My Unfortunate Soulmate

My Unfortunate Soulmate Chapter 1

This is my first story for the "College" genre. If you haven't read anything from me previously, I hope you enjoy my writing.

I always welcome email: timothylane414@gmail.com

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B O O K E I G H T

A Bed, A Desk and My Unfortunate Soulmate

© by Timothy Lane

1 - August

Aiden

"We want to be home before dark," my father said. "We'll let you finish making your room your own."

"When does Corey get here again?" my mother asked.

"Sometime this afternoon," I said.

"Well," my father started. "I won't lecture you on being careful and not to do anything stupid. You're your own man. You're allowed mistakes. But I know you will make both of us proud."

"Well, I'm your mother. I'll tell you to be careful!" She leaned forward to give me a gentle hug.

Dad reached out his hand to shake mine. I reached and proceeded to follow through.

"Call us from time to time," he said. I nodded.

With a soft thump, the door of my college dorm room closed.

My college dorm room. MY college dorm room. My college dorm room.

Well, it wasn't entirely mine. Since I had arrived first, I had chosen which side of the room I wanted. Corey would be here soon. Eventually. The thought of rooming in college with my best friend seemed amazing. I was looking forward to it. Being away from parents. Being adults. Independent. Responsible. Irresponsible. Total Freedom.

I spent the next hour unpacking. I knew not to bring my entire set of clothes. We only had limited space. Once it really got cold, I could trade out for some warmer things. I knew jackets and a few pairs of jeans could get me through the beginning of fall. I didn't mind doing my own laundry. Dunne Hall was a newer dorm house, so it was air conditioned.

I secured LED lights along the edge of the ceiling on my side of the room. I played with the controller to make sure it was all in working order.

I stepped back to see how I wanted to position my wall hanging. I measured two marks to make sure the piece would be level. I tapped the nails. For a moment I wondered if residents were permitted to do that, but the nails were in at this point. Those things were probably mentioned in the paperwork. I barely glanced at all that.

I hung the artwork. It looked level. I admitted it wasn't really art. It was my name carved out of metal with black trim. The LED lighting behind it made it glow with an aura. My parents had given it to me as a Christmas gift during my junior year in high school. I liked it.

I looked at the time. 1:37. Eventually Corey would get here. We were going to be roommates. Fuck, yes.

I decided to stroll around the immediate area. It was still warm. The long-range forecast was to be in the 90s for the entire first week of classes. It was expected to cool a little after that, but I was thankful that our dorm had A/C.

My phone buzzed. "We're pulling in," Corey texted. It was 2:02.

"Great!"

"What is our room number again?"

I responded and immediately dashed back to Dunne. I wanted to make sure I was there.

By the time he had checked in, received his key and worked his way to the room, it was 2:24. I made sure I didn't smell sweaty and put just a touch of cologne on. When I heard the key in the door, my heart almost leapt from my chest. He was here!

The door opened. Corey had an entire entourage. His mother and stepfather were right behind him, followed by his dads. Both Corey and his father looked a little alike. Blond, stunningly beautiful, both a touch over six feet tall. My heart pounded knowing hot, gorgeous Corey would be in the bed across from me our entire freshman year.

"Hi, Aiden," Mrs. Perkes said cheerfully. "You look moved in already." She reached out for a hug. I gladly accepted.

"How are you, Mrs. Perkes?"

"Oh, fine. Trying to accept all this," she said looking at her son.

Mr. Snow walked up to me and hugged me. "Hey, Aiden," he said mid-squeeze. I loved being in his arms. I had admired him for years. He could hold me for the entire semester.

Laramie hugged me next. "You excited, champ?"

"Yeah, I guess. It's easier with Corey here."

Mr. Perkes and I looked at each other. We waved awkwardly. I had hugged everyone else; it seemed odd not to, but we hadn't hugged before to my knowledge. It was clumsy, but I reached out and we managed to have a forced hug.

Corey looked at my wall.

"Hmm. I didn't bring anything. I guess an old Guardians of the Galaxy poster would be kind of lame in college."

"I may have an idea," Larry muttered to himself, even though we all heard it.

I wasn't sure what that meant.

Laramie was handsome too. He wasn't as hot as Corey's dad, but he was damn good looking.

"Where are your folks?" Mr. Snow asked.

"They left after lunch. They were driving all the way back."

He kind of pulled back, like my answer caught him off-guard. "Oh."

"They wanted to make it before dark and everything. We drove up last night. We stayed with a cousin of my father's. He lives in Granger. It was a chance for them to visit. They were with me all morning."

"Oh. Okay." He paused. "Well, we'd love for you to join us for dinner this evening."

"Sounds great."

It seemed like they inspected every inch of the room. Corey's mother asked if he would like her to make his bed.

"MooOOOOooom," he groaned, rolling his eyes. "I'm fine. Good grief."

I helped them bring in a few boxes. Together we got Corey all set up on his side of the room.

All of us spent about two hours getting familiar with the campus. It was Welcome Weekend, so some things were planned. As we walked outside, we weren't hot enough to be super sweaty, but our skin felt a bit damp. Mr. Perkes treated everyone to ice cream. These were nice people. Over the years, I enjoyed spending time with them.

Seeing Laramie and Mr. Snow as a couple was always fucking hot to me. No one likes to think of their own parents getting it on, but picturing Corey's dads hooking up always made me hard.

But sadly, Corey was straight. Damn.

We accomplished the day's goals. After waiting for a table, we had dinner at a nearby place called Traditions. We enjoyed our meal. Mr. Snow treated. There was a lot of laughter, much more than when I had lunch with my parents.

"Hey guys, what do you call two birds stuck together?" Mr. Snow said in the middle of dinner.

"Huh?" Corey asked, perplexed.

"What do you call two birds stuck together?"

We were blank.

"Velcrows," he said casually and stuck a fork of mashed potatoes in his mouth, as if he had just provided some sort of sage college wisdom.

"You're so random, Dad," Corey muttered. I snorted at the whole goofiness of the moment. Mr. Snow then winked at me.

