Hey! There are probably some things in here that aren't accurate - I'm not really sure about the guys management at the moment, so some names are drawn from what I've read with other stories and some are completely made up...it's all part of the drama!
If you are underage, please don't read this...I don't know NSYNC's sexual preferences and I don't mean to say that the people Jive Records are anything like they're portrayed in this story...I'm sure they've been nothing but nice to the guys...but, you have to have some controversy, right? Enjoy!
Chapter 11 - It's hard to say I'm sorry
Lance wiped the sweat away from his forehead and tried to concentrate on the choreography. He and the guys had been practicing for the MTV awards for the last three hours straight and Lance was getting extremely tired.
He was also feeling quite funky. JC had forgotten to set the alarm the night before and he didn't have a chance to take a shower. He just hoped that the other guys weren't too offended. He hated leaving the house without showering and couldn't wait for the lunch break. He was eagerly anticipating their release in a few minutes when he would dash for the dressing room and bathe his body.
He also wanted to break away so he could kiss Josh. He was pretty sure Fatima knew something was up and that she wouldn't have a problem with it, but this morning they had been informed that a reporter from one of the many teen magazines out there was going to do a little story. Lance usually tuned the specifics out, as most of these articles concentrated on the same things and he could do an interview in his sleep.
So, he had been forced to bring out "Straight-Lance" and it was harder than he thought to keep his eyes off JC. He was incredibly sexy when he danced and it was all Lance could do to keep from staring at his hips gyrate to the music.
Lance felt a twinge in his pants and quickly cleared his head of any dirty thoughts. The guys went through the number one more time and then Fatima released them, making sure they knew to be back in an hour.
Lance made a dash for the dressing room, making sure to throw a quick smile towards JC. He knew it probably would be a bad idea, but the thought of JC lathering him up brought back both some good memories and dirty desires he had been harboring.
Once in the dressing room, Lance stripped off his sweaty clothes and reached for his gym bag. He removed his shampoo, soap and a towel and went into the bathroom. As he switched on the water, he heard the other guys make their way in, laughing and joking.
He had rinsed the shampoo out of his hair when he heard the bathroom door open and a figure enter. He didn't want to say anything, but as the shape got closer, he knew exactly who it was.
He opened the shower door and surprised JC, who jumped a little. Lance leaned out and kissed Josh on the nose, letting the water from his hair drip on his lover's face. JC backed away, smiling. Although it wasn't the usual smile. It was definitely forced and Lance questioned him, "Is everything okay?"
JC replied, "Maybe. Someone's here to see you".
Lance wasn't a big fan of sketchy details, but trusted JC and knew he wouldn't get him into anything bad. So, he said he would be out in a minute and quickly finished bathing.
He walked out into the dressing room, clad only in his towel and found the room quiet. Joey, Chris and Justin were gone, leaving JC the only one there. "Where'd everyone go?" Lance asked as he slipped on his boxers.
JC got up off the couch and went to Lance, "They went on ahead to grab some food".
Lane was a little miffed that the guys would leave him, considering he hadn't had breakfast either, "Why couldn't they wait? Is this about the mystery guest here?" JC nodded and Lance went on, "Well, who is it?"
JC began walking to the door as Lance finished dressing, "Your mom's here".
Lance's jaw dropped along with his heart. He wasn't sure exactly what to think at that point. One, he was happy that his mom was here - that she had come across country to see him. On the other hand, he was scared to death to think about why she might be here. It could be simply for a visit, or it could be something more serious.
Well, Lance thought, there's only one way to find out, "Well, I guess I better go see her. Where is she?"
JC pointed to the door, "She's actually right outside. She said to get her when you were dressed".
Lance smiled and put his hand on JC's cheek. He then went to the door and opened it up. He saw his mother sitting on a bench in the hallway and instantly his eyes began to tear up. His mom rose off the bench and without a word came over and hugged him. The tears flowed down Lance's cheeks as he stood in the hallway, his arms wrapped around his mother.
Finally, she spoke through her own tears, "It's so good to see you, James".
Lance felt another round of crying coming on and pulled away from his mom, "I'm glad you came".
He led her inside and as they passed JC, Lance gave him an endearing look. The fact that Josh had waited and told him about his mother when anyone of the crew could've done it, made him love JC all the more.
He sat his mom down on the couch and JC spoke, "Well, I'm gonna go catch up with the other guys. I'll see you later. Nice to see you, Mrs. Bass".
Diane nodded at JC who smiled at Lance. Lance wanted to ask him to stay and hold his hand through whatever was about to happen, but knew he needed alone time. He gave a look of thanks to JC, who left the room.
