READERS: As always, thank you for your emails. I continue to receive an incredible amount of emails from people requesting to be on the email update list. If you would like to be on the list, please email me at ehlrich@comcast.net and put EMAIL LIST in the subject. If at any time you wish to be removed, please put UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject.
PLEASE NOTE the change in email address. Although I will continue to check the hotmail address listed in previous chapters, please switch to the Comcast address if you contact me on a regular basis.
As always, your comments are welcome, appreciated and often inspiring. ehlrich@comcast.net
==============================================
Mike backed slowly away from the door but found himself unable to move much farther. He had finally gotten up the guts to go see Gary only to have the door literally slammed in his face. He wasn't even 100% sure what he was doing there but he had been unable to get Gary out of his head since they met in the woods.
When Mike turned around, he nearly walked into Gary's father, Ron.
"Michael!" Ron, whom was normally quite stone-faced, lit up like a Christmas tree when he saw his son's old friend. "How long has it been?"
Mike was extremely confused. One parent was ready to kill him and the other seemed almost like he wanted to reach out and hug him.
"It's been quite a few years," Mike said with confusion.
"Too long if you ask me. You and Gary were always such good friends. Up until the end of high school, right?"
"Yeah," Mike was still feeling very awkward about the whole situation.
"What ever happened with you guys? Fightin' over a girl?" Ron nudged Mike's arm and gave him a wink.
"Something like that." Mike couldn't help but smile at the irony. If only he knew what they really fought over. Mike was also shocked at the appearance of Gary's father. He had remembered Ron as being your typical rough and tough Italian. He was always shorter in stature but made up for it with his boisterous personality and solid body. But his once chiseled physique was now covered with a little bit of extra weight. He had even started to go bald. The past few years had not been kind to him.
"Well, as I'm sure Maureen told you, Gary's not here."
"Yeah, that's about all she said to me."
"Really? I wonder what's up her ass. Thanks for the heads up, kiddo," and again, he winked and nudged Mikes arm.
"So, where is Gary, anyway?" Mike, feeling more comfortable, decided it was time to get some answers.
"Oh he's off in Ohio. Mo didn't tell you?"
"No. She was rather short with me."
"Oh, that's nonsense! Come on in and have a drink."
"Oh, no, I can't. I..."
"I insist!" Gary's Dad grabbed Mike by the arm and pulled him back into the house.
"MAUREEN," he yelled as they got in the door.
"WHAT?" She responded from the kitchen.
Mike could hear her footsteps getting closer and was dreading another encounter with her.
"Now why on Earth was this boy standing outside?"
Gary's mother glared at Mike with a look that could have killed him had it been capable of doing so. She feigned a smile and said quite simply, "I was just in a bad mood, that's all. Nothing a drink won't cure."
Mike found his confusion getting worse.
"I'll be right back, son," Gary's Dad said as he headed upstairs. "Just need to get out of this monkey suit."
Mike looked over at Maureen to find that she hadn't shifted her gaze from him at all. His eyes widened in fear and when he turned to look back up the stairs, Mr. Martello had disappeared. When he turned back, Mrs. Martello was inches from his face.
"Now you listen to me, you little bastard. And you listen good. I promised Gary that I wouldn't say anything to his father as long as he went to Ohio and came back straight."
"I don't..." Mike said, trying to play stupid.
"Oh don't bother trying to cover it up. I know all about the two of you and frankly it makes me sick. To think that I allowed you in my house," she said through gritted teeth. "To think that I allowed you to sleep in the same room as my son and corrupt him."
"Mrs. Martello, I...."
"Do NOT speak to me. You shut the fuck up and listen. You are NOT welcome here. Your KIND is not welcome here. And if my son doesn't return to normal, he won't be welcome here either."
