NEITHER ANGEL NOR HUSTLER by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2008 written on August 12, 1992 translated by the author English text kindly revised by Acam
USUAL DISCLAIMER
"NEITHER ANGEL NOR HUSTLER" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.
Tenth notebook
I went back home and put the shopping bags on the table. From under the shower Hansel asked me, "Did you remember the eggs?"
"Yes, certainly. I got a dozen. Is that enough?"
"Perfect! I'll finish my shower and then I'll make the cake."
I unconsciously massaged my arse. It ached a bit - I had had to take a bigger dong than ever before. Not long but disproportionately fat - just one of the risks of the trade. The fact is that when soft its size seemed normal. I could have refused that patron but I ought to have done it beforehand - not after we had started. ... And ... a boy refusing a patron already selected by the agency doesn't get a good name.
That guy came down on me without half measures, without worrying about who was under him. Of course with such a cock that guy had to pay a boy - who would have taken it of his own free will? Well, maybe some would have... there are people for whom no cock is ever big enough. It would not even have fitted into my mouth and yet it went into my arse... But now it was aching and who knows how many days that would last?
Hansel came out quite naked and gave me a peck on the lips.
"Hey, you feel in a romantic mood?" I asked him amused.
"Yes. Under the shower I was thinking that you are really nice. That I'm lucky to live with you. You know my brother likes you a lot too."
"I like him and Pieter too. Listen, either you dress or I undress then we can start cooking."
"You undress come on. I don't feel like dressing."
We started to prepare the dishes for Hansel's birthday party. Our friends were coming to have a meal at our place to celebrate it.
"Where the heck can we put all of them?" I asked him as I looked through the list of the people he invited.
"They will have to sit on each others' laps - how else? So there will be no problem at all." My friend answered giggling slyly.
The party went well. We were really crowded and several of them really did have to sit on their lovers or friends and the consequence was not a few comfortable fumbles but everything went smoothly and cheerfully. As we knew he wanted a rather expensive camera we decided to club together to buy his present. We bought him a very good Nikon with a full set of supplementary lenses and an electronic flash and tripod. Hansel was moved and wanted to use it at once. Zak asked him if he could shot some pictures too and Hansel handed it to him. When everybody left Zak and Jorge stayed to help us to clean up and tidy everything. Then about at one in the morning they left too.
Zak offered to shoot some nude pics of me using Hansel's new camera so we decided to do them in the next few days. That boy really has a feel for photography; all his shots were very good in spite of not having spotlights and all the usual stuff. I told him to talk to Higgins next time he comes about his hobby .
+++++++++++++++
The day after his birthday Hansel and I had a day off so we slept almost up to lunch time. Then we opened all the windows wide and we started to do a spring clean of the whole apartment. I was changing the bag of the vacuum cleaner when the door-bell rang.
"You go Hansel?"
"Alright." he answered.
I heard him opening the door then talk quietly. I couldn't guess who the other voice might belong to. I was curious and about to go to see when Hansel appeared at the bedroom door with an odd smile.
"I've had him sit in the kitchen. Do you want to go and talk to him?"
"Talk to whom?" I asked even more curious and I left the vacuum cleaner and wiping my hands on the sides of my jeans I went to the kitchen and my eyes opened wide with surprise - it was Giorgio! As soon as he heard me coming in he stood up and smiled. But he looked extremely embarrassed which was very unusual for him.
"Giorgio!"
"Nicola... forgive me for surprising you by coming without telling you first..."
"You were lucky to find us here. We are usually at work by this time."
"I would have waited for you to come back..."
"What time did you arrive?"
"One hour ago at the airport. It was a direct flight. Then a taxi here..."
We were standing there we hadn't hugged each other or even shaken hands - nothing. We were both embarrassed. And yet I would usually have flown to put my arms round his neck. Who knows why I didn't? Maybe it was the oddness of his attitude that kept me back. Yes, his attitude...
"Is something wrong Giorgio?"
