Okay, guys. Here's Chapter 6. If you like the story, let me know - I love getting the feedback!! ehlrich@hotmail.com Enjoy! ====================================================================
"It's time to talk," Gary said.
"I thought you didn't want to deal with all that shit today?"
"I really don't. But at the same time, I can't justify leaving you hanging and leading you on."
"Leading me on? What do you mean? I don't feel lead on. I know the reality of the situation."
"Do you?" Gary seemed to be getting slightly aggravated.
"Easy, babe. I DO understand. I've never been in the situation so I can't say that I understand fully but I DO understand."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to raise my voice. I'm just afraid that Karen is going to find out. And then I don't know what will happen."
"I know. And you have every right to be worried. If you wanted a future with her and she found out about this, you could never have that."
"And now I don't know if I want a future with her or not."
"What?"
"Drew, there's still a lot about me that you don't know. There's a lot about me that no one knows."
"There was more to you and Mike than just that one time, wasn't there?"
"Yeah," Gary said as he put his elbows up on the table and lowered his head into his hands.
"You alright?"
"Yeah."
But I didn't believe him. I could feel Gary's pain in the pit of my stomach as though it were my own. Something had happened to him and Mike. Something terrible.
"You want to wrap that up?" The waiter asked.
Gary lifted his head - somewhat startled and obviously shaken, "uhhh....yeah, sure."
The waiter cleared the table, asked us if we wanted any dessert and when we told him we were both stuffed, he said he would be right back with the check.
"Let's wait until we get out of here and then I'll tell you everything."
"Okay."
For the first time during the entire day we were silent - and the silence truly was deafening. I could feel Gary falling deeper and deeper into his painful memories. It was becoming clear to me that Gary hadn't dealt with whatever happened and that he had probably bottled this up for years. The check couldn't come fast enough. I wanted to get out of there so that I could hold him and tell him that it was all going to be okay.....even though I knew that it probably wouldn't be.
When we got to the car, Gary just sat in the drivers seat and stared blankly at the road ahead.
"Where are we gonna go?"
"I'm not sure. I want to go somewhere where we can talk. Someplace private. But I can't think of anyplace."
"Let's just head back to the cabin. I know it's out of our way, but......."
"Hang on, then. There's something I have to do."
Gary pulled out his cell phone and dialed.
"Hey!" Gary was putting on his best act to appear happy. I knew that he must be talking to Karen. "Yeah we're havin' a blast! How about you? Are you home yet? ................. Okay, well, we just had dinner and now we're gonna head to a bar for some drinks. .............. We haven't decided yet. ............... That's cool. .................. Alright, call me later. ................. I love you too," and he hung up.
"She's going out with a couple of the girls from work when they get out so we've got plenty of time," he said.
"Cool."
Gary started the car and headed back to the cabin. Shortly into the ride, Gary broke the silence.
"Drew, I loved him. Our one time encounter brought feelings up in me that I had always had but had never been consciously aware of. It scared the shit out of me at first."
Gary's speech slowed. His sentences became broken.
"Was I gay? I couldn't be. Being gay was wrong - or so I had been taught."
Gary's face looked pained. He stopped talking. I moved my hand over to his knee and he continued slowly.
"Somehow, I managed to convince myself that I wasn't gay. That I just loved Mike. Don't ask me how my brain rationalized it. I couldn't tell ya'. But it did." Another break of silence. It was as though he kept getting lost in his thoughts and had to refocus on driving for a minute or two before he could keep going.
"So, I just enjoyed what we had. Didn't think about it. Tried not to think of the reality of what was going on. We decided we would keep seeing each other secretly and managed to do so for a few months. But, the fact that neither one of us had girlfriends......and the fact that we spent all of our spare time together was lost on no one. Especially not his parents. Eventually, they cornered him. Asked him flat out if he was gay. He told them the truth."
"Holy shit!"
"Yeah. His parents were totally cool with it. They loved me. And they didn't care that their son was gay. The only cared that he was happy."
"So, what happened?"