Mike was not about to be intimidated by Gary's Mom. He never liked her to begin with. She was always abusive to Gary - both physically and verbally. Gary had told him about all the brutal beatings he had to endure as a child. After that day, he had nothing but contempt and disdain for her. He took one look at her, moved another inch or two closer and said to her with quiet fury, "Trust me, with an ignorant attitude like that, I wouldn't stay here for another second if somebody paid me."
Maureen resisted the temptation to slap him across the face. She knew it would only get her in more trouble and probably force her into a situation that would involve her husband. That was something she was willing to avoid at all costs. Even if it meant taking shit from someone her son's age.
"I'll come up with some lame-ass excuse as to why you had to leave but you'd better do it before I plow your ass into the wall."
"Threats! Wow! You really have turned into a no good piece of white trash."
"I'm warning you, you little asshole. One more comment and you will be on the ground."
"You're not worth another comment. You're not even worth the breath it has taken me to talk to you THIS long," Mike turned, headed for the door and slammed it on the way out.
Gary's father came running down the stairs and looked at his wife. "What the fuck did you do now?"
"And why would you assume I did something?"
"He slammed the door! And he was about to stay for a drink!"
"Ron. He had an appointment and he had to go to. You were probably talking so damned much that the kid didn't have a chance to get a word in edgewise." It was lame, she thought to herself, but he wouldn't know that she was making it up. "As for him slamming the door, I can't imagine it was intentional." Lying to her husband about this turned her stomach. All she wanted to do at this point was tell him the truth and get Gary out of the house for good. But, a promise was a promise. If Gary could straighten out, she might be able to put this whole mess behind her.
"So, where are YOU going so early in the morning?" Marcus asked his cousin. Gary had been suffering from a bit of insomnia and finally decided he would just get up and go for a walk.
"Thought I'd go back out to the clearing to do a little thinking."
"Mind if I tag? Dad's too tired this morning to go running."
"Marc, I don't know, I...."
"I promise I won't try anything. You have my word. Just you, me and a chance to talk things out."
Gary smiled. He was amazed at how dynamic his Marcus' personality had turned out to be. Not only did he act his own age, but he also had the capacity to act as though he were one of Gary's peers (if not older).
"Alright then," Gary replied, "let's get goin'."
Gary had just finished tying his shoes and stood up from the couch in the living room. They walked towards the door and closed it gently behind them to not disturb anyone else in the house that may still be sleeping.
"So, you and your Dad go running every morning," Gary inquired.
"Not every morning. But probably about 5 days a week. He gets up early and runs with me before he has to go to work and I have to go to school. Although lately, he's been too busy with church stuff. He's always tired."
"So what are you doing up so early? Aren't you on your summer vacation?"
"Well, yeah, but I'm not one to sleep in late. I'm used to getting up this early. I can't get my day started without a morning run. And, I must admit, it's not the same without Dad. We usually take a break in the park on the way back and chat."
"That's so cool. I can't imagine being able to talk to my Dad."
"You can't? Have you tried?"
"I try to avoid doing anything with my parents."
"Why is that?"
"Well, neither one of them really wants anything to do with me."
"That sucks. What's their deal?"
"I wasn't exactly planned."
"Ohhhhh. So they didn't want to have kids?"
"Nope. Mom went and got her tubes tied as soon as she could after I was born. They treated me like shit while I was growing up and not much has changed over the years. Now my Mom just has more of a reason to hate me."
"But you're old enough. Why do you put up with it?"
"Well, first of all, I still live with them. I'm not employed right now and I have NO income. I rely on them. Second, my Mom still has the ability to make me feel like I'm 10 years old again. Although I can fight back sometimes, she has a power over me that I can't explain to anyone."
"That's heavy shit!"
"Tell me about it."
"So you said that your Mom was threatening to tell your Dad?"
"Yeah," Gary scoffed.
"What would he do?"
"Let's just say that I'd probably end up in the hospital and he'd end up in prison."
"Christ, Gary. Why are you doing this to yourself?"
"What do you mean 'to myself'?"
"It sounds to me like you've made a lot of bad choices over the past few months."
"Yeah, no shit."
