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As always, your comments are welcome, appreciated and often inspiring. ehlrich@comcast.net
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The rest of dinner between Gary and his Aunt went along quite smoothly with very casual conversation. She had decided that if Gary wasn't going to give her the answers she was looking for that she wouldn't press the issue. She did, however, have a plan to get answers...one way or another.
On the way back to the house, Gary stared out the window. Although his brain was full of worries, he had somehow managed to quiet all of them to enjoy the peaceful scenery that passed by. The classical CD that his Aunt was playing complemented the beauty of the world around him. It was as if time was slowing down long enough to let him notice individual blades of grass, the beautiful blossoms on every tree and the smiles on the childrens' faces as they played in the park.
As they drove by the trail that he and Marcus had walked down, his mind wandered and brought him back to his sexual encounter with his adopted cousin. Using the words "sexual encounter" and "cousin" in the same sentence still bothered Gary a little bit but he had to remind himself that they weren't blood related. He also had to remind himself not to pop an erection while in the car with his Aunt. 'That - would be bad,' he thought and laughed to himself.
Thinking of things that would be bad for his Aunt to know brought him back to their dinner conversation. He wondered how many more times she would bring it up and how long he would be able to avoid the subject without having to make up a lie. That was the last thing he wanted to do. His Aunt had been so kind to him and he would not repay her with deceit.
Gary's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the car pulling into the gravel driveway.
"Well," his Aunt said quietly, "I'm not usually one for silence...as I'm sure you know. But that was a lovely ride. It's just so peaceful out today. And with the sun just starting to set. It's almost magical."
"So it wasn't just me?" Gary replied.
"What do you mean, dear?"
"I was thinking the exact same thing. It's beautiful out."
"Our Dear Lord certainly does know how to paint a pretty picture, doesn't He?"
"Yes. Yes He does."
They both sat very still in the car for a moment. Now, just staring into the yard. Noticing the birds and flowers that Mary had tended to so carefully.
"You really did need some peace and quiet, didn't you?" his Aunt asked.
"More than you know."
"C'mon, Sport," Mary reached over and patted him on the knee, "let's get inside."
They climbed out of the SUV and Gary had to stifle his laughter after noticing the license plates on his Aunt's car - JC ROX.
When they went inside, Marcus was sitting on the couch watching TV. When he saw Gary, he perked up and became almost fidgety. Mary set her keys down on the table by the door and then walked into the kitchen. Marcus immediately tapped the spot next to him on the couch.
"Jeez, Marc. You look like you're gonna piss yourself. What's goin' on?" Gary walked over and sat down on the couch next to his cousin.
Marcus' eyes widened and he leaned in to whisper to Gary. "Mike called."
"WHAT?"
Marcus giggled like a little kid and Mary walked in from the other room.
"Everything okay?"
"Fine, Mom. I'm just bein' a pain in the butt and buggin' Gary again."
"Keep that up and he'll never come back to visit us. Why don't you go upstairs or outside or something inside of sitting in front of that stupid box."
"But, Mom."
"Don't 'but, mom' me, young man. Heaven only knows how long you've been sitting in here watching that thing."
Marcus sighed, pointed the remote at the TV and turned it off. "Wasn't anything good on anyway," he mumbled as he got up and walked out the front door. Gary followed.
"Gary," his Aunt called after him, "do you want to stay inside and have some coffee with me?"
"Aww. No thanks. If I have coffee now, I'll be up all night." Gary would've said anything to follow Marcus out and get more information but, fortunately, his Aunt had made it easy for him.
"Alright then. Just don't wander off too far."
"We won't."
After getting about 5 feet from the house, Gary started hounding Marcus.
"So...what did he say?"
"Not much, actually. Just that he was looking for you."
"Did he leave a number?"
"Oh. Shit."
"You didn't get a number?" Gary was almost whining.
"Sorry, dude. Wasn't thinkin'." Marcus snapped his fingers. "We do, however, have caller ID! The phone stores the last 20 numbers."
"Thank God for that."
"Yeah, but how are you gonna call him from the house?" Marcus asked.
"I'm not, doofus. I have my cell phone with me."
"Just don't say anything even remotely incriminating within 20 feet of the house. Mom has amazing ears," he paused. "Selective hearing though. I can be in the next room trying to talk to her and she won't hear a damned thing. I mumble 'God Dammit' under my breath in the back yard and she screams out of her bedroom window - 'I HEARD THAT!'"
Gary laughed. "When am I gonna call him?"
"I dunno. The sooner the better. He sounded pretty anxious to talk to you."
"Would you mind running in and grabbing the number for me?"
"How the HELL am I supposed to do that with Mom lurking around?"
"Carefully," Gary replied with a grin.
"Asshole." He turned back around and walked towards the house.
When Marcus opened the door, he was very careful to open it slowly and quietly. He did the same when he closed it behind him. His Aunt was seated at the kitchen table with her back to him. He walked quietly over to the caller ID unit and pushed the "back" button. He recited the number to himself several times inside his head since there was nothing to write it down on. When he was sure he had it, he turned back towards the door.
"Marcus," his Mother said. He turned to find that her back was still to him. 'How the fuck did she know I was here,' he thought to himself.
"Yeah, Mom?"
"Come in here for a minute. I need to talk to you about your cousin."
