state lost millions of dollars in tourist money because people, straight and gay, refused to go there on vacations during a Boycott Colorado campaign, they started considering repealing the damned thing. But, the Supreme Court beat 'em to it by declaring the thing unconstitutional for violating the equal protection rights of homosexuals."
"Not too long ago, the Walt Disney company came out with their corporate policy that they would extend equal rights to gay couples and sponsor a gay day or whatever at Disneyland. What happened? The gay bashers called for a nationwide economic protest against Disney, calling upon the whole country to come out in favor of family values by not patronizing the Disney company. Guess what? It flopped. The people in this country, gay and straight, threw water on that burning cross and shut them up by just going along and continuing to go to Disneyland. And, judging from their gate receipts, a lot of people who otherwise would not have gone to Disneyland for a vacation voted with their feet and went there to support what Disney had done.
"We've made more real strides in this country, without any help from the damned government, by voting with our wallets and voting with our feet. We're changing the way people think and that is a hell of a lot more effective than just passing a law to try to regulate behavior. And, in doing so, we've been able to get the gay bashers pulled off their public platform. As for the federal and state legislatures, they've done virtually nothing; the federal courts have been our best friends so far simply by applying the fundamental principles already found in the civil rights laws and the federal constitution."
"Clayton, today you had, unfortunately, some first hand experience with what to me is one of the worthwhile laws already in place that will help advance the equality of gays, even though it was not originally intended or expected to do so. That's the prohibition of sexual harassment in the workplace. What a lot of people do not realize is that there is no federal law that specifically outlaws sexual harassment. Rather, it is a concept created by the courts and adopted by the United States Supreme Court to implement the provision of the civil rights laws prohibiting discrimination based upon sex."
"Anyway, when that law was originally passed, I, like most people believed it was intended to deal solely with the problems women were facing in the workplace. Over the years, the courts developed the notion that if sexually harassing behavior was present, thereby creating a hostile work environment, that constituted a violation of the law prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sex. Around 1990, a guy who was working on an offshore drilling rig filed a complaint alleging sexual harassment by some of the other men on the drilling rig. As I recall, none of the men involved were homosexual; all of them were straight, including the guy who filed the complaint. Among other things, he claimed that he was being harassed by other guys on the drilling rig with the type of 'suck my dick' harassment your little friend was giving to the other guy in the locker room this morning. The guy won his case. Of course, the oil company took it all the way to the United States Supreme Court fighting it, claiming Congress only intended the law to apply to heterosexual types of harassment. The Court looked at the case and said 'nope, it applies to everybody, and it don't matter whether the harassment is male/female, female/male, male/male, female/female or whether the persons involved are, or are not, in fact heterosexual or homosexual.' Harassment is harassment and if it is sexual in nature, it's against the law. Period."
"What a lot of people do not realize is just how many complaints are being filed by men for sexual harassment because of those 'suck my dick' comments. In fact, a year or so ago, just over fifty percent of the pending sexual harassment claims were filed by men. Of course, not all of those are 'suck my dick' complaints. From what I understand, a lot of those complaints are ones filed by men, both gay and straight, against faggy-acting men who are hassling them in the workplace because of the way they wear their sexuality on their sleeve."
"The effect of the sexual harassment law is that it is removing all considerations regarding human sexuality from the workplace and the business world in general. Well, that was all that the civil rights laws were intended to do: remove the considerations of race, gender and the like from the business world. And, in so doing, it eventually spilled over into people's private conduct as well."
"Not only will passing an equal protection law for gays hurt us by removing the right for people to discriminate in favor of us as well as give the bigots a platform to shout out their hatred for all to hear, the simple fact is that such a law just won't work in a practical sense. Blacks did need an affirmative law protecting them, but we don't. You know why?"
"Frank," said Rob, "quit the rhetorical questions or whatever and just tell us."
Frank smiled and said, "Sorry, Rob. It's that damned handicap I have of being a lawyer. Look around. Just how can you tell who's gay or not just by looking at them? You can't. And there is something else I am really looking forward to happening because of the laws against sexual harassment in the workplace."
