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Jack
I came out of a trance. I was sitting at my kitchen island and thought that everything that had happened was a kind of dream. It was only when I saw the second cup of coffee on the counter that I realized it was reality. Had I done it again? I guessed I had. I went to the bed and the bathroom, but Jason wasn't there. How stupid had I been this time? I looked at the bed where the traces of serious activity were still visible. Yes, Jason had made love to me and I had loved it. Why did I have these stupid reactions? Why couldn't I just enjoy what was happening and not put a million question between me and my happiness? I tried to remember all that Jason had told me, but it seemed my memory had blocked it completely. I knew he had told me a few truths but couldn't put them in words. The only thing I remembered very clearly is that he told me he loved me. Why was it that he left? My first reaction was that it was always the same with younger guys. When they don't get what they want they leave. But then it hit me like a brick wall. He asked me some questions and I remained silent. I repeated myself something I knew for a long time : you don't solve things with silence but with talking. I had failed once more. The only thing I said was that I was scared of the age difference. The problem was that Jason had reacted in a more mature way than me with my twenty years more. I didn't have to ask myself why he had left, because it was obvious. My childish silence had made him leave and my stupid pride had not allowed me to keep him close to me. He loved me he said and I had to admit that the feelings I had towards him were very strong. Did I love him? Probably, but I couldn't remember what love really was. I was over forty and still wondered what love was. That was not really mature of me. I was standing there, still looking at he bed and realized I missed Jason like hell. How long was it since he left? I didn't know. Five minutes? One hour? I had no idea. But the main question in my heart, purely emotional, was if I could get him back. Yes, I wanted him in my life. Would I be able to delete that fear of age difference? I had to as Jason had shown me he was more mature than I was. How could I be afraid of an age difference when I was acting like a child? It was time for me to look reality in the eyes. But was I still on time? Or did I jeopardized it completely already? I took my phone and dialed Jason's number. His phone was disconnected. Was he giving me some of my own medicine ... silence? No, he was too intelligent for that. Jason was not the rancorous type. It must have been that his phone was without battery... or that he was somewhere without any phone connection. What could I do? Sending a text message was not a baad idea. I didn't know how to write a message that was believable and true. I was the older one and couldn't express myself to a twenty years younger one. How pathetic was that?
I understood the ball was in my court. It was up to me to react and trying to repair the biggest mistake I made : keeping silent when I had to talk. Just writing Sorry would not be enough. I felt lost. It was not the first time in my life that I felt like that. I had learned in the past that the best thing to do in these cases, was to stand in front of the mirror and look at myself, trying to be as honest as possible. It had helped before and I trusted the mirror to help me once again. I switched on the lights in the bathroom and planted me feet firmly in front of the mirror. I looked at myself. No, I was not proud of what I saw. I suddenly looked a lot older than my age, but it was a pure physical thing. I should trim my beard, wash my hair and probably visit my hairdresser. My eyes were ... extinguished. I had always been so proud of my eyes. Standing there I couldn't see that sparkle that I could normally see. Looking at myself, I started to think about Jason. It was unbelievable the difference my mirror image gave me. I looked actually happy when thinking about him. I observed myself quite some time more and realized that, indeed, I was in love with Jason. Ti became clear that the twenty years difference had disappeared like magic. Yes, I had to do whatever I could to get to Jason and get him back in my life. If I had to get on my knees and beg him, I would do it. But above all, I had to promise him and myself to never keep silent again. Silence can be good at certain selective times, not when there is a problem. I went back to my living room and switched on my computer. Looking at Jason's business card I didn't have his private address. I just hoped I would find it by Internet. It took me some time before I found what I thought was his private address. Could I just go over to his place and ring the doorbell? It was a risk I accepted to take. A good shower brought back my energy. I dressed and went out, following the directions I received from Google Maps. In less than fifteen minutes I was standing in front of Jason's door, with a nice bouquet of flowers in my hand. I rang the bell...
There was no answer. I thought of leaving the bouquet on his doorstep, but quickly changed my mind. I would wait till he got home. Indeed, it could take hours. I tried to send him a Whatsapp but the double V next to the message didn't turn blue, meaning he had not read the message, but that his phone was on. Should I call him? I didn't want to engage a conversation over the phone and certainly not after my behavior of a few hours earlier. I wanted to look him straight in the eyes when apologizing. Jeez, what a roller-coaster of emotion in the last twenty-four hours we had. Kissing, making love, sleeping together and then me spoiling everything. I had to make it right. I sent him a second message saying: "I am in front of your door". After a few seconds the double V turned blue. He had read the message! It took only a few seconds to receive an answer.
"Strange place to be as I am standing in front of yours. Wait for me. I'll be there in five."
