WEEK ELEVEN - THE RETURN
FIRSTDAY
Whatever it was it was good to see once again our familiar river, its green flood plains with numberless lizrabs, the familiar foliage. Kito lifted his head and neighed at the sent of water, and I let him go to follow its scent. He knew well enough to stay away from the river, and instead made a brisk trod down the road to where a small stream dropped down the cliff face to form a pool at the base. Do-Si had followed behind, his mount as thirsty as Kito. It was early afternoon, but his dark eyes looked at me questioning the need to go further today. I nodded my agreement, and he set to erecting the tent and starting the fire for a proper meal while I cared for the horses then sending me to bring back a lizrab for the stew pot. This was a task without challenge, but one with which I was familiar and which gave the sense of the comfort of my previous life. Watching the lizrabs I remembered the day spent with Hi-Tui and Yue-Sin, and the happy ending of the day's tension. Now there was no one to throw a stone, and taking a lizrab was as simple as taking one of the grazers we had encountered by the stream on the other side of the mountains. Still, Do-Si applauded the return of the hunter bringing home food for his family as if I had undertaken a valiant task, and I fell in easily with his simple humour.
Do-Si seemed very happy. He was naturally a happy spirit, but now, back in familiar territory, he appeared very content. I recalled how he had told of his love for me, so I guess this, our being alone in the wilderness, was a continuation of a dream of happiness for him that had begun on the green grass of the valley of the Hut. That I had not given this a thought made me question how much else had changed within me. I, who used to be so sensitive to the feelings of those around me, was now cold and remote like the lords of fireside stories. The meal was extremely good also, aided probably by a large hunger. Still, the familiar taste of lizrab, spiced with local herbs of our home cooking that Do-Si had found growing in the local of the stream served on a plate of rice satisfied more than anything I could remember having eaten before. Feeling content, safe for the first time in many days, I suggested, even though I felt an urgency to return like the sensation of having a lizlion behind my back, that we could stop for a day or so in the valley of the waterfall, and enjoy the magic of the pool together. The gratitude in the eyes of Do- Si was sufficient to repay the anxiety caused by any lost time.
I wondered what we would find when we arrived home. That I would separate from Do-Si, and possibly never see him again in any kind of intimate way, was certain. But how I would find Father, what news there was of the King and the outside world. Thinking of Father my thoughts slipped to Mother. A sensation of guilt overwhelmed me at how little time I had given her in my thoughts. I would have to make up for this with time spent with her on arriving home. Home. My soft bed shared with Father. The bath of hot water. Clean clothes everyday. It would be wonderful to arrive. That night, snuggled into Do-Si, my lizlion still rigid inside him, I drifted into a sleep more restful than I had enjoyed since sharing a tent with Wi-Su in the valley of the waterfall.