Hi all! Sorry this chapter took so long, but like I mentioned in the last chapter, life is way hectic these days.
Before we get started, there are a few folks I really need to thank:
DaveD from Texas-dude, thanks! For everything and we are serious about the visit!
M&D-the historians-you guys inspire me. The love you have for one another comes alive in your words, flows from the screen, and deeply touches my heart. I pray that Lynn and I achieve what you have built together.
WayneB, man, thanks for always knowing when I need the `pick-me-up' that you manage to send.
Thanks also to all who have written. I appreciate your comments and thoughts more than words are able to express.
Finally, to Lynn, my love, my heart, my life; without you, I am nothing...with you, I am invincible. I love you, and need you more than you will ever know...
sigh :-) I do love that man of mine!
OK...on with the show.
The ride back to Charlotte was quiet. I spent a lot of time reflecting on the service for my aunt. Mom and Uncle Jack had opted for a short service, to spare Jack and the kids. There had only been one hymn, "How Great Thou Art," which was Sandy's favorite. The service at the graveside had also been thoughtfully brief. It was a cold, damp Monday and the weather only added to the emotional turmoil we all felt. Michael had been adamant that Travis and I sit with him. I know we got some stares, and a lot of glares (hey, news travels fast in a small town. I was the only `out' person around, and I guess the glarers figured that Travis was my boyfriend) but fortunately, Michael was too out of it to notice the looks we were getting. During the service he held up pretty well, but at the graveside, he lost it. It was difficult, physically and emotionally, holding him as he cried great heaving sobs. As my own tears flowed down my face, I just held his head on my shoulder, my hand on the back of his head, and gently rocked him. His crying set off both Elizabeth and Uncle Jack. Mom was trying to comfort both of them, when, to everyone's surprise, especially Travis', Elizabeth went to Travis for comfort. He picked her up and sat her on his lap, gently rocking her, like a baby, brushing her hair, and whispering, so that only she could hear, words that eventually gave her the comfort she needed. As painful as the moment was, it was a moment of deep healing as well. It's a moment that is etched into my memory as deeply as any other memory I have of Travis. My reverie was interrupted as we drove up to campus. While it was good to get back to the comfort of my schedule, I was hurting for my uncle and his kids, wishing I could be there to help, to help lessen the pain, to help them learn how to live without Sandy. But, my responsibilities were here, at school. Travis helped me take my things up to the room. We dumped the suitcases onto the bed and Travis pulled me into a hug. "I'm going to miss not being around you every day," he said. "I sure got spoiled waking up every morning with you in the bed with me." "I bet I don't sleep worth a damn for a while," I replied. "I'm going to have a busy day tomorrow," he said, "playing catch-up. But, I wouldn't trade this past weekend for anything. I still feel a bit responsible for Sandy and Jack fighting..." and he put his finger to my lips to stop me from interrupting, "but, I'm glad that I was there to spend Thanksgiving with our family, and I'm glad that you were there for Michael, and I cannot tell you how it made me feel when Elizabeth came to me for comfort. That told me that she forgave me, and she trusted me. I love that little girl, and I intend to make sure that the rest of her life is a happy one. God help any boy, or girl, that ever breaks her heart." I tilted my head up and kissed him gently. "I love you, Travis." "And I love you, Jeremy." "A-hem..." we heard Billy clearing his throat. We pulled back, but Travis kept his arm around my waist. "Jeremy, Travis, this is Krystal," Billy introduced the girl he had with him. "Krystal, this is Jeremy, my roommate, and Travis, his fiancé'." "Hi, Krystal," I said, extending my hand. She didn't take my proffered hand. "Hello," she said to the two of us. "Well, I've still got another half-hour trip ahead of me," Travis said, "and a long day tomorrow, so I guess I'll be going." He turned, kissed me lightly on the forehead and said, "I'll call you in the morning, ok?" "Ok," I said. "Bye, Billy," he said. "It was nice to meet you, Krystal," he said. He leaned over, and whispered in my ear, "I love you, babe." I whispered in his ear, "I love you, too," and I kissed his ear. With that, he left. Krystal just stared at Travis as he left, not saying a word. "Hey, babe," Billy said to Krystal, "what's the matter?" "I'm not so sure I like dating a guy who has a fag for a roommate," she said. Billy backed up, looked at her and said, "Get the fuck out of my room." "See," she said. "That's why I don't like this. I figured that you were doin' him," she said. "Now