DISCLAIMER: This story is based in truth. Some events/persons have been altered for the purpose of the story. There may be scenes of unsafe practices which are not endorsed by this author. All other usual warnings and precautions should be considered here. Feel free to write with any comments, corrections, etc. Think of this as a Gedankenexperiment. And remember to donate to Nifty to support all of these great stories.
Not having to wake up alone is wonderful. As much as I enjoyed being alone through most of the day I realized it was necessary to feel companionship at some point too. It's impossible to expect yourself to figure out all of life's problems. Sometimes you just need a fresh set of eyes. Charlie was that set of eyes to me. He saw me in a way that no one else ever had.
I rolled over and lay my hand on his chest. We were in his room and the light was from the windows cast a muted glow over everything. This wasn't the night after "Killer Chiller", this was three weeks later. Sure, those three weeks were great, but they weren't influential. This is my saga through discovery; not a twenty-something's romance. Charlie and I had sex the night prior and it was pretty tame. I guess it was tame as far as sex with Charlie goes. Recounting every sexual exploit wouldn't add value to the overall emotion our relationship had. Plus I can't remember everything we did.
Last night he was in the mood to be "spit-roast". That's when both your mouth and your ass are occupied. We didn't have a three way, but Charlie keeps a few things around at his place. He started off blowing me and we ended after I came in his ass. By that time he'd cum twice as he usually did. Despite his interesting kinks, I really felt a connection with Chuck whether we were having sex or just walking to class.
"Is it time to wake up?" he placed his hand over mine but didn't open his eyes.
"No, it doesn't have to be," he rolled over to check his phone on the desk next to the bed. I let my hand slide down to where the waistband on his underwear met the hip.
"God, it's only 7:45. Go back to sleep Lucas," he lay back down on the pillow. I wish I had taken his advice and just slept the whole day into Sunday. But that didn't happen.
That day in March, I did something really fucked up. There was no good reason for me to do what I did, but no one found out about what I had done. I thought I would never tell anyone what happened. For some reason though, now seems like as good a time as any.
I managed to sleep until 9. The light was pretty bright now in Charlie's room. He lived on campus since he was still a sophomore. Lucky for us his roommate was away that weekend. For some reason he felt bad that we were always over in my apartment. I thought it was illogical, but I didn't mind some time away from everyone else.
After getting up and gathering my clothes from the floor, I left to go back to my apartment. There was no kitchen or real means of preparing food in Charlie's room. Plus, I had work to do and a few other things to attend to. Earlier that week I secured an internship that summer at NYU for cryptography research. Initially I was shocked because I had only been half-serious when applying, nevertheless it was a great opportunity. However, this meant I needed to find somewhere to live in the city and actually learn as much as I could about cryptography.
I walked back and thought about how mild the weather was this month. Being able to comfortably wear a sweater and jeans felt odd. It should be cold. My walk took me past some of the fields on the lower part of campus where most of the sports team practiced. Normally it would be deserted at this time of year, but given the change in climate there were a few people out on the field.
Temptation came hurtling towards me in the form of an orange lacrosse ball. There was nothing I could do to avoid it. The ball hit me solidly on the left shoulder. I was startled and stunned at the impact as the ball bounced off onto the sidewalk. One of the guys came running up to me, stick still in hand.
"Man, I'm so sorry. I guess that one just got away," the guy said as he picked his ball up from the ground.
"I guess," I started walking home. The whole situation didn't really faze me much. I already resigned to the fact that the universe hated me.
"Hey, wait, your name's Lucas, right?" the guy asked. I stopped walking.
"Yeah, it is," I turned around to reply.
"Cool, I thought it was you. Name's Scott," he extended his hand.
"How'd you think it was me?" I shook his hand. As weird as all of this was it wasn't entirely out of my realm of plausibility.
"We've got geometry together. Some bonehead on the team told me to take it as an easy class. Yeah right, just what I wanted for my last semester," he give a smirk.
