NEITHER ANGEL NOR HUSTLER by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2008 written on August 12, 1992 translated by the author English text kindly revised by Acam
USUAL DISCLAIMER
"NEITHER ANGEL NOR HUSTLER" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.
Fourth notebook
Giorgio hadn't had to do military service because his folks had greased the right people's palms. Zio just declared he was gay and was at once excused as unfit. I think I will do that too. Jimmi simply got his discharge because he was supernumerary. Samba has no army service problems as he is Brazilian and Mem says he will declare he is gay too. None of us intends to waste a year on that. It is true that there are some soldiers who hustle but it's not the same thing.
Zio told us that when he declared he was a faggot they made him undergo a whole set of psychological examinations to be sure it was not just a pretext. By the end he was fed up and said to the second lieutenant who was examining him and who was a handsome hunk "Listen just undo your trousers and I will give you real proof straightaway. Would you prefer me to give you head, or you would rather shove it in my arse?"
What fun! I would have liked to have been there and seen that.
Zio said he was even hoping that the hunk would agree. But he stopped all his tests and wrote on his form - "Unfit". And so he was finally out.
Zio spends lot of his free time reading but if there is something to fix at home he is a wizard - he has golden hands! Mem cares for the plants or cleans the house or does the laundry. Or else he watches TV. Samba wears headphones and listens to music almost all the time while reading his porno comics (straight ones as there aren't any gay ones) and he cuts out the drawings when there is a nice hunk all naked, eliminating the female with his scissors and has a nice collection - he glues them in some albums with white pages. He says he would like to be a comic strip artist but only with gay stories. He often helps Mem with the household chores and he usually irons our clothes. Jimmi, Giorgio and I often play chess or chat and that is how we spend the afternoon. Jimmi likes to do the shopping. Perhaps Giorgio does least work but he looks after our budget and pays the bills for rent, heating and so forth.
++++++++++++++
The fact that Giorgio and I are sleeping in the same room even though in two single beds (not like Zio and Mem who bought a king size bed) is leading us to be more and more intimate. Unfortunately not physically intimate but we talk more often and tell each other more and more details about our lives. So I feel we are getting to know each other better.
He told me about the boy his parents caught him having sex with at home. He said his name is Rico. They were classmates and close friends and yet neither of them knew that the other one liked sex with men too. Though unlike him Giorgio says Rico enjoys sex only with men.
They were seventeen and the whole class went on a school trip to Ravenna for a week. They were in a small hotel where they had to sleep two in each room and of course Giorgio and Rico chose to share a room. Giorgio had always fantasized about doing something with his mate as he had already seen him naked in the showers after gym and he liked what he saw particularly his cock surrounded by a halo of curled blond hair and his small tight arse. But fearing to spoil a beautiful friendship he never dared to try anything on.
The first evening in Ravenna they had a shower together as they were used to doing at school and then went to bed still totally naked. They switched off the lights chatted for a while and then wished each other a good night. But Giorgio couldn't sleep - he had a hard-on and was thinking of Rico's naked body just a metre away. He was feeling a mad desire to crawl across to his bed and have sex with him... but he didn't move a finger.
From the window a faint light came into the room and he could only just distinguish the unmoving shape of his friend's body under the sheets. Minutes passed and Giorgio was falling asleep though still had a hard-on. The he heard Rico's bed lightly squeaking. He turned his head lo look but saw nothing.
Then his friend called in a whisper "Giorgio..."
He didn't know why, but he didn't answer.
Rico again whispered, "Giorgio?"
He again didn't answer.
Then Rico's bed started to squeak again very faintly but this time rhythmically and the outline was visibly moving up and down at its centre - up and down and Giorgio realised he was beating his meat. This aroused him even more, so Giorgio, while taking care to make no noise, started to massage his cock while spying on the outline in the bed next to him.
After a while Giorgio overcome with desire whispered "Rico, you are beating your meat, aren't you?"
Rico stopped let out a half choked sob, then said, "Y... yes."
"I am too."
"You too?"
"Yes... Why don't come here and do it with me?"
