The usual disclaimers apply: don't read if you are prohibited by location, are under legal age, or if you are likely to be offended by explicit descriptions of gay sex. The story is pure fiction and is not based on any actual events.
Gymnopedies October 2003 gym@softhome.net
Sexual Development - Chapter 10: A Shoulder To Cry On -----------------------------------------------------
Daniel sat under the small, open-sided shelter watching the rain pour down. He was soaked to the skin and so cold that he had hardly the energy left to shiver. He sat hunched over, his arms around himself, rocking backwards and forwards, crying softly as he looked out over the deserted park. He wished he was dead.
His whole life had suddenly fallen apart. He had nowhere to go and no one to turn to. Jason hated him, even his own mother hated him; the memory of the look of hurt and shock on her face when she'd heard he was gay brought on a fresh a wave of tears. By tomorrow the whole school would probably know he was gay, Jason would see to that. Though after the way he had deceived Jason, Daniel didn't blame his former best friend for wanting revenge.
He wondered how long it would take to die of cold. He remembered hearing somewhere that before you died you became all sleepy and didn't feel the cold anymore. He wished that stage would hurry up and come.
The rain was still coming down, continuous, relentless, the sky a miserable, unbroken grey blanket.
"Fucking rain!" Daniel screamed, in a sudden fit of uncontrolled rage. "Fuck Jason! Fuck everybody! Fuck my fucking life!" He lashed out with his foot, kicking a wooden post at the side of the shelter.
The sound of his voice was swallowed up by the grey emptiness and the rain continued to fall.
Time dragged miserably by. Daniel glanced down at his watch. It was coming up to 2.30 in the afternoon. It was almost four hours since his world had been turned upside down and he had fled into the cold and the rain without even a coat. He realised that he was starting to get hungry; he hadn't had anything to eat since the previous evening. Reaching into the sodden pocket of his denim jeans he pulled out his wallet and looked inside. He had a $5 note and a few coins. That wouldn't last for very long. On impulse he opened one of the flaps in his wallet and pulled out a small photograph. It showed himself and Jason, laughing, their arms around each other's shoulders as they sat squeezed up against each other. It had been taken just a month earlier in one of the automatic machines in the foyer of the local supermarket. Daniel gave a smile as he thought back to that day; it hadn't been anything special, just two teenagers larking about. But looking back on it now he'd give everything he had to go back to that time. The edges of his smile turned down and his eyes once more brimmed with tears. Quickly he stuffed the picture back into his wallet. As he put the photograph away, his finger brushed against the edge of a small card. More for something to do than anything else, he pulled it out to see what it was. On the card was a name and a telephone number.
Dr. Adam Lomax Mobile: 0777 34682 4510
For several long minutes, Daniel sat and stared at the card. He remembered Adam giving it to him at the end of their last session; he had given one to Jason was well. The doctor had said that if they had any problems regarding the Study, they were to ring him.
Daniel thought about Adam. The good looking young doctor had always appeared to be so calm and understanding. The teenager wished the man were here with him now, he would know exactly what to do.
He could ring the number.
The thought came out of the blue. The way Daniel felt at the moment, he was desperate just to hear the sound of a friendly voice. He reached back into his pocket for the coins. He had enough for a quick call.
First he had to find a public telephone. That meant going back out into the rain. Luckily it had slowed to a light drizzle, but it was still cold and unpleasant. He wished he'd been able to talk his mother into buying him a mobile phone; he must be one of the few teenagers in the world without one. Except for Jason, of course. Why did almost every thought that came into his head have to remind him of Jason?
There was a public phone at the entrance to the park. It was one of those new modern ones with no sides that offered almost not shelter at all from the elements. His fingers trembling with cold, he fed his coins into the slot and tapped out the number on the keypad.
For several seconds he listened to the phone at the other then ring, then there was a click and a voice said, "Adam Lomax."
Daniel's voice wouldn't work. He stood in silence with his mouth open trying to get the words out.
"Hello? This is Adam Lomax. Anyone there?"
"Doctor Lomax... Adam." The words came out as something between a croak and a sob. "It's Daniel. Daniel Marshall."
"Daniel? What's the matter? Are you ok?"
Daniel was unsuccessfully fighting back tears. "I'm in a mess. I just wanted someone to talk to."
"Where are you, Daniel? Are you at home?"
