Nick and Jimmy

"Nick and Jimmy" By The Goblin

Nifty Archive: Gay Male: Celebrity

This story is fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of Nick Robinson or Jimmy Bennet or any personal knowledge about their private lives.

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Chapter 3

Again I had to start over from scratch. The first few nights were sleepless and full of a rapid thought process I could not shut down. When days turned into a week I was able to get some sleep but still caught myself thinking about him often. Then after a couple of weeks life had gone back to normal.

I was deep into work and pretty much that's all I did. I was about to start filming again and I was thankful for the many distractions and long nights.

The place I lived was becoming different as I began to find out that I was lonely. Living alone afforded its luxuries but now that winter was upon us I couldn't help but feel empty as I lied alone in bed at night. It never got too cold in Southern California but it would still have been nice to have a warm buddy to lay next to. To have Jimmy to lay next to.

A matter of coincidence would arise when it became established that my new friend Chloe had worked with Jimmy a few years back. She had mentioned him a few times in passing but I never acknowledged it. I was good at pretending and as far as she knew I had no idea who she was talking about. The good part was that the two of them were never too close of friends so there wouldn't be much of a risk in going out with her.

Working with her was great and we became closer friends over time. She saw right through me almost immediately and knew what I was from the moment we met. I don't know how it's possible that a straight girl had a better gaydar than I had but she chalked it up to, "it's Hollywood, a girls gotta know."

Between Chloe and Peter I was building a network of actual friends. It was a very small network but I didn't need to be surrounded by people. After days of demands I was able to get the two of them to go jogging on the beach with me one day a week.

"Are you going anywhere for Thanksgiving?" Chloe asked me as we ran.

"Yes I'm going home. I have to leave for the airport by two."

"I have to leave at two also," Peter said through slightly strained breath.

"What about you?" Peter asked her.

"I'm going to wake up early and drive down, we eat late."

"It's been almost a year since I've seen most of my brothers and sisters." I said.

My breathing was heavy but rhythmic. The salt smell from the ocean slightly tickled my nose so I mostly just breathed through my mouth.

"How many do you have anyway?" Chloe asked as she held her side.

"Seven." Peter, with a raised brow, answered for me.

"Jesus Christ!"

I laughed at Chloe's comment.

"I have three brothers when all I ever wanted was a sister." Peter said.

"Sisters are too demanding." I said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Chloe asked.

"You know. You're a woman."

She managed to keep holding her side with one hand and slapped me in the side with her free hand, "asshole."

Every once in a while the sound of the choppy waves could be heard making their splash over our conversation.

"It is way too fucking cold for that," Peter pointed to a group of guys in wet suits with surf boards far up ahead.

"Oh shit!" Chloe said holding her side deeper.

"Are you okay?"

"I have to stop."

"Don't stop, it'll get worse," I warned, "just walk for a little bit."

We all stopped our run and began a steady walk.

"Do you do this all the time?" Peter asked.

"Three times a week."

"That's too much."

"Have you seen that juice he makes?" Chloe joked.

"I know right. It's got chunks of green shit in it."

"Where do you think this comes from?" I won the argument with a simple downward flex of both of my arms.

We now walked close enough to hear the surfers talking to each other. Chloe seemed distracted as she looked at the group as if she were looking for something.

"Are you coming back on Friday?" I asked Peter.

"No Saturday. Why?"

"I want to go out this..."

"Oh no shit!" Chloe said still looking into the group of surfers. "I thought I recognized you."

"Oh shit!" I said only loud enough for Peter to hear.

"What?" Peter asked annoyed trying to look past Chloe and myself. "Oh shit!" He said out loud when he saw who we were looking at.

"Oh my god!" He said only looking at Chloe.

The sunrise was over his shoulder so it was hard to see his face. You could easily pick out the moment he recognized Peter and myself. His surprise was only slightly deterred by the hug that Chloe gave him.

"What are you doing out here?" She asked him.

"Surfing."

"Well duh you dork, its fucking cold out!"

"What are you doing up so early?" He asked her.