"Wouldn't you mind?"
"No, on the contrary... we are friends aren't we? Wouldn't it be great to do it together?"
"You and me?"
"Sure... are you coming?"
Rico got out of his bed and Giorgio could see his silhouette with his cock jutting out stiff and straight. He saw him come nearer and he made room for him. Rico slid on to Giorgio's bed and Giorgio helped him get in and felt his friend's naked skin under his hands then against his skin. He then moved closer to him and got on top of him and started to rub his body against him to make him feel his hard-on. Rico sighed. Giorgio pulled himself up and they lay chest on chest, belly on belly and cock on cock. Then he seized Rico's head with both hands and kissed him - a French kiss deep and with his tongue in Rico's mouth,
Rico at first stiffened for a moment but then hugged Giorgio pulling him against his body and returned that hot kiss fully. Without needing to say a word their bodies wrapped each other intertwined round each other, pushed against each other and stroked and felt for each other. And finally they fucked too. First was Rico who took Giorgio but then they changed roles.
When worn out but sated they relaxed still hugging and Rico said, "That was great, I have been wanting to do that with you for ages but I was afraid that you..."
"Same here." Giorgio said and they kissed again.
So for the whole week they spent in Ravenna every night they had sex safely and happily. Back home in their own town they went on fucking each other whenever they could manage it which was much less often than they would have liked. Giorgio told me they weren't lovers they just liked to fuck together. He said that Rico was maybe a bit too thin but had a sexy body anyway. They went on like that for more than one year, sometimes meeting at Rico's place sometimes at his place whenever the parents of one or the other left them alone.
And it went on until the time when his parents came home early and caught them red handed... or red arsed! Giorgio told me that during that year both Rico and he had had other adventures too. Rico only had sex with boys but Giorgio both with boys and girls. When they had sex together they told each other about their adventures in detail as it got them even more aroused.
Then I said to Giorgio, "You see that with Rico you were friends and yet you had sex with him? You see that it's possible?"
"Well it was different. I only wanted to amuse myself with Rico. We were friends only as people are with their classmates and not like you and me. We are special friends..."
"Oh thank you a lot!" I said pouting.
+++++++++++++++++
One of my johns, Fulvio, a forty-one years old DJ pays me to undress completely in front of him (while he stays fully dressed) and then he touches, strokes me and fondles me. That's all. He doesn't even want me to wank - nothing else. And he doesn't touch himself. But after he has been feeling me for a while he comes in his trousers and I see that he has been enjoying himself... And then it is all over. He must be a good customer for a laundry somewhere!
When I leave his house I am so aroused that either I find another john straight away or I have to go somewhere to beat my meat.
I have never seen Fulvio naked. Maybe there is nothing worth seeing. But he knows how to touch me in the right way and on the right spots. There is no accounting for taste. Each one of us is made in his own way. I couldn't understand Fulvio until one day while he went to answer the telephone I noticed a photograph-holder on his desk. I wondered who it was and picked it up and saw that it was the picture of a boy of my age who in some ways looked like me. On the lower right corner someone had written "To my Dad with love Gabriele". (very classical, isn't it?)
And that is how the scales dropped from my eyes and I realised that I might be taking the place of his son in his fantasies He may have been longing for Gabriele but didn't dare to touch him. Yes, that's how it must be! Gabriele was a really handsome boy (he looks like me, after all!). To a faggot father it must be dreadful to have such a handsome son who can't be touched however sexy he looks. I put the photo back quickly so that he wouldn't see I might have discovered the skeleton in his closet. But I pity Fulvio now poor man.
I've heard plenty of times that two brothers had sex together (for instance Samba and his brother), but a father and a son? Who knows whether it happens? Well why not after all? I talked about it with Giorgio and he said that incest is wrong that it shouldn't happen and that when it happens it's always a trauma for the son. But I think that if a father forces his son (or his daughter) to have sex with him it is really wrong but only because there is force or violence. But what if the two freely chose to do so and if they love each other? I don't see where there would be trauma in that.