"Seriously, when was the last time you had a job?"
"I was in a band."
"Oh, Jesus," Marcus laughed. "No, I meant a REAL job."
"Listen, the band was doing really well for awhile." Gary wanted to deck his cousin for insulting his music.
"But it's not reliable income Gary. It's really cool and I'm really jealous but I also know that I would never make that my primary source of income."
"Listen to you. Talking like you have bills and shit."
"Kids these days are more savvy about all of this stuff than adults would like to give us credit for. I already have investments in the stock market, ya know?"
"WHAT? Are you kidding me?"
"Nope," Marcus chuckled. "I'm dead serious. It's not a lot of money but I've been making some decent returns. I'm saving for college. Mom and Dad will qualify for some aid and hopefully I'll get some scholarships but the rest of it will be on me."
"You are one smart kid."
"Thanks, dude," Marc smiled and looked over at his cousin as they continued their walk. He sighed to himself at the sight of Gary's handsome face. He could feel himself getting lost in his cousin once again. He found that he had to force himself to look away and focus on the path ahead. "But enough about me. Let's get back to your life."
"Great," Gary replied sarcastically.
"What kinds of skills do you have?"
"I'm really good with computers."
"Formal training?"
"All self taught but I'm great with networking, most graphic design packages and can pick up new programs at the drop of a hat. I've just always been good with technology and software."
"That's a HUGE asset. Granted, you'll have to prove yourself to a company before they're going to take your word for it but you have some serious opportunity. You could definitely make enough money to move out on your own."
"I guess so."
"See that! You've got to stop being so wishy-washy about stuff. Just do it. Do what makes you happy. Do what's going to keep you sane. Do what you have to do to survive."
"I just don't know what that is right now."
"I think you do."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't think it's that you don't know what to do. I think it's that you know what to do and are petrified of the consequences."
"I don't know about that."
"Stop and analyze this for a second. You've already stopped to figure out what would happen if you lived the life of a gay male. You know that you're family will disown you. So, obviously you're giving it some thought. But, what you're not doing is looking at the potential positives that could come out of this."
"Like...?"
"Like being with someone that you love. Jesus, Gary your own parents don't even love you. Do you even know what real love is supposed to feel like?"
"How the hell do you know what it's supposed to feel like?" Gary didn't like talking about his emotions and felt himself becoming defensive.
"Because. It starts from within," Marcus reached over, grabbed his cousins wrist and stopped him from walking any farther. He turned to him and locked eyes with him. "You have GOT to love yourself before you can ever expect anyone else to. And without that self love you will never really understand and appreciate the love that someone else can give you."
"What makes you such an expert? You're 17." He tried to shake Marcus' hold of his wrist but it only became tighter.
"I know that not all love is alike but what I do know is that unconditional love is one of the most amazing feelings in the world. I feel it from my parents. They love me more than you could ever imagine. They truly love me as though I was their own biological child," he paused for a second and felt himself almost wanting to cry. "Do you know what that's like? To go through most of your life being rejected by the system? I was forced to love myself because I was convinced that no one else ever would. And then, imagine suddenly having someone come along that loves you for who you are and for everything you've been through. I wouldn't have been able to appreciate and understand their love if I had lived the earlier years of my life hating myself. So I may not know romantic love, but I know what self love and unconditional love feel like," Marcus released Gary's wrist and started to walk again. He did his best to shake the emotions that had just swelled over him.
Gary was frozen in his tracks. His eyes were welling up with tears. This 17 year old boy had just made more sense to him than anyone else in his life. Gary began to truly understand just how much his cousin must have gone through and how remarkably strong he was despite it all.
"Well?" Marcus turned around to Gary. "You comin' or are you just gonna stand there with your mouth hangin' open like a codfish?"
Gary snapped out of his daze and caught up to Marcus.
"So," Marcus said after clearing his throat, "tell me about Andrew."
Gary sighed and a smile crossed his face.