"No, why?"
"I don't know. You seem... different from usual."
"I'm feeling different from usual in fact."
"Are you sure nothing bad has happened?"
"Well... yes and no. Lot of things nothing special but..."
"Have a seat. Do you want a cup of tea? The coffee here is disgusting, I don't even bring any home."
"Do you have something stronger?"
"Vodka?"
"Yes alright. Thank you."
"I'll keep you company. Have a seat..." I said pouring the drinks.
He sipped it and when he thought I was not looking at him he looked at me. Then almost as if drawing breath strengthened by the liqueur he said "My wife and I... we separated."
"Ah!" Why has nobody written to me about it? I asked myself. "And... was it your decision or hers?"
"Well perhaps both of us... I don't know."
"Does she have another man?"
"No I don't think so. Not that I know of at least at the moment."
"Did you quarrel?"
"No never."
"Did she discover something about your past... or about your adventures after you married?"
"No nothing."
"Then I don't understand it..."
"She and I were getting to be more and more like strangers to each other. We both realized it. So we talked about it together and reached the conclusion that it might be better to separate before our relationship became too difficult and we hurt each other."
"But it might be just a temporary separation; you might get back together..."
"No. We have started divorce proceedings. Moreover... I told her I'm gay."
I looked at him with wide eyes "You... you told her... you're gay?"
"Yes, that's right. Just after we decided to get a divorce.
"But you always denied you were gay! You always said that yes you like doing it with men too but that you are bisexual. And you are bisexual fucking hell! What on earth was the sense in telling her such a thing?"
"Because over all these months I have become convinced that I'm really gay. I agree I have no problems fucking with a woman but I prefer doing it with a man - way more! It's useless and stupid to hide it from myself. Maybe I could be bisexual but with a strong gay component. Let's say 70 per cent gay and 30 per cent, if not less, straight. What do you call someone like that? It took me a long time to realise the truth, maybe too long but I know it's true now - I am gay." Giorgio concluded stressing the last three words.
For a while we both kept silent. Then I asked him, "But you don't seem really glad to have given up your marriage ..."
"No? But I am happy about it. I feel rather as if I've been let out of prison now."
"It doesn't look like that. You look troubled... You don't seem at all like someone who has just escaped. You look rather like a beaten dog."
"Yes, you are right."
"Well then what more is there? Don't you want to tell me?"
"To tell you the truth I came all this way with no other purpose than to tell you but now... I don't know if you are going to listen to me. I don't even know if I am going to be able to explain..."
"Well, here I am. We have always been friends haven't we? What is a friend for if not to listen? Try it! Go on..."
Giorgio was squirming on the chair and seemed to be on tenterhooks. Then so quietly that it was difficult to hear him he started to talk and while he talked he averted his eyes from mine.
"I... I don't know where to start... Do you remember when you told me you were in love with me? Well, on that occasion it was difficult for you to start talking to me. And I told you that in my opinion it is not easy for two men both to be friends and also to have sex together. Well there was the exception of that long night in Venice but... they say that the exception proves the rule don't they? I've always been certain that with men I either fuck and I like doing that a lot or I'm just a friend. And you have always been a really special friend to me. Beyond any doubt, the best friend I ever had.
"Well, that night in Venice stayed inside me and got me worm-eaten. It gradually ate up all my self-assurance. When I started to search for some boys with whom to amuse myself after I married; after each fuck a little voice inside me kept saying - but with Nicola it was different; it was infinitely better. But why? Because it was not just a question of a good fuck or of a beautiful cock or a beautiful arse or... With Nicola there was something indefinable that made the most banal things special.
"I mean - it is really nice to have a firm hot cock in your mouth. But having you in my mouth wasn't just nice. A nice soft welcoming little arse, tight and eager, is for sure something exciting. But your little arse that night in Venice was way more than simply exciting. I was not getting just pleasure but something more precious something indefinable that no other arse ever gave me. Being fucked in the arse by someone who is really skilled can take you to heaven. But when you took me there in Venice it was not just ecstasy... it was something more - a lot more.