Jimmi heard our discussion and said that incest is wrong only for biological reasons because the woman can give birth to a child with a hereditary defect; but if they are of the same sex the problem doesn't exist therefore there is no sense in calling it incest.
Then Zio took out the "I" volume of his encyclopaedia and read us the definition - "Carnal relationship between persons of different sexes who have a close bond of kinship". So Jimmi is right.
So if Fulvio had sex with his son and his son were adult enough and fully consenting there would be nothing monstrous about it. But I think that other factors like social, cultural and religious conventions would come into play because our society condemns plenty of things for such reasons... like for instance us gay people. Some of society's morals are a pile of bullshit! When a person doesn't hurt either himself or his partner why should it be condemned? I really can't understand such things.
Giorgio says that he would never ever do such things with his father. I would never ever do it with my father but the main reason would be because he is not my type (neither physically nor in his character and so on and so on). I think. Giorgio shook his head and said he absolutely can't agree.
++++++++++++++++
Sometimes I think that amongst the six of us Giorgio is the one with the most middle-class mentality. A lot of his origins have stayed with him. But I like him all the same or rather am in love with him. It is said that love makes you blind. I don't think so. It really doesn't seem like that to me. What makes a person blind is selfishness rather than love.
++++++++++++++
Mem is not effeminate. He may be a bit nearer to that than the rest of us but he is not a sissy and he doesn't talk in falsetto or camp it up... He just has a more delicate, gentle way of expressing himself than us. Why can't a man be gentle and delicate? Yes, sure, Giorgio or Zio are much more manly especially Giorgio the Stallion...
The tongue always returns to the aching tooth - I do nothing but think about him.
+++++++++++++
A few days ago the doorbell rang. The day was hot and Jimmi who was alone at home was totally naked. So he tied a towel around his middle and went to answer the door. It was the guy from the gas company to read the meter. Jimmi let him in. He was a young man of twenty-five or twenty-seven with light brown hair lean and handsome and he looked shy. Jimmi immediately decided to seduce him.
So while he was writing down the numbers, Jimmi said "It's a very hot day, isn't it?"
The young man without lifting his eyes replied "Yes much too hot."
"May I offer you something refreshing? A cold beer?"
"Thank you but I don't want to bother you..."
So Jimmi got them one.
Jimmi already got a bit hard so that his towel was slightly raised in front which was a bit obvious. He noticed the young man taking a stealthy glance while he had a sip of his beer.
The gas man asked, "Are you alone at home?"
"Yes, completely alone..."
"That's how you can go around almost naked... You're lucky. I'm all sweaty."
"You can take something off ... have a little rest can't you?
The young man looked at his watch and said, "I don't have time I've got to finish my round."
"Come on, just a few minutes. Just the time to drink your beer quietly."
The young man nodded and sat down.
Jimmi sat almost in front of him and said, "What's your name?"
"Salvo. And you?"
"Jimmi. Take off that jacket at least you can take a breather."
"Thank you." the gas-boy said and pulled off his khaki jacket. Under it he was wearing just a white tight T-shirt moulding his nice chest.
"You do some gym? You're so well built..."
"Some swimming."
"Yes, perfect muscles. I'd like to see you... at the pool."
"I attend the Communal Pool near the soccer stadium. If you go there..."
"I unfortunately don't have much time. You have nice pectorals..." Jimmi said standing up and touching them almost as if to underline them with his fingers.
The young man seemed rather taken aback and gave a twitch but Jimmy didn't take away his hand and instead went down to touch his belly through the light cotton of the T-shirt.
"Also your tummy muscles are perfect."
"I... ought to go..."
"Don't run away. You aren't scared by me are you?"
"Scared? No, why?"
"Then relax. Does it bother you when someone admires you? You should be used to it well built as you are."
"Well, yes, but... usually by girls. This is the first time that..."
Jimmi went on to cheekily feel him and the young man shuddered again and seemed even more confused. He drank all his beer but didn't stand up. Jimmi made his hand go a little lower almost to touch the other's fly and the young man stiffened.
