Never

DISCLAIMER: This story is based in truth. Some events/persons have been altered for the purpose of the story. There may be scenes of unsafe practices which are not endorsed by this author. All other usual warnings and precautions should be considered here. Feel free to write with any comments, corrections, etc. Think of this as a Gedankenexperiment. And remember to donate to Nifty to support all of these great stories.

Charlie Westfield. His name just made me feel alive again. It was like getting the engine in an old beat up car to turn over for the first time in years. I felt satisfied and almost like I had a reason to get back to living my life. Granted I still had constant bouts of depression where my thoughts decayed into single syllable words full of evil. Kill. Pain. Hurt. Burn.

How did I come to find myself in this situation all over again? I went to the library that afternoon to do math homework and repress thoughts about Cole. Meeting Tracy was certainly unexpected, and meeting Chuck seemed highly improbable. Yet it happened. Then he showed up at my door when I felt near my absolute lowest and it was like something out of a movie. All of it was just too perfect. Too fucking perfect.

The way everything was happening seemed scripted. Distressed and angsty youth flees into the dark recesses of his mind only to be rescued by old fashioned and strapping young lad. It was sappy and gay, but I couldn't get enough of it. I wanted every second of this weird drama that you could only find on daytime television. The one question I kept asking myself was, do I like Charles, or do I like the idea of being with Charles?

Regardless, here we were just after he showed up at my door. Chuck and I went down to that bizarre hamburger joint, Ray Harvey's. Sure enough the walls were as luminescent as ever and the food was just as I remembered. As I sat there across from him I couldn't help but recount the events that played out here with Cole. How hungry he was after sex, how cute he looked with ketchup on his chin, his smile, his laugh. Fuck, why did it seem like I was always out to sabotage myself?

"You not doin' too hot Lu?" Charlie asked when we sat down to wait for our food.

"Hey, I'm good. Just having a hard time digesting a lot of this stuff," I tried not to let on how troubled I felt. The neon seemed to radiate harsh light.

"And we haven't even eaten yet," he smirked.

"Clever."

"Well if this is too much for you we can do it another time. It's just, I can't stop thinking about you. Like right now, I'm looking at you but I'm still just thinking about you. I feel like a stupid girl."

"What are you thinking about?"

"Heh, I'd rather not say here. Maybe later," he looked a little embarrassed.

"Oh, those sorts of thoughts. Here I thought you were a decent man," I knew from the start what he was thinking, but I didn't want to miss out on the fun.

"Please Lu, I'm sorry---"

"No, Chuck its fine. I have those thoughts about you too," he smiled with reassurance at that.

In that moment I knew that Chuck and I were going to be more than just friends. The way I was able to just dispel his doubts with a few words. We barely knew each other and he had already invested so much trust in me. It was weird how he proved to be such an opposite from Cole. Before, I had to deal with someone who had almost no trust in me, and now Charlie will follow my lead faithfully. In fact, the more I came to know Chuck, the more I picked up on the differences between him and Cole.

Charles Westfield was very different from Cole. Chuck had a calm demeanor and wasn't afraid to just say what he was thinking. He was very witty too. I didn't know if we shared many of the same interests like Cole and I did. The two of them did play sports recreationally but Charlie played soccer. Physically they were pretty different too. Chuck was 6'2" and had broader shoulders. His chest was better defined and easy to make out under his shirt. Plus there were the freckles and red hair. They were pretty different.

I hated the fact that I compared Charlie to Cole. They were different people and I shouldn't be building my evaluation of Charles on my past experiences with Cole. The two of them had never even met. I was such a fucking waste. This poor kid was sitting in front of me, eating a hamburger and talking about the merits of Democratic intervention in the Middle East, while I judged everything he did. For once in my life, couldn't I just think of someone other than myself? That was when I resolved that I could. The only thing stopping me from loving Chuck Westfield, like really fucking loving him, was myself.

"Hey, you sure you're good?" Charlie was reaching across the table and waving a hand in front of my face.

