Title Series: Never Know What You Had ch 11 Pairing: Lance and Nick Carter (of the Backstreet Boys) Maybe? Author: Melissa LissaAGreen Disclaimer: This is just fiction. I am not implying anything about the actual members of *NSYNC or BSB in real life. I have no idea if they're gay or not. but if they were I would support their lifstyle. I've never met them. Feedback is greatly appreciated.
Lance's thoughts...
What was I doing? I just kissed Josh and I liked it! No not liked, loved! but I alreadt had a boyfriend. But I loved kissing JC. When our lips touched it was electricity running in my body.
When we pulled away Josh just gave me this smile and another peck on the cheek. It felt a lot better then the kiss we shared in the studio, and ten times better then when Chris kisses me.
JC grabbed the stack of photos when the fell out of the slot. I watched as they became in perfect view. I swear I could see a tear coming out of Josh's eye.
"JC what's wrong?"
"I can't believe I waited so long to tell you how I felt and now it's too late."
"Josh, it's never too late."
"But you have a boyfriend, the last thing I want to do is ruin your happieness. I've done that too much already."
I put my arm around him. I could tell he ment what he said. That he was sorry and that he loved me
"I'm sorry Josh, please don't be upset though, I mean I would still love to be your friend."
"I would too Lance, I mean at least theres that, Do you wanna keep these?"
JC handed me the roll of pictures I ripped off two of them and handed it to him.
"Okay Josh, any ride you wanna go on next before we leave/ I'm getting a little tired."
He smiled at me and just took my hand. I felt good to be able to talk to him again. I just wish I knew this a week ago.
Afterwards we went out to eat. It's funny, I mean; I've known him for a long time but I feel like I made a new friend. We were laughing and joking around like friends should. We never brought up the other guys and I never mentioned Chris, I didn't want to make him feel bad.
"Well Josh, I'm very glad I came with you today."
"Same here buddy, I hope I can call you that?"
"Yeah, I would loved to be friends with you."
"We should be heading back soon though, we have another big day tomorrow."
"What are we doing?"
"Oh, for once Mr. Know-it-all doesn't know the scheldual huh?"
I laughed. I usually know what's going on day in advance.
"We we have a photo shoot with the other group, and have rehersal and also another interview."
"What time does the fun start?"
"Let's just say very early, eight o' clock."
"Damn. Well I have to say I had a very, very nice time with you today and I'm very greatful you asked me to come along."
"Hay, put that wallet back in your pocket, this is my treat Lance and you can stop thanking me. I have a lot of work left to do do gain your friendship back."
"No you don't Josh, you alread got it back when we kissed in the photo booth."
We both laughed at that.
The ride back was kinda quiet, I was getting tired and I could tell he was too. I was very greatful all the fans have left the front of the hotel. I didn't have any energy to push them away.
Josh stopped me before I got out of the car.
'What's wrong?" I asked.
"I was wondering, if I could maybe kiss you one last time? before you go back to him?"
How could I say no? I couldn't answer him though. I already betrayed Chris, but I wanted to feel JC's lips on mine one last time myself.
Josh closed his eyes and leaned forward. Each kissed that he gave me made feel better each time. Even the first one that was shared in front of the guys.
His tounge entered my mouth and I allowed it. I would have let him done anything he wanted.
His hands traveld their way down in between my legs and I opened them so he could get access to where he wanted to go.
The kiss became more intense. Remembering we were still in the car JC turned the engine off and leaned foward on top of me. I never pushed him back, I didn't want to. I wanted to feel him ontop of me, I wanted to feel his tounge inside my mouth and his hand in between my legs. I never once felt guilty, I never once thought about Chris. I just looked at the guy I loved for so long, for so many years. And as he was kissing me and touching me I felt so much more love for him.
He looked up at me. His beautiful blue eyes looked right into mine.
"Do you want me to stop?" he asked me.