"My friend is making me take care of myself." She turned back to Peter and myself, "Guys?" We both snapped out of our initial shock.

"This is Peter, and this is Nick, my future husband and father to my babies. Guys this is Jimmy.

Jimmy looked nervous. First he looked back at his friends, one of which had come up to see who Jimmy was talking to. Then he looked back at me. He nervously shifted from side to side and messed with his hair. He looked me in the eye for just a moment. A moment filled with too much burden to carry. I stood with my hands to my hips still trying to catch my breath but I looked at him also. Through all the pain, the mental strife that I would have to bury I couldn't help but think he looked very good in that wet suit. He also seemed very scared, among other things.

"Nice to meet you." I executed the line like a real professional.

"Hey." Peter barely mumbled and looked away.

Poor Peter was stuck in such an awkward position.

Jimmy looked confused at Chloe and then myself. "So you two are dating?"

"Yes." I quickly said before anyone else could answer.

"I see," Jimmy said with a puzzled look on his face.

I could feel Chloe looking at me from the side but I didn't want to face her. I didn't know why I did it. I didn't know why I lied. Maybe I wanted to inspire jealousy. Maybe I wanted to make myself unavailable. I didn't really know why I did what I did but I immediately regretted it.

"We have to get going," I said running in place, "I have a plane to catch."

I didn't want to take one last look but it was his scent. The wind brought me his scent and the familiarity of the thing made me look at his face one more time before running off. He looked sad. He looked hurt. He looked scared. I told myself that I didn't care but in reality I was just as broken on the inside.

"I still have the same number," Chloe said holding her hand up to her ear like a phone.

"Okay. I will." Jimmy said. "Nice to see you...uh...Nice to meet you guys."

We picked up the pace and continued our run.

Peter looked back to make sure we were out of earshot from Jimmy and his friends, "What was that all about?"

"Really?" Chloe asked.

"What?" I played dumb.

"You can't tell people we are dating."

"I know. I'm sorry. It was stupid."

"Why did you say that anyway?" She asked.

"I don't know."

Peter coughed.

"Because you know, I always thought that he was...like you guys. No offense."

"Like us?" I asked.

"Yeah. I mean. What did you think of him?"

Peter coughed again.

"Are you okay?" Chloe asked him kind of bothered.

Peter just nodded.

I did not want to answer her question. I felt as if I had already lied to my friend enough at this point.

"Well?" She persisted.

"He seemed great. I'm in love. I want to marry him. Then he can have my babies too." I joked.

"You sarcastic ass."

We ran for a bit more. The trail led us off of the beach and back to the trees. The scent of salt dissipated and the smell of trees brought a kind of soothing, comforting feel to everything.

"Seriously. Do you think he's cute?"

I didn't want to lie, "incredibly."

"Really?" She stopped running and held a hand to my side to stop Peter and myself too.

"Yes."

Peter coughed again.

"Peter here man," she handed him her bottle of water.

He held out his hand to turn down the bottle.

"You seriously think he's cute?"

"Yes." I looked away.

"Oh my god! That's so exciting. Can I call him for you?

"No!" Both Peter and I said at the same time.

She looked at us both analytically. For the first time she was starting to notice that there was something we both knew.

"What's going on with you two?"

"Nothing," we both said.

"Oh shit...are you two...no way..."

"WHAT?" I said in disbelief.

"NO...no, "Peter said, "that's like...with my brother...uh...NO!"

"Then what is going on?" Chloe now demanded.

I looked away again. I didn't want to tell her. It wasn't my place to tell her. But I couldn't keep lying to her either. That just wasn't my style.

"Nick?" She pried.

I looked at Peter and thankfully he knew what to do. "You see Chloe, our boy Nick met your boy Jimmy a couple of months ago in New York City."

"You two already know each other?"

I did not answer.

"Oh yeah," Peter continued, "and sparks flew. The two hit it off real well."

"What the hell," Chloe said, "why didn't you tell me?"

"Because our boy Nick had his little heart broken by Jimmy. Not once, but twice."