"Oh me? Well yeah, great. I suppose that we're off to an excellent start. At least at this point you know I'm fucked up and you won't have to be disappointed down the road. But hey, this is just who I am," I fished around in my pile of fries for one which I deemed suitable for eating.

"Uh sure. Maybe there's a better place to sort all of this out," he was confused, but I hadn't lost him.

"Oh definitely. Let me just finish my fries. I think I know a place we can go," and I did finish my fries while Chuck sat in silence.

After, we got up to dispose of our trash, and I racked my mind for a place to go. The temperature outside made taking a walk rather undesirable. Where could we go on a Monday night that would be virtually empty? Then it hit.

Our schools science building was empty on Monday nights. In fact, it was empty almost every night when there wasn't a test on the horizon. By some strange twist of fate I was able to use my ID to scan into the building despite my obvious lack of a science major. I discovered this my sophomore year on the way back from a party when looking for a shortcut home. Inside, there wasn't anyone to be found, not even the custodian. My favorite part of the empty building was definitely the fossil atrium. The skeleton of a plesiosaur hung from the ceiling and there were plenty of tables to sit at.

"So what's the deal Lucas? I knew you were a little messed up, but you're not a psychopath, right?" Charlie ran his hand back through his hair and fixed his eyes on mine.

"No, no, I'm not a psychopath. I guess it's more that I like to voice my thoughts even though it generally isn't appropriate. I'm still evaluating a bunch of the relationships I've been in recently. Life moves fast, y'know?" I hoped that somehow that could reassure him.

"Yeah well if you were ever involved with Noah that'd sure be a shit ton to evaluate," he smiled and that comforted me a little.

"Right, and I don't want to mess anything up," I started, "Charlie, you've got to be the most special person I've ever met."

"Lu, when I saw you for the first time I thought, if any guy can cry by himself in the library then he's worth more than anyone gives him credit for," he really was serious, something changed within his eyes. The skeleton above us creaked slightly as the heating unit kicked on.

"And anyone who's willing to give me credit is definitely someone I can't let walk away," I didn't quite understand what was happening but I could tell we were really connecting. Apparently Charlie could tell too because he leaned closer over the table.

I stood up out of my chair and leaned to meet him. We kissed there, underneath the swaying bones of a dinosaur long gone in an empty academic building. This was more than I ever could have asked for. A relationship with Chuck didn't mean a raw and gritty psychological roller coaster like I had with Cole. It meant being cared for and daring to show it. I put my hand behind his neck as our kiss lingered. Then he pulled back, but our foreheads remained touching. Both of us had done this before yet I felt a difference this time, and I think Charlie felt it too. We both deserved to be loved and maybe we just never knew it until now.

"That was nice," he sat back in his seat.

"It just felt right."

"I was leaning forward to tell you there was an eyelash on your face. But this was better," he smiled. Now I felt like an idiot. I didn't want to seem desperate or force Charlie into something he didn't want. Then again there was no sign that he was opposed to any of this.

"Oh, well sorry if that was too sudden then. I just thought--"

"It was perfect. Just leave it at that," I couldn't take my eyes off that smile. Then there was his hair which I found astounding for some reason. I think it was the color which really fascinated me.

"How did you get your hair that color?" I asked. The question was stupid and I knew it, but I felt his hair deserved some merit.

"I think I was born with this color. I was considering maybe changing it though. For some reason people think it's not as attractive as like blonde hair or something. My sister dyed her hair two years ago," he seemed almost ashamed of his hair color.

"Listen to me. Don't you ever change anything about yourself. Especially that fucking awesome hair you've got. Most people barely know what's good for themselves, let alone someone else. Trust me," that last part might have resonated with me more than I had intended. Still, I was serious about his hair.

"Wow, I didn't know you liked it so much."

"Yeah. I like your hair, your smile, and those freckles. I like you Chuck, like, really like you," I replied.

"I guess I feel the same. I mean you're kind of ugly and all, but hey at least you're interesting," he had a really wide grin for that comment.