"No. I've wanted this for so long JC. Don't stop stop now."
I felt him playing with my buttons and zipper of my jeans then I herd them pulling them down to my ankles.
His lips left mine and left a trial with his tounge down towards my thighs.
I still did not stop him, I wanted to feel his tounge on my body. I've been fantasizing about this ever since I joined the group.
When I felt his mouth on the head of my dick I thought I was going to explode the moment it touched me there. It felt much different then when Chris did it to me that day. his mouth felt warm and pleasing and welcoming.
His tounge licked up and down around my shaft. I started moaning.
"Yeah Josh, that feel so good, please don't stop."
JC sat up and took his shirt off, revealing his sexy chest.
"You know I never made love in a car before." he whispered in my ear.
"Well that's nothing, I never made love period."
"You mean your a virgin?"
"Yeah, is that a problem?"
"No. Just I thought, I mean, I figured you and Chris done it already."
"Well I mean, we kiss and he did to me what you were doing, but other then that we haven't done anything."
"Then maybe we shouldn't go any further, if I continue doing that, I won't be able to stop."
"Who said I was going to ask you to stop?"
JC just looked me strangly. I couldn't even believe what I had just said. I loved Chris yes, he's been my friend for the last few days. He made me be sure before I wanted to call him my boyfriend, but now that JC was back in my heart I was feeling very confused.
"I want to continue this Lance, but not like this. I don't want your first time to be in the backseat of a car, I want it to be special for you. And if you choose not to make me be your first, I totally understand. I just want you to be absolutely sure, becuase I've wanted for a long time to make love to you."
"To be honest, I'm not sure of anything anymore Josh. I love you yes, but I also love Chris, I mean is it wrong to love two people at once?"
"No, but, I don't know it is confusing. We should probbaly get dressed, I don't think Chris will like you coming in like that."
I looked down and realized my pants were still pulled down to my ankles.
"Yeah, neither would the hotel staff."
JC put his shirt back on and I stumbled trying to get my pants back up. I was a little dissapointed that it didn't go further, but he was right. I didn't want my first time to be in a car.
JC leaned over and gave me one more kiss.
"I couldn't resist."
I smiled and we got out of the car and went into the hotel.
Chris' Thourghts...
I was waiting anxiously for Lance to get back. He has been gone for a few hours now. Don't get me wrong I'm glad that he and JC are trying to get along, trying to patch things up, but its been five hours.
The sun was going down and I planned a secret dinner alone, just the two of us. Moments later I herd the door knob being pulled and he walked in.
"I'm sorry I took so long hon, what have you done?!"
"I'd thought I'd surprise you with dinner, I also rented some movies, I figured after being out with Josh, you'd want to relax here, with me?"
"Oh Chris, your very sweet."
He put his arm around me and gave me a hug. I was kinda shocked and disspointed that he didn't kiss me, but I didn't say anything.
"Actually I was kinda hoping to just lay down for a while. JC and I got dinner while we were out."
"It's okay, we can have this tomorrow for breakfast."
"Cold macaroni and cheese for breakfast?"
"Hay, I live alone I eat whatever I can make, you'd have no idea how hard is to make that though."
We both laughed at that.
"What movies did you get?"
"Sixth Sense and Idle Hands, hope you like scary movies."
"Yea sure. Just let me change and I'll be right there."
I popped the movie into the VCR as Lance went in te room to get dressed. What I really wanted was a repeat of the neght before, only in hopes hat we go further. I wanted to him to touch me. I wanted to feel his arms around me. He hasn't done that. I've been doing the holding, I've been doing th touching, not that I'm complianing either.
Lance yawned as he sat down on the coach. he looked so cute and helpless. This when I planned to make my move.
I sat down next to my boyfriend and put my arms around him. He snuggled up next to my chest and laid his head down.
Again I was shocked. I wanted to kiss him so bad since he walked in the door. But I didn't say anything again. I just let him lay on my chest. It felt good to hold him anyways. I realized how much I missed him.