"No, I'm ringing from a public phone."
"Tell me where you are."
The teenager explained his location.
"Ok," said the doctor. "Stay exactly where you are. I'm leaving the house now, I'll be there in about ten minutes. Don't even think about moving." He hung up.
It was actually less than seven minutes later when a dark blue BMW convertible screeched to a halt beside the telephone and Adam Lomax leaped out. He hurried over to the teenager who had been trying to get what shelter he could from the telephone's small overhang.
"Daniel, what on earth is going on? Just look at the state of you, you're soaked through." Adam pulled off his own jacket and wrapped it around the boy's shoulders. He looked at the youngster's tear streaked face then pulled him close and gave him a comforting hug. "Let's get you home and then you can tell me what this is about."
Daniel started to struggle and tried to pull away. "No, I don't want to go home."
"Hey, take it easy," said Adam, keeping a tight hold. "I meant I was going to take you to my home. But if you would rather go someplace else then just tell me where."
"Your home's ok," said Daniel, weakly. He allowed himself to be lead around to the car's passenger door and bundled inside.
Throughout the short journey to Adam's house, Daniel sat in silence. The car was warm and the deep, leather seats were comfortable and he suddenly felt extremely tired. He was aware of the frequent concerned looks that the doctor cast in his direction, but was grateful to the man for these few moments of quiet. He knew that once they arrived at their destination he was going to have to explain the mess he had gotten himself into.
Eventually, Adam pulled into the driveway of a large detached house.
"You live here?" Daniel asked, staring open mouthed.
"I sure do," the man replied, with a gentle smile. He pushed a button beside the steering wheel and the garage doors in front of them began to move up.
"This place is enormous. How come you live somewhere like this?"
Adam shrugged. "I guess I've just been lucky." The car had pulled into the garage and the doors were sliding silently closed behind them. "Come on, let's have you inside where it's warm." He got out of the car and opened the passenger door for Daniel to climb out. Putting his arm around the boy's shoulders he led him into the house.
The door they went through led into a large kitchen, everything white and gleaming stainless steel.
"This is amazing," said Daniel, temporarily forgetting his problems.
"It's only a kitchen," Adam laughed.
Opposite them a door opened and a young man came though. Slim, medium height, with short, blond hair, spiked at the front, he looked to be around twenty and if anything was even better looking then Adam. He smiled as he saw them. "Hi."
"Daniel, this is my partner, Craig. Craig, this is Daniel."
"Hello, Daniel," said Craig. "It good to meet you. Adam's mentioned you a few times. Well, quite a lot actually."
Daniel realised he was standing with his mouth open. "Erm, yeah. Hello," he said. He was having trouble taking all this in. Adam had introduced Craig as his partner. But that could only mean one thing. Was Doctor Lomax gay?
"I think we should get you out of those wet things," said Adam. "Do you need the loo or anything first?"
"I think I'd better," Daniel replied, feeling dazed.
"Alright, there's one just through here." Adam led the way out of the kitchen into a wide hallway and pointed to a door.
After quickly relieving himself in the toilet, Daniel went to wash his hands. As he did so he glanced up at his reflection in the mirror above the hand basin. The boy staring back at him was hardly recognisable. His brown hair was tangled and matted, his face dirty and tear streaked, but worst of all were his eyes; red rimmed and sunken, they seemed to be totally devoid of even the slightest trace of happiness. Looking at this picture of misery, Daniel was reminded of why he was standing in this relative stranger's house. The event's of that morning, which had been temporarily pushed to the back of his mind, came rushing back to the fore. He gulped in air and a loud sob burst out from between his lips. His arms went around his chest, holding himself, and he found that he was panting for breath. He was breathing rapidly but for some reason was unable to get enough air. He started to feel dizzy and the room began to spin. There was a knock on the door and a voice shouted something, but he couldn't make out what it was saying. He fell back against the wall, gasping and panting. His vision had started to fog over. He was hot. Why was he so hot?
Then strong arms were wrapped around him and a clear, calm voice was telling him to breathe slowly and deeply. He felt a cool cloth wiping his forehead and someone was gently stroking his hair. He opened his eyes and his vision gradually cleared. He was on the floor in the hallway and Adam was holding him in his arms, still speaking slowly, reassuring him that everything was going to be ok. Knelt beside them was Craig, his handsome features set in a concerned expression as he stroked Daniel's face with a damp towel.