Marcus felt a huge pit form in his stomach as he walked slowly to the kitchen. He contemplated running out of the house but, instead, obeyed his Mother and walked around to the other side of the table.
"Sit," she said, expressionless.
He did as he was told, pulled out a chair and sat down.
"Marcus," she stopped for a moment and silently begged forgiveness from the Lord for the lie she was about to tell, "Gary told me everything."
The color drained from Marcus' face. He instantly felt as though the pit in his stomach was going to come up and he was going to vomit all over the table.
"Judging by your silence, I assume that you understand the severity of the situation."
Marcus was too stunned to speak.
"Marcus, just tell me what he said to you about his reason for coming here. I need to know if there's more that I don't know."
Suddenly, it donned on Marcus. It hit him like a ton of breaks and he could feel the pit in his stomach begin to dissipate. She had no idea. He almost couldn't believe how conniving his Mother was being. It was completely out of character for her.
"Well, there isn't much to tell, is there? I mean - what did he tell you? It almost sounds like you know more than I do."
Mary found herself extremely embarrassed. She could tell by Marcus' sudden rise of confidence that he could see right through her little charade. 'This is what I get for trying to lie,' she said to herself.
"Marc, I'm just worried about him."
"Mom," he said, reaching across the table and putting his hands on hers, "there's nothing to worry about. As I'm sure he told you."
"I guess I was just hoping you had more insight than he was willing to offer."
"Mom. I'm not going to lie to you," Marcus' confidence had given him a foothold that he hadn't expected, "Gary has opened up to me a little bit more than anyone else here but it's nothing to worry about. He just has a lot on his mind. Things weren't comfortable at home anymore and he needed to get away."
"Weren't comfortable?"
"Please don't ask me to tell you anymore. What little I do know is something that Gary shared as an act of trust. You know I can't lie to you and I don't want to feel like I'm holding anything back from you. But I can't violate Gary's trust in me." Marcus was surprised at how well he was digging himself out of what he was sure was going to be his doom just a few minutes ago.
Mary sighed. "I just want both of you to feel like you can talk to me about anything. Seriously. Anything. That's what Mom's and Aunt's are for."
Marcus stood up from his chair, walked around to her side of the table, kissed her on the forehead and replied, "I know." He headed back towards the door and yelled over his shoulder, "We won't be out too late."
I felt the soft touch of Derek's lips on my own. His kiss was so sweet and gentle. If I could have slowed time and lived in this moment, I would have been so happy. We were sitting on the couch in my living room. His legs were bent at the knee and he sat partially on my lap and partially supported by his own legs. My heart was pounding and I could feel my dick beginning to throb in my pants. Although I was enjoying the slow kisses, I couldn't help but think about the dream I had about Derek just a few nights ago.
I heard the familiar thud of someone nudging the swinging door between the kitched and the living room. Derek and I broke our kiss and turned to find my Dad standing in the doorway.
"Dad." Derek quickly got off my lap and sat next to me on the couch. We were both bright red with embarrassment. I felt like a little kid that had been caught stealing out of the cookie jar. "I...didn't know you were home."
"Just...got in. I...uh....came in the back door today. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."
"No, no. It's fine. We were just.."
My Dad interrupted me, "Yeah. I." He paused. "I'll be in the kitchen." He turned back into the kitchen and the door swung shut.
"I'll be right back, Derek," I said, reaching over and grabbing my crutches.
"Do you want me to.."
"No. I'd better handle this one on my own. Dad caught me giving Gary a little peck but he's never seen me really kissing another guy."
"Oh. Shit. That's always tough. Even my Dad had a little bit of a hard time with that one and he's wicked open-minded."
"Dad's getting better," I said, straining to lift myself up, "but I think this was a bit of a shocker." I got myself balanced and started to head for the door. "I just don't want the lines of communication that we're building to break down."
"Scream like a girl if ya' need me," Derek mumbled as I disappeared into the kitchen and the door swung shut once again. I had to try not to laugh.
"Uhm, Dad."
"Hey!" Dad reacted as though this was the first time he had seen me since he got home. "How was your day?"
"Dad? You okay?"
"I'm fine," he said with a half smile.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah! Why wouldn't I be?"
"Well, you just walked in on me and Derek kissing."
"Oh! That! Bah. Don't worry about that."
Dad was totally brushing it off like nothing had happened. Or at least he was trying to. I knew better. This was really bugging him.
"Dad. We've been doing really good about talking to each other over the past several weeks. Let's not start hiding things from each other again. Talk to me."
My father looked at me and I could swear that I almost saw tears in his eyes.
"I. Just. Well, I'm still getting used to all of this, kiddo. I'm tryin'. Really, I am."
"I know, Dad."
"It's not that I was grossed out or anything like that. I don't want you to think that. I just didn't expect to see my lit..." he trailed off and then sighed. "You're not my little boy anymore."
"Dad."
Now both my father and I were fighting back the tears. I don't know why. We probably could've used a good cry with each other.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"Don't be! I'm sorry that you just walked in on that. I mean, we weren't doing anything wrong but."
"No, no. Not at all! And I don't ever want you to feel like you can't be yourself in this house. I guess I just wasn't ready. I mean - you and Derek have been friends for - hell," he broke his thought and paused. "I know I wasn't much of a father but it was almost like I had two sons."