"It's not all that bad. Well, maybe if you don't really know math it might be tough," I wasn't sure why I was still talking to Scott.
"Hey, you're smart, do you think maybe you can help me with the homework for this week? I live right down the block, it'll take two seconds," his appeal seemed genuine.
"First you hit me with a ball, and now you want me to tutor you?" I said bluntly.
"Yeah," was his only reply.
"Fine," I said with a sigh. He motioned to some of the other guys that he was leaving and we headed down to his house.
I kind of had more than a hunch as to what was happening at this point. Honestly I didn't really know why I was following Scott back to his house. In retrospect I probably wanted to know what it felt like. What does betrayal feel like? All of it was just part of my fucked up idea of the "human experience". Plus, I sort of liked the idea of being wanted by another person. So that's likely part of why I followed him back.
The other part was that he was the most physically attractive guy who had ever said more than two words to me. Don't we all wonder what it would be like to sleep with the "hot" guy? I understand that it's not all physical, but I would call someone a liar if they said physical attraction had nothing to do with it. I mean, I never said I was in love with the guy.
Before being hit by that ball I didn't know people like Scott existed on my campus. Google "Kayne Lawton" and you get a pretty close representation of this guy. At first the resemblance was uncanny because I knew he looked very familiar. Albeit Scott probably wasn't as big since he didn't play rugby, but he was still solidly built. Of course, none of this justifies backstabbing Chuck.
Scott lived with three other lacrosse players in a house not too far from the fields. One of his roommates was sitting in his boxers eating cereal on a couch. We went up to his room without saying anything. He locked the door once both of us were inside.
"So, there's no geometry work due this week," I said.
"Yeah, and I'm getting a B in the class anyway. That boyfriend of yours, Noah, mentioned you the other day. How you're into jocks, how you can't help yourself," he advanced closer to me.
"Fine, I guess he was my boyfriend at one point, but I'm not what you might think I am," I stated.
"No one's resisted me before, gay or otherwise," he was definitely cocky. I didn't believe the stereotypical lacrosse jock existed, or at least I didn't want to, but here he was.
"So, you're gay?" I was confused.
"Dude no, I've got a girlfriend. But there's things she can't really do to me, or doesn't want to," he smirked.
"I suppose that's appropriate. Listen, I don't need to hear about your exploits and I haven't eaten breakfast. So what do you want?"
"You're really stone-cold. Three summers ago I got fucked real good by this wrestler I knew in high school, I was wasted. But now, every so often my ass gets hungry. Know what I'm saying?"
"No, but I'll fuck you if you like."
We didn't speak another word after that. I knew this kid had some serious issues outside of how he treated other people. Now, I kind of wanted to fuck him just to teach him a lesson. If sex was what he wanted then that's what he was going to get. Granted I couldn't really punish him or make him regret his decision, I wasn't that well-endowed or physically intimidating, but I could make him suffer a little.
This was one of my big problems in college. I always felt I had to prove myself correct. For some reason I always had a desire to make people see things my way. Most of the time it's pointless to try and force an opinion on someone, especially someone so set in their ways.
Scott stripped down to nothing pretty quickly. Admittedly I was jealous of his girlfriend, whoever she was. I really loved a guy who was a bit thicker with muscle and didn't look so tight and dehydrated. His pecs was almost perfectly spherical with nice areolas to match. At this point it was all about scandalous sex, but he was hot.
We moved over to his bed once I had gotten my clothes off. Already I was pretty hard and close to starting to drip precum. Scott was slowly stroking himself as he got into position on the bed. He wanted me to take him from behind and I could care less what we were doing. The sex part was going to be easy, it was getting him to think about what he was doing that was going to be tough.
"You want this jock ass, don't you?" he asked as I grabbed onto his hips to make my entry.
"Shut up," I thought maybe I could hit him where he seemed most vulnerable; his ego.
"What'd you say?" he turned his head to look at me.
"You heard me, I said shut up, bitch," I said it like I meant it. He said I was stone-cold.