"I'm an example of what happens when two ugly people have sex then. But at least you find me interesting. What other purpose would I serve if I couldn't provide you with some entertainment? I mean I have no capacity for independence and just crave the gratification that comes with satisfying an attractive and arrogant young gentleman, such as yourself," I tried as hard as I could to maintain my composure.

"When you put it like that I guess it isn't as funny. I was only trying to make a joke. Of course I think you're pretty cute," he sounded genuinely sorry. I would have to get used to someone who wasn't quite accustomed to sarcasm and having their emotions toyed with.

"HA! I was only joking too. Of course I knew you were kidding. I'm not like some succubus who preys on overly confident college jocks," I couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Yeah, I work out," he smirked.

"That affirms the overly confident part, I guess."

"I'm not like that, trust me. Some of the soccer guys are like that, and I hate it. It's not all physical, y'know?" There was something in the way he delivered that statement which made me wonder if he'd gotten burned by one of those "types" before.

"Why do you hang around them then if you hate it?"

"Well, I guess they're my friends. I roomed with Tom my freshman year, he's on the team. Just some of the other guys are too full of themselves. Little shits."

"If you're ever looking for friends who aren't little shits there's always me, plus my roommates are above average humans. You should meet them sometime. Also, what year are you here?" Up until this point there was little I actually knew about Charlie. I didn't know how old he was, what he was studying at school, where his hometown was; none of that stupid nice to meet you college stuff.

"Sophomore. I'd be good with meeting your roommates sometime, but it's kind of late now. Promised Tracy I'd help her with intro physics. How about this Friday?"

"You're gonna make me wait until Friday?" I was teasing, but then I remembered he probably took it seriously. Trying not to say the first thing that came into my head was going to be difficult. "Actually Friday sounds great, show up whenever you like. We'll probably just be drinking and watching some sporting event."

"Sure, can I get your number before we go? In case something comes up," I had no issue exchanging numbers. Afterwards we got up and parted ways just outside of the building. There was no second kiss to be had, but that was fine by me for now.

That week I experienced the all too familiar anxiety I had when Cole and I first started dating. I didn't want to compare the feeling and yet again draw a parallel between Charlie and Cole, but there was no other way to describe it. My classes seemed like they didn't matter and I did my homework without investing much extra time. On the bright side of things I was no longer feeling like a waste of existence nor did I have the urge to imagine everyone else dead. I knew that the feeling could return at any time because it was very easy for me to slip right back into that mindset after only having left it so recently. But for now things were looking up.

Kyle and Lex noticed the change in my behavior by Wednesday. Having lived together for quite some time we were able to pick up on the slight changes in each other's moods. I anticipated having to endure some amount of ridicule for potentially having a new boyfriend. Or maybe they would question why I didn't think Cole was still my boyfriend. Either way I wasn't particularly looking forward to it. I had arrived back in the apartment that afternoon to find Lex doing homework in the kitchen and Kyle watching TV. Nathan was also over.

"So Lucas, I think we've decided that you're no longer in murder mode. Can you confirm this?" Lex asked once he heard the door close behind me.

"How'd you know it was me without looking?" I took off my boots and coat. For February, the weather was turning rather mild. That January there was a day when it nearly reached seventy degrees.

"Who else would just walk on in here uninvited?"

"I don't know. Maybe Alyssa."

"Please, I'd know if Alyssa was coming over here. Now answer the question. Do you still want to kill everyone or is your new boyfriend making everything better?" Lex somehow always managed to figure things out very quickly. This was one of the many reasons I was friends with him. There were few people who I've ever met who can progress through conversations without even finishing whole thoughts.

"He's not my boyfriend. But keep it up and maybe I'll revert to murder mode just for you," I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water and glare at Lex.

"Keep it down tiger, I'm trying to watch the wheel," Kyle called from the couch.

"The what?" I asked.

"Tiger?" Lex chimed in.

