(This story is a work of fiction. No persons here are real, and the activities described are not recommended.)
My trainer came in and, as ordered, I immediately fell on my knees to kiss his boots. This was only my first week, but certain things had already been made clear to me. I was naked, and collared. He was tall and smooth, with a lightly muscled, boyish chest, His shirt was open a bit, and his jeans showed off his legs and suggested a large cock. I had never seen him naked, although I had been hoping to. So far, he was just doing a job with me, he hardly even seemed to notice me, except the way one would notice a dog being trained. Humiliatingly, I was totally hard while licking his boots, and of course he saw it immediately.
"You like it, don't you, faggot?"
"Yes sir". I was only allowed short answers like this, and all of them had to finish with "master", or "sir".
He moved his boot back a bit, and I tried to follow with my tongue. But he whipped me immediately.
"Beg!"
And so I did, naked and on my knees, my ass up: I begged to lick his boots again. This was a new stage for me, previously he had let me lick his boots for as long as I wanted. Although I did not understand it yet, he was starting the "real" training now, the one designed to shape my mind and desires as he wished. The first few days had been used just to make it clear to me what I was allowed and what not. Now there was something else going on.
He made me beg for a long time. I implored him, I was getting more and more desperate for his boots, for the humiliation, but ... he refused.
"Now you are going to learn to NEED my boots. No more taking them for granted". He dangled the whip in front of me.
"Kiss it, faggot. Lick it, make love to it". And I did. My head was reeling, but I wanted him, I wanted to lick his boots. And he knew it and was using it to control me.
My day was divided into regimented stages: Exercise, humiliation, deliberate sexual provocation and frustration, more exercise, punishment, making me write everything I thought and felt in a journal he would read, and so on.
Punishment sessions were imposed from the start. The catch was that I was not always told exactly what I did wrong. The idea I guess was just to make me realise how low I had fallen and that I was not even a good slave. Punishments were of different sorts, sometimes mixed. First there was whipping. I would be attached, nude, either to hooks in the ceiling joists, of else tied to a bed. My legs were spread with a spreader bar. I was blindfolded, and whipped repeatedly. I was ordered to thank my master for each stroke, and FAST. The idea was to condition me to react automatically to the punishment, with gratitude, and I had to always offer my body for more, even when it hurt. After a while, my mind just turned off, I was yelling out thanks immediately, and -- usually -- my cock was hard. Sometimes my master would play with my balls a bit between strokes. Sometimes I would be spanked with a paddle, again forced to thank Master after every stroke. When it stopped, and I was untied, I had to immediately lick my master's boots, and thank him for the honour of being punished by him. Sometimes he would continue to beat me or whip me while I grovelled in front of him like that. And I couldn't help it, I was always hard.
Even more than the punishment sessions, however, the part of my life I found hardest was the public display and provocation, because I was not allowed to come.
It took place in a sort of dining hall for trainers and slaves. The newest slaves, like me had to stand, spread out and tied in one place. Naked, of course. And we "sat" on a sort of dildo post, which impaled us and held us in place at the same time. It was just too high to be comfortable, and it turned and moved continuously. It was like being fucked. But since our hands were tied we could not jerk off. The situation, and the physical sensation, combined to make me very, very horny. Any trainer, even any more advanced slave was allowed to touch me in any way he wanted. But a big sign over my head said, "NOT ALLOWED TO CUM". What I didn't know was that some of the other slaves had been offered rewards if they COULD make me cum. Whereas if I did cum, I would be punished. Punishment was simple but effective: I had to sleep with my hands tied behind my back for a week. It was VERY uncomfortable and I hated it. So the guys would come by me and start to kiss me, or masturbate me, or attach tit clamps to me, or just deliberately humiliate me by spitting in my face or slapping me. Of course that, combined with the fucking machine, and the fact that I was kept strictly celibate all the time, made me wildly horny. The trainers had no incentive to make me cum, but they enjoyed tormenting me. So I was continually reacting to these men, and I had virtually no control over my own reactions. The whole setup was designed to make me feel powerless and dependant on these men, and it did that, very well. My trainer would watch sometimes, and taunt me. I would beg him to let me cum, He would tease me by pretending he might say yes, but almost all the time he would refuse, often at the last minute. I would be dripping pre-cum, and moaning, and then he would stop whatever was happening and just tell me he had "changed his mind". So I was caught between needing desperately to cum, and being afraid to, between thinking I would finally be allowed to cum and being refused. I felt more and more powerless and more and more confused. And more and more horny. It upset me to be controlled, publicly, in this way and to this degree, but there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.