"Relax..." Jimmy suggested and his hand rested on the basket of the young man who shuddered and seized his wrist as if to stop him.
With a choked voice, he said, "Don't take offence but I... I never did it with a boy I'm not gay..."
"Nor am I am a fag either," lied Jimmi cheekily, "... but I've no prejudices. Do you have prejudices?"
"No, it's just that... you make me embarrassed touching me like that."
"I like you Salvo, and we are alone."
"Couldn't your folks come back any moment?"
"No, don't worry, no risks." Jimmi said and kneeled between his legs and started to undo his trouser belt.
The young man trembled slightly and asked quietly "What do you want to do? Suck it?"
"Would you like that?"
"Well... maybe... I don't know..."
"Girls never gave you head, Salvo?"
"Y... yes..."
"Didn't you like it?"
"Yes..."
"Then relax and let me do it."
The young man said nothing but let him. Jimmi freed his tool from his trousers and pulled it out seeing it was already hardening. He then bent down took it in his mouth and started to pump it.
The guy groaned quietly "Oh-my-go-o-o-d! Shit how good you are!" and spread his legs to offer better access to Jimmi's greedy mouth.
That was the beginning of a victory but Jimmi had something else in mind. He took him almost to orgasm two or three times without making him come until the young man was totally turned on. Jimmi then persuaded him to stand up and let him pull off his trousers and sit on the edge of the table,
"... so I will be more comfortable." Jimmi explained to him.
The gas-man gave in. Meanwhile Jimmy let his towel fall down so that he was totally naked between the spread thighs of Salvo sitting on the kitchen table, and went on giving him head skilfully as only Jimmi is able to do. He caressed his thighs and his buttocks and with a tempting finger he opened his way until he reached his hole, which he tickled at first gently and then more decidedly and inquisitively. The young man was near to coming so didn't try to stop him.
Jimmi worked it for a good while and when he felt the guy was almost gone and the hole started to palpitate and to answer to the skilled rimming of his finger, moved his mouth away from Salvo's cock and moved down going to lap and lick the hole. Salvo was trembling and moaning and spread his thighs wider.
"God what are you doing? No, not there, no, please, no..." he weakly protested but doing nothing to stop him.
Jimmi worked his hole nicely, wetting it well, making the guy incredibly aroused, then stood up and replaced his tongue with the tip of his hard cock and started to push.
The gas-boy jumped and tied to wriggle away but Jimmi seized him to his waist and kept him still without any difficulty.
Jimmi said "Yes keep still. You'll see that you'll enjoy it a lot. Let me do it my beautiful hunk. Tell me you want all of it inside you."
"No..."
"Yes, say it..."
"No, no please not there... I never did it with a man, I... I never took it there..."
"Shush don't move. Relax and I'll give you pleasure... Heck how good you are!"
Jimmi felt his cock tip opening its way and Salvo stiffened.
Jimmi stopped and said "Relax."
"Not there..." the young man begged.
Jimmi didn't step back but rather applied more pressure and ordered "Relax, I said!"
Salvo suddenly stopped trying to resist and relaxed so Jimmi felt he was slipping inside him.
Salvo moaned prey to pleasure, "Oooh... ooh... ooooh..."
"You like it, don't you?"
"Y... yes..."
"Tell me you want all of it inside you."
"I want it..."
"Say it again!"
"I want all of iiiiit!"
"Here it is Salvo! Enjoy it all! Feel how nicely it's entering you."
"Yeeeeessss."
So Jimmi started to fuck him with a will and told us that the table was sliding back at each of his pushes. Jimmi controlled himself not to come too soon so as to enjoy the young man better and make him enjoy the fuck too. He knew that Salvo would gradually get used to that unexpected intrusion and that he would enjoy it. And that's how it went.
When Jimmi saw that the guy was losing his head under his assaults he let himself go and both reached their orgasm almost together. He then gently slipped out and gave him a towel to clean up all the seed Salvo had spurted on his own belly.
While Salvo was getting dressed again with his head down as if he felt ashamed Jimmi asked him "You enjoyed it, Salvo, didn't you?"