I herd a low breathing sound coming from his nose. I knew he fell asleep. At that moment I was pissed. But I just laied him down on the coach and let him sleep.
I had a feeling that I was loosing him. I hated that feeling. I just met him and now I think I'm loosing him.
I would have to leave soon, the fans had a week to stay with the band and hang out with them. The week was almost up. I wouldn't see him again for a long time. Maybe he could come back with me. I mean it wasn't like he was leaving friends people that cared about him. These guys treat him like shit. And it doesn't look like he gets along well with the Backstreet Boys either. Everytime Nick tries to talk to him he pushes him away. I would have to ask him about the idea another time.
I kissed Lance on the cheek and whispered good night to him in his and. I went into the other room to get undressed for bed. I wanrted to be with Lance but I didn't want to wake him.
I took off my jeans and pulled over a t-shirt, it was then I noticed a roll of pictures on the bed. They were sticking out of Lance's pants pocket. I took a look at them. My heart stopped. The last picture showed JC and Lance kissing.
I was so pissed off. I was so angry! No wonder he didn't kiss me when he walked int he room.
I grabbed my shirt back and left the room. I couldn't be there anymore. And I didn't want to be there when he woke up.
Lance's thoughts...
I was awoken by the sound of the phone ringing. I slowly got up and went over to the desk to answer. It was just my wake up call. One thing I hate about sleeping in hotels they are never late with your wake up call.
I strechted and looked around the room for Chris. He ususlly always up before I am. I felt so tired, it was hard to walk around at first.
I herd someone at the door. I figured Chris must have forgot the key.
"Hay Lance."
"Nick? What are you doing up so early?"
"Photo shoot, besides I promised Eric we'd play Playstation later."
"Oh, come on in. Just hold on let me get dressed."
"No problem."
I snuck into the room real quick and pulled on a sweater and a pair of pants. I had no idea why nick was here. I didn't think there was anything left to say after what had happened.
"We can't talk for long, I'm meeting the other guys for breakfast." I said dryly. The truth was I had no plans, I just wanted him to leave.
"Look, Lance, I don't know why your giving me the cold shoulder, I didn't do anything. I knew nothing about that letter honest I didn't."
"I'm sorry Nick. I lot was going on at the moment when we met that day. I never wrote you a letter, Justin was playing a joke."
"Yeah, well I'm usually the butt of the guys jokes too, don't feel bad."
I smiled at him. I suddenly felt guilty about not giving him the chance to talk to me before.
"Where's Chris?"
"I don't know, I guess he got up early and went out. He'll be back soon. You want anything? Drink I was gonna make some toast."
"Nah, it's okay, I just wanted to make sure we were still friends. Do you wanna do something later?"
"Well the guys and I have long day, but when we come back I will let you know okay?"
"Sure, maybe you and Chris can come with Eirc and I to the movies or something, double date."
"Date? You and Eric are??"
"No, but we have kissed, and you know."
"You mean IT?"
"Noo! We felt each other over closthes though. Can I ask a personal question?"
"Sure."
"Have you and Chris, I mean did you guys?"
"No. We've just kissed too. Tell you the truth, I'm sure if I want to have sex. I mean when I get married sure, but right now I hear all these bad things like AIDS and stuff, it's not worth getting for a few hours of pleasure."
"That's true. You know I never really talk about sex and stuff witht the other guys, well Brian sometimes, I just feel like I can trust you with anything I say."
"You can Nick. I'm not used to having many people tlaking to me, but when they do they ca trust me with what they say."
"You know that night I came over and we had that fight?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I was gonna, you know, I mean I was hoping we would make out."
I couldn't help but laugh.
"Your bad Nicky."
"Yeah well, I can't help but want to kiss you."
"Well, I don't know what to say Nick."
"Wow, I made Lance Bass speachless! And I made him blush all in one sentence!"