"Yeah the wheel. You know, wheel of fortune. Nate knows about it," Kyle remained glued to his show.

"Personally I think Jeopardy's better. But that's on after," Nate responded.

"Well whatever. I guess the moral of the story is that Lucas doesn't want to kill himself for the time being. So, when do we meet your new boyfriend?" Lex kept his eyes on his textbook but couldn't help smirking.

"You meet Charlie, or Chuck, on Friday," I tried not to fall into Lex's boyfriend trap.

"Oh excellent, that's when we're having our party! Dude it's like you knew. It's like we told you but you were too busy staring at yourself in a mirror. Oh wait, that's what happened," Lex looked up from his book.

"Fuck," was all I could get out.

"Wait, you're dating a Chuck and a Charlie?" Kyle asked.

"No, Chuck is another name for Charles. So is Charlie," Nathan stated patiently. I had to give Nathan credit for putting up with Kyle at times. Sometimes he required a lot of patience. Fortunately Nathan didn't seem to mind; he was the one good thing that came out of my bout of dominating depression.

I couldn't believe I had forgotten there was going to be a party here on Friday. Actually I hadn't forgotten, I had just never heard it in the first place. Now I definitely needed to tell Charlie that we would be doing more than was originally planned. I composed a text to send his way.

Me: Hey. Just wanted to let you know that Friday you should dress like you might run into someone you know, not like you don't already.

Chuck: Umm sure. Are you planning to go somewhere?

Me: Well not exactly, but who knows. There might kind of be a party happening that I forgot about.

Chuck: Oh, alright. I can come another time then.

Me: Oh I thought you'd like a party.

Chuck: Yeah sure.

Me: Then come to this one.

Chuck: I will.

Me: You can still come over early if you want. Hang out and such.

That was the end of our conversation. I didn't find out until Friday if he would come over early or not. In fact, I hadn't heard from Charlie at all up until he arrived at my door later in the week. The one thing I heard plenty about was the party from Kyle and Lex.

"Dude, we should make punch," Kyle mused while doing some reading on Thursday afternoon. We all finished up class earlier than we had last semester. Plus, Lex and I had off on Fridays.

"Oh totally! Let's make it crazy. This party is going to be great," Lex got up to get his laptop from his room.

"How great is it going to be if everyone is stuck in our apartment?" I asked.

"Don't be such a downer. It'll just be fine if we move some stuff around. Think of the potential," Kyle replied.

"Yeah, quit being a bitch Lucas," Lex returned with his laptop.

Admittedly our apartment did have a good amount of space if we moved the coffee table out of the living room. I guess it could work. In reality I was nervous about Kyle and Lex throwing a party. There was no way of telling who might show up or what might get broken. I liked getting drunk as much as the next guy, but hosting such an event just added a little element of concern.

By the end of that brainstorm session our party had taken full form, and was spread via social media with force. In the end I think "Killer Chiller" , as it was called, had sixty people invited. Lex only anticipated twenty people to show up. I prayed he was right. They advertised "Chiller Punch" and drinking games on their event. Tequila shots were almost added in as well, but I fought against those. I hate tequila. Now all we had to do was gather and assemble the supplies for the event. On some level I thought that Lex and Kyle hoped this party might elevate their social standing. In what way, I wasn't sure.

Friday was filled with running various errands; most of which involved alcohol. I had my beer at home which I had finally moved from the box into the fridge. Once Kyle finished class at noon we were out the door. Really, I was just along for the ride. If I had thought of it earlier I would have documented the whole process as some sort of private social commentary. But at the time I was merely an observer, in a few instances a critic, to the grand unfurling of events leading up to "Killer Chiller" .

3:03 PM:

We arrived back from our various errands. It was weird to walk into the apartment when it was empty. Usually Kyle or Lex stuck up conversation as soon as I stepped over the threshold. Granted, they were still jabbering on, but this time they were behind me. I tried to capture this feeling as I knew tonight would be nothing like it.