The hunk nodded without uttering a word.
"I know. I enjoy it too when I take it in my arse like that... But this isn't your first time is it? It went into you too easily."
Salvo was confused but admitted, "No my elder brother used to fuck me in the arse when we were still sleeping together. But it wasn't good as... as with you. But I'm not gay anyway I like girls."
"Is your brother gay?"
"No, he isn't either. It was just a kids' thing."
"But when it's done properly it's also good when one is no more a kid. One doesn't have to be a fag to enjoy it. An orgasm is an orgasm - it hasn't any labels don't you think?"
"But do you take it in the arse?"
"Yes."
"Often?"
"When I feel like it."
"But you're a wily old fox - you managed to get what you wanted."
"Because you wanted it too after all."
"No. I don't think so... But you managed to arouse me. By the end, it's true I wanted it then. You made me come without even beating my meat."
"I really enjoyed it too."
"Of course you did. For you it was different you were the one doing the fucking."
"Do you want to fuck me? I'm game."
"No... I mean ... no thank you. I really have to go now."
"Well goodbye, Salvo."
"Bye."
And he went away.
When Jimmi told it to us we laughed and called him Casanova. Mem asked him why he told the guy he wasn't gay.
"Because otherwise he would have felt scared I think. He would have refused. On the contrary he had more confidence with someone he thought was straight."
"Yeah you give confidence and they fuck your arse!" Samba commented and gave Jimmi a slap on the arse.
+++++++++++++++++++++
Sometimes I think that people who hustle as we do are "thirsty" for sex after all. Maybe it isn't so for everybody but for us six I really think this is really so. Certainly for Samba, me and Jimmi.
++++++++++++++++++++
Giorgio told me about when he was a child and ran away from home. He was about six years old. He decided he wanted to go to America (on foot - to him at that time America was something like a supermarket a few blocks away). He had prepared his run-away bundle with in it his soccer picture-cards, his marbles, a pot of Nutella chocolate and his teddy-bear... in short all he needed. And he walked and walked and walked.
He was already on the national road when a car stopped near him and the driver asked him where he was going.
"To America." Giorgio answered seriously.
"Do your parents know?"
"Of course."
"What's your name?"
"Giorgio."
"Listen Giorgio, America is still far away. Come in my car and I'll take you there."
So Giorgio got into the car and the guy started off again and stopped at the next village and took him to the police station. Giorgio told me he was cross because he felt he had been taken for a ride. Meanwhile his folks had noticed he had gone and were looking for him. They were scared. Giorgio cried at the police station not at all out of fear just from frustration disappointment and anger.
So a policeman took him on his lap and stroked him and Giorgio enjoyed it and so he calmed down and curled up against him. They asked him questions and he gave his address to them so the police called his family and they came to fetch him at once and scolded him for good.
"Do you remember that policeman?" I asked him.
"No. I think he was young but all I remember is his uniform and his body warmth which at the time was something like Linus' blanket to me. I was feeling protected and safe. That might be why I still like policemen so much even today... I don't know. I never felt protected or safe at home. My folks seemed interested only about one thing - that I behave. I had to be a model son. A lot of fucking bullshit in one word!"
"But they surely loved you."
"Maybe they did but in their own way... I never felt loved though. I felt judged by them only that and always that... sometimes I also felt appreciated but in the way that one appreciates a trained dog that does its tricks well. More often criticised. Dad is a perfectionist and Mum follows suit very closely. They bought me toys but only educational ones. They didn't ever ask me what I would have liked. I took my fun at my mates houses as they had fantastic toys - empty shoe boxes, beer bottles metallic caps, plastic supermen and that sloppy green and fluorescent gel of space monsters... all the fabulous pieces of rubbish that I couldn't have.
"My mates could build and often invent their toys. I could not as I would have made a mess with glue, scissors or plywood, with colours, plasticine or moulding papier mch. I had plenty of toys or rather I would say 'games' all prefabricated, perfect, clean and above all educational. The Little World Traveller, Talking Cricket, the Game of Driving Rules... and above all I had to play with them rigidly keeping to their rules. I was ashamed to invite my mates home as I thought they would find my games boring because I thought they were. Maybe they liked them. I don't know."