In five? How would he do that? Nonetheless I trusted his words and was convinced he would indeed take only five minutes to be there. He did. I felt a bit uneasy with the flowers in my hands. I suddenly thought it was not the best idea. I looked at my angel and I could see he had been crying although he tried to hide it behind a shy smile. I stretched my arm to give him the flowers. He didn't take them. Instead he came closer and pressed his body to mine, wrapping his arms around my waist and hiding his head on my shoulder. I couldn't do anything other than close my arms around him as well and squeezed him in them. We stayed like that for what seemed to be hours, although it were only minutes. Feeling him against me was the most marvelous sensation. I couldn't be happier that he still wanted to be with me. I also knew we would have a conversation that I would maybe not like that much as I would have to admit I was wrong. If it was that what it took to have Jason close to me, I would do it in total honesty. After that longest embrace, Jason looked me in the eyes and asked me if I was ready to talk this time. I nodded and said : "Yes, that's why I am here for". At last I received a genuine smile from Jason and he quickly opened his door to let us in. His apartment was tidy and clean, but, in my opinion, did not reflect his personality. It looked like a furnished rent apartment, nothing else. I didn't say anything about it. Jason sensed it however and confirmed it was the only thing he could afford as hist last cent was in his store.
-What would you think about going to your place and put the flowers in a vase there? I do admit I don't like my place very much. We can talk while walking over.
I thought it was a good idea. I could understand why Jason didn't like his place so much as it had no personality and, apart from his clothes, nothing was of him. I wouldn't say we left in a hurry but we were walking in the sunshine in no time at all. It was a leisurely walk and we talked easily this time. Jason was full of questions and I answered him truly, sincerely and honestly. I had taken the risk of losing him once and was not ready for a repeat action. Communicating was so important and I had vowed in front of my mirror to open up to Jason, without restrictions nor limits. He has shown me he was not like most the guys his age. I had no reasons to be afraid as I had been before and I told him so.
-Jason ... I feel so stupid for my earlier reaction towards you. Past experiences have left me brokenhearted and devastated. I am sure you can understand that. We don't know each other that well yet and my ancient demons came back full force. It is not your fault and it was not fair of me to make you pay for what I went through. I am sincerely sorry. In the few hours that you were gone I made some firm resolutions and one of them is to talk over whatever it is instead of keeping silent. I just want to ask you to remind me of that promise if you see I am shutting down again. Old habits don't disappear so easily.
Jason nodded in approval.
-The second thing I wanted to tell you is that I remember clearly you said you loved me. At first I thought that was not possible in such a short period of time. Once you were gone I did a reality test by standing in front of my mirror. It hit me like a brick-wall that I was falling for you big time. I started to wonder why and didn't find any answer. That was when I realized that feelings can't be controlled. They just overwhelm and that's it. For the first time in my life I had to admit that love at first sight really exist. That love at first sight was the day I bought my computer in your shop. I didn't know it then, but I know it now. I was foolish enough to let the prejudice of age come in between of us. Be assured it will not happen again.
-I am glad to hear that Jack, because love doesn't know anything about age and not even about experiences. Someone once said to me that you can't punish a new love for the errors of an old one. At the time I didn't understand fully what they meant, but I do understand today. You call it your demons where they are only experiences. Whatever they are, if they come back, please, talk to me immediately. Don't wait, hoping it will go away by itself. Shared problems are half problems whereas shared happiness is double happiness.
-Jason? Where did you get your maturity from? You surprise me each time. It is also because of you wisdom that I feel more at ease with you.
Jason laughed.
-Maturity? Wisdom? I think you overestimate me Jack. It is a fact I use something most people forgot about : common sense. It is so easy. My parents showed how it works and I try to do it all the time. I can tell you it works. No nonsense! Use a logical mind and thinking constantly that I shouldn't do something that I wouldn't like to be done to me. So you see there is no big secret. If that is what you call maturity and wisdom, I will have to accept it, but I think it is a lot more simple than that.
I let it all sink in. I found it incredible that Jason could captivate my heart with each sentence that came out of his mouth. This guy, although twenty years my junior, could be my master in seeing the things that were just in front of my eyes and for which I was totally blind up till now. Being totally honest with myself, I saw the mistake I made with my prejudice of age as well as punishing a new love for the mistakes of an old one. I suddenly realized I was really fortunate meeting Jason. I knew I could be taught a lot of things by this youngster. At the same time I had my insecurities and lack of confidence in myself. Jason said he loved me, but couldn't it be that he would meet someone that would provoke the same feeling and make him leave me? My self-esteem was always a bit low. I mentioned it to Jason who stopped walking, took my arm and obliged me to look at him.