We turned back into the driveway of the cabin and pulled up to the front door.
"Let's go inside," he said.
So, we got out of the car and let ourselves in once again. Gary and I went into the kitchen and I started to boil water for tea.
"So, I told him that I needed to see him." Gary's sentences were still broken. Only now I could tell by his blank stare that he was reliving the entire thing in his head.
"He told me to come over. I got in my car. I don't think I've ever driven that fast," he gave a half-laugh. "When I got there, his Mom answered the door. I walked in and she wrapped her arms around me and told me that it was okay. ...................
------ Mike's House - 5 years ago -----
"No, it's not." Gary said as he pushed away. "Where is he?"
"Gary, he's been through a lot today. It took a lot of courage for him to tell us the truth. And now he needs your love and support." Joan Williams was a sweet woman. She was tall, slender and had beautiful dark hair that fell just below her shoulders. She was dressed casually in jeans and a plain heavy white T-shirt. The look on her face could only be described as love and concern. She wanted to be there for Gary and wanted to protect her son as well.
"Does he have any idea what he's done? This was supposed to be between us. No one was ever supposed to know."
"How long could you two possibly carry on like that?"
She was right, Gary thought to himself. How long did they really expect to be able to pull it off for? He hadn't thought about it before. He enjoyed Mike's company so much that he just took everything day by day.
"I don't know. We hadn't thought that far ahead."
"Look," she reached out her hand and placed it on his face, "no one else has to know until you are ready. But if you don't want people to know, you have to be more careful. We can't possibly be the only ones that suspect something."
"WHAT?" That hadn't occured to Gary either.
Mike appeared at the top of the stairs. A smile came across his face when he saw Gary but was quickly replaced by a look of concern when he saw the anger in Gary's eyes.
"What the FUCK have you done?"
"Gary, I..."
"You what? You decided to tell your parents you're a big queer?"
"GARY!", Joan interjected.
"What's next? Are you going to make an announcement at school? I mean, Jesus, it's our senior year. Why not fuck it up?"
"GARY! What has gotten IN to you?" Joan knew that this was not Gary that was talking. She had never heard Gary raise his voice to anyone and certainly not to her son.
"What did you want me to do, Gary? Did you want me to lie? To keep lying?"
"YES!"
"Well, that may be possible for you, but I can't do it anymore. I'm tired of hiding."
"That's great! Congratu-fucking-lations. You're an out, proud homo."
"Gary. If you don't calm down, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," Joan stated as calmly as she could.
"Mike, I don't have the option of telling my parents. I don't have the option of having ANYONE find out. It would ruin my entire life. My parents would disown me. My chances at going to college would be over. My entire life would fall apart."
Mike walked down the stairs.
"Mom, it's okay. You can go."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"Just remember that I love you both very much. Gary, you've been like another son. I know how much you love each other and that doesn't come along very often. Don't throw it away because of what other people think."
Gary had to control himself from responding. He knew that it would quickly get out of hand and he would say a lot of things he didn't mean. Mrs. Williams turned, walked up the stairs, went to her room and closed the door.
Gary looked at Mike with the coldest look that he had ever given him.
"Michael, I can't see you anymore."
"Don't say that. And don't call me Michael."
"It's over. This whole thing was a major lapse in judgement."
"Loving me was a lapse in judgement?" Mike said as the tears slowly started to form in his eyes.
"I loved you like a friend. Nothing more."
"Bullshit!" Mike was becoming more and more emotional everytime that Gary spoke. Gary's responses were growing colder and colder.
"If you misread our relationship, I'm sorry. We were just two horny guys helping each other out. But what we were doing was wrong and you know it."
"What?"
"My parents didn't raise me to be a homo."
"Where is this coming from? You've been okay with this for months!" Mike was yelling through his tears.
Gary started to respond and then stopped. He didn't know what to say. He knew deep down that he had been okay with everything. He had been more than okay with it. So, he said the only thing he could think of. And it wasn't him that was speaking - it was his father.
