Obligatory warnings and disclaimers:
-
If reading this is in any way illegal where you are or at your age, or you don't want to read about male/male relationships, go away. You shouldn't be here.
-
The X-Men and any related characters are property of Marvel Comics, trademarked and registered and copyrighted and all that. I'm using them without permission.
For those who read the comics and worry about such things, this story takes place in the (much simpler and easier to follow) Ultimate X-Men universe, and starts right around issue 54. If you don't want to dig out your copy, the team at that time is Jean Grey, Cyclops, Iceman, Kitty Pryde, Nightcrawler, Colossus, Angel, and Dazzler.
Comments can be sent to "dustyh75@hotmail.com"
Thanks.
"So I phase through the hood of the car and just grab some of the engine pieces, and the car spins out right through me and crashes into this fire hydrant, and there's, like, water everywhere! It was so awesome!" Kitty gushed, grabbing another roll out of the bread basket.
Kitty was so caught up in the story that she didn't really notice that most of the group was just nodding politely, and not really paying attention. Kurt, Jean, and Warren all listened eagerly, nodding and encouraging, but Bobby had muttered something about "another fucking Spider Man story" and was picking angrily at his dinner, clanging the silverware against the plate as loudly as possible as if he could drown her out. The Professor had been distracted for days, heading into the city every day for meetings of some sort that he didn't explain to any of the others, and he was carefully making notes on a pad down at his end of the table as he ate, his fountain pen making a light scratching sound as it crawled across the page. The two of them made an interesting counterpoint of scratching, scratching, scratching interposed with bang! Clang! Bang! It was an interesting backbeat to the rising and falling of Kitty's voice, which was almost like a bird chirping at times.
Allison was out, but that was par for the course. She drifted in and out of the mansion at will, as if she wasn't really a team member, and you'd be hard pressed to call her a student what with her lack of classroom attendance. Peter had eaten as quickly as possible and left the table, plowing mechanically through his dinner without looking up, hulking over his plate and not taking seconds. Scott, sitting across from him, casually picked his way through his food, not quite relaxed since he always seemed pretty tightly wound, but smiling a little. It was always hard to tell exactly what Scott was thinking, even for the ones who had known him longest, because of the glasses that always hid his eyes and the serious, almost grim expression on his face. Most of the team had gotten pretty adept at reading his body language, though, and it was pretty clear that right now he didn't have a care in the world.
They would have gotten a pretty different impression if they'd thought to read Seth's. While he was doing his best to seem natural, he was acutely aware that more often than not acting natural made people appear even more unnatural. His thoughts were a mess, though. Every time he glanced toward Scott he remembered the way his abs looked in the shower, rippled and firm with the water coursing down them, or he remembered the way Scott's biceps flexed when his arms moved. When Scott spoke, asking for the salt or if someone could pass the potatoes, Seth heard him groaning, or asking if he could come to Seth's room tonight, and he had to immediately push the thoughts down and away, forcing himself to think about calm blue oceans or empty deserts or something before one of the two mindreaders at the table caught a hint of his thoughts. Fortunately they were both preoccupied, and Seth's generally insubstantial quality, that odd ability of his to fade into the background of any social setting, kept anyone from paying attention to his constant fidgeting and then deliberate rigidity.
Plus, Kitty was doing a hell of a job of keeping the attention on her.
"So there's, like, water everywhere, and the car stops because I'm standing there in the middle of the street with some important piece of the engine in my hand," Kitty continued.
"Perhaps a brief course in automotive maintenance might be in order," the Professor said quietly, without looking up. "Those engine pieces do have names."
Everyone was silent for a moment, staring at the Professor while they tried to figure out what his tone meant. Was he just amused or was it supposed to be as condescending as it sounded? He looked up in the sudden silence and smiled.
"My apologies, Miss Pryde," he said, holding up a hand. "Please continue."
"Anyway, the guys jump out of the car, and it's just like a cartoon, I swear. Ski masks, one of them holding a bag of money, both of them waving guns in the air, and one of them is like, Gimme that, bitch!' like he's just going to pop the hood open and put the car back together," Kitty continued, laughing. "And P... Spider Man comes swinging down from this streetlight and he's like, Who you callin' a bitch, bitch?' and I'm like-"
"Language, Miss Pryde," the Professor sighed, again not looking up.
"Sorry, sir," Kitty said, her blushing making her freckles look even darker.
"They say that on TV, you know," Bobby grumbled, rolling his eyes at the ceiling.
"Would that we lived inside the television, Mr. Drake," the Professor said, glowering at Bobby. "As we are at the dinner table, however, a certain level of decorum would be appreciated. Miss Pryde, please continue."
