New Found Trust

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The food was delicious and the company even better. We parted around midnight. I got home and felt fantastic. I took a shower and went to bed. I thought about the day and AndrŽ's image was in my mind and in my dreams. Would it be that I would fall in love again?

I woke up the next morning after a restful sleep. It had been a long time since I had slept so well. I got up in a very good mood and felt energetic. I jumped in the shower and surprised myself singing a totally unknown tune. I brushed my teeth and wrapped my towel around my waist to go to the kitchen and make some coffee. I checked the time on my cell phone as I had left my watch in the bedroom. I saw I had a message although I had not heard the phone beep. It was an unknown number to my contact list and by opening it I could read it came from AndrŽ who thanked me for a very nice evening. He mentioned (with a smiley) that he would love to repeat it. I smiled and thought exactly the same. There is no such time as the present time, so I texted him back asking if he wanted to meet again, like right now. I received an answer almost instantly: "I go for some donuts. Make some coffee. I'll be there in about thirty minutes. AndrŽ".

Exactly twenty-nine minutes later (yes, I kept a close look on my watch) the bell rang. I opened the door and there was AndrŽ with a goofy grin on his face, holding a box of donuts in his hands. I let him in and showed him the way to the kitchen, where I took out a mug and served him coffee. We sat down at the island and our knees were touching. I didn't mind and from what I could feel, AndrŽ didn't mind either. That small contact confirmed we were comfortable in each other's presence.

At first it was a bit awkward, because we didn't know what to say. I had a strong feeling that AndrŽ wanted to kiss me, but I was not the one who would initiate it. I thought it was too early for that anyway. Ok, we had known each other for over a year now, but we had always met at his job, except for yesterday. It was AndrŽ who started to speak.

• I felt really comfortable yesterday, he said, it had been a very long time since I had such a beautiful day. I realized that I spend far too much time at work and forgot to enjoy myself from time to time.

I had the same thoughts. I had been throwing myself in my work as well and forgot to have some quality time for myself. Just the fact that we had talked for hours and sharing things about our lives, had been a welcome break in the daily routine of work and more work. We had discovered we both loved our jobs, fortunately. But right then, we saw that there were more things to enjoy. I became aware that we were once again sharing information. It made me think. "Sharing", such an important word in our vocabulary, but that most people forgot to use. I had stopped sharing things with other people due to the fact of what Philip had done to me. I didn't trust anybody enough to let them in and share things with them. I had completely forgotten how pleasant it was to share the things of our lives with other people. Keeping things to oneself had no sense whatsoever. I mentioned it to AndrŽ.

• You are right Luke (yes, that's me, I forgot to introduce myself), I do agree wholeheartedly with you. Any kind of relationship is based on feelings, respect and trust, but ... communication and sharing keep the relationship going, being it love, friendship or even work. You are a sales manager, so you know these things. My job is totally different, but I use the same tools. The waiters and I are a team and that means we have to work together to make it reality.

Where did that guy got his intelligence from? He seemed so young to have such mature thoughts in his head. There were not a lot of possibilities. Or he had received a fantastic education from his parents or he had lived some very difficult times. I asked him.

• Well, I am twenty-nine now. I know I look younger but I can show you any official document that states it. I had loving parents. They taught me all the important things of life, such as trust and respect, before they died in a car crash four years ago. I still miss them every single moment in my life. The day of the crash they were driving home, coming from the restaurant where I work and where I had received my promotion to ma"tre d the day before. They came to celebrate. Since that day, I have been working my ass off. I want them to be proud of me, wherever they are.

AndrŽ fell silent. I could see the hurt on his face. I stood up and hugged him. He nestled himself in my arms and we stayed like that for various minutes. I tried to silently comfort him as much as I could. AndrŽ had just shared another part of him: his sensibility. I felt fortunate to have him in my life, even if it was so recent. I wondered what he had seen in me. He was not afraid at all to show his emotions and even his vulnerability. I promised myself to do my very best to never shut him out. I would have to learn to trust him and forget about the past. AndrŽ was a good man. In my job I am quite a good judge of characters and I used all my professional skills to discover that in AndrŽ. If he had ever applied for a job in my team, I would have recruited him on the spot.

