My apologies for the delay in the this chapter. Thank you for your patience. And Alan (or Allen) from Virginia (I think) I lost your email address, so please write back. As always all comments are appreciated.
Harryrod575@yahoo.com
"Alright, everyone can go, except for Bobby and his boy. I will decide the punishment for them and it will be carried out this evening, prior to dinner. Since Bobby is responsible for his boy, he will receive the punishment, not his boy." I gasped. Oh, Shit! Now I felt even worse!
"And I can tell you this," he said to everyone, "it will not be a simple thing. It will be a punishment fitting the crime and a various serious crime."
Oh, Fuck! I was fucked again and now I was going to cause Bobby more pain! Oh
Bobby sent me to my room while he went off someplace else. I paced my room and worried about what was going to happen. I berated myself over and over for my stupidity and how this was going to affect Bobby. I sat for a bit and caught up on this journal with all that had happened. I wondered if Bobby was still posting them on nifty.org.
I tried lying down on the bed, but I was too nervous to lay still. I got up and paced some or sat and fidgeted. I guess a couple of hours went by when there was a knock on the door and a voice said, "You are to go to the study."
I was sweating as I headed down the stairs to the study. I went in and saw that Bobby was already seated in front of Uncle's desk and that Uncle was seated behind the desk. Bobby tried to smile, but you could tell he was trying to smile and that it was forced.
"Sit down, boy." Uncle commanded.
I sat in the other chair near Bobby's naked body.
"As I have mentioned," he started looking at me while he steepled his fingers over his naked body, "this is a very serious offense, one that cannot go unpunished. The whole security of our system here was at risk. Many people would not understand how we live here not to mention the valuables that could have been taken.
"I have thought about this for a considerable time. We have a punishment here that seems to apply in this case. It is a harsh one, matching the situation.
"You may have seen that a couple of the boys here have an X on one butt cheek. That X is branded on with a hot iron. And while it is a bit cliché, three X's and you are out. So Bobby will first have his hole stretched with a dildo and then he will be whipped with a belt 20 times and then the hot iron will be applied to one butt cheek."
I gasped and wanted to start crying.
"This will be carried out tonight, prior to dinner, with everyone assembled. After the punishment, Bobby will be lead away and kept in solitary for 3 days. His brand and any welts created by the whipping will be attended to by one of the boys. You may not see him during this time.
"While I know this physical punishment will be harsh and difficult to stand for Bobby, the mental anguish that it will cause you is much worse. I know that and expect that. It is not easy for me to give this sentence to Bobby as he is of my flesh, but he has spoken for you and is responsible for you."
Tears were rolling down my face as I listened to him hand out the punishment. I couldn't look at Bobby.
"That is all, neither of you may speak at this time. I will not hear any excuses or pleading." He stood then and said, "We will meet again at 5 pm in the testing room with the entire house present to perform the duties. You may go."
I stood and turned and Bobby put his hand on my shoulder, "It's okay," he said as he pushed me towards the door. Outside the office, I turned and tried to hug Bobby tightly to me, he patted me on the back but didn't return the hug. I looked up at his face, but had a hard time focusing because of the tears in my eyes. I wiped my eyes and saw that he was again trying to smile. "It will be alright. I will get through it. I can take it."
"I am so sorry," I blubbered.
"I know, but as I have been told many times, 'Sorry doesn't cut it.' I need some time alone for a bit to prepare for this. I enjoy pain and like it intense, but from what I have seen of this, it is very intense. I need to get my mind prepared for this. Go up to the room and stay there. Clean up the room, work on your computer, jerk off, whatever; just stay in the room until 5. Then come down to the testing room. That is the place we tested you, do you remember where it is?" He still had a hand on my shoulder.
"Yes," was all I could manage.
He let go of me then and turned and walked away. I felt a knife piercing my heart. I had caused him much grief and even more was to come. I headed back up to the room and cried and yelled at myself and cursed myself and even the Uncle.