"Anyway, Spider Man shoots them both in the face with webs, and they drop their guns and the money to try to get the stuff off their faces, so he kind of punches both of them and then webs them to the street light, and then we got ice cream! It was the coolest date ever!" Kitty said, clapping her hands at the end.
"That was a very exciting night, Kitten," Kurt agreed, nodding. "Does he eat with the mask on?"
Seth snickered, imagining Spider Man smashing an ice cream cone against the front of his mask and then trying to suck it through the mouth area somehow.
Shaking his head, he laid his silverware in the middle of his plate and grabbed his glass and napkin.
"No, he kind of pulls the bottom up so you can see his mouth," Kitty answered. She glanced over as Seth stood. "Are you leaving?"
"Yeah," Seth answered, shrugging. "I have some stuff to do. I'm glad you had fun, though."
"Thanks, Seth," Kitty said, turning back to Kurt and continuing her story.
The plate and glass lifted out of Seth's hands, clattering lightly as the dishwasher fell open. Seth, startled, tried to hold onto them for a second before he caught Jean winking at him. He smiled, letting the plate go, and watched it sail across the room, the napkin flying into the trash and the silverware clattering into the dishwasher. Jean did it all without looking around as easily as a driver might change the radio station without taking their eyes off the road, keeping her attention on Kitty and whatever story she was launching into now.
Seth kind of tuned her out, wandering out of the dining room on auto pilot. He didn't have a specific plan in mind, not really sure of where he wanted to go besides just somewhere to clear his head. The hallways and rooms in the house had already been fully repaired, the scuffs and bullet holes spackled and painted over so well that you'd never know they'd ever been there. Seth was staring at a wall in the foyer, trying to remember exactly where the holes had been just a few days ago, when he heard Warren come padding over, barefoot and shirtless as usual. For all of the Professor's rules about decorum in the dining room, he didn't seem to have a "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service" policy.
"Hey," Warren said, standing next to him. He glanced at the wall thoughtfully for a moment, and then leaned toward Seth, his golden tanned shoulder brushing against Seth's t-shirt sleeve. "Why are we staring at the wall?"
"Oh, sorry," Seth said, smiling sheepishly. "I was just trying to figure out where the holes were. I mean, a couple days ago some guys tried to kill me, and now it's like it never happened. Bodies are gone, walls are fixed, and, I don't know, it just seems so weird that we're back to business as usual like it happens every day."
"Around here it kind of does," Warren said, shrugging. "Ow. Damn it."
"You know," Seth began, starting down the hallway, "You're going to have to learn to stop doing that until you heal up."
"I know. I guess I just have a slow learning curve," Warren sighed, walking alongside him. "Good thing I'm pretty."
"Pretty full of yourself," Seth snickered, even though he couldn't help but agree that, yes, Warren was pretty. He started toward the stairs, but Warren rested a hand on his sleeve for a second. When Seth turned, he saw that War's smile was gone.
"Can I talk to you?" Warren asked, his voice serious all of a sudden. "Outside, maybe? It's kind of private."
"Sure," Seth answered, confused.
Warren was pretty easygoing most of the time, and now that he was with Ali he was blessed-out almost all the time, wandering around the house with a moony grin on his face. What could be wrong with him? Seth had never seen him like this before, not even when they were in the command room downstairs. Warren had looked serious then, his face grim and a little afraid, but nothing like now. His eyebrows were furrowed together, and he was biting his bottom lip as he walked slowly across the lawn. Out here the Professor hadn't been able to patch up the damage as easily as in the house.
The wreckage was gone, but there were large bare patches in the grass. The twilight softened them a little, though, and a cool breeze was blowing, rustling the leaves around them as Warren sat down on the grass, crossing his legs and leaning forward a little, keeping the weight off of his bandaged wings.
Warren gestured at the grass across from him, and Seth settled onto the ground, waiting. Was it bad news? Something about his wings, maybe? Some kind of unforeseen medical problem? If not that, maybe Warren was having some sort of family issue. Seth knew that War's parents had more or less dumped him here and bought off the Professor to keep him, doing their best to make sure they'd never have to see or speak to their mutant son again. Maybe they were planning to come visit, or to send Warren somewhere else. Then again, there was always the chance that it wasn't about Warren at all, but for him to be this serious it would have to be about Ali or Seth. Seth felt dizzy for a second as the thought suddenly crossed his mind that maybe Warren had seen him with Scott earlier, in the showers. Maybe Warren knew! It was the locker room, after all, not a closed bedroom or private bathroom.
Maybe Warren had wandered in and seen the two of them making out and getting off!