"What happened?" Daniel asked, his voice little more than a whisper.
"You just had some sort of panic attack," said Adam. "It's nothing to worry about, you're going to be fine. Just relax and concentrate on your breathing. I want you to breathe really slowly for me."
Adam made Daniel stay where he was until his breathing had returned to normal and the worst of the dizziness had passed. When he was satisfied that the boy was sufficiently recovered, he helped him to his feet and supported him as they moved into the lounge. There was a fire blazing in the hearth and Adam took Daniel to stand directly in front of it.
"Before we do anything else, we need to get you out of these sopping wet clothes," said the doctor. "Craig, could you go get us a couple of towels?"
"No problem," the young man replied. He disappeared back out into the hallway.
Daniel stood passively, allowing Adam to remove his soggy sweatshirt and the equally wet T-shirt beneath.
"You're wet right through to the skin," the doctor observed. "How long were you out in the rain?"
"I dunno," Daniel replied, sniffing. "I was out about for about four hours before I called you. But a lot of the time I was sat in one of the shelters in the park."
"You mean you've been in this state for more than four hours? You'll be lucky if you don't end up with pneumonia! Hold onto my shoulders while I get your shoes and socks off."
After removing the boy's footwear, Adam began to pull open the belt of the boy's jeans. The thick denim trousers were stiff and heavy with the water they had absorbed and they rubbed Daniel's legs as they was pushed down. As the teen stepped out of them, Craig returned with the towels.
"Here you go. These have been on one of the radiators, so they're nice and warm." Craig wrapped one of the towels around Daniel's shoulders and proceeded to rub his chest and back dry.
The towel was indeed warm, as well as being extremely thick and soft. It felt nice, so Daniel wasn't about to object, even if it did feel a little strange having someone he'd only met a few minutes ago performing such an intimate action as drying his body.
However, it did come as a surprise when Adam took hold of the waistband of his briefs and pulled them all the way down, leaving him totally naked.
"I'm going to take these and see if we can get them dried out a bit," said Adam. Gathering up all of Daniel's discarded clothing he headed for the kitchen.
"You're looking a bit better already," Craig smiled, as he continued his vigourous towelling. "You looked like you'd been fished out of the river when Adam first brought you in." After a final rub of the boy's chest and stomach, he handed the towel to Daniel. "I expect you'd rather dry your own private bits."
Self-consciously, Daniel rubbed the towel across his groin and then around the back, before bending over to dry his legs, aware of Craig's eyes on him the whole time. Finally he straightened up and made to wrap the towel around his waist.
"No, give me that one," said Craig. "Wrap this dry one around yourself. " He accepted the damp towel and gave Daniel a fresh one.
As Daniel wrapped the towel around himself, Craig draped another large towel around the boy's shoulders, then put an arm around him and sat him down on the sofa.
What really surprised Daniel was how comfortable he felt with Craig, even though he'd only just met the young man and had spoken hardly a dozen words to him. The arm around his shoulders gave the boy the reassuring feeling that maybe there were people in the world who cared about him after all.
"When Adam said you were his partner, does that mean you're his boyfriend?" Daniel suddenly asked, breaking the silence that had settled as they waited for Adam's return.
"Whoa! Where did that question come from?" Craig laughed. "You sure don't mess about do you? Straight for the jugular. Well, since you asked, yeah, I'm Adam's boyfriend."
Daniel nodded. "I thought that's what he meant. Adam's nice. It must be really cool living with him in this huge house."
"Yeah, it's good living here. And just between you and me, Adam's much more than just nice, he's absolutely, terrifically, incredibly nice. But don't tell him I said so."
"He doesn't need to, I heard." Adam came back into the room with a grin on his face and a steaming mug in his hand. He held the mug out to Daniel. "Drink this. It'll help warm you up."
"What is it?" asked Daniel, accepting the cup and holding it under his nose. It smelled fruity.
"Just hot black currant juice with a couple of spoonfuls of powdered glucose. It might be a bit sweet, but drink it anyway; it'll do you good."
Daniel a took a small sip then pulled a face. Sweet was an understatement. "It's awful!"
"You'd better drink it," Craig laughed. "Or he might decide to give it you intravenously or something." He shot a mischievous look at Adam.