We disentangled from our hug. I looked at AndrŽ's face and saw a single tear had rolled down his cheek. I wiped it with my thumb. He looked up at me and mouthed a thank you.

• You don't have to talk about it if it upsets you, I said, but you are welcome to do so if it eases the pain somehow.

• Sorry, he answered, I normally don't get that emotional about it.

• Never, and I say NEVER apologize for your emotions AndrŽ. There is nothing to be ashamed about or to feel guilty about. Emotions are the reflection of the soul and tell us the size of your heart. So, don't apologize for it.

He smiled sheepishly and said ok.

• Thank you, he said, I needed that hug. My parents would have liked you very much!

• Did they know about your sexual orientation?

• Oh yes, they did. I didn't have to come out to them. It was my mother that pulled me out of the closet when I was about sixteen. It was not that I struggled about it, but it confused me when I discovered I preferred to look at boys rather than girls. At first I thought it was a puberty thing, a phase I had to go through, but then my Mum took me by the hand and explained to me that I was her baby and that she loved me very much. She said it was ok for her if I preferred boys and that the only thing that really was important to her was to know I was happy. My Dad agreed with her and gave me a big hug. After that we never specifically talked about homosexuality. For them it was the most natural thing.

He was a lucky guy. My coming out had not been as easy, but with time all settled down pretty well. My parents don't talk about it. They just mentioned they respected my choice of living openly as a gay man, but I had to respect their point of view and they'd rather not be confronted with my life style. I was always welcome home, alone! I shared that with AndrŽ.

• I can see their point of view, although I don't agree with them. They are losing a big part of your life by not wanting to even see it. They'll regret it one day, but it will probably be too late.

• I know what you mean AndrŽ, but I won't pressure them. They have their opinion and they taught me as well what respect is. I respect them like they respect me, although we don't agree on the subject. I just hope for them to realize they prevent themselves to live wonderful moments. I can't and I won't blame them for it. They are my parents and they are human beings. That means they can and will make mistakes. I am not the one to judge them and even less condemn them. If they ever come to realize what they are missing, I'll welcome them with open arms. Meanwhile I go on loving them and visiting them, alone, as they expressed their wish.

AndrŽ heard certain sadness in my voice and it was his turn to give me a hug. It felt good. We connected. We were spontaneous with each other and it felt right. I tried to remember if I had ever had such feelings with Philip, and even if he had showed me a lot of love (before I realized what was going on behind my back) I couldn't remember that real connection like I had with AndrŽ. I had refused to kiss him during three months, and here I was with AndrŽ and wanted to kiss him so badly. I knew I was not the one to do the first step in that direction, although I had spontaneously hugged him and squeezed him in my arms. I would never forget that first hug. It was nothing sexual but the feeling of his body against mine had transported me to heights I didn't know existed. No, I hadn't had an erection, but I knew that I wanted to feel him close to me much more times. He fitted in my arms perfectly and I had felt, with our chests pressed together, that his heartbeat was going a little faster. I guessed mine had, too.