"What!?!"

"Nothing really happened."

"Seriously you two..."

"...No. We barely kissed once and it wasn't even open mouthed."

"Oh my god!"

"I don't even know if he's one of us as you say."

"He totally is," Peter interrupted.

"It's none of our business," I tried to avoid going any deeper than I already had.

I started to walk taking a deep breath of the chilly pine scent.

"He broke your heart? What a little asshole."

"I mean, not really. We only went on one date."

"Yes, he did." Peter said.

"It's not like we were in love or anything. It wasn't even that serious. We barely know each other."

"But you were devastated." Peter said, "For weeks."

"I think you were in love." Chloe said.

"Yeah he was."

"What the fuck?" I stopped walking and said in anger. "So what, maybe I was, that isn't the problem."

Both of my friends looked at me with slight regret.

"The problem is that he's not in love with me."

When I reached home I was relieved to see Yesenia's car still parked outside.

"Good morning Nicky," She greeted me as I walked in the door.

The house smelled of freshener.

She was one of the few people outside of my family who got away with calling me anything but "Nick." Since day one she had been calling me that and I never put it to question.

"Good morning."

"Aren't you going to home today?" She asked, probably checking for the hundredth time to make sure I had somewhere to go.

I would have thought it was weird how she mothered me. Considering that she was only about seven years older than me and I've only known her for nine months. But sometimes I welcomed it. Sometimes it was nice to come home to someone who cared about my wellbeing.

"My flight leaves at five," I said while putting a stack of mail on the coffee table.

"Good. I got my whole family coming over tomorrow. My little girl is so cute, she keeps telling me where everyone is going to sit and what they are going to eat."

I laughed, "Kids are cute like that."

"I am thankful to be surrounded by the people that I love." She said.

I smiled at her comment.

"Maybe someday you will have kids Nicky."

My eyes widened. "Probably not!"

"Yes, you would like them."

"I like kids. I like working with them."

"Then what's the matter?"

I paused for a moment. Silence. I would have to remember to take down that damn ticking clock.

"I don't think I'm going to have a normal life." I quietly said.

"Normal? I took my kids to the zoo in San Diego and we saw a two headed snake."

I laughed.

"Don't worry about normal Nicky, you will find out what that means to you. Even if you are who you are."

I looked away from her. I did not know how she knew. I couldn't look her in the eye.

"Then it is true?" She asked.

I nodded my head.

"I had an idea the day I met you."

A fear came over me. I thought I put on a pretty good disguise. How was it so easy for some people to spot it right away?

"Then that one day I came over and you didn't let me in."

"Oh yeah."

"The next day when I came I could smell another man's cologne and then you..."

She stopped talking. The clock ticked on.

"What were you going to say?"

"No never mind, it's none of my business."

"It's okay."

She looked at me with discomfort.

"Well. After that day you have been sad ever since."

I didn't know what to say. I was usually able to keep most thoughts to myself.

She continued, "Most young people might think that living alone is fun. But the reason you do it makes me sad."

"I don't know why I do it." I lied.

"Hiding here all alone, trying to make yourself invisible isn't going to change who you are. You will have to face this someday, and you can't do it alone."

I looked around the room to avoid eye contact. I did my best to avoid the truth. My eyes came full circle and I looked back at her.

"Are you saying I should find someone to be with?"

She laughed, "No. That's a lot. No maybe you should try getting a dog first."

The flight to Seattle was uneventful. I rented a car at the airport and drove the hour drive to my parents' house. It gave me time to think about things. To think about how much I had changed since the short few months I've seen them last. But mostly I just thought about Jimmy. I couldn't get that image out of my head. Him standing on the beach with the sun rise behind him. The wind blowing his short hair. How he looked in that wet suit.

I was met at the door with the usual circus that comes with returning home. It was good to see almost everyone in one place again.

"It smells good in here," I said about the cooking after taking off my coat.

"Everybody already ate," my mother said, "if you want I can reheat some up."

"That would be great."

