Nick and Jimmy

"Nick and Jimmy" By The Goblin

Nifty Archive: Gay Male: Celebrity

This story is fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of Nick Robinson or Jimmy Bennet or any personal knowledge about their private lives.

Please support the nifty archive and help keep this great resource available for many years to come.

Feedback: thegoblin312@gmail.com

Chapter 5

"Just a minute!" I yelled towards the door.

This caused Jimmy to open his eyes wide and draw in a deep breath.

"What's going on?" He whispered.

"My dad!"

His eyes got even bigger. He threw the blanket off of him and stood up. Both of us were still in our underwear from the night before and it was obvious that the pull out bed was never used.

With quick thinking I remembered the sheets that my mom gave me.

"Lay on the couch."

"What?"

"Make it look like you were sleeping there." I said while picking up the folded blanket.

Instantly he laid down while I unfolded the bedding then threw it over him. I started to put on a pair of pajama pants but once I got the second leg in and started to pull them up I realized that they were Jimmy's. I kicked them off and scrambled to find my own and put them on.

I wondered if my dad could hear all of the commotion going on. I was certain he was already questioning why it was taking so long to answer the door. Panic had set in and my heart raced.

I grabbed a pillow from my bed and threw it towards Jimmy. I expected him to catch it but he made no effort and it plopped on his face.

"Ouch." I could hear his muffled voice.

"Sorry...Sorry." I whispered.

"Nick are you going to open the door?"

Jimmy and I looked at each other both of us were scared. I signaled my hand to calm him down as I reached for the knob.

"Hey what's up?" I asked my dad.

He had a weird look on his face. I could tell though that he wasn't seriously too concerned as to why it took so long to walk the six feet from my bed to the door.

"Nothing I just wanted to see if...oh hi."

Jimmy, who was laying on the couch under the blanket couldn't even pretend to be calm. "Hello." His eyes wide open.

"Jimmy this is my dad, dad this is my friend Jimmy."

"Nice to meet you," my oblivious father said as he walked in the room.

I backed up to let him in and almost tripped on something. When I looked down I noticed it was the towel I used to clean us up the night before. When I looked to Jimmy the fear in his face was fixated on the towel then back at me.

"Nice to meet you too." Jimmy said.

"Are you boy's hungry?"

I tried to calm my heavy breathing. "No dad we just woke up."

"Are you sure? I can wait if you want to get dressed."

"No, no were fine."

I looked to the bed and knew that if he looked hard enough he would notice that two people slept in it and not just one.

"When does your flight leave?"

"Not until seven."

"Well then how about I take you out to lunch later?"

"You don't have to..."

"I never get to see you anymore. Besides look at you." He gestured towards my shirtless torso, "You've become a man without me knowing."

I detected the smallest bit of sadness in his voice. I felt bad with how inconsiderate I had been. Through every turn my life took in the past seven years, I promised myself that I would never change. I told myself that I would always have time to be the same person I had always been.

"That would be great."

"Alright, well if you get hungry breakfast will be ready in thirty minutes."

"Okay."

I shut the door behind him and rested my forehead on it with a hand still holding it close.

"Jesus Christ." Jimmy whispered. "That was close."

"I know," I said still leaned into the door. "Sorry about that."

"No. It's fine."

I turned around to look at him as he now sat up on the couch with the blanket covering his body up to his chest. He was beautiful no matter what. Messed up hair, flushed skin, sleepy eyes, I would always love looking at him.

"Are you hungry?" I asked.

I pushed the lock back in on the door.

"A little bit."

I chuckled, "Of course you are."

"What that supposed to mean?" He threw a pillow in my direction but it landed at my bare feet.

I picked it up and threw it on my bed.

"We can go eat with my dad."

"I don't want him to go out of his way."

"It'll be fine."

I sat down next to him on the couch and let out a long breath. I still couldn't help but think how close we had come to getting caught. Feeling guilty about being happy was starting to get very old.

"Weren't you going to work out this morning?"

I thought about it for a moment. "No, no probably not. I think I already met my target heart rate for the day anyway."

"Yeah." He said with raised brows.