While Daniel sipped his drink, Adam pulled up a chair arranging it so that he was sitting immediately in front of the boy, their knees almost touching. "I think it's time that you told us how you managed to get yourself in such a state," he said, softly.
Sitting on a comfortable sofa, wrapped in soft towels, Craig's arm around his shoulder's and Adam's hand resting gently on his knee, the events of the morning now seemed to Daniel like some sort of bad dream; something that hadn't really happened. But down inside, he knew that what had happened had been all too real and sooner or later he was going to have to face it. "I don't know how to start," he said, he voice sounding like that of a lost little boy.
"Go back right to the very beginning," said Adam, gently. "Just take your time and let it all go."
And that is exactly what Daniel did; he let everything go. It was difficult at first, opening his heart like this and saying things he'd never told a living soul before. But as he went on it got easier, in a way. The hardest thing was explaining his feelings towards other boys, and in particular his feelings about Jason; throughout this part Adam just nodded and smiled, occasionally giving the teen's leg an encouraging squeeze. The hardest part out of the way, Daniel moved on to tell about the arrangement he'd made with Ben in order that he would be able to partner Jason in the study. There was a slight twitching at the corners of Adam's mouth as Daniel related in detail what had happened during his two sessions with Ben and Billy. Daniel explained about the video and how he had been duped. Finally he relived Jason's brief but dramatic visit earlier that morning. He told of Jason's reaction to discovering his best friend was gay and the look he had seen on his mother's face when he turned around and discovered that she had heard every word of his conversation with Jason. During this final part there were fresh tears, which gained him in a comforting hug from Craig and reassuring words from Adam.
When Daniel had finished, Adam let out a long, slow sigh and shook his head. "You've certainly been busy," he said, with a smile. "Though things are probably not quite as bad as what you think they are. When things like this happen, things that affect us emotionally, it always feels like the world is coming to end. But usually it sorts itself out and everything settles down again. We've all been there at some time or another."
"It won't sort itself out this time," Daniel sniffed. "You didn't see how Jason was this morning. He doesn't want anything else to do with me. Then there's the video; suppose Ben decides to start showing it to people."
"Forget the video," Adam replied. "That's easily sorted. As for Jason, I shouldn't think he meant everything he said. Once he's calmed down and had a chance to think things through he'll probably feel completely different."
Daniel shook his head. "Not Jason. Not now that he knows I like boys, not girls. Jason hates gays, he's always saying so."
"Is he indeed?" Adam's smile broadened for a moment and then he looked serious. "Look, Daniel, you've got to consider that Jason probably has issues of his own to deal with. When a boy reaches puberty and his body starts to change and all sorts of things are happening in his head, that can be pretty scary. But if those changes seem to be happening much faster in the other boys around him and he thinks he's being left behind, that can be scarier still. Jason is lagging a little bit behind most boys in his age group. That isn't especially unusual, I've known boys of fifteen or sixteen who are less developed than some twelve year olds; everyone goes at their own pace. But Jason feels insecure because of it and so tries to compensate by talking tough, with lots of machismo and bravado. The chances are that his apparent anti-gay attitude is really just part of that act."
"I guess he does overdo it a bit sometimes," said Daniel, wanting to be convinced. "But it's not just around others, he acts same when it's just him and me."
"Of course he does," said Adam. "You're his best friend. He feels he has to impress you even more than anyone else." He patted Daniel's leg. "All you can do is give him some time and let him get over the shock. Trust me, good friendships can overcome far worse hurdles than this." Adam pushed the chair back and got to his feet. "Now, I think I'd better give your mother a ring, she must be going frantic."
"What will you tell her?" asked Daniel, once again remembering the expression on her face after hearing Jason's outburst.
"I'm just going to let her know that you are safe, that you are at my house, and that I'll be dropping you off at home later."
"You're going to take me home?"
"Of course I am. What did you think was going to happen?"
Daniel shook his head, vaguely. He hadn't really considered anything beyond the present moment. "I thought maybe I could stay here for a while," he said, avoiding meeting Adam's gaze.
The young doctor laughed gently and leaned forwards to stroke the top of the boy's head. "Daniel, if there is ever a time when you need a place to stay, then you will be more than welcome to come and stay here. But this isn't one of those times. You and your mother have some sorting out to do of your own. If it doesn't work out, and having met your mother I would be extremely surprised if it doesn't, then you can always come back."
