Never Say Never

Published on May 10, 2003

Gay

Sunday, I wore shoes, my sexy new overalls, no underpants despite the continuing cold and a jacket, zipped only at the bottom. I felt as pretty as Georgie.

Georgie was on the Square with a tall dirty blonde boy I'd never seen before. He acknowledged my greeting with a glance then moved on. It hurt. I watched them go, fighting the temptation to run after Georgie and punch him in the head. I just couldn't seem to let go of the fantasy image of Georgie being capable of loving me even if just a little. Was he doing a sex show with the other boy I wondered? I turned angrily, bumping into a well-dressed man.

`Whoa there,' he said with a grin as he caught me in his hands.

I backed up a step to go around him, my mind focused on my jealous anger.

'Aren't you Georgie's friend?'

I looked up at him sharply. 'Why?' I asked controlling the urge to say hell no.

He was about forty, thickset and still smiling pleasantly. 'I saw you two together a couple of weeks ago but you went with somebody else before I could get to you. You alone?'

I was too upset with Georgie to say no to anyone who asked. I just wanted off the Square. And the man looked well heeled and okay. 'You wanna go out?' I asked him.

'Sure. Are you hungry?'

'Yeh, can we go to Tad's?'

'You like steak?'

Dumb question, I thought. We ate at Tad's Steakhouse then went back to the Holiday Inn. The guy really liked to talk though it did gradually got my mind off what I perceived as Georgie's unfaithfulness. He asked me everything, my name and birthday, about my family, school and friends. I fed him a pasture full of bullshit about my father who worked as a cop and my football team and all A's in school. He said his name was Bill. I never believed any of the names they gave but Bill was better than the usual John. Anyway, names were unimportant as long as they handed over some green.

In the hotel, we went to a large, warm room on the fourth floor with stuffed chairs, wall-to-wall carpet and a television. It smelled new. The bed had clean white sheets and thick pillows, nothing like the flat ones back in the Holland. The carpet felt sexy under my bare feet. I wondered what it felt like on my bare body. I took off my jacket, shoes and overalls and tossed them on the floor. He folded his clothes and placed them on the dresser. He had a kind face and recently cut hair just long enough to comb. His hairy body spoke of weight lifting.

I sat naked on the carpet. I liked the feel so lay back, arms behind my head and ankles crossed. Bill watched, an amused expression on his face.

'What do you like to do, and where?' he asked, grinning. That was a departure from the norm.

'Whatta you wanna do? It's three for you sucking me, five if I do you, six to swallow your cum.'

'You're quite the business man, Ray.' He sat down beside me cross-legged. `But I asked what you'd like to do. Or would you rather we just talk.' He still had his boxers on so I wasn't sure what he really wanted.

'I dunno. You're the john so what'd you pick me up for?'

'Well, mostly to get to know you.' He lay back on the carpet beside me, hands behind his head. None of the normal smells drifted over from his exposed underarms, no sweat or cologne. He had bathed before going out.

That made me very suspicious, worried. What if this guy was some kind of cop or social worker? My clothes were on the far side of the room from the door. Escape would be difficult.

He sensed my unease. 'Don't worry,' he reassured, I'm not a policeman or anything. Here, see?' He took off his shorts and fell back to the carpet.

That helped a bit but his dick was soft. Most any other guy would have been hard by then.

He slid against me and slipped one muscled hairy arm under my head and fondled my cock with the other. My hardon was immediate. The fondling also made me feel more secure that I wasn't about to get popped, or preached to and taken home to my mother.

'Really, I just want to do what you like. I'll give you six dollars even for nothing. I mainly want to get to know you.'

This was really strange. But he was going to give me six bucks, which meant he expected a blowjob. So I played with his dick until it was hard then bent down and took it in. It tasted really clean, hardly had a taste at all except maybe for the large circumcised head. Circumcised mancocks generally had less flavor than uncircumcised with all that crap from under the foreskin. Mine got raunchy after a day too. That's why I always took a bath before hustling, even a couple of times when the boiler was not right and the apartment and water were cold.

While I worked on his thick cock, Bill ran his fingers through my curls then caressed my back and neck, continually talking about what a nice boy I seemed to be and how he wanted to get to know me better and see me again. Then, 'Do you want me to do you too?'

That was his second question that didn't need asking. He picked me up by the hips like I was a plastic doll and placed my crotch over his face. Strong dude. My dick and balls fell into his mouth like money in a bank. We did a leisurely 69. I was close to coming before him but he must have sensed it and sucked on my balls until my cock calmed down. To keep from getting all that bad taste in my mouth, I always took the john's cock way to the back of my mouth the minute I felt the guy was ready to shoot his load. That way I could swallow it fast and not taste it as much. The man's cock bloated. I let it go as far back in my mouth as I could without gagging. Instead, he yanked his cock out of my mouth at the last second and dumped into his hand. Five bucks, not six. He kept sucking hard on my cock, and doing a very good job of it. I'd lost my concentration so it took a couple of minutes to get off. He kept me in his mouth until my last bounce.