We sat for a moment without talking. A random car drove down the street. Jimmy stood up. I admired his perfect form. How nice his shoulders framed his upper body. How his back traveled downwards into two beautiful mounds. How his stomach melded downwards into a nice bulge that didn't hang to the left or the right but straight out. The slight definition in his legs and well taken care of feet.

He reached down to put on his pajama pants and the angle that I saw him from began to get me excited again.

"I think you stretched them out."

"No way. I didn't even put them on all the way."

He laughed. "Maybe I'm just losing weight from all the uh...exercise I've been getting lately."

I smiled bashfully and looked down for a moment only to look back at him. He put the t-shirt he wore the day before on then attempted to flatten down his hair. He walked to the window and opened the shades to the sunlight and winced from the brightness. He regained his vision and stared out at the street below.

I laughed at the familiarity of it all then I readjusted myself now that I had grown soft again.

"What's so funny?

"Nothing. It's just I've seen you do this before. At my house."

He stretched his back and I could hear joints cracking which reminded me to stretch out my legs and crack my own joints.

"You remember that."

"Yeah, when we slept on my couch. You woke up and went straight for the window."

"My sister always made fun of me for that."

"For looking out the window?"

"No. First thing when I wake up I have to make sure."

"Make sure of what?"

"That everything is still the same." His tone became more serious.

He looked back out the window with squinted eyes and seemed to be deep in thought.

I already knew the answer but I asked anyway, "Is it...Is it still the same?"

He still faced away from me and I could not see the look on his face.

"No. It's not the same. I don't think it ever will be."

I was afraid of what I already knew. That things were going to be different from now on. We had to admit to something. We had to face who we were, and what we were becoming. This fear that was usually in the back of our minds was now coming to the front and we would have to face it, ready or not.

He turned away from the window and looked at me. He still seemed deep in thought but slowly a smile came over his face.

"But that's okay. I'm happy that everything has changed."

A wave of relief swept over me as I realized that I felt the same way. I stood up and walked towards him. Towards the window. I couldn't help but smile as well.

"Me too. I'm glad that everything is completely crazy."

He laughed at my comment and I put a finger under his chin. I couldn't resist but with my thumb I gently touched his lower lip. Another random car drove by and I quickly remembered that we were standing in front of a large window.

We both looked out to the world at large, making sure that nobody had seen us. Making sure that our affection and appreciation of each other was unnoticed. The new view we both had of everything we thought we knew was becoming intimidating. Uncertain of what the future would hold and what was out there we both stared on for a little longer. I hoped to figure at least some small part of it out.

I reached out and ran my finger along his arm. He looked at me and I bit my lip.

"I'm scared as hell but..." I said.

He looked at me waiting for what I was going to say next.

"...I want this to happen."

He nodded and touched my arm in return. We both went back to our gaze of the frightening and wonderful new world we now lived in.

As the day progressed I left Jimmy in the house to his own devices. It had been a long time since my dad and I had talked. However, true to his nature, he waited until we were in the car going home to ask the hard questions.

"You know that thing I said yesterday?" He asked while making a left turn.

"What thing?"

"That thing about protecting yourself?"

"Dad, I know all about that."

"Yeah but sometimes I'm scared."

"You don't have to be. I'm well-armed." I said and pulled out the pocket knife that he made me promise to carry everywhere.

"Seriously Nick."

I put the knife back in my pocket.

"I don't know what it's like to be famous. I don't understand the life that you have."

"You know the funny thing is I don't either."

"You were always a sensitive boy."

"Dad really."

"I just don't want you to get hurt. I'm glad you're working out and everything but remember physical strength doesn't make you strong."

We stopped at a red light.

"When I was your age I was already married and my wife and I already had your older brother. That was only twenty four years ago but already everything has changed."

The light turned green.

"The first time I held you I would have never imagined the man you would become."

I was thankful for my sunglasses so that he could not see the expression in my eyes. He didn't know the man I had become and it pained me to know that I didn't want him to. I was too afraid of what he would say, what he would think of me if he ever found out who I really was.

He continued, "What's funny is regardless of how famous you're becoming, how much money you make, it scares me think you're all alone down there."

"I'm not that alone."

"Friends are one thing but when I look at you kids I just couldn't imagine how my life would be without you guys. I don't want you to miss out on that joy you know. I don't want you to devote your life to acting and not be surrounded by people you love."