Adam went out to use the telephone extension in the hallway, closing the door behind him so that he couldn't be heard.
"He's right you know," said Craig. "Everything will work out. I had a real bust up with my parents when I told them I was gay. Mum wasn't so bad about it, but it took Dad a long time before things were right between us. Now though, me and Dad are probably closer than we've ever been."
"How old were you when you told them?" asked Daniel.
"Seventeen. It was about two years ago, just before I moved in with Adam."
"You're only nineteen?" Daniel turned his head so that he could see Craig's face.
"Yeah, I'm Adam's toyboy," Craig laughed. "Mind you, he is only twenty-six himself, and everyone always says he looks much younger than that, so there isn't really a big age difference between us."
"I don't suppose." Daniel let himself relax back against Craig. The older teen's arm had moved down behind his back and Craig's finger's had slipped under the edge of the towel and were lightly stroking the bare skin at the side of Daniel's chest. It felt nice.
A couple of minutes later, Adam returned. Daniel looked up at him, feeling a bit apprehensive about what had been said during the call to his mother.
"You've nothing at all to worry about there," said Adam. "She was a bit upset because she's been so worried about you and she was relieved to hear that you're alright."
"Did she say anything about what she heard this morning?"
"Neither of us said anything about you being gay. That's between you and her." Adam crouched down in front of Daniel. "She wasn't angry or anything like that, just worried. I'm sure that once you've had chance to talk to her everything will be fine." He got back to his feet. "I'm going to go sort out something to eat; I told your mother we'd feed you before we sent you back. You must be starving by now. While I do that, Craig can take you upstairs and see if he can find something suitable for you to wear. Your own clothes aren't going to be dry for a while yet. Craig's got more clothes than anyone could possibly wear in one lifetime so I'm sure he won't mind lending you something and he's not too far off your size."
"Hey, this is going to be fun." A sparkle had appeared in Craig's eyes. "Come on," he said, getting to his feet and pulling Daniel up after him. "I've got some stuff that will look great on you."
Adam gave a long, dramatic sigh. "Why do I get the feeling this might not have been one of my better ideas? Craig, try and remember that he's only fourteen and that we're sending him back to his mother. Choose something appropriate; no leather, nothing skin-tight, and no half-shirts or anything that shows too much skin. I don't want him going home looking like a rent-boy."
"As if I'd put him in anything like that. You go take care of the food and leave him in my capable hands." With a grin, Craig led a bemused Daniel from the room.
"Wow, doctors must be paid really well for Adam to be able to afford a house like this," Daniel remarked as he followed Craig up the stairs, his bare feet sinking into the thick carpet.
Craig gave a laugh. "You must be joking. While he's working on this study he's not actually employed by anybody, so he doesn't even get a salary. He was given a research grant before he started, but most of that went on equipment, so basically he's working for nothing."
"How come he lives somewhere like this then?"
"Because he's loaded. Though I probably shouldn't be telling you that. His family owns most of one of the countries biggest drugs companies. It means that Adam never has to worry about money, he works because he wants to. Oh, and also because he enjoys it. But then again, who wouldn't if their job involved getting their hands on cute boys like you every day. A lot of people, including me, would pay to have a job like that."
Daniel found himself blushing and quickly looked away.
"In here," said Craig, leading the way into a bedroom.
It was a large room, but it was dominated by the biggest bed Daniel had ever seen. The bedclothes were all black, with a red trim around the edge of the bed. The teenager stood and looked at it, his mouth open.
"Nice, isn't it?" said Craig. "I chose the black, I think it makes it look really sexy."
"Yeah."
Craig had walked over to one of the walls which was filled along it's entire length, from floor to ceiling, by a fitted wardrobe. "Now, let's see what we got. Underwear first." He pulled open a drawer. "How about these?" He held up a pair of white cotton boxers.
"Calvin Klein," said Daniel, reading the name from the waistband. "I've never worn anything like that. I usually just have ordinary briefs. Mum buys them for me usually," he admitted, shyly.
"Here, try 'em on." Craig tossed them across to the youngster. "They're the small size so they shouldn't be too bad."
