Legal stuff: Nothing that is written here has anything to do with real life, even if the author himself wanted it to be true... If you find out that this is what is happening to you or someone you know, please consider it a coincidence and feel happy, for there is one person surely envying you.
I've been thinking more and more lately about having a boyfriend lately. I've also been thinking about how I would feel when kissing him, and also having sex with him. I was getting really desperate about it, and, although I had a crush on a guy from College, he was straight, and I knew that no one in this world would make him change his mind, or, at least, I thought so...
We were on our third year of College by the time it happened. Both of us were doing the same course, which was, just for you to know, Geology. Since the second half of the second semester I've been feeling something more than simple friendship towards him... But I could only feel it for him, because, although it hurt a lot, my mind knew I had no chance with him at all. I said that my mind knew it because the rest of my being, and mainly my heart, would never ever give up on him...
I find it really rare for my heart to win a bet (especially this kind of bet) but it happened that, for one time in my life (just to inform, I'm 18 years old) my heart was right, I'd say that it was even more right than it itself would believe.
It started after a roleplaying game session. We had left our friends house, and were walking to each one's houses, which were in the same direction, and my house, being a bit farther than his, would make me leave him in the middle of my walk. We were there, walking side by side, commenting on the game, when he tripped on a loose stone on the pavement and was falling. Quicker than my own thoughts, I reached for him and grabbed his arm before he had fallen, in fact, avoiding his fall.
"Thanks" he said, looking deeply in my eyes.
"You're welcome" I answered, staring at him like a frog staring at the snake, and, without noticing, still holding his arm tight, when he brought me back to reality:
"My arm... you're still holding it"
"Oh, sorry" I said, releasing his arm.
We had reached his house, and now I'd be on my own. Suddently, I decided to change my plans a bit (I'd do anything to be some more moments close to him)
"Wagner, can I drink some water at your house?"
"Sure, come in"
I went through his house's gate, up the stairs and entered his apartment. In the kitchen, I had a full glass of water and then said:
"Whew, I'm exhausted"
"Me too. Em... Hercules, can you wait for me to take a shower before I open the door for you?"
"Yeah, sure!"
While he went to the bathroom, I went to the living room and sat on the sofa, waiting, when I started to feel WAY too exhausted and drowsy...
"He won't mind if I just lay in here and take a quick nap, will he?" I thought, laying on the sofa and closing my eyes to sleep.
I must have really dozed off, for I woke only after what I recall as being a really long time, and also just woke up because I felt some lips touching mine in a really nice and tickling way... In fact, it was a kiss, and, although it was HIM, the (not corresponded) love of my life, kissing me, I did not open my eyes, for I didn't exactly know yet the meaning of this.
After he'd taken his mouth away from mine, I pretended to be waking up, so this would give him time to get away from me. I did this because, although he'd just kissed me, I knew he was straight, and maybe he'd done this just for curiosity (I still couldn't believe that he could in any way be anything different from straight).
"Mmmm, guess I've slept just too much! I'm sorry, Wagner."
"Not at all. You woke up a bit earlier than I expected."
"Huh?"
"Yeah. I just finished showering, and I was going to drink a glass of milk before waking you up. But now that you've woken up, would you like to join me and have a glass of milk too?"
"Sure, I'd love to."
We went to the kitchen and while he was warming his milk, I told him:
"You know, I've just had the weirdest dream of my entire life!"
"What did it look like?"
"That is the curious: It didn't exactly look like anything I've ever tasted. It was like I was kissed by someone I haven't seen the face. If I ever see that person in front of me, I'll just not know it! Anyway, it was the best thing that has ever happened to me"
"Thanks!" He said, in a distracted sort of way.
"Beg your pardon?"
"Huh? No, nothing, just nothing" He said, blushing.
"I just thought that maybe the person that just kissed me could be the person I'll fall in love with. I'd just love to make this person the happiest person in the world. I'd do my best on it." I said, pausing then to drink some milk, kind of enjoying to see him blushing.
We kept on talking nonsense (that's what we usually do when we are sleepy), and after about half an hour, I was talking to him in front of the gate of his house. It was time to say goodbye. I decided to do things a bit different (once again). Instead of just shaking hands, when I grabbed his hand, I pulled him towards me and gave him a tight hug. Boy it felt great! I was alone with the person I liked most in this world, hugging him, and he was also hugging me... then I let him go and smile at him:
"Thanks, for the milk and the rest!"
"You're welcome."
I turned the street without looking back, because I knew he'd take some time to realize that I was talking about the kiss he gave me. Once at home, I recalled those moments with him and hoped that he'd tell me what was exactly goin on between us.