"You see how this woodworm was torturing me. What had there been in Venice that was so special? For sure Nicola is really good in bed I was thinking. But some of the boys I had were really very good too. Then there was a time when I thought I had found the answer - that the something more was friendship. But then I said to myself in my confusion that friendship and sex can co-exist and make intercourse more beautiful. Well, yes I had to admit that. But I hadn't yet killed the woodworm and it was still eating into me and consuming me... I had sex with some more friends. Maybe you know about it... It was not so very different from sex with the other boys or even with some of the best johns from my past. But with my friends it was just a really nice time with someone else. But with you in Venice... Well then I thought - what can have made that single occasion in Venice so special?
"It took me some more time to come to understand what that was and I only did so a few days ago. So I decided to tell my wife I am gay and we started divorce proceedings and I asked the bar where I work for a week's leave and came here to you..."
He became silent and looked at his shoes nervously grasping one hand in a tight fist with the other. All through his speech I listened to him with the utmost attention observing the smallest changes in the expression on his face and noticing the inflexion of each word and of each sentence and while his confession was progressing I gradually felt my head buzzing and spinning and felt my temples beating more and more strongly and my throat tightening too.
After a few seconds of silence I spoke with difficulty and asked, "And... what in your opinion was that something that made our Venetian night special? Do you know what it was? Have you really understood it and realised what it was?
"Yes..." he exhaled - his voice choked with emotion.
"Well then?" I pressed him.
"It's... love." He almost whispered and finally his eyes looked for mine openly.
"Love?" I echoed. I didn't understand what was going on. I wasn't sure whether I was feeling more confused or more moved. "My love for you or..." I prompted him again trying to keep my voice steady.
"Love, just love. I mean... your love for me and my love for you."
"You means that..." my heart was widening, warming and brightening...
"I mean that I'm the most shitty bastard of all the shitty bastards of all creation including the aliens!" Giorgio said with some vehemence. "I mean that I always loved you. I loved you from the first moment I met you and I was never properly aware of it. I never wanted to admit it not even to myself. I wasted months no years of my life... and of yours! And perhaps... now that I've understood it - now that I've understood how much I need you and I need your love and to give you my love... maybe you have got tired of waiting. You might have found someone else; maybe there is no room for me in your heart any more."
As he said this, Giorgio was speaking louder and louder and was almost hysterical and ready to burst into tears as he finished. And he had sat up straighter and pushed his chest out and seemed almost proud to be a man.
He suddenly stopped and it was as if he deflated and his shoulders bent down and he went back to looking at the floor. I was in a completely confused state and he may have interpreted my silence and lack of response as a kind of refusal or of coldness or of detachment.
He resumed talking very quietly as he had at first, "Of course I didn't really expect that you would wait me for all this time. I couldn't expect that of you, no. But... but I had to tell you. I had to ask you for forgiveness. Yes, that's why I came here. I will leave when you want - at once if you want me to."
"You had to tell me..." I asked still unbelieving (in my mind though my heart already believed it) about that avalanche of words and of emotions.
"That I love you. I have always loved you even though I didn't realise it and even though I didn't know. That I regret I didn't realise it earlier. And to ask you to forgive me... and if... and if..." and for the first time since I had known him and that wasn't a little thing for the first time I saw silent tears flow down his beautiful cheeks and a mute sob shake his chest.
My emotion was reaching unbearable levels. My whole body was aching it was completely screwed up by the sudden, unexpected and incredibly strong emotion.
Keeping my voice level with even greater difficulty I pressed him "And if..."
"And if you... if you chase me away; if I came too late; I will go. But you must first forgive me... at least forgive me... forgive me..." he repeated in a heart-broken diminuendo.
I then stretched my hand out on the table between us and touched his tight fist contracted into a knot and traced over it with my fingertips and squeezed it and with a sudden movement he turned his hand over and seized mine and clung to it like a shipwrecked man.