Before sunset, everyone was back in our room.

"You aren't driving back all the way tonight, are you?" I asked the adults.

"Oh, no. We'll just make it a couple of hours and finish in the morning," Mr. Snow replied.

"You mean Mom is actually missing church in the morning?" Corey said with heavy sarcasm.

"There is an evening service," she chirped without flinching. I smiled at the verbal jabs between mother and son. I so rarely joked around with my parents.

Corey's family's behavior — which I had seen on several occasions — always seemed to be more upbeat and caring than my parents. I didn't often think about it that much, but each time I would visit with Corey's family, I couldn't help but make some comparisons.

I never thought of my parents as cold, necessarily, just not warm. We didn't do a lot together. Dad seemed so focused on work. Mom had both volunteer work and part-time work to keep her busy during the days. Both held me to fairly high standards. I didn't think of our family as "rich" necessarily, but I was always taught to represent a certain level of upbringing.

I soon found myself startled as Larry wrapped his arms around me. "You two watch out for each other," he softly said in my ear. His embrace was glorious. He smelled like a man. I just wanted to inhale him. I held on to him a few seconds longer than I should have, but he didn't seem to mind.

He hugged Corey next. "I am ... we are ... just a phone call away. If you ever need ... ANYthing, I'm still there for you."

"Thanks," Corey said. "I'll miss you."

"I love you, champ. I'll miss you, too."

Mrs. Perkes hugged me next. "I'll keep you two in my prayers. I want you to have fun. Enjoy college, but be safe, okay?"

I nodded.

"Promise me," she insisted, looking me directly in the eyes.

"I promise, ma'am." She hugged me again.

Her arms strangled Corey like a boa constrictor. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"Me too, Mom."

"Promise me you will come home fairly often."

"We'll see."

Corey's answer did not please her. She shot him a look.

"Kidding. I will, I will."

Mr. Perkes chuckled and gave me a simple hug. He did the same to Corey.

Mr. Snow's eyes were noticeably moist. "Man oh man. How did you grow up so fast?"

"Whatever," his son groaned. "Don't get mushy."

They embraced in a fierce hug.

"I love you, son."

"Love you, Dad."

Mr. Snow gave me a firm hug next. "I know you will want to see your parents when you come home, but you are always welcome to come to our place when you come home with Corey."

"Thank you, Mr. Snow." I was lost in being enveloped by this handsome man. My arms held him tight. I looked up to him so much. He was the first gay adult I ever met.

I thought about his words. Would I want to stay at my own house? If I was honest, I'd rather stay with all of them. I wasn't going to rush home that often. I was looking forward to being on my own.

Well, that wasn't true. I was with Corey. Corey Snow. I had been in love with him since junior high. He was just straight, unfortunately. I had accepted being best friends was going to have to suffice. At least I got to be with him every day.

"Ohhh, I hate to say goodbye," his mother whimpered.

"Okay, okay, okay. Just go already. You love me, I love you, everybody loves everybody. Just go," Corey groaned. "We're perfectly fine. We're going to live."

"Okay," Mrs. Perkes said, then rushed in for one last hug.

My smile slipped from my face. Did my parents tell me they loved me today? I didn't think they did. We just didn't really say that as a family. Not often, that's for sure. Corey didn't realize how good he had it.

The door closed with a thump.

"Thank heavens," he exhaled.

He looked over our room again. Then he looked at me.

"We're actually here," he grinned.

"I know," I smiled back.

"Are you scared?"

"Hell, no!" I immediately answered. "I couldn't wait to be away from home."

"I guess me too." He looked at his bed, which looked so small compared to what each of us had in our homes back in Jackson Bend. "Everything just seems ... so unfamiliar. It's like being at ... camp or something."

I thought again of Corey's parents. They weren't necessarily different than the times I had visited with them before, but there was so much love there.

"Your parents are really great."

Corey looked at me as if I had two heads. "Dude! They're so lame."

"No, they're not. They really love you."

"Well, yeah. They have to. They're my parents. Duh."

I guessed my parents loved me. It wasn't verbalized a lot. I was totally content being away from them. I didn't hate them, but I wasn't going to miss them.

Hmm. That seemed harsh. Maybe from time to time. I was just ready to be on my own. I looked forward to being my true self at college. My close high school friends knew I was gay. I figured a lot of people did after prom.

Prom.

My thoughts drifted back to senior year. Scott and I were so brave — at least we thought we were. We actually went as a couple. Not that people could tell in a crowd. Later in the evening, when a slow dance song started to play, Scott asked if I would dance with him. I decided it was time. There were only a few weeks of school left. How horrific could it be once word got around and everything.

Near the end of the song, I noticed a few people staring at us. I tried to think of it as being in a celebrity spotlight and not a freak show. Scott leaned in to kiss me. A heard a gasp or two. Then a few snickers started. In that very moment, a million thoughts shot through my head. We were going to get beaten up. People were going to make fun of us for the rest of our lives. Look how we didn't care about them. We were going to be on the evening news. People were going to post our kiss on social media. Chaperones were going to come break us apart. Scotts lips were wonderful. Most of all, Scott's lips were wonderful.

I briefly opened my eyes to see a couple of phones being held up to film us. A few more snickers surfaced. Finally, I heard someone clapping slowly behind me. I knew it was Corey. Someone else joined in. Scott and I opened our eyes. I saw Corey's girlfriend push someone's arm down that was filming us. Another of our friends did it to someone else who was filming. Corey's clapping increased. Within thirty seconds, we were in a circle of people applauding us. Scott and I looked dumbfounded and kissed again. Then we finished the dance.

Corey had always been my friend. I knew at that point that he was my best friend. I also knew I loved him but could never have him. He was straight. I would just love him as a best friend.

"You okay?" Corey asked.

"Hm? Yeah. Yeah."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Just wondering what Scott is thinking. He's at University of Iowa."

Corey gave me a sympathetic look. "Do you miss him?"

"Yeah." I did. I wasn't heartbroken or anything. But I missed him. It was nice having a boyfriend. "But ... we both accepted we were going to start new lives. I hope we still text from time to time."