Nick had the huge grin on his face. which didn't help matters any better.
"It's okay Lance, I mean I know you have a boyfriend and all, I don't want ot ruin that for you."
"Believe me Nick, I would love to kiss you, I probably would have let you that night if we didn't have the fight. But I need to think about some stuff first okay? I hope you understand."
"Yeah sure, it's no problem, well I should let you get going, I'll talk to you later?"
"You bet, thanks for coming by."
"Anytime buddy, see ya."
Nick left my room. I started to feel a lot better about myself. Lately I haven't liked myself. I figured the others didn't like me there was something wrong with me and now that I have Chris in my life things are looking up. But the questions was did I love Chris? I mean after last night with JC letting him kiss me, I would have let him go on if I didn't have a boyfriend.
I left Chris a note saying I would back later and that we had to talk. I left my room and went into Joey's to meet with the guys.
Justin's thoughts...
I walked down the hall of the hotel. I was sick of staying here. Lately I've becoming very homesick. Maybe it had to with the dreams I've been having, maybe it had to do with the fight JC and I had at any rate I missed my mom. Yeah that's right. Teenage hearthrobe misses his mother. Someone i haven't seen in a long time. Maybe that's why I've been so moody lately. No I knew the reason.
"Hay Justin."
I looked up to see who was calling me. Lance had just came out of his room. He was at the coke machine in the hall.
Flashbacks went through my mind about what I had done to him.
"Dajavoo I guess huh?" brilliant line Justin.
"Yeah, tell me about it. You didn't happen to see Chris this morning did you?"
"Yeah he's in Joey's room already."
"No, I mean Chris Corwin."
"Oh, no I haven't."
"I don't know if I should be asking this but, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm just fine."
"Justin I don't know why you hate me so much, but I'm trying to talk to you here,"
"Like I said yesterday Lance, if I don't talk to Josh about this why the hell would I talk to you?!"
"Fine, you know what I don't even care anymore, whatever it is that's biting you in the ass keep it to yourself!"
I watched as Lance went down the hallway into Joey's room. I've never herd him raise his voice to anyone.
"What's all the yelling about?"
"Damnit JC you scared the hell out of me."
"Sorry, I just wanted to see if everyone was okay, I thought I herd my name mentioned."
"Yeah well, Lance and I were,"
"Fighting? Again?"
"Not again, still."
"Oh. Well I guess you can really hold a grudge among people. I mean your still mad at me aren't you?"
"I have a right to be mad at you."
"Yes but it happened yesterday, I've apologized can you drop it?"
"NO! Let's see how you feel if I read your journal!"
"You want to? I don't have any secrets from you, everythig I write down in my journal I tell you first! I just wanted to know what's been going on with you, why you've bene such an asshole lately."
"I guess it's just my nature."
"Well maybe your right about that. I'll see you around."
At the photo shoot...
I decided to keep my distance from the other guys that day. I noticed JC and Lance were getting along pretty well, which just made me madder.
It wasn't untill we had to take the last picture where things went down.
JC was standing next to me on one side and LAance was on the other. The photographer wanted us to hug, to look happy as he put it.
JC put his arm around me which felt good. I felt a lot better in his arms. Maybe we can talk later on. I missed having him as a friend. But when Lance did the same thing I pushed him off.
"Get the fuck off of me!" I pushed Lance away from me and stormed out.
I herd JC saying something to Lance but I just kept walking. I didn't want them to follow me, I didn't feel like talking to them.
"Justin wait a minute!"
"Damnit Lance just leave me alone!"
"No! I want to know once and for all why you hate me so much!"
"If you don't know by now I'm not telling you!"
"Look Justin, you have to agree that I could pretty much kick your ass, so if you want to fight just let me know."
"Yeah right that I'd like to see, Lance Bass fighting me, or anyone for that matter."
"Well it looks like that's what you've been wanting. I mean yesterday I thought we were getting along great weren't we?"
