Hi, I'm Nick Shafer, and you might have seen this story before, but I'm re-releasing this ammended version, cause basically it fits in with the whole story better. I hope to release as much of the story that I have on Nifty pretty soon (Upto about Chapters 11-12).
CHECK OUT THE WEBSITE
http://nickshafer.tripod.com for the full story so far, Links, Cast Pics and more...
ALL I've left to say is that I hope you enjoy it, oh and this...
DISCLAIMER: This story is complete fiction and these events only took place in my head, NOT in real life. Officially and as far as I know Paul Cattermole and S Club 7 are real live heterosexuals. This story contains adult material. So if you're not 18. get out of here!!!
Later days...Nick
Never Had A Dream Come True By Nick Shafer Copyright 2001
CHAPTER 5
Lee stood in the shower and let the water gently caress his body. He had so much to try and understand; so much to take in. It was unbelievable. Yesterday he had been a normal 18-year-old student. Now, well now he was a member of international pop sensation S Club 7. That may have been shock enough, but more than that he had fallen in love with his band mate Paul in the blink of an eye. And, get this, Paul loved him back! It was unbelievable. I must be dreaming, he thought, pinching himself just to see. He wasn't and he was in love.
Now love, Lee reflected, he could never understand. He'd chastised Justin before for his sad belief in love at first sight, and in finding a soul mate, someone you wanted to be with for life. Now he was a perfect example of Justin's ideals come true. He had fallen in love at first sight and it was the oddest feeling. It was a feeling of electricity in his stomach, a strange sensation of happiness that made him want to laugh all the time. It was that feeling of light-headedness, those indescribable buzzes that only those in love will ever understand.
He could feel Paul's caress even when he wasn't there, and could hear him whisper his name, and tell him he loved him. He sighed whenever he though of Paul, and seemed lost for minutes in his own thoughts. Hopefully Justin wouldn't figure it out he seemed to have a knack for knowing what Lee was thinking. Its not that he didn't want to tell him; Justin was like a brother to him and they had no secrets. It was just well he wanted to make sure Paul was ready to let someone else know. The only thing that was important now was that they were together. Love, thought Lee, steeping out of the shower and drying himself, love you never understand it till you've found it.
Love, you never understand it till you've lost it thought Jon to himself as he slumped down onto his bed, desperately trying to make up for the lost sleep caused by his nightmares and showers. Love made you high, it would be the emotional equivalent of having a bath in cotton wool however to the awful reality that losing love laid bare. When you lose love, you really find out what you had. Sad, but true. It's the small things that you miss. The smell of someone's hair, their smile, and their little mannerisms that made them so special to you. How close you were, how they always found the right words to say, and held you close when you were scared. Jon missed all that; his heart had been stripped bare. Without love he was frightened and alone. Trying to put on a brave face and act like nothing was wrong. If he only hadn't been so stupid and reckless, if he hadn't toyed with their love. He wanted Him back, he wanted...
"Toast?"
"No thanks Just" shouted Lee from the bathroom
"You sure?" questioned Justin, "Its not like you to turn down breakfast!"
Lee checked himself. That so-in-love feeling in his stomach really made it hard to eat, but he didn't want Justin to suspect anything "K" he replied "why not, and with marmalade"
Justin walked to the cupboard, removed the marmalade and proceeded to plaster a piece of toast with it. He too was reflecting on love. But his was a different kind of love, the worst kind. Unrequited love. The love that he felt for someone else, but he knew they didn't feel back. That aching, pounding love that made every minute with them a hellish paradise. Justin had always believed in lose at first sight, and his exuberant optimism always drove him to believe that one day his love would be returned. Yet it was torture watching and waiting. It is hard to understand unless you have experienced it. Take, for example a beautiful tropical beach scene. It is, in retrospect, the difference between walking along that beach and swimming in that sea, and in looking at a very good picture of that beach scene, imagining you were there. And it drove him MAD. Not mentally ga ga, because no mad person would ever contemplate they were going mad, but it raked at him, like fingernails across the blackboard of the brain. He could watch, could lust, could laugh and joke, but not touch and enjoy his love.
The smell of burning awoke him prematurely from his contemplations. "Shit" he said under his breath. "The toast." He pushed the cancel button on the toaster and a piece of blackened charcoal representing a slice of bread popped out. He caught it. He dropped it. Swearing. He grabbed a tea-towel to fan away the smoke and was doing this when Lee walked out of the bathroom. He was wearing a pair of tight blue shorts and little else. Quite a sight for Paul, had he been there.