As the sunshine came through the French doors that lead to the backyard, I invited AndrŽ to follow me and enjoy those spring sun rays. We sat in my secluded backyard and could see the first flowers showing their colors. The garden needed some work, but I thought there were more important things right now. AndrŽ seemed to be a vivid gardener, as he knew all the threes, bushes, plants and flowers by name. He even suggested transplanting some of them as they were in "bad company", meaning that they would flourish better next to other plants. He asked what kind of tools I had at my disposal and I showed him. Soon enough we were working in the backyard, taking away some winter leafs and pulling out some weed. He knew exactly what he did and I appreciated what he was doing. As the sun was getting higher in the sky and warming up the atmosphere, he pulled off his T-shirt. Oh my ... I had found him attractive in his tuxedo at work. I had found him even more attractive with his jeans and T- shirt. What my eyes saw now was even better. Broad shoulders coming down in V form to his narrow waist, made me want to touch him and let my hands roam over his perfect shape. His chest hair was just the right amount, not too much. His nipples stood erect by the sudden fresh air caressing them. His treasure trail disappeared in the waistband of his 501's. Even though a sudden lust came over me, I kept my distance and just dreamed about what could happen next. This time yes, my nether regions reacted to that beautiful sight. I tried desperately to concentrate on the task at hand, extracting weed and put some fertilizer around the good plants. It was difficult as my eyes were constantly drawn to that man next to me. From time to time AndrŽ looked over at me and always had an enticing smile. He even winked a few times. As we were reaching the end of the garden (we still had the other side to do) I suggested a break and went into the house to prepare some salmon sandwiches and take out a bottle of chilled rosŽ wine out of the fridge. I put it all on a plate and brought it out to the porch. AndrŽ had just finished the first half of the backyard.

He came over to the porch and I could see the sunshine causing like a million lights in the sweat that covered his chest and stomach. I was mesmerized.

• You like what you see? He asked.

I nodded.

• You could return the favor, he said.

First I didn't understand but I quickly came to my senses and took off my T-shirt as well. I saw AndrŽ looking and it was obvious he liked what he saw as well as he passed his tongue several times over his lips.

• Don't drool, I said, we'll come to that ... eventually!

He smiled at me and winked saying he hoped we would. I tried to explain to him that I was not the person who would make the first move or step. It was not in my nature to do so.

• Have you ever thought that maybe I am the same? What would happen then? We would be both in total lust and nothing would happen? Or is it just that you would be able to blame me to seduce you?

He tried to put up a serious face, but his eyes were smiling. I instinctively knew that he would do the first step and that he didn't think I would "blame" him for doing so. As a matter of fact, he came closer to me, leaned forward and brushed his lips on mine. Although I am not the one who makes a first move, as soon as the other does, I respond with all my body and soul. So, after brushing my lips with a feathery touch, I leaned forward and started kissing him forcefully. I took AndrŽ a fraction of a second to open his lips and our tongues got acquainted, meeting for the first time and liking what they found. While we kissed, our bodies came closer to each other and were soon pressed together like sardines in a tin. The skin-to-skin contact was electrifying! All my nerve endings came to life. It was as if every single hair on his chest and stomach were igniting the fire that was in me. I took his face in my hands while he encircled me with his arms. We were locked together. In less than a minute our tongues had danced slow, waltz, tango and rock-and-roll. I just loved the way he kissed. It was tender and passionate, slow and fast, rough and soft. This kiss was overwhelming me and I didn't want it to ever stop. After what seemed like eternity (but was probably only minutes) we parted and looked into each other's eyes. AndrŽ's were moist and I suspected him to be on the verge of crying.

• You have no idea how long it is since I wanted to do that, he said. I wanted to kiss you since the very first day I saw you at the restaurant. My dream has finally come true and it makes me so happy.

I didn't answer with words. I just leaned in and we kissed for another eternity! I was as hard as rock and from what I could feel, as our bodies were pressed together, AndrŽ was as well. I could have stripped him there and then, but decided that it would have to wait. I wanted lovemaking, not just sex. Getting sex is easy but not fulfilling. Making love is, but a lot harder to get. I wanted to give us some more time, learning to know each other a lot more and wait till we were sure we wanted to take it to the next level. But kissing was ok and during that day we very quickly learned how to please the other with dancing tongues.

After the sandwiches and the rosŽ wine, AndrŽ went on working on the other side of the garden while I took out the mower and did the lawn. When everything was finished, AndrŽ asked for the water hose and gave the flowers and plants water. It didn't come as a surprise that he wanted to water me as well and we ended up a fight with the water hose. We were soon soaked wet, but laughing like kids having a good time.

• Is that the only way you found to get me out of my jeans? AndrŽ asked. If you wanted to see me naked, you could have just asked. I would have been happy to show you!