"For a breif second yes. Look you want to know why I really hate you!"
"Yes! I've been wondering why since we met."
"Because Josh loves you that's why!"
I felt the tears coming, but no, I couldn't cry; not infront of him, not again. I let it out, I admit it felt good for the truth to be out. Then I announced something I never thought I would tell anyone, not even JC.
"He loves you and not me, that's why I hate you. I don't care if your gay Lance, I never did, I shouldn't anyways, I mean I'm gay too."
"You are? Justin I never knew."
"Of course you didn't know! I tried so hard to keep it from you guys. When JC first met you i knew he was found of you, then when he told me he was bi and was interested in you it broke my heart."
"Justin, I'm so sorry! But JC and I aren't together,"
"I know, but he doesn't love me, if he knew about what happened, I know he'll despise me."
"You mean about your father?"
"Yeah. I can't tell him what happened, I'm not even sure why I told you."
"I doubt he would hate you Justin, you guys are very close."
"I don't know Lance, I mean it happened so long, I swore to myself I wouldn't tell anyone. I was so angry at my mother when she told Paul."
"Well, I don't know what to say Justin, I just have this gut feeling that JC wont turn away from you on this."
"You think I should tell him?"
"I think it will put a end to this fighting, I mean unless you want to make up with him."
"I do. When I saw him reading my journal though, I was afriad he would read it."
"I didn't know thas why you guys were fighting."
"Yeah, I guess I over reacted a little."
I felt Lance put his arm around me, but then he removed it.
"It's ok Lance, right now i could use a hug. I'm so sorry Lance, I'm very sorry. I know I said to you before, but I mean it this time."
"It's all right Justin, just tell me you'll talk to him soon okay?"
"I will tonight, so please don't take him out."
I smiled at him, I've known about their little carnival date.
"He's all yours Justin."
"Lance I'm sorry I pushed you away, I mean I hope I didn't hurt you."
"You hurt me? Like I said I could kick your ass." Lance laughed
"Hay anytime you want, one on one, just tell me."
"The only persn you want to be one on one with is JC."
"You got that right, tell me Lance, is he a good kisser?"
"Yeah, he's even better then Chris."
"Wow really?"
"Yeah, sometimes when I'm kissing Chris I picture Josh, is that bad?"
"No, it's good to fantasize, I fantasize about him a lot."
"Well, we should be getting back, before they think you killed me."
"So you admit I could kill you in a fight."
"Hay, it was only a figure of speach."
"There they are!" said JC when we came back.
"We thought Lance was a gonner."
"Hay you know I can fight just as good as Justin."
"Sure Lance, we believe you, you two kiss and make up?" asked Joey
"Well, one out of two ain't bad." I said smiling at Lance. It was then I wondered how good he kissed.
"I'll settle for both."
"Watch Lance, don't want to get Chris thinking." said JC.
"Huh?"
"Don't worry Chris not you, we we're talking about Lance's Chris."
"Oh Scoop how could you date another Chris? I thought I was the only Chris in your life."
"Aww you are buddy, does this mean you all forgive me?"
"Forgive you? for what?" asked JC
"For what ever it was that you were so mad at me about."
"It's us who should asking for your apology Lance. We are all very sorry form the bottom of our hearts and we hope you can forgie us, we all do." I could tell JC was about to cry.. He gets too emotional over stuff like this.
"Of course I forgive you guys."
"I think I feel a group hug coming on."
"Uh, Joe I don't think this is the right place for a group hug." I said suddenly back away.
"Come on Curly, it would be the perfect poster for some teenage girls wall, now get over here."
What the hell. I haven't felt a good hug in a long time. And sure enough the camera guy wasn't far, as soon as we all hugged he snapped away.
We broke apart and started to get ready to leave. I myself even felt a tear coming. I quickly brushed it away though. Justin Timberlake does not I repeat does not cry.