"Hi we have a reservation under Owens," I said to the hostess behind the front desk. Taylor & I were at the restaurant.
I had called a taxi to pick up both Taylor & I for our "evening out" tonight. I hadn't really dressed up, but I ceratinly wasn't wearing what I usually wore to school. Jean shorts & a polo t-shirt seemed to fit just fine. When I had picked up Taylor, he had on khakis & a dress shirt unbuttoned over a t-shirt. He looked...nice. Not that he ever didn't, but still...
During the ride here, Taylor wasn't very talkative, but when he did talk, it was fast & full of stutters. I couldn't tell if he was nervous, excited, anxious or something. We eventually arrived at Lenny's after about 15 minutes in the cab.
So anyway, when we walked in & gave the hostess our reservation, she led us to a booth somewhat near the kitchen. I breathed in the different smells floating through the establishment. I loved it.
Our waiter came over to us, asked if we wanted something to drink. I asked for a Shirley Temple while Taylor ordered a Sprite. He left us alone for a while he got our drinks.
"So...how do you think this date will go?" I asked him with a smile.
"Nick, it's not a date."
"Really? Two people out at dinner just talking? Sounds like a date to me."
"Try two guys just eating together like friends," he countered.
"...At a nice restaurant," I finished.
He rolled his eyes.
"Chill out Taylor, I'm just screwin' with you."
He scoffed out at chuckle.
"That's what I'm scared is GOING to happen."
I laughed.
"So what are you going to get?" I asked him.
"Not sure...I might get the tenderloin with some mashed potatos."
"I'm getting two big bowels of mozzarella sticks & some cheese fries," I said.
He raised an eyebrow & his mouth had a slight crook on the side of the smile which was now on his lips. I noticed small things sometimes (at other times, I noticed BIG things) & noted that the crook in his smile was cute & child-like.
"That's an awful lot of...cheese," he pointed out.
"Well," I said, "my dad is the owner of a cheese making factory, so I'm around cheese a lot. Plus, I've been here a lot, & they have amazing cheese things, like the fries & the mozzarella sticks."
"Your dad is a manager of a cheese factory?" he asked, as if he hadn't heard me right.
"Yup. When I was younger, he would always take me to work so I could get tastes & stuff. I've kind of learned through him what's good, what's bad, what's soft, what's fluffy, what's flexible, what's thin & all other stuff. When you think about it...it's kinda of cool," I explained.
"Why is your dad in the cheese business?"
"He's half Italian on his mom's side. His dad's side was German I think. When HE was younger, his mom would take him to a Italy where they had a family cheese making business or something like that."
"Have you ever seen it?"
"No, but my dad goes there now & then to visit my grandma who moved there after my grandpa died. She helps him in the business I think."
Taylor had a small smile on his face the whole time. I didn't think it was a smile out of mockery, or making fun of my little family story, but rather, it seemed he enjoyed hearing about it. From what I could see, he looked very comfortable, sitting right there, listening to me talk. He was getting comfortable being in public with a gay teen, even if he didn't know it. Progress...
"What about your family?" I asked him.
"What about them?"
"Well, what do your parents do, do you have siblings, where are your parents from, all that?"
The waiter came & gave us our drinks then. We thanked him & then I turned back to Taylor.
"Well, my dad's dad was a reverend in Montana & then met my grandma when he was on vacation in Washington. They met, got married, had my dad & my aunt & then moved back to Montana."
"Really?"
"Yeah. My mom never talks about her family history & I've never even met my grandparents on that side of the family."
"Why? Are they bad people or something?" I said.
He shrugged.
"The only thing I've ever been told about them is that his name is Jerry & her name is Madeline."
I couldn't imagine kids never knowing their grandparents. I mean, I knew there were millions of kids in the world in that situation, but still. It must have sucked.
"So anyway, my dad grew up in the 50's & 60's kind of like any other kid at that time I guess & then when he got older, he decided to become a reverend also. So he met my mom through the church after a few years & then they got married," Taylor told me.