Once everyone and everything made its way into the apartment, Kyle and Lex got to preparing for the party. I was actually impressed by their punch making process. It involved real fruit. The punch itself was merely some powdered fruit drink, but there was actual produce floating around inside. And vodka, quite a substantial amount of vodka. Kyle tasted it and approved.

3:46 PM:

The furniture was moved into Kyle's room. Well it was just our coffee table and a lamp. Admittedly Lex was right, the room did have more space than I had originally thought. Of course I could never let him know that. To utter those words to Lex meant piercing my dignity through its metaphorical heart. He could tell though that I had come to grips with being wrong about the situation.

"Told you it was bigger," he said before heading into the kitchen to grab a beer. I didn't offer anything as a reply. The fact that he could tell was enough.

With the furniture in order and the punch in the fridge it seemed like everything was shaping up nicely. At least as nice as things could be shaping up for a college party of an unpredictable size. I knew this wasn't going to be on the scale of a massive frat party, but it could still be substantial. For the time being I popped open one of my beers and took a seat to watch the afternoon news.

4:15 PM:

There was an unexpected knock at the door. Kyle hopped up to answer it, so I expected it to be Nathan. I still didn't know what the relationship between Kyle and Nathan was. Had they kissed? Had they done more? Did they want to? Of course it was none of my business and I had Charlie to tend to. Plus he was standing at the door.

It was Charlie. That was shocking.

"I said early, but I mean," I was a little surprised to say the least.

"Sorry if it's too early," Charlie still hadn't stepped inside.

"Hey the party started when I woke up this morning. Come on in Chuck, or Charlie," Lex gave me a look. I knew that look, it meant he wanted to make things interesting for himself. Immediately I texted Alyssa to inform her that the "Killer Chiller" was in fact getting to Lex's head. She seemed to understand.

"Yeah either's fine," Charlie crossed into the apartment and closed the door.

"I'm Kyle, or, umm, Kyle," I couldn't help but laugh at Kyle's attempt to try, and fail, at coming up with another name for himself. At least Chuck was getting the real experience.

"I'm Lex, good to finally get to meet you," Lex got up to offer a handshake.

Chuck took off his jacket and boots. He did in fact dress like he might run into someone he knew. A nice grey oxford button down shirt and some dark jeans with the bottoms cuffed. I also noticed he was wearing glasses with square frames a little on the thicker side. He was also carrying a paper bag.

"Brought some stuff to cook for us for dinner," Chuck mentioned once he saw me looking at the bag.

"Sounds great," Lex quickly spit out before I could offer an answer.

"Well," Charlie felt uncomfortable, probably because he thought Lex was serious.

"Fuck off Lex, you don't have to cook for him. I really appreciate it though," I gave Lex a glare and got up to go into the kitchen with Charlie. But just as I passed the door I heard a knock and grinned at Lex.

"You didn't!" He jumped up from the couch and I quickly opened the door. Alyssa was on the other side and just in time to see Lex get me in a headlock.

"So it is true. All this debauchery is really fucking with you," Alyssa stepped in and hung her coat up on a hook.

"Oh Lex how'd you know I love it when you bury me in your armpit," I tried to make it sounds as creepy and sexual as possible.

"Quit it you little tattle-tale pervert," he shoved me towards the kitchen.

"Want me to deck `em?" Charlie offered.

"No. Sometimes I swear you're straight outta the 50's. Who says deck anymore?" I went over to where he had set the bag on the table.

"I guess I do," he shrugged.

My inspection of the ingredients yielded no immediate clues as to what Chuck was preparing for us to eat. Whatever, I was confident that he would make something good. My standards weren't very high to begin with. I was a decent cook, but nothing spectacular. Maybe he'd surprise me. Charlie got to work preheating the oven as I sat and sipped my beer at the kitchen table. Within a few minutes of his unpacking and preparation I began to formulate an idea of what he might be making. It appeared as if some sort of teriyaki sauce was being made, there was some broccoli, definitely some rice, and what I thought was fish. The kitchen smelled great.