I didn't know what to say. Of all the hopes he had for me. I was partially devastated that his main expectation would be that someday I would have a family.

"I don't know if I'll ever be a normal person dad."

"Definitely not." He laughed. "But someday you'll find out what that means for you."

I already had. I just wished it weren't so scary.

When we retuned my mom's car was already in the driveway. Her and my sisters were back from black Friday shopping. We walked through the door and I could instantly hear my sister's chatter. They had Jimmy surrounded on the couch.

"Did you like making that movie?" My youngest sister asked.

"Of course, it was the most awesome thing ever." He responded with tons of enthusiasm, almost over doing it.

"Hey Nick," my oldest sister called out, "you didn't tell us that you knew Jimmy Bennett."

"It must have slipped my mind," I tried to play it cool.

My fear came back as it had several times over the past few days. My biggest fear was that she would see us together and figure it out in a heartbeat. I thought she would know right away.

"Why are you friends with my brother?" She asked him.

I saw for a moment a glimmer in his eye when he looked over at me. I knew he had to think of something quick.

"He's awesome people."

"You have met him right?" She teased.

"Hey now." I said.

My father looked at Jimmy and his face kind of changed. Jimmy noticed this at the same time I did as he began to uncomfortably shift in his seat. Something about him caught my father's attention and when I looked at Jimmy I wondered if his heart pounded as much as mine had.

Just when I was about to panic he asked, "Weren't you that little kid in the Star Tr..."

"Yes he is," I said with relief. But he's not a little kid anymore."

"Duh." My sister said shaking her head at the obviously dumb statement I made.

"I thought I recognized you. Good movie. You did well."

"Thank you." Jimmy sat up as he talked to my father.

When my mother joined us the tension returned.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" My youngest sister asked Jimmy.

He looked nervous at first but then smiled and said, "I think I just started to see someone."

"You think?" My oldest sister, never one to miss a shot, asked him.

"Yeah."

"Is she pretty?"

"Absolutely."

He took shot after shot without missing a thing. Slowly I began to ease into a more relaxing mode as I realized he was able to handle anything they threw at him.

My sister's seemed to love him and my father nodded with interest throughout the whole conversation. The only person I tried not to look at was my mother. The few glimpses I took I could see that she was indifferent about everything at the moment. I tried to figure out what she was thinking but the whole time I avoided making any eye contact with her.

I didn't want to admit it but I knew she knew something. I didn't know exactly what she knew but for days now I could tell that something about her was off.

When the time came we packed up our stuff. I put the used towel in my suit case not wanting to leave the evidence of what we did behind. I knew we would have to ditch it somewhere before we hit airport security.

After all the good byes, the hugs, and the see you soon, we were in the car driving away.

"So this is where you grew up?"

"Not exactly. We moved here when I was ten."

"Close enough. It's nice."

"It is."

"Your family is awesome."

I laughed, "From the outside looking in."

"No really. They're great."

"Yeah." I sighed. "I love them."

He looked out the window and observed the passing streets. I had come to recognize the look on his face as he was deep in thought. I let whatever he was working out go on and just drove us to the airport in silence.

He slept most of the flight and I spent my time reading. We didn't talk much from what I could only guess was a mutual understanding. A mutual feeling of being happy with just being around each other.

I was glad to be back in my own car and its familiar scent. Though Seattle was the first place I called home I was starting to welcome the idea of getting home that night.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

"Yes."

There were a few minutes of more silence. The quietness was starting to get to me as I realized it was becoming abnormal.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

More silence.

I didn't want to pry but I began to notice something. My inner thought process was starting to panic when I recognized the look he had on his face. The one he had before. The one I feared above all else. That look of regret. That look he got before running as far away from me as possible.

"Something's wrong." I finally said out loud.

"I don't know Nick."

I took my eyes off the road just for a moment to make eye contact. Still that look persisted. I could already feel that the worse was coming. I could feel the pending devastation.

"What don't you know?"

"I don't know if I can do this."

My heart sank. It really sank. Lower than it ever had before. I trembled at the thought that it would happen again. I curled in both of my lips in pure frustration. I had to work very hard to not let tears form. To control my need to quiver. To stop my heart from breaking in front of him.

"You're doing it again?"

"It's just a lot you know?"

