Hey people, i'm sorry it took so long to finish this chapter but here it is. I hope to bang out another one in the next month at least lol. have good days all.
"Hey whats up?" I asked after recovering from a second or two of shock.
"Some stuff. What was so funny when you answered?"
"I umm... I'm a dork you have no idea," I said laughing again.
After she convinced me (very easily because... c'mon I couldn't refuse her anything already) into explaining to her how I had somehow missed the leg on my shorts and ended up on my face just before answering the phone I was fully awake. We talked for half an hour about nothing really important before there was a short lull in the conversation. To me it seemed like she was about to say something but stopped.
"Hey, umm...what are you doing this after noon... around sevenish?" Isabelle finally asked.
"Anything you want," I said quickly and automatically regretted because I knew I sounded to eager.
Laughing a little she said, "That's good to hear. How does the mall and a movie sound to you?"
"Pretty good actually," I said thinking of being able to get to know her better so soon.
"Great! How do you feel about blind double dates?" she asked out of nowhere.
Hit with sudden disappointment in realizing she was trying to set me up with someone other than herself I couldn't speak or decide whether I should be honest and possibly extinguish any chances of seeing her tonight or lie and still get to spend time with her even if she would be with someone else.
"My boyfriend Joey has been trying to find one of his friends a date because he is too shy. You don't have to worry about him being ugly. Trust me he is really cute... So what do you say?"
Thinking for a few seconds I finally said, "I'll go if you want me too. At least we will get to hang out right?"
"Yep. And of coarse I want you to come! Why do you think I asked you? Ok his name is David...he is 19.. he is REALLY shy... but he is pretty nice after you get to know him. He just has a hard time with new people I guess," she said giving me the details.
My mind was still reeling over the sudden disappointment. Does she really have no clue how I feel about her? It really sucks to be picked up that high and then dropped without any warning like that. But being a glutton for punishment I always let people I like do this to me over and over again. I always have that thought in the back of my mind that maybe they will change or realize what they are doing and stop. "Starting so soon" I thought to myself of Isabelle hurting me.
After setting up the time and place where we were to meet we hung up and I know she could tell that I suddenly had a lot less to say. She asked what was wrong but of coarse I said nothing. I went about my day thinking of almost nothing else but about how she confused me so much. I KNOW there is something there. People just don't have those kinds of vibes stemming from nothing. I know I have a good imagination but not THAT good.
As I get ready I always turn up the music I love to get me pumped up and set my mind in the mode to make people happy. It's not that I feel I have to make people happy it is just that it makes me happy to know I'm making people happy. Gotta keep myself happy right? So I danced around my room and bathroom to my techno mix on Winamp and after putting on my little bit of make-up that I wear I smiled at myself in the mirror. I know I'm going to have to use that seemingly real smile a lot tonight if I can no longer sense any connection between Isabelle and myself.
When I was sure I was ready I sat in front of the TV and watched the clock on the VCR instead of the images flashing on the screen of some music video. After the three longest minutes of my life I heard the doorbell ring above the Staind video of "It's Been a While" I had turned up because.. well... it's a great song. As I felt my stomach turn to knots I looked in the mirror on the way to the door. It's a good thing I show no emotion because if I did everyone would be able to tell how nervous I was. But that is one thing I has always cursed me and blessed me... I show little emotion. It's a blessing at times like these but a curse when I really need someone to talk to and don't want to tell anyone something is wrong.
I could see Isabelle's smiling face on the other side of the door as I approached. After our greeting she looked at me with a guilty expression.
"I guess I should tell you before we leave that Joey and David cancelled on us. A friend of there's offered them tickets to the Incubus concert in New Orleans tonight and Joey just happened to forget to tell me till after I got off the phone with you," she said apologetically.
"And you still wanted to go out... even without them," I asked trying to figure out these encouraging turn of events.
"Umm yeah.. that's kind of why I didn't call. I didn't want you to cancel on me and I figured your too nice to turn me down at your front door," she said smiling an oh so cute sly smile.
"I sure wouldn't," I replied "I wouldn't have canceled if you'd called either though. Trust me..."
"Great! Let's go," she said happily.
In her car... a sweet restored purple Monti Carlo she says her dad got for her... she told me how Joey always does stuff like this. The more I heard about their relationship the more I realized I might have a chance after all. After about five minutes of driving and talking the radio station we were hardly listening to started fading out and mixing with another station. "Hey you can change the station to what ever you want," she said as she watched the road like the good little driver she was.
I smiled at that thought as I leaned over to do as she had said. After flipping through a few stations Isabelle stopped me and told me to put it back 2 stations. At first I didn't recognize the music but then I realized it was an old station with the original Elvis version of "Can't Help Falling in Love" and I smiled and looked at her and she was smiling back and I could tell we were both thinking the same thought. Jam time... I cranked up the volume all the way and when the words started we both sang along to Elvis's soulful voice as loud as we could without having our voices sound completely terrible.