"Send him one tonight. Or even give him a call. He'd probably appreciate it."

"Perhaps."

Corey went to the bathroom to pee. I took the private moment as an opportunity to call my high school boyfriend.

Scott answered. "Hi!"

"Hi. How's it going for you?"

"Good. Good. I guess."

"Is your room all set up?"

"Some. Mostly. It's not like my room at home. I guess I wasn't expecting dorm rooms to feel this small."

"That's college for ya." I paused. "Have you met your roommate?"

"Yeah. He's out getting some things at Wal-Mart." Scott paused. "You're with Corey, right?"

"Yep. We're both unpacked. He's down the hall."

"You always sort of had a thing for him. How hard will that be? Rooming with a guy you want but can't have ... harsh."

"We're best friends. I'll be fine."

"I hope so. Don't get hung up on him. Find an actual gay person." Scott hesitated. "I'm sorry it isn't me."

"Yeah. I'm going to miss you."

"Me too. I hope you have a great year, Aiden. Even though we are bound to meet potential boyfriends, I do hope you will still call from time to time. I'll always care. I won't forget the times we had."

Scott and I were together for six months during school and some over the summer. We weren't hot and heavy, but we had given each other blowjobs on several occasions. I'd miss that.

"Boy, it's weird having to walk down the hall to go to the bathroom," Corey announced, returning to the room. Then he saw me on the phone. "Sorry."

I mouthed "Scott." He waved.

"Corey says `hi.'"

"Hi back. You guys have fun." Neither of us knew how to end the call. "I really will miss you, Aiden," he said.

"Same. Take care."

And I hung up. I wondered if we would ever talk again. I hoped so. I wanted to find a boyfriend on campus. I wanted to be openly gay. If all that happened, would Scott just be a past memory?

Outside our door, we could hear more guys coming in for the evening. Some were loud enough for us to tell they were going back out. It would be nice to meet other dudes in our hall, but I didn't think Corey and I felt the need to do it immediately. We had the entire semester to make connections with our fellow residents. Still, it seemed too early to think about bed.

"I love that you got us a fridge," Corey said. Then he turned to look at me. "Oh. You may just want this for yourself. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed."

"No. No. I got it for both of us."

"I promise not to touch anything you buy," he quickly added.

"Well, at the moment, it's empty. Want to go buy some stuff?"

He nodded.

Fifteen minutes later, we were pulling a shopping cart out of the condensed line of buggies at Wal-Mart. For a Saturday night, the store was packed. Looking at the group there, most of them looked like college-aged students. The campus was descending on the store.

As Corey and I strolled the aisles, I got a peculiar sensation in my chest. Everyone here was just roommates most likely, but for brief instances, the two of us felt like a couple ... and it filled me with emotions I hadn't had before. Scott and I were a couple in the "dating" sense. Barely. But this — living together — it hit me strangely. I liked it. Being a couple was cool. We weren't boyfriends, but being a platonic couple made me happy.

The plan was just to stock things for the fridge. I didn't know Corey to drink beer, and both of us weren't even 19 anyway. We wouldn't be prepared to try to avoid showing IDs. Sodas were fine. All Corey wanted was Dr Pepper and some OJ. He had brought his coffee maker, so we bought some ground dark roast and some filters. He said he had a few, but we stocked up for the months ahead. Before we knew it, granola bars, chips, almonds and some bananas made it into the cart too.

It was too awkward to carry everything in one trip. We had too many boxes of soda to juggle the bags along with them. It was dark by the time we had both trips completed.

"Hmm," Corey said, as he shut the door on the fridge.

"What?" I asked.

"Well ... both my parents had ice cream in the freezer when I stay with them. It's ... I don't know ... kind of going to be weird not having that around."

"You poor thing."

"No! I didn't mean it that way. I never thought of all the little things that will be different for me. For us."

Us. My heart leapt thinking of the two of us as an ... us. I briefly worried if Scott was right. Was it going to be hard rooming with someone that I'd love to be boyfriends with but at the same time know it can never happen? But I loved just being with Corey. When I finally find my own guy, all those feelings for Corey would take care of themselves. It was just an unrealized crush anyway.

"It will be different, that's for sure." I reflected on something Corey said earlier. "Um. You know. Earlier ... you promised that you wouldn't take any of my stuff..."

"I swear."

"Yeah. Right. Um. Everyone else in this hall probably doesn't know their roommates. They just got assigned. We're kind of lucky that we're friends already."

"You're probably right," Corey said.

"But you and I were both an only child. We've never roomed with anyone before."

"We've both stayed at each other's houses."

"Yeah, but that's just for a night. Um. What I'm getting at is ... I don't want us to get on each other's nerves. Should we ... should we like set up like some ... I don't know ... ground rules?"

Corey's head drew back. "Oh. Hm."

"I mean, I know we know each other. It's not like either of us is going to turn into a total dick or anything..."

"Right. I know. I get it."

"That's okay?"

"That's probably smart."

"You're the smart one, Mr. Valedictorian."

"You are too. You got into Notre Dame."

"I suppose. My dad being alumni might have helped."

We both slumped on my bed. Corey had bought one chilled Dr Pepper for tonight. I was fine without anything.

"Okay, Rule 1," I started. "If we are willing to share something in the fridge, then we need to figure out a way to mark it. Otherwise, we each use only what we buy."

"That's fair," Corey said. "Rule 2: We don't have to be clean freaks, but let's try to not let the room get trashed. We both have to live in here."

"I can agree to that." I thought some more. "Okay, Rule 3: If we are bringing someone into the room, we have to let the other one know at least three hours in advance if sex is involved."

Corey exhaled a huge "pffff." He sighed. "Like I will be having sex. But, yeah okay. Uhh, I won't be expected to find another place to sleep, will I?"

"No, of course not. But you probably wouldn't want to be in here during."

He chuckled. "Yeah. I'll pass."

"But if someone were to just be sleeping with me in the bed ... that wouldn't be a problem?"

"Not for me. The bed is about a foot wide. I can't imagine two people fitting on one."