I walked in through the living room and followed my mom into the kitchen with three of my siblings in tow.

"How is Hollywood?" My youngest sister asked.

"It's still the same. But you're not, you're getting bigger," I said ruffling her head.

"Duh." She responded.

"Have you met any girls yet?" Another sister asked.

"Tons I'm sure." My oldest sister said.

"Hey now." My mother commented.

"No I haven't."

"That's it!" My oldest sister said with excitement.

"What?" I asked feeling antagonized.

"I knew something was different about you the moment you walked in the door."

"What do you mean?"

"Nick has a girlfriend."

I laughed, "No...I don't."

"I can see it all over your face. You're definitely in love."

I looked over at my mother. I expected her to have something to add but she did not. Instead she just looked at me nervously and bit her lower lip. Then I bit my lower lip. She is where I got that from. It was a subconscious reaction to being deep in thought. Or a reaction to fear, excitement, and pretty much everything else.

Then the interrogation started from both of my sisters. "What is her name? What is she like? How old is she? Is she famous too? Who is she?

Who was she indeed? There was no she. Just a he. Really there wasn't even a he. There was no one.

I didn't answer any of their questions as I did not want to start lying to people. In honesty, at that moment, I just wanted the whole thing to go away. Not just the interrogation, but my feelings as well. I wanted to forget about him. To move on with life. I wanted to be free of Jimmy Bennett.

As I finished eating my older half siblings from my father's first marriage stopped by. We sat down with our father and my mother to a few bottles of wine. I was still not old enough to legally drink but only a few months away.

I had a really good time that evening and was pretty buzzed when I went to get ready for bed.

I stumbled a bit as I got changed into something to sleep in. Just as I turned on the TV to an infomercial my phone let off two small vibrations against the wood of the night stand. I picked it up and after two attempts was able to unlock it.

The message read, "Hey."

I dropped the phone on my chest and stared up at the ceiling. The rising and fall of my breathing made the phone slide off my chest and next to my head on the pillow. Then two more small vibrations next to my cheek.

"Shit." I said out loud.

I didn't want anything to do with it, and I wanted it all at the same time. My mind was constantly at war with itself and left in its wake was pure confusion. I never knew what to do. What could I do? I once said that I'd risk my heart a thousand times before ever giving up but saying it and living it are two totally different things.

I was still very much hurt and didn't know if I could start this all over again.

I sighed and picked up the phone to read the next message.

"How are you?"

I dropped the phone back on my chest but this time it was accidental.

"Hi. I'm good."

"I didn't know you knew Chloe." He messaged.

"We just finished a movie." I was short.

There was a few minutes break where I stared at the infomercial playing in the back ground. My mind a whirlwind of chaos. My emotions out of control.

"So you two are dating?"

I couldn't lie to him. Again I felt stupid for saying it in the first place.

"No. We're not."

"Why did you say that?"

"Because I wanted you to think that."

"Why?"

My breathing became heavy. "I don't know if I should be talking right now about this."

"Why not."

"Because I've been drinking with my parents."

"Me too."

There was another pause.

"So why did you say you were dating."

"Because I wanted you to be jealous," I finally admitted.

Another infomercial began. I sat up in bed and went and got a glass of water. My head was beginning to hurt.

When I came back I saw that there was a missed call from him and another text message, "Can I call you."

"Sorry I was in the kitchen."

"Am I bothering you?"

"No."

"So can I call?"

I hesitated for a moment. The TV was starting to become an annoying distraction so I shut it off. There was silence. The whole house seemed silent.

"Yes." I responded.

After almost a full minute my phone let out a few long vibrations and lit up.

"Hello."

"Hey."

"How are you?"

"Good and you?"

"I'm okay."

"A little drunk."

"Yeah me too."

Then there was a moment of silence.

"I'm glad I saw you today." Jimmy said.

"Me too."

"You looked really good."

I remembered what he looked like in that wet suit, "So did you." I smiled.

"Why were you trying to make me jealous?" He said with a slight slur at the end.

"Because Jimmy, isn't it obvious."

"What?"