Diane grabbed a Kleenex and began wiping her eyes and blowing her nose. She then grabbed another and wiped the tears away from Lance's eyes. They sat in silence for a minute.
Finally, Lance broke the ice, "So, how is everything back home?" he mainly meant how was his father handling things, but he didn't want to be too pushy in his conversation.
Diane sighed, "Fine, actually. Nothing much to report. Your sister got a raise at work. She wanted to come, but couldn't take the time off".
Lance nodded as Diane went on, updating him on his family and friends. Lance was used to talking to his mom about every day, so there was a lot for her to talk about. By the end of her status report, she had mentioned pretty much everyone except Lance's father.
So, Lance asked, "How's dad?"
Diane paused and wiped her eyes. Lance saw the sad look in her face and knew things were not much better, "He's fine. Work has been really busy for him, so that's why he didn't come".
She was lying and Lance knew it. He didn't want to start a fight or anything, but knew he had to call her on it, 'Mom, dad could've come. He just doesn't want to see me".
Diane's voice rose, "Well, how do you expect him to feel? You're his only son. He was so proud of you and you shattered that by telling him that you're a..."
She couldn't finish the words, so Lane bluntly stated, "I'm a faggot".
Diane was shocked, "James, don't say those words around me".
Lance was now getting riled up, "Well, it's true. Look, I didn't choose to be this way and I'm sorry if the only thing that makes my dad proud is whether or not I have sex with women. I am so much more than my sexuality. And if he can't see that, then what kind of father is he?"
Diane defended Jim, "He's been a good father to you, James. A good provider. It's just not easy for him to see you like this".
"What way is that," Lance asked, "Happy? Because I think for the first time in my life, I am happy mom. Isn't that what parents want for their kids?"
Diane touched Lance's face, "Of course, but you have to understand. This life you're living. It goes against everything we believe in".
Lane pulled away, "Well, I'm sorry to be so blunt, but that is something that you and God have to deal with. And maybe I will burn in hell for this, but I would rather spend eternity burning somewhere than live my life the way I have for the past twenty years."
Diane's face changed to one of compassion, "Were you really that unhappy?"
Lance replied, "Yes. Deep down I was in pain and I had to be alone in that pain. There's nothing worse than hurting and not being able to share it".
Diane ran her hand through Lance's hair, "I am so sorry you have to deal with all this. I know it can't be easy. But, you have to look at our side too, honey".
Lance got up and walked to the window, "Mom, I understand this is going to take time. And I'm not asking you to jump for joy over this. I just want you to see that I'm your son - same as before. The only thing that has changed about me is I'm not hiding anymore".
Diane walked over to him, "James, no matter what I love you and I know you may question it, but your father does too. I can't say that either one of us will ever totally agree with your lifestyle. But, as long as you are comfortable with it, that's what truly matters."
Lance reiterated, "I'm happy mom".
"Good," Diane said as he pulled Lance into another hug. Lance felt close to his mom again and wanted to be open with her and tell her all about he and Josh; but, he wasn't sure she could handle that right now. The thought of her son liking boys was a far cry from her son having a relationship with one. So, instead he kept quiet, but vowed to never deny it to her.
Lance asked his mom to go to lunch and she agreed. They went to a small deli next to he studio, since time was short. They ate as if things were back to the way they were. The topic of homosexuality never came up and Lance was fine with it. They instead discussed the upcoming show and tour and his mom made a point of telling Lance to save 4 tickets to the Alabama show - for her, Stacey, her husband and Jim. Lance didn't say it, but wasn't going to hold his breath that his dad would come. Still, he said he would save the seats.
As they walked back to the studio, Diane told Lance she had a flight out that afternoon back home. Lance wanted her to stay, but she refused, citing his grueling schedule. She was right - Lance wouldn't have much time over the next few days to see her.
So, he hugged her again at the door and watched as she climbed into a cab. As she drove away, Lance felt a warmth in his heart that he usually only felt with JC. That part of his heart was healing - the part that broke when his parents rejected him. His mom wasn't totally content with things, but she was coming around and he was glad. It was a start. He just hoped his dad would come around too.
Lance walked inside. He could hear the guys' voices emitting from the dressing room down the hall and he wondered if JC had said anything. Surely they knew his mom was there, but he wanted to know if they would ask. He thought he knew them well enough to believe they would let him bring the topic up. He figured he could talk about it at dinner that night. He did want to tell JC right away. He missed him and longed to just hold him briefly before they went back to rehearsal.
Actually, it wasn't much of a rehearsal they were going to at this moment. Johnny Wright, the guys manager, had called them for a meeting after lunch that day. It was probably some tour junk, but Lance was glad to do something besides dancing. Even though it meant not looking at JC's cute butt wriggling around.