We showered. Bill was still talking and asking questions, catching me in a few story screw-ups. But he didn't mention them and we made a date for the following Sunday at twelve. We were to meet at Tad's for lunch. He gave me two five's instead of one. I thanked him and he gave me a hug, an embrace that seemed to mean more than the quickies a lot of the other johns gave.

I looked forward to our next meeting.

After a frustrating half hour of cold air freezing my middle and johns that wanted bigger dicks, I finished Sunday off with double feature westerns, one with John Wayne, a man I saw as a giant among men, second only to Bogey. I walked home trying to imitate his gait.

In bed that night, I thought about what it would be like if one of the johns, like Bill from that morning, really did like me. Lots of them said they did but all they ever really wanted was sex, even the ones who took us out to eat and to the movies. Most of them wanted new kids for sex, often offering us a commission if we'd find new ones for them. Only a few had taken me out more than once. I tried to count the men I had gone with but quickly realized there were too many for that. Georgie, I thought, must have been out with twice as many, maybe more. Of all the kids I'd seen on the Square, Georgie was the most beautiful, even considering the blondes that came over from New Jersey and two really pretty brothers from Brooklyn. But even Georgie didn't have anyone who stayed with him for long. That last guy who saw him on Sundays seemed to have moved on. I hoped the woman I expected to eventually fall in love with wouldn't be that fickle.

Monday morning, Cholito was sitting on the curb waiting when I got to Ninth Avenue. It lifted my spirits seeing him there. Was this boy going to be a real friend?

I stopped ten feet from the corner. What about my plan to start talking sex with Cholito the next day? What if he said something and the counselor found out? Nah, two kids beating off wasn't going to get anybody excited. Happened all the time. The plan was on.

Cholito was like a shaken Coke, all bubbly about Saturday's games and movie. I had to remind him not to tell anybody I'd taken him.

`Don't worry, I ain't no snitch about nothin'.' The way he said it and had kept his mouth shut about the coat increased my confidence. I had picked the right kid, at least for being stand up. And what I'd been able to feel of his body built my hopes he was as nice naked as he was clothed.

Tuesday afternoon after our special class with Mr. Martinson, we walked to a pizza joint on Ninth Avenue and Forty-Sixth. It was warm enough for us to sit on a stoop up the street and eat our slices. I edged into my plan.

`Sunday I seen two kids in a walkway beating off like there was nobody around. Lucky they didn't get caught. You don't never do it outside, do you?'

`Nah, I do it in the bathtub. I can lock the door when I'm in there.'

Good! I thought. He did it a lot, liked it.

Our bathroom ain't got no lock,' I told him, so I gotta do it in bed or someplace else.'

Cholito didn't respond to that lead, just bit off a piece of steaming pepperoni pizza.

No matter, next step. `I got a place where nobody goes, just me, and I beat off there sometimes. It's cool. Wanna see it?'

`Okay,' he answered with his mouth full.

I wondered did he want to see the place or was this an interest in getting off.

We finished our slices while walking to the stoop under which was the door I opened to get to the basement, then to the back patios where we went three buildings down and entered my hideout.

`It's dark as shit in here. Ain't it got no lights?'

Just wait a couple minutes and your eyes will get used to it and you can see cause a the two windows.'

`You're sure ain't nobody else comes here?'

`Sometimes at night, junkies and teenagers looking for a place to fuck, but never daytime like now.'

`I still can't see nothing.'

I was worried he might want to leave so I did something I hadn't wanted to do, broke off one of the pieces of wood nailed over a window. The place lit up all the way to the boiler.

`That better?'

`Yeh. Man, it's neat in here. A kid could hide here for a long time. None of the other kids know about this place?'

I come here all the time and I ain't never seen nobody, just me.' I didn't want to mention that, a couple of times, I had found used rubbers and burned bottle caps like they used to boil their drugs. C'mere, I'll show you my beat off place.'

He followed me without comment to the boiler where I pulled out the cardboard and a two clean T shirts I'd put in the previous week in preparation.

`See, I can sit down here and take as long as I want. Wanna do it?'

`Okay,' he answered without hesitation. That excited me. I could feel my dong stiffening.

`Put your shoes and pants over here,' I directed as I undid my belt.

Nah, I'll just pull em down.' He did exposing a dark place between his legs with a brown piece of flesh peeking out of the shadow. It worried me that his dick was one of those small ones like one kid in his class whose was so short that he always dropped his pants to pee to avoid pissing on the fly flap.

A bit disappointed, I didn't argue, just yanked off my shoes and stripped off my pants. As usual, I wasn't wearing underwear.