-There you go again Jack. I can't find a switch to turn to "on" and make you believe me from one second to the other that I really love you, can I? You are the man I want to spend my life with because you have the qualities I look for in a man. If you don't want or can't see that, then we have a serious problem Jack. It is true that we don't know each other a lot and it takes time to know the other person. The only thing that I can tell you is that whatever you do, I won't run away from you. I can get angry and slam the door on you and go for a walk during several hours, but I would always come back to you. I don't expect us to agree on everything, but I know I will always respect your point of view and I expect the same from you. It is not in my nature to run away when I have a problem. It is possible I need some time to think about it and then talk it over with you. I try to avoid talking when I am angry because I could say I don't really think. I think you have to work seriously on your self-esteem and learn to trust me as I trust you. There is not one hair on my head that thinks that you would love someone else while you love me. I am more than confident enough that I can make you happy and do the necessary for you to stay with me and on top of that I trust you as well as myself. It is good that you express your doubts and insecurities, as long as there are reasons for them and I would encourage you to go on doing so. At least I will understand better who you are. At the same time it will allow me to express my point of view on the same subject.
-I am sorry...
-Don't! I am happy that you expressed your insecurity. It allows us to have this conversation and to try to clear things. I just want you to understand that I am not one of your previous boyfriends who probably hurt you more than you think yourself. I am Jason and I am unique, don't forget it. When I sang "Perfect" yesterday at the Karaoke bar, I meant every single word of that song. You are perfect for me and God knows I will do everything that is in my power to erase your insecurities one by one. I just know we were meant to be together. Don't ask me how I know it because I just do. I have strong intuitions and they never failed me. If it depends on me, we are together till death do us part. But you have to want it as much as I do. I already told you it is a question of trust. I know it takes time to build that trust and I will do whatever I can to show you that it can exist, that it can be there. Believe me Jack.
I couldn't do anything else than to take this wonderful boy in my arms and squeeze him till he couldn't breathe. Yes, I was going to have to learn a lot and I found my master. I also realized that I would learn a few things faster than others. The hardest part would be to increase my self-esteem, directly followed by trusting Jason blindly. I believed every single word he was telling me and even saw he had a definite point. How do you change things anchored in you for your whole life? It was almost unbelievable that Jason had it all sorted out at his young age.
When we reached my place, Jason was all over me as soon as the door was closed. Jeez, he could put a lot of passion in his actions and I was certainly not complaining. It felt so good to have that young man in my arms and showing me without the slightest doubt that he, indeed, loved me. There was no way anybody could fake these feelings. For the first time in my life I really felt loved and my heart was bursting with joy. I could indeed get used to have Jason with me all the time and receiving his love, just hoping I would be able to show mine as well. Jason broke our passionate kiss just a split second.
-I want you to make love to me.
I wouldn't be the one to refuse such a sweet request. I lifted him from the floor and carried him to the bedroom. We undressed each other, slowly, kissing each little part of skin that saw the daylight. Our hands were as feverish as they were last night when we came back from the bar. I couldn't help smiling when it came to our jeans. Modern jeans are a lot more adjusted and don't just fall down to the ankles. They were a bit more difficult to remove. As soon as Jason was laying down naked on the bed, I stood there for a moment without moving, just appreciating the marvelous view of his prefect sculpted body. I was in awe. He was so beautiful and once again I wondered what I had done to deserve him. He was probably reading my mind once more but didn't say a word... he just caressed himself in a seductive way that had my hormones raging in no time. I removed my jeans and underwear and laid next to him. He wrapped himself in my arms and we resumed our kissing. I didn't know what it was, but his kisses were ... electrifying, sending pleasure waves to my whole body, keeping all nerve endings on alert. They woke up all my senses and I couldn't get enough of them. Apparently those feelings were totally mutual as Jason didn't stop to kiss me. We could go on for hours like that. However, my attention was drawn to other parts of his body as well and I really wanted to feel him around my manhood. It was not that I was in a hurry. We had all the time we wanted and I put it at good use to kiss every square inch of skin on my way down, licking him and drinking the sweat that was pouring out.
