The following story was originally written for a german website and later printed in my first book "Der Neuanfang". After I translated my story "Never saw a miracle" into english and getting lots of good feedback, I decided to translate this story, too. Some readers wrote me that I don't have to apologize for my English -- so I won't anymore g.
The story is set in Germany, so of course there are a few things unfamiliar to people from other countries. As example temperatures are given in degrees centigrade: 0 C are 32 F, minus 5 C are 23 F and so on. If there are any things you don't understand, please feel free to ask me about it. I love getting emails anyway, and I'd like to say my thankyous to all of you who already wrote me.
There are two other stories of mine published here on niftys:
"Never saw a miracle" in the gay/highschool section
and
"Different" in the gay/no-sex section
If someone is interested in reading the original german story, it's here:
http://www.nickstories.de
Look for "Peter's Stories". And if some is interested in buying my books (in german language, of course): they can be bought directly from me, even with my signature which will be worth millions when I'm a Nobel prize winner someday -- lol...
I'm sorry for the delay, but the holidays are over and I'm back to work, so I haven't that much time for the translation anymore.
But now let's the play begin...
--*
A new beginning -- Part 13
Copyright 2001-2006 by Peter Conrad, Peter_Co@web.de
We three who were left at the table were totally dazed for a moment, nobody was able to speak one single word. At the next moment Reinhardt reached our silent group, totally in the dark about what had happened.
"Hi. Did I just miss something important?"
Reinhardts words broke us out of our paralysis. His son jumped up, knocking over his seat, ran to the door and out of the coffee shop. This confused his dad even more and he started to follow him -- but I thought that it would be better if I ran after Tim.
"Mom will tell you everything, I'll take care of Tim. We meet at home, it will take a while."
I got up, took my jacket and Tims, too, then I raced out of the door. Out of the corners of my eyes I realized, that all eyes in the coffee shop were on me. Just great.
Out on the street I looked around. Let's just hope that the little one didn't run far away! But to my big relief I noticed him some 50 meters away, leaning on his dads car, his head turned down to the street, all in all looking like a heap of misery. As fast as I could I walked over to him.
"He, Tim, you're allright?"
He raised his head, looking at me with tearfilled eyes.
"Just leave me alone! I don't even know how you still can stand me. I destroy everything!"
Now that's what I call a setback. Or better a relapse to a behaviour I hoped he had overcome for weeks now. There was nothing left of his newly found self-confidence. Damned, aunt Helga, you don't even know what you did this time!
This would need much work, I had to restore my little brother to his old (or better to his new!) self. I sighed. Where to start? But first things first.
"Here, put on your jacket, I don't want you catching the death in this cold."
"Maybe this would be better. A good pneumonia and nobody has to be afraid of my stupidity anymore."
Okay, this wasn't the time for soft talking, I first had to break him out of his self lathering. I tried my best to have my voice sounding as harsh as possible -- something I really don't like to do, but a man has to do what a man has to do!
"Put on your jacket! And then come with me!"
I guess Tim was at least as surprised as I was myself about this, but it worked, he put on his jacket, still like in trance, and so at least the danger of bodily harm was not so big anymore. We would see how much harm aunt Helga had done to his mental health. When he was properly dressed I started to walk through the beginning snow fall. First I thought my brother would stay behind, but after a few steps he caught up to me and walked silently beside me. We walked on for two blocks, then he mustered all his courage and spoke to me.
"Where do we go?"
If only I knew! I mean, I loved to take care of Tim, but I had to take care of myself, too! This collision with aunt Helga really did a good number on both of us!
"I don't know, I have to think."
"Okay, I'll stay quiet."
I guess I sounded more rebuffing than I thought, but I wasn't in the mood to correct this impression instantly.
We wandered through the city for 15 minutes, and while I tried to sort my thoughts we came nearer and nearer to the Central Station. Okay, if you still can call it Central Station, today it was more or less a big shopping center with a few train platforms. But at least there were a few food courts -- and I was getting hungry. I dragged Tim to a bakery with coffee shop.