"I'm not really sure how to ask you this," Warren began, looking at the ground between his feet. "You're my friend, though. I mean, you saved my life, and I just, I don't know how to talk about stuff like this."
Oh, shit. It was about the thing with Scott. It had to be. Seth tried frantically to think of an excuse, but it wasn't like he could play the "it's not what it looks like" card. Scott had been on him the second he walked into the shower, groping and rubbing and fucking himself against Seth, and Seth had been more than welcoming.
"Just say it, War," Seth said, almost pleading. "Seriously, just spit it out."
"Sorry," Warren said, drumming his fingertips anxiously on one of his knees.
When he looked up at Seth he suddenly looked a lot younger, his expression betraying the maturity of his body. "It's about me and Ali."
Seth let out a sigh of relief. It had been stupid to assume that Warren was going to ask about him and Scott. The whole world didn't revolve around Seth and what he was thinking and doing, as much as he'd like to pretend otherwise.
"Can I ask you a question?" Warren asked. Seth thought for a second that Warren just had, but the look on Warren's face kept him from saying it.
"Sure," Seth answered, shrugging. He leaned backward, his hands in the grass, and glanced up to see if any stars were out yet. It wasn't quite dark enough, but the night was hanging just over the horizon, waiting in the wings.
"Have you, um," Warren began, looking away. His voice was soft and hesitant, and the whole yard seemed to hush around him. "Have you ever been with a girl?"
Seth burst out laughing, but it died in his throat as Warren jumped up, his hands clenching into fists.
"Fuck you!" Warren burst. Instinctively he lifted his wings to fly away, and the tape and bindings pulled painfully, making him yelp in frustration. "God damn it!"
"War, wait!" Seth said, jumping up, but Warren was already stomping across the yard, away from the mansion. "Warren!"
"Go ahead, laugh at me!" Warren yelled. "Some fucking friend you are!"
"Warren, it's not what you think," Seth said, running after him. "I didn't mean-"
Warren spun, his face red and his shoulders tense. All his muscles were tight, the veins in his arms standing out above his clenched fists, and Seth thought for a second that Warren might actually hit him.
"What? Didn't mean to laugh at me for still being a virgin?" Warren demanded. "Real fucking funny, Seth. I thought you were my friend! I thought I could talk to you about this!"
"Warren!" Seth barked, holding up his hands. "Will you calm down for a second?"
"Don't tell me to calm down!" Warren yelled. "You fucking-"
"I wasn't laughing at you!" Seth yelled. "Jesus Christ! I'm sorry I laughed, but it wasn't at you."
Warren still looked pissed, but now it seemed like he just wanted to yell, rather than punching Seth in the mouth. It was a little bit of an improvement, but not quite what Seth was hoping for.
"What were you laughing at, then?" Warren asked, his voice a little lower but still angry.
"Well, your question just kind of threw me," Seth began, and held up his hands. "Not because of what you're thinking! It's just, Warren, have I ever been with a girl? Me? No offense, but I don't usually get asked how many chicks I've nailed."
Warren blinked for a second, his face clearing as realization set in, and then he started giggling. Seth snickered, too, looking at his feet, and when he glanced up again Warren was smiling at him.
"Sorry," Warren giggled.
"Are we ok?" Seth asked, and Warren nodded, sitting back down on the grass. Seth sat across from him. "Now why the hell are you asking me that?"
"Sorry," Warren apologized again, shrugging and wincing. "I just, I told you. I don't really know how to talk about stuff like this. I've never been around people my own age, because of, you know."
He jerked his head back toward his wings, and Seth nodded.
"My parents kept me in the house all the time, except for when I was flying," Warren continued, staring at his own feet as they stuck out from the bottom of his frayed jeans.
"You couldn't fly to a school? Or a playground or something?" Seth asked. "You could have found some kids that way, somebody to hang out with."
"I did, once," Warren answered. His long blonde hair fell forward as he looked down, hiding his eyes. In the gathering dark his face was completely covered in shadow. "I was about thirteen. It's hard to remember for sure, because we didn't celebrate birthdays or anything like that. My parents weren't ever in the house with me, so we never had dinner or parties or anything like that. My mother, she kind of, she couldn't really deal with me, so my father sent her away. She was always at a spa or rehab or something, and my father, he doesn't even think I'm human. I heard him on the phone once when one of the staff called him, and he told them to make sure that `it' was comfortable. Even when he sent me here he basically told the Professor that he was paying him off so that I'd be someone else's problem, or, you know, he had one of the lawyers tell him that."
"Jesus, Warren," Seth sighed, shaking his head. "Kitty told me some of that, but I didn't know it was that bad. No wonder you went looking for other kids."