"Yes! Honestly Jimmy I do know. I do know how fucking hard this is."

I regretted swearing at him but my anger could not be completely controlled at this point. I couldn't believe that this was happening all over again. Not after the time we had spent together and the things that we did.

"You make it seem so easy."

"Well it's not." I quelled my anger.

A quiet moment passed.

He continued "I just don't think I can..."

"Why not?"

"Because you..."

"Please don't blame me. I can turn the cheek like no other but I don't think I can handle the blame. I don't think I can take it."

"It's not your fault Nick."

I pulled the car over on a random street. It was dark out but there were still people out walking.

"If it's not me then what's the problem Jimmy?"

He didn't say anything for a moment, but I did not relent and kept looking right at him.

"It's me. I'm the problem."

I couldn't believe he was using the most cliché excuse of them all. It's not you, it's me just seemed at bit unacceptable at the moment.

"I'm sorry but that sounds like bull shit."

He became angry, "It's not bull shit Nick."

Though my face was painted with fury, I couldn't stop the one small tear that ran down my cheek. When he looked at me one started to fall down his. Then like that all of my anger went away and was replaced by hurt. I was definitely hurt by him but I was also deeply saddened when I saw how much pain he was in. Again with the constant conflict that waged on in my head.

He looked at me. The rainforest. His nose was red and he sniffled. I reached past him to the glove box and grabbed him a napkin.

"I need to know Jimmy. I am broken. I need to know why."

"You're so great Nick. Everyone loves you. You're getting more work. You have such a great family. You have such a great life."

"It's not all great."

"But you know, shit's happening for you."

I couldn't argue. Things were going very good for me but I didn't think that should be any reason to throw away what we had.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I feel like I'm taking it from you," he said wiping another tear from his cheek.

"You're not."

"I am. Do you know what would happen if anyone found out..."

"Yes I do. I think about it all the time. I am constantly fucked in the head every time I think about the greatest thing to ever happen to me, and how I'm not allowed to enjoy it."

"You have this extremely great thing going for you and it is only going to get better. You don't need this Nick. You don't need me."

"Please don't speak for me."

"It's true. I'm only going to ruin it all."

"No you're not."

He looked at me, "I don't want to be what I am."

Some people didn't want to admit that they like the same gender. Some people wished to live their whole lives without ever embracing their true identities. Maybe he was one of them.

"Then I'm sorry I did this to you." I said with my voice slightly cracking.

"No." He paused holding a hand to his forehead. "No."

"No what?"

"No Nick. This is what I am with or without you. You're the only thing that ever made this okay."

"Then why is this so fucking hard. Why does my heart hurt so much?"

"Because I'm a fucked up person."

"No you're not." I lifted a finger to wipe away a tear then wiped it on my pants. I put my hand back to his cheek and he slowly closed his eyes and reopened them. "You're perfect."

"No," he laughed, "I'm not."

I looked forward for a moment. The cars passing by on the street behind were the only noise.

"I don't want you to worry about me Jimmy."

"But I do."

"You already have enough going on. I am also who I am, with or without you...and I want to be with you."

"I don't want to bring you down."

"No way. You have brought me higher than I've ever been."

He sniffled.

He leaned forward to hug me and I started to lean towards him but we were both restrained by our seat belts. We both took them off and over the middle console we embraced.

"Don't do this. You can't leave me again."

He nodded.

I whispered into his ear, "Don't ever think I wouldn't risk it all just to know you."

We released our embrace and put the seatbelts back on.

"Now what?" He asked.

"Now it's time I stop saying serious things."

He laughed, "I know right, I feel like a whiney bitch."

I laughed at his comment, though the seriousness of the moment we shared still resonated with us both.

"Let me know you got home?" He said when we pulled up to his house.

"I will."

"Good. When will I see you again?"

"Tomorrow?" I asked.

"Can't. What about Sunday?"

I thought about it trying to remember off the top of my head if anything was going on. "Yeah Sunday." I couldn't think of anything.

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Bye Nick."

I looked at his house to make sure that no one was watching. Then leaned in for a kiss.

"Bye Jimmy."

The next morning while running I received a message out of the blue from my old friend Steve.

"Hey Nick how's it going?"

"Good man...long time...how are you?"