• Yes, I want to see you naked, but not right now. The day we are naked together it will be because we will make love and I think we are still in a far too early stage for that. When we decide to make love, I want it to be special, relaxed and enjoyable. I don't want to have sex with you. I want to make love with you. I know I am falling for you, but we need a little more time. Ok?

• Ok! He said. I do agree it is still too early for it. But don't wait too long because then I will have to rape you. I so want you. I want us to be one. You say you are falling for me, but please know that I have fallen already.

I was flabbergasted. I knew we were on the same path, but I didn't know he was ahead of me. I would have to make a run to catch up with him. I didn't want him to be ahead of me because I could lose him. I didn't want to stay behind because he could lose me. I wanted us to be equals and walk side-by-side. I cared for him, more than I was ready to admit.

I went inside to get some towels and dry underwear and jeans for him and for me. We had the same build and I guessed there was no problem for wearing each other's clothes. I changed in my bedroom and took spare clothes for him. I told him he could change in the kitchen and put his wet clothes in the dryer. The timer was already set.

While he was drying and changing, I took out two fish from the freezer and put them in water to defrost. I washed a few potatoes and wrapped them in aluminum foil and prepared a salad with lettuce, tomatoes and onions. I started the barbecue and put the water hose back on its place. I was standing on the porch looking over the garden when he came out and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. I didn't need protection but felt safe and well all together. I put my hands on his and he sighed. Had I done something wrong? It was as if he could read my mind.

• Don't misunderstand my sigh, he said, it is one that says "at last, safe and well". I feel at peace around you. I am finally able to enjoy my days off and not thinking about work and the restaurant. I had a wonderful day, working in the garden. You know? That's something I just love to do, but in my apartment I have no yard whatsoever. I enjoy being outdoors with you even though we do different things. I enjoy the simple things of life like those delicious sandwiches and that nice chilled rosŽ wine. You don't know it Luke, but you are doing miracles. I haven't felt like this in thousand years!

I turned around and gave him a quick kiss.

• The one who is doing miracles is you, I said. Look at this garden! You worked your magic all over the place. The flowers have even brighter colors since you were busy with them. I love it when you are around. I love it when I look at you and you smile and wink from time to time. I knew I had to do something with the garden, but I didn't look forward to it to have to do it on my own. Just like you AndrŽ, it has been an awful long time since I felt so good.

He took my face in his hands and kissed me once again.

• I will have to mark this day in my agenda! I went on. I should really mark all the days I feel happy and make a balance at the end of the year. The balance of last year was not showing a lot of them, but I suspect this year will be different. I just feel and know it. I told you I have problems trusting people since ... well you know what I mean, but with you it is once again different. Although my mind says to wait and see, my heart tells me to trust you with my life with closed eyes. In the past I have always listened to my mind and seldom to my heart. Most of the results, except for my job, have been real disasters. Today, I will listen to my heart and lets just hope the results will be different.

• I can tell you already now that the results will be different Luke, he answered, and because it is me you are dealing with. I hate cheaters as much as you do. I hate liars as much as you do and therefore I don't do it to others. I am the kind of man to stick to my word, even if I bring myself in trouble for it. Now, I don't promise a lot of things! What I can promise is easy and simple: I won't lie to you, I won't cheat on you and I will do my very best to make you smile at least once a day.

• I don't know if you realize that those are three huge promises! But I can live with them! And in return I can promise you the same. I guess this settles a serious and solid base for us to continue building. But promises or not, it won't allow you in my pants today!

• I think you are wrong, my dear friend, AndrŽ answered, because I am already in your pants as mine are in the dryer!

I laughed heartedly. He was right once more.

The red colored embers of the fire told me it was time to put the potatoes in foil on them. The salad was ready in the fridge. I had to wait till the potatoes were ok before I put the fish on, as fish on barbecue is ready in no time. I opened yet another bottle of chilled rosŽ and we enjoyed it while the sun was going down slowly. There was one more thing I wanted to do before the sun disappeared completely: filling the torches in the garden with liquid paraffin. Once it was done, we lit them and as it grew darker, the torches gave a magic effect on the garden. I also put some candles on the table. Yes, I am hopelessly romantic. I asked AndrŽ to chose a CD from my collection to have some background music. I was so pleased when I heard the first movement of the twenty-first piano concert from Mozart. It was a perfect choice for the moment.

