My Story - Becoming a Secretary

By RikaMarie1

Published on May 19, 1996

Transgender

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Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.tg

I have written this to save time and to answer many of the obvious questions about my situation. For those of you who see my room title on AOL and are interested as to what happened to me, here is my story. For those not on AOL, the chat room that I usually open is "My Ex-Fiancee Turned Me Into a Woman." This is my story.

My story starts about a year ago. I was working for a department store chain as a merchandise manager with buying responsibilities. Unfortunately there has been a great deal of consolidation in the industry, as in most of corporate America, and my job was eliminated. I received a nice buyout but there were few opportunities that I could take advantage of and soon found myself butting my head up against a wall.

Just before I was laid off, my girlfriend Kathy and I got engaged. We had a healthy relationship for more than three years and figured that this would be a temporary setback. She has several degrees in material science and owns a plastics' research, development and manufacturing company. After being out of work for close to three months she asked me to work for her.

At first there were no real problems. I dressed androgynously, fairly casual. This did not sit well with the secretaries. They complained about the apparent double standard dress code, that I was allowed to wear pants and they could not. She agreed with them that it was not fair. When the other secretaries made a big deal that I was allowed to wear pants, she felt she had to do something or all the secretaries would have demanded same. I remember the Friday afternoon staff meeting when she asked them what should she do? They told her either they should be allowed to wear pants or I would have to wear a blouse, skirt and heels like they did. At first they were joking about it but she then said, lets put it to a vote, should we retain the current staff dress code or institute a new one? The four of them all voted to retain the old dress code. They would rather see me humiliated rather than have the option to wear pants and be more comfortable. They were all quite happy about it and said that they could not wait to see how I came in on Monday, or if I would quit.

That weekend she told me that I would have to start dressing like the rest of the secretaries and that from here on out she wanted me dressed as a woman. She knew that from a past Halloween, that I dressed in the past, and that I enjoyed it. Since I did not have a very complete wardrobe, that weekend, she took me to the mall shopping for a new wardrobe. She ad me dress androgynously to maximize my humiliation and referred to me with male pronouns with many of the clerks at the start of the day. Many were curious and asked questions and she explained it to them, I pretty much kept quiet. I had to buy skirts, blouses and dresses that would be suitable for work. Next it was to Nine West four three pairs of 3-inch pumps (black, beige and white) to coordinate with my new outfits. Finally she took me to Victoria's Secret, where a friend that we both knew worked.

That was the most humiliating. I was taken into the back into one of the fitting rooms where I was measured completely. Tonya, the manager, suggested several styles that would suit me in the Wonderbra line. She pushed and tugged me into position and gave me some push up pads as well. Standing in front of her in nothing but a bra and panties was terrible. I put my blouse and shorts and Reeboks back on and went back out in the store to pick out other necessities. Since I didn't have on any makeup yet, and the outline of my bra was visible under my blouse, everyone took notice.

After we left, I asked Kathy if we could go home and could I put on some makeup and do my hair if I was going to be out dressed like this. She had a better idea she said. Next it was on to Dillards for a makeover and my own collection of makeup. The cosmetic's saleslady thought it was wonderful what she was doing to me, that she wished she could do the same to her boyfriend but he was much to macho. She thought I was suitably femme. Finally she took me to the salon where had my hair cut and permed, had me waxed and had each ear pierced twice.

On the following Monday I started work as Rika. That morning I had to get up almost an hour early to get everything done in time. Kathy fussed over me, saying that I needed to look perfect, that I would show up the other secretaries. I tried my best and thought I looked pretty good. Then it dawned on me, the salesmen, who only were in the office one day a week, would be in on Monday and would see me. It was one thing for the other women in the office to see me, it was another matter for the guys, who knew me, to see me in my cream colored blouse, dark brown skirt and beige pumps.

When we got in, we arrived a few minutes late and all the other secretaries were at their work stations. I had to walk past each one of them, my new heels clicking with every step. It was totally humiliating. They all told me to stop in front of them and looked me over. It was obvious that I was completely shaved, that my waist was nipped in by a corselette and that I was wearing a very flattering bra. All the other secretaries laughed and made fun of me. One asked, "How does it feel to have to dress the way we do?" I told them that I was embarrassed, very uncomfortable and self conscious but I would do my best to fit in with the rest of them. They told me that they had a bet amongst themselves that I would quit rather than come to work this way but they were all glad that I was finally put in my proper place. It was just too bad that working for Kathy, that I was like an executive secretary. Now that I was just one of the girls, rather than Kathy's boyfriend/fiancee, Barb, since she was senior, should take my place. Kathy smiled a bit when she heard that. They all told Kathy how pleased they were that no longer would any exceptions be made for me.