I looked at his bed. He was right. It would be a tight fit. But a tight fit in the arms of another guy, I would attempt it. Would a girl be willing to sleep in a guy's room? With a roommate?

"Rule 4: No crazy late-night hours in the room if the other person is trying to sleep," he said. "We should try to establish some sort of worthwhile grade average our first year."

"Agreed. My father would be extremely pissed if I came to his alma mater just to do a mediocre job."

I thought about all our rules. Nothing seemed hard. We shouldn't argue about any of that. I never wanted us to argue. I did look forward, however, to having sex from time to time. I thought about it constantly. It seemed like I was hard about seven times a day. I wanted to be good at sex. College was sure to teach me. Scott and I enjoyed our experimentation, but there was more to learn — and do.

In high school, Corey and I would jack off together from time to time. Eight times to be exact. I could almost list the very dates it happened, the houses it happened in and whether we were loud or quiet. Now that we were "adults," men in college, was that left behind? Was that just something kids did? Would I ever get to see his dick again? Would we ever jack off again? Would we do it every night?

Out of those eight times, I was able to stroke his dick on two occasions, the fifth and sixth time. I loved feeling it, even more than feeling Scott's cock — and I sucked his. Was this going to be a weird thing? I'd love for us to do it. All the time. Totally. But does that push things as roommates? I wasn't going to bring it up; I'd let him take the lead.

Fuck.

I wanted us to do it. I pulled my knees up to help disguise the fact that my dick was now hard. An erection jutting out while he was sitting next to me would start things off on the wrong foot. But if we didn't do it together, when would I do it? While he was asleep? Between classes when he wasn't here? Fuck. I didn't really think of this. When you have your own room, it is never an issue.

I wondered what he was thinking. Did any of this shit cross his mind? Did he care? Would he be honest if I asked?

Honest.

"Hey, Cor'," I softly said.

"Mmm?"

"Um. Can we ... can I ... um, can we make a Rule 5? Never lie to each other?"

He turned to me with a concerned look. "Why would I lie to you?"

"I don't know. Maybe you just wouldn't want to deal with me. I – I – I just ask that even if it hurts, that you tell me the truth. I don't want you to ever feel like you need to lie to me."

"You're my best friend. I'd never lie to you. I promise." He made sure I was looking into his eyes. "I will never hurt you, Aiden."

"Thanks."

Not on purpose any way. With no fault of his own, he will break my heart every day by being straight. But I had always known that, and I knew it going into us being roommates.

"Can I test you?" I asked.

"Test?? Now I have to prove that I won't lie to you? How?"

"We're best friends now, but be honest. In ninth or tenth grade, did you think I was weird?"

Corey was quiet. I could tell he was thinking. He didn't reply.

"I guess I have my answer," I breathed.

"No. I want to say it right." Corey reached for my pillow and put it on his lap. I was surprised that he pulled my arm and made me lie down. My head was in his lap looking up at his face. Fuck! My skull was resting on his crotch. Well, a pillow on his crotch. Seeing him look down at me ... I thought it was magical.

I did everything in my power not to get hard. Thankfully, with the size of the bed, I needed to bend my knees up. That helped conceal my unwelcome boner.

"To answer you, no, I didn't think you were weird. But I did feel like you kind of wanted to be alone ... that you didn't want to hang with other people."

"Weird."

"No. It's not like you were wearing black eyeliner or wearing black trench coats or something."

"Hm. I don't know. That sounds kind of cool."

Corey laughed. "In a broody goth kind of way. Maybe."

He put his hand on my chest. FUUUUCKKK! I would be hard for ten hours.

"Once I got to know you, know who you are, I liked spending time with you. I'm glad we became close."

"Me too," I said looking up at him.

"I was probably the weird one."

"YOU!!? Valedictorian, musician, fucking hotter than hell, beautiful voice ... yeah, you're a psycho."

"None of those things really got me girls. They all wanted the muscle jocks."

"You had Grace and Vanessa and May and Elise."

"I suppose. Most of them were in Choir."

"Might I remind you that two football players were also in Choir."

I got brave and put my hand on top of his. "You'll find the right girl. And in the meantime, you'll find some others along the way."

He didn't seem to notice my hand on his. Corey's family was super affectionate. He always teased them for being mushy, but he embraced affection. My touch didn't make him flinch.

However, when I kissed him in high school, he did. The sixth time we jacked off, I had his cock in my hand. He came on his chest, and I leaned over and kissed him. That time, he freaked out. He hardly said anything for hours after that. He mumbled, "I'm sorry, I don't feel that way, Aiden." He looked for anything to wipe the cum off his chest as fast as he could. I was actually surprised he didn't move into the guest room. But he turned away from me. He put his briefs and T-shirt back on. The time before, we slept naked for the first time. I thought I had ruined our friendship forever.

"I don't know, Aiden. You might be the one to lie to me. You will probably tell me something to make me feel better even though it's not the truth. You'll be afraid to tell me what's wrong with me."

I bolted upright. "Hey! What's with the self-esteem issues?"

"Hello. Have you met me?"

"Fuck, Corey. You are so good looking. Half the campus will be jealous. You have the most beautiful parents, so that's no surprise. You're smart and talented and nice and funny... let's just put an end to all that shit right now. We're at Notre Dame, and we are going to rock this year."

"Honest?"

"Of course! Both of us will find the person we're supposed to be with. Any girl would be lucky to have you. You know ... you know I'd be thrilled to have ... someone like you."

He knew I loved him. He had to have known. And yet, he didn't let that stand in the way of our friendship. I couldn't ask for a better friend. He was everything. He was my soulmate.

My dick was behaving enough to where I felt I could stand up and it not be noticeable. It was 10:30.

"Gonna go pee," I said.

It was going to be strange to walk down a hall to go pee. He was right about little things seeming so foreign to us.

As I began my piss stream, there was still a firmness to my cock. I gently stroked it as I continued to urinate, trying to keep my aim where it needed to be. I started to get harder, so I stopped. I washed my hands. When I turned around, a guy was coming out of the shower. He was rubbing his towel through his hair, and I could totally see him naked.