+++++++++++++++++
For carnival one of Zio's johns hired us to take part in a masked party at his villa in the hills. The theme was the Rio Carnival so Samba made us all wear the same costume just buying some very colourful remnants of cloth and a black leotard each (all paid for by Zio's john) to dress like a samba school in Rio. Of course the party ended predictably in an orgy, and we had to satisfy all the john's guests.
At one point I saw Giorgio, only a metre away from me, fucking a well-built man in his forties and I envied that guy - Giorgio's nickname is Stallion, but that isn't half the story. When he fucks, he does it with a will, exactly with the exuberance of a real stallion. In order to couple each of us with a guest we had to play a kind of Monopoly but all based on sexual activities and we were the stakes to be won.
I was won by a guy from Genoa an antiquarian of thirty-five. He was a little skeleton-like but not so bad. The luckiest of us was Jimmi who was won by a guy who was a fair copy of Helmut Berger. But soon it was just an orgy as I said where partners were swapped everybody fucked with everybody. At one time (it was around five in the morning) I found myself with plenty of cocks and mouths all over me.
Then somebody switched off the lights and I at once profited from that - I never lost sight of Giorgio so in the dark I went over to him and he didn't realise it was me and just fucked me half drunk as he was. I was sure it was him because I know his smell and his body too well. So at least I could have sex with him! Even though it was without him being aware of it. I am not going to tell him or else I'm afraid he would get mad at me. It was wonderful as long as it lasted; but after a while hands parted us bodies slipped between us and in the dark I lost him.
When we dressed to go back home it was dawn, around seven in the morning. We were all six worn out. I don't know how many fucks each of us had during that night. Anyway they paid us very well.
That day we slept until mid afternoon. I woke up before Giorgio and took advantage of it to gaze at him for a while and was feeling happy - I got you at last! I've been yours even if only for some fifteen minutes more or less! Even though you didn't even realize it. It was worth going to that party. Gosh, how good it was being in the arms (and legs) of Giorgio! "My" marvellous stallion. Well no, he isn't mine even though I know I'm his. And now I'm his physically too.
++++++++++++++++
Mem told me about his relationship with Zio. He is happy. They make love almost every day, sometimes before and sometimes after we go hustling. He told me he still doesn't know if they are really in love but Zio needs him and he needs Zio. If this is not love... He said that Zio becomes more beautiful when they make love and he is proud of that because he knows he is the cause of this transformation. Yes, I envy Mem who found his man.
+++++++++++++++
Who knows whether it's just that each of us six has a family behind him that he didn't feel comfortable with for various reasons? I'm not saying that this has something to do with us being fags as surely some conceited shrinks would say at once. But surely it has something to do with the fact that we all ran away from home and we decided to live together. Each of us looks to get from the others the support and encouragement we didn't get from our families. And that is even true about those of us who are apparently stronger like Zio or Giorgio. Anyway we six have been lucky because we are not alone and we love each other.
+++++++++++++++
I met Muhammad again. He is fine and he finally got his residence permit. He works as a service-station attendant at a garage near the motorway junction so that at 7:30 p.m. he is free. After supper he goes hustling - always in the same street. He told me that Abdel often asks him about me and that he would like to meet me again. So I gave him our telephone number because I would like to see Abdel again too (and not just see him). Anyway Abdel has a son whose name is Giuseppe, that is Yussuf in the Arab language. Muhammad seems to be really proud of his little nephew; he does nothing but talk about him.
Now Muhammad speaks Italian almost perfectly. He wears rather elegant clothes and cuts a really nice figure. He seems even less an Arab than before - he could pass for a southern Italian. He is quite handsome so he isn't short of johns. With his regular job and his hustling he is saving good money. He hopes he can go back to Morocco one day and open a little hotel for gay foreign tourists in some resort.