"What do you want to eat and drink?"
"Nothing, thanks, I don't feel like eating anything."
"Come on, I don't want to eat alone, I'd feel stupid with you watching me eat."
Five minutes later we were sitting at a table in a corner of the coffee shop with big pots hof hot chocolate and plates full of cake. I made short work of my cake and took a big gulp from my hot chocolate, then I sank back into my seat. Tim was only listlessy playing with his food. Time for another deep sigh. No sense in waiting any longer.
"Tim, why did you run away?"
Without looking at me, his eyes only on his plate, he answered in a dejected voice.
"Because I know that you hate me now. You just have to hate me now! I don't know when to keep my mouth shut, and I outed you to your aunt. And now she rejected, even disowned you! Shit, I even hate myself now!"
"I don't want you to hate yourself. And I don't hate you either. Okay, I'm a bit annoyed with you. You know what happened at school, you should know that you have to be a little more careful about who you tell what. Especially with people you don't know and when you don't know if I'm already out to them. But..."
He interrupted me.
"See! You say it yourself, because of me this desaster happened."
"Don't say that. It's not because of you. At least not only because of you."
"I don't get it."
Hm, how should I explain it to him?
"I'm to blame because I didn't came out to aunt Helga earlier. She is to blame, because she reacted totally irrational. The intolerance in the society is to blame. And I guess there must be something in aunt Helgas past, I'm still very much surprised about her reaction, it didn't fit her. Tim, this would happened within the next few days anyway, because I'm sure I would have told her during her visit. Sure, I would have liked it to do so on my own terms and not under the eyes of so many strangers, but that we can't change anymore. Your blubbermouth was only the last straw. I really don't hate you. Especially since I know that you didn't do it on purpose. I'm sure that you wouldn't do anything which could hurt me on purpose."
"You have to believe me, I would never intentionally hurt you!"
With his face half full with fear and half full with hope he looked at me.
"I believe you, Timmy."
At the next moment he was out of his seat, sitting down again beside me and throwing himself at me.
"Thank you, Danny, thank you so much! I was so afraid that you never again would want to have something to do with me. I was afraid that I finally lost you for good!"
"Don't worry, you haven't lost me. And you'll never will."
I tousled his hair and hugged him close to me. After a while he broke our hug.
"Are you still angry with me?"
I looked into his face, which -- with the exception of the tears -- was as cute as ever.
"Well, maybe a little bit. But now go to the bathroom and wash your face."
He was smiling again! Thank god...
"You should go there, too."
"Why? Do you need my help to wash your face?"
"Just come with me and I'll show you."
We went to the bathroom together, and there I realized why he wanted me to join him. His face wasn't the only one showing the trails of tears -- I didn't even realize that I had cried before! My tears weren't as fresh as Tims, I guess it had happened during our walk through the snow. We freshened up a bit, then we went back to our table, where Tim with new found appetit made short work of his cake.
"One more thing, Tim. Get it into your cute head. I could NEVER hate you. NEVER! If I hate someone than it is my aunt or better ex-aunt Helga."
"Can I hate her too?"
"If you want."
"Okay, then I hate her, too. Shit was I shocked when she exploded. I just had started to like her..."
"Until today I did like her, too, but I guess that's over now forever."
A few minutes later our pots and plates were empty.
"Danny, what will we do now? Going home?"
Good question. To be honest I wasn't in the mood to face the music yet. I knew exactly what was waiting for us there.
"No. I'll show you an Original-Danny-calming-down-strategy."
Tim looked at me questioningly.
"Frustration shopping."
"Frustration shopping?"
"Exactly. Sometimes when I'm feeling down it helps me to buy myself a few nice things. Giving myself a little success experience."
"Sounds good. And what do you want to get yourself?"