"Is your family really religious?" I asked. I began wondering if it had anything to do with him treating me like shit in the past.
"My folks are. My older sister wasn't though," he said, a look of sadness on his face.
"I didn't know you had an older sister. And what do you mean 'wasn't'?"
"My sister...", he said looking away & shaking his head a little, "she's never around."
I blinked at him, lost.
"Ever since my sister turned 13, she began to distance herself from my family. I know a lot of teens do, but she really put a distance between her & us, a lot. She started leaving the house for days at a time. My parents actually called the police dozens of times, wondering if she had been kidnapped. Few days later, she would just walk in the front door & act as if nothing happened."
My jaw dropped.
"Are you serious?"
Taylor nodded as he took a sip of his Sprite.
"How'd your parents react every time she did that?"
"The first several times she did it, they hugged her to death & THEN punished her, to which she never obeyed. But after a while, they tried sending her to a boarding school. She kept escaping from there though & would just come home all the time & act, again, as if nothing happened."
I wasn't getting a good vibe from his sister according to what he was saying.
"Well what happened to her?"
"Well as it kept happening, she would be away from home fore longer amounts of time. She's 19 now & I haven't seen her in two years. Before, she was gone for a year & before that, it was seven months."
I stared at him in disbelief.
"You haven't seen her in two years?"
"Almost, yeah. It'll be two years two weeks from tomorrow," he said, a slight shake in his voice.
So far, I hadn't heard much positive things about his family. His sister sounded like a rebel of some sort & I didn't blame Taylor for having an attitude now & then when his family seemed a little bit...off.
"Every Sunday since I was born, I've been to my church's Mass. I've only ever missed Mass three times. Once when I was nine & I had the flu, once when I had surgery on my knee when I was 12 & then last year for a school event."
"Every Sunday?"
"Yup."
"Don't you get tired of that?"
He chuckled.
"Yeah," he said.
The waiter came over just then & asked what we wanted for dinner. I gave him my order after Taylor ordered his dish. I got a refill of my Shirley Temple & insisted that I got Taylor another Sprite.
I decided to kick off my shoes underneath the table. Now, I was in my socks, my feet & toes free from their binding.
"For a few years now, I've been asking my parents to let me skip Mass now & then, but they always say no."
"Is the reason you treated me so shitty in the past because your parents brought you up as a homophobe?" I asked, ignoring him.
He looked at me. He then averted his eyes away from me & sighed.
"Yeah. I thought that, since my parents always said that fags are just mistakes by God, that they should all go to hell basically."
I looked away.
"But," I heard him say.
I turned back to face him.
"After a little while, I began to realize that your really didn't seem any different from anybody else. I figured, so he likes guys, not girls. Big deal? Just as long as you sort of kept your distance & didn't come on to me or anything," Taylor laughed.
I smiled.
"How's that working out?" I asked with a grin. I moved a foot & began to gently & teasingly rub one foot of his. I realized suddenly that I wasn't rubbing shoe; I was rubbing a socked foot!
"You took your shoes off, too?" I exclaimed.
"My feet get warm sometimes. What are you doing?"
"Just rubbing your feet."
He rolled his eyes but did nothing to stop me. I guess he was starting to get used to my "harassment."
"Your feet are warm," I said softly.
"So are yours," he smiled warmly.
Our food arrived then & Taylor seemed to snap out of it & put on a regular "eh, whatever" face, but allowed me to fondle his feet with my own.
We started digging into our food & then proceeded to talk about nothing in particular.
Not once during the entire evening did he complain about my little game of footsie, nor did he seemed the least bit worried "eating dinner with a queer" as I imagined that's what he would have said in the past. Most of the time, I actually listened to what Taylor was talking about. But sometimes I zoned out, reminding myself that my little list of goals was working out; he was becoming more comfortable with what was around him, which right now was me.
I lifted my glass & toasted with Taylor.
You know, making somebody realize they're gay isn't as easy as it sounds. It can pretty difficult & tiring.
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