With a weird voice that was hardly recognizable broken as it was by the emotion that was trying to stop me I said, "But ... Giorgio... I have always loved you. I have never stopped loving you not even for a moment. I came up here to Amsterdam to try to forget you and to leave you in peace and I came out of the love I felt and am still feeling for you but it didn't work. I love you Giorgio. Yes I love you. I have nothing to forgive you for because I love you. I love you more than anything in the world... more than myself."
Giorgio seemed to collapse. He leaned his forehead on the back of my hand still clinging his hand and gave free vent to his tears. I stretched out my other hand and ruffled his hair and then I leaned over and put my head on his and cried with him. At last we could let our emotions flow out of us and freely flow away and the tension could finally be relieved.
Without moving Giorgio murmured, "Then... would you accept my love?"
"Yes..."
"And... do you want to come and live with me?, Nicola"
"Certainly."
"Will you come to Italy with me?"
"I can't come immediately. I have to give notice... But I will come. I will come as soon as possible."
"Oh, Nicola, Nicola, Nicola... if you knew how beautiful it is being able to tell you - I love you. I was crazily afraid I would have to go back alone without you and without your love... I was scared to death believe me. How could you stand my refusal for all this time and go on loving me and not go crazy?"
"It's... love that made that possible too."
Hansel came into the kitchen, knocking at the door to warn us. He looked at us and saw our faces wet with tears and worriedly asked, "What happened? My god, what happened?"
I smiled him in my tears and said, "Giorgio came to take me away..."
"Away? Why? What happened, then?"
"He realised he is in love with me... at last."
Hansel's eyes grew large and he looked at us unbelieving and then brightened up gave a yell of joy and said, "But why are you crying? You should dance with joy not cry! I was afraid some accident had happened! And you are there like Mary Magdalene consoling Mary under the cross! You should be in each other's arms held so tight that you could not get a hair between you" Come on. Stand up and hug you silly boys!"
We did it at first moving almost as if in slow motion and then faster and faster and really there wasn't room for even a hair between our bodies. I could feel Giorgio's body sticking to mine and I felt his warmth reaching me through our clothes and wrapping me like a cocoon. I could feel his body shiver searching for mine and trying to cancel out the distance between us and to make me understand better than with words how much he wanted me. I felt his erection waking up and pushing against me so strong and so sweet. I felt his arms holding me tight with transport and passion and his hands searching me and feeling me. I felt his sweet lips on mine open and his tongue searching mine...
Neither of us was conscious of Hansel's presence any more. And none of us heard him going away on tip toe and putting on his jacket and going out of the apartment silently after giving us a last heartfelt smile.
Neither of us could say how we got on the bed without any clothes left on our bodies, entangled, united and our limbs intertwined. We were in a trance - in ecstasy - in paradise. The bed welcomed us as if we were a single body. We were stroking each other with our eyes lost in the other's eyes and they were bright and filled with stars and our smiles were warmer than the spring sun waking up the whole of nature and our passion burned hotter than the summer sun.
We took each other again and again. We united in all ways. Feeling his manly vigour invading me was so very sweet. Sinking into him again was overwhelming. Without uttering a single word our bodies pronounced complete orations to each other. With our members we wrote love poems on the white sheet of our beloved one's body. With our bodies we sealed endless love letters that we wrote with our glances, caresses, kisses and hugs of our second wonderful encounter.
Hansel told us that he came back home a few times without our realising he had - the first time two hours later, the second time three hours later still. Then he left a note for us on the kitchen table to tell us he was going to sleep at a friends' house. Wasn't Hansel sweet? We found his note only late at night around two o' clock that is about eight hours after our first embrace. Feeling hungry we ate and then went back to bed and started to make love desperately again.
+++++++++++++++
The following morning I had to leave him to go to Higgins'.
"You really have to go love?"
"Yes, it's work. But we will meet soon..."