Sometimes they put me in the stocks, and the guys could use me for fucking. Most of the other slaves were pretty horny, and they were glad to use my ass when I was helpless and needing cock. So they would fuck me, one after the other, leave their cum on my ass, and let the next guy gang bang me. Some of them were very good at it, and it was like they took pleasure in dominating me, getting me moaning and begging to be fucked harder, but then leaving me hungry for cock when they cum up my ass and I could not. They would tease me for hours like this, either in the stocks, or tied in a sling. Sometimes in the sling one guy would be fucking me and another would cum in my mouth. And sometimes my trainer would deliberately jerk me off almost to the point of cumming while some other guys used my ass. But he was amazing in always knowing just how far he could go in driving me wild and NOT letting me cum. It left me with blue balls, and with my ass feeling hungry for more cock.
There came a day when my trainer was taunting me like this, in front of the others, as usual. I was begging to cum, and he had an inspiration.
"Tell me you love me". I was writhing in a combination of horniness and frustration, sweating -- I could not resist. Part of me did not want to say it, but his will was stronger than mine.
"I love you MASTER". I yelled. Then he made me repeat it, again and again, taunting me to "say it like you mean it". And I did. Pretty soon I was saying it and believing it. I couldn't help it. The combination of being so horny, so powerless, and seeing him so sexy in front of me made me WANT to kiss his boots. I really was falling in love with him.
But he had a much deeper humiliation in mind. Now he ordered me to say those words, those oh-so-powerful words to ANY man who tormented me. I had to thank him, and declare my love. Out loud, passionately, so that every man in the room could hear. A guy could order me to open my mouth, spit inside, slap my face, and I would yell, THANK YOU, SIR, I LOVE YOU. It was wildly humiliating, and emotionally it took me to a whole new level. At other points in the day I'd see these same men in the corridors -- I was always kept naked, of course - and they would pass me knowing I had declared I was in love with them. And worse, over time, I felt it myself, more and more. I felt like a horny adolescent gay boy, in love with his best friend, but unable to have him. Except I felt this for ALL these guys! They would see me looking at them longingly, and know I desired them, sometimes they would use me for a blow job, or fuck me roughly, or even whip me, and make me lick their boots as well. And it became a vicious circle: The more they did these things, the more I wanted them, and the more I wanted them, the more in love I became. And the more in love, the more ready I was to do anything for their attention. At this point it was no longer just sex I wanted from them, but attention, any attention. And they used this power over me relentlessly. What had become physical desire for them was now deepening for me into really profound emotional needs I could not control, and which made me ever more vulnerable to them. Now when they so much as looked at me the wrong way, I wanted to apologize, to beg them to punish me, anything to please these men I wanted so badly.
And as this change in me was taking place, I was also more and more overwhelmed by my trainer. I had not thought he could get more than external physical, obedience and, yes, arousal from me. But now I realised just how deeply he was re-programming my emotions, making me into a fully dependant slave, whose need for him and the other guys entered into more and more of my life. Now I was dreaming about them at night, having crazy romantic ideas about them, waking with painful erections I was not allowed to satisfy (he checked my bed every morning). I was obsessing about these men like a teenage boy in love for the first time. And on the rare occasions when my trainer DID make me cum, I was forced to yell THANK YOU, SIR, I LOVE YOU MASTER! as loud as I could, no matter where I was. It was humiliating, it was erotic beyond anything I had ever experienced, and it was a new me, out of control, utterly dominated by this man, these men around me, who, it seems, went out of their way to make me feel inferior, unimportant. By making me relive my gay adolescence, but in even more painful fashion, my trainer became a sort of God to me, I knew that there was less and less I could resist, and that whatever happened, I needed him, I needed to serve him, to be whipped by him, to beg him for the chance to suck his cock, anything. Sometimes he would tie me with a leash beside him while he deliberately made out with a sexy man in front of me, maybe another slave, and he would order me just to lick the boots of the other guy, in the corner. He knew this tortured me, I was jealous, but of course I had no rights whatsoever, and worse still, afterwards I'd fantasize about it, hard as always, and dream about serving him for life. I had had no idea I would become this dependant on him, that ANY man could completely dominate me in this way.