"Dad. We can't dwell on the past. We had our bumps and bruises but we're stronger for it. Just the fact that we can talk about this proves it. We've come a long way in a short period of time."
"We sure have," he smiled.
"Just don't ever shut down on me again. Ok? I can't lose you again."
That was it. The lump in my throat overwhelmed me and I could feel the tears uncontrollably start to fall from my eyes. My father walked over to me, arms open, and I leaned into him. He had started to cry as well.
We heard the back door unlock and Mom stepped inside. Her face fell.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothin', Mom." I sniffed and reached up to wipe my eyes. Dad did the same.
"This doesn't look like nothing. What's wrong with my two favorite boys?" She dropped her purse and walked over to us. She put one hand on each of our shoulders.
"Drew and I were just talking and it got a little emotional, that's all," Dad said as he reached across his chest and put his hand on top of Mom's.
"Yeah," I joked, "we figured out that we actually like having each other around, dammit." Dad and I laughed but Mom still looked concerned. "Honest, Mom. We're fine. Poor Dad just had a bit of a scare."
"Why?" She asked.
"I accidentally walked in on Andrew and Derek."
"Doing what?" Her tone had changed to one of shock and the color started to drain out of her face.
"Mom! Don't freak! We were just kissing!"
"Oh. Christ! You don't even want to know what just went through my head," she said, the color returning to her face, going from pale to red.
"Perv," I said with a laugh.
Mom was speechless. Her mouth hung open for a second as she searched for the words that were quickly replaced with laughter.
"That's it," she said between laughs. "No more family bonding. I think I liked it better when my son didn't call me a PERV!"
I puckered up my lips and made a fake kissing sound at her, "MWAH!"
"Yeah, yeah," and then she got a puzzled look on her face. "Wait a second. Where's Derek?"
"Oh, I threw him out," Dad said with a straight face.
"You - did - not!" Mom replied.
"Sure did," I said.
She slapped his arm. "Well GO - GET - HIM!"
Dad walked over to the kitchen door and swung it open into the living room. "Hey Derek." Mom peaked around the corner and then slapped my Dad's arm again after seeing Derek sitting on the couch. Derek smiled and waved, "Hi, Mom." And, for some reason, that earned Dad another playful slap.
"Ouch!"
"What was that I said about my two favorite boys? More like my two favorite pain-in-the-asses!" She turned to me. "You're lucky you're on crutches, Mister," she said through a squinted eye, a pointed finger and a smile.
"I love you, Mommy." I said with a big cheesy grin.
"HA! Now that our little three ring circus is over, someone," she looked at my Dad, "needs to go out and get the groceries out of my car."
"Yes, Mommy," he said to my mother, mimicking me.
"Ooooo, you're both gonna get it."
He let go of the swinging door, walked by her, kissed her on the cheek and whispered, "promise?"
"DAD!"
He giggled and walked out the door.
I hobbled back over to the door into the living room and pushed it open with my crutch.
"ANDREW! Let me help you for Christ's sake!"
"I got it, Mom." But it was too late, she was already helping. I made my way over to the couch and sat back down next to Derek.
"So, scared your father good, did ya'?" Mom said.
"He handled it pretty well. He only stopped breathing for a few seconds." I giggled.
"Derek, sweetheart. Are you staying for dinner?" Mom asked.
"Actually," Derek said with hesitation and a glance over at me, "I was kinda hoping I could get Andrew out of the house for a bit. Maybe we could go to dinner somewhere?"
"A chance to get out of the house? I don't care where you take me," I replied with a smile, "take me to frickin' Charlie's Burger Shack. Just get me out!"
My Mom laughed. "Yeah, you really haven't BEEN anywhere except a doctor's office in quite awhile, have you?"
"NO! And I'm goin' nuts."
"Then, it's all settled," Derek said.
I looked down at the shorts and shirt I was wearing. I had on a baggy pair of khaki shorts and a polo. I felt a little grungy. "I'll have to take one of my lovely half-assed showers and change but..."
"Andrew, you look fine. Trust me. We're not going anywhere THAT fancy."
"If you say so," I replied.
"I do say so."
"Have fun, boys," Mom winked at us and went back into the kitchen. Derek and I got ready and headed out the door.
As Gary's fingers dialed Mike's number, his hands began to tremble. He hesitantly hit the talk button and brought the phone to his ear. He and Marcus had walked to "the clearing" (as they began to refer to it). He told Marcus that he was welcome to stick around and that it might be nice to have someone to talk to after he was done chatting with Mike. Marcus said he would stay unless Gary decided otherwise.
The phone rang three times and Gary was convinced he was about to be rolled into Mike's voicemail when finally, "Hello."
"Mike?"
There was silence on the other end as Mike suddenly found himself speechless. He recognized the voice instantly. And now that he had Gary on the phone, he wasn't sure what to say.
"Mike? Are you there?"
"Yeah. I'm here."
"How are you?" Gary asked. He wasn't sure where to begin.
"I'm okay," Mike said quietly, as if in a trance. "How are you?"
"I've been better."
Silence.
"Marcus said that you called me," Gary spoke up after a few seconds of silence.
"Yeah. I did."
"Everything okay?"
"Gary, I... Hang on. Give me a second to collect my thoughts here. I'm..."