wait just a minute," I started. "No!" Billy said. "Krystal, I like you, a lot, but I don't like your attitude. I'm straight. I don't care if you believe that or not, but I am. On top of that, you're making a hell of a judgment about someone you don't even know. Unless he's been lying, Jeremy is still a virgin, unlike other people in this room. I respect him for that, and I respect Travis even more. Travis has been in a relationship before, and respects Jeremy enough to wait until they have their wedding, or whatever, before they have sex. I'm not doin' him, and he's sure as hell not doin' me! If you don't like the fact that my roommate is gay, not a fag, but gay, then I guess you and I won't be seeing anymore of each other." "So you're choosing him over me?" she asked. "No, you are." Billy said. Krystal stormed out of the room, and while she was standing in the hallway yelled back at Billy, "You can deny it all you want Billy, but I know Jeremy is blowing you." "You sorry bitch!" Billy said as heads started popping out of doors. Krystal had a smug look on her face. "You know, Krystal, I said I liked you? Well, one of the reasons I thought I might like you is because your friends said you were an easy lay. You are, but your not a good lay, or even a satisfying lay. Hell, jerking off is better than you sucking my dick, or even me fucking you. But watching you lick that girls pussy earlier tonight, now that was hot, and you sure seemed to enjoy her tongue more than my dick." Krystal looked like she was gonna blow up. "That's a fuckin' lie!" she screamed. "So is you saying that Jeremy blows me. He doesn't. Period. You want to take it back, and I'll take back the part about you being a bad lay." "I'm not a dyke!" Krystal yelled. "But he is a fag! You both told me so, and I saw him kissing that guy!" "Krystal, I think it's time you leave this dorm," Billy said, "before you get yourself into trouble with the campus review board, and the campus police." Krystal turned around and stormed off, as heads started popping back into their rooms. "Billy, man, I'm afraid you're gonna catch a bunch of shit about this. And I sure didn't want you to loose a girl over me." "Jeremy, shut the fuck up. You're my friend, and I don't care if you're gay or not. If anybody else has a problem with that, or with us being roomies, then fuck `em!" And he came over and gave me a big hug. "Actually, Jer, I'm afraid you're the one who's going to be having big problems. And, if you do, just remember that I'm here for you." There was no way to begin to realize just what kind of trouble was headed my way. And it didn't wait long to show up. In fact the next morning, when Travis called, Billy got up to head for the bathroom while I was filling Travis in on the events of the previous night. When Billy stood up, he said, "What the..." and bent over at the door, picked up a piece of paper, looked at it and crumpled it up. "I'll be right back," he said as he headed out the door. I finished telling Travis about the run in with Krystal, and then told him I'd call him later. Something about the way Billy had walked out of the room disturbed me so I headed toward the bathroom in search of Billy. As I got close to the bathroom, I heard Billy talking. "I don't care what any of you guys say, Jeremy is ok. He's never laid a hand on me, never tried anything with me, nothing. You guys better fuckin' lay off him, you hear me?" "Look, Billy, we know you like your roommate, but, man, he takes showers with us, and he might be looking at us or something." "Lane, I've seen you naked, and you're nothing to look at, and you sure as hell don't have anything that would entice anyone, straight or gay." "Oh, so you have been looking at me!" "Lane, the way you strut around the shower, grabbing your dick and shaking it at everyone, how the hell are we not supposed to see it? Well, when you move your hand we can see it." That comment got several laughs. "I'm serious guys," Billy continued. "Don't fuck with Jeremy. He's never done anything to any of you, and he never would. I'd think that as many times as he's helped ever person in this room, who he wants to sleep with wouldn't make any difference to any of you. Jeremy is a great guy, no, a great man. He called me Saturday to let me know he wouldn't be back Sunday night because his aunt got killed the day after Thanksgiving. He called so I wouldn't worry about him. Do any of you value your roommate that much? I know that Barry doesn't because nobody ever knows where he is. Some things you guys don't know is that Jeremy almost got killed trying to save his cousins life. Any of you that saw Travis last night saw the bandages on his head, and arm. That's where he got hit with busted glass trying to save Jeremy's cousin too. Neither of these guys thought anything about their personal safety, they just cared that his cousin blamed himself for his mom's death, and was intent on killing himself. So, I ask you, do any of you have the