After a couple of months of this I noticed that other slaves who had arrived at the same time were "promoted", while I was not. One day my trainer told me that he had decided that I would stay permanently as the lowest slave in the house, as an example to the others, and to show them that not everyone could move up. The slaves who were promoted gained the right to do what they wanted to lower slaves, and I was going to be the lowest slave -- for good. These newly promoted slaves took special pleasure in degrading me, in showing their power over me. Sometimes they would grab me as a group, blindfold me and use me. I would be on my knees, hands tied over my head, and they would order me to open my mouth. Sometimes I would get a cock to suck, sometimes one of them would play with my balls to excite me, sometimes after sucking cock for ages they would cum in my mouth. And then while my mouth was open and dripping cum, they would takes turns spitting in me, or on me. Once 3 of them showered up with a cup of cold cum -- they had jerked off in it, I don't know when -- and they made me drink it. And then, of course, lick their feet and thank them for it. The most humiliating part was that I didn't even know whose cum I was drinking.
Another especially humiliating thing they did was that newly promoted slave were allowed to top other guys. Some of them, like me, had never topped before, so they would use me to learn. They would start by getting the feel of dominating me, making me lick their boots, or whipping me, then I would have to spend hours on my back in bed, with my feet tied to my hands over my head, as they teased my asshole, made me beg for cock, and finally started fucking me. I was responsible for teaching them to fuck well, so I really had to put my heart -- and ass -- into it. I would squeeze their dicks, they could see how horny it made me, and they usually got pretty good at fucking. It was made clear to me that I could never be anything but the lowest bottom, offering my ass, often dripping with cum, to any guy who wanted it.
One day a group of 4 of these newly promoted slaves, quite young, barely into their twenties, ganged up to catch me in the corridor. They ordered me into a bedroom, and made me lie face down on the bed, binding my arms and legs spread-eagled to the corners. They blindfolded me and ordered me to start humping the bed. I did as I was told, horny as usual, especially because one of them was a very sexy black man, with an arrogant attitude which particularly attracted me. I could see his contempt for me, and it made my cock hard. Then I felt one of the young men -- of course I could not tell who -- get on top of my back and start to tease my ass with his cock. This happened several times, and I couldn't tell if it was the same guy, or all four, or some combination. In between they would whip my ass and back. The combination of wanting to get fucked and being whipped made me even more horny, and I was yelling out "I LOVE YOU, SIR" as ordered. Then they ordered me to cum like that, being whipped and humping the bed. At the same time they were taunting me, making fun of me.
"Look at that faggot, he can't even get fucked, he likes to cum like a kid, rubbing his cock on the bed. And he loves it.
Then one of them came all over my ass, but the whipping continued. They kept taunting me and commanding me to cum. I knew I would be punished for it, but the whole situation was too much for me, I couldn't help it. Finally I exploded as the whip hit my cum-covered ass. Then they untied me, and made me lick up all my own cum, and -- most degrading -- lick each guy's boots and thank him for beating me. Of course I did not even know who had done what, so they all gained my adoration from that time on. Any time I saw any one of them, I would bow and lick his feet, and tell him I was in love with him. And I really was.
Most of the time people react differently to you -- one person might like you, another might not. Here in the training house, everybody reacted to me the same: I was the lowest slave, to be used as needed, subordinate to EVERYONE. And in time I actually began to need it. I needed to grovel before these men, to beg them, to thank them for using me, to dream about them sexually every night, to be tortured by them.
Now the punishment sessions became harder. My trainer would regularly beat me or whip me till I cried. And I still had to thank him and grovel for more. I didn't realise it at the time but he was conditioning me, like a dog, to associate being sexually aroused with pain. Because I found him so sexy, even when he made me cry, I still stayed hard. If I showed signs of getting soft he could restore my erection with a whisper or the lightest touch. And he was incredibly accurate in his judgement. He would take me to the point where I was sobbing, stop for a couple of minutes to make me hard again, where I was moaning and begging to cum, for him to fuck me, anything ... and then he would start to beat me again. Now he didn't even tie me up, he just had me lick his feet and thank him as he punished me. And as always, I had to yell "I LOVE YOU, MASTER". He was creating very strong emotional associations between his beautiful body, which I desired more than ever, and suffering in front of him, and realising my totally inferior status. Now my dreams became more intense and degrading: I only came when being tormented and humiliated, and in pain. And a few times, as if to show me how much he had moulded me exactly as he wished, he would start to kiss me more tenderly or to jerk me off, in a more normal way. But my erection would go down. And as soon as he started to hurt me, by slapping my balls, or pulling on my tit-clamps, or if he would kick me onto the floor to lick his boots, my cock was instantly fiercely hard. And worse, it was very clear that he did not really love me, he was just using his power over me to play with my mind, to manipulate me sexually. He had trained me now to associate my (rare) sexual satisfaction (and constant sexual desire) with suffering. Suffering for him. I had no more control over my emotions; he played me like a marionette.