"I'll be longing for you do you know? Now that I know I'm in love with you and that you are in love with me, each minute without you will be never-ending."
"The day will come when you will feel the seconds spent with me are never-ending you'll see!"
"I really don't think so you know? No, I absolutely don't think so."
I leaned down to give him a little kiss but he captured me and it was a long kiss full of desire. I had to wriggle away and run before I surrendered to the temptation to undress again.
When I got to Higgins' Hansel seemed surprised to see me.
"I was already planning to excuse your absence by telling them you woke up with a fever..."
"I really have a fever." I giggled while I was undressing to take a shower.
Hansel was somewhat worried and put a hand on my forehead.
"No, not that kind of fever. Another kind!" I said
He then smiled and nodded with a thumbs up and a conspiratorial air.
"And thank you for last night my friend," I said getting under the shower.
"My duty... and my pleasure." he yelled to me.
That day I was so radiant that practically everybody asked me if by chance I was in love. I answered yes to everybody without explaining anything. Then they tried to find out from Hansel but he with a blank face said he knew nothing. Work seemed to last for ever and luckily I didn't get an external call so I could go back home. Hansel came back home with me.
I found Giorgio still in bed but fully awake and as naked as I left him. When he saw Hansel he made as if to cover himself but my friend said, "No, don't bother; I'm going to undress too. In this house we are used to spending more time naked than dressed. In your home in Italy it was like that too wasn't it?"
"That's true; it's just that I wasn't used to it any more."
"Mmhhh, you're a splendid man. My friend Niki really has very good taste. And... judging it now that it's soft I understand why your nickname was Stallion."
"No Hansel it was not so much for its size," I chipped in while I was undressing like him "but on account of how he uses it!"
Giorgio protested, "You are making me as red as a tomato, you two!" and he really blushed a little.
++++++++++++
Hansel let us use the apartment for the whole time Giorgio stayed in Amsterdam ("I will have too much room when you take Niki away!" Hansel answered to Giorgio's protests). I discussed at length with Giorgio about our future. He wanted me to leave my job.
"I'm no angel so I can't tell you what to do. I did it and enjoyed doing it too... But I would like us to be enough for each other, do you see? During the day while you were at work I found that I felt jealous of you... If you want to go on anyway ... I can't certainly insist on anything. I only want you to be happy my love."
"No, it would not be a burden to give it up I'm sure. But I'm not able to do anything else you know ..."
"You could work as a barman with me... You would earn less money but it would be enough to live on. I have become rather good at it and I could teach you."
So, we gradually came to an agreement about everything.
I had given notice to Higgins and had to work for two more weeks. Giorgio had to go back to his job in Italy. I would take advantage of the time he was away to go round and see all my friends to say goodbye to them and settle all my affairs (while Giorgio was with me whenever I was free I was with him at home; I spent all my free time with him). I would then go back to Italy and to begin with I would go back to the apartment with Zio and the other friends and stay there until Giorgio and I could find some independent accommodation. Giorgio had left the apartment he had shared with his wife so he was temporarily living at the house of one of his former johns (but not in his bed he assured me). We would put together all our savings and try to get the management of a bar just to get started.
+++++++++++++
The person who said farewell to me with greatest affection (though it would be difficult to put my friends in their order of merit) was Gigi. His sincere joy when I told him about Giorgio and me was proof of how affectionate he was to me. Hansel had agreed with Zak that when I left Zak would take my place. I called Gilmar to give him the news, and he expressed his joy for us and burst out into a kind of Indian war shout. He told me that everything was going on really fine with his Jean Luc too and that they were still absolutely in love and it was always great making love to him. He wanted to fix a day for Giorgio and me to go to their place to meet his Jean Luc. Also Pieter and Jan were delighted for me.
Jan said, "When one is happy to be together as Pieter and I are, knowing that another happy couple exists warms our hearts, believe me. I wish you to be at least as happy as Pieter and I are."