It turned out that Charlie had some culinary skills. The meal was very good, to say the least. I offered to clean up the plates and cookware afterwards as a small token of my appreciation. Scrubbing teriyaki off of a pan took more effort than I had thought originally.

5:45 PM:

I started on my third beer and offered one to Chuck. I wasn't keeping track of how much Kyle and Lex were drinking, but they didn't seem to be on a pace much different than my own. This was the first night I had ever started drinking before six. Eating dinner mitigated some of the effects my first two beers were starting to have on me. It was like landing on a chute in "Chutes and Ladders" . Since Charlie was underage I figured he hadn't brought any of his own alcohol. That wasn't the case. Later that night I would learn that he'd brought a flask of whiskey with him.

We sat around with the other guys and Alyssa talking about nothing in particular. Kyle and Charlie seemed to be getting along well, and Lex was trying to give him a hard time as usual, but Alyssa sought to remedy that situation quickly. "Killer Chiller" wasn't scheduled to begin until 9:30 so we still had plenty of time to kill.

7:45 PM:

Once I started on my fifth beer, everyone had eaten dinner and Nathan showed up. Charlie helped himself to his fourth beer and I realized I would be running out soon. I didn't particularly mind though. At this point I felt really calm and wanted to smile at everything anyone said. I resigned not to start on my next beer until at least three more guests showed up. Lex suggested playing a drinking game. Of course I said I didn't want to because I strongly disliked those sorts of things. That earned me a punch on the shoulder. Everyone else played some sort of card game while I stared aimlessly into my glass of beer. From time to time I glanced up to see what a particular outburst was about. Everything felt like it was moving so slowly.

I did notice that Nathan and Kyle looked to be getting along as more than friends. For starters they were practically sitting on top of each other and Kyle was always laughing at everything Nathan said. Even the things which were clearly mundane. It made me smile knowing that they had a chance at being happy, maybe even falling in love. Unless of course they already had.

"Hey buckaroo, don't fall in there," Charlie roughed up my hair as the crowd dispersed from the pile of cards on the floor.

"Yeah. Who won?" I asked in a rather dull tone.

"No one really wins at games. But you don't play so I guess you wouldn't know. You doin' alright?" he asked.

"Hmm? Oh yeah, I'm doing good. Borderline great actually," I snapped myself back into a more alert state of mind.

9:45 PM:

Twelve more guests had arrived. The heightened atmosphere really jolted me awake. Suddenly there was noise and laughter, and the beginnings of a mess in the kitchen. My sock stuck to the tile floor as I walked over to the fridge. A girl in a billowy black top and tight jeans smiled at me. I waved back at her.

"My name's Diana," she said. I couldn't be less interested, but I felt compelled to hold a conversation.

"Is your last name Prince by any chance?" I asked.

"No, it's DePalo. How do you know Lex?" I figured this must be one of Lex's previous sexual encounters.

"I live here," I replied and walked back inside to find Charlie.

He was chatting with some people I didn't know. Then again I didn't know most people who were pouring into the apartment. Despite that fact I took another sip of my better and continued forward.

"How's it going?" Charlie asked in a slightly raised voice. Lex had hooked up some sort of speaker system at this point. I wasn't much of a fan of the music, but I didn't care.

"Good I suppose. Some girl tried talking to me in the kitchen. She wasn't very interesting. Who are you interfacing with?" I offered my reply.

"This is Marcus and Colin. Apparently they know you from somewhere," Charlie looked slightly confused.

"Really? I don't remember Marcus or Colin. Do you have class with me?" I asked.

"No we're on the swim team," one of them replied, I think it was Marcus.

"Oh ok then you do probably know me, but I've never met you," I walked away to open a window.

At parties I was never one to actively socialize. Really I never felt a need to do so. If I met new people while I was drunk then did I ever really meet them? There was no point in associating myself with people if I only ever saw them for purposes of consuming alcohol. Sometimes I did run into someone I actually wanted to talk to because I had classes with them or had met them before. But I didn't want to meet someone for the first time at a party.