"Go Just, another culinary masterpiece" Lee laughed.
Justin blushed, muttered something under his breath and continued fanning. Lee looked at his friend. He was quirky, funny, but not that bad looking. He had lightly tanned skin, because he came from Jersey like Lee, and a mop of dirty blond hair that never managed to find a style. He smiled a lot, and had that annoying smile that flashed white teeth. This morning he was wearing baby blue. Lee sighed. That's the only colour he ever wore and worse, it suits him. Lightly muscled, Justin wasn't really as impressive as Lee. He certainly would never physically hurt anyone. Not that he'd need to, Lee conceded. Justin could do things with cynicism that other people couldn't do with blows.
"So Just, what you doing today then?" asked Lee.
A disgruntled Justin, now horrified at the thought of ever toasting anything again, hadn't quite given up on breakfast completely, and ungracefully placed a bowl of cereal in front of Lee. "Oh not much, just meeting Suze for lunch, might do a bit of study...you know, these things us normal non-popstar people do"
Lee made a face at the bowl of soggy cornflakes in front of him." We popstar types don't appreciate this. This isn't the toast and marmalade I asked for"
"Oh really...I'm very sorry sir" replied Justin. He had a glint in his eye. Slowly he reached over to the marmalade, undid the lid with a pop and taking a spoon produced a large dollop of the tangy orange substance. This, he unceremoniously dropped into Lee's bowl of cereal. "Happy now?" The two collapsed in a fit of laughter.
Lee spent most of the day lazing around the apartment with Justin, their conversation ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous. Mainly the ridiculous. The dish of the day as far as Justin was concerned however was Lee's entry into S Club 7. For Justin, this made Lee practically a demigod. He hounded Lee all day for details about the band. "What's Paul like, is Rachael really that good looking in the flesh?" and so on.
Lee finally placated him. "Relax Just, you'll get to meet them soon I'm thinking of inviting them around for a barbeque."
Justin's mouth hit the floor " What! S Club 7 in our apartment. Oh My God, What'll I wear? When? I'll have to buy something." Lee's laughter interrupted Justin's repertoire. "What!" demanded Justin.
"You know Just, when you put your mind to it, you can be really really camp"
Justin blushed, then scowled, and finally laughed. "Fine then" he said, putting on a look of mock indignation. "I'm going out to lunch with Suzie I'll see you tonight then."
"Nah, it's ok Just, I'll probably spend another night with the guys. I'm a band member now. Gotta get to know them" - especially Jo, he thought, there's a lot of ice to break there. " I'll see you tomorrow"
Justin looked a little hurt as he left the apartment. Lee may be a member of S club, but he was still his best friend too. Had he known the real reason why Lee wanted to spend another night in the company of the band - especially Paul - he probably would have been crying.
Was this what it'd be like from now on thought Lee, slumping in the sofa. All his life was S Club 7. He knew it would be a big change. But he hadn't been expecting this. The whole world would see him as a star! There would be photocalls, the TV series, and of course the songs. Everyone would see him, his mates, his parents, everyone he knew from... HIS PARENTS! Lee leapt from the chair and grabbed the phone from its charger. He'd completely forgotten to tell them. Sure, it'd only been one night, and only Justin knew but still he had promised to tell them right away. He had so many people to tell.
"Yeah Goodbye Mum Yeah, you too Yes, I Love you and Dad. Love You Bye" Lee put the phone down and checked his watch. He'd been on the phone for ages! Justin would not be impressed by the phone bill, especially cause he had to pay half and Lee hand no mon.Lee checked himself. He'd never thought about that before. He was a popstar. He was - technically - going to be rich. So much to take in! He promised himself the first thing he'd do was to buy the apartment for Just, and pay the bills. It was the least Justin deserved, he was a great friend. And then his parents and his sister. So many things he could do for them, so many places he could take them. He had to sit down again. Eventually he decided it would be best to return to the complex where the rest of the band were staying. He grabbed his keys and mobile, and stuffed a set of spare clothes into a backpack, and he was on his way.
The sun was setting when he reached the fuller complex. It was a hazy day, and a mist was hanging in the air. It was cool, and made Lee shiver. When he entered he found both the lounge and rooms deserted. The others must be out to dinner he guessed. He headed to the terrace, which was his favourite place it was where he'd first met Paul. He was shocked then to find that another figure was there, leaning on the balcony rail. It was Jo.