"Don't know yet, but here we have a lot of shops, and I'm sure we'll finde something nice. A few cd's, or books, or whatever. That's okay with you?"
"Sure! Let's go!"
For the next hour we strolled through different shops, and slowly my bag filled up (and my wallet emptied out). A cd, a dvd, two books... I guess I'd have to ask mom for more pocket money, or at least for a little advance payment.
Tim bought two cd's, too, and slowly our mood improved more and more. Then it was time to go home, but on the way to the tram station Tim stopped me.
"Look, over there, there's a new shop."
Really, there were two newly decorated shop windows, promoting a special opening sale. I was a little surprised, I mean, winter with freezing temperatures in my eyes wasn't the best time of the year to open up a t-shirt shop. But nevertheless Tim dragged me into the store.
The assortment of t-shirts was gigantic! Not only did they offer pre-made t-shirts, you also could choose designs from catalogues and have them printed directly on shirts. We both started to rummage through the displays.
Half an hour later I showed Tim what I found: one shirt with a giant wolf head with wide open fang on it, another one with tribal symbols, and a third t-shirt which was meant for my teachers: there were two M16 assault rifles on it with the words "No more Mr. Nice Guy!" under them. If our teachers would get the message?
Tim also carried a few shirts, one with a nice german sheperd on it, another on with "Shit happens" - and I won't tell you the about the matching picture on it. I started to head for the cashout, but Tim dragged me over to one of the catalogues.
"Look, wouldn't this fit you?"
He pointed at a design with a rainbow flag and the words "Thank God nobody knows I'm gay" on it.
"Or this one?"
I had to grin, the second t-shirt said "I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is".
"Tim, the problem is that I don't have a boyfriend. Yet. Sadly."
"Okay, then you'll get the first one."
"Why?"
"I want to make up my mistake to you. And don't start telling me that I don't have to make up to you. I don't have to -- but I want to. Got it?"
He looked totally determined, so I gave in.
"Okay, thank you."
Tim grabbed a white t-shirt my size and went to a sales clerk.
"Could you print number 398 on this shirt, please?"
"Sure, no problem."
During the next few minutes we watched her printing the choosen design on the shirt. When she was done she showed it to us.
"Is this okay so?"
We nodded and thanked her, then we went to the cash out. While we were waiting there we heard a loud voice from behind us.
"Next those faggots start to kiss in public!"
As if we were slapped into the face we turned to the voice. A men, around fortyish, small with thick glasses, balding head and all together the prototype of the ugly german government official was glaring at us disgusted. On his left arm was his wife, a true grey mouse. Of course all the other customers had heard him, and of course everyone of them was now looking at us. Why, just why did this happen to me, and especially today!?! Wasn't aunt Helga bad enough?
I would have loved to have Thomas at my side now, he never was never at a loss for words, even in such situations. But Tim was a real good replacement! He smiled happily at the guy.
"Thanks for the good suggestion!"
At the next moment he turned to me, hugged me, whispered into my ear "Just play with me!" and pressed his lips on mine! Oh shit! I didn't need to play anything! I leaned into his kiss and decided to make the very best out of the situation. I was totally surprised, Tim didn't hold back a bit, soon his lips opened and his tongue asked to be let into my mouth! At this moment my sane mind shut down, and I frenchkissed my little brother who -- at least as he said himself -- was totally straight. But I won't complain, the little guy was a real good kisser!
The whole scene did last for about a minute (maybe even only ten seconds -- or ten minutes, I totally lost my sense of time) and was over much to soon. At least for me. I was seeing stars, angels and I don't know what else. Did I hear wedding bells? When Tim broke up the kiss and our hug it was very difficult for me to come down again from cloud nine. Only the sounds from around us helped me to find back into the reality. The man who started the whole situation was stammering, with an extremely red head.
"That ... that's ... I don't know what do say! Those perverts! No morals anymore! The youth of today! All perverts..."