I couldn't believe my own luck when I reached his nether regions to find his hard-rock cock pointing at my chin. It oozed pre-cum like a faucet and I couldn't be happier. I just wrapped my lips around the head to be sure not to miss a drop. Then opened wide and engulfed his manhood completely although my gag reflex kicked in. I relaxed to the fullest and his cock entered my throat slowly while I softly squeezed his balls and pulled on them to increase his hardness. Jason was writhing under me and I could hear his ragged breathing. In the corner of my eye I could see him clench his fists as if it allowed him to find some support in the sheets. His cock in my mouth became even harder and I was afraid he would ejaculate too early as I was absolutely not finished with him. So, I let go of his genitals and traveled further down till I reached his feet. I couldn't help it : I needed his toes in my mouth and knowing that my tongue would go between them, he would squirm and feel all the sensations I wanted to transmit him. He must have liked it as his toes were curling so much that I almost couldn't get my tongue between them. All I could think was that he was ready for me and so I travelled upwards again, licking his inner thighs and the effect was immediate. Jason opened his legs wider. Getting closer and pushing his legs even further open, I could see his scrotum had shrunk that much that I had an open view to his slightly opened ass-cheeks. I was hungry for eating out his ass and munch on his rose-bud. I couldn't wait any longer and dived in with force. I could sense Jason was surprised with my attack, but he didn't complain. On the contrary! He grabbed his own legs and lifted them as mush as he could and there I could see his pink puckered hole winking at me. I had my mouth on it in a French kiss and did all that I could to push my tongue inside of him. Jason relaxed, allowing me to enter him with tongue and fingers. First one, then a second one and at the end I had three fingers completely in him, looking desperately for his prostate and once I found it, playing with it. It drove Jason wild and crazy. It didn't take long before he begged me to enter him and make love to him. That was my purpose of course. His hole was wet with my spit and I put some more of it on my cock, positioning myself so as to be able to put my cock-head right on target. I forced his legs to stay quiet and put some more forward pressure, finding an initial resistance. A short and strong thrust forward made my cock pass his sphincter-muscle that opened just enough to allow me to enter. I had to concentrate on staying still so he could adapt to the invasion. Jason didn't want to know about it and pushed his hips in my direction and my cock entered him up to the hilt. My trimmed pubes soon tickled his asscheeks and I was totally overwhelmed by the sensation. My heartbeat came to unbelievable speed and my head was spinning like never before. I was afraid my cock would burn as Jason's insides were as hot as hell. He pulled me down wrapping his arms around my neck and our lips met once more. My hips had a mind of their own and started long slow strokes in and out. Bit by bit I increased my speed and the faster and harder I went, the more passionate Jason was kissing me. At that rhythm I knew I wouldn't last long. What I didn't expect was to feel the spasm in Jason 's ass, telling me he had reached orgasm and was ejaculating his semen between us. That felt so wonderful and sent me over the edge, feeling my dick getting even harder and my fluids boiling up before spurting out inside Jason's bowels. I deposited my semen inside him while trying to breathe and pushing my cock as deep as I could. I could hear my own heartbeat in my ears and when the last spurt was out, I collapsed on Jason. He hold me tight in his arms and wrapped his legs around my lower back, indicating he didn't want me to leave.
If that was an indication as to what our sex-life was going to be, I wouldn't change it for the world. My God, it was wonderful, being it Jason inside of me or me inside of him. It was really a perfect fit. I didn't even think about exchanging this angel for another, no, I had Jason and I would keep him as long as he wanted me. There was no doubt about that. The same fact came back each time ... the penetrating cock would deflate and slip out the other's ass, leaving that incredible feeling of emptiness after the love-making. Jason squeezed his legs but to no avail. At one point my manhood slipped out of him and I could hear a clear sigh of disappointment.
Jason
It is unbelievable how making love can be so exhausting, a healthy form of exhaustion. Jack was a wonderful lover and I just adored the way we were making love as he could express, without words, how much he loved me. There was no other way to say this. I knew I had made the right choice to declare my love to him and learning to know him was a marvelous journey. Yes, he had some issues due to past experiences. Yes, it would be difficult at times to erase the demons from his mind. I felt enough love for him and felt sufficiently strong to make these fears go away. I still didn't know what happened in previous relationships and was confident that one day he would tell me if he felt the need to do so. One thing was clear to me and that was that in the past someone had hurt him, badly.
For the moment I was happy and didn't want to go investigate in Jack's past. I just wanted to enjoy the moment and being in his arms gave me all the satisfaction I could think of. Indeed, my mind wandered to the past, trying to find a moment in my life where I felt so good, but I didn't find any. I had had sex before. None of those memories was half the quality I just experienced. I realized that sex was sex and making love was something totally different. The inner feelings were coming out at that moment and increased the wonderful sensations that made all the difference.