Finally everything was ready. Sean took me to the airport in his car and I went back to Italy. Giorgio was waiting for me at the airport with a present - a white gold ring with two small solitaires set on it.
"They are you and me - united for ever." he told me.
I kissed him (a small quick kiss) there in the hall in the middle of all the passengers and he blushed in a really nice way. He wasn't on his bike because he knew I had a lot of luggage so he took me by taxi to the apartment where Jimmi and Sparrow were waiting. They made a great fuss of me. Then Mauro came home from his school, and later MemŽ and Zio came home too.
Zio suggested Giorgio move here too - Sparrow could go and sleep with Jimmi and Mauro so we could have a room for us two alone. Sparrow agreed at once. . Giorgio agreed too and said that the very next day he would start to move his belongings. I was really happy. When we told them about our plan to find a bar to manage, Zio told us that if we needed a loan he had a good nest-egg at the bank and he would willingly lend it to us. Giorgio thanked him but said we would just try to do it with means of our own.
Later Jimmi in private told me that he found Giorgio remarkably changed (for the better) - more self-confident and more manly - more responsible and less "middle class". And also more peaceful and smiling than usual.
"Even more beautiful." he concluded.
I thought that I really hadn't ever met anybody as beautiful as Giorgio but then asked myself if it was not just my love that made me see him as beautiful. He really is beautiful - that's undeniable - but perhaps for other people he isn't the non plus ultra the way he is for me. I was in love with Giorgio as a person but I also loved the smallest part of his body - his nose, his lips, his eyes, his hair, his hands... well, of course also his cock and so on.
Who knows why it seems so romantic to say that someone has wonderful eyes but not so romantic to say he has a wonderful cock? When I think of Giorgio's cock I think of it as terribly romantic. It's not just an anatomical detail or a tool for pleasure - it's a beautiful and expressive part of him like all the others. But maybe only someone who is really in love would understand me.
+++++++++++++++++
On the street I met Giorgio's ex-wife. I couldn't avoid her because she saw me first and called me.
"You came back." she said.
"Yes."
"For Giorgio I guess." she said, but without any mocking tone in her voice.
"Y... yes."
"I see. He told me he was in love with you. Well, I wish you the best of luck you two."
I then asked her "No ill-feeling?"
She looked at me somewhat surprised "No, really not. Well, I regret it for myself as I chose the wrong person. But I will make a new life for myself. I know that Giorgio was convinced about what he was doing when he married me. He has not been bad with me. And it's not your fault if you two are... as you are."
I nodded, even if in these last words I detected a hint perhaps an unconscious one, of prejudice.
+++++++++++++++
While we were waiting to find a bar to manage, Giorgio persuaded the owner of the bar where he works to hire me as an apprentice. So I started working behind the counter. I noticed with what eyes the women patrons and even some of the men looked at Giorgio - undressing him in their fantasies this not only didn't bother me at all but rather made me proud about my man.
At first my job was mainly washing the glasses and cups and taking refreshments to the tables. Then gradually Giorgio taught me to make coffees particularly cappuccinos (the ones with the heart made with foam that I always admired so much) and sandwiches and plenty of other things and the tricks of the trade. In a few months I was able to do almost everything and Giorgio was very proud of me of his boy.
We have not yet found separate accommodation and we're sorry to be a burden on our friends but they absolutely refused to listen to our apologies. They are always so kind to us!
Mauro is getting to be even more handsome and he is doing well at his school. He has a few johns all of them steady with whom he is at ease and who allow him to earn what he needs so that he isn't a burden on the others especially now that Abdel has moved back to Morocco with his wife and children and can't give him a hand with money any more. Mauro still isn't involved with a lover but he says he doesn't want one until he is finished with his studies.