I guess he would have rambled on endlessly, but soon he was drowned out by the clapping of the other customers! There even were a few approving whistles! Tim smiled happily and bowed. Would I ever be able to fully understand him? His moods changed sooo quickly. For me I was still standing there totally dazed. Some of my blood was in my head now, giving my face the color of ripe tomatoes -- the rest of my blood because of the kiss and hugging was in another part of my body. I guess I don't have to tell you WHICH part exactly...
The situation ended with the cashier giving us the prize of our shirts. We payed, then we left the store we would hold in our memories forever. We were just out of the store when Tim started to laugh loudly.
"Did you see this guys face? He was soooo shocked, I thought he'll get a stroke!"
"Ahem... To be honest, I was quite shocked myself."
Tim became serious instantly.
"I hope I didn't do something wrong again. I just thought that this would be the right answer to this stupid idiot."
"Oh yes, it was the right answer! But I never thought you had it in you. You surprise me again and again."
"Surprises make life interesting."
I had to agree with him. We now quickly walked to the tram station and were lucky: our line was just rolling in. We even found two seats.
"Danny?"
"Yes?"
"I just wanted to tell you ... well ... I'm still into girls. I mean, the kiss was great, but I just hope I didn't give you false hopes again."
Ah yes. This answered the question burning under my nails. Okay, it would have surprised me if it wasn't so. It would have been to good to be true -- and I had to admit to myself that I still wasn't totally over the fact that Tim never would be anything more to me than a friend and brother.
"It's okay, I take what I can get."
I grinned at him, and he answered with a good played look of indignation.
"I just take it as good training for my real Mr. Right -- whoever it may be."
I had some quite precise ideas about who this Mr. Right might be, but I didn't want to work myself up for the next big disappointment.
We reached our house more than three hours after the incident in the coffee shop -- and I already knew what was waiting for us. I didn't even have the time to put the key into the door, when the door was already opened by my mother.
"Daniel, there you are! Did you find Tim?"
I stepped aside so she could see my little brother.
"Thank god, we were so worried about you! Come in. Where were you the whole time? What did you do?"
A few hundred years ago the spanish inquisition would have offered my mom a top-payed job, she was really good at it! We went into the house, and Tim showed my mother his shopping bags.
"We did frustration shopping."
"Oh my, this will be expensive..."
With these words Reinhardt joined us.
"Maria, just let them in, okay? You can grill them in a few minutes."
She looked at him, then she nodded and went into the living room. Reinhardt started to follow her, then he turned back to us again.
"Boys, get rid of the warm clothes, then join us. And bring your purchases, we want to know with what you fought your frustration -- and how much it will cost us."
Hm, this went better than I thought. A man in the house, with a cool, rational head, had his advances. Especially as counterpart to an overprotective mother like mine. We went up to our room, took of our warm clothes, used the bathroom and then went back down to the living room, where our parental units already were waiting for us. We didn't even have the time to sit down comfortably when my mom already started again.
"Daniel, Tim, are you alright? My god, where were you for all those hours! And why didn't you call us?"
"Mom, I told you that I'd take care of Tim. And I also told you that this would take a little longer. We are fine, nothing happened, we talked about what happened and everything is okay between us. Right, Tim?"
"Yes. No need to worry. I'm sorry that I stormed out this way, but I wasn't myself at this moment. Maria, I'm so sorry that you had a fight with your sister in law because of me. Do you think that there's still a little hope?"
"I don't know. But I don't think so. I don't know what got into her, I've never seen her this way before. And Tim, I don't blame you, and I hope this son of mine doesn't either."
I shook my head.
"Good. I'm so glad that you're here again. But couldn't you at least have called us? And Daniel, don't start about a cell phone again!"
"I'm sorry, I had so much things to think about, I totally forgot to call you."
My mom sighed but seemed to be very relieved. Then Reinhardt started into the interview.
"Now tell us what you did the whole time."