"Clayton, Rob and I have had a number of discussions about the gays who have the exaggerated behavior and wear their sexuality on their sleeve, always flaunting about. You can't be around them without sex being dragged into the conversation. What's your opinion of those sorts of folks?"
"Well, I don't like them. They make me uncomfortable when I'm around them."
"Well," continued Frank, "welcome to the club. They make everyone uncomfortable to be around, other than one another. Now think about it. Just how is an employer going to know you're gay when you go to apply for a job? Pull out his dick and see if you'll suck it? He can go to jail for that. Ask you if you're gay? Well, I sure wouldn't want to be the one to try to defend that idiot against a sexual harassment charge; he's introduced the element of human sexuality into the business place where the law says it doesn't belong. Can your employer fire you just for being gay? He's taking the element of human sexuality into consideration, so he's treading on thin ice again. Now here's the good part. Can he fire you if you come prancing into work and start flirting with other guys? You're damned right he can, and probably should fire your ass because if he allows that sort of behavior, he's permitting sexual harassment to exist in the workplace."
Frank bummed a cigarette from Dad then leaned back in his barstool smiling at us while what he had just said sunk in. Rob looked at me and a big grin came over his face. Looking back at Frank, he excitedly asked, "Are you saying those nelly fags can be fired from work for the way they act?"
"Sure, and probably should, depending upon the circumstances," replied Frank. "The sexual harassment laws prohibit sexually inappropriate behavior in the workplace and they have raised the awareness of the people in this country that this not a socially permissible form of behavior. Offensive behavior is offensive behavior, gay or straight. Down at work, it is illegal for guys to be making suggestive comments to the women. By the same token, we had a gay in the mailroom who was pulling his queen shit trying to be cute, calling guys 'honey' and 'sweet thing' and asking to marry them and shit like that. Well, after I had a little talk with him and told him I'd have to recommend he be fired for cause if he kept it up, he started acting like a regular person very quickly."
"When you get right down to it, sexual harassment is a form of assault. Under Texas law and the laws of most other states, it is a crime to simply touch someone in an offensive manner and that also gives rise to a civil claim for monetary damages against the person who did the offensive touching. So if some nelly fag comes up to you, puts his little hand on your shoulder and starts his routine about how he wants to get in your drawers or whatever, you can sue his ass off for assault and also file criminal charges against him."
"You mean those queens can go to jail for just touching you?" exclaimed Rob with a big smile on his face.
"You're damned right they can, depending upon the circumstances and particularly whether you were indeed offended and they could anticipate that. You see, assault is defined as simply being an 'offensive touching,' there doesn't have to be any physical injury. If there is a physical injury, then you also have what is known as 'battery' or 'aggravated assault.'"
"There's something those nelly fags can't seem to get through their mind. Most men, gay or straight, conduct themselves in a courteous fashion and act like gentlemen should, both in their business life and in their personal life. Now there are some men out there, at opposite ends of the spectrum, who wear their sexuality on their sleeves. On the straight end, you have the guys who think they are god's gift to the female species. On the gay end, you have those nelly fags. What the law is telling everyone is that sexual behavior is a personal matter and needs to be kept personal and out of the public eye. That's why we have laws against public lewdness or public indecency. What the law is saying is that with respect to human sexuality, we need to act like gentlemen and if you don't, you'd better be ready to accept the consequences in court."
Looking at me, Frank clapped his hands together and cheerfully said, "Now, Clayton, let's you and me play a little game of lawyer and witness. While he was driving over here, Ted called me and let me know how things turned out with the principal today. With what you now know about some of your legal rights, I'd like to ask you a few questions."
I felt like I was being led into a trap, particularly after Rob said, "Be easy on him, Frank."
Without giving me a chance to respond, Frank stated, "Now, Clayton, I understand that Ted followed my coaching and was able to establish to the principal's satisfaction that the young man who was making the offensive comments in the shower was guilty of sexual harassment, is that correct?"