Jack slipped off of my body and I naturally took my position with my head on his shoulder and our legs intertwined. Just taking that position was a reward in itself. No, not a reward but better said an award. I felt like I had just received the Oscar of best love making. Fortunately I didn't have to do a thank you speech. I wouldn't have been able to as I was still far too emotional to get one word out of my mouth. I had hoped it would be something like that with Jack, but this was far beyond my wildest expectations. I went to the proverbial cloud nine and refused to come down from it. If this was just a dream, I refused to wake up. Like anybody, I had heard stories of true love. I had seen it in movies and read it in books. I never expected that I would actually live it. I heard a soft snoring coming from Jack. I carefully lifted my head to look at his face. If I had to find one word to define it, I would say serenity. He looked so relaxed. I could study his features and I was amazed at the beauty of his face. Even if he was twenty years my senior, there was not one wrinkle on his face except the little ones next to his eyes that told me he must have laughed a lot. He had the most incredible long eyelashes that were perfectly formed. His nose was worth the one David of Michelangelo sculpted. His lips were a bit red and puffy from all our kissing but accentuated the perfect form of his mouth. His chin and jaws were the square ones that make the envy of ninety percent of the people. His five o'clock shadow was showing his masculinity and I wondered if he would accept to let it grow during a day or two. I couldn't help to ask myself over and over what I had done to deserve such a beautiful and gorgeous man. He must have felt my gaze on him as he opened his eyes to look straight into mine. A smile came on his face and he was even more gorgeous if that was possible. He pulled me in to him and kissed me feathery soft on the lips. If my lips were busy kissing him my heat and my eyes were smiling enough to have daylight in the middle of the night.
-What time do you have to get up my angel?
-I open my shop at nine, meaning I will have to get up at seven as I have no clean clothes to wear, meaning I have to go to my place before going to the shop.
-I guess I can give you some of mine as I think we probably wear the same sizes. That would give us time to have a proper breakfast to start our day and ... to have you a while longer with me. What time do you finish working?
-If everything goes normal, I close the shop around7 pm.
-Would you like to come over here after work, have dinner with me and stay the night again?
-I'd love to, but I would definitely have to go to my place before coming here. I can not wear your clothes all the time. As I didn't do any household chores today, I would also have to collect clothes and go to the laundry.
-Why don't you give me the key to your place and I go to collect your clothes and wash them here. I have the best washing machine you can find. I don't have any plans for tomorrow except sending some resumes according to what I find as available jobs on the Internet. I will have more than enough time to help you out with your laundry and then prepare us a nice home-cooked dinner. Sounds OK for you?
I was overwhelmed that Jack would do that for me. I had always been quite independent and always took care of my things by myself. It felt a bit strange to leave it up to someone else to do my laundry, even if it was just to put it in the washer and take it out when the machine had finished. I was overwhelmed because it never happened before that someone even suggested to do it (except my Mom). Thinking it all over well, I couldn't agree more with Jack that every minute of free time we had, we wanted it to spend it together. Not having to go to my place before opening the shop and after closing it, was a God-send opportunity. I didn't know why but I had the suspicion it was the first but not the last time this would happen. I looked him in the eyes and I guess I nodded.
-That is settled than.
He set the alarm on his iPhone and laid back down with a real contented smile on his face. I couldn't help laughing. Jack the guy with so much insecurities, suddenly changed into a take-charge guy. I didn't expect that! He didn't ask me what I was laughing at. He was just happy to hear me laugh and so knew there was nothing wrong. This time he spooned me, with an arm over my chest and his neither placid nor hard dick at my asscheeks. It was nice to lay there in his arms and I felt safe and protected. We soon drifted to dreamland.
The most horrible sound of the alarm sounded through the bedroom. Jack explained it was the only way to get out of bed in the morning as he had to get on his feet to reach his phone and switch the alarm off. That sound was enough to wake-up a dead person. Jack went immediately to the bathroom to empty his bladder and then go to the kitchen to make some coffee. I followed and also brushed my teeth and took a shower. When I came out of the bathroom, Jack had prepared some underwear, jeans and a nice button-down shirt for me, as well as a pair of socks. I dressed quickly before I was tempted togo over to him and kiss and fondle his naked body. Jack knew I didn't have that much time and covered up with the jeans he was wearing the day before as not to tease me. He went back to the kitchen to prepare a basic breakfast. It was delicious, not for what he served, but because we ate it together. It wasn't long before I gave him the key to my place and he gave me a spare key to his place.
-So you can enter at any time you want, even if I am not here.
I was out of the door in no time and on my way to my store. Before I even reached the store, I was already missing him and let him know with a message saying exactly what I felt. I opened the store and had no time to think about the week-end, nor the way Jack made me feel as there were already people coming in. Two iPhones and a MacBook later I finally found some time to look at my messages, just to find a few from Jack.
"I met your rude landlord. Gave me a letter for you."
"Your clothes are already in the washer."
"Jeez, I miss you."
"Clothes went from washer to dryer."
"Everything is neatly in the wardrobe."
"Did I already tell you that I love you?"
Jack had certainly been a busy bee that morning. I remember there were quite some clothes in the basket I keep for that purpose. I was also wondering what that letter was the landlord gave to jack. There was no reason for the landlord to empty my letterbox. I didn't even know he had kept a key to it. Jack didn't have to tell me he was rude, I knew it. Never liked him anyway, but at the time I needed a place to sleep. That was the only reason I rented that little apartment.