"Who're you calling a bitch? I could beat the--" then he yelped in pain as I thrust myself into his ass.
"I told you to shut up. You want stone-cold, you want a good fuck? Your ass hungry? Well eat up, bitch," I surprised myself at some of the stuff I was coming up with. But Cole once told me sex made me talk trash. All Scott could do was moan and whine in reply.
"That's right bitch, I want you to think about your girlfriend. Think about what you do to her. Think about how much I can't resist you now. Next time, you think twice," I shouted at him. All the while I was giving him some slow, rough, thrusts. Then I decided that I wanted to eat breakfast and get on with my day.
I picked up the pace so I was really pounding his ass. He grabbed his sheets in his fists and started wailing. My hips smacked vigorously into his butt cheeks. Lucky for him all the exercise he did probably built up his stamina to endure this. But that's when I noticed he had a raging erection. It looked like his was seconds from an orgasm. Actually, he was seconds from an orgasm. Scott unloaded all over his sheets as I started cumming in his ass. It wasn't the best orgasm I've ever had, but it was satisfying given the circumstances.
Once we both finished, he slumped forward and lay in a puddle of his own semen. I withdrew from his ass and it remained gaping slightly. It was in that moment that I really learned something. There are guys that a large majority of people are attracted to, like Scott for instance. But then there are other guys which some people might find attractive, but a lot of other people do not. These are the guys you should be going after. Not the closeted gay jocks with more confidence issues than there are bricks in the Great Wall.
I was disgusting. Regret and shame were already setting in as I button my jeans and watched Scott lift himself up and peel the sheet off of his abdomen. Our eyes met but neither of us moved our lips. My eyebrows furrowed as I finished tying my shoelaces. Hopefully he got the point, but I figured there was one other thing I could do to seal the deal.
"Scott's gay," I said to the cereal guy before leaving the house.
Now I really just wanted breakfast and to go to sleep. What was I thinking? In that split-second that I let myself seize a moment I didn't quite evaluate the repercussions. But the whole point to my transformation, the mental breakdowns and reconstructions, was to stop analyzing every little detail. I guess I still had some work to do.
The apartment was silent as I poured a bowl of cereal. By Sunday standards it was still early to be waking up. Then again, it was my junior year and there was always work that could be done. I went about my day as if nothing had happened. Was it a requirement that I confess to everyone what I had been doing just an hour prior? I didn't think so. Charlie texted me when I was about done with my cereal.
To think, this morning I was someone totally different. Different in the sense that I was just not acting like my normal self. I was craving sex and acting like a real jerk. Then again, I suppose most guys my age acted that way. But that was no excuse for my own behavior because I never lumped myself in with "other guys". I was supposed to be unique and above everyone else who exhibited those mortal flaws that are all too apparent. Lust, jealousy, greed, vanity. College could be a toxic sludge dripping with glossy bubblegum and Abercrombie cologne if viewed through the right lens. Why did I ever take my hazmat suit off?
Now I was mad at myself. Maybe I should have been disappointed and not angry. At least I had learned something from the whole experience. I texted Charlie that I wanted him to stay over at my place tonight if he wasn't going to be swamped. Of course, he obliged. I could have betrayed any other sleazy guy on this campus, but for some reason I chose Charles Westfield. He was probably one of the few worthwhile kids on campus who got no attention from anyone else, save for his sister. There was no way I could let him find out, and I absolutely could never do anything which might hurt him again. I was pretty certain that Scott wouldn't tell Charlie anything; they didn't even know each other.
Chuck arrived just as I was washing my dishes from dinner. Kyle and Nate were playing checkers on the floor by the TV and Lex was out somewhere. My hands were wet and I was dreading having to touch a wet tomato chunk in the sink.
"Hey, how's everything?" Charlie asked after taking off his jacket, he was wearing a t-shirt.
"Fine. Can you do me a favor and get that tomato chunk in the sink?" I asked while drying off my hands.
"Uhh, sure I guess," he complied and disposed of the red article.
"Wet food is so gross," I shuddered thinking of it.