balls to risk your life like that?" There was a long silence. "I didn't think so," said Billy. "Hell, I don't know that I would have either. All I'm saying is, whoever wrote this note, you'd better hope like hell that I don't find out who it is, because I'll risk getting expelled making sure you never make good on this threat. Do I make myself clear?" "What threat?" I asked as I walked into the bathroom. Every guy in the bathroom shifted nervously. "Nothing, Jer. I'm taking care of it," Billy said as he tried to hide the crumpled paper in his hand. "Give," I said. "No," he replied. "Billy, I heard what you just said, and I appreciate it. Actually, I think that more than a couple of you would have done exactly what Travis and I did. I know you guys, and I know what great people you are. I just want to know what got you so upset," I said as I looked at Billy. "Now give." "Jeremy, please, don't," he said. "Billy, give it up." "Don't worry about it, Jeremy," one of the other guys said. "Yeah, Jer, just let it go," they all chimed in. "No. Apparently somebody on this hall wrote something pretty bad because they found out more about me than they were comfortable with. Don't you think it's my right to know what I might face, or might have faced?" "I really don't think you need to see this," said Billy. "Not your call, bud," I said as I walked up to him, my hand out. He handed me the crumpled paper. On it was written, "Watch your back, faggot, cuz faggots should die." I was stunned. I honestly never thought that my sexuality could ever bother anyone that much. I had lived all semester with these guys. At various times we had all seen each other naked, or mostly naked. I had held a couple of these guys as they puked their guts out from drinking too much. I had listened to a couple of them when they were upset or homesick or depressed. I had been a friend to just about every person on this hall, and yet, someone was so repulsed by who I am that they threatened me. And what really upset me, is I was pretty sure who it was. I paused a minute to collect my thoughts. "This is a death threat, Billy," I said. "It's just a prank," Lane said, nervously. "How do you know, Lane?" I asked. "Did you write it? Do you think it's funny? How would you like waking up tomorrow morning with a note under your door that said, `Polocks are stupid and should die' or how about you, Juan? How would you feel if you got a note that said `Die wetback'? This is not funny, not at all. I can't tell you how bad this hurts me. Do I scare you that much? Huh? Do I?" I was beginning to cry. "I have treated every one of you like a brother. Hell, you are my brothers. We've shared a lot this semester, some good, and some bad. And yet, someone here wants to kill me because I'm in love with a guy? How fucked is that?" "It's not normal, Jeremy," Tom, a sophomore who was one of the ones who I held while he puked. He had gotten drunk because his girlfriend from back home called him to break up with him. Seems she had cheated on him while he was gone, going further with one of his best buds than she had ever gone with him, and now she was pregnant. "Normal? Jesus, Tom! What the fuck IS normal? Is getting bombed off your ass, and crying like a baby because your girlfriend gets knocked up by someone else normal? Is having to wear the same jock for every game, whether or not it's clean, is that normal, Lane? You think I want to be gay? You think I particularly want to put up with discrimination, backstabbing, and death threats? You think I'm fucking nuts?" I was almost hysterical. "I loved you guys like my brothers, and this is how you repay me? Fuck all of you, you're a bunch of fuckin' losers, and I don't fuckin' need you!" I turned to walk out of the bathroom, but Tom stepped in my way. "You're not leaving that easy," he said. "Get out of my fucking way!" I said. I felt hands grab my arms, and I jerked violently away. I was coming unglued. "Calm down, Jer," it was Billy. "You guys want to know what's fucked?" I asked. "My aunt is dead because she felt the way you guys do. She and my uncle were fighting because my cousin thinks he might be gay. She and my uncle were fighting, because she wanted to have my cousin committed to a mental institution, so they could `fix' him, and my uncle told here there was nothing wrong with their son, and that there was no way in hell he was going to allow his son to be institutionalized for being what God made him to be. The last words my cousin heard his mom scream at her husband was that no son of hers was going to be a limp-wrested, dress-wearing, pansy faggot, and she stormed out of the house. Five minutes later, she was dead, run over by a big truck. "Have any of you ever seen the picture I have of my cousin? He's the quarterback of his JV football team. He's 6'1", weighs about 190, and is solid muscle. He would put several of you to shame in the looks department. He's a man. A man's man. "Have any of you ever seen me act in