Before the next client entered the store, I hurried to send him a message back.
"Miss you like crazy and love you even more. See you when shop is closed. XXX"
At midday I had just the time to have a quick sandwich and a Cola Zero and even couldn't finish it completely when the next client entered the store. I was busy all day and thought the business was going well. If it went on like that I would soon have to hire some help. I actually saw one client leave before I could even help him. I didn't like it. I wanted my store to have a good name and not a reputation that clients would not be helped. I had to watch out! My biggest problem was that I wanted to give each client the necessary attention and some of them really took quite some time to be satisfied. Yes, what I sold was a little more expensive, but I also knew that what I sold was worth any cent of it. Just by the fact it was a little more expensive than similar products on the market, I was convinced each client deserved the necessary time.
Fortunately, I could close the shop in time and go through my routine of the end of the day. At seven sharp I turned the key in the lock and walked towards Jack's place. While walking I checked my phone and found another bunch of messages of Jack, telling me what he was doing during the day and repeating over and over that he was missing me and loving me. Unconsciously I stepped a little faster to be as soon as possible in my lover's arms and kiss him. I used the key Jack had given me the same morning to let myself in. Jack was grabbing me even before I had closed the door. He kissed me as if he had not seen me during weeks. I felt very welcome. As jack was only dressed with jeans, I felt over dressed and went to the bedroom to remove any excess of clothes, keeping just Jack's sexy white briefs on. They felt nice on my butt and just because they were Jack's, I didn't want to remove them. I was slightly surprised to not see any of my clothes that Jack said he had washed and dried. I looked in the wardrobe and yes, there they were. I noticed that it was not only the washed clothes that were there. Looking closer I saw that ALL my clothes were neatly hanging in the wardrobe. So, I investigated a little more and a in one of Jack's drawers I found all my underwear, socks and accessories. I was a bit puzzled. What were ALL my things doing here? We had talked about it and Jack said he would take my dirty laundry to wash it... not all of my clothes. That was a hidden and subtle way to tell me he wanted me to move-in with him? I guessed it was, but we had not even talked about it and we had shared our first kiss only 48 hours ago! I pulled my jeans back on as I knew we were in for a serious conversation and didn't want neither Jack or me to be disturbed by the lack of clothes.
Jack was busy in the kitchen and it smelled deliciously. Even the smell of good food couldn't take away a certain anger I felt welling up. He had no right to take a decision like that without consulting me. If he had asked me I was sure I would have said yes, but he did it without asking.
-What are ALL my clothes doing here in your wardrobe?
Jack immediately stopped what he was doing and even put off the stove so the food would not burn. He saw on my face and heard in my voice that I was not really happy about it. He tried to pull me in his arms but I took a step backwards and he noticed. I saw like a look of defeat on his face, a clear disappointment.
-I said I would wash your clothes, didn't I?
-Yes, but you even brought here my clean clothes, ALL of them. Don't you think it is something we should have talked about before you doing it?
-Aren't you sure about our mutual feelings?
-Yes, I am, but that has nothing to do with it. First of all, I expect some respect from my partner and what you did is not really showing a lot of respect if you do things behind my back.
I felt the anger build up. He was mixing two different things and even thought he would get away with it. I was not ready to accept that so easily. My feelings for him were true and didn't leave anything to the doubt. He made me happy and made me feel safe and secure. All that was not enough for him to make a decision for me! Our relationship had started only 48 hours ago for God's sake. What we knew of each other was certainly great, but we needed to know each other a lot more before we went over to such a serious commitment. Our feelings were strong, but I needed more than that : I needed respect and trust.Respect should be instantly and trust, as we all know, is something that takes more time. I told him all this, making clear what was on my mind and the fact I hated to be pushed in a situation that I had not decided and not even had my saying about the subject. Jack lifted his hands in sign of surrender.
-Ok... ok... Before you get completely angry and out of control, read the letter your landlord gave me. Yes, I know what's written in the letter as your landlord, apart from being extremely rude, is not the most discreet person around. He told me what is in it.
Jack handed me the envelope and I teared it open, unfolded the paper and read. My God! I had exactly six days to empty the apartment as the complete building was going to be made equal with the ground. Apparently there was a new project and the landlord had signed the sale of the building, assuring that the tenants would be out at a precise date... six days later. My eyes were as big as saucers when I lifted my head from the paper and looking at Jack.
-Now you read this letter, I indeed took the liberty to try to help you out with vacating your apartment. All your clothes are already here. You will have to go back and take out whatever is yours because of course, I didn't know what was yours and what was not. The landlord told me he would be around every day and would give you back your deposit as soon as you turn in the keys of the apartment. If by next Monday you have not given back the keys you loose your deposit. I didn't want to oblige you to come and live here. I am well aware we started whatever we have only 48 hours ago. I am not completely stupid and I know that finding another place in less than five days is impossible. So, I invite you to stay here as long as you want and if you think it is far too early for us to live together, you can find another place and I will even help you move out of here. If my decision to help you was irrational, I am sorry. That will teach me not to help people who don't want any help. Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes.