"Well, Mike is probably one of the best..."
Marcus quickly interrupted him, "Mike?"
"I thought you wanted me to talk about Andrew."
"I DID. But you just said Mike." Marcus was smiling and chuckling now. "Very interesting."
"I did not," Gary said with a laugh.
"Yes....you most certainly did!"
"Well, if I did, I didn't mean to."
"Freudian slip?"
"If you say so."
"I still think that's very interesting."
"Why, because I had a brain fart and said the wrong name?"
"I'm more interested in whose name you said. Not the fact that you slipped." Marcus was smiling almost devilishly as the gears in his head turned. Gary was smiling and laughing back.
"Dude, this is ridiculous. You are SO overanalyzing this!"
"Ya think so? Let's look at this for a second."
"Oh my God. I can't believe you're doing this." Gary chuckled.
"Humor me."
"Whatever."
"A slip is perfectly understandable. We all do it. And you could have said anybody's name in there. Hell, you could have said my name!"
"Don't flatter yourself," Gary interjected with a little punch to Marcus' arm.
"Seriously!" he said, stifling a laugh. "You could have said anything and you said 'Mike'. I find that very ironic."
They walked in silence for a moment and Gary allowed himself to consider that Marcus just MIGHT have a point.
"How often do you talk about him?" Marcus asked.
"Mike or Andrew?"
"Hmmmm. Mike's name first! Once again....very interesting!"
"Dude, seriously, I'm gonna pound ya'." They both chuckled a little bit and then Gary continued. "I don't talk about Mike very often but after our recent encounter and everything that's been going on, his name has come up a little more than usual. But I talk about Drew practically non-stop."
They reached the clearing that they had visited the day before and the memories of the incredible sex flooded Gary's mind.
"Well, Gare. I think you've still got something for Mike."
"WHAT? Don't be ridiculous!"
Marcus took on a silly tone and mocked Sandra Bullock's signature line in 'Miss Congeniality', "You think he's gorgeous. You want to date him. You want to marry him."
"That's it!"
Gary lunged at his cousin and they fell instantly to the ground. They rolled around with each one trying to pin the other one. Marcus nearly pinned Gary before Gary finally rolled him onto his back and held him firmly to the ground. They were both still laughing and were slightly winded. Marcus looked deep into Gary's eyes and his chuckles softened and slowly subsided.
"You really are so incredibly handsome," Marcus said softly. He was developing quite the crush on his older cousin.
"Marcus, don't." Gary still had him pinned to the ground. He was sitting right on Marcus' crotch and his hands wrapped around Marcus' wrists, pushing them into the ground.
"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to start anything. I'm just saying that I could see how someone could easily fall in love with you."
"Ha!" Gary replied as he rolled off his cousin. "I wish I could put a warning label on my chest." Gary adopted a radio announcer voice, "CAUTION! May be hazardous to your heart!"
Marcus sat up and, yet again, found himself getting lost in Gary's eyes.
"Will you please stop being so hard on yourself? You're going through a really rough time. You aren't doing this deliberately!"
"That doesn't make it any more right." Gary replied quietly.
"I guess," Marcus hesitated for a moment, "but this is a process you have to go through. I can only imagine how difficult this is for you," Marcus reached over and rested his hand on Gary's. "Just don't ignore the fact that, although you are causing pain to other people, you're in pain yourself. It's good that you're thinking of everyone else but don't forget about yourself in the process."
"Ya know somethin'," Gary said with a sigh, "I'm glad that I came here."
Marcus leaned over and wrapped his arms tightly around his cousin. Gary returned the tight embrace.
"Me too, G," Marcus whispered softly into his ear. "Me too."
I had awoken this morning with an excitement that I hadn't felt in quite some time. I am normally not a morning person (to say the least) but found myself awake and ready to tackle the day by 7am.
The only problem was - I had nothing to do. I was incredibly bored and very antsy. All I wanted was to hear Derek's voice. I couldn't believe how excited I was! Finally, at 8:30, I got my wish. My cell phone vibrated in my pocket and I quickly pulled it out.