As Lance passed the custodial closet, the door swung open and an arm grabbed Lance, pulling him inside. Lance jumped as he was flung in the small, dark room. The door shut quickly before Lane could see who had grabbed him. But, as soon as he felt the soft lips press against his, he knew it was Josh.
"I had to get you back for scaring me at the shower, "JC commented as Lane got adjusted to the darkness.
Lane smiled and squeezed JC into a tight hug, "How'd you know I was coming this way? Have you been waiting long?"
JC laughed, "No, I saw you walking back with your mom and jumped in here," he pulled Lance into a kiss, "So, how did things go?"
Lance sighed, "Okay, I guess. My dad is still having issues, but my mom is trying her best to come around".
JC ran his hand up and down Lance's back, "Well, it's a good start."
Lance agreed, "I know. But, I just wish it was easier".
"The only thing easy I know is you," JC suddenly joked, hoping to lighten the mood.
It worked, because Lance lovingly pushed JC away, "Oh, we'll see how easy I am tonight. You don't even know the meaning of the word ice, buddy".
JC grabbed at Lance again, connecting with his hands. He pulled Lance towards him, planting a kiss on his lips. Lance held them tightly together.
JC tried to get Lance to loosen up, but he wouldn't. JC spoke, "Come on, hon. You said tonight you would be cold to me. It's still daylight outside".
Lance smiled, "Well, I guess you're right". He relented and allowed JC to kiss him properly. He parted his lips, allowing Josh to slip his tongue in.
Lance let out a slight moan as JC's hand ran up and down his chest. JC made it to the bottom of Lance's shirt and lifted it up, revealing his flat stomach. He placed his hand over it, sending a chill throughout Lance.
They continued to kiss, their hands exploring each other over their clothes. A couple of times, JC ran a finger across Lance's crotch, causing him to let out a groan of pleasure. Lance's hands found JC's buttocks and he squeezed them tightly, getting the same vocal reaction as Lance had just given.
The kissing continued for a minute, until Lance heard Justin's voice from the hall, "Lance? Josh? Are you guys around? The meeting's about to start".
Lance pulled away from JC and opened the door. Justin was near the exit door and spun around. He folded his arms, "Doing a little spring cleaning?"
Lance and JC both smiled and said nothing. Justin smirked and followed them into the meeting room, where the management awaited.
Johnny was a good guy. He had been with them through the whole TransCom debacle the previous year and had been a godsend with some of the business aspects that the guys didn't really know about. It was Lance's uncle who had done all the legal work, but Johnny was in the business and knew things that only an experienced manager would know.
The other two men in the room sitting at the conference table, Lance only knew vaguely. One was Steve Riley, Vice-President of something or other at Jive Records and the other was Mike Donner, a big-wig in the PR Department at the same company. Lance wasn't expecting them to be there and was a little worried. Usually when the head honchos showed up, it was more than a social visit.
Justin, Lance and JC all took seats at the conference room table. Lance sat opposite JC and thought briefly about playing footsies, but the serious look on everyone's face made him think better of it.
Lance glanced over at Johnny, who looked away. He was uncomfortable about something and when Johnny wasn't happy, it generally meant that good news was not about to follow. Lance could feel this meeting was not about the upcoming tour.
The other NSYNCers sat with a look of anticipation. Steve stood up and looked at the guys. Lance could tell by the man's eyes that he wasn't happy about something. Lance felt his stomach drop and was glad he had only eaten soup at lunch.
Steve coughed, "Thanks for meeting with us guys. I know you have a lot to get ready for with next week's performance. So, we'll try to make this as brief as possible." He began pacing around the room, causing all the guys to shift uncomfortably, "It has recently come to our attention at Jive that there has been a change in the group dynamic recently and it is a cause of some concern".
Lance looked at JC, who was staring at him. Lance knew exactly what this was about and was getting more and more anxious.
Steve turned to face Lance, and then glanced over at JC, "Is it true the two of you are dating?"
The way he said dating made Lance's skin quiver, as if the thought of two guys was something repulsive to Steve. Lance looked at JC and knew there was no point in denying it. This moment was coming and even though Lance hadn't really thought much of it, he knew it was going to be a big deal. He just wished it could've waited until at least tomorrow. The thought of two heavy conversations about his sexual preference in one day was almost too much to handle.
Still, he knew he needed to stand strong and he simply turned to Steve, calmly replying, "Yes, we are".
Steve nodded, "And how long has this been going on?"
Lance felt two inches tall. Steve was talking to him like he was a child and he resented it. Still, he wasn't in the mood to argue. JC, however, was and stood up, "You know, Mr. Riley, our personal life is really none of your concern," and then pointing to the other guys, "none of us have a problem, so neither should you".