I asked him if it's true that in Italy there is racism. He said yes and no - Italians are a little bit racist even the northern Italians against the southern Italians so there is no reason for surprise if they are like that towards people who come from "much further south"! But he told me that up to now he never met with really serious problems. I'm happy for him. He is a really nice boy. He is one year older than me but he looks younger than me maybe because he has almost no beard. Also he has very little hair on his body in spite of being an Arab; it scarcely shows although it is black. But I also like him perhaps because even though he is an Arab he is willing to admit being gay and is happy about it.
Abdel called me three days later. Just hearing his beautiful warm voice on the telephone sent quivers of pleasure up and down my spine... as well as affecting another part of my body. We made a date at his place for lunch time as his wife has lunch at her office and we can be alone apart from his little son who is still in his cradle anyway so there is no problem. He asked me if he can invite Muhammad too and I said I would be glad.
So we met again and after a short conversation we had sex all three together. It was very good as usual. Abdel told me that, besides his wife, Muhammad and I are the only ones with whom he fucks. He then asked me why I never asked him for money, as he knows I'm a hustler. I told him that I go with him because I like him very much both physically and for his character and because of the way he makes love. He seemed very pleased.
He then went to the other room and came back with a really beautiful tea set all in chiselled and enamelled silver and glass and he gave it to me saying, "It is made in Morocco. Accept it as a sign of my deep and sincere friendship. I'm not paying you please understand it. Friendship can never be paid back."
Maybe it is stupid but I was really moved.
++++++++++++++++
Samba got a discharge from his prick and Zio scolded him badly because he obviously hadn't used a condom.
Jimmi to defend him said, "Anyway nowadays it's easy to get cured of a discharge."
Zio became even more angry, "He could easily have got AIDS the same way that he has now got the discharge don't you realise that'"
Zio is quite right! Now Samba seems like a thrashed puppy. I hope he will never again do anything so stupid and dangerous. Zio wanted us all to go to do the usual HIV test straight away.
+++++++++++++
On the street I saw Fulvio with his son Gabriele. Not to embarrass him, I pretended not to have seen him, but I profited to study for a while his son. I wasn't at all wrong, we could really pass for two brothers, not really as twins but very like each other. The boy was wearing quite provocative clothes... poor Fulvio. Tight trousers and a jersey wrapping his body tightly and showing off all his virile attributes... and what nice attributes!
Well I have to confess that I would like to spend some hours with the son more than with the father. But he might be a straight boy. Instead just think if the boy were gay! Both of them without the other knowing. And possibly each of them desiring the other one. No! This seems too much like a soap opera like Destiny or similar others.
Fulvio usually calls me once or twice each month and each time it is the same ritual. I got to know that Fulvio is divorced and that his son lives with his mother. Well I thought, it's better to keep the dry wood away from the fire. But who knows why we can't live in a less twisted society? And a less puritanical one? Jimmi says that puritanical rhymes with diabolical. And that is true and that there is a connexion as the more people moralise the worse they act. Whitewashed faades hiding depravity. A whited sepulchre... but am I not even a little bit like them?
No I don't think I am. Or at least I don't want to be."
++++++++++++++
Jimmi succeeded in persuading Zio and in consequence Mem too to give up smoking joints. Jimmi is clever I must admit. He had been able to approach Zio in the right way something that is not always easy to do. Jimmi is not a moralist - he is not against drugs because they are morally wrong but just because he thinks it's "chemically" wrong for our body. I liked his vision of this problem.
I have to say that my esteem for Jimmi is increasing as I'm getting to know him better. If I weren't in love with Giorgio who knows that...
I must be a little bit of a bitch after all. If I weren't in love with Giorgio I think I could fall in love with too many guys, first of all Jimmi but then also Abdel, Muhammad... and so on and so on and so on. But I'm also able to be faithful - I have Giorgio in my heart so I don't allow anybody else to get in it. Well after all I'm not so bad. I'm not trash to be thrown away.
(If I don't say that about myself who would say it about me?)