A few times he made me spend the night in his bed. But I was forbidden to cum, as usual. He would make me suck him and he would fuck me raw, till I screamed with need, then, once he came, he would push me away and go to sleep. I could not sleep, I was too horny and tense, and having his gorgeous body beside more kept me tossing and turning from horniness. Sometimes he would make me sleep nude on the floor, chained to the bed.
Something else he started doing was inviting other guys into his bed for sex, while I was tied by my collar to a bed-post. Sometimes he would make he lick their feet too, other times I had to watch, as this man, who I was totally, humiliatingly in love with, made love to another guy. I was crazy with envy, and he knew it. He was deliberately torturing my mind and making me desire him more. And at the same time confirming my status as the least important slave. I was just his bootlicking dog, no more.
One day, after making me sleep on the floor beside him, while he made out with another guy -- always torment for me -- he told me to stand at attention before him. The he started kissing me really deeply, and playing with my balls. Of course, since I was strictly forbidden to jerk off without permission, this made me instantly horny. Then he pushed me down and started face fucking me, really hard. I was in heaven, and my cock was jutting out. He kicked me in the balls a few times, which made me even hornier. Then he started jerking me off, and soon I was moaning and begging to cum. Me made me plead for a few minutes like that, taunting with how I was just a faggot slave, good only for serving a man, and I was telling him, "I love you, master, thank you, sir", again and again. He felt my balls tighten and he started to kiss me again. Sometimes when he did this he left me unsatisfied; very rarely, he let me cum. As I was nearing orgasm, he suddenly shoved me down again and fucked my face once more, quickly cumming in my mouth. I almost came just from that, but I knew I did not have his permission. Then he stood me up, and said,
You like that, faggot?
Yes, sir! Thank you, sir! Please let me cum, sir?
You really want to cum, slave boy?
Yes, sir, PLEASE let me cum, sir.
Say the magic words, boy!
I LOVE YOU, SIR. THANK YOU SIR.
And then he did the cruellest thing of all. He stopped, and he said, I'm giving you away. As of this morning, you will get a new master. I was totally horny for him, he had taken me to heights of desire I had never known before, and now not only was I not allowed to cum, but he was taking it ALL away from me. He had done this before, it was one of his strongest training techniques: give me enough of something to make me really, really want it, and then deprive me of it, ALMOST totally. Just giving a bit from time to time to keep me from losing hope, usually less and less as time went on. It was frighteningly effective, like getting me addicted to a drug, which then I needed more and more as I got less and less. But this time he was doing it with HIMSELF as the drug. I was crying, I got on my knees and licking his feet and begged him to keep me, even if he punished me harder. But he just laughed, and said,
Now I have you exactly where I want you. I have broken you, you are going to be in love with me for the rest of your life, but your are NEVER going to touch me again. In my heart I knew I was true. He was an incredible manipulator of my mind, I simply could not resist.
A but later, while I was still crying, my new master appeared. He was tall, black, very fit, but still lean, with a swimmer's build like I always admired most. He looked at me, naked and on my knees, bawling like a kid, and just leaned over and slapped my face, hard. I looked up at him, and he slapped my face again.
You will always look down in my presence. Only look up with my permission.
YES, SIR.
He attached a leash to my collar, and just led me away like a dog. He obviously did not care how I felt about leaving my trainer, just acted like he had bought a new toy. He took me to the showers, and ordered me to lie down on the floor. Since I was nude, the it was very cold. He ordered me to spread eagle myself. Then he blindfolded me. He kicked me a few times, and then said aloud,
OK, boys.