any way that was anything other than normal? Have I ever done anything to make any of you feel weird? No? Well neither has my cousin. And yet, this note," I said waving that crumpled paper, "the emotion behind this note is what killed my aunt, and almost took my cousin from me too. I hope you're fuckin' happy. I'll be out of your hair before you know it," and I pulled myself out of the hug Billy had gotten me into and walked back down to my room. I sat down on my bed, wiped out emotionally. Billy walked in and sat down beside me, and put his arm over my shoulder. "I hope you're kidding about the getting out of here part." "Fuck no," I said. "I know when I'm not wanted, and where I'm not wanted. Travis has a personal car, and I'll just drive down for the next three weeks." "Jeremy, please, man, don't go. I watched those guys while you were talking. I think you really got to them, and I think they feel badly for the way they changed their attitude about you because of what Krystal said. Please give them another chance." "Billy, the only other guy I love more than you is Travis. The only other person in this world that I'm closer to than you is him. You are my best friend. I hope you can understand this, but I just don't know how I can live in a building where someone would threaten my life, even if they didn't really mean it. I feel violated, and not safe," and I started to cry again. Billy pulled me to him and hugged me for a while as I cried. After a while, when I was cried out, as much from the emotional leftovers from the funeral as from the note, he said, "let's go get us cleaned up, and get to class. Just promise me you won't leave until we have the chance this evening. Promise me, ok?" "Ok, Billy. I promise." We showered, alone in what was normally a crowded bathroom. That it was empty was not lost on either of us. When we got back to the room, I called Travis at work, as Billy got dressed. I gave him a pretty edited version of what had happened, and he asked me what I wanted to do. "I promised Billy I wouldn't leave until he and I talked tonight. But I need you here when we talk, to maybe give us both a perspective we may be overlooking." While Billy stepped out of the room for a minute, I compared the crumpled note to another note I had. They matched, almost perfectly. Travis was waiting for me in the lobby at 4pm when I got back from my last class. Since everyone knew by this point that I was gay, I saw no point in hiding anymore, so, when he stood up, I walked up to him, and kissed him as I said hi. We got a few curious looks, but nobody said anything. "So, how was your day, babe?" he asked as we got into the room. "Pretty bad," I said as I threw my books onto my desk. "Lots of stares and whispers. Some really nasty looks, but all of that I can handle. Between classes, I went to the dean's office, and asked them what I should do. They wanted the note, and were prepared to expel the student that wrote it. I told them the note was gone, which it's not, but I lied." "Why?" he asked. "That was a death threat, babe." "I know, but I can't help but think that ignorance wrote that letter, and, I'm not willing to undo someone else's education because of ignorance. Maybe this whole thing will be a learning experience for this person. In fact, I know who wrote the note, and I plan on confronting him this afternoon." "Jeremy, baby, you're something else," Travis said. About that time Billy showed up. I suggested that we leave the door open to talk, "I wouldn't want anyone to think we're having some kind of orgy or anything," I said, a bit louder than I needed to. "I take it you're still pretty upset," Billy said. "Uh, yeah!" I said, sarcastically. "Jeremy, there is absolutely no excuse for the person that wrote that letter. In fact, the deans office asked me for the note, and I'm supposed to take it to them tomorrow." "Funny, Billy, they said the same thing to me," I said. I had heard footsteps sneaking towards our door. "The thing is, Billy," I continued, "I told them the note was gone." "Why would you say that," Billy asked. "The note is right there on your desk." "Well, like I was just saying to Travis, the dean's office said that whomever wrote that note would be expelled." I heard a gasp outside the door. "Lane, why don't you join us," I said. He walked in, looking guilty. "Lane, if you're gonna do something as stupid as write a death threat, you really should disguise your handwriting." I said. "So, I guess you're gonna give them the note and get me expelled?" he asked. "What would you do?" I asked. "I'd turn me in," he said. "Lane, I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to answer me truthfully, and I want you to look me in the eye when you answer, because I know what a crappy liar you are. Your answer will decide whether or not I turn you in." He gulped, and looked at me. "Why did you write this note? The real reason." Lane shifted uncomfortably, and looked at the floor for a minute. "Can I