I could not concentrate on anything. As soon as I started something, I would think of another consequence of my actions and get distracted. I loved Bobby and had let him down and now he was going to take my punishment.
That made me think and I thought about it for a long time. Finally, I had a decision. I went down and knocked on Uncle's study. A voice said, "Come in."
I opened the door and strode across the room. He started to say something, but I spoke up, "I know, I am not supposed to talk about this, but I have to. So please hear me out."
He didn't say anything, so I continued, "Bobby must not receive my punishment. I screwed up, I need to be punished. It is not his fault. Do not punish him for my fuck up. Punish me. I don't care what it is, just do it to me, instead of him. I deserve it, not him. Do whatever you want to me, but do not touch him!"
I wanted to rant more, but ran out of steam. I looked Uncle in the face and waited.
"Do you mean it?" he asked.
"Of course, I mean it!"
"I mean, do you mean it about taking whatever I decide is a fitting punishment, without question, without hesitation, without comment, without another tirade, you will take it?"
"YES!"
"Okay, then here it is." I didn't think about it then about how quickly he spoke. "You will receive Bobby's punishment, but you will receive 40 strokes of the belt and a brand on each cheek and," he paused, "your will only have one additional chance to stay in the house. Do you understand?"
My mouth flew open, but I closed it and tried to fight back the tears that were threatening to overflow my eyes. I managed to choke out a "Yes, Sir," without losing it, but knew I could not say another word.
"Then go to the testing room and wait. Someone will be down to prepare you for the punishment. You will not return to your room here when you are done. Your stuff will be returned to your dorm room. Your wounds will be dressed when the punishment has ended. Someone will be by in the mornings and evenings for the next several days to insure that you are healing well." He looked away and then turned back to me, "You may go now, boy."
I turned and realized I couldn't swallow. There was too much emotion stuck in my throat. I walked in a fog to the testing room downstairs in the basement. I saw the wooden X along one wall and figured that is where I would be. There was a wooden chair near by. I sat down there and thought about what I had just done.
I had saved Bobby. He would now not have to suffer for my mistakes, but I would suffer.
After a while, I really don't know how long, one of the boys came in. He ignored me as he opened a metal panel along one wall about waist high. I realized it was a fireplace and that a fire had been started in it, probably from the other side. I very hot bed of coals was glowing at the bottom and he laid another log on top.
He went to another closet and brought out two metal rods. They looked like and turned out to be, branding irons, each one ending in an X. My butt clinched as I thought about what was going to happen with those. He placed the end with the X in the coals.
Then he brought out a leather belt and laid it on a table next to the large wooden X. Then he got out a huge dildo and set it on the table. He never looked at me as he worked. When he was done he left.
Then a master came in. He had on a mask, but was wearing a leather harness which accented his well muscled body. A ring circled each nipple. The rings were connected by leather straps to a ring that held his cock. He had shaven balls and what appeared to be trimmed pubic hair. He walked with an air of authority. He had 4 Chinese characters tattooed on his right upper arm.
He walked over to me and without any words, lifted up on my right arm telling me he intended me to stand. I did and he lead me over to the wooden X. He took my right hand and strapped it into a leather wrist restraint that was hanging there. He did the same with my left hand and I was feeling very scared but excited as well. Stupidly, my cock twitched as he buckled me in.
He reached over and picked up the dildo and held it up to my mouth. I knew what he wanted. I licked the head of it. I had never seen a cock head that large and my hole clinched tight as I thought of where that was going. I tried to get the knob very wet.
He pulled it away from my mouth and kicked my legs apart. I knew what was coming and tried to push back and relax. He put the head of it at my hole and holding onto one shoulder push down on my shoulder and up with his other hand.
I tried not to scream, I really did, but it hurt so much, I couldn't help it. I tried biting my lip, but even that didn't help. I was trying to stand on my toes and he was very forcefully pushing me down onto the dildo. It's very life like crown was working it's way into my hole.