And he turned back to his cooking without saying another word. My anger had left me, but it seemed it just went over to Jack. He was clearly pissed and I had to admit that I had been judgmental without knowing all the facts. Jack had done something a lot of friends would not do. He offered me the solution to an immediate problem without asking anything in return. I got closer to him and pressed my body against his back and my arms around his waist and whispered a soft sorry in his ear, kissing his neck and squeezing him in my arms. He turned around and looked me in the eye.
-I guess we just learned an important lesson : we are both a bit temperamental and get on our high horses quite easily, but ... we come down from them at the same speed.
-You've send me so much messages today. Why didn't you send me that information? Why didn't you ask me for my opinion?
-I looked at the speed with which you answered the messages and deduced that you were quite busy. I didn't think you needed the burden of that problem while serving your clients. I took the decision to make things easier for you and if tomorrow I have to make that decision again without consulting you, I would do it without hesitation. Do you really think I would leave you on the street or oblige you to sleep in your store? Even though we don't know each other yet, you can easily imagine I wouldn't let you. The only thing you have to do is make a list of the things that are yours in that apartment and let me bring them over tomorrow, give back the key to the landlord and have your deposit back. Once that is done, you will have one problem less and you will have time to think about the fact if you still want a place of your own or if you would agree for us to try to make it together as a couple. You would be living here, but you wouldn't be a prisoner here. You are free to leave whenever you want.
I sensed that Jack's demons were coming to the surface with his last sentence. He was once more convinced I would leave him any time soon.
-Why do you say that I can leave whenever I want? Don't you want me with you?
-Oh my ... Jason, you know perfectly well I want you with me. It is only that it happened before and I don't want it to happen again. I let all of my feelings out and say it out loud that I love you, but I sense you are not ready for commitment and don't want to give "us" a chance. I admit it, I don't want to be left heartbroken again.
-Don't you remember what I told you during the week-end Jack? It is not that I want to leave you, ever. It is just that I was feeling... I don't know how to put it ... forced into something we had not even talked about. I really do appreciate what you have done so far, helping me out with the problem of becoming homeless. I was a little angry without having all the necessary information. I jumped to a conclusion that was not right and I hope you accept my apologies for it. If all my clothes are already here, there is not a lot left in that place that is really mine. If you want, after we've eaten, we can go over there tonight and pack the few remaining things. And, still if you don't mind, you can go tomorrow to give the keys to the landlord so he gives you back my deposit. Would all that suit you?
Jack turned around and kissed me. We were good again.Don't ask me what we ate because I didn't have a clue. It looked like a chicken plate with a lot of herbs. It was delicious and that's how I discovered Jack was a really good cook. What I do remember is that I ate far too much. Moving my things, although there were not a lot, would be difficult with such a full stomach. We managed though. In less than an hour my old place was empty of things belonging to me. Although it was quite late when we went out, we met the landlord in the stairs. I gave him the keys and he immediately went into his pocket and got an envelope with my name on it. As I opened it, there was my deposit and even a little extra for having evacuated so quickly and without suing him for not respecting the terms of contract that I would have received three months to empty the place. The few boxes went to the second bedroom at Jack's place as it was far too late to start unpacking. We showered together and hit the sheets. We were so exhausted that we just kissed goodnight and spooned.
That same horrible sound of the alarm woke us up and even if it was only the second day that we woke up together, we entered an easy routine and I was out of the door before even realizing it. It as going to be another day in paradise as people say, only that it was no paradise at all. I didn't have a single minute for my own and didn't even have time to have a lunch break. Of course, the cash register was doing really fine and I would soon have to place an order to refill the stock I had. If the people were going to come in at that rate, I didn't see how I would manage. I would have to hire someone really fast. I mentioned it to Jack that same night during dinner.
-I can come and help you if you want. It would only be temporary as you know I am looking for a steady job, but meanwhile... Even if it is just to greet the people and trying to make them wait for your professional advise. I can be there for the people who just want some minor accessories or for the ones who are already decided on what they want or need.