Daniel pulled the towel off from his shoulders, dropping it on the floor. He stepped into the boxers, but as he tried to pull them up the towel around his waist got in the way so he threw that aside as well. It felt a little bit strange, exposing himself like this in front of the older teen, but Craig had already seen him naked anyway, so what the hell! He pulled up the boxers, feeling Craig's eyes on his body.
"They don't fit too bad," the nineteen year old observed. "Could do with being a bit tighter in places, but they'll do. They show off your package nicely at the front. Turn around, let's see what they look like from the back."
Trying not to blush, Daniel self-consciously turned a full circle. He had to admit, they did feel pretty good, different from the briefs he normally wore. He liked the way they seemed to hug his body. He caught sight of himself in full length mirror on one of the wardrobe doors. They didn't look bad at all. "I think I'm going to get myself some of these," he grinned. "Do they cost much?"
"About twenty quid. If you like them then keep that pair. It's worth the price just to see you in them. They fit really nice around your arse, by the way."
This time Daniel did blush. He tried to hide it by turning around and pretending to be looking at his bottom in the mirror.
"I suppose I'd better find you something to put over the top of them," said Craig. "A shame really, you look really hot like that." He turned back to the drawers. "Trousers would be a problem; my legs are longer than yours. These should work though." In his hands were a pair of faded blue denim shorts. Cut off at about mid-thigh, the leg holes were ragged and frayed. He passed them across then opened another drawer and pulled out a belt. "You're gonna need something to make sure they don't slip down."
While Daniel pulled on the shorts, Craig pulled open one of the wardrobes and began sorting through a pile of clothing on one of the shelves. With a big grin on his face he turned back to the younger boy. "Perfect." He was holding up a black mesh T-shirt against his own chest.
"It's see-through," observed Daniel, eyeing the garment a little apprehensively.
"It's going look incredible on you. Here, try it on."
"I dunno." With more than a few reservations, Daniel accepted the shirt and pulled it down over his head. He tucked it into the shorts and fastened up the belt, then turned to look at himself in the mirror. His chest was clearly visible through the fine mesh. For some reason he now felt more exposed and on show than he had when he was shirtless.
"You look sexy as hell," said Craig. "Walk down the street like that and you'll have guys following you with their tongues hanging out."
"Maybe," Daniel admitted, staring at his reflection speculatively . "But I'm not sure I want to go home looking like this."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. Adam would probably flip if I sent you downstairs in that," sighed Craig. Then he suddenly grinned. "Though it would be worth it though just to see the look on his face. Better take it off and I'll find you something else."
The "something else" turned out to be a grey, hooded sweatshirt. It was about four sizes too big and not the least bit sexy, but at least it was warm and comfortable and felt soft against Daniel's skin. A pair of thick, grey, cotton socks and some brown sandals completed his attire.
"Not bad," announced Craig, stepping back to view his creation. "It's a sort of the 'Little Brother' look. Makes you look cute. I think Adam will approve."
"No leather in sight," smiled Daniel, remembering Adam's instructions. "Except the sandals."
"That's not really what he had in mind," said Craig. "He wanted to make sure I didn't put you in something like this." He reached into the wardrobe and took out a hanger holding a black leather waistcoat. "I wear this sometimes when I go out clubbing. It looks best when it's worn open, without a shirt. I bet you'd look good in it." He gave a mischievous grin. "I'll tell you what. When you get yourself sorted out and you're feeling a bit happier about things, come around sometime and we'll try some of this stuff on you. If you're feeling really adventurous, I've some things that will make your eyes pop out."
"Yeah, ok. Maybe I'll do that," said Daniel. He liked Craig, even though he'd only just met him. The nineteen year old had a sort of infectious happiness that made him fun to be around, yet at the same time he appeared to be gentle and caring. The young teen decided that he would really like to get to know the older boy better.
Craig slid the drawers back into place. "We'd better get down and see what the boss is doing. If we're up here too long he might start to think that we're doing more than trying on clothes. Come on, let's go see what he's got for us to eat."
Adam had prepared a stir-fry with strips of beef and vegetables. It was almost ready by the time they got downstairs, and while Adam finished off, Daniel helped Craig to lay the table. There was also salad and a huge bowl of rice; enough food to feed an army. Which was good thing because Daniel discovered that he was hungrier than he had ever been in his life. By the time they had finished eating, the plates and bowls were empty and Daniel sat back in his chair, full and happy.
"Had enough?" asked Adam.