"Urmm...hello" stuttered Lee.
Jo spun around. Her eyes were red, and it was clear to see she'd been crying. "Oh...its you. What do you want"
Lee said nothing. But leaned over the balcony too. Jo returned to staring out over the night skyline. The mist was rolling in around them. Lee finally broke the silence. "You really miss him don't you,Bradley I mean"
Jo turned on him. "How could you know, what do you understand, you never even met him"
Lee stayed very calm, and breathed deeply before he spoke. "I had a brother once. The greatest big brother anyone could ever have. He was so good to me. He always gave me great presents for my birthday, drove me anywhere I wanted when I was younger. No one could have a brother as good as him I thought. He was killed a year ago next month. He was out celebrating his 18th birthday when he was hit by a drunk driver." Tears were beginning to form in Lee's eyes by now, and his voice was chocked by emotion. " It was such a waste, I thought how could someone do this to such a great person. The greatest brother in the world! How could God betray me, then how could he betray me by dieing like this - I was so selfish. How could he leave me? I NEEDED HIM."
Jo turned to look at Lee, there were tears in her eyes to, but they were tears of sympathy.
Lee continued, "The worse thing was watching him in hospital. Connected to all that machinery. How I hate hospitals. The thought, the smell, it makes me sick. Watching him, knowing he'd never wake up. That's how I know, what you went through when you lost Bradley must have been terrible. It's a step-by-step process. We need the ones we've lost as inspiration to move on. I never meant to replace Bradley, and I want you to know that. I'm here as myself, because Russel - my brother - inspired me. He was the one who made me go for singing auditions when I was young, even when no one else believed in me. I don't want to fight with you Jo. Lets be friends, for the sake of Russel and Brad, I know its what they'd want."
Jo moved forward and embraced Lee. The two stood on the balcony, tears pouring down their cheeks, knowing they had the support of the other to face whatever lay ahead. There was no S Club Spark this time, no fancy electrical flash. But up above two stars twinkled more brightly than ever in the night sky.
When Paul returned he was shocked to find Lee and Jo not arguing, but laughing on the sofa. They hardly even noticed he'd come into the lounge. He gave a halfhearted cough to indicate his presence. Lee looked up. "Hi Paul, nice dinner"
"Ahhh Yeah" replied Paul, smiling just at the sound of Lee's voice. "Nice to see you two are talking"
"Yeah you know Lee isn't that bad a guy," laughed Jo. Lee hit here with a pillow.
"Well I don't know about you two" said Paul "but I'm bushed I'd better hit the sack"
"Yeah me too" replied Lee, suddenly excited by the thought
"Urmmm Brads room is still in a bit of a state, but I'll go and clear it now if you want" said Jo rising to her feet.
Paul raised his eyebrows, shocked. But Lee stopped Jo. "Its ok, leave it. Its late. Do It when YOUR ready" Lee told her.
She smiled "ok"
"I'll crash with you tonight Paul, if you don't mind."
Paul's eyes lit up. "Sure of course." Lee bid Jo a good night, and he and Paul walked slowly out of the lounge. They had barely rounded the corner before Paul grabbed Lee's arm and they were running to their room.
CHAPTER 6
Lee woke and untangled himself from Paul's arms. He looked down at his sleeping lover and a grin crept over his face. Slowly he brought his hands up under Paul's arms and began to tickle him. Paul smiled in his sleep, and reached out to push Lee away. This only encouraged Lee, who continued his attack with vengeance. Paul burst out laughing and his eyelids fluttered open. "What a way to be woken up" said Paul, grabbing Lee and pulling him into a kiss.
"Whoa" responded Lee, pulling back, "I'm not kissing you, dog breath".
"Ahhh...don't you love me any more?" said Paul, putting on a mock sad face, his lip trembling.
Lee hit him with the pillow. "Of course I do, just not first thing in the morning..." he giggled. Paul hit him back.
"Well, I fancy a shower, how bout you?" "You read my mind," said Lee, jumping up.
Paul pushed open the bedrooms adjoining door and steeped into the bathroom. He yawned, looking at himself in the mirror, and groaned. "I don't know how you can love me when I look like that in the morning" he told Lee.
"Its hard," said Lee "really hard."
"Oi" replied Paul, looking over at Lee, "talking of hard things"
Lee looked down, "Well, I suppose I could do with some help, but then so could you."