I had not thought about that. It would give me time to find a permanent employee with the necessary knowledge to advise people the way I wanted it. It would give me time to train someone properly. I didn't know if Jack would be good at it, but I surely appreciated his offer of help, so he ate with me to the store the very next morning. It was good to walk through the still empty streets and we even hold hands on the way. Idas a little worried how it would be to be with Jack 24/7, but don't we all love it, certainly when the relationship is still at its early beginnings? I just had time to show him how the computerized cash register worked when the first client came in. I was rapidly in my sales mode and explaining the different pro's and contras of different models to the client. Soon more clients entered the store and I was so grateful Jack was there to greet them when I was busy. He had the same positive attitude towards them as I had and took his time to explain the things he knew. If there was something he didn't know, he had a subtle way to ask me if it was not too complicated and then go on with the customer. On that first day, he sold an iMac and several accessories. I couldn't be happier.
There was suddenly a pending conversation that needed to be held: finances. I owed jack a lot more of what he thought. First we had to talk about the arrangements of rent and secondly a kind of salary for his work in the store. On top of that, as we were now living together, there were costs of food, cleaning products, electricity and water and so on. First jack said he didn't want any money from me. Of course, I could not accept that. I had always been of the opinion that a healthy financial situation was really important in a relationship. I didn't think we had to write down everything till the last cent, but there had to be some kind of balance. The first serious subject was the rent of course.
-Listen Jason, this place is my property and is completely paid for. I don't see why you would pay rent if I don't even have to pay a mortgage. It wouldn't be fair. That you want to pay half the maintenance costs, I would agree as that is something we both use and enjoy the commodity of them. As for the grocery costs, we split them half as well. Could you live with that?
It made me think of the wise words of my Granny. She always said that you couldn't refuse to receive a gift as it could hurt the feelings of the person giving it to you. Give the people the opportunity to have the pleasure of giving you a present, she always said. I had talked about that with her for hours as at the start I didn't understand it all and didn't see her point of view. As she was quite stubborn, she explained it to me over and over again till it entered my equal stubborn head. So yes, I would accept jack's present to let me live with him for free and I could easily accept the 50/50 on all the rest. That was fair as well for Jack as for me.
The delicate subject of a salary was something quite difficult. I wanted it to be fair for both of us, but I also had to watch out that it was fair for the store. At the start I was thinking Jack would be needed only a few days a month or even a few hours per week. The result was that my store was running really good and I even had my zone manager of Apple saying it would be a good thing to have a permanent help. He looked of course at my monthly figures and told me I was due to be nominated for the best selling shop of the year if things kept going the way they were. He insisted that if I didn't want to give all my hard deserved money to the taxman, I would have to have some additional costs to reduce my income-taxes. He gave me an idea of what a help in store could cost ad what I would save in taxes. The figures were as plain as day and according to my accountant, it was a good idea to make some extra costs despite the important investments I made not so long ago. After working together for almost a month, on an every day basis, I decided to talk to Jack.
-Jack, how is your job hunting going?
-It could go better I'm afraid. It seems I am already to old on the job market. Can you believe that? I still have about twenty years before I can retire, which means I am only halfway my professional career and some companies tell me I am too old for the job. As you well know, I slowed down my research, being busy with you at the store. Nonetheless, I've sent quite a lot of resumes, but it seems that some companies are not that keen on politeness and don't even acknowledge they received my resume. It is a bit frustrating.
-I see... Do you like to help me out at the store?
-Like? I love it! It is so easy to sell when you now the product and that you are convinced it is the best available. The people coming to your store now they will have to spend more than for any other make, but they accept it. What happens is that they have the means to spend that kind of money, otherwise they would not even come in. In the short time I am helping you, I learned so much and I just adore your approach to the customer.
-Ok, I can see you are convinced indeed. Would you consider being with me 24/7 ?
-Jason, we already are. What is that all about?
-Jack, I want to offer you a contract as an employee of the store, meaning that we would work together and live together. In very few words, being together 24/7. You would have your salary and all the possible advantages I can afford to give you.
Jack was suddenly very silent and I gave him time to let it all sink in his head.
-You don't have to answer right away. You can think about it if you want. If you don't see it, well, then I will have to hire someone else. The fact is, and you know it, I can't manage on my own anymore. I really need the help on a daily basis.
I slipped a paper over the table, mentioning the wages my zone manager had suggested as being fair. It included a fix salary plus a commission on sales. Jack looked at the paper and his eyes grew bigger.
-Ok, when do I start? I certainly want that job. Being with you 24/7 is a dream come true. I know that maybe it can become difficult as when we leave our work, we will still talk about it. We will have to find a way to leave work behind us when we get home.
I smiled because I knew he would accept. It was so obvious that Jack was made for such a job. I had increased the figure my zone manager gave me because I was living rent-free, so the salary was not bad at all. I was so convinced he would accept the job that I came prepared and had a contract with me. If he wanted, we could sign it right there and then and that was exactly what we did. As soon as it was signed, Jack had a wicked grin on his face.
-So... from now on I will have to call you Boss?
If you like the story, let me know at amahy1957@gmail.com Your reactions are my motivation to go on writing.