11:00 PM:

"You're not having a great time, are you?" Charlie asked. I was sitting on one of the window sills and looking outside at the flurries drifting down to the ground below.

"I'm having a great time," I didn't even conceal the disappointment in my voice. I took another sip of my beer and finished it. I think that was my seventh one. Maybe I'd had some of the punch too.

"You wanna drink outside?" he asked and put his hand on my shoulder.

"With you, I'll do anything," I was willing to say whatever came into my head at that point.

I grabbed my last beer before putting on my boots to head outside. The night was cold and I could feel the air condensing with each breath I exhaled.

"Why didn't you get a jacket?" Charlie asked once he arrived outside. It was true, I hadn't brought a jacket.

"It's not important. I didn't really feel like it. We just do whatever, y'know?" I wasn't sure that made any sense.

"Come here," Chuck unzipped the front of his coat and wrapped it and his arms around me in an attempt to keep me warm.

"You know they can see us?" I maneuvered my arm to drink my beer.

"Fuck `em."

"You could probably deck them anyway," I added.

"Well maybe fuck you too then," he laughed.

"Sure," I laughed too.

12:16 AM:

Charlie and I headed back inside once most people started leaving to go to the bars. I told Lex and Kyle to go on ahead because I wanted to clean up a little. That earned me two distinct punches on the arm. Luckily they were distracted by some herd of drunken individuals stumbling out of our building. I had confidence that my roommates would have a good time.

"Are we really going to clean up?" Charlie asked.

"Yes. I can't stand all of," I motioned to our living area, "this."

"But," he moved closer and then whispered, "I had something else on my mind." He gently nibbled on my earlobe.

"Hmm maybe ten minutes of cleaning then you get to pick the activity," I moved to start throwing away some of the sticky empty cups.

We did manage to get the place in decent shape despite many grabs at my ass. This is the point when I learned Charlie had been drinking whiskey as well. Hindsight is 20/20 I suppose. But by no means did I mind having this horny young individual in my care. After everything was to my standards for the time being I led him to my room.

"Hold up, I'm going to use the bathroom first," he broke away from my hand and went off to take care of his business. I went and did the same once he'd returned.

Finally we were in my room. I was definitely nervous. Sure, I'd had sex before, but this time felt different. I really desperately cared for Chuck and wanted to give him everything he deserved and more, and I wasn't sure if I could. He grinned at me. I moved and kissed him. He reciprocated with an increased intensity. The kiss turned into a passionate couple of minutes of making out. Charlie kissed my neck before pulling my pants down to my ankles.

"Your ass is cold," he had one hand on my butt and another on my hip.

"I wonder if yours is too," I replied and removed his jeans. He was wearing a pair of maroon trunks. I slid one of my hands into the back of his underwear. "Nope, it's pretty hot. You've got yourself one hot ass."

"Mmm," was all he could offer as a reply.

"Maybe you've got some other hot things around here too," I used my other hand to begin unbuttoning his shirt. It was a little difficult but I couldn't stop rubbing his butt, and occasionally sliding a finger in his crack.

In my opinion, Charlie was beyond hot. I slid his shirt off and was totally infatuated with his body. As if I wasn't turned on already. Charlie had some powerful pecs and arms sinewed with muscle. There was no rippling six pack like Noah had, but his waist had a wonderful taper. He had some body hair across his chest and on his some on his lower back which was light brown in color. As I continued to gaze upon his body and rub part of his chest I remembered something he'd said earlier that week. "It's not all physical, y'know?"

"Oh Charlie, you're just as amazing on the outside as you are on the inside," I whispered and kissed his neck.

"That's the nicest thing anyone with their hand in my ass has ever said," he kissed my lips. I could feel the connection we shared. As we kissed, I subtly began moving my hand to start easing his trunks down slowly.