Paul looked down and laughed. "Yeah, I suppose". He walked to the shower and slid the door open, turning on the taps. A stream of cool water flowed from the shower. Lee slyly crept up behind him and pushed him forward, holding him under the freezing water. Paul shrieked and spun round. " Why you" he gasped at Lee. Lee took great pleasure in running his eyes down Paul's body, before saying mockingly, "Well, I suppose its ok, you know with the cold and all." Paul frowned, before grinning and pulling Lee in with him under the cool water.
Their lips met, and their tongues coiled, exploring each other's mouths. Lee pushed Paul against the shower wall. The water slowly warmed, and he ran his hands up Paul's body, making him groan. Lee pulled away from the kiss. "Let me soap you up" he told Paul. Lee sprayed the cool gel onto Paul's body, who responded with a groan as Lee rubbed it sensuously over his body. Taking especial care to rub Paul's nipples, those were extremely sensitive. Lee moved his hands down Paul's body, massaging Paul's ass with one hand, whilst with the other his fingers danced up and down Paul's cock, causing him to shudder.
Paul turned around to face Lee. "Your turn I want you"
Paul grabbed Lee's engorged shaft and slowly began jerking him off. He would rub his fingers over Lee's head, causing him to moan aloud, the sound drowned by the water. Paul's hands slid effortlessly up and down Lee's shaft. Touching Lee in all the right places to make him moan or sigh with delight.
"I want to taste you" Paul told Lee, getting down on his knees in front of him. He washed away the soap from Lees cock, and licked his lips. Paul slowly opened his mouth, and toyed with Lee's cock. Using his tongue to lick Lee's sensitive head. Then he plunged forward, taking almost all of Lee's cock into his mouth; his nose being tickled by Lee's pubic hair. Lee was astounded by how much he could take. Paul soon began a bobbing motion, up and down, on Lee's cock. Lee grabbed Paul's head, and gently stroked his hair as he plunged back and forth.
Soon Lee began panting and pushed Paul away before the inevitable happened. He sunk down on his knees this time, and began licking up and down Paul's throbbing cock. Paul was groaning, and almost came when Lee unexpectedly pushed his finger into Paul hole. Paul was really turned on, and the stimulation from Lee was driving him to the edge. Lee pulled away from Paul. "Turn around" he told him "I want to fuck you." Paul was evidently a bit scared, and his eyes bulged. Lee calmed him, "Don't worry, this is a big step, I'd never push you to do anything you didn't want to. We've got all the time in the world to move on and do this; we'll talk about it later. Just consider this a practice."
Lee pulled his naked body up against the back of Paul's. He didn't push to penetrate him, but instead let his soapy dick slid up and down against Paul's ass. Paul was starting to lose all his fear, all his worries. He looked down, and could see the suds forming between his legs. Then Lee's other hand appeared, lightly gripping Paul's shaft. With the same rhythmic motion he jerked Paul. The two bodies rocked in sync. Lee gasped, and Paul felt the warm squirt of Lee's cum against his back. Paul came a moment later, covering Lee's hand, the rest trickling down the sides of the shower wall.
Lee leaned against Paul, and the two slumped to the floor. Lee lifted his cum covered had to his mouth, and delicately licked his hand clean. They let the cool water cover them, and neither spoke for minutes. Finally Lee caught his breath. "Well, that was intense"
"Yeah" was all Paul could muster
Lee leant over and brought his lips to Paul's, the couple sharing an intimate kiss. Paul could taste his own cum still mixed in with the taste of Lee's saliva. They say, kissing and embracing for minutes until the water began to run cold. Paul jumped as the icy water hit him. They stumbled out of the shower and began lovingly drying each other. It was only then that Paul noticed the clock. "The recording. Oh Shit! We're late"
With their hair still dripping from the shower the two boys, giggling and shouting, pushed their way through the doors to the recording studio. Simon sighed "At last". The studio assistants ran up and pushed copies of the music into the boys' hands. Lee wasn't concentrating however, he was looking at Jon, who had given him a funny look when they walked in, raising an eyebrow and looking quizically at the pair. He couldn't suspect anything, could he? He certainly didn't want anyone knowing just yet. He and Paul were only just coming to terms with loving each other, let alone with someone else knowing. Yet, yet he realized that if Jon knew, then, well then he really didn't mind. Jon was a band mate and, more than that, he really felt he could trust him. Whatever Jon knew he would keep to himself. He had a good idea that Justin suspected something too. He'd have to let him know eventually, they'd been friends for years, they didn't have secrets. Lee sighed and looked at Paul. His brow was furrowed - in the cute way that always turned Lee on-; he was obviously thinking the same thing too. Their moment of reflection was quickly interrupted as Simon barked out his orders for the day. This was Lee's first major role as a member of the band. His first ever single! Who'd have ever guessed he'd be recording it as a member of S Club 7! Hannah was up first, then Jo who was doing lead vocals. Then Jon followed by Rachael. Lastly would be Paul, and then him, singing the boys harmonies!