"Hello?"
"Good morning, sunshine." Derek's sweet voice sounded even more cheerful than usual.
"Hi," I said somewhat coyly. I felt like a schoolgirl flirting with a boy for the first time.
"Whatcha doin'?"
"Oh - nothing. Just hanging out."
"I was afraid I was going to wake you up when I called."
"Are you kidding me? I've been up since 7."
"You?" he chuckled.
"Yes! Silly. I was looking forward to seeing you and couldn't really sleep last night."
"Awww. How sweet of you to say!"
There was a knock at the front door.
"Ugh! Derek, can you hang on for just a second? Someone's at the door."
"Sure thing."
I set the phone down on the coffee table. Mom and Dad had already left for work so I had to pull myself up off the couch and hobble to the door.
"I'll be there in just a second," I yelled as loud as I could. "God dammit," I mumbled, "who on Earth would be at our door at this hour?"
I made my way over to the door and swung it open.
"Surprise," Derek said with a smile.
"Oh my God!" I laughed and smiled back at Derek. The smile on my face must have been the dorkiest smile ever because I felt myself bubbling over with joy at the sight of his face.
"I hope it's okay that I stopped in."
"OKAY? Of course it's okay!"
Derek leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. "It's so good to see you."
"You too! Come in, come in."
Derek helped me back to the couch. Once we were settled, we smiled at each other and I felt an awkwardness between the two of us that had never really existed before. It was as if we both had a million things to say to each other but didn't know where to begin. Derek was the first to break the silence.
"I made sure that I slept on the flight so that I could come and see you once I got everything back to the cabin."
"The cabin? You're staying there now?"
"Yeah, didn't I tell you? I'm buying the cabin from Dad."
"WHAT?"
"He gave me a bonus for signing this account and used it as a down-payment on the cabin."
"Holy shit! That's so cool!"
"Tell me about it! I'm gonna start moving over all of my stuff tomorrow."
"That is so awesome!"
"I'm pretty psyched about it."
"You should be."
Silence fell between the two of us once again.
"Derek, I ... I've really missed you these past few days."
"I've missed you too, Andrew."
Something about the way that Derek said my full name sent chills down my spine. I couldn't help but stare blankly at him. It was as though I was seeing him for the first time. I studied every inch of his face. His beautiful brown eyes - his wavey hair - his sweet lips.
"I just don't want to rush anything," Derek said, interrupting my momentary daydream.
"Me neither. We have all the time in the world to explore this."
"Andrew," Derek said grabbing my hand, "I love you so much. And no matter what happens, I don't ever want to lose my best friend."
"And you never will."
Life as I knew it was changing.
"I just don't understand why he did this to me." Karen was sobbing. Her therapist had broken through her shell and Karen could no longer stop the emotions from overtaking her.
"Karen. You are allowed to be angry and upset right now. And, frankly, there's nothing really to understand. What he did was wrong. He cheated on you. Regardless of the reason, he cheated." He paused for a moment, took a deep breath and looked Karen right in the eyes. "He violated your relationship."
"Then why do I still love him?" Karen brought a tissue up to her eyes and tried desperately to stop the tears.
"You obviously had very strong feelings for him. Unfortunately, he was not capable of truly returning those feelings."
"But he said he loved me!"
"And I'm sure he did, Karen. But he was not capable of returning the same level of love that you were giving him. And that's not fair to you!"
"How the hell am I ever going to get over him?"
"You will. Trust me. But it will take time. This isn't going to happen overnight."
"So why should I have to suffer? Tell me how that's fair!" Karen was becoming increasingly angry and was now directing it at her therapist. "Why should I have to put up with all of this pain because HE can't be faithful? Because he can't decide if he wants dick or pussy! Explain THAT to me!"