close the door?" he asked. I thought for a moment, and said, "You know, Lane, I should say no. I should not respect your privacy any more than you respected mine when you wrote that note. But, I don't really want you to get kicked out of school, and if you can't answer my question truthfully with the door open, I'd rather have an honest answer, so, close the door." He thought for a moment about what I said, and then he looked at me. "This is hard for me," he said. "You were right when you said that we were all brothers here. I've talked to you about all kinds of things, and there are things I've told you that I've never told anybody. And, what I'm getting ready to tell you is something I've kept hidden for two years." A tear escaped his left eye, and traveled down his cheek. Suddenly, he crumpled onto the floor and started crying. "Billy," I said,"shut the door." He got up and shut the door as I sat down beside Lane, and pulled him to me in a hug. "Lane, I don't know the details of what you have to tell me, but I know what you're getting ready to say. But before you do, I need to tell you something. Two things actually. "First, that note really, really hurt me. As soon as I saw it, I knew that you had written it. I'd know your chicken scratch anywhere." He smiled a little at that. "Second, I forgave you this morning, as soon as I walked out of the bathroom." "How could you do that?" he asked, with a shocked look on his face. "Knowing that it was you that wrote it, and remembering a certain conversation we had early in the semester, where you were trying to tell me something, but not telling me, I put two and two together, and knew that fear, or repulsion had written that letter." "It was fear," he said. "Let me guess," Travis interjected. "You're not a virgin in man-to-man sex. And probably not by your choice." "Is it that obvious?" he asked, the pain obvious in his voice. "No," Travis, said, "but now it makes sense." "What the hell are you guys talking about?" asked Billy. "Two years ago I was basically raped by two guys," Lane said. "I was a junior in high school, on spring break at the beach with a bunch of friends. We were at Atlantic Beach. That Wednesday night, I used a fake ID to get into a couple of the clubs. I met a couple of marines, we all got to partying together, and they invited me back to their motel room to get high. I had never tried pot before, and was already pretty buzzed, so I went back to their room with them, not heeding the warning of any of my friends, or what I had been taught all my life about being wary of strangers. Well, I'm a lot more wary now." "You know, Jeremy, maybe it's because you are gay, and yet you seem so normal that I was able to open up to you the way I did. Maybe I subconsciously knew you were gay, but normal acting. I don't know. But after that night, I shut out all my friends, and withdrew. I haven't been close to anyone since that week. I lost a lot of friends. Let me back up and tell you what happened." "You don't have to do this," I said. "I know why you wrote the note now, and it's over." "No, Jeremy, I need to get this off my chest. Anyway, their names were Scott and Todd. They were nineteen years old, and on a weeks leave. Neither of them could afford to get back to their homes out west, so they took a room at Atlantic Beach for the week to party. On the way back to their hotel room they were talking about how disappointed they were that they hadn't been able to hook up with any girls and get laid yet. Then Scott said, `but the night is young, and there's no telling what we might be able to get our dicks into tonight!' "That got me even more excited. The prospect of maybe losing my virginity. Little did I know that that's exactly what would happen. "We got to their room, and smoked a joint. It went straight to my head, and I was buzzing like never before. Todd whipped out a deck of cards and suggested we play poker. I told them I didn't have much money, and they said, well, since it's just us guys, we could always play strip poker. I thought it was kind of stupid, but I went along with them. Hey, I was high, they seemed cool, I didn't figure it would be a problem. "We played several hands, and somehow, I managed to loose every other hand, so I was down to nothing but my underwear and they were both almost completely clothed. We paused to smoke another joint, and pop another beer each. I was really high. Everything they said made me laugh, and they were laughing at me. Todd suggested we continue the game. Needless to say, I lost the first hand. "I said `well, I guess I lose. I have nothing else to take off.' Todd said, `Well, we could always keep playing, who knows, you might win!' "I figured `what the heck.' I mean, I was really, really buzzing. Scott lost the next hand, and ended up in his underwear. I had thought he had on more clothes, and then Todd lost the next hand, and wound up in his underwear. Again, I thought they had on more clothes than that, but