Tim and I told them the story of our afternoon. When I told them that I voluntarily walked through the cold for twenty minutes my mom was almost shocked. Both her and Reinhardts faces showed deep strain and only losened up when we told them about our reconciliation. When we came to the frustration shopping Reinhardt stopped us.
"Come on, boys, show us what you bought yourself."
We showed them our purchases, leaving the t-shirts for the big finale. Especially that one special shirt. I noticed that Tim didn't say a single word about the incident with the man hateful man in the store, so I decided to not mention it, too. Even though I would have loved to brag about my first french kiss with a boy! When I showed our parents the last t-shirt they were astonished, then they laughed.
"Will you really wear this shirt, Danny?"
Thank god, I was Danny again! I guess the critic situation was over.
"Sure. Everywhere. Tomorrow at school."
Tim and our parents stared at me with big eyes.
"Under my fleece-shirt."
Now they grinned, and it seemed like at least my mom was a little relieved.
"What do you say, Maria, the t-shirts are clothing, and usually we buy the clothes for the boys. Should we give them back the money?"
My mom seemed to be in a generous mood, maybe because she still was so glad to have Tim and me back.
"Okay, what did you pay for them?"
We told her what we spent on the shirts, and I noticed that Tim didn't count in the making-up-shirt.
"Good. Reinhardt, will you give them the money, please?"
Tims dad did so, and both Tim and me got an additional ten euro bill from mom. This was the end of the big palaver, so we took our purchases and started to leave for our own room, but mom stopped us.
"Danny, did you get the phone number of this woman? The mother of this potential gay son?"
Shit, I knew that I forgot something important.
"Sorry, I didn't get it yet, I totally forgot to ask."
"You'd even forget your head if it wasn't fixed to your body."
Thanks, mom. To my surprise my little brother jumped in.
"I've got the number, Maria. I'll write it down for you."
My mom was speechless, and only when Tim already had written down the number she found her voice again.
"How did you get this number, Tim?"
But her new youngest son only smiled and ran away before she could grill him any further. Mom gave me a questioning look, but I just followed my brother. I had a distinct suspicion how he got this phone number. Upstairs in our room Tim jumped on his bed sighing.
"Puh, we survived. I thought it would be worse, with reproaches and maybe house arrest."
"Or tickling punishment?"
"Or that!"
We both laughed.
"Seriously, Tim, the last time I had house arrest was when I was thirteen."
"What did you do?"
"Okay, I'll tell you. You're laying safely in your bed? I don't want you to fall out of it. Good. It was when my dad was still alive. It was summer, and he had decided to teach me swimming. I mean real swimming instead of my dog paddling."
"A good idea."
"That was what mom thought, too. I didn't. I plead and begged, but there was no way out of it. We wanted to spend our next vacation at the baltic sea, and I should be able to swim safely then. They were afraid that something terrible would happen to me in the water if I wasn't able to swim properly -- as if I would go into the water voluntary!"
"That I believe you. How did you survive this vacation?"
"It didn't come that far, one week before our vacation started my dads plane crashed."
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to open up old wounds."
"It's okay, I started it myself. Now where was I going?"
"You wanted to tell me how you ended up in house arrest."
"Ah yes. Okay, I tried everything to get out of the swimming lessons, I played sick, said that I had to do homework and so on, but nothing worked. So when it was the day to go to the lake I packed everything I would need. Everything except my swimming suit. The plan was to tell my dad at the lake that I forgot the swimming suit and sadly couldn't take the lesson."
"And your dad did see through your little plot and gave you house arrest."
"Yes. And that wasn't all."
"Oh? More punishment?"
"Yes, the worst was, that my plan didn't even work. He just went with me to another part of the beach. To the nude beach to be exact. He gave me the choice of either taking two hours of swimming lessons at the nude beach plus one week house arrest -- or going home, house arrest for the rest of the school term and of course swimming lessons WITH swim suit the very next day."
"What did you choose?"
"Just guess. It still were three weeks till summer break, and he would have thrown me into the water the next day anyway."