"I like you."

Another silence outside of my heavy heart and ringing in my ears. I could hear his heavy breathing through the phone.

"I like you." He was finally able to admit.

I let out a long breath, one I did not realize I was holding. I slowly closed my eyes as relief began to slowly ease my tension.

"I know you do." I said.

"This isn't easy for me."

"It's not easy for me either."

He didn't say anything to my quick reaction. Instead I could only hear his deep breathing then a sniffle. Had he been crying? My heart stopped as it erased all of my anger. Just imagining the green rain forest looking at me with tears laden almost began to bring tears to my own eyes.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"No. Don't be."

I felt terrible for how I made him feel. Despite the sleepless nights I spent, regardless of weeks in sadness I still couldn't stomach the idea that I was the reason he felt that way. I was the reason he was up late crying. When you realize the reason why it is people do the things they do, it makes it harder to hate them.

"I'm so fucked up." He said.

"No you're not."

"Yes I am."

"I want to be with you Nick."

I kept trying to calm myself down and I had to remember to control my voice. In a house full of people there is no telling who could hear me.

"I want to be with you too Jimmy."

"But I don't know how."

"Me either. I don't know what to do either."

"I know."

We didn't say anything for about a minute. We just listened to each other breathe and I could hear him blow his nose a few times.

I began to remember that he was just a little bit drunk. My fear came back as I began to wonder what if this was just a one-time thing? What if he had been drinking and got all emotional? What if he woke up tomorrow and regretted calling me? What if he regretted everything he said? I would be reset again. I would be in hell again. I would be forced to relive all of that abandonment, all of that pain all over again.

"So what do we do now?" He asked.

I wanted to keep talking. I wanted to be with him in some way or another. I wanted to fall asleep to his voice. I had to keep some semblance of self-control even if it was inhibited.

"We go to sleep." I answered.

"Sleep?"

"Yes Jimmy. Call me in the morning."

He was silent for a few moments. "Okay."

"Promise?" I asked.

"I promise."

"Okay."

"Wait Nick."

"Yes Jimmy..."

"I like you."

"I like you too," I said with closed eyes and a huge smile.

"Good night."

"Good night."

The next morning I woke up to the distinct smell of bacon cooking. I stayed away from cured meats but the smell still brought back a comfortable nostalgic feeling. The first thing I did was reach for my phone to see if Jimmy was awake yet but I saw that he was not. I looked at the alarm clock and counted on my fingers, it had only been seven hours since our conversation last night.

My head hurt from the wine and I noticed an almost full glass of water on the night stand. I picked it up and threw on a pair of pajama pants before heading for the kitchen.

"Hey," I was greeted as I walked into the kitchen.

I took a drink of the glass and took account that everyone was up and eating breakfast.

"Are you still drinking that from last night?" My mother made a face.

I nodded my head as a little bit trickled down my shirt. The water was cold against my chin.

"Good job slob," my sister teased.

I raised an eyebrow at her and looked down at the wet spot on my shirt.

I wiped my chin and could feel my stubble, "do you guys have aspirin?"

"Can you get him something?" my mom asked my dad.

"Yeah," he sighed.

"Sit." She demanded.

I sat down and pulled out my phone. He still hadn't contacted me but it wasn't even eight in the morning yet.

I took another drink of water just before my mother came up and took the glass from me.

"That's been sitting out all night."

She went to get me another glass but I asked, "Do you have any orange juice instead?"

Just then my father returned with the pill bottle and I took two tablets and chased them with some orange juice.

Then again I checked my phone. It was starting to feel warm through my constant checking.

Without asking my mom put a plate of pancakes and bacon in front of me. The smell was irresistible. My youngest brother watched as I broke off a small piece of bacon and put it in my mouth. I savored its crispiness for a moment before chewing and swallowing. My brother looked at me with anticipation and I held up my finger. The moment my mother's back was turned I took the three strips of bacon and put them on his plate with a wink and a smile. The kid loved bacon and I didn't want to disappoint my mom who already thinks I don't eat enough as it is.