I can't help but be sitting here thinking this is so cool. We are driving on the highway singing one of the sweetest songs I've ever heard with each other... to each other. Every once in a while during the song she looked at me while she was singing and smiled really big. Every single time I had to smile back because my heart was doing high jumps and it felt so good. When the song was over I turned the radio down and flipped through the stations till I found J-lo singing "I'm real" and decided to leave it.
"Wow girl you can really belt it out," Isabelle said looking at me out of the corner of her eye smiling, "I thought I was the only one who loved that song."
"Thanks," I laughed, "It's one of my all time fav's actually. I listen to it all the time since I downloaded it."
"Oh you have the net? That's great. Write your e-mail down for me later so I can mail you sometime," she said.
After writing it on a piece of paper I had in my purse and giving it to her we continued talking and joking and before we realized it were at the mall. As we walked around the stores chatting and just browsing but not really paying much attention to the cloths I could tell at a few moments she was flirting with me. I wasn't going to let this get my hopes up to much though because I know a few girls who will claim they are straight till the day they die that flirt with anything that walks. Even though Isabelle doesn't seem like that type to me I could be wrong and I don't feel like hurting myself like that right now. When we walked into Gadzooks I gently grabbed her arm and pulled her behind a shelf of shirts and stopped her at a certain spot in front of me.
"Wha.. What are you doing," she asked, slightly alarmed.
"Don't look now but there is someone about 10 feet behind this shelf that I don't want to see me right now," I whispered.
Of coarse the first thing she did was look and she looked back at me with a smile in her eyes.
"Don't tell me your scared of that butch chick over there," she said with a grin.
"Shhh," I hissed when I saw the bobbing short hair of my ex-girlfriend's first ex-girlfriend coming closer.
The last thing I want Isabelle to know right now is that I'm gay. It might scare her away before she even starts to accept me as a friend. I know that if Sarah sees me she will somehow bring it up to spite me in case it will get me in trouble with who ever I happen to be with. My ex sort of broke up with her for me so that's why she has a grudge against me.
"Oh wow your right! This "I have issues" shirt is cute," Isabelle said holding up a tank top as Sarah rounded the corner and was almost upon us.
"Hey Val, long time no see," Sarah said as she walked up to us.
"Hi Sarah, this is Isabelle. How you doin," I asked in the best fake happy-to-see-you voice I could muster.
"Good good," she said as she looked Isabelle up and down... pissing me off already, "is Isabelle just your uh.. friend?"
"No I'm her girlfriend," Isabelle said before I could speak and smiled the biggest grin at Sarah.
My mouth dropped open for a second before I realized I should play along but when I looked at Sarah she was still looking at Isabelle with a surprised expression.
"Well that's great...How are y'all doing today," she asked with obvious discomfort.
"We're good...," I replied and trailed off as I felt Isabelle take my hand.
"Yeah we are really good... We are sort of on a date," Isabelle hinted as she gave my hand a little squeeze and I felt currents fly threw my body.
"Oh all right.. Well I'll talk to you girls later then," Sarah said as she walked away, taking the hint.
After she was out of site I looked at Isabelle and she had a questioning expression on her face.
"Spill it," she said flatly.
"Umm.. There is a lot to spill and I don't want to make a mess.. of anything," I said looking at her guiltily.
When I felt her squeeze my hand again I realized she hadn't let go when Sarah had disappeared. When I looked at our hands unintentionally she seemed to realize what she was doing and somewhat hesitantly let go.
"You can tell me, Val, I am a really open minded person and you are great. I doubt you could make me not like you very easily," she said looking into my eyes and I could tell she was being honest.
With her looking at me expectantly I went on and told her about how I knew Sarah and why she really didn't like me. I told her everything about Kiri and about my sexuality and her expression didn't turn to disgust or disapprovement even once during my whole outburst of honesty. When I was done I realized toward the end of my speech I had stopped looking at her and was just staring at my hands. I looked up at her face expecting the worse but she was actually smiling.
"I can understand why you didn't tell me in the first place but I would never condemn someone because of something they can't help," she said just before giving me a soft hug. "I just don't understand why you agreed to a double date with a guy if you don't even like them."
"Well guys can be good friends even if I'm not attracted to them," I said thinking quickly. I still didn't want her to know that I liked her because it might make the rest of the "date" uncomfortable. "And you seem really nice and I would at least get to hang out with you some."
At that she smiled and took my arm as we headed out into the bustle of the mall. This girl confused me so much. I couldn't tell if anything she was doing was out of friendship or something more. She knows my secret and didn't reject me immediately so that's a great thing.
"I can't believe you told her that you were my girlfriend though," I said as we walked along arm-in-arm.
"It was the least I could do," she said with a smirk, "I knew what she was really asking and I really didn't want her to be hitting on me or you. I figure if she thinks we are together she won't."