"Yeah, but that didn't work out so well," Warren sighed. He looked up at the sky, his hair falling away from his face, and Seth thought again that Warren was probably one of the most beautiful men he'd ever seen. He was like a model, or a statue, and the wings just added to it.
"What happened?" Seth asked, looking away. He had enough man trouble already, thanks.
"The other kids were scared of me," Warren answered simply. "I'd never been around other kids, and I thought that they would just automatically like me.
I mean, I wanted to be friends with people so bad that I thought people would want to be friends with me, too, so I waited until none of the staff were looking and ran out into the backyard and just took off. I couldn't really fly very far then, but I got about a mile away and saw some kids on a baseball field, so I landed and kind of ran over to them."
"And?" Seth asked, even though he had a pretty good idea of where this was going.
"They threw the baseball at me," Warren answered, shaking his head. "Then they ran away. I ran after them for a minute because, I don't know, I guess I thought we were playing or something, like I was supposed to throw the ball back, and they yelled at me. No one had ever called me a mutie before, and I just, I don't know, I didn't know what to do. I knew what mutants were from the television, and from magazines, but I'd never really thought of myself as one until then, when they said it to me. Even then, I stayed at the baseball field for hours, until it got dark, because I thought they'd come back, like maybe they'd change their minds and want to come talk to me, but they never did, so finally I flew back home."
"Jesus," Seth sighed, shaking his head. He'd kind of thought all along that since Warren was rich and pretty he'd probably had an easy, spoiled life, a contrast to what had happened to Seth, but it seemed that while Seth had been kicked out, Warren had been abandoned long before he actually left home. "Did you get in trouble?"
"For flying off?" Warren asked bitterly. "No, that was the worst part. When I got back to the house, I went inside and nobody seemed to notice I'd been gone. I went and found the house manager and he told me that they had instructions that if I ever ran away they were just supposed to carry on, business as usual."
"None of them had a problem with that?" Seth asked. "You were just a kid."
"For enough money, people don't have a problem with anything," Warren answered casually. He could tell that Seth was pissed, but he'd had his whole life to deal with being angry over this stuff, while Seth had only had a minute or two. They sat in silence for a minute, Seth brooding while Warren looked at the stars that were finally coming out above them. The breeze reminded him that he wasn't wearing a shirt, and now that it was dark they'd have to go inside soon before he got cold.
"I'm so sorry, War," Seth said finally, pulling his legs up so that he could rest his arms on his knees. He leaned forward with his chin on his forearm.
"What does this have to do with what you asked before? About me and girls?"
Warren looked down again, blushing. Seth couldn't see the reddening in the dark, but the moon was huge and full, and it gave enough light for him to see how uncomfortable Warren was.
"Well, you know how, um, Ali and I are together now?" Warren asked.
"Yeah," Seth answered.
"OK, don't tell Ali I told you this, but she's, kind of, well, she's not a virgin," Warren said, spitting all the words out like he expected Allison to come flying out of the woods to catch him talking about her. Seth had to force himself not to snicker, and didn't speak until he was sure he wouldn't laugh.
"I kind of got the impression that she wasn't," he said finally. "She's been all over you all week, and she's not exactly subtle."
She'd been so unsubtle about helping War "tarnish his halo", as a matter of fact, that the Professor had taken her into his office and spoken with her about proper conduct. In Seth's opinion, it hadn't really been all that improper. They were a school, and were at least high school seniors if not college freshmen. A little public affection, hanging on your boyfriend's arm at dinner or making out in the back of the rec room during a movie, was pretty much par for the course. Jean and Scott did it all the time, and the Professor never said anything to them. It's not like Ali was blowing Warren in the Danger Room or riding him on the dining room table (either of which Seth would have eagerly made popcorn and pulled up a chair for), but it was the Professor's opinion that private matters should remain private, or at least not broadcast at every possible opportunity.
"Yeah," Warren said, blushing again. His voice was almost stammering. "So we've, um, we've kind of fooled around a little, and, uh, we've done some stuff."
Seth waited, not sure if he was supposed to congratulate Warren or what. It was nice to see him and Ali together, and it seemed to be working out really well for both of them. Warren looked happy all of the time, sometimes to the point of looking mentally challenged, and Ali seemed a lot less bitchy. If nothing else, she was doing a really good job of keeping him from thinking about his injuries, and the fact that he couldn't fly for a while.
"So, um," Seth began, not sure what he should ask or how much he wanted to know. "Is there something wrong?"
"I've never done that before!" War bust suddenly, his voice tight with frustration. "I mean, I've never done any of that before! I've never had anyone touch my, you know, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do or if I'm doing it right or what!"