"Doing pretty good. I'm in town."

I stopped jogging and started a walk.

"No shit? What are you doing in LA?"

"I had to get away for the weekend."

"That's crazy...what are you doing today."

"I was going to go to Hollywood but idk, probably just end up at the beach."

"Come over to my place. It's been too long."

"Okay give me a little while. Are you still at that one house?"

"Yeah but I can come pick you up at your hotel no prob."

"Nah don't worry about it I'll find you."

"I'll be home by noon."

"I'm down."

I ran back to my car for the drive home. It had been awhile since I've seen Steve. We've been friends since middle school and I actually looked forward to it. We used to be best friends but had grown apart in the past two years since moving to California.

When I got home Yesenia's car was in the driveway.

"Hey you." She said after I walked in the door.

"Hey. How are you?"

"I'm good. How was your trip?"

I thought back to the past few days and a smile came over my face, "It was great."

"Good."

"My friend is coming over later, I haven't seen him since summer...or maybe it was spring?"

"Are you talking about Steven?"

"Yeah, you remember him?"

"How could I forget? You haven't talked about him in a while."

I stretched my legs as they were a bit sore. "Yeah I'm kind of a bad friend."

"You're busy, there's a difference."

I knew she meant well, but I was a bad friend. I promised that I would never change but things became different the day I moved down here. I hated going against my word but that was exactly what I did.

"Is he staying here?"

"No I don't think so. If he does it'll only been for a night or two."

She walked to the linen closet and pulled out some extra bedding and lifted a sheet to her nose.

"Do you think I should wash these?"

"No. No if he does stay I'm sure he'll be fine."

Steve was more rugged and not as well kept as I was.

"Okay well I'm almost done. Don't forget I'm off tomorrow and Monday."

"I remember."

She nodded, "and don't let him go too crazy."

"I won't. Not this time." I smiled.

"Hey ugly, how's it going?" Steve was never one for sentiment.

He gave me a combination of a one-armed hug and a handshake.

"Good how are..."

"What's this all about?" He gestured towards my more developed arm.

"I've been working..."

"No shit." He looked around. "This place got a lot nicer."

"I've been..."

"What have you been up to?"

"Dude, calm the fuck down." I laughed.

He left his bags by the door and walked in to the living room to sit down.

"Please...come in." I said with a sarcastic laugh then shut the door.

"Do you want something to drink?"

"Beer?"

"I don't think I have any."

I searched the refrigerator as he kept talking.

"What's been going on lately? Your dad said you're starting another movie."

Success I found two bottles in the back.

"When did you talk to my dad?"

"Last night."

"Really?"

"Yeah I couldn't find your number and I called your parents' house thinking you were still in town."

"We came back early." I slipped.

"We?"

"Yeah a friend of mine."

"Oh okay, I thought it was about time you met some hottie but I guess not."

"Cheers." I said and we tapped bottles.

"So why are you here?"

"You know I just needed to get away from it all for a few days."

"What about Jessica?"

"Jennifer...and were not together anymore."

"Sorry to hear that."

"Shit happens. You know."

I took another drink as my phone began to vibrate on the table. Right away I could see Jimmy's face in it and I dribbled a little beer down my chin and onto my shirt as I quickly pulled the bottle from my mouth. I snatched the phone up before Steve could get a good look at the image.

"Hello?" I wiped my chin.

"Hey how's it going?"

"Good." I nervously said as Steve watched on.

"Do you want to see me today?"

"I...always...do." I nervously but carefully chose my words.

"Well don't hate me for this, but I'm with two of my friends and when I told them that you and I were...uh...friends now they wanted to meet you."

"You told them?"

"No! No they have no idea about that."

"Right about that." I watched Steve try to shoot a bottle cap across my clean living room.

I could hear chatter in the back ground.

"Where are you?"

"We're at a restaurant, they're waiting for me at the table."

This guy and food.

"Are you driving?"

"No my friend Kayla is. It's her and her boyfriend Jake. They're both my friends, I've known them since I was little."

I got up for a moment and began pacing. I almost forgot for a moment that Steve was in the room but when I looked at him he had now found my cap and was shooting it across the room also. I shook my head.

"Nick are you there?"

"Yeah. I'm here."

"So what do you think?"