"It's okay. Take your time."
"I'm not...I mean...don't think that I...ugh! Why is this so hard?"
"It's alright," Gary said softly.
"No, dammit! It's not alright! Nothing is alright. Nothing has been alright since the day I saw you in the woods."
For a quick second, Gary was flattered. Did this mean that maybe Mike still had feelings for him?
"Don't think that this means I want to get back together or anything insane like that. Because it doesn't."
"I wasn't thinking that at all," Gary lied.
"I guess that I'm just still a bit of a sucker when it comes to you and although I seemed like I didn't give a shit, I still feel like I need to know that you're going to be okay."
"Eventually. I mean - there's a lot of stuff that has happened."
"I'll tell you what," Mike said. "I'm not promising or offering anything beyond this conversation. But if you want to talk, you've got me for an hour or so. That's it. I can't let you back into my life. I just can't. But I also can't just walk away from you right now. I don't know why. But I can't."
"Deal. I just need someone that understands some of what I'm going through."
"Fine. But if I get at all uncomfortable with this, the conversation ends."
"Okay. Hang on a sec," Gary put his hand over the phone and turned to his cousin. "We're gonna be awhile, Marc."
"You gonna be okay," Marcus asked.
"Yeah. I'll be fine."
"Come see me when you get back to the house."
"I will."
Marcus walked by Gary and squeezed his shoulder as he passed.
"Sorry, Mike. I'm back."
"Are you somewhere where you can talk?"
"Yeah. My cousin was here though. For moral support. I told him I was okay and that he could go back home."
"Where are you?"
"Outside. We went for a walk."
"Ahhh. So, what's your deal?"
"I met a girl in college. Her name is Karen."
"I knew I wasn't going to like this," Mike said quietly.
"She and I have dated up until very recently. I was practically living with her."
"This just gets better and better."
"Mike."
"Sorry. Go on."
"Well, she lived with two other people. A girl named Stacey and a gay guy named Andrew. Well," Gary paused, "to try and some up the basics. Andrew and I screwed around and Karen found out about it."
"And she dumped you like yesterday's garbage," Mike said sarcastically.
"Yeah," Gary was trying to set his emotions aside and just tell the story. But he knew it wouldn't be easy.
"So, now you're stuck with a decision. This Andrew guy or the chick. Is that about right?"
"Yeah, sorta. But there are a lot of little details that you're missing."
"Start talkin'."
Gary filled Mike in about my accident and how his confusion with his sexuality had caused a rift between him & I. He quickly lost control of his emotions once he started talking about the confusion in his mind. He felt as though he was having a hard time grabbing ahold of one thought and forming a solid sentence.
"Calm down for a second," Mike said. "You need to breathe." Mike hated hearing Gary this upset. Even though part of him felt that Gary was getting what he deserved.
"And then Karen told my Mom. She freaked and shipped me out here."
"How the hell did she ship you anywhere? It's not like you're 12!"
"I went somewhat willingly. I needed a place to think," Gary was starting to focus a little more and his breath was finally returning to him.
"That does explain why she was such a mega beotch to me."
"When?"
"I stopped by your house the other day. It wasn't pretty. Fortunately, your Dad bailed me out."
"Yeah. He's a regular fuckin' hero."
"Gary, let's bring the focus back to what's really going on here. You're confused about your sexuality. Bottom line. Right?"
"Well, yeah."
"Or are you not confused and you can't deal with the truth?"
"Maybe." Gary started to cry again. "I don't fucking know. I don't know anything."
"Gare. Stop crying and listen to me." Mike paused until he heard Gary's breath slow a little. "Are you listening?"
"Yeah."
"I can't tell you whether or not you're gay or bi or straight. Nobody can. Nobody but you. And I know how confused you are. But you need to talk to someone that can really help you sort all of this out. Go see a shrink. I can't deal with this. I don't have any advice to give you. It's going to take time to sort this out."
"Mikey?"
Mike resisted the temptation to scream at Gary for using his old pet-name. "What?"
"I still love you."
There was silence for a brief moment. The rage began to boil inside of Mike.
"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" Mike screamed into the phone. He hit the END button on his phone and then threw it across his Mom's living room.
Gary waited for Mike to say something else.
"Mike? Mikey?"
Gary took his phone away from his ear and looked at the display. It was blinking "CALL ENDED." That meant that Mike had hung up on him. If the signal had been lost, it would have said so.
Gary started to sob. He clenched his fists and yelled at the night sky.
Mike sat on his Mother's living room couch, shaking.
Well, Karen had done it. She had taken her therapists advice and decided that she could handle going out with Justin. There was, however, one condition. Stacey and her boyfriend, Josh, had to come along. Stacey agreed in a heartbeat. She was thrilled over the idea that Karen had slowly begun the healing process.
"Hello," the waiter said. "My name is Gary and I'll be your server this evening." Karen and Stacey both looked at each other. Karen thought to herself, 'strike one'.
"Can I start you folks off with anything to drink?"
One by one they placed their drink order. Karen, sensing that she needed to loosen up a little, ordered a glass of wine. After the waiter stepped away, Stacey felt the need to break the silence that had fallen over the table.
"So, Justin, what do you do?"
"I'm a professor, actually," Justin replied somewhat nervously.