Steve was getting angry, Lance could tell; but, he still held his composure, "JC, this is a big problem. Besides the obvious moral issues, you have your public to think about."
Lance couldn't take it anymore and stood up, inches from Steve's face, "And exactly what kind of moral issues are you talking about?"
That's when Mike stepped in, "Fellas, come on. I think what Mr. Riley means is that if this were to come out, certain people wouldn't approve and it could very well hurt your public image".
JC coldly stated, "We've been careful about things. We know we have to be discreet. We don't like it, but we're doing it, so you don't have to worry about your bankbooks".
This got to Steve, who went back to his seat. Mike took over the conversation. His demeanor was much more calm and Lance knew he was a truly good bullshit artist. Steve smiled, "I know you guys are discreet and I'm not worried about your bandmates saying anything, but you know there are people out there who will blab about your toilet habits if the price is right. That's who we need to be careful about."
Lance and JC sat down. Lance was calmer now, but still not happy about being confronted, "I understand that, Mr. Donner. But, please just get to the point and tell us what you want".
This caught Mike off-guard but he recovered and responded, "It's pretty simple. For now, we do nothing, but if the moment arises, then we may have to take some other measures".
"Like what?" Joey asked. All the guys were into this, since they had a stake in it and it made Lance happy to know his bandmates cared.
Mike warmly replied, "We'll just get you girlfriends".
Lance was about to protest, but Justin stood up, "Look, Mikey. I know that sounds like a great idea, but you're not gonna hire some bimbos to be a beard for the guys. They've been through too much crap to have to lie about this".
Chris stood up too, "I agree," this surprised Lance since he knew Chris had his issues. But, he went on, "Let the public think what they want. It's not like people haven't been speculating for years on this. Hell, I'm sure we've all been pegged as gay at one point or another".
Johnny jumped in, "Guys, I know what they're saying sounds bad, but you do have to look at the big picture here. If this gets out, then it could mean the end of the band. As wrong as it may be for people to hate you because of who you sleep with, that's the way society is and you have to be prepared to pay the price if you aren't careful".
Lance looked at Johnny. He was right. As much as Lance wanted to tell the world about his love for Josh, he knew it wasn't in the cards right now. But, they had been careful and he didn't like these people, who didn't even know them, telling them how to run their lives.
The guys all sat down. Mike was silent for a minute, and then spoke, "Look, I'm not saying we'll ever have to do anything. I'm sure you know how protective celebrities can be about each other sometimes. But, I just think we need to be prepared. And that's my job. Maybe the girlfriend thing is a bad idea, but I'm just making plans."
Steve stood up, apparently tired of the coddling, "You know, if you guys could just keep your dicks in your pants, this stuff would never happen".
Johnny looked at the VP, "Steve, sit down".
Steve was shocked, "I've had to deal with this problem way too many times in my life and frankly, I'm tired of it," he turned to the guys, "You screw who you want to screw, but don't expect us to cover your asses when it blows up in your faces".
With that, Steve walked out of the room. Mike smiled half-heartedly and followed them. Johnny turned to the guys, "Look, I'm sorry. They sprang this on me this morning. If I knew what they wanted to talk about, I would've prepared you better."
JC smiled at their manager, "That's okay, man. I appreciate the help."
Johnny got serious, "And now if I can vent, why didn't you guys tell me?"
Lance did feel a little bad that Johnny had been left in the dark about things. But, it was all so new with Josh, he wanted to make sure it was right before he told him. Still, he apologized, "I'm sorry Johnny. We should've been more up front with you. It's just that we've had so much to handle this last couple of weeks. You kinda fell through the cracks."
Johnny understood, "Well, please no more surprises," he began to leave the room, but stopped, "Just to make sure, none of you other guys swing that way, right?"
The other three shook their heads and Joey stood up and, "Nope. I'm definitely a boob man".
Chris got up, "Man, Joey. You are such a pig sometimes".
Everyone left except for JC and Lance. They fell into each other's arms and just stood there for a minute. Finally, JC asked, "So, are you wondering who else they've had this little problem with like I am?"
Lance chuckled, "Of course. I have to keep my options open."
JC pulled Lance closer, "I'm not going anywhere, Scoop. Nothing is gonna keep us apart".
Just then, the door opened and Justin stuck his head in, "Maybe you oughta go back to the janitor's closet if you're gonna do that".
Lance picked up a coaster from the table and threw it at Justin. Justin disappeared from the door. JC laughed, gave Lance a quick peck on the nose, and they headed back to rehearsal.
There you go...please send in the comments and suggestions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!