"You're such a weirdo," he ruffled my hair before giving me a kiss. Immediately I was reminded of two things. First, I should probably get a haircut soon. Second, I loved Charlie Westfield. My response was a shrug and another kiss.
"So, what're you doing this summer?" we sat at the kitchen table. I had never really asked him about what his plans might be for anything outside of the range of two weeks.
"Hmm, I'm not so sure really. Probably just get a job at home. Do you have anything planned?"
"I'll be in New York City. Where do you live exactly?"
"Syracuse. So we might be kinda close," he smiled. God dammit.
Some small part of me knew that I was bad for Chuck Westfield. I really loved him and that was the hard part. That was the part that was clouding my vision and hiding the truth behind a myriad of memories of the good times. Those times when we meshed perfectly. But I knew I couldn't make anything work out well over a distance of more than 30 miles. I would let myself become enveloped in my work or some other aspect of my life if we couldn't be together at least every other day. I'm a Mastermind.
But I couldn't just break things off now at the kitchen counter. I didn't want to break things off. Maybe we still had a chance. It wasn't just the distance that made things difficult. I genuinely could not picture myself existing in this relationship outside of school. It wasn't organic, it was a product of our environment. A bizarre set of occurrences and conditions yielded one interaction which led to another and then a kiss which manifested a relationship. All of it was almost scientific in nature.
For the time being I could continue to live in this fantasy. I hoped I wasn't leading Chuck down a rabbit hole in which he thought we had a real future together. We were still so young for chrissakes. If I was going to be the end all be all then I would feel worse than I already did. But I dealt with all these feelings in the same way I always did. Extreme repression and the creation of illusions in my head. It was kind of like the "Speed Force". If too much of it builds up, then something bad happens like sending the Mayan civilization to exist outside of the timeline. In my case things were never that dramatic.
"Yeah I guess we might be. I still have to find a place to stay," I replied.
"Try looking for somewhere to sublet. I bet someone is looking to move out in May or June. Just a thought," he offered.
"Yeah that's true. Hey, would you help me with something?" I asked. His idea of a sublet seemed like a good opportunity to check into as well.
"Sure, what'd you need?"
"Help me shave my head?"
"Wait, like bald?"
"No, no, not like bald, but close I guess. It'll save me a trip to the barber," I explained.
"I mean if you're going to do it anyway, why not?" he smiled again. For some reason I liked having my hair very short. It made me feel slightly submissive. Not that I was into any of that sort of thing. I got up from the table to ask Kyle where he kept his clippers. I wasn't sure why he both had a device for facial hair and one for regular hair. He was letting his facial hair grow in lately. It was kinda hot.
"I think they're in my top drawer in a box, you can just go grab them if you want," I couldn't tell if he was winning at checkers.
Indeed Kyle's clippers were in a box in the top drawer near his desk. I brought them into the bathroom along with the trash bin from my room; Chuck followed close behind.
"Alright so I've attached a number one on here, just get all the hair," I turned the clippers on and that familiar buzz filled the bathroom. Charlie took the clippers and position my head over the garbage can as best I could.
He shaved away my hair diligently making sure to make everything even. I watched as the clumps fell into the trash bin. A few strands landed on the tile, but those would be easy enough to clean up. The whole process took around fifteen minutes, some difficult came in switching from the #1 to 00 in order to shave the back of my neck properly. Soon enough though my hair was 1/8th of an inch on my head. It was very short. There were only two other times in my life when I had cut my hair this short, and those were years ago. I rubbed my hand along my head to feel the stubble prickle against my palm.
"I'm going to shower and get off some of the extra hair," I told Charlie.
"Sure. I'll see what Kyle and Nate are doing," he left me alone in the bathroom.
I closed the door and stared in the mirror. My hair was short and it made my eyes seem more intense. I wasn't sure if I liked who I was becoming. I knew though that it was good that I was learning more about myself. Trying to force myself to adapt another personality was out of the question. I had to deal with who I was, not who I wanted to be.