"Being gay is a sin. And I refuse to condemn myself to hell for you or anyone else," he said as he turned for the door. Gary couldn't believe what he had just said. It was as though his father had spoken through him. He had heard his father bash homosexuality since he was a child.
The teapot whistled and brought Gary back to the present. I turned the stove off and poured each of us a cup of tea.
"Come on," I said as I lead him back into the sitting room. We sat down next to each other on the couch sipping our tea and I put my free hand on his leg.
"I was really fucked up at that point. Part of me knew how much I loved Mike. But, I couldn't deal with it. Whatever rationale my brain had created completely unraveled when I found out that our relationship might become public."
"Well, judging by how your family would have reacted, I can understand your reaction."
"Drew, I love my family. I couldn't lose them. It would have killed me. But it's not just my family. You went to private school. It's different there. Mike and I wouldn't have survived our senior year if anyone had found out. I had too much to lose."
"So," Gary took a deep breath before continuing, "all the feelings that Mike started to bring out in me got pushed back. And I didn't just push them away....I buried them. I locked them up as tightly as I could. I became a different person. Made new friends. Even changed some of my classes to stay away from him. The summer after senior year was hard. And then college came. And then Karen."
"Every now and then," he continued, "I would catch myself looking at a guy. Allowing my eyes to lock on his ass for a little longer than they should have. And I just continued to try and train my brain to ignore those feelings - those thoughts. And I did a damned good job at it. That is, until...." and for the first time since dinner, Gary's eyes met mine.
Those eyes. Those powerful eyes. They drew me in closer to him and as both of our eyes closed, I felt the now familiar touch of his lips on mine. It was a simple kiss. Nothing lustful or sexual. Just a sweet, simple kiss.
"Drew, I'm scared."
"I know."
"Even when I snuck into your room the other night, I was still in denial. What was one of the first things I said to you? Wasn't it 'I'm not gay but...'?"
"Yeah," I chuckled.
"Who am I trying to fool? I can't believe I've managed to fool myself for as long as I have."
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"If you came out of the closet and decided you wanted to be with a man. Would you miss being with a woman?"
"Honestly? I think I would miss being with Karen. Not being with a woman. Karen and I have a special bond. We know each other very well. We know each others bodies. Whether I'm gay or bi or whatever, I love her. And I think it has less to do with her being a woman than it does with her just being her. Does that make sense?"
"Absolutely. You two have quite a history together. Seven years is a LONG time."
"I think I have to tell her the truth."
"But don't you think you should wait until you know what you want? If you tell her the truth, she's going to want to know whether she's supposed to be forgiving you so that you two can move on or if she's supposed to just let go."
"I don't know if I can make any kind of decision as long as I'm with her. I think we might need time apart."
"That's a big decision, hun." Although a big part of me wanted Gary to break things off with Karen, I didn't want him to make a rash decision and this was all happening too quickly.
"You're right. I can't tell her yet."
Gary repositioned himself so that he was resting his body on mine with his head in the crook of my neck. I wrapped my arms around him as best I could, turned my head and kissed his forehead.
My kiss was returned with feather-light kisses on my neck. It was sending chills all throughout my body. It was all I could do to control myself and not get aroused. Now hardly seemed like the time to....wait....his feather-light kisses became a little deeper.
I let out a little moan without even realizing it.
Gary whispered into my neck, "Why can't I keep my hands and mouth off of your body?"
"That feels so good."
He opened his mouth a little more and allowed his teeth to gently brush across my neck before biting down gently. This time I let out a more deliberate moan as I reached around and put my hand on the back of his head to pull his face closer to my flesh. I loved having someone kiss and bite my neck. It always turns me on.
"I want you so badly," I said.
I reached over and allowed my hand to wander between Gary's legs. I stroked his inner thigh, kneading the muscle and working my way up towards his crotch. When I reached his cock, I could feel that it was already throbbing in his pants.
Gary continued to kiss and bite along my neck as I started to undo his pants. The second that I could feel the flesh of his dick in my hand, I pulled away from his kisses on my neck, brought my head to his lap and plunged his cock into my throat.