I think I either passed out for a bit or blacked out, but when I could see again, I felt the whole thing in my hole. The pain was incredible. Bobby had done some wild things to be and I was learning to love the pain, but this was beyond that. Any thought I had of this being exciting left my mind as I tried to handle the pain.
The guy was now strapping something around my head. I realized as he inserted the ball into my mouth, that he was putting a gage in my mouth. Evidently, he expected that I would be screaming more and didn't want me to be able to.
It allowed me to bite down on something as I adjusted to the hugeness in my hole. There was no pushing it out and no pulling it in more. It was just there; it's presence making itself known.
Then he took the belt and folded it. He stood where I could see him by turning my head a bit to the right. He used it on the cement wall several times. Each time there was a loud "whack" and dust leapt from the walls. My butt clinched around the dildo with each sound. I turned my head so I wouldn't see what he was doing, but it didn't help as I heard it each time it struck the wall.
He came back and pushed my feet out and attached them to restraints and the bottom pieces of the X. I was now totally restrained and vulnerable to whatever anyone wanted to do to me. I had never felt so helpless and alone in my entire life. I began to panic. I start breathing faster and faster and sweating profusely.
Then I started shaking all over. The guy walked up to me and said, "Take a deep breath," in a rather matter of fact tone. I did what he said. "Now let it out." I did. "Another one." I did. "Let it out." I did. He repeated it once more and then left me alone without another word. I was still sweating, but no longer panicking. This is what I wanted. I had asked for this. I deserved this. I had fucked up and now I was getting my punishment.
I almost laughed as I thought of how I used to think a clothespin on the head of my cock was a terrible punishment. Then I cried, realizing I would never see Bobby again.
I got it together again, just as I heard people entering the room. I kept my head facing towards the wall. I couldn't bear to look anyone in the face, especially Bobby.
They filed in and found chairs in the gallery and a silence fell.
There was no preamble, no speeches, no pronouncements, just the first stroke as it hit my ass. I was not ready for it and it felt like it tore me to pieces. I was not going to cry out! Not even through my gag. I was going to take this like a man and show Bobby I could take this.
I tightened my ass then around the dildo and waited for the next stroke. My ass felt like it was on fire. It seemed like 10 minutes, but I am sure it was less, but I was still fiercely clinching my ass tight, when the second one landed. Harder than the first, I was sure.
My whole body quivered for a moment and incredulously I felt my cock twitch. Again, the belt whistled through the air and struck my ass. By the fifth one, I was shaking on the X. My cock had gone hard. By the eight one, I was crying and screaming. Each one was harder than the one before. My cock was straining and I was dying.
By 14, I guess I shot, because I felt my cock go soft and it never got hard again. By 18, I tensed my whole body and thought I would tear my hands out of the restraints. By 23, I cried out huge and long into my gag.
I must have blacked out, as I felt water splashed across me and I shook my head and they continued. My whole body was shaking now as I anticipated the next stroke. Each one seemed to find a new place on my ass. It felt like it was on fire, it felt like it was being shredded, it felt like it was being beaten to a pulp.
I was in a fog then of pain. At one point I tensed my whole body again for the next blow, pulling on all four restraints, tightening every muscle in my body, waiting.
Again, an eternity, I waited. I kept waiting for something more.
Finally, a voice spoke; it was Uncle. Bobby has now interceded on your behalf as you have on his. He has chosen that you should not be branded, but rather has chosen that you be banished from the house and never to see him again.
I couldn't believe this. Bobby had saved me, but lost me and I had lost him.
I hung there then, held up only by my restraints. I vaguely understood that people were leaving. I knew that Bobby was there and he was leaving and I would never see him again. That was worse than anything that had happened to me. I was an emotional wreck then and I started bawling.
A while later, someone came and undid my ankles and then my wrists and took me to a table. Then helped me to the table and then up onto the table on my stomach. I felt the dildo being removed from my ass and felt a lose and a coolness in my hole.