"Really? What do you teach?"
"English."
"Just general English courses?" Josh asked.
"Well, no," Justin replied. "I actually have four specialized courses that I teach. There's my Creative Writing Seminar, Women's Literature."
"Really?" Stacey interrupted. "How does that work?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I mean, a guy teaching a class on Women's Lit. You don't get any flack for that?"
"Well, no. Two of my other classes are completely irrelevant to my life as well. But you don't have to belong to a particular group to enjoy the literature."
"What are the other two groups?" Karen asked.
"One is African-American and the other is Gay and Lesbian."
'Strike two', Karen thought to herself as, once again, she and Stacey simply stared at each other.
Their waiter, Gary, returned with the drinks they had ordered and Karen didn't even give him a chance to set the wine glass on the table. She needed to start drinking as soon as possible.
"So," Gary asked, "are you folks ready to order?"
"Can we have a few more minutes?" Josh answered.
"Sure. Take your time."
"Excuse me," Karen said, "where are your restrooms?"
"The ladies room is in the far right corner."
"Thanks." She turned to everyone at the table, "excuse me for just a moment."
Karen stood up from the table. She knew that the wine couldn't have possibly hit her already but she felt slightly dizzy. She decided that it probably had more to do with the fact that she hadn't eaten since breakfast, was extremely nervous because she hadn't gone on a date in years AND was bombarded with the words 'Gary' and 'gay' in the course of only 5 minutes.
As Karen walked past the waiting area and towards the restroom, she heard a familiar voice and turned to see who it was. Before she could completely turn her head, she heard, "Oh shit!"
When Karen saw Derek and I sitting on the bench, waiting to be seated, she almost fainted. But, instead of fainting, and instead of actually addressing them, she simply continued on her mission to the bathroom. Because now, she was pretty sure that whatever food was in her stomach, was on it's way up. 'Strike three.'
Derek and I sat perfectly still as we watched Karen walk into the ladies room. After she stepped inside, she went straight for the stall. Fortunately, her "vomit alert" had been a false alarm. What she really wanted was some fresh air. But, a minute or two to collect herself in the restroom would have to do.
"So, what the fuck do we do now?" I said to Derek.
"What do you mean?" He said with a smile.
"Uhm - HELL-O! You did recognize her. Did you not?"
"Well, at first I wasn't sure it was her. But your 'oh shit' remark in the middle of our conversation kinda confirmed it for me."
"So. What are we going to do? We should go somewhere else."
"Bullshit. We'll just ask to be seated on the patio. She came from the other direction so we'll be just fine."
"Der."
"Trust me."
"Oh-kay," I said reluctantly.
Derek grabbed my chin and turned my face toward his. "Listen," he started...
After trying to take a few relaxing breaths, Karen walked out of the stall and walked up to the mirror. As she studied herself in the mirror, she had to give herself credit. Despite everything she had been through with Gary and despite all of the 'strikes' against the evening, she looked fabulous. She had put her hair up and was wearing a tight white shirt and tight jeans. She felt beautiful and she wasn't about to let anything ruin her evening with Justin.
She took a deep breath and walked out of the ladies room. She tried not to look in our direction but found herself compelled to take another look.
"Nothing is going to spoil our evening together." Derek hadn't seen Karen approaching us and, as he let go of my chin, said "Because this is our first official date and I won't allow it."
Karen heard, 'this is our first official date' and could almost hear a spring popping out of place in her head. The words stopped her dead in her tracks.
"HA!" She said rather loudly. "Can this night get ANY better?" She now had the attention of everyone in the waiting area and was staring at me.
"Karen," Derek said softly, "this is not the time or the pla.."
"Ya' know something, Derek. You really need to shut the fuck up right now because I don't have a problem with you."
"Karen. Can we talk?"
"Sure, Drew. We can talk."
"Calmly?"
"Please give me a reason why I should be calm, Andrew." She was speaking very sarcastically and looked as though she was about to bust out laughing.
"Derek is right. This really isn't the right place to be doing this but we really should talk this out."
Karen laughed again and then walked a little bit closer to me. "What is there to talk about? You fucked my boyfriend." Her volume level hadn't decreased at all and now everyone in the waiting area was looking directly at me.
"Karen..."
"FUCK YOU!" Her volume suddenly doubled and she now had the attention of the entire restaurant, including a very nervous Stacey.
Stacey stood up for the table and ran over to her. "Karen, not now."
"Stace. Don't fuck with me right now." She then turned her attention back to Derek and I. "So, is this your new toy, Andrew?"
I didn't know what to say to her. All I really wanted to do was crawl into a little hole and die. I really didn't want to deal with Karen at all - and I certainly didn't want to deal with her in a very public place.
"So. You fuck my boyfriend, steal him away from me and then move on to somebody else? Is that how this works?"
"I didn't steal your boyfriend, Karen."
"What, exactly, would you call it?"
"Well I didn't exactly twist his arm. And you know that he was with Mike before either of us."
"I'm sorry," the Manager had come over and he was looking around at all of us, "but I'm going to have to ask all of you to leave."
"I'll go get our purses," Stacey said as she walked back towards the table. Justin and Josh were leaving money on the table for the drinks and joined Stacey as she walked back to Karen.