"Mmm, Lucas, there's something I should say," Charlie broke away and put a hand on my shoulder. I was still wearing my sweater. "I don't think we should have sex tonight."

"Oh. Am I doing something wrong?" How could I have gone and screwed things up already?

"No, no, I'm horny as fuck right now. Christ. It's just, well, let's say I can get a little weird sometimes. It'd only be fair for you to know how weird first before we did anything else," he admitted. I was a little confused as to what he meant. I hoped he wasn't into whips or any of that stuff. Pain was not really a turn on for me.

"That's fair then," I took my hand out of his underwear which was sitting below his hips.

"Thanks. But that doesn't mean you aren't going to get me off now," he grinned at me. Chuck moved and slid my sweater up above my head and onto the floor. "Wow Lucas, you're pretty hot yourself. Even for a nihilistic little monster."

"Hey buddy, watch it or I'll deck you," I laughed before sliding my hand back into his underwear, this time in the front.

His dick felt right in my hand. It also felt pretty big. I took my other hand to slide his underwear down to his ankles. The pubic hair matched the color of his body hair. Charlie's cock definitely rivaled the size of Noah's, but it wasn't quite as big. After stroking it for a few moments I knew right away that I wanted to suck him off. No, I needed to suck him off.

I got down on my knees and squared up with his dick as it drifted up and down in space. My tongue gently ran along the underside and briefly swirled around on the head. Then I started off by just sucking on the head. Chuck was definitely enjoying this. He emitted a variety of squeals and grunts as he held back the urge to plunge himself deep into my throat. I took the initiative to do that myself. At first I regretted taking him in so quickly given how he was bigger than Cole. After a few seconds I managed to get accustomed enough where I could give him a proper blowjob. I only almost gagged once, but I didn't care because I could tell how much he was enjoying all of this. Maybe I was that succubus after all.

"Ugh, Lucas, why couldn't I have met you sooner," Charlie let out a pretty wild moan. I could feel his precum dripping into my throat and braced myself for what was sure to be a big load.

Indeed it was a big load, and I couldn't swallow it all. When the amount was unsustainable I released his dick and he finished shooting onto my neck and chin. He knelt down, almost collapsing, next to me and licked his cum off of my face before kissing me. Tasting his cum was wonderful. Everything was pure amazement at this point.

"Man, you've got a serious hard on there," Chuck grabbed my underwear around my dick. It was sticky from the precum I was leaking.

"Why don't you do something about it then?" I poked him in the chest.

"No. I think this should be your first lesson in weird sex," he replied.

"What am I supposed to do then?" I asked.

"Jack yourself off. C'mon, it'll be so hot to watch. I'll suck you off at the end," he almost pleaded for me to do it.

"Alright fine, but we need to do normal sex at some point," I wasn't going to object, especially given the amount of alcohol in my system. I started stroking myself slowly, but he objected immediately.

"Not here, go sit at the edge of your bed and do it," Charlie ordered and I complied.

I sat at the edge of my bed and spread my legs a little, he was on his knees watching me. At first I wasn't sure if I should be doing anything differently. Then I just decided to stroke myself long and slow. I noticed that Charlie was getting pretty hard again and he started stroking himself off too. Then he moved forward a little and started rubbing my butt. I continued to stroke myself and he slipped one finger into my ass. That felt good and I started going faster. I was moaning a little as he continued to pleasure my ass. Charlie moved again and this time he took my dick in his mouth. I stopped stroking myself as he bobbed up and down my shaft.

It was tough not to moan and act like a total bitch. He was really talented at giving head. Within a minute or two I was calling out his name as I filled his throat with my cum. He sucked me clean as I collapsed back onto my bed. That was simply amazing.

"Lick my fingers," he presented his hand to me, there was some cum on and it looked like he'd already been licking it too. "You made me cum again with that exposition."

I licked his second round of cum off of his fingers. We lay next to each other and stared at the ceiling. He held me before we both fell asleep above the covers.

(Comments, critiques, and questions are welcome at lbrimstone00@gmail.com)