"Fuck!!" I breathed in.

His balls hung from the warmth of the shower. His dick hung, flaccid, about four inches. My tongue hung for a split second before I picked my jaw off the floor. Fuck. This was going to be both awesome and terrifying with a hall full of naked dicks strolling in and out every day. Was Scott dealing with this?? He was worried about me being hung up on Corey, but now I had to make sure that guys didn't see me looking at them. There were a ton of guys on our floor. How would I keep my gaze away every single time? I gasped for breath for a second and started to panic. Quickly, I moved to the door.

Back in the room, Corey had a froth of toothpaste around his mouth at our sink. He rinsed, spit, clunked his toothbrush at the edge of the sink to shake out the water and put it back in his toiletries.

"Huh."

"What?" I followed.

"Next time we go to Wal-Mart, I guess we should get a toothbrush holder thingy."

"Start a list," I said, reaching for my own toothbrush.

Ten minutes later, we had removed all our clothes except our underwear. I turned out the lights. The glow of the LEDs behind my wall art illuminated the room enough for us to negotiate space.

"That's really cool," Corey said.

"Watch this."

I turned on the LED lights I attached where the wall and ceiling met.

"Awesome," he smiled. "But I can't sleep with it that bright."

"I was just showing them off." I turned them off and then reduced the aura around my name. "They are variable."

"Keep it like that tonight. If either of us wakes up, there will just be enough for us to not stumble into something."

I laughed. "My name art is a night light."

He reached for me and pulled me into a hug. "I'm glad you are my roommate."

I squeezed him tight. "I'm glad you are my best friend."

We held each other for several seconds. My hands touched his skin. I tried not to make it sexual. It wasn't long enough to give me an erection, but it was long enough to send sparks through my body. His skin against my skin. Our bulges barely touched ... but they touched.

I let go and told myself that I could make this work and that it wouldn't be a problem.

"Good night," we both said.

I crawled into bed; he did the same. I saw a dark blur of him pulling the sheets over his body.

"Glad we have A/C," he muttered.

I looked over at him. He had turned toward the wall.

My hand was inside my boxers stroking my hard cock. I needed to stop. I let go and turned over to where I could not touch it. Then I started grinding my erection into the bed. I needed to stop that too. I turned to the wall. For God's sake, I was a fucking mess!! Corey. Skin. Cocks. Bed. Us. Shower. Dicks. Corey. Me. Penises. Hugs. FUCK!

"Please don't let this be a mistake," I whispered to the gods.

I turned toward his bed. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness. The glow of my wall art was enough to illuminate his side of the room in the softest of violets. My purple best friend was wheezing slightly, letting me know he quickly drifted off to sleep.

Five minutes later my left hand tried to contain my load of cum. My silent orgasm hadn't caused him to stir. Now what? I licked a lot of it off my hand. Then I wiped it on the inside of my boxers as I pulled them back up.

I lay there disappointed in myself. I didn't make it one night with Corey without being a total nutcase. I quietly exhaled. I became obsessed with our rooming situation.

My half of the room was the psycho roommate and a fridge. I looked at his side — a bed, a desk and my unfortunate soulmate.

—

"Hey, Dad! How are things back home?"

I watched Corey light up when he Facetimed with his father. I hadn't heard from my parents in over a week. But I hadn't called them either, so it wasn't like there was any sort of blame to go around.

"Good. We miss you so much already," Corey's father replied.

"We've only had one week of classes so far. You haven't had enough time to miss me."

"I miss you every day, son. Always know that. But ... to avoid being called mushy, tell me about your classes."

"My American Studies class is the one I'm not sure about. I'm not sure it will grab me, but the professor has really made it sound like it could be interesting. We'll see. I have my first music class, which is my favorite. No surprise there. There's Intro to Accounting and..."

"Aw. Following in the footsteps of your ol' dad."

"Well, it's the driest so far, but how riveting can I expect numbers to be, right?"

"Hey, those numbers are paying for your college."

Corey chuckled. "I know. I think I might like it. The Intro to Business Management could be a toss-up. The teacher seems cool. The textbook looks kind of blah, but he might make it come alive."

"Okay. Good. So, is your room totally trashed yet?"

"Hey!" I interjected from the other side of the room. Corey laughed. I walked over to join the conversation. "Hey, Mr. Snow."

"Oh, hey Aiden! How has your first week gone?"

"Fine. I think I'll like Psychology. But I take offense in your assumption that we're pigs."

Corey laughed.

"He's right, Dad. We made a ground rule not to let the room get trashed."

"Mm hm. Tell me all this again in October."

"Have faith in us, Mr. Snow," I said.

I let the two of them continue their conversation. I walked to the fridge to get a Coke. Neither of us seemed particularly homesick. I knew for sure I wasn't. But I could see Corey embrace the phone call from his father. I wasn't jealous, but I was envious of the relationship he had with his dad, with his whole family.

"We did this milkshake mass at one of the other halls," Corey explained.

"What's that?"

"It's over at Dillon Hall. It's really popular. After a devotional service, the guys make milkshakes for all the attendees."

"Fun. I do hope you are eating some healthy things while there."

"We are. We are."

I smiled watching Corey beam talking to his father. I decided to call my parents later.

"I'm having a good time. But ... I miss home too, Dad."

"We miss you, too, son. Love you."

"Love you too. Give Laramie my best."

They hung up. I was lost in my own world. I didn't miss home. It's not like I ever hated it. It was simply ... there. My parents were always so busy.

I called my parents an hour later. Neither of them picked up. I left my mother a voicemail. "Hey, it's me. Checking in. Corey and I are doing fine. My first week of classes went well. I ... just wanted to let you know." Did I want to say anything about missing them? Or loving them? "That's it. I'm fine."

—

The next day my parents returned my call. I was staring at my alarm clock. We talked for between two and three minutes. They didn't ask about Corey, but I told them we were doing great and keeping the room clean.

"I'm sure you will make us proud," my father said.

We didn't say we loved each other. We didn't say we missed each other. We said, "Bye."