"Yeah, that was delicious. Thanks."
"Good. It's nice to know that we're going to be sending you home in a better condition than when you arrived."
At the mention of home, Daniel's face fell. For the past couple of hours, trying on clothes, laughing and joking with Adam and Craig as they ate their meal, it had been like he was living in a different world; somewhere where he didn't have any problems or anything to worry about. It had been easy to forget that real life was out there waiting for him to return.
"It'll all work out alright," said Craig, seeing the expression on Daniel's face. He reached out and put his hand on top of the younger boy's.
"You need to get things sorted out with your mother," said Adam, with a gentle smile. "I told you earlier that she's not angry or anything, so you really have nothing to worry about. I think I should run you over there now. If we put it off any longer you'll only get worked up about it. Besides, if we go now it gets me out of doing the dishes. Craig can do them while I'm out." He winked at Daniel and turned to give his partner a smug grin.
"And you think you've got problems," Craig said to Daniel. "At least you're not stuck in a life of domestic slavery. I spent all morning on my hands and knees cleaning the toilet bowls with a toothbrush. I'll get the last laugh though." He leaned forwards and whispered theatrically into Daniel's ear. "It was his toothbrush that I used."
"Ugh! That's gross," Daniel laughed.
"You've probably noticed that my boyfriend has a sick and twisted imagination," said Adam, with a grin and a shake of his head.
The joking continued for another few minutes, until Adam decided that it really was time that he took Daniel home. The teenager's clothing was still damp, so they put it into a bag for him. Since it was still raining slightly outside, Craig loaned the boy one of his coats, which was really a bit too big, but would at least keep him dry when he got out of the car.
"I meant what I said upstairs about you coming back again," said Craig as Daniel stood in the kitchen ready to depart. "I've got a Playstation and a lot of the games are much more fun with two people. Adam's usually too busy for games, so it would be good to have someone else to play them with. Or if you don't want to play games, we could always watch one of Adam's dirty videos."
"I think it's time to go," Adam put in quickly. "Before you corrupt him completely."
"I'll come back, I promise," said Daniel. He turned to follow Adam through the door into the connecting garage, but Craig grabbed his arm and pulled him back.
"Come here," said the older teen. He put his arms around the boy and hugged him tightly. "I hope everything goes alright when you get home. I'm sure it will do. Adam's got your phone number in his book; I'll steal it when he's not looking and give you a ring in a couple of days to see how you got on."
"Ok." Daniel found he had a tear in eye from this sudden and unexpected show of affection. He briefly hugged Craig back.
"You'd better go," said Craig. "If he's kept waiting he'll be in a bad mood for rest of the night."
"I'm never in a bad mood," said Adam, watching them from the doorway. "Though that might change if these dishes are not done by the time I get back."
It wasn't far to Daniel's home. Just a few minutes by car. Daniel could feel the tension mounting as they came closer and he wondered what his mother would say to him when he arrived.
"Stop worrying about it," said Adam. "I keep telling you than things will be fine. I know it's a big thing, your mother hearing about you like that, but it could all work out for the best in the end."
"Yeah, I suppose," Daniel replied, unconvinced.
"Looks like you were a big hit with Craig," said Adam, changing the subject. "He's really taken to you."
"He's really nice," Daniel agreed. "Is he always like that? You know, laughing and joking all the time?"
"A lot of the time. But he has his serious moments as well; there's a lot of pain and hurt inside him. He went through a pretty bad time a few years ago, so he knows first hand how you've been feeling."
"What happened to him?" Daniel asked.
"Oh, like you, he got himself into a bit of a mess. Things got out of control and he ended up something like you did today, only quite a bit worse."
"Worse?" asked Daniel.
"Yes, worse. But it's Craig's story, so I'll leave it for him to tell it." Adam slowed the car and turned into the drive of Daniel's house. "Right, you ready?"
Daniel nodded, nervously. It wasn't as if he really had any choice.
"I'll stay in the car. Just remember that whatever happens, your mother does love you and there are other people who care about you. If you need me at any time I'm just on the other end of the phone."
Feeling sick, Daniel opened the car door and stepped out, the bag of clothes in his hand. As he walked up to the door he glanced back at Adam, who gave him an encouraging wave. At the door he paused, not sure if he had the courage to go in. However, as he reached for the handle, the door opened and his mother was standing there.