++++++++++++++++
At a gay disco a boy of my age persistently came on to me. He was really well built but I thought he surely would not have the money to pay for a hustler himself. So after a bit I just told him I am a hustler to dishearten him.
But he said, "Yes I know, my friends told me you are. Anyway you're gay too aren't you? How much do you ask?"
"Yes I'm gay. It depends what you want to do and for how much time."
"To fuck your arse in the back of my van that is parked here nearby and for the time we need to come without doing just a quickie."
I looked at him rather surprised for his way to go straight to the point; then told him, "Fifty."
"Alright. Here it is. Let's go."
I followed him to the square and we got into the back of his Ducato van and he shut us inside and lit a light. On the floor he spread a kind of gym mat and covered it with a white cloth.
"Good, let's undress." he said.
"You're well equipped, I see."
"Always when I go to a disco to cruise. On weekdays in daytime this van is my working transport but on Saturday evenings it becomes my bachelor pad."
We undressed and after short preliminaries he shoved it all in my hole but took his time to come. He took me from in front and I liked looking at his muscles tightening at each push (I think he attends a gym) and watching how his enjoyment gradually transformed his expression. When he came he opened his mouth like for a silent scream and tilted his head backward.
He then relaxed very slowly without taking it out at once.
He looked at me and said, "But you didn't come... didn't you enjoy it?"
"I did. But never mind."
"How do you like to come?"
"Never mind, I said. After all you are paying."
"Right, and I would like you to come too. How do you like to come?"
"In the arse or in the mouth... But it really doesn't matter." I insisted.
"Not in the arse; I don't like it. So I'll give you head..." and he did it rather well.
While we were dressing he said, "I'm Cesare. And you?"
"Niki. But tell me, why did you want to make me come?"
"Because you're a person, not an inflatable doll, it's obvious!"
"But I'm a hustler."
"That is just your business. I like you. Do you think we can meet again?"
"If you like. I'll give you my telephone number."
"Good so we can meet again. Not necessarily on a Saturday. And next time it will be even better, you'll see."
A funny guy. He's eighteen and he pays a hustler then treats him like a mate. After all he's very pleasant. Going back to the disco he told me he works as an agent for fashion items produced by his father. When we were back he offered me a drink then said goodbye and went back to his friends amongst whom I recognised one of my johns.
Now Cesare calls me three or four times each month. He comes with his van, lets me in, and we have sex. Now that we know each other a little better the sex is better too as he said. We feel good together. Besides paying me he gave me some black leather trousers that make me look sexier.
He told me that he has a lover, a twenty-year old boy, who doesn't like taking it in the arse so I am his "safety-valve". His lover knows he comes with me and that's all right with him. They have lived together since he was just sixteen and his boyfriend Michele, was eighteen. He seduced Michele because he realised he was gay when he was as young as fourteen and before falling for Michele had already had several more or less lasting adventures.
On the other hand he was the first and only boy for Michele. Cesare's father knows about them but this isn't a problem at all for his old man. Indeed for the last six months Michele has worked as a clerk in Cesare's father's factory. It's two years since they began to live together in a single-room flat that belongs to Cesare's father. It seems that in this world there are still some decent, sensible and understanding people. Cesare says he would like me to meet his lover but he is not sure that his Michele would be glad to know that I'm the one with whom Cesare goes when he needs a fuck.
Now when we have sex the preliminaries are somewhat longer and also after we have both come he stays naked with me for a while. He explained to me that Michele and he only do sixty-nines - long and very good, he says, but they alone are not enough for him as he also likes to fuck an arse. But he doesn't want to force Michele to do more. And so he comes with me.
After all I like Cesare and his way of going straight to the point without ever being impolite. I like his virile way of having sex and that it is not devoid of loving attentions and the fact that he likes to have a chat with me too and not only a fuck. He is nothing special physically, but he has a nice personality.
Anyway variety is the spice of life.
CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 5
In my home page I've put some more of my stories. If someone wants to read them, the URL is
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If you want to send me feed-back, or desire to help revising my English translations, so that I can put on-line more of my stories in English please e-mail at
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