Sparrow has a good turnover of johns as is demonstrated by his first-rate wardrobe. Without losing his usual good humour he has become more serious and staid. He retains his urchin's air - a little free and easy - that makes him so nice (and attractive). Also physically he is less ephebic than before; he is becoming a man. At home the habit of going around naked hasn't changed so Giorgio and I do it too. I think that Sparrow has got half a crush on Jimmi but he has never hinted to us about it. Amongst us we are discreet about each others' personal feelings. Somehow it has always been like this. What somebody tells us and has put in common can be discussed but no-one interferes in anyone else's business. This is the only way it is possible to live comfortably together in a large group.
Zio and MemŽ are the mainstay of our home; they are now inseparable. They both have a very good group of johns, especially Zio who is really skilled. Zio goes in for his love for reading and he even influenced MemŽ (who by the way has stopped stammering almost completely). He also cherishes his dream that one day he will be able to open his own bookshop with his boyfriend. It's curious how we can't talk about just one of them alone any more but now always include both of them (Zio and MemŽ said... MemŽ and Zio did... and so on). Also MemŽ has become more of a man; he kept his looks and the gentleness of his behaviour. We are all growing up; that's natural.
Jimmi overcame his exhaustion. He still has plenty of johns but they are down to a more reasonable number. He selected the best of them as Zio advised him to. Amongst them there is Fulvio who is always fine. His son doesn't live in Italy any more as he has found a job in London - one less problem. This separation will do Fulvio good. Renato is also amongst his steady johns and keeps on asking him why he doesn't try to become a dancer (as he says Jimmi has the right body) but Jimmi is really not interested at all.
+++++++++++++++++
We had an unexpected stroke of luck. The husband of the old couple living on our landing died and the old woman decided to go and live with her daughter. So their apartment has become vacant. Giorgio went to see the landlord at once and signed the lease. It's a small apartment with two rooms and a kitchen. It's ideal for a couple (without children as Sparrow jokingly specified). So with the help of our friends we cleaned it thoroughly (god, how filthy it was!). We redecorated it and furnished it with a few pieces (simple and not expensive but functional). So at last we have our home but next door to our best friends. (As Sparrow pointed out, "... and so this building is now inhabited only and exclusively by faggots!") We also have a king size bed at last instead of the two single beds just put side by side as they used to be and it is way better for making love.
Each time I make love with Giorgio (that is about once a day) I'm amazed how great it goes on being. After all inside myself I feared that sooner or later routine would take over (but I would have resigned myself to that). Instead, at least so far, nothing has changed even though we have been living together for months. Being near Giorgio and desiring him is just the same thing and as we are together practically twenty-four hours out of twenty-four (that is both at home and at work) this means that I desire him non-stop (and he desires me) so that as soon as we get to be alone we make love. In other words so far it is quite seldom that we have made love at bed time.
Giorgio is really an exceptional boy from all points of view. Apart from when we make love and I call him stallion because he really is (and he calls me colt, just to square the accounts or rather he says "my little colt" or something like that) just talking to him and doing things with him is always a real pleasure. He is really patient with me and he is still teaching me plenty of things. How he managed to become such a perfect barman (amongst other things) remains a mystery to me. That is, it's not really a mystery, as I know he's really intelligent. (At this juncture Sparrow would say that "to the sow her filthy piglets seem beautiful" to pull my leg. To me my "filthy piglet" seems incredibly beautiful and fascinating and so on...)
++++++++++++++++++++
After ages I finally met Gilmar again. He invited us to Geneva to spend the Christmas holiday with him so Giorgio and I went when the bar was closed for three days.
We got a wonderful welcome, from Jean Luc too, who is really a remarkable person. At first he seemed a little cold and very reserved but then when we got to know him better you could see he is a really open-minded and generous person. We could easily see Gilmar is really important to him - maybe even the most important person in his life. So our friend is really well suited with him. Gilmar started to study languages again and it seems that he is getting on rather well.
During our short stay I got to see Jean Luc's body as there is a heated pool in the villa and it was a real surprise. He evidently looks after it very well and it is perfectly proportioned. His clothes don't do him justice although they are elegant. When I told him so he just smiled.