hey, it looked like I was winning. Sure enough, Todd lost the next hand and stripped. He had a pretty big dick, and it was already about half hard. I don't know why, but seeing it got me kind of horny too. "'Well' Scott said, `I guess that means I'm the winner. What do I win.' `Let's play one more hand' Todd said. `Maybe ole Lane and I can whoop up on you and get you nekkid too!'" "Sure enough, Scott lost the next hand, and we were all naked. By this time, Todd had a full-fledged hard-on, and it was a big one. I'm guessing at least 8 ½ inches. And when Scott pulled off his briefs, he was hard too, and he looked to be a little longer, and a little thicker than Todd. "Damn, you guys. You must really miss the women," I said. "Scott had a really funny grin and said, `man, at this point, anything would do.'" "'Hey,' Todd said, `I got an idea, let's play one more hand.' "What will the loser lose?" I asked. "'How about having to give the winner a hand job' Scott suggested." "I don't know, guys," I said nervously,"I'm not really into that shit." "'But what if you win?' Scott asked. `Me or Todd would have to give you a hand job. Would that be so bad? You laying back, closing your eyes, pretending it was your girl wanking you off?'" "His argument sounded good. Hell, at that point, I was so high, and horny, they almost could have talked me into sex without the card game." "The long and the short of it is, I won the first hand, and they talked me into upping the ante to a blow job if I won again. I lost, so I was even, but they said it was only fair to give them the chance to win a blowjob. Scott won and I lost. Todd had the idea to play another hand to give me the chance to beat Scott again. I countered with what would happen if I lost. I'd have to blow both of them, but if I won, we were even again. To make a complicated game short, I wound up owing both of them both a blowjob and an assfuck. And, when we played the game that would have gotten me out of it, of course I lost. "I tried to talk them out of it, but I was naked, in their room, and somehow, my clothes had disappeared. I was outnumbered, and it wasn't long before they had me on the bed sucking their dicks. "I begged them not to make me, but the did anyway. Scott went first, and it took me about ten minutes to get him off. They made me swallow their cum." At this point, Lane was sobbing, hard. "Lane, you don't have to go any further," I said. "Yes," he sobbed, "I owe you this." "No, you don't. This is way too personal, and way too painful." "Actually, Jer, it feels good to finally tell someone what happened." "You mean you never told anybody?" Travis asked. "Not until tonight. "Anyway," he continued, "what really fucked with my head was, I was getting off on sucking Scott's dick. Then when he spooged in my mouth, I almost shot my own load all over the bed. And, I hate to admit it, but the whole time I was sucking him, I wondered what it would feel like for him to fuck me. They reminded me that I owed them both a blowjob and a fuck. "Well, as soon as Scott shot off in my mouth he told me to clean him up good, so I did. Then Todd pulled me over to his dick, and I went to work on him. "'Hey, Scott, he sure got the hang of this quick,' he said. `Let's see how well he works at the other end,' Scott replied. "I pulled off of Todd's' dick and said, `hey man, why don't you just let me blow you again? Please?'" "' No way, dude. A bet is a bet, and welchers get the shit beat out of them. You welch on the bet, and we beat the hell out of you, and dump your naked ass out the door.' Todd replied. "I went back to sucking on Todd's dick, again, getting off on what it felt like to have that hard, but velvety smooth dick sliding in and out of my mouth, and down my throat. Scott had gotten off the bed, but came right back, and started smearing something cold and slimy on my ass. Then he pushed in one finger. It startled me at first, but then he rubbed something inside me that made me see fireworks! I was hating myself. I was getting off of sucking one guy, and getting off on the other guy finger fucking my ass. "He worked the one finger in and out of me while I sucked on Todd, then Todd made me suck his balls for a while. As I was doing this, Scott worked another finger up my ass, and then pretty quickly got a third finger up in me. Then Todd slid down the bed some, lifted his legs, and told me to lick his ass. I was disgusted at first, but what was I going to do? I started tonguing his ass, and, by his instructions, licking, sucking, and sticking my tongue in there. "While I was engrossed in doing his ass, Scott pulled his fingers out of my ass, and I was surprised to feel an empty loneliness. But that feeling didn't last long, because before I knew it, he had his big assed dick inside me. He put the head up to my asshole, and just pushed in in one long, continuous push. It kinda hurt at first, but, as much as I hate to admit it, pretty soon I was really getting off on this