I heard others entering, maybe 3 or 4, it was hard to tell. Then someone started to whip my chest, and pinch my tits in alternation. I could hear other noises and it was not long before I felt cum landing on me in several places, my balls, my hair, my mouth. Of course I was hard, but I dared not touch myself. Then I felt something else. First one guy, then several were PISSING on me. One seemed to aim deliberately to piss in my mouth. It was the most humiliating thing which had been done to me to date, and again, my slave self responded, automatically, by giving me the biggest boner imaginable.
After the had finished, they left, and my new master -- they had called him David -- jerked me up by my arm, and led me, still blindfolded, to the side. He roughly hosed me down, and then dragged me to some other room. I heard metal, could not figure out what was happening. Then he thrust me down on some sort of mat, and I heard a lock, then a metal door closing.
Take off the blindfold, faggot.
I did as he said, and found I was locked in a cage, my collar attached by a chain to a ring in the wall.
Now whenever I was taken from my cage, it was on my knees and with a dog collar. It was humiliating to be led down the hall like that, naked and on a leash, and to see former slaves who had started after me, who were now allowed to taunt me as much as they wanted. Once in a while, I saw my former trainer, and he would put his boot in front of me, I'd go to lick it, and he'd pull it away from me. He usually did this when there were other people around to watch me degrade myself like that.
My new master was even more physically cruel than my trainer had been. He seemed to like the idea of having a white man as his slave to treat as he pleased, as though I was his possession, as indeed I was. Sometime he made me drink his piss, sometimes he left me tied, ass in the air, on a sort of sawhorse, where I was sure to be noticed and, usually, fucked, by any horny guy who came by. To make things very clear, he wrote PLEASE FUCK ME on my back, and he ordered me to beg out loud to get fucked if any guy showed any interest in me. Sometimes he'd leave a dildo up my ass. If I was lucky it would be attached to a sort of fucking machine which thrust relentlessly in and out for hours at a time. My prostate was endlessly stimulated, my cock would be dripping pre-cum, but the way I tied -- with my dick hanging down -- I couldn't quite get enough stimulation to cum on my own. And most of the guys preferred to watch to torment me rather than to relieve me. And of course there were the cock-teasers, the ones who would make me suck their big hard cocks, would play with my balls and my cock a bit, till I got close to orgasm, and then walk away laughing at my begging. Sometimes they would take the whips or paddles hanging nearby and use me for target practice.
Another thing my new master did was to make sure that guys who were especially good looking showed me how inferior I was. They would make me kneel beside them, with my dog collar and leash, in front of the mirror. Of course I'd be hard and desiring them, but no matter how hard I was force-exercised, there were always better looking guys who I couldn't equal. My master wanted to make sure I realised my status at all times: just a slave to torment or to use, subordinate to EVERYONE in the compound. He wanted TOTAL submission, and he wanted it to be automatic: A word from him and I obeyed, without thought.
Soon after acquiring me, David had my cage moved to an open room, with the words "whipping boy" over the door. My heart sunk, especially when I saw the rules posted above.
- The whipping boy is available to any man here who wants to use him for sex or torture 2) He may not be damaged in any way that will derive the NEXT man of his use 3) The whipping boy is entirely responsible for the man's satisfaction and must address any man with the utmost respect and humility. He must thank any man for anything done to him. 4) If any man is unhappy with the whipping boy's behaviour, for any reason, he may punish him as desired. The whipping boy is always assumed to be in the wrong. The complaint will also go to David, who will punish him again. The whipping boy will lick the boots of the person making the complaint after each punishment. 5) The whipping boy is to be returned to his cage and locked in at the end of every session. 6) If the whipping boy is allowed to cum, he must be humiliated and in pain at the time.
That meant that anyone who wanted a man to use sexually, or just to torture, could use me, even the lowliest new slave. When someone came into the room, I had to fall on my knees instantly. He would take the keys from the hook near the door, unlock my cage, and take me out, on my leash. I had to offer my whole body for his use, whatever his wanted to do with me. A lots of the guys appreciated having an official whipping boy, especially after a hard day. The room was equipped with equipment for sexual torture. It was easy to attach me in various positions by my collar (which was locked on), my leather leg restraints, my cock ring, or with my leash. There was a stocks, often guys would clamp me in, my ass in the air, and whip me and fuck me in turn. Since I could not see behind me, I didn't even know who was doing it. No matter, I was responsible for their satisfaction and had to thank them afterwards. Hooks in the ceiling were often used to attach my hands over my head. Guys would attach tight tit clamps and watch me squirm, or order me to keep weights suspended from my balls moving. If I did not ... more whipping.