For a moment they just stood and looked at each other. Daniel felt a lump in his throat and his eyes filled with tears. He had to struggle to make his voice work. "Mum? I'm sorry," he managed to croak, just as the tears started streaming down his face.
"Oh, Daniel."
His mother's arms were around him, so tight that he could hardly breath. She too was crying. And Daniel knew instantly that Adam had been right. His mother loved him and everything was going to be ok.
Daniel lay on his bed reading. He'd showered and put on a pair of ordinary soccer shorts. The clothes that Craig had loaned him, including the white underwear, lay neatly folded on top of his drawers, ready to be returned. Craig had told him he could keep the Calvin Kleins, but at twenty pounds a throw they were a rather expensive gift, and the boy had decided he had better return them, even if they did feel great and look really good on him.
The reunion with his mother had been emotional, with him repeating over and over that he was sorry, and her telling him not to be silly and saying how worried she'd been about him. After all the hugs and tears, they had watched TV together for a while, had a snack and then Daniel had said he was going up for a shower. Neither of them had yet referred directly to the reason for him running off. Daniel knew that sooner or later he was going to have to talk to her, but he just didn't know how to start.
There was a light knock and the bedroom door opened a fraction. "Can I come in?" His mother's voice came through the small crack.
"Yeah, I'm decent," Daniel replied, glad that he'd decided to put on the soccer shorts and not the CKs.
His mother came in, hesitantly. She wore a tight smile as she walked across and sat on the edge of the bed. "I think there are some things that we need to talk about," she said.
Daniel slowly closed the book and laid it aside. He began to play with his fingers, unable to meet her gaze.
There was a long silence, that quickly became uncomfortable.
"I already knew, you know," she said, eventually. "Or I'd a good idea, anyway."
"You knew?" Daniel's eyes flicked up to look at his mother. This news had certainly taken him by surprise. How could she possibly have known?
She nodded. "You and Jason have always seemed to be especially close, but recently it's started to look like more than that. The slightest little disagreement between you makes you start acting like the bottom has fallen out of your world. I guessed that there was more going on between you than just being friends. Then, there's the way you always perk up and take an interest when a good looking boy appears on TV; you never seemed to be quite as interested in the girls.
Daniel was fighting not to blush. Hearing these things from his mother was embarrassing. "If you knew, then why did you look at me like you did this morning, after Jason had run off? You looked angry."
"Of course I was angry," his mother replied. "And I was upset. But that was for you, not because of you. This morning was a bit of a shock for me as well you know." She smiled and stroked his face, like she used to do so often when he was younger. "It was seeing how much you had been hurt that upset me."
"So doesn't it bother you, knowing that I'm... That I'm gay?" There, he'd finally said the word in front of her.
"If I'm honest, I'd have to admit the idea did take a bit of getting used to. But I've had time to think about it. All that matters, really, is whether you're happy. If you are happy, then I can be happy."
Daniel looked back down at his fingers, smiling shyly. "I thought you'd hate me," he said.
"Sometimes you can be really daft." She shook her head, smiling affectionately. "I've been dropping hints trying to get you to tell me for ages now, but you've kept ignoring them. I didn't dare ask you right out, in case I'd got it wrong. Imagine what your reaction would have been if I'd asked you if you were gay and you weren't. You'd never have forgiven me. As it was, I didn't get everything right. I was convinced that you and Jason were doing much more than measuring while you were closeted up here together."
"Mum!" Daniel gave an embarrassed grin.
"I'm sorry," she said, with a short laugh. "It just seemed the obvious conclusion to jump to at the time." She stopped laughing and her expression turned sad. "You weren't very fair on Jason, you know."
"I know." Just the thought of their friendship being over was enough to cause the prickling of tears behind Daniel's eyelids. He became annoyed with himself; all he seemed able to do today was cry.
His mother rubbed his leg. "Try not to worry about it. You've been friends for a long time and I'm sure once Jason has had time to calm down, you'll be able to talk to him. He'll understand." She got up off the bed. "Get some sleep, everything will look better in the morning." Leaning over, she kissed him on the forehead. "Have a good night," she whispered.
"Good night, Mum," Daniel replied, as his mother closed the door behind her. Would everything look better in the morning, he wondered. He wished he could believe that.
End of Chapter 10
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