The potatoes were soft and I put the fish on the fire. I looked very closely as I knew it wouldn't take long to be at its perfect point. There is nothing worse than an overcooked fish! Once ready I served it and we sat down to eat after a nice kiss. AndrŽ was over the moon with the meal and said I had to tell their chef at the restaurant how to do it. I doubted very much that their chef needed any advice from me. For AndrŽ it was the first time he ate fish on the barbecue and he just loved it. He ate slowly.

• I want to enjoy every single piece of fish I put in my mouth, he said.

It was a pleasure for me to see him eat. That's the point when I am cooking: seeing people enjoying what I did, how simple or complicated things were. Even the salad was something he said was wonderful. From there on I knew I would pass much time in the kitchen. I read somewhere that feeding people is a sign of love, as you feed them to be sure they stay alive. With AndrŽ it was even more because he was so grateful for the efforts I did to make him happy. He didn't have the guts to lick his plate, but I saw in his eyes that he wanted to.

We cleared the table and put the plates in the dishwasher. After that, we sat back on the porch and AndrŽ selected another CD. Madame Butterfly let her high-pitched voice overwhelm us. We were silent for a moment, enjoying her marvelous singing. When she finished, I had some tears in my eyes, like usual. AndrŽ's eyes were moist as well and I discovered yet one more common point between the two of us. We emptied the bottle of rosŽ and kept talking about music and what we liked and loved.

It was getting late. I thought it would not be a good idea for AndrŽ to drive his car. He was not drunk, but if stopped by the police he would have some explanation to give. He could take a cab, but it was a bit expensive seen that he didn't live nearby. He asked if I had a guest room and I teased him saying no. Actually I have, but I didn't want him to sleep somewhere else than in my bed. He said he could sleep in the sofa, but I pretended he would wake up in the morning, completely broken, as it was not really comfortable.

• Well, I can sleep here on the porch. The chairs are quite comfortable!

• Yes, you could, I answered, but the nights are still quite frisky and you would freeze to death.

He was desperately looking for a solution to his problem, or that was what he pretended. I helped him out.

• There is one more solution, but I don't know if you will be able to stick to the house rules...

• And that is???

• You can sleep in my bed, but ... each one has to stick to his side. In my bed nobody wears clothes whatsoever. And last but not least, nothing sexual will happen.

• I can agree on the second and the last condition, but the first one will be difficult! AndrŽ said.

• What do you mean?

• I can sleep with no clothes on and I can respect the fact you don't want anything sexual. But each staying on his side of the bed is something I can't promise. I will want to hold you in your sleep. I want to feel you and spoon you. I want to be sure you won't run off in the middle of the night!

We laughed at that.

• You see, he said, I promised you at least one smile a day. You did better than that as you heartedly laughed.

I had to agree and when I said it was ok to spoon me while sleeping, he had a bright smile on his face as well. I had kept my promise as well. We blew the candles out and put out the torches. I closed the French doors of the kitchen and took AndrŽ's hand to lead him to the bedroom. We undressed and I tried not to look at his naked body, but it was almost impossible. He was so sexy and gorgeous. I didn't know how he managed to undress without sporting a hard-on. My cock was not hard yet, but wasn't flaccid either. We got between the sheets and as I was lying down on my back, AndrŽ found his best position with his head resting on my chest. I automatically put my arms around his shoulder and hold him tight. We kissed before I switched off the lights. I didn't know if I would be able to keep my promise of not having anything sexual happening. I was going to try very hard, but I knew myself.

AndrŽ helped me a lot by falling asleep almost instantly. His breath was very even and soon enough I heard a very light snoring. It felt good and right. Before I even realized it, I was soon joining him in dreamland.

To be continues if you guys tell me you like the story. All comments welcome at amahy1957@gmail.com