The band sat in the studio lounge, joking, drinking coke and catching up on any pop gossip by reading the latest magazines. Lee sat between Paul and Jo. Lee and Jo had become increasingly close friends since they confronted each other and made up.
Jo quizzed Lee over his feelings after being in the band for his first week. " It's certainly not how I expected it to be...it's so hectic...but hectic everyone's been so nice and accepting."
He looked over into Paul's eyes. " I think I'm really gonna love being in the band". Jo smiled at him,
"Great!" she said " And if anyone pushes you round then they'll have to deal with me" Lee laughed at her 'tough girl' attitude, yet he knew she was really a big softy inside, and she still hurt over Bradley.
"My hair isn't that bad" came a disgusted cry from across the room. Paul laughed. " I think you'll find it is Jon." The magazine flew through the air towards him, hitting him square in the face. The group broke into hysterics.
A shout came from the studio, "You're up Jo". And so the morning dragged on.
It was mid afternoon, and the band, minus Paul who was recording, were sitted having lunch around a picnic table in what Lee considered to be the slightly chilly London sunshine. Jon slid up to him. " Lee" he said, " Can I talk to you about something?"
"Yeah, shoot," replied Lee, " What's up?"
Jon sighed, "It's err about you and Paul". Lee blanched, and he had a sick feeling in his stomach. " You know you're meant to be doing these harmonies," Jon continued.
Lee sagged and relaxed. " Yeah" he said, breathing out.
" Well, you've just gotta be patient with him ok. He's a perfectionist when it comes to these things."
"K", said Lee. " I promise".
" You're up Lee" came the shout from inside. Oh my god, he thought, this is it. Make or brake time. He stood up and, hiding his fear, slowly strode indoors.
In fact, the recording session with Paul was as easy as could be. The editor had been astounded by the boys' natural harmony, and the skill with which Lee sang. He'd never had a quicker, easier session. The boys hit the notes perfectly, and they never argued or attempted to out-sing the other. It was as if they knew what the other was thinking.
They found that when they left the studio the others had already gone ahead to get changed for dinner. Lee suggested that they walk back to the complex, considering it was such a nice day, and he didn't feel like taking the tube. Paul agreed, and the couple strode slowly back through the quite back streets. Paul had to be careful not to just reach out and take Lee's hand in his, even though he really wanted too, for the fear of them being spotted. They walked in relative silence all the way back; Lee appeared to have something on his mind.
"Something wrong?" asked Paul
Lee looked at him, biting his lip. God, thought Paul. He's soooo cute when he does that.
"You know how much I love you don't you" said Lee.
"Of course, and you know how much I love you too"
"Then" continued Lee " I don't want to upset you by pushing you"
"What do you mean," asked a confused Paul, "I know you'd never do anything to hurt me"
"Its just I find it so hard. This big secret, I want to tell so many people how much I love you. I want the world to know how I love Paul Cattermole" Lee said the last line without a hint of nervousness in his voice. "But I don't want to ruin you, or your career"
"You silly boy" replied Paul, grabbing Lee around the waste and pulling him close to him into a kiss.
Lee jumped back. " Are you crazy, do you want to ruin your career"
"Our career Lee, our career. You're part of the band now, as well as me. And I want the world to know I love you too." Paul told him
They walked on and Lee continued "But for now I think it would be a good idea if we only told a few friends. Not the world press. And no, I mean no public displays like that however much you love me." Paul looked disheartened, but Lee grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. Paul smiled and they walked on - discreetly - hand in hand.
" You know what I think would be a good idea" Lee told Paul as the sun set over the Thames " a Barbeque. " And so the plans were set. And Lee was content, because he could finally tell Justin. And Paul was content, because he was with Lee. And the sunset painted the Thames a vibrant red, and cast the buildings a black silhouette against the blazing sky. And the world was content almost. For its only is these quiet interludes that you can hear the quietest tears.