"Sounds like a plan to me," I said grinning, "it doesn't make you uncomfortable with people thinking you are a lesbian though?"
"Nah, people think what they want whether its true or not so I might as well give them something to contemplate about right?"
I just looked at her in wonder and nodded. This chick is so awesome. Even if she never does like me, which I'm starting to wonder if there is a chance, she will be a great friend.
After walking around the mall and joking and laughing about all kinds of things we knew it was time to go to the movie. On our way out of the mall she kept looking toward certain girls who were all gorgeous and asking if I thought they were pretty. After saying yes to at least five I lied and said no about one and she looked at me and laughed.
"I guess we have different tastes," she said with a wink.
At that she started jogging to the car and got in, leaving me standing with my mouth open in the parking lot. As I regained my composure I got in the car with her and she was grinning as she turned up the Garbage song "Special" so loud I couldn't make her hear me if I tried to ask her if she was bi. On our way to the movie I saw her look at me grinning several times and I knew she loved having me not knowing a thing but wanting to know everything.
As we pulled into a parking spot and got out I immediately asked if she was bi over the roof of the car.
"I plead the fifth," she said with smirk and started walking toward the ticket counter.
When I caught up to her she held out her arm expectantly and we locked arms. She reached the counter first though.
"Two for Scary Movie 2 please," she asked the woman behind the glass as she took my id and hers and slipped them under the glass with the money.
"What are you doing," I asked, confused.
"You're my date right?"
"Umm I thought that was just to mess with Sarah's head."
"Ok, ok so you don't wanna say we are dates.. well I promised you a date tonight and he would have paid for you so I will pay for you since he is not here.. sound good?"
"If you really want to," I agreed, thinking how great her logic is.
When we walked into the huge building with our arms still linked I saw a few people give us weird looks and some just smiled at us like it was normal.. or maybe it is normal for some people. I had only acted that close to one of my friends a few times and I didn't feel weird because it was different then. It was just one of my friends. I wondered to myself if this was really as different as I felt it was when people looked at us. I was proud and scared at the same time that people would think we were together.
Feeling Isabelle elbow me lightly I looked over to see what she was looking at and there was an old man sitting in the ice-cream shop with a big grin looking at us.
"C'mon lets go to our movie," she said laughing when I made a sound of disgust in response to the old man's gazing.
As we climbed up the stairs we looked around for a place to sit. The movie had only been out for a couple of days so almost all the seats were still taken. We saw 2 seats almost in the dead middle of the theater and excused our way past people to get to them.
Sitting there and talking with Isabelle felt so great. It really felt like a date. We had stopped holding hands and linking arms but I hadn't expected her to keep it up after no one could see us anyway. I happened to have my elbow leaning on the arm of the chair on the side she was sitting on. A couple of minutes into the movie after the first few hilariously disturbing scenes and a lot of laughter from the entire theater I felt Isabelle's forearm brush against mine.
I looked to see if she had noticed and she didn't seem to have. She was staring at the screen and still giggling. Looking as cute as ever. I smiled, feeling more comfortable, and turned my attention back to the movie without moving my arm.
Not too long into the movie we were leaning together, whispering and giggling about the crazy plotline. I was telling her about the blood that was on the floor and wasn't the next when I felt something hit me in the back of the head. As I turned around to see who was being so rude I saw a gum drop or something hit Isabelle in the back of the head. Squinting into the darkness I soon recognized four people I did not want to see. Sarah, her current fling, my ex-girlfriend, and her current booty buddy were all sitting 2 rows behind us. When I looked at Isabelle to see if she recognized Sarah another gumdrop hit my head and I heard them snicker. I rolled my eyes looked at Isabelle and she looked livid.
"Fuck off," she growled, slowly enunciating each word.
"C'mon, don't let them get to you," I said trying to be reassuring.
"But they are being asses and messing up our date."
"We can do nothing about it and if we get mad or leave it will be giving them the satisfaction of ruining our night. Let's NOT do that," I said as I turned back around to face the screen.
I looked to see if she would turn around too and she did after a few seconds of giving them the evil eye. I kept watching to make sure she was ok and was happily surprised when she put her hand on mine and glanced at me smiling a little. I intertwined my fingers with hers and stroked her thumb with mine every time I heard one of the Cretans snickering.
After the movie was over and we waited for the crowd of people fighting for the exit to die down we walked out hand in hand to her car without trying to look to see if Sarah and the others were watching or waiting for us. We safely got into the car without any trouble.
"So that was a good movie, huh," I asked after she started the car.
"Sure," she replied shortly.
"I'm sorry about "them"," I said honestly.
"You shouldn't be sorry for them being idiots. I just have a lot on my mind."
"You didn't seem to have anything on your mind before the movie," I replied.
"Well I didn't think the people who would mess with me about liking you would be gay THEMSELVES," she said as she pulled up to a red light.
"You... you like me?"
Tigah