"Yes, sir, that seemed to be what happened."
"So the whole matter was dropped and everyone left and went on with life, is that correct?"
After thinking a moment I replied, "Well, yes. Principal Adams just tore up Cameron's complaint and threw it away."
Frank took a drink from his cocktail then asked, "So Cameron or whatever his name was got off scot-free. Nothing happened to him other than getting embarrassed by what you did to him in front of everyone else. Now I'm not going to ask you what, in retrospect, you think you may should have done, such as going to the principal yourself and reporting an incident of offensive sexual behavior on someone else's part such that appropriate disciplinary action could have been taken, thereby leaving a lasting impression on the minds and consciences of everyone involved. We can't rewrite history. Rather, let's look at what you did. Did you announce to everyone in the locker room that you were gay?"
"Yes, sir, I did."
"Did anyone believe you, or did they just think you were pulling a joke?"
I was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable as I admitted, "They all thought I was joking."
After taking another sip from his cocktail, Frank asked, "When you were having your interaction with Cameron, did you perhaps change your normal tone of voice and mannerisms, not just to that of what you would normally do when joking with someone, but rather adopted a lisping voice and effeminate mannerisms?"
The "oh, shit" feeling came over me as I replied, "Well, kinda."
"To save you the embarrassment of having to admit that you possibly acted in the manner of the stereotypical gay in public, thereby perhaps reinforcing the truth of that derogatory image in the minds of those other boys when they finally do realize you are indeed gay, let's change the subject. When Cameron told the other boy 'suck my dick' would you say that, in effect, he was saying that homosexuals are inferior to heterosexuals because of their sexual behavior? In effect, was Cameron saying that two males engaging in fellatio or intercourse was wrong and that such people are inferior to heterosexuals?"
I knew what my answer was but I was reluctant to answer, fearing what the next question would be. I finally told Frank, "Yes, I guess that's what really was behind that insult."
"Clayton, do you see anything wrong with two, consenting males engaging in fellatio or intercourse?"
"No."
Looking at Rob before turning his attention back to me, Frank quietly asked, "Clayton, do you and Rob ever engage in fellatio or intercourse together?"
Frank stared intently into my eyes, waiting for me to answer. He clearly could see that I was very uncomfortable. As I was about to answer his last question Frank held up his hand and said, "Hold on. Let's change witnesses." Looking back to Rob, he asked, "Rob, do you and Clayton ever engage in fellatio or intercourse with one another?"
Rob took a drink of beer, sat the bottle back down on the table and calmly answered with a smile on his face, "Frank, that's none of your goddamned business and you know it."
Frank looked back at me and said in a fatherly tone of voice, "The witness is excused."
After taking another drink from his cocktail, Frank continued, "Clayton, I didn't want to embarrass you, but I did want to make you try to remember some things that I believe are important. I know they're important to Rob and I don't think he would get hooked up with someone who didn't believe the same."
"I've had discussions with Rob and a lot of other guys about why some gays act in that stereotypical manner. I've been trying to figure it out for thirty years and I still don't know. Yeah, there are guys, gay and straight, who naturally have effeminate mannerisms. The best I can figure out why some gays act that way is that it is some kind of combination of social pressure and maybe also a way to advertise the fact you're gay so you can meet others. I also realize that some guys, me included, will occasionally do it for a moment or two with one another if we're just playing around, but that's different."
"To me, the real danger of perpetuating that stereotype in public is that it hurts the social acceptance of gays in mainstream society. As I mentioned earlier, there is an expected and accepted social standard for the behavior of men; we're expected to act as gentlemen, exhibiting respect for others and ourselves by not wearing our sexuality on our sleeves. Now when one of the crude straight guys goes into his act, he's going to offend the people around him, both gay and straight. But no one will mentally write off all heterosexuals because of what he does."