"Why don't you guys come over here?"

"Are you sure, I mean we can go out somewhere."

"No it's fine."

I looked at Steve who had rediscovered one of the caps. I walked over and took it from his hand.

"But also my friend Steve is here."

"I didn't know you had a friend Steve?" The slightest bit of jealousy in his voice.

"Yeah from home. We grew up together."

"So he doesn't know anything?"

I looked at him as he stared blankly at the TV that wasn't even turned on.

"No idea."

"Alright, well our food is coming so we should be there in maybe an hour."

"Sounds good."

"Bye."

"Bye."

When I hung up the phone the possibility of everything blowing up prematurely was very real. I looked at my friend and didn't know how he would take the truth if he knew it. I still couldn't fully explain things to myself there was no way I could even begin to explain this to another person.

"Someone's coming over?"

"Yeah man. A friend of mine."

"Is she a girl?"

"No he's a he. He's bringing a girl...but her boyfriend too."

"Damn."

I emptied my bottle in one tilt hoping to alleviate some of the stress. Then it dawned on me. I needed more people. I needed a further distraction. I knew the right person for the job.

I took out my phone and sent a message, "Chloe."

"Nick?"

"I need a huge favor?"

"Boys are soooo needy."

"Seriously. Jimmy is coming over but my friend Steve is here."

"Wait???? Jimmy is coming over??? You guys are talking?"

I realized that neither Chloe nor Peter knew anything beyond our jog the other morning. The last they knew, I was heartbroken.

"It's such a long story it's not even funny...I can tell you all about it some other time but right now I need you to come over."

"How do I fit into this equation?"

"You'll distract my friend Steve and he won't notice that anything is up. Jimmy's friends too."

"He's bringing friends? What the hell am I going to juggle also?"

"Not exactly."

"Then what am I supposed to do?"

"Well you're famous."

"Yeah..."

"...and my friend Steve kind of has a crush on you."

"OMG in that case than no way!"

"Please...Please...Please."

"Fine. You so owe me for this and I'm bringing Peter."

"You're with him now?"

"No I have no idea where he's at. But he's coming with whether he knows it or not."

"Thank you...Thank you soooooo much."

"Uh huh...we'll see."

I looked at Steve who by this point was watching me with raised brows. If I paced anymore I would wear a spot in the floor. He definitely knew something was up.

Forty five minutes later and Chloe and Peter beat Jimmy and his friends. I found it amazing that they were able to drop everything so quickly. They were awesome and I couldn't have asked for better friends.

"KICK ASS!" Steve said as Chloe walked into the living room.

He jumped up and gave her a huge hug that she didn't really return. She gave me the dirtiest of looks over Steve's shoulder and lipped what I could only imagine was a death threat.

He let her go, "This is the friend Chloe you were talking about? You could have told me it was her."

"Guys this is my friend Steve, Steve this is Chloe and Peter."

"Where are my manners," he said to Chloe, "My name is Steve and will you marry me."

She laughed at him, "My name is Chloe, and hell no."

"Ouch." He said with a wink.

I pushed the front door to shut it but after inertia had taken over I realized Jimmy and his friends were right there. The door shut in their face.

"Oh shit." I opened the door.

"Nice to see you too." Jimmy said with surprise on his face.

The three of them walked in and silence came over the room. Jimmy's friends seemed star struck. Steve drooled over Chloe. Jimmy looked at Chloe and Peter than back to me. Peter looked around at everyone then let out a cough.

"This is my friend Steve, Jimmy you know Chloe and Peter."

The shock relevant on his face, I remembered that I didn't even tell him that they were going to be here. However at that time I didn't know either.

Jimmy looked like he was trying to grasp the weirdness of this situation, "These are my friends Jake and Kayla. Guys this is Nick Robinson and Chloe Moretz"

There was a lot that hadn't been said, and all of it was just beneath the surface. Peter and Chloe didn't know that Jimmy and I were working things out. Kayla and Jake didn't know what Jimmy and I were becoming. Steve didn't know who I really was. Jimmy didn't know that Peter and Chloe knew. There were a lot of things coming to head and I didn't know who would be ready for what was to come.

"Well alright then," I said, "let's do this."

...to be continued...

Feel free to provide feedback: thegoblin312@gmail.com