"C'mon, sweetheart," Stacey said, grabbing Karen's arm. "Let's go."
They walked past us slowly and Karen's eyes remained locked on me until they got through the door. Stacey didn't look at me once. Derek then helped me up and we followed them out at a safe distance.
When we got outside, I noticed that there was a guy with them that I didn't recognize. I stopped for a moment and tried to figure out who he was. Then, he reached over and put his arm around Karen as they walked towards the car.
"Oh my God," I said to Derek who hadn't noticed that I had stopped.
"What?" He turned around and then walked back over to me. "Is everything okay?"
"That's her date."
"What are you talking about?"
"That guy. Look," and I nodded my head in the direction of Stacey's car, "He's got his arm around her. And I've never seen him before. She was totally out on a date."
"So?"
"So I probably just destroyed her date."
"Andrew. Listen to me. You've got to stop this. You either have to apologize to her once and for all or you have to just let it go."
"Apologizing to her isn't going to do a damned thing but alleviate my conscience. It's certainly not going to make her feel any better."
"You can't take all of the responsibility for this, Drew. Gary made a choice when he went into your room that night. Should you have said 'no'? Maybe. But you didn't. And now she knows the truth about her ex. Better that she find out now than 10 years from now when they're married and have kids, right?"
"I guess."
"When and if she's ready, she'll talk to you and be able to accept your apology. But, that day may never come and you just have to be able to deal with that."
"C'mon," I said somberly. I looked back at Stacey's car one last time and saw Stacey looking at me from over the car. She gave a small wave and a half smile before ducking down into her seat and closing the door. "Let's go."
"So," Derek said, helping me into the car, "where to now?"
"Jesus. I don't know."
"I've got an idea," he said. He closed my door, walked around to the drivers' side and got in. "Let's get a pizza, rent a movie and go back to the cabin."
"Perfect." It was exactly what I needed. A chance to relax but be somewhere other than home.
It was hours before Gary finally composed himself enough to start walking back towards the house. He was sure that his aunt would be wondering where he was and was surprised that she hadn't sent Marcus out to find him.
As Gary slowly made his way home, he couldn't help but think of all the things that had fallen apart in his life. His parents didn't want him. Karen would never want to see him again. He had, once again, pushed Mike away. And then, his mind wandered to me. He wasn't sure how he felt about me. But he knew that I wasn't exactly ready to deal with him either. I had told him that I couldn't be with him unless he was sure of what he wanted. And he definitely wasn't sure.
He had no one. And, suddenly, it hit him. He knew what he needed to do.
When he opened the door to his Aunt's house, she was sitting on the couch, watching television.
"Oh, praise Jesus. You're safe." She said with a genuinely worried look on her face. She stood up and turned off the television.
"Yeah," Gary said quietly. "You didn't have to wait up. I'm a big boy."
"Your mother trusted me with your care, dear."
"My mother could give two shits if I died."
"GARY!" She said in a whispered yell. "First and foremost, I don't appreciate that kind of language. And secondly, how dare you speak of your mother that way?"
"Aunt Mare," Gary said furiously. "You don't know very much about your sister, do you?"
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that you're clueless when it comes to what kind of a person she is."
"I beg your pardon!"
Gary stepped closer to his Aunt and looked her right in the eye. "My MOTHER told me on MORE than one occasion that I was a mistake. She even went so far as to say that I was the biggest mistake she had ever made in her entire life."
"I'm sure she was just angry, Maureen would never.."
"WHAT?" Gary took a step back and surveyed his Aunt's face. She looked puzzled and upset all at the same time. As though the thought of her sister being so vile genuinely hurt her. "Look. You need to know the truth about her. Plain and simple. She may be my biological mother but she was never a mother to me," Gary's pain immediately began to bubble to the surface once again. "I have been mentally and physically abused since I was born. Between her and my Dad, it's amazing that I'm still alive at all."
His Aunt put her hand over her mouth. Although she had never been terribly close to her sister, she didn't want to believe she was capable of the things Gary was accusing her of. She remembered back to their childhood and was briefly reminded of what an angry child her sister was. But she had assumed that it was something she grew out of. She always sounded so pleasant on the phone and acted so pleasant the few times that had seen each other since after college.
"They HATE ME!" Gary screamed. The pain on his face became more evident as the tears slowly started to fall. He couldn't believe that after all the crying he had just done, that there were more tears just waiting to be shed. "They hate me," he whispered as he covered his face.
Before he could turn away, his Aunt had wrapped her arms around him. "Ssssshhhhh," she said softly. "It's alright. You're here now. Come sit down." She grabbed one of his wrists and lead him over to the couch.
When they sat down, she handed him a tissue from the end table and rubbed his back.
"Gary, I want you to tell me the truth. Did either of them seriously physically abuse you? I don't mean to question you like this but I just never thought of my sister as...that type of person."
"I've been abused by them, in one form or another, my entire life. And now I'm falling apart."
She continued to slowly rub his back. "Gary, is that why you're here? To get away from them?"
Gary chuckled through his tears. "Do you want to know the real reason why I'm here?"
"I do."
"Everyone else has rejected me - why not?"
"I'm not going to reject you."
"You don't know what I'm going to tell you."
"I can't imagine that there would be anything so terrible that I would reject you."
