DISCLAIMER: This story is based in truth. Some events/persons have been altered for the purpose of the story. There may be scenes of unsafe practices which are not endorsed by this author. All other usual warnings and precautions should be considered here. Feel free to write with any comments, corrections, etc. Think of this as a Gedankenexperiment. And remember to donate to Nifty to support all of these great stories.
When something momentous happens, it's hard to process the whole event at once. Most people analyze everything in parts and then form an opinion and course of action. However, most people are not normal. In fact no one is really normal. We all have secrets to hide or parts of our lives which changed us.
By the time Cole and I left with Fish for Harrison I was fucked up. Everything slammed into me the day after I lost my virginity to Cole. I wanted to lose it to him. I love him. But then there was the thought of not really knowing what love was. Would Cole remain faithful to me even if he loved me too? I knew he would bang some English dude the first chance he got. Was this the type of person I wanted in my life? Those few days that week I spent mostly in silence and depression. Kyle and Lex tried to talk with me but I just brushed them off. Now I was in the car headed to a suburb north of Manhattan.
Cole warned me that this trip would be far from normal. We were staying with his friend Austin since Cole's parents did not want to deal with a boyfriend of Cole's. I was told I would find Austin fascinating. They were correct.
Cole and I walked up the path for the mid-sized Marrian residence. From the outside everything seemed normal. The inside and the people however were totally different. Cole knocked on the door with force. Soon after the door was answered.
Austin opened the door and welcomed us while wearing only a pair of low boxers and an open bathrobe. The resemblance to Brad Pitt in fight club was eerie.
"Cole! How are ya?" Austin asked with enthusiasm.
"I'm doing good Aus. This is my boyfriend Lucas," Cole introduced me.
"Lucas, good to finally meet you," Austin shook my hand. "Come on in I just have to finish something down the hall. Make yourselves comfortable," he disappeared from the living room.
The interior of the house was somewhat disheveled. I looked around the room making note of the older furniture and dusty cabinets. It was like Austin had just bought the place from the estate of someone who was long dead. Cole sat on the sunken burnt orange couch in the little living room. I decided to remain standing and inspect further.
"Austin lives with his sister. They both moved out once Austin graduated high school," Cole stated. This explained the state of the house.
"Interesting. Did their parents abuse them?" I inquired why they would be so quick to leave.
"Well their father left when Austin was four, I think Liv, his sister, was seven. At that point their mom was really struggling to raise them on her own. Austin was always over at my house until I came out. Then we both just kind of wandered around. His mom was, or is, an alcoholic. Sad really," Cole explained.
"That is rather sad. Do you suppose he is over having sex now?" I had a suspicion that he was.
"What makes you say that?" Cole asked.
"Well the way he presented himself at the door. His casual demeanor and eagerness to leave. Also the apparent bulge in his boxers," I stated.
"Geez Lucas you just notice everything. I wouldn't be surprised though, when I was living here he always had someone to bang. Come sit with me," Cole moved over and I sat down.
"Something I should know?" I grew nervous.
"Did you observe that too?" Cole moved to sit closer to me and rested his head on my shoulder.
"No, just a hunch this time," I turned and kissed his ear.
"Lucas I feel really guilty and a little embarrassed. There's all this stuff I've been saying that I feel like is kind of awful. You are just this great, confused, and innocent kid and I'm this deviant with issues. I don't want you to think I don't love you, because I do. Lucas I just can't understand what's wrong with me," Cole really was upset and I was getting a little scared.
"I can't judge you for what you might have done before we met. You are a deviant and have issues, but I do too. I love you and I want you to love you. Now may not be the time to talk, but I have some theories," I replied.
Austin returned to the room with a girl following behind. He was wearing a pair of jeans now and a T-shirt which was short and exposed his abs. The girl was tall and had wavy hair the color of a good merlot. She had very striking features and wore a white dress with lace towards the bottom.
"Guys this is my girl Daphne," Austin announced.
The next few hours were spent with Daphne and Austin. I learned that Austin was an apprentice electrician and he met Daphne on a job. She is studying at a college in Manhattan. Occasionally she would lazily run a finger down his abs as they sat on another couch. It was as if Austin was a testosterone fueled god. Honestly I wouldn't blame Daphne for falling for him. He had the looks and charisma, but I could tell he was the source of Cole's bad habits.
After two hours with Austin and Daphne, I asked Cole to walk me around his town. We left our things at the house and headed out. Harrison was a place much different than my town. The area seemed more focused on the nearby city than the people living in it. It was much bigger too. We walked out in the cold as the sun began to descend and cover us in an orange glow.
"So what are you thinking?" He asked.
"First tell me about you and Austin," I responded.
"Fine. Our first time was when we were sixteen. I had gotten into a fight with my dad about something and it turned into a shaming for being gay. So I walked out and called Austin to meet me by the train tracks. We sat in the gravel and I cried after telling him my family hated me. He said I could stay with him. Back in his bedroom we talked and he started coming on to me. I was so angry and upset that I didn't care," Cole sighed, "and then he fucked me. Our last time was when we were eighteen, I had fucked him."
"I thought so," I said.
"What do you mean, you thought so?" Cole sounded upset and a little angry.
"Cole I think for you sex is a comfort mechanism of some kind. You cope by having sex. You know it too but you don't want to admit it. You know you're going to want to have sex in London but you'll feel guilty, so you told me to do the same. Just admit it," I conjectured. Cole was quiet, then he started sobbing.