"Never?" Seth asked, astonished. Warren shook his head, looking pained, and Seth realized just blurting it out like he'd never before heard of such a thing probably wasn't helping Warren's self esteem. "I know you said you're a virgin, but you never did anything with anyone?"
"Who was I supposed to do anything with?" Warren asked, shrugging and, of course, wincing. "I told you I've never been around anyone my own age."
"You never had a, I don't know, a horny maid or a tutor who thought you were cute or anything?" Seth asked. After years of soap operas and Dominick Dunne books he was reasonably certain that all rich teenagers had an endless supply of maids, nurses, and tutors to fool around with, fall in love with, or just get pregnant and have fired. "No one ever made a pass at you?"
"You slept with your teachers?" Warren asked, his mouth dropping open.
"No!" Seth blurted. "That's not what I was saying! I don't know, I guess I just thought maybe some of the staff might have, I don't know, like on TV or something."
"None of them were ever close to me," Warren answered, shaking his head. "My father had them switched out every few weeks, so that they wouldn't be able to, and most of them were old, like really old. That would just be creepy, and kind of gross. I mean, would you sleep with the Professor if he made a pass at you?"
"God no," Seth answered, shuddering. The Professor was so creepy and overbearing even on the best of days that Seth couldn't imagine what he'd be like in bed. None of them even knew for sure if his equipment was still functional, although Bobby had pointed out during a discussion in the rec room that "he doesn't roll around in a diaper", so it was probably technically possible. "OK. Um, Warren, do you know what sex is? Like, you know, how it all works?"
Warren gave Seth such an annoyed, sarcastic look that Seth felt himself blushing.
"I have cable and the internet, Seth," he said bluntly, his voice sharp. "I think I know how it all works."
"Then why are you asking me about it?" Seth asked, throwing up his hands.
"I don't have anyone else to ask!" Warren answered. "I mean, I can't talk to the Professor about it, and who else would I go to? Scott? Jean? Ali would kill me if she found out I talked to any of the team about this. She already thinks they all hate her as it is."
"I'm not on the team now?" Seth asked. "I defeated Sabretooth, you know. Kitty made me a shirt and everything."
"You wore it yesterday," Warren snickered, rolling his eyes. "You're different, though. Ali likes you. I'm not going to tell her I asked you about this, but if she knew she wouldn't think that you were judging her, you know?"
"Yeah, I get it," Seth answered, nodding. "I still don't see what the problem is, War."
"Ali wants to, you know, do it," Warren answered uncomfortably. "And I've been kind of making excuses and we've been doing other stuff to each other, but I'm kind of, I'm scared I'm going to do it, I don't know, wrong."
Seth raised an eyebrow.
"War, I don't think it's possible to do it wrong," he said soothingly. "I mean, once you line the pieces up you kind of just go for it."
"I know, but I just, I want it to be good," War said. "I want to be good at it. How do you know if you're good at it?"
"I don't know," Seth answered, shrugging. "I mean, it's easier with guys. If the guy is excited, it's pretty obvious with it sticking out and all, and if he enjoys it, well, eventually that's pretty obvious, too. Girls are a little trickier."
"So what do I do?" Warren asked. Seth was tempted to answer, "Switch to guys! Take your pants off and I'll help!", but figured that probably wasn't the right answer.
"Well, I think you just pay better attention," he answered. "If it looks like she likes something, keep doing that. Or you could always ask her what she likes. You don't have to come right out and be like, `I don't know what I'm doing. Can you give me some pointers?' You could just ask her how she likes it, or if there's a way that she prefers."
"That's the best you can do?" War asked, sighing.
"Hey, I told you I haven't been with any girls, War," Seth said, holding up his hands. "If you wanted to know how to give better blowjobs, I could probably help you out, but me and the vagina, we're not really friends."
Warren blinked at Seth for a minute and then burst out laughing, and Seth joined him. They stood, and began walking back toward the house.
"I'm glad you came here," Warren said, clapping Seth on the back. "You're a good friend."
"Thanks," Seth said, smiling. "Look at it this way. She's liked what you've done so far enough to keep coming back, so you can't really be screwing it up that badly."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Warren giggled, rolling his eyes. "You really know how to build a guy up."
"Look, War, just make sure that when you feel good she feels good, too," Seth advised. "And everything should be fine."
Warren nodded, wandering off down the hallway in search of Allison.
Seth sighed, wishing his own romantic problems were that easy to solve.
To be continued.
Also, in the last chapter I described Seth's X Men outfit. I was working from a series of sketches that AJ, a talented fan, has emailed me. :)