"Oh, fuck!"
I held him in my mouth and didn't move at all. I could feel his pulse in his dick and it was causing just enough movement to provide him with a little stimulation and a lot of teasing.
"Oh, baby. That feels so good. Don't move."
He was loving it. But I wasn't about to just sit there. My tongue was getting bored. So, I allowed my tongue to press against his shaft and move against it. I didn't have much room for movement with his manhood totally inside my mouth but it was enough.
"Oooohhh," he said with a whimpering moan.
If I hadn't been buried almost completely in his pants, I would've stayed there longer but it was getting difficult to breathe and I had to come up for air. So, I pulled about 2 inches of his cock out and left the rest buried in my mouth. Just enough to give me more breathing room. I began slowly moving my head up and down his cock no more than one inch in either direction.
"Oh my GOD! You are so fucking amazing."
I had to taste his sweet cum. It was all I wanted. I was craving it. And I knew that if I kept this up, it wouldn't take terribly long. So, I reached over and encircled the base of his cock with my hand as best as I could (given the limited space). I added my hand to the slow strokes with my mouth and instantly felt his dick swell in my mouth even more. He was ROCK hard. I tightened my lips and the grip on his cock. I didn't want to change the pace but the increase in pressure seemed to be enough to begin to push him over the edge.
"FUCK! Please don't stop."
I obeyed and continued my tight, slow strokes of his beautiful manhood. Feeling it pulse and throb in my mouth was making me incredibly hard.
"Keep doing exactly what you're doing, babe. Oh - yes"
Every shallow thrust down my throat brought him closer and closer to his orgasm. I could feel it. I tightened my grip just a little bit more and buried him in my throat again. My mouth continued it's tight shallow thrusting but now he was even deeper.
"Oh....god....oh.....fuck....."
That was it. I felt the first shot and swallowed it right down. Gary was now pushing his cock into my face. If it wasn't completely buried before, it definitely was now and I was loving it!
"Fuck, babe." Gary's dick had stopped pulsing and his orgasm had subsided. His head was tilted back and his breathing was still quite heavy. I slowly raised my head off of his dick and gave a nice "mmmmm" along the entire length of his shaft.
"That was fucking amazing," he said. "By far - the best blowjob I have ever had in my entire life."
"Flattery will get you everywhere!" And I laughed.
Gary picked his head up and brought his lips to mine. The kisses were slow and sweet. I'm sure the pace was partly because Gary was still trying to catch his breath but I could also feel the emotion that he was trying to convey.
"Do we have to leave the cabin? Can't we just stay here forever?" he asked.
"Unfortunately, my dear, we do have to go back home at some point," I said as I stroked his face gently.
"I'm falling in love with you."
"I know. I feel the same way. But we still have the reality of our lives that we have to deal with."
Gary's cell phone rang.
"Ahhh, yes, here's the reality check now," he said as he looked at the caller ID and saw Karen's number. He held it in his hand for a moment and stared at the screen before finally deciding to answer it.
"Hello". Suddenly, Gary's face went pale. She must have said something that made him uncomfortable.
"OH!........Uhhhh - we - actually - - just left. We're headed home..................Yeah, everything's fine! No - I - just - don't feel that good. Something didn't agree with my stomach.........Yeah, we'll see you in a bit........Okay, bye."
"Shit," Gary said. "She asked what bar we were at. All the girls were tired so Karen wanted to meet us wherever we were for more drinks. I SUCK at lying. We have to go." Gary put himself back together and we headed back to the car.
The ride to the house was filled with small talk. Neither one of us knew what was going to happen when we walked in the door. And neither one of us really wanted to think about it.
When we finally did pull up, Karen's car was already in the driveway.
"Well, here goes nothing," Gary said as he leaned over and gave me a quick peck before reaching for the door handle. Suddenly, I noticed his face go pale again.
"Oh, fuck," he said.
I turned my head towards the door to see where he was looking and saw Karen on the front step. She had a look of complete confusion on her face. She had seen the kiss.