"You're right. I feel like sex is all I have. I only gave you my number to hook up. But then I fell in love and I know there's more to all this. All of it is so hard to change though," he looked like he thought I would leave him. Seeing Cole tearing up had triggered the meltdown I was overdue for. My hands trembled and I moved to hug him. I stared out into the street. My thoughts ensnared me.
Cole was the best thing that ever happened to me. But maybe he was also the worst. I was constantly pushed to my mental limit with him. He showed me my true self and how much I could handle. Cole protected me but he also used me. There was no telling what he would do.
"My mind is like a glass shell. You can fill it with sand but too much makes it crack. I know who I fell in love with, the guy who smiled and talked about music. It's gruesome that someone so handsome should care. I just want us to be OK, but sometimes it's really hard," I sat on the sidewalk and cried.
"Aww Lucas I didn't want to upset you too. I'm always afraid I'll hurt you. We're figuring this out together, and I know we'll be OK," Cole sat next to me on the concrete as cars drove past on the main road.
I cried for a few more minutes. I knew we would figure this out somehow. After a while I just sat silently while Cole stared at me with those deeply emotional eyes of his.
"We will be OK. You just need to promise me that you will never let yourself be driven to someone else so long as you call me your boyfriend," I said, my voice still trembling with sadness.
"I promise," Cole took my hand and held it.
"However we will maintain your London proposal. I don't want you to go even crazier abroad. But this is the only time you are ever allowed to do this," I said with a bit more seriousness.
"I understand. Let's go back now," Cole stood up, "And who said I was crazy?"
I knew we were at least headed in the right direction. Cole still had issues but we would work through them together. I had issues too. Being gay was still something I had to cope with. Plus I had never really experienced a lot in life. There was still so much to do.
This was when our weekend started to get strange. Austin was certainly an interesting individual. Cole and I got back to the house an hour later. The front door was unlocked. What greeted us was startling.
Austin was fucking Daphne in the hallway. She was braced against the wall as he drove himself into her. His tightly muscled figure thrust up against her lithe form. Neither of them noticed as Cole and I watched in awe. They were moaning in ecstasy and Daphne began calling out his name. Within a few minutes she orgasamed and he quickly followed suit. Austin withdrew with a bizarre slurping noise and turned to us. He was still semi-hard and I could tell he was the same size as Cole.
"Wanna give me a fuck for old times bud?" Austin asked and it was hard to tell if he was kidding.
"I'm good," Cole replied.
Daphne went down the hall and Austin slowly followed after her. All of this was unheard of. We had just watched porn. Austin wanted to get fucked too. Then there was a knock at the front door. Cole went and answered it.
"Are Daphne and Aus around?" the caller asked.
He was someone Cole didn't know. 6'3 with silver red hair swept to the side. His jaw was square and his eyes were olive. Freckles scattered across the flat bridge of his nose. He was quite built in his navy tank top and chino shorts. His most distinguishing feature was a light brown mustache.
"Yeah, and who are you?" Cole asked.
"I'm Johnny. Daphne's boyfriend from the city," he replied.
"Oh of course, let me go get them," Cole was very nervous at this development. It seemed like Austin picked the wrong girl.
"What do you do Johnny?" I asked to try and buy time.
"I'm studying economics at Columbia. You and your boyfriend make a cute couple," he smiled.
"Thanks, how could you tell?" I was surprised he picked up on it so fast.
"Because, Austin's my boyfriend," he smiled again.
"Hey Johnny's here," Austin said enthusiastically.
Daphne walked over and embraced Johnny before kissing him. Cole looked like he was anticipating a fight. But when Daphne moved back, Austin went and gave Johnny a kiss. Cole was dumbfounded and I was a little stunned too.
"What the fuck?" Cole nearly exclaimed.
"Hey you got me hooked in high school bud. I'm just glad I could find two awesome people to be with. My dick gets what it wants," Austin grinned.
"Yeah and your ass too," Jonny gave Austin a slap on the butt.
"Alright let's cool it here," Daphne said wearily. All the sex clearly tired her out.
"All of you are fine with this?" Cole asked.
"Fuck yeah we are. This shit is the best thing going," Johnny quickly answered.
"I stay with Johnny through the week and Austin on weekends. They fuck on Fridays. Gives me a break from the sex every other day. Not that I want it," Daphne explained.
"Speaking of," Johnny grinned at Austin and they left the room.
I couldn't understand how one guy could have sex so often. The energy required was unthinkable. It wasn't likely that Austin and Johnny would just stop after shooting off once either. I wondered if Cole what Cole thought of all of this, but I couldn't ask in front of Daphne.
We spoke with Daphne for over an hour. Austin and Johnny didn't emerge from that room until later in the evening. All of us agreed to go get something for dinner. Johnny and Austin stank of sweat and semen, but they didn't care. We took Johnny's car to a nearby Chinese restaurant.
Cole and Austin hit it off like old friends. If the whole sex show could be ignored, Austin was a friendly individual. They talked about what things were like growing up and how rough they had it in high school. Johnny was also an interesting individual. He was very intelligent and had an opinion on most topics. From across the table I also couldn't help but notice how attractive he was. But all I had to do was look at Cole sitting next to me and know I had everything I needed.
"What are you guys planning on doing tomorrow?" Austin asked between bites of hamburger.
"Going to see the city," Cole replied.