"What are you working on now?" My dad asked.

"Were working on script reading and choreography, principle photography starts after New Year's."

"Where at?" One of my sisters asked.

"Wisconsin."

"So exotic." She mocked.

"You've filmed there before?" My father asked.

"No," my mom said, "They filmed those scenes in Canada."

"They film everything in Canada now." My dad said.

I shrugged my shoulders and checked my phone again.

My sister said, "Just because you keep checking it doesn't mean she's going to text."

I gave her a dirty look.

"She who?" My dad asked.

"Nick has a girlfriend."

"I never said that!"

"Well then why do you keep checking your phone every five minutes?"

I took a bite of pancake and didn't answer her.

"Well as long as you're taking precautions."

"Ewe dad...eating here." My sister said.

My face turned red and I put the fork down. Only halfway through breakfast and the high carb meal was already wearing on me.

"Come on now," my mother said, "not at the table."

"Well, the boy's a man now."

"Seriously dad, I figured this out years ago."

"Ewe!" Two of my sisters said in unison.

"Come on...guys!" My mother demanded.

After breakfast I went for a shower. The hot steamy water and soap smell greeted me with its usual ambiance. Sometimes I would stand beneath the hot stream for long periods of time. Not doing anything outside of just thinking. Usually my best ideas came from showers but most of all I just enjoyed the alone time. It was good.

After I got dressed I realized the time was already past nine o'clock and still nothing from Jimmy. I began to grow nervous as I remembered how recently I had been down this road. The night before I thought that maybe he would do this again but wasn't sure.

Then ten o'clock hit and I had worn the battery down with constant checking and refreshing.

Eleven o'clock and family members were starting to arrive. Still no contact from Jimmy.

I was starting to admit defeat for a third time. I began to let those ideas creep in as more and more time passed. Slowly I began to remember how it felt to be rejected. How it felt to be turned down. I hated myself for feeling so much so soon. I told myself over and over to stop rushing things. I wanted to eliminate the emotion that made me hurt so much on the inside. I wanted it all to go away.

Then right at noon the call finally came through.

"Hello." I answered my phone.

"Hey." His voice cracked with exhaustion.

"Did you just wake up?"

"Yes. Five minutes ago."

I could hear him yawning.

I instantly put away all of my fears, my emotions and the regret I was starting to feel when I thought he abandoned me again. I was touched when I realized that I was his first thought on waking up. Before everything else, he called me.

"Good morning," I said.

"Yes. Good morning." The smile was apparent in his voice. "My mom's been screaming at me all morning."

"I woke up early."

"What time did you wake up?"

"I've been up since eight."

"Of course you have. Man I have such a headache."

"I know I was kind of hung over too."

"I don't really drink that much." He said.

"Me either. I haven't seen my older brother and sister in almost a year."

"Yeah, my parents drink like a fish."

"Mine don't really..."

"...Hold on a second," he said. "What?" He spoke to someone else. "I am awake, I'll be out in a minute."

I laughed a bit to myself when I could easily picture him yelling at his door.

"Sorry about that."

"No it's fine."

"I have to get up soon and go do stuff."

"Me too. Why don't you call me later tonight?"

"What time are you guys eating?" He asked.

"Two."

"So are we. Text me when you're done?

"I will." I said.

"Good." Again I could hear his smile. "Happy Thanksgiving Nick."

"Happy Thanksgiving Jimmy. Tell your mom I said hi."

"She'll love that one."

We both laughed although I was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable at the idea of his mom not liking me.

"Aright. Seriously." He stretched. "Have a good day and don't forget about me."

"I won't."

As each family member arrived I had to go through with the same routine. Who was I with? What was I doing? Where was I going? When would I go there? Why I went there. I hated having to repeat my last year's bio over and over again.

Dinner was good. My parents pulled it off well as they always did. I had no real hang-ups in life and I was just happy to see my family. After the hoopla of dinner everyone had calmed down and went back to treating me like a normal person again. My siblings never failed in that aspect and my youngest sister made sure to tell everyone I had a girlfriend.

