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Quick intro: I write erotic stories that are mostly fantasy, with elements of reality mixed in. This is not that.
This is documentary.
I have been tasked by my dom to wear a chastity cage for 90 days. Each day I send him a photo of me in my cage with a note saying "Thank You Master."
The purpose of this project is to feminize me. To change me. To rewire my psychology. To humble myself.
Here, I will record my thoughts and reflections. Everything will be 100% truthful. Anything omitted will be left out only if it's irrelevant.
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Days 46-60 reveal a girl who is... starting to become really happy about being a girl. Sharing that with her dom, who is also her advisor and confidante. He tells me what to do. I do it. Obedience is deep--complete and dedicated to him.
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Days 46-49 -- October 21-24, 2020
I thought I had documented this whole time period pretty well, but I don't have a record of these specific days... just that I " was busy doing stuff too depraved to post" to Fetlife.
Too depraved for Fetlife? That seems unlikely, but the fact that it even crossed my mind is noteworthy.
Possibilities: I rode a dildo in my ass on a mirror, then slipped it into my mouth, then rode it again, then slipped it into my mouth. That's a strong possibility. Another: I whipped my ass red. Hard to say, really. I will say, I'm not as good at whipping my own ass as I'd like. I could definitely use an ass-whipping from someone else.
Any volunteers?
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Day 50 -- October 25, 2020
Just another day in my cage and panties and shaven legs. Ho hum. Just your average girl being a complete slut for her virtual master.
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Day 52 -- October 27, 2020
I wrote this on that day. I've been thinking about this again recently.
"Can Master of Maids be humiliating me if I'm offering myself to be humiliated? I've done things for him that I've never done for anyone else--that I don't frankly plan on doing for anyone else. But I did them of my own free will. What is the relationship between humiliation and one's own free will? Guess I'll continue to find out..."
Here's why I'm thinking about it now. Oh, wait. SPOILER ALERT. Skip to the next day if you don't want to know what's going on with me right now. It's different. Last chance. Skip ahead or you'll find out...
I'm preparing to leave my husband. Yeah. This is months after my strict 90 days in chastity, but it is not unrelated to that time. It's not because of my time in chastity... but that time was emblematic of the creature I want to become.
And who is that?
And what does that person want?
And why?
I am getting ready to move to a new city to express my fully femme self. On the way there, I'm going to take a road trip. See a few friends. I'm thinking I will start with Master of Maids.
Here's what will happen if/when I do.
We'll meet in a hotel room.
When he gets there, I'll be on my knees. He'll do a few humiliating things to me. He'll have me give his shoes a tongue bath. Basically, I'll blow his shoes. I hate that one. I legitimately hate it, for reasons I can't get into right now. Then he'll whip me. Then he'll fuck my ass while my face is pressed into a toilet full of his piss.
You think I'm exaggerating? I wish.
But here's the real question, the riddle I can't solve: why? Why would I volunteer to do that? Go out of my way to allow that to happen?
Like I said, I don't know the answer.
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Day 54 -- October 29, 2020
I mentioned my gym class, which is basically a group of the baddest-ass bitches I know. I'm so proud to be one of them.
I wear women's gym apparel to class. This is one clue to me about my path forward. For years, I wore the same outfit to class each week. Literally, the exact same outfit--green t-shirt, gray shorts, same socks. I obviously did not really care very much about my outfit.
Now that I'm going as a girl I care VERY MUCH about what I'm wearing! I've got several cute ensembles. Some that are fun because of the color combination--a peach tank top with space gray stretch pants, a white top over cheetah print leggings. Some are just all business--black and grey "bad bitch" gear.
Who is this girl? Anyway, had a fun workout today. My instructor totally knows I'm trans. She's giving me a lot of stretches to do. I think she's getting me ready for my new life.
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Day 56 -- October 31, 2020
What? Did you think I wouldn't post on Halloween? Bitch, please.
I dressed up in two costumes. Lol. First one was a maid outfit. That was for Master of Maids, naturally. "Outfit" is actually a generous name for it... I measured--it was 25" from top to bottom. Ask yourself if you can cover yourself in that much fabric. I could... but it was close.
Second was a kitty cat. That was actually also by request of Master of Maids, but I think he chose it because he knew I would love it. It was a little black unitard over fishnets, plus a tail and ears, and some whiskers and a cute little dot on my nose.
I asked my husband to take some shots of me in that one. The shots are super sexy, but, and this is sad... taking them made him cry. He hated the fact that he was taking photos of me for other men to enjoy. And you know what? That is a little fucked up. But it's the trip we're on.
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Day 57 -- November 1, 2020
This made me laugh. "Locktober" just ended. Me, I started in early September, and I've got all of November ahead of me. Congrats to all who made it through the month. Wish me luck on my journey.
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Day 59 -- November 3, 2020
I woke up to a request from Master of Maids--he asked me to ride a dildo and take it ass to mouth. Gladly!
I put on one of my favorite outfits: a little punk bitch ensemble, a black handwoven Nirvana t-shirt, some striped thigh highs, and fucked the ever-loving hell out of myself with my dildo attached to the wall.
I had such a good time. I shipped the video off to Master of Maids feeling so good about myself...
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Day 60 -- November 4, 2020
...except that I did not follow instruction. Classic mistake. I got so excited that I did not read instructions carefully. I was supposed to ride on TOP of a dildo. Seem like a subtle mistake? There is no such thing. It was a mistake, and I had to pay for it.
I belted myself thirty times. It hurt like hell. One good thing... I am getting better at hitting myself hard.
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That's a true and brief report on Days 46-60. No turning around now.
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What do you think? Drop me a line at sexyamie@hotmail.com if you're turned on.