—

It was the end of the month, and I didn't feel any more "out" than the day I arrived. I was aware that there was a Gender Relations Center. I didn't feel pressure to be on the down low just because the university was a Catholic institution. At the same time, I didn't notice a flyer for an LGBTQ Welcome Back Picnic until it was too late. I hated that I had missed that. Maybe I would have a sense of just how many gay people were here. I wanted to meet somebody.

I did notice there were designated rooms as "safe spaces," so I never felt like I would be judged. In some small way, that was a slight relief. But I had dealt with feeling like the odd man out. I had developed a thick skin.

After Corey and I had spent virtually every evening together, I decided to do something on my own.

"Hey, Cor'?"

He looked up from his book. He had been studying at his desk. He didn't say anything, but his eyes said, "Yeah?"

"I was ... I was thinking about doing something tomorrow evening."

"What is it?"

"I'm not exactly sure. It won't interest you, but PrismND is like a ... a gay ... club? Organization? They have weekly hangouts. I went into the office today, and ... I think I'd like to attend one tomorrow."

"Sure."

"That's okay?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Well, we've done things together each night."

Corey turned back to his book. "Aiden, I'm enough of an adult to be by myself. I was back at home, remember?"

"I just didn't want you to feel like I was blowing you off."

"I know you want to meet somebody. That's normal."

Normal.

I had never felt normal a day in my life. I accepted that I was gay, I knew I wasn't as emotional as most people, and I was aware that I had a reputation as a loner. Even when I was dating Scott — if you could call it that — we weren't super "couple-y." He and I kissed regularly, texted most days, and shared a total of twelve blowjobs. We had slept together — as in sleeping — twice, both times at his place. I wasn't sure if my parents even knew we were gay when I went over there.

Even when Scott and I were our own thing, I still had feelings for Corey. He was my best friend, but I wanted him to be my boyfriend. Somehow, when I'm 90, I will still wish he had been my boyfriend. It was great that he supported me, but a tiny bit of me was hurt that he was okay not being with me the next night. That was silly, but I liked us being together.

Since being at college, we had not jacked off together. I figured that he had considered all that "kid stuff," high school doings. I had come sixteen times since arriving, two were in the shower when there wasn't someone waiting in the evenings. I had even gotten dressed following showers in front of him a few times. I had no problems being nude in front of him. We had been naked before. I was just hoping he would even glance at my dick. Although I had accepted that he was straight and I was gay and that we could still be friends without being boyfriends, I felt we had a bond. It was our own thing. We didn't hug every night before going to bed, but we had thirteen times since being here. I would bet that none of the other guys on our floor were getting bedtime hugs. I could be content with that.

Although there was no way for me to actually know, I wasn't aware of Corey coming a single time. I couldn't hear him in bed, he had only taken morning showers, and there were always guys waiting. Surely, he wasn't abstaining completely!?

—

The LGBTQ event was simple. It wasn't a huge gathering. Some were holding hands, so they felt comfortable doing that; you could tell they were couples. Others appeared more single. What they were wearing was all over the place. I saw a couple of rainbow shirts, several Notre Dame shirts, a few wild patterns and ... and me. I felt a bit plain. Not that there weren't others wearing gray attire.

One of the officers of PrismND asked if I had received a pin. I accepted it. I saw that a few were wearing them. I put it on my shirt. The pride pin gave my look a microscopic speck of color.

Twenty minutes into it, I realized I wasn't "mingling." I was living up to my loner reputation. It wasn't that I minded just being one of the crowd, there was an enjoyable sense of acceptance. But I would never find a boyfriend this way. At the same time, I didn't want to look like I was hunting down someone. That seemed creepy. Even with this small group, it was still the most gay people I had ever been around.

Several feet away, there was a guy by himself. He was sipping his beverage. As he raised his arm, I noticed a cloth bracelet featuring rainbow stripes. He saw me glancing and smiled. Having been noticed, I walked over to him.

"Hi, I'm Aiden."

He reached out his hand. "Donny."

"Hi, Donny," I said, shaking his hand.

He gestured for me to sit on the brick ledge along with him.

"I noticed your bracelet. I like it."

"Thanks. Yeah, I like these. Cheap. But ... I like it because it's cheap."

"I haven't seen them before."

"Would you like mine?"

"Oh, my gosh. That's not what I was implying."

He chuckled. "I know, but I know where to get more."

"I couldn't..."

"I insist," he said, taking it off.

Donny placed it on my wrist. He showed me how to make the clasp tighter. I reached out my arm and glanced at my inexpensive accessory.

"You're very nice," I said.

"And you're very cute."

Wow! I wasn't used to such forwardness. There was a split second of shock and panic until I realized that it was a compliment and one that I appreciated.

"Thank you." My head slightly tilted, as I felt I was blushing. "You're a bit of a flirt."

"Not really. I meant it. Something tells me you are a freshman."

"Does it show that bad?"

He laughed. "Not in a bad way, no. I ... was probably like you last year. I didn't know what to expect at these things. I kept a bit to myself in the background at first."

"Do you come to a lot of these?"

"Eh, maybe half. It depends upon studies, if I have a boyfriend or..."

"If?"

"Yeah. I had two last year. I met them here at these things."

"Is this all the gay people that are here at Notre Dame?"

"Heavens, no."

"It is a Catholic school."

"But a fairly accepting one, though. As Catholicism goes, that is."

"Hm. Not that I care. Our family was Catholic, but we didn't go to mass that regularly. Devout is not a word that describes me."

"I see."

"I did do a milkshake mass at Dillon though."

"Those rock."

Donny and I talked for thirty minutes, part of which was a walk around the area in which the event took place. We made plans for lunch tomorrow. Summer was finally cooling off a bit. The evening was nice, and I enjoyed the stroll back to the dorm under the cover of nightfall.

Just outside our door, I could hear music — or I thought I did. It wasn't loud but perceptible enough to be heard through the door.

"Ahhh!" Corey blurted, jumping, as I opened the door. "Oh, you startled me."

I saw that he had his keyboard out. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt."