Previously I was not in the coffee rotation but from here on out, I was. They said that since I hadn't in the past, that today would be my turn. At 9:30 the six salesmen started to arrive for the 10 sales and marketing meeting. Needless to say I was the main topic of conversation for the first 15 minutes or so. In the past, I took the minutes as Kathy's assistant but today I also had to serve Kathy, Robert, the marketing director and all the salesmen their coffee. It was obvious that in my fairly short skirt, that all the men were checking me out. Kathy explained to all of them why I was dressed the way I was. They all started to chuckle and laugh; they all thought it was a great solution as they would not want to see the other secretaries in pants either.

The meeting dragged on until lunch. Subsequent to this, Kathy and I usually went out together but she took me aside. Starting today, since that except for special occasions, she did not eat with the other secretaries, she would no longer eat with me. She told me that I would take my lunch with the secretaries, and that I should eat in the 11:30 to 12:30 shift. The rest of the day dragged on and the teasing continued but it had abated a bit. I was never so glad that the day ended and could go home.

That night Kathy told me to get all my male clothes together. It did not take a genius to know what was next. I boxed everything up and on Tuesday morning, on the way to work, we dropped of ten boxes of clothes at Good Will. As we drove out of the parking lot, I knew that for the foreseeable future, I would be living full time as Rika.

The second day was pretty much a repeat of the first except that the men were not in the office. Just before lunch, Kathy called me into her office. She told me that it would be a good idea to go down to DMV, tell them I lost my driver's license and get a new one with my initials and a new picture. I said, "Did I have to?" Yes, it would be more embarrassing if I got pulled over with my old one. I did as I was told and the woman at the DMV said nothing, had me sign a change form and then had my photo taken.

Things settled into a routine after that. About two weeks later, after the teasing died down and I became fully situated with my new position, she brought me to her OB-GYN for a physical. I knew what was next as she prescribed a combination of female hormones and started me on hormone therapy. About eight weeks later, at the first sign that the hormones were starting to take effect, she told me that she no longer wanted to sleep with me and sent me packing to the spare bed room. A month after that, she lost interest in my feminization and she broke off our engagement. Immediately I knew why, she was starting to date other men, starting with Robert, the marketing director. Although we lived under the same roof, we were no longer intimate in any way. She thought nothing of inviting Robert over and she expected me to cook and serve them both. I thought "How much worse could it get?" It did not take long to find out.

By that time I was starting to develop breasts quite nicely and with no clothes or job prospects, I was pretty much stuck where I was. The next step was to reassign me as Barb was given my post as Kathy's assistant along with a formal title and raise. Since I have a marketing degree, I was reassigned as Robert's assistant. Since I had a degree, the other secretaries could not complain. Robert was no fun to work for at all. He teased me the most when I started working as a female and I guess she thought it to be punishment to be assigned to him, which it is. I did not last long, only about two weeks. I asked to be reassigned again but there were no openings so I was forced to quit.. Now I temp as a secretary for four different agencies. I work pretty much every day and when I am not, I have freelance writing work, copywriting that I do. Hopefully I can get hired at one of the agencies on a full time basis.

During the time between the end of our engagement and me quitting, I sometimes dated male clients for her business functions. Never sex, just to escort them when they visited her plant. Currently I have no steady boyfriend but would like to. Someone who is understanding and can accept me for what I am and what I will be. I hope that once I get back on my feet, I can save up for SRS. For now I just need to survive. It is just a matter of time before I move out. Kathy has been somewhat understanding as I don't contribute anywhere near 1/2 the household expenses but in reality the only space I take up is my room. I still cook as a means of equalizing things.

Many ask if I am happy and can I go back? Hard to say with all certainty on either question. Since I always had transgender tendencies, this has been an interesting experience to go through. From the comments I get on-line, it is every TV/TG/TS dream come true. In reality it is a hard struggle. I have pretty much lost my identity and my job history is now nil, except for the past year as a secretary. As far as going back to living as a male, the hormones have already started to have an effect. If I stop, most of the effects will go away but I do like some of the changes, especially in my temperment. I am a lot calmer now, far less intense than I once was.

I need a good sized break from someone who is not afraid to hire a skilled marketing person who happens to be transgendered. I pass no problem, visually, but my voice is still suspect. If you can help or would like to make any comments, please E-mail me at rikamarie2@aol.com. If you want to see what I look like, if you are on AOL, you can type GALLERY as a keyword to go to the on-line photo gallery. Next click on the search icon. When the next screen comes up, click on all galleries then type in transsexual as a keyword. A number of listings will appear. Any that say Rikamarie1 or Erika Dale are my GIFs. Follow the directions to download and you are set.

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