He said, "It is good this way. Other people should not be interested in my body - it is reserved for my Gilmar." (Gilmar in Brazilian is pronounced Jiuma, but Jean Luc pronounces it in the French way, Joumˆ).
We ate Christmas lunch with Jean Luc's family and I noticed that everybody really treats Gilmar like one of the family.
+++++++++++++++++
In February Gigi came to visit us. He was rather depressed because Sean left him. It seems that Sean had had a secret relationship with another boy for some time. Gigi suspected something when although Sean still made love to him he seemed to be doing it in more and more hurry and more and more mechanically.
"Almost as if I was a john he didn't like." Gigi explained to us.
So he tried asking Sean what it was that wasn't working.
"Why?" Sean asked him.
"Because when you make love to me, it is as if you just wanted to come as quickly as possible to put an end to it. I don't feel you are as warm and full of desire as you were any more. Moreover it used to be you that was always looking for me, Now on the contrary you only do it with me when I take the initiative. I would like it if you at least once in a while took me when I wasn't expecting it and you pulled down my trousers and made me yours."
Gigi thought he had spoken clearly and logically. He said that the day after when Sean came back home after he had been to the barbers and Gigi was washing the dishes Sean got behind him held him against the sink without saying a word, roughly pulled down Gigi's trousers and briefs and opened his fly pulled it out and fucked him without even preparing him with some saliva. Every time Sean was ready to come he stopped for a little to avoid his orgasm and then resumed fucking him violently. Sean went on like that for rather a long time until Gigi asked him to stop.
"You wanted it. Don't forget you asked for it!" Sean dryly answered and closed his fly and left Gigi there half undressed unbelieving and sad.
In spite of that Gigi was holding on for his love though it was sore was still alive.
Until one day Seam said to him out of the blue, "I think it would be best if we stop living together."
"Why?" Gigi asked him unbelieving.
"I don't want to talk about it." Sean cut him short, packed his things at once and went away.
We put him in the same room with Sparrow to sleep. We all did our best to cheer him up. From what I know Sparrow did more than the rest of us as he spent almost every night in Gigi's bed. Gigi got on so well with the boys that when it was time to go back to Amsterdam he asked them if he could come and live with them. Zio asked him if he wanted to find a job and Gigi said that he would like to start hustling and to find johns with the boys' help. They discussed it with Gigi (and he discussed it with me too) but he was convinced and determined so in the end everybody agreed and, by the end they were even a bit enthusiastic about it. So Gigi just called the shop in Amsterdam to tell them he wouldn't go back to his job there and he was dismissed.
It didn't take Gigi very long to get a good portfolio of johns. He is a really nice and handsome boy. He seems as merry and relaxed now as he was when I first met him though he is smartened up. Just to think that when I first met him he was a teenager convinced he was straight and even had a girlfriend and now thanks to my initiation he is a gay hustler: self-assured and happy - and that always gives me a certain feeling of amazement. And yet by now I should not be amazed about anything after all the amazing situations I have seen.
When Gigi has a problem with one of his johns however small it is he always comes to ask my advice because he says I am the one he trusts most "his faith in me is boundless" as he says.
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Hansel wrote to me and told me that Zak and he have become lovers though they both still work at Higgins'. He also said that Zak is trying to paint pornographic pictures that are also artistic.
"Who knows why artistic pictures always show nudes seldom with a hard-on but never two men having sex? And yet there is nothing more beautiful and poetic than the coupling of two men especially if they also express love. An arse receiving a cock, or a cock slipping into a mouth can be just as beautiful and poetic too - even sublime?" he wrote.
I replied that I totally agree and that I would really be glad to see the results of Zak's research, as he is in my opinion a really talented boy.
CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 11
In my home page I've put some more of my stories. If someone wants to read them, the URL is
http://andrejkoymasky.com
If you want to send me feed-back, or desire to help revising my English translations, so that I can put on-line more of my stories in English please e-mail at
andrej@andrejkoymasky.com