"On the other hand, if one of those pansies on the opposite end of the scale at the gay end starts acting like a fag, it's also going to be offensive to people in general. But unlike the crude straight guy, what heterosexuals will be inclined to think is 'god, if there were no gays I wouldn't have to be seeing and listening to this offensive shit.' See, because we are a minority, the majority will want to write off the whole bunch of us to avoid being offended. They know that most of us are not like that, but they'll still be offended and will be inclined to write us all off as a group."
After thinking a moment I asked, "So, Frank, are you saying that we'll all be better off if we keep sex in the bedroom where it belongs and not parade it around out in public; just treat sex with respect and handle it in a dignified manner?"
"Exactly. And that goes for all people, but particularly for gays because of our past behavior and reputation." Looking at Rob and me with a brotherly smile, Frank continued, "Here's my advice guys, both legal and personal. Always keep your dignity, both for yourself, one another and all the people around you. Treat your sexuality with the respect it deserves. With one another, be as open as you wish and as outrageous as you want. But always let sex be a special gift for one another and not just some commodity out on the shelf to be seen, advertised and discussed like a bag of candy in a supermarket."
What Frank had told us reinforced my opinion that Rob and I were not crazy or off base by our discussions and analysis of our sex life. We did want that to be our special bond together and we wanted to understand it so we could appreciate it fully. In our relationship, we wanted sex to be more than just a fun thing to do; we wanted it to be a precious form of expressing our love, our need and our devotion to and for the other. Additionally, we did not want to feel any shame about what we, as consenting adults, did in the privacy of our bedroom.
The solemnity that overhung the table we were sitting at was broken by Rob starting to laugh. He held up his hand to indicate we should remain silent then laughed out, "You'll have to forgive me, but I just remembered this one scene from a John Candy movie. He portrayed this really repulsive guy with no manners. He's in his office interviewing some woman to be his secretary. After looking over her resume he says to her, 'I got just one question. When you give a blowjob, do you swallow or spit?'"
All of us began laughing at that crudity. Frank cheerfully commented, "That's what I mean. Offensive behavior is offensive behavior. Just like harassment is harassment. Now some people might say that is just annoying behavior and is harmless, but it's not. Verbal sexual harassment is a form of assault and people had better realize you can be sued and even go to jail if you do it. For some damned fool reason there are gays out there who think if they do that sorta shit with other gays, it's socially acceptable, even in the gay world. Well it's not. What's just as bad is for the rest of us to keep putting up with that crap. If we don't get some dignity and have some respect for ourselves, in effect keep our own house clean, how do we ever expect other people to accord us equal treatment?"
With a little bit of a wicked grin on his face Rob asked, "Hey Frank, how do all your friends, the leather guys fit into this?'
"Oh Jesus Fucking Christ! " spat out Frank. "They're worse than drag queens. Jeez, most of the drag queens do it for fun; they know it's all a big joke. Those leather guys are really messed up; they take that shit seriously, like this armband means this, that chain means that. But, to their credit, I will compliment them on their safe sex behavior. I understand they usually place a condom over the nightstick before they shove it up their buddy's ass while he's hanging handcuffed from the ceiling. Goddamn! To listen to them you think you gotta go to school to be fucking queer. They got more damned made-up crap about all that junk than I had to learn in the Masonic lodge."
Giving Frank a quizzical look, Dad asked him, "Are you a Master Mason?"
"I am. I just happened to take the concept of brotherly love and affection a little bit further than did some of the others. Anyway, enough of this serious shit," Frank said as he leaned back in his barstool. "Ted, what are you building this week?"
Frank's question naturally steered the conversation over to the Outhouse and Dance Hall. After about thirty minutes Dad looked at his watch and announced that he, Rob, and I needed to get to the Shack to eat some supper and meet with Sam Reynolds. After we had said our good-byes, I walked with Rob over to his car parked near mine. After Dad got into his and was therefore out of earshot, Rob gave me a quick kiss and told me, "I really enjoyed this afternoon. I don't know about you, but listening to what Frank had to say was better than a donkey ride."
"Yeah," I replied, "but save your ticket for tonight, redeemable in the privacy of our bedroom."