He stood on the cardboard and started pulling on that hidden peter I badly wanted to see. I sat so he'd have to sit facing the light. My dick pointed straight up in the air.

`Shit, yours's almost big as mine,' he said.

Almost? I repeated to myself. `Lemme see,' I requested.

He waddled to me on his knees, pants now around his ankles, shadow still hiding his front. I pushed his hip to turn him. My concern about his cock size evaporated. It was a lot bigger than mine. It was at least as long as Kenny's, three and a half inches, and just as thick. Only ten years old and already growing. I looked as his balls. They looked puny below, normal for his age. Cholito was just big! It took every ounce of my self control to back away and not suck him dry on the spot.

'Big, ain't it?' he boasted with a broad grin.

Regaining some control, I suggested, `Sit down, it's better that way.' I pointed across from me where I wanted him.

He sat and wrapped his fist around his cock only covering about two thirds of its amazing length. I started in too, opening my legs, hoping he would follow my example. He watched me and copied my technique of flattened fingers in front, thumb behind. I spread my legs wider. He pushed his pants down over his ankles and raised and spread his knees. This was going great.

`How's yours feeling? I'm getting close to my first time' I announced

`How many times you do it?' he asked after a few seconds thought.

`I can do it three if I'm really hot like now.'

`I never done it more'n once.'

`You getting close?' I asked

`Not yet. I gotta think about something.'

`Like what?'

`Maria Santos naked or her sister.'

I'd have preferred a different answer but Maria Santos was pretty. I thought about sucking Cholito. It worked. I grunted Unnh, unnh' to make it more dramatic. Now! I'm coming!' I did and lay back so I was lit up by the window. Cholito squinted at my throbbing cock bouncing in the air, tightened his lips and worked his faster.

I played with my balls and watched. His eyes closed and his head gradually went back. Here I come,' he announced. His legs dropped to the cardboard and stiffened. He let go of his dong. Now,' he declared proudly. He did because I could see it sharply bouncing up and down, looking even bigger than before. He fell back flat, breathing audibly.

His cock was amazing.

I wanted to stick something in my hole for the second time but didn't think Cholito was ready to see that.

`Can you do it twice?' I asked.

`I don't think so. You gonna do it again?'

`If you want.'

`Nah, mine's too ticklish now.' He pulled his pants up to his thighs.

I didn't want to lose sight so soon. Wait, I wanna see something.' He stopped. I crawled to him and said, lemme see your balls if they're growing yet.'

He slid his pants back down and opened his legs. `They ain't growing nothing. Been like this all my life.'

I looked. They were nice and round and loose, just as I liked them. I reached between his legs and felt the soft skin of his sack and rolled his little orbs between my fingers. He was definitely still a kid. How did he ever grow a thing that large?

Don't squeeze em. That hurts.'

`Just seeing how they hang. Yours are gonna be big.'

I knew that was a mistake. How was I supposed to be an expert on boy balls. No matter.

`Think so? 'Cuz a my penis being so big?'

`Mmh hmmh.' This kid had no hang ups so far.

I waited until Thursday to broach the subject again. He hadn't mentioned it at all but was with me whenever he could, putting his arm over my shoulder like kid pals do.

`You sure like sex, Ray,' he commented as we headed back to the basement.

He took his pants off this time and spread his legs like me. He wasn't hard yet. His great cock hung down to one side halfway to his ass. Again, I had to fight the temptation to suck on him the entire time we were naked.

After both of us got off, I suggested, `Wait a few

minutes and I'll show you how to do it twice.'

`I don't think I can,' he said sitting half up on his elbows.

I talked about how our dicks get hard, blood filling the two spongy sacks on each side of our dick, and about how stuff comes out of our balls that helps make us get horny and want to have sex. It was a version of what the johns had taught me. He thought it was interesting.

`I hope nobody ever cuts my dick off when it's hard. Blood'd shoot all over the place hard as mine get. I'd be outta blood and dead in a couple minutes.'

Saturday, Cholito and I did the Times Square thing again except this time, after the movie, I took him to Nathan's up Seventh Avenue where he seemed concerned about the prices.

'You're lucky to have a rich dad like Ray Hoolihan,' he said. 'Wish I did.'

That made me feel guilty though I didn't completely recognize it as such. Having this great kid think my shit biological father gave a flying fuck about me was somehow wrong. Sure, he gave me money a few times a year but he never took me anyplace alone like to a park to play ball. He never really talked to me. Whatever he said was always said to impress his drunken white friends, men who I knew thought I was nigger trash.

I was sorely tempted to tell Cholito the truth about where I got my money but how do you tell a kid you suck cocks for a living and not have him think you're a fag.

Instead of rushing through our time on the Square to get back and score, I stayed for both movies and hung around with him on his block, playing tag and talking about Mary Santos and others girls he wanted to undress.

Next: Chapter 8


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