This lie never took an ugly turn but even being the slightest bit dishonest with so many people didn't sit well with me either. I especially hated lying to my family. If the truth ever came out I would have to not only be true to who I was, but I would have to back track for the lies I told to cover it up.

"So what did you guys eat?" I asked Jimmy on the phone.

"My mom made sushi."

"Seriously?"

"No." He laughed. "We had the usual, turkey, mashed potatoes."

I laughed, "You should know by now that I'm extremely gullible."

"What?" The sarcasm was obvious in his voice.

"Well at least with you I am." I nervously folded the soft sheet on my bed over my lap.

Silence. I tried to constantly remind myself of his apprehension. Of his nature to run away from all of this. But with him I could not help but to put everything out there. To never let him go without knowing what I was thinking.

"When are you coming back?" He asked.

"Tomorrow afternoon."

"Good."

"Why do you ask?"

"Well. Honestly?"

"Yes." As a nervous twitch I scratched the tip of my nose.

"I miss you man."

Not even the hardest lip biting could stop my smile this time.

"I miss you too, although I just saw you yesterday morning."

"Yeah but it's been weeks since we..."

"I know."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it Jimmy. Shit happens."

"I know it's just..."

More silence as he didn't finish his thought. From my bedroom I could hear my family down stairs.

"Really, I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything." "I want to."

Another smile.

"I know but, don't force yourself."

He nervously laughed, "How could I resist?

I returned his nervous laugh, "What do you mean?"

"It's all about the dark unknown."

"The dark unknown? What's that?" I asked.

"Never mind."

"Tell me?"

He paused for a moment.

"If I tell you don't laugh?"

"Never."

"Liar." I could hear his smile.

"Soooo..." I pressed him.

"The dark unknown. It's what I call your eyes. Every time you look at me I can see the dark unknown."

"You made a pet name for my eyes?" I asked him.

"I said don't laugh!"

"No. No seriously. I love it."

"I know it's weird but..."

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." I interrupted him.

"What?"

"I named your eyes also."

"Really?"

"Since we first met."

"REALLY?"

"Yes."

"Well..."

"Well anyway I'll be home tomorrow and maybe..."

"Tell me. What do you call my eyes?"

"No. You're going to think it's dumb."

"No way...and I told you...so you have to."

More laughter from the living room below came through and I remembered I was in a house full of people.

"The green rainforest."

"The green rainforest?"

I didn't say anything.

"Well that's cute."

"I knew you would think it was dumb."

"Seriously. I love it."

I took count. That was the second time the word "love" had been spoken during this conversation. I said it once but he also said it too. Things were definitely moving too fast. I loved it.

"I want to see you again." I said.

"I know."

I thought about it for a moment. I hesitated and scratched my head. All I could imagine was his eyes. The way he looked at me.

"Come be with me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Tonight. Come to Seattle."

"No way. I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"I've never met your parents, and that would be weird."

"I don't care about that."

"But I do!"

I stopped myself. All I could think about was being with him. Deep in my selfish thoughts I did not consider at all how he felt about it.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push."

"It's okay, because you're right."

"I am?"

"Yes...right now...I mean...we should be near each other."

"Together?" I corrected him.

"Yes...that." He nervously laughed with a smile.

I jumped on my laptop and we talked for at least twenty minutes about possible flights. When everything was all settled we hung up and I counted six hours until I would see him again.

I picked up the room a little bit and then brushed my teeth. I heard my family on the lower floor and as the ramifications of what I've done set in my heart began to race.

I would have to tell them something. A stranger was coming into their home and he would be sleeping in my bedroom. It had a pull out couch but this was still diving head first into the deep end. I wouldn't dare tell them the truth, but I had to tell them something.

Before I could walk down the stairs I grabbed the banister tight. It felt cold to the touch. Slowly I descended as some of the stairs creaked along the way.

I walked into the living room and looked directly at my mother. She was looking at me, already knowing that something was up.

At the last minute I avoided her and looked at my father, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

...to be continued...

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