He turned and looked her in the eye. He took a deep breath and did his best to stop the tears for a moment. "I'm gay."
Her hand stopped rubbing his back and her mouth fell open slightly as she took a slow breath in. Although she didn't share her husbands' strict views against homosexuality, she never thought that she would be faced with this situation.
Her initial reaction reminded him of what he had set out to do when he had walked through the door. He was sure that he was about to face the rejection of his Aunt and didn't want to give her the chance. He was going to take care of things once and for all. "I should go." Gary said plainly as he started to stand.
"No," she said, pulling him back down and slowly starting to rub his back again. The look of shock was still evident on her face.
They were silent for a moment and then his Aunt asked, "Are you sure?"
"That I'm gay?," he paused, but only for a brief moment, "Ya know what? I think I am."
"What do you mean 'you think'?"
"That's why I'm here. Mom told me that if I couldn't straighten myself out, literally, that I would not be welcome back home. She also said that she would tell my father. And if he ever saw me, after learning I was gay, he would probably beat me to within inches of my life."
"Then it's all settled. You'll stay here." She said it without hesitation and her shocked expression was replaced with her usual confidence. She would worry about what she would say to her husband later. But she was NOT going to send Gary back to live with those awful people. And she would call her sister personally in the morning.
"What? I..I can't stay here."
"Why not?"
"Because, I...," and then he thought about it. What reason did he have to go back home? Maybe Ohio was just what he needed. A chance to start over. "I don't know. I guess I really don't have anything to go home to, do I?"
"Do you have a...boyfriend...back home?"
"No. Not really. I pretty much messed up my entire life back there. I doubt I even have any friends left."
"Well. You can stay here as long as you'd like."
"But what about Uncle Frank?"
"What about Uncle Frank?"
"He doesn't exactly have the highest opinion of the gay community?"
"He just needs to be re-educated. As do I," she paused and looked at him with a smile. "Although I didn't like the way it was approached, you made some very valid points at the dinner table the other night. Points that your Uncle and I have already talked about on our own. And we honestly feel it's something that we should bring to the pastor."
"But that still doesn't mean he's going to be accepting. And I'm sure that talking to the pastor will only make things worse."
"Well, I can guarantee you this. As long as you're family, you're welcome here. Nothing else matters. We'll work through all of this."
"You're not going to suggest some Exodus Ministries De-Gayification program, are you?"
"Of course not!" she gasped! "Don't you worry about a thing."
Gary looked at her for a moment and was amazed at just how sweet his Aunt truly was. She always looked for the good in everyone.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" Gary asked softly.
"Because you're my nephew and I love you."
"I love you, too," Gary said as he leaned over and hugged his Aunt. She could feel herself getting misty-eyed as she squeezed him tightly. They held each other for a moment before letting go.
"Now, let's get some shut-eye. It's been a long day," she said.
"Sounds good to me."
They both went upstairs and headed to their respective rooms. Gary took off his shirt and pants and crawled into bed. He couldn't believe that he had been so sure of his next course of action and that, in just a few minutes, it had changed. He couldn't believe how close he had come to ending his life. Before his conversation with his Aunt, he was seriously ready to do it. And would have - without hesitation.
"Thank you, God. Thank you for bringing me here." Gary whispered before rolling over and falling asleep. Before long, he was settled into the most deep and restful sleep he had experienced in years.
Derek and I had finished our movie and were getting ready for bed.
"So, uh," Derek said somewhat nervously, "do you want me to set you up in the guestroom."
"Uhm, yeah. I guess."
"C'mon."
Derek helped me up and we walked down the hall. He turned into the guestroom and flipped on the light.
"The bed is all made. Fresh linens and everything. Do you need anything?"
"Uhm, actually," I said, "I have a really hard time getting my shorts off over my cast."
"Oh!" Derek replied, now embarrassed.
I was totally lying. I had actually gotten rather good at it. But I could sense that Derek might want a little bit more than just a good night kiss and so did I.
Derek walked over to me, looking me in the eye the entire time. I could see the pulse in his jugular vein. His heart was pounding. He swallowed hard as he approached and then slowly reached down to unbutton my shorts. His breathing grew heavier as he grabbed ahold of the zipper and pulled down lightly. He was taking his time.
The shorts were so baggy that after he let go of the zipper, they fell to the floor. I leaned my shoulder on the wall and lifted the opposite leg slightly. It was just enough so that the shorts were now only resting on my foot, which was just off the ground.
"Can you pull that off for me?" I grinned slightly at the double meaning of what I had just said.
Derek swallowed hard again and knelt down on the floor in front of me. But his eyes didn't look down towards the floor. Instead, he focused on the tented boxers in front of him. And rather than reach down and pull the shorts off my foot, he reached up and undid the single button on the fly of my boxers. The fabric of the boxers parted as my cock pushed through.
Derek brought his right hand over and lightly rubbed the underside of my dick with the backside of his hand. I moaned softly. His touch sent electricity throughout my entire body. There was an intent behind his touch. An energy that I did not expect.
He continued to explore me with his hands for several minutes. He stroked me slowly and looked up at me to see my reaction. I just rolled my head back and moaned. I then brought my eyes back to his just in time to see his tongue extend past his lips. He leaned in and licked the head of my dick so lightly that I almost couldn't feel it.