guys big dick sliding in and out of me. In fact, what he was doing to my ass made me work even harder on Todd's ass. ":hen Scott said he was in, and Todd had me start back on his dick. I can't believe how excited I was to get his dick back in my mouth. I was fuckin' moaning! "Todd took my head in both of his hands and started fucking my mouth. `Yeah, fag boy, suck my big marine dick,' he said to me. Scott was asking me if I liked that big marine dick of his fuckin' my faggot ass. The tears were running down my face when I admitted to myself that, yes, I really did like his big dick fucking me. "I gave myself completely to them that night. I swear, I think I gave them my soul, because ever since, there has been an ache in me that won't go away. "I swallowed more than one load apiece from them, and they both fucked me more than twice that night. Before I left on Friday morning, yes, I went there on a Tuesday night, and left Friday morning, but, before I left on Friday morning, they had each fucked me six or eight times, I had eight or ten loads of their cum in my belly, and when they let me cum, they would catch it in their hands, and make me eat it. "I can't tell you how degraded I felt when I left that Friday. They told me what a great time they had had. `Sure,' I thought to myself, `you've fucked me every which way possible, even one time when both of you were up my ass at the same time, I bet you had a good time.' "The problem is, I knew I had loved ever minute of it. In fact, when we woke up Wednesday, I sucked Todd off while Scott fucked me, and I was stone cold sober, and I loved every minute of it. "I hated myself for doing what I did, and for liking. I wasn't gay, dammit! I couldn't be! I liked girls too much. "I spent the next two months trying to convince myself that it was the drugs. But it wasn't. I've spent the last two years denying what I know to be the truth. I'm a faggot. A dick sucking, getting fucked in the ass faggot." I put my finger over his lips and stopped him. "You are a lot of things, Lane, but a faggot is not one of them. You may be gay, or you may just like gay sex, but I don't think you're anything that approaches what I think of as a faggot." Lane was crying his eyes out. "You must hate me now, knowing that I'm like you, but I wrote that note." "No, Lane. In fact, I'm so proud of you I could bust," I said. "What?!" he asked, the shock apparent on his face. "You just admitted to us what happened to you. It was a painful event, and I can even understand why you wrote the letter now. I was somebody you trusted, somebody you cared about, but I was like them: the guys that abused you. "But like I told you earlier, Lane, I forgive you for writing the note. I love you more now than before, and, to be honest with you, I am ever so proud to call you my friend!" "You're shitting me, right?" he asked. Travis stood up, the tear marks on his face very evident. "Lane, you've known Jeremy a little longer than I have, but you know as well as I do that he says what he means and means what he says. Maybe this doesn't mean so much to you, because you don't really know me, but, I forgive you too." Lane burst into tears again, and hugged Travis. "Thank you, Travis," he said. Billy, not to be outdone, tear tracks on his face, joined us on the floor for a group hug. "I love you, too, Lane. And I'm proud of you for what you just told us, and I'm even more proud to call you my friend."Travis and I talked over Christmas break, and we decided that I would move into one of the extra bedrooms for the spring semester. With all the whispering and staring I was getting the last couple of weeks of class, we figured that I might not be so safe on campus.
Lane's roommate wasn't as accepting of gay people as Billy, so, the next semester Lane moved in with Billy. It was hard for him once word got out, but he toughed it out. He spent many weekends with Travis and me before we graduated. I would, occasionally, after a late night studying, crash in Billy and Lanes' room. Together, Billy and Lane formed what would become the Gay/Straight Alliance at UNC-Charlotte. Billy stood up with Lane as `best man' when Lane married Stuart, and Lane was Billy's best man when Billy married Sarah.
"I wondered why the three of you guys are so close," Alan said. "Now I know."
"Yeah. I have to admit, I don't know what I would have done without the two of them after Travis died," I said.
"I'm just glad that Lane recognized that I was gay, and introduced us," Alan said.
"Lane told me the night before he and Stuart got married that I had saved his life that night. He saved mine the night of Travis's funeral. But, there's other things I need to tell you about first," I said.
Well, kiddo's, that's it for now. One of my proofreaders told me that was an interesting way to introduce sex into the story. What do you guys think? What do you think of the story so far? Shall I continue? Let me know what you think!" Write to me at BiDadWriter@Yahoo.Com