Then I guess I passed out again. I came to when people were finishing up on my ass. I was helped to stand. Not one word was spoken to me. Clothes were handed to me and I put them on. Someone put sandals on my feet.
Once dressed, I was lead out to a van. I started to get in the front seat, but was motioned to go in the back. I understood, I was to lie down on my stomach in the back of the van. I did and the doors closed and I was driven away.
Away from a life I hadn't known I wanted and now couldn't have ever again.
When we got to my dorm, the doors were opened and I got out. My keys were handed to me along with my wallet and my backpack. I tried to speak but couldn't. They didn't wait for me to say anything, they simply got in the van and left.
Every muscle in my body hurt as I tried to climb the stairs to my room. At the second floor, I took the elevator to the third floor and headed down to my room.
I opened the door to my room and saw all my stuff was there and laid out as it had been when I left. I looked at the bed and felt my heart go. I dropped my backpack and lay face down on my bed. I began to cry then. Bobby, I miss you! I cried until I fell asleep.
When I woke, it was the next morning. I looked at the clock, tried to remember what day it was and decided not to bother. I stayed on my bed and fell back asleep. I woke when someone was moving me.
It was one of the boys from the house. He didn't say a word, but pulled my pants down and began putting some kind of ointment on my ass. I looked over my shoulder and saw that my butt was very bruised, but not as bloody as I had expected. When he was finished, he left me a note and then left.
I threw the note on the desk and went back to sleep. I could not face the world. I didn't have Bobby.
I woke again, when the boy came to doctor my butt, again there was no talking. When he got ready to leave he picked up the note I hadn't opened and handed it to me again.
I opened it and read, "Call me," and it listed a number. I thought it had to be Bobby. I picked up the phone and fumbled with it in my eagerness to dial. I dialed and waited, not breathing.
"Hello?"
"Hello, who is this?" I said.
"Is that you, Davey?"
"Yes," I said losing my enthusiasm.
"Well, this is Doc. I want to come see you when you woke up. I'll be right there." He hung up. I looked at the phone and then hung up. I had stood up to use the phone. I sat back on the bed and then stood up again. That hurt too much. I paced around the room wondering what he was going to do.
I did have to wait long. I heard a key in my lock and then the door opened and Doc walked in. "What, does everyone have a key to my room?" I said angrily.
"Several of us have one. So we can look in on you. How are you doing?" He took hold of one of my shoulder and looked me in the eye.
"Fucking fine!" I said, pulling away from his hand.
"You did a very courageous thing, taking Bobby's punishment," I started to interrupt, "No, listen to me. I know the whole thing. I am here to make sure you don't do anything stupid and that you get through this. I know it seems like the end of the world, but it isn't. I know you will get through this, and I know you feel right now that you never will and that you hate me for even thinking you will get through it."
Everyone was a fucking mind reader!
"Turn around, I want to make sure your ass is healing up well."
I turned around. He pulled down my pants and I felt his warm hands working on my ass. But I didn't feel anything sexual about it. I doubted I would ever find anything sexual again.
When he was finished, he pulled up my pants and put his hands on my shoulders and turned me around.
"I am going to be checking on you. I want to see and hear that you have been to class. I want to hear that you are eating. It is going to be difficult, but you can get back to regular life again." He looked at me, "No, don't say it. I know what you are feeling. You can and you will. I am here to make sure you do."
I didn't say anything.
"Now, come with me. It is dinner time and we are going down to eat."
"NO!" I said, still mad.
"Yes!" He said and smiled. He opened the door and took my arm and pulled me towards the open door.
"Fuck you!" I said, but I followed him. He said nothing as we rode the elevator down to the first floor.
He led me into the dining room and walked me through the line, picking out food for me. He filled my plate and one for himself.
He carried both trays and led me to an unoccupied table and put down the trays. "Now eat," he said handing me a fork. I looked down at the plate and then took a forkful of food and put it in my mouth. I did that about 8 or 10 times in quick succession. Just getting food in and down and not caring what it was. I pushed the tray away then and said, "Done."