His hand pushed the underside of my cock so that it was now angled up slightly. Apparently, he was no longer interested in being bashful. He laid his tongue along the base and licked along the underside until he reached the head and then he plunged it to the back of his throat in one quick dive.
"Oh my god, Derek. That feels so good."
Derek was breathing very heavy and moaning like crazy. He just held my cock in his throat for a minute before he slowly pulled me all the way out of his mouth. He kissed the tip and then helped me take my shorts and boxers off. I pulled my own shirt over my head and he helped me over to the bed.
I sat up slightly in the bed and watched Derek strip.
He undid his belt quickly and pulled it off. Then, when he noticed I was watching, he decided to play it up a little bit. He got the cutest look in his eye and the coyest smile. He looked me right in the eye as he started to slowly unbutton his shirt. I had seen Derek shirtless before but had never noticed just how beautiful he was. And he really was. He had a small birthmark, about the size of a quarter, on his right side. He was a little self conscious about it but I thought it was sexy.
His chest wasn't broad or overly defined but he had the most suckable nipples I had ever seen on a man. They were perfect.
After the shirt dropped to the floor, he started to rub his hands across his abdomen and all over his chest. He was moaning slightly and his hands started to slide down his abdomen, over the waist and down to his crouch. He grabbed his package and started to squeeze with one hand while the other worked at the button on his jeans. When he had undone the button, he went for the zipper. He unzipped his pants with the same care and pace that he had done with mine.
He opened each side slowly to reveal a pair of Tommy Hilfiger undies. He then turned around so that I could admire his gorgeous ass. His hands came around and along the back of the waistband of his jeans as he pulled them over his Tommy boxer-briefs. He stepped out of the pants but didn't turn around.
The process was repeated with his boxers and this time, when he bent over to take them off, I had the most beautiful view of his ass. He then stood up, looked over his right shoulder and smiled at me.
"Want me to turn around?"
"Derek, you are so beautiful."
He turned around slowly and revealed his dick to me for the first time. I couldn't tell exactly how big he was but, let's just say, I knew I would be satisfied.
"Come here," I said to him with a smile.
He walked over to the bed, climbed in with me and covered up. I slid myself down a little so that I was a more even with him and then turned to look at his soft, gentle face.
"Derek, I never thought that this would ever happen."
"Me neither."
"But I honestly don't think that anyone else in this entire world could make me as happy as I am right now. And I'm not talking just about the physical aspect of this. You have touched more than just my body. It sounds corny, but you have truly touched my soul."
Derek leaned in to kiss me and just before our lips touched, he whispered, "I love you so much."
When he started to kiss me, I could feel his entire being connect with mine. It was amazing how connected we were. We always had a special connection. We could tell when the other one was sad or in trouble even when we weren't physically together. We could feel each other's joy. And now that bond was being felt in one of the most powerful kisses of my entire life.
I lost myself in his kiss until I felt a hand wandering down my stomach and wrapping itself around my hard dick. I reached over to him and started stroking him as well. His cock was so warm in my hand and I could feel it pulsing.
After a few minutes, I pulled away from our kiss and whispered to him, "I want you in my mouth so badly."
He smiled at me and helped me slide down further on the bed. He propped up my leg for me so that I could lay on my side and then brought his head to my cock and his cock to my face.
I was practically drooling at the sight of it. As it slid past my lips and into my mouth I could feel the same pulse I had felt in my hand. My mouth was extremely moist and I was slowly pumping his cock in and out of my mouth without any suction at all. Derek was doing the exact same thing to me. We were genuinely enjoying having each others dicks in our mouths. It was more than just a blowjob. This was two men, worshipping each others bodies.
It felt so good to have his dick in my mouth. I didn't want it to end. We sucked and licked each other so slowly for so long. I completely lost track of time and just focused on every sensation that my body was receiving. The feel of his throbbing cock - the feel of his warm, wet mouth sucking and licking me - the feel of his breath on my balls when he had me buried deep in his throat - his soft hands gently stroking me in rhythm with his mouth - the feel of his hair against my leg - the intense feeling when our bodies touched. It was amazing.
Despite our slow pace, I could feel myself starting to get close to cumming. Neither one of us had increased our speed. We were still enjoying the experience so much that we didn't want it to end. But it was inevitable. I wasn't sure how close Derek was until he suddenly started to breathe faster. But again, the rhythm of his cock-sucking remained the same. His attention to every inch of my dick was so intense.
My breath began to increase as well. I could feel the orgasm begin to wash over me even before I started to actually cum. Just as the first shot came out of Derek's beautiful dick, I started to shoot as well. Our breathing was incredibly intense and the low whimpers that we were both letting out only intensified the orgasm even more.
After both of us had finished, Derek came up to lay beside me.
"That was the best sex I have ever had in my life. I felt like I was a part of you," he said.
"Me too."
"Why did we wait so long to do this?"
"It just took us a long time to realize how we truly felt for each other. At least this damned cast was good for something," I laughed.
"That was probably one of the scariest moments of my life. Hearing about your accident. It ripped my heart out of my chest."
"Out of something tragic comes something wonderful," I said with a smile.
"I'm just sorry it took something like this for us to acknowledge how deep our love is for each other."
"I'm just glad we finally did," I said as I stroked the side of his face gently.
"Me too."