"You aren't. I was just ... playing. I'll put it away."

"Please don't."

"It's too much in the way."

"Please don't. Were you playing or writing a song?"

"A little bit of both, I guess. I started something, but I don't know where I really want to go with it.

"What's it about?"

"I'd rather not say at this point. We'll see if it goes anywhere."

"Play something for me."

Corey looked sheepish. I gave him puppy dog eyes. He silently chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"It's embarrassing."

"Why? You have a fantastic voice. We were both in Choir. You sang all the time then."

"Not by myself."

"Play."

Corey looked down at the keys. He was motionless for a few seconds, then his fingers hovered above the keyboard. My best friend closed his eyes and then started singing "Shape of You" by Ed Sheeran. After the first verse, he opened his eyes and looked at his hands. I loved watching him.

There are small moments in the song where background vocals could join in. I knew the song and added my voice underneath his. He turned to me and smiled. I moved over closer to him on his bed and harmonized with him.

And was in love with him. I wanted us to fall into each other's arms and confess our love for each other and have passionate sex and get married and live happily ever after.

But I just harmonized. I was content to do that. Any connection between us was a great thing.

We smiled at each other.

"You're so talented," I said.

"Whatever."

I walked to the fridge to get me a White Claw. I took a receipt from my pocket and dropped it in the trash. I noticed a tissue on top. It didn't look like a tissue that you had blown your nose in, and Corey wasn't sniffling or anything. It didn't look like a tissue you wiped up something in. It looked like a tissue you had come in. It was a crumpled ball. Maybe I was reading too much into it. There was no reason to make any assumptions, but even the wetness at the bottom of the ball screamed "cum." I hoped it was. I hoped Corey wasn't denying himself. Maybe I needed to give him some space sooner.

There was a rap at the door, and Corey got up to answer it.

When the door swung open, we saw Ace and Geoff in the doorway. We had met them our first week. They roomed next door. So far, we basically said "hello" in the halls and that was about it.

"Hey," the two of us said.

"Hey guys." They saw the keyboard.

"I thought so!" Geoff said. "Who plays?"

I pointed to Corey.

"Was I disturbing you?" Corey asked.

"Heck no. It sounded great."

"You guys want anything to drink?" I offered.

"Whatcha got?" Ace said.

"It isn't a huge selection. Dr Pepper, Sprite and White Claw."

`Ooooh, I'll take a White Claw," Ace said.

"Ditto," Geoff followed.

I knew the Dr Pepper belonged to Corey, but I felt he wouldn't mind if I offered it in the name of hospitality. Not that they chose it.

Corey put away the keyboard to give us more room.

We made simple chitchat of our classes and how the first few weeks had gone. Ace sat with Corey on his bed: Geoff sat with me on mine. I glanced at Geoff's legs. He had nice legs. Still, I wished I was Ace sitting next to Corey.

They told us what they liked and didn't like about Dunne.

They thought it was cool that we knew each other before we got to Notre Dame. Geoff had heard from someone else on our floor who hated their roommate already. He wouldn't say who. They felt lucky that the two of them had hit it off.

Ace walked over to the trash to throw his can away.

"What's this?" He held up a sculpted piece of wood under Corey's desk.

"Oh. I was carving on it earlier," Corey said.

"You were?" I said, astonished.

"Yeah."

"What's it supposed to be?" Ace asked.

"I haven't decided. At the moment, it is kind of freeform. I'm a little lost with it."

"You're amazing," I said.

"No, I'm not," I heard Corey mutter under his breath.

"A man of many talents," Geoff said, looking at him. "How long have you done it?"

"Not long," Corey said. "One of my dads started teaching me this summer."

Ooo. That was a bombshell. Would the guys assume "one of my dads" meant a stepfather or that his dads were gay? How would they react?

"One of your ..." Geoff followed.

"My father is gay. His partner is the one that started teaching me how to carve."

Boom! Corey didn't hold back. He laid it right on the line. I watched Geoff intensely. I looked at Ace. They were both silent for a minute. They probably were deciding what was the PC thing to say to that.

"Cool," Geoff said.

Nice choice.

I had worn my new rainbow bracelet the whole time they were there. Neither of them inquired as to if it meant I was gay. I had pulled off the pin before I entered Dunne Hall.

Ace said he was going to head back home in the morning to get some more things. He lived in Grand Rapids, which wasn't too far. I hadn't thought about home in days.

It wasn't late, but it was late enough that the guys decided to head back to their room next door. Both Corey and I went down the hall to pee. I still hated having to do that.

We both squirted toothpaste on our toothbrushes. He stood at the sink. I roamed around as I brushed. When I walked back to spit, he touched my bracelet. He spit out his toothpaste and rinsed.

"Tell me about the bracelet."

"I met someone tonight. He gave it to me."

"Oh. Nice."

As I looked at it, I could tell it wasn't new. It looked slightly worn. I think I liked it better that way than if it were spotless and new.

"I have a date with him tomorrow."

"Wow." Corey looked blank. "Already."

"It's just lunch."

"Well ... I'm glad you met someone."

"His name is Donny. He's really nice."

"Good for you," he said, but not convincingly.

We both stripped down to our underwear. I could tell he was feeling down, but I didn't know why. I didn't want him to go to bed without a hug. He wasn't facing me, but I reached for his shoulder and turned him toward me. My arms wrapped around him.

"Good night," I said.

I felt him squeeze me a little. Our crotches pressed into each other. Then we released our fourteenth hug.

"Good night."

The lights went out. I lay on my back thinking about everything. Donny. Ace. White Claw. Corey's crotch. The bracelet I was still wearing. Lunch the next day. Corey's cum on a tissue. Ed Sheeran.

"I enjoyed singing with you," I said into the darkness.

"Me too," he answered back.

—

"Do I look okay?" I asked, with my arms stretched out to my side.

"You look fine. You look good. Just have fun," Corey said.

"I suppose. It's only lunch."

"Your first date in college. Look at you."

"Now you sound like your mother," I said.

"Guh!! Don't say that."