My shower was quick as I scrubbed any stray hairs off my head. The worst thing to experience after a haircut is the itch from hair falling down into my shirt. I dried off and changed into the same clothes from before. I avoided looking into the mirror again before leaving.
Kyle and Nathan had moved on from their game of checkers. They were making something in the kitchen. Charlie was left to watch TV. It seems humans are almost never satisfied with what they have. I know there are people in perfectly good relationships and would never think otherwise. But I found myself slightly jealous of what Kyle and Nate had. I couldn't help but think that people always seem to want to "do better". Then I realized it was stupid to invest any resources in jealousy. Plus, I found Charlie hotter than Nate.
"All clean?" Chuck asked once I sat next to him on the couch.
"Yup," I leaned my head on his shoulder.
"Your hair is definitely short," he kissed me somewhere on my head.
"What color is your facial hair?" I asked, it was sort of a random question.
"Uhh, it's basically like my hair color. Maybe a little darker, I guess."
"You should let it grow in a little."
"Well I don't want like a beard or anything."
"No, no, not a beard but like some facial hair, y'know," I clarified and then added, "I think it'd be hot," with a whisper.
"I guess I could try it then," he smiled.
"Hey, since we didn't get to do anything this morning," I put my hand on his thigh.
"Way ahead of you," he got up off the couch and I followed him over into my room.
"Can we just do normal sex now, maybe try something else a bit later if you want?"
"Sure, last night was kind of intense anyway," Charlie replied before kissing me and slipping his hands under my shirt.
"Yeah, but I actually kinda liked it," he slid my shirt off.
"So maybe you're starting to warm up to some of the less traditional things then," he quickly dropped my pants after my shirt had hit the ground.
"Maybe," I replied just before he grabbed my crotch. I was getting hard thinking back to last night and seeing Chuck just surrender himself to being used.
My underwear didn't hold up very long as he took me in his mouth. Clearly he had some vision for how this encounter would proceed, and I didn't really mind. Charlie was really deft at giving a blowjob. The way he worked his tongue and effortlessly took all of me was something to marvel at.
"Hey stud, I'm not sure what your plans are, but they might end early if you keep it up," I whispered. There was only so much I could hold out for. But he didn't quit and after about another minute I came down his throat.
"Don't worry, that's part of the plan. Now get on the bed," he got up off his knees.
I followed his order and got up on my bed. He stripped down but didn't hop up to join me. Charlie was painfully hard at this point and already my own dick was stirring at the sight of his. He instructed me to lay on my back and I did so. I felt him take hold of my calves and then he situated my legs so that they were up over his shoulders. My ass awaited his entry and I braced myself for what I was sure to be an intense fuck.
Indeed it was intense as I hung from his shoulders and he thrust himself into me. The difference in elevation lent itself to a new angle of entry. Charlie really got deep inside of me, and it felt fucking amazing. He was hitting places I had never felt before and all of the sensations were incredible. It was also hot to watch the intensity in his eyes and the way his stomach and chest tensed with each forceful push.
"Jack yourself off," he grunted between thrusts. I willingly obeyed the command and starting pumping my cock with force and speed. Unsurprisingly, the sight of my masturbation turned him on more and only encouraged him to intensify what he was doing to my ass.
A few more minutes passed and Chuck was building up a good sweat as he continued pounding me. I came on my stomach and part of my chest. That must've sent him over the edge because I felt him release inside of me. His orgasm never seemed to end. But once it subsided he left my legs slide back down onto the bed. He withdrew from me and licked my cum off my body before lying next to me.
"I guess that was kinda normal," I whispered, he only smiled at me and rubbed my head.
I hope you don't mind the slight transition in writing style and time skip. There will probably be more time skips in the chapters to come along with a transition from a full immersion in a first person recollection to more of a retrospective. There are a lot of things happening in my life right now which I think would be very worth reading about. I'd like to house everything under the same story, even if it occurs after graduation.
Feel free to dump your thoughts at lbrimstone00@gmail.com