There was also exercise equipment, since lots of guys liked to make me do exercise and to torment me by whipping me or beating me while I was doing it, or force me to do it with a dildo up my ass, tit-clamps, whatever. I usually had weights attached to my balls, so movement was painful, and some of the guys liked to make me walk around the room on all fours, like the dog slave I was. Sometimes they would kick or beat me as I walked like that, which usually made me instantly hard. Sometimes they would order me to jerk off while they slapped my balls, hard. I came to like that, at least I was allowed to jerk off. They made sure that if I did cum it was always in pain of one sort or another. I learned to associate sexual release with pain, and it got to the point where I NEEDED the pain, or else I could not cum even if I was allowed. My whole mind was now transformed, no will of my own, just sexual needs, need for more humiliation, and most of all, need to serve these guys, especially if they hurt me.
One thing the guys liked to do to remind me of my status was to make me eat cum -- lots of it. A group of sex or seven guys would stand around jerking off onto the floor. When they were done, they would order me to lick it all up and eat it. The mixture of all their cum made quite a puddle, and I ended up eating the equivalent of a glass full of cum. Of course I had to swallow it all, and go around on my knees, thanking each guy by licking his feet. This little game always made my cock very hard. I actually liked eating all their cum, it made me feel like I had a bit of them inside me.
Sometimes a guy would cum in a glass, and "save it" for me. I'd have to swallow his cold cum whenever he wanted. And thank him. More and more, I could tell that the guys got off on humiliating me in little ways. Especially the new slaves, because they had no one else they could order around. So it gave them a feeling of power. When they had a rough day themselves, they were encouraged to do whatever they had just experienced to me, worse if they wanted.
They loved making me show how much I needed cum, and would beg for it. Sometimes a group of guys would line up and jerk off in front of me. I had to wait on my knees, collared. When a guy was ready to cum, he'd call me over, and I'd lick it up like a dog, looking up at the good with my eyes pleading, my mouth open, trying to get every drop to eat. (Often they would make me skip a meal before this.) Then another guy would call, and I'd crawl over as fast as possible, while he shot down my throat. Of course some cum always ended up on my face, dripping down, and they would make me clean it off the floor afterwards, to show how much I needed it. Often there were LOTS of guys doing this, maybe 10 or 12, so I swallowed quite a lot of cum. While this was happening the guys would make fun of me, since they noticed that my own dick got totally rigid. They would yell. "Look at the faggot, he actually LIKES it!". And I did. When they were done sometimes they would make me lick each guy's feet and thank him profusely for his cum. Often one of the guys would whip me while I was thanking the others, and if they did let me cum, it was only while being whipped, HARD. I needed the pain and the humiliation to cum, in fact.
Another thing they did, even more degrading, was to tie me to a table, face down, ass in the air, and blindfolded. They would tease my ass with their dicks until I was begging to get fucked. Then they would fuck me, one after another, each one pumping into me, using the previous guys cum as lubricant. Of course after 3 or 4 guys I was dripping cum from my ass. Sometimes a guy would take some cum and jerk me off with it until I got really hard and horny. And then, of course, he would stop and not let me cum myself. Sometimes a few guys would jerk off on my back or into my face while the other fucked me in the ass. But they never cleaned me up. Worse, even when they untied me, I had to go around for the rest of the day dripping cum all over, so that anyone who saw me knew what had happened. And of course the guys passing me would make jokes about me being such a cum slut. And I would say "yes, sir, I am a cum slut, sir". Whenever guys insulted me like that, I now had to agree with them out loud, and repeat it, as part of my mind-conditioning.
When I had lived like this for several months, my trainer came over to me one day. After I had licked his boots as usual, he told me my training was complete; now I was ready to be sold. I would be auctioned off. Of course my new master would be training me himself, to his personal specifications. I was scared, and, to be honest, I was now aware of how much I would miss my life as "slave zero". It was hard to admit, but I LIKED being treated this way by all these guys. But of course, that had been the idea all along, to use my own mind against me. And they had succeeded, incredibly. So I begged him to keep me on, but a new stage of my life was about to begin ...