"So you went nude."
"Sure. Thankfully there weren't many people around. I survived."
"And now you're a big skinny dipping fan!"
"Forget it! Never again, I'm not an exhibitionist."
"We'll see..."
"Whatever. To change the topic: how did you get the Steins phone number?"
"Do I really need to answer this question."
"No, you don't. I guess the little plot of Flip and me this morning worked out well. Are you together now?"
"I wouldn't go that far yet. I mean, I really like Veronika, she's nice, funny, intelligent..."
"...cute..."
"That too. But for now we're just friends. I like her, and I'd like to get to know her much better. And maybe something more will come out of it."
"Ah, don't worry, which girl would be able to resist my cute little brother?"
"And which gay boy..."
"Exactly! By the way, I'm afraid your new girlfriend will be a topic at dinner. It was big news for mom just before aunt Helga freaked out."
"Yes, I know, I was already wondering why she didn't say something about it yet."
"Maybe she didn't want to out your love affair to Reinhardt."
"Come on, there is no love affair."
"Yet."
"Yet. You think she didn't tell my dad?"
"I don't know. But if she didn't, I will!"
"What? You really would rat on your cute little brother?"
"Sure, it's called revenge! And your dad will be very happy anyway."
"Okay, okay, but let me tell it myself, okay? If Maria doesn't say anything, I will."
"Okay, it's your game."
"Thanks."
The next hour we spent with doing homework, but after the eventful day I wasn't really on it. Okay, if I got me a bade grade at least I knew why. At some point Thomas called to hear about our day with aunt Helga, but I wasn't in the mood to tell the whole story again, so I only gave him a short version, promising to tell him the rest later.
Then it was time for dinner, and we all met in the kitchen. Mom again told us that she was sorry for aunt Helgas outbreak, calling her a stupid bitch. So much about not swearing.
"And Danny, one very important thing. Whatever Helga says, your dad would be very proud of you if he could see you today. And I'm proud of you, too!"
"Me too."
"Same goes for me."
Okay, that was it, again I was in tears.
"Thanks, guys."
Before the mood became even more like a soap opera, my mom changed the topic.
"Now, Tim, what did Helga mean with that girlfriend stuff? Is this something totally new, or are you just good at keeping secrets?"
"It's totally new, it only started this morning. I met Veronika -- that's her name -- at school today. Is she my girlfriend? I guess it's still a little early to say."
"Now speak, we want to know everything!"
If women always were nosy, Reinhardt was even worse. Okay, I guess he was quite happy that his beloved Tim wasn't gay like me.
"Okay, okay! Let me think. She's blond, has deep blue eyes, as tall as I am, my age, has a great sense of humour, a great body, and by the way: she's Philipps little sister."
"Wait a moment. Philipp. That's the name which started everything today. Danny? Did you find yourself a boyfriend finally?"
"Ha, I only can dream about it. Tim was just kidding with aunt Helga, he couldn't know that it would turn out this way. By the way, it's Philipps mom who wants to talk with you, mom."
"And that call you I only can dream about it? If his mom is right and he really is gay, maybe you'll be boyfriends sooner or later. Or don't you like each other?"
"The like each other so much, they even started to plot against Veronika and me, pushing us to each other."
"You won't complain, little brother, will you? Didn't you say that you like Veronika?"
"Yes, I do, but it still was a little embarrassing."
Meanwhile my mother had counted everything together.
"Now I know how Tim got the phone number of Dannys new karate coach. Entanglements like in the politics."
We talked for a little longer, the mood was much lighter now, and I managed to push the bad events of the day a bit more in the background. After dinner Tim and I went up in our room and played a little with the computer, but soon we were tired enough to end the day. After a quick (sadly separate) shower we went to bed. I guess it's quite understandable that I had problems with falling asleep, I didn't get more than four or five hours of sleep this night. Luckily the weekend was near...
..*
to be continued in part 14