I wasn't sure if I should wear the pride pin or not. I decided not to. I just kept his bracelet on my wrist. I looked at my hair one last time in the mirror. I didn't have a lot of colorful clothes, but I thought my red T-shirt flattered me. I wasn't built, but I wasn't overweight.

"Don't be nervous," Corey said. "He will like you."

"Maybe."

Twenty minutes later, I saw Donny walk into Smashburger. I had been waiting for him. I had no idea what to say. My mind forgot how to form words. What was the matter with me?

"Hey," Donny said. "I hope you like this place."

"It's burgers. What's not to love," I said. Was that interesting or stupid?

We made our orders at the counter. Within fifteen minutes, the place was filling up. We were glad we had gotten a table earlier.

After my last bite, I wiped my face with a napkin. I still felt there was residue of mustard and beef juice at the corners of my mouth.

"I'll be right back."

I checked myself in the bathroom mirror. I felt I looked as good as I was going to.

Donny was completely finished when I returned. I noticed he had refilled both our drinks. How nice.

"So, how was your freshman year?" I asked, trying to make conversation. "Thanks for the refill."

"You're welcome." He paused a moment. "My freshman year was ... fine. Good. Okay. I don't know."

"Hmmm. That wasn't very conclusive."

He laughed. "For sure."

"Did you see anyone your freshman year?"

"As in dating?"

I nodded.

"Well, yes. I suppose." He exhaled. "I ... I liked a boy named Jonah. He ..." Donny stopped. "He and I kissed and ... and did a little more."

Donny put his face in his hands. He caught his breath and looked over his fingers.

"Jeez. I must look like a total dork," he said.

"No. Of course not." I placed my hand on top of his.

His fingers curled around my hand to where we were holding hands. I was holding hands! I was holding hands on top of the table. I was holding hands in public ... in college ... with a guy older than me.

"He wanted to move much faster than me. I don't just ... hop in bed. Right away. You know."

"I get it."

"We were fine for a couple of months, and we did sleep together a few times. But I guess he wanted more action than I was offering."

He placed his face back in his hands and moaned.

"Donny. It's okay. I don't have any more experience than you do."

He looked up and reached over to hold my hand again.

"You probably thought I was some with-it dude last night, and now you see that I am a total dweeb."

"Stop. You're very nice. I've liked both times we have spent together."

"Thanks. Me too." He looked me in the eyes. "I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I have my act together."

I laughed. "Well, I certainly don't."

"I dated another guy two whole weeks before he moved on. I got the impression he wanted to move faster."

Despite his confessions, I was drawn to Donny. His vulnerability made him seem authentic.

"Can I have your number?" he asked. "I'd like to text you and call you on occasion. Maybe we can find time between classes or one evening to meet up."

We exchanged numbers.

I walked with him to his car. Donny looked at me and smiled. "I'm glad we did this."

I moved my lips onto his. "Me too," I replied as I pulled away from our kiss.

Donny kissed me again. This time it was more meaningful.

"I'll call you," he said, and got into his car.

—

There was enough rustle of clothing that I could tell Corey was moving. I rolled my head over to see him about to finish dressing.

"What's up?" I croaked.

"I've decided to go to church."

"Really? Like downstairs?"

"No. Not our chapel. I ... sorry if this offends ... but I don't know all the Catholic ceremonial stuff."

"I can relate," I moaned. "Okay."

I rolled back over and crunched up into a ball underneath the blanket. I became aware of the cloth bracelet on my wrist. The door softly closed a minute later. I placed my hand inside my boxers and rubbed the bracelet up and down my morning wood. As much as I needed to pee, with Corey gone, I wanted to openly jack off even more. I pulled my boxers off me completely and started stroking my cock. This time, I thought about Donny.

—

"How was church?" I asked.

Corey pulled off his belt and began to undress to change into shorts.

"Okay, I guess."

"We aren't at home. Our parents aren't here. You don't have to go."

"I wanted to," he said, both softly and defensively.

"Are we doing lunch together?"

"Sure," he said.

I stood up. "I have something for you."

Corey turned to me and put his shoes down. "What do you mean?"

I pulled his gift from underneath my bed.

"I wanted you to have this."

Corey looked astonished. "What is this?"

"It's for you."

With Corey at church, I finally had the chance to wrap the 16 by 20 frame. He peeled away the paper. I was hoping he would like it, but I had no way of being sure.

Corey gasped. "It's – it's ... I love it."

"I called your dad to see if he could email me one of the pictures from your Vegas trip."

"I can see that. Aiden ... I love it."

Corey threw his arms around me, and my heart soared inside his hug.

"You talked about this trip so many times, and you needed something on the wall on your side of the room. Sooo..."

"It's perfect. I love it. I love you. You're the best best friend a guy could have."

I couldn't say the words "I love you" back to him. If I said it, it would mean something completely different.

"I thought about getting the one from Bryce Canyon made, but this one in Vegas seemed much more fun."

Corey held the photo enlargement in his hands. I looked at the group shot of the seven of them standing in the glow of Freemont Street. His smile couldn't be contained, which made me incredibly happy.

"Thank you thank you thank you."

He looked at it some more.

"I've always been so envious of that trip."

"Really? Why so?"

"Well ... duh!" My hand made a karate chop gesture to the picture. "A trip with six hot gay guys!?"

"Hey! One of those guys is my dad."

"And he's HOT!! Just like you are."

Corey put his hand over my face and pushed me back. "Whatever."

Ten minutes later, it was hung over his bed.

He hugged me again. Hug number sixteen. I held him for a long time.

"Thank you," he said into my shoulder.

"You're welcome. I was happy to do it."

I was happy that I did something that made my best friend feel better.

* * * *

If you noticed "Book Eight" at the top of the story, I could let you know that Corey was introduced as a character in Book Five during his adolescence. He, along with Aiden, "grew up" in Book Six. You can find more about those stories and my writing at the blog: timothylane414stories.blogspotcom. I've made a new post with this book's title: "A Bed, A Desk and My Unfortunate Soulmate."

Email: timothylane414@gmail.com