He didn't say a word, but continued eating until he was done. He then took both trays to the dish area and came back and took me by the arm, "Come on."
He led me outside. I wasn't really paying much attention to the people around me or where he was leading me. But he stopped when we got outside. "We are going to walk around the building. You are going to be stiff and sore, but you have to move." He took hold of my arm and started leading me slowly along the walkway around the building.
It hurt all right, but it was a dull ache. He talked, but I don't remember what he said. When we had gone around the building he led me inside, up the elevator and to my room. Once there, he went in to the bathroom and got a glass of water and came out. "Here take this," he said, holding out a pill and the glass of water.
I took the pill; I didn't care what it was. He told me to lie down. I did.
I woke up, looked at the clock and then looked around the room. He was still there. "No, I am not still here. After I was sure you were sleeping fine, I went off and got some sleep myself." Fucking mind readers!
"Now, get up, get undressed and you are taking a shower. You stink." I stood and let him help undress me. When I was naked he led me into the shower. "Do I have to scrub you, or are you awake enough to do it yourself?"
I didn't say anything I just started the shower and got in. My ass was still sore and I felt and then tried to see the place of the bruises. They were all over my butt. I started crying again in the shower. Doc pulled the curtain back and looked at me.
"Finish up, or I will come in there with you." A while ago that would have been a scary thought, then it would have been very sexy, now it was just an annoyance.
I let the water wash over my face and tried to pull it together. I turned off the water then and took the towel from him and dried off. "Gently on that ass," he said. I really didn't care.
He took the towel and dried my ass, then put some ointment on it. Then he led me back into the room and handed me clothes to put on.
We repeated the food thing and then he handed me my backpack that he had brought down. "Now, off to classes." I started to say something, "No, you are no longer in Unc, I mean, Professor Welsh's class. You now have Timpkins - same time in the lecture hall in the Admin building. I expect to hear that you have been to all your classes today. I will be back tonight to make sure you eat dinner."
I took the backpack and headed off. I sat through every class, but heard nothing, took no notes. I could only see Bobby. I thought of everything we had done together. I thought of all that he had done to me. I remembered every moment we had together. I stopped a bought a small packet of Kleenex, because I was crying off and on.
In the afternoon, I decided I wasn't going to cry any more and by 4 pm, was in my room crying. I missed Bobby.
Doc came by at 5:30 and made me go down to eat. Once again he gave me a pill and once again he was there when I woke up. I repeated that process again. At the end of that day, when he told me to take the pill, I said no, I wanted to talk. I sat down. It didn't hurt as much in my ass, I had gotten used to sitting in class. But my heart still hurt.
I started telling him how I felt about Bobby, what I had lost. I cried and talked and he just listened. He let me go on for hours. I rambled on about Bobby, school, my parents, my life, what to do now that I knew I was gay and liked to be controlled and on and on.
When I had no more to say, he handed me the pill and the glass. I drank and went to sleep.
It became a pattern. He was there when I woke and when I went to sleep. He sat with me while I ate my 10 bites. Now it was a ritual, never more than 10, some water. A couple more times I sat and poured my heart out to him and he listened and never offered suggestions. I guess he knew I didn't want to hear that it was going to be all right and that I would get over it.
I wasn't going to be all right and I wasn't going to get over Bobby. I was just fucked and I was just going through my days as I zombie. I would never have sex again. I could never have sex with anyone other than Bobby. Doc was good, he tried once to see if he could get me excited, it didn't work, so he stopped.
I went through at least a week of this. Doc started getting me to jog and I realized I was weak. He tried to get me to eat more, but 10 bites was it. If it hadn't been for him I wouldn't have even eaten those 10 bites.
Nothing changed, another week went by and my ass healed and I didn't need it to constantly remind me of what had happened and what I had lost. I was fucked and I knew it and it would always be that way.
Thanks for all the comments, suggestions and ideas. They are always welcome. Harryrod575@yahoo.com
Have fun
Harry