"It's not fair. And you shouldn't have to put up with it. But, unfortunately, that's not the way the human heart works. We can't just let go because someone made a decision that had a negative impact on us. We have to absorb that negative impact and learn from it."
"And what, exactly, am I supposed to learn? Not to date bisexual men? It's not like I KNEW!"
"No, Karen. What you're supposed to learn from this is your own value."
"What kind of psychobabble bullshit is that?"
Dr. Ilyani was used to people lashing out at him but had to restrain himself from laughing at Karen's question. He always swore to himself that he would try to avoid, as Karen phrased it, psychobabble bullshit. But, he quickly learned that the traditional psychobabble was around for a reason - it was right.
"I know that it may sound like bullshit to you right now, but it's not. You have to come out of this feeling stronger about yourself. Feeling like you deserve to be treated better than this. And when you get to that point, it will help you to see these things earlier. To really become a better judge of character. To not compromise what you want in a man." He sighed again, sat forward in his chair and looked her in the eyes. "You told me yourself that there were other things about Gary that you didn't like. Things that surfaced long before this."
"But they weren't all that bad."
"Don't settle, Karen. That's the bottom line. You didn't feel like he had any serious goals in life. And you told me that something like that is important to you. Why are you suddenly backing down?"
"I don't know."
"I do. It's because you don't value yourself enough. You don't feel like you deserve to be treated properly."
Karen sighed. In her heart she knew that Dr. Ilyani was right. Her self esteem wasn't what it should be. And this incident with Gary hadn't helped it any either.
"Our session is almost over. Is there anything else that you wanted to cover before we wrap things up?"
"There is one other thing," Karen replied.
"Oh?"
"Yeah. There's this guy," Karen smirked a little. "I can't even believe I'm considering this but he asked me out."
"And?"
"And I told him no."
"Why?"
"Well, I'm not 100% sure I'm ready but I did tell him that I would call him and maybe we could do it another time. Do you think it's too soon?"
"Are you planning on rushing out and marrying the guy?"
"Oddly enough, that's what my receptionist asked me too. And, no, I don't intend on marrying ANYONE for a LONG time."
"So, if you feel ready, go have coffee with him. I can't tell you when you're going to feel ready. That's up to you. All I'm saying is that a cup of coffee never killed anyone."
"Thanks, doc."
"You gonna be alright?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine."
"Well, you have my pager number. If at any time you start to feel extremely depressed and you feel lost and alone, just page me. If I can't call you back personally, I will notify the doctor on call. We'll get you through this." Dr. Ilyani stood up and walked over to Karen. He extended his hand to Karen to help her up. She smiled and graciously accepted the assistance.
"Thanks again. I know I can be a little abrasive sometimes."
"Trust me. I've seen a lot worse than that. And this is the place to let it out."
Karen nodded and walked over to the door. She took a deep breath, composed herself and walked out into the hallway. As she made her way down the hall, she put her invisible wall up. She was consciously aware of it but was unwilling to let anyone except for Stacey see what she was going through. "I'm a strong woman," she thought to herself, "and that's how the world needs to see me."
Mike's curiousity as to Gary's whereabouts was quickly getting the best of him. Mrs. Martello had said (probably accidentally) that he was in Ohio. Mike thought that Gary had said something about having relatives in Ohio but he couldn't remember for sure. He decided he was going to chance another confrontation and contact Gary's father. He knew that he would be home from work at about 6pm and figured he would try calling him. He could always block his number and if Mrs. M answered, he could just hang up.
He waited until 6:15 and then picked up the phone. He was shaking as he dialed. He brought the phone slowly to his ear and heard it ringing.
"Hello." Mr. Martello said.
"Mr. M! I'm so glad you picked up! Is Mrs. Martello around?"
"Who is this?"
"It's Mike."
"OH! Hi Mikey! No, she's not here. Did you want me to leave a message for her?"
"Oh, no. I called to talk to you."
"What's up? Oh - Did you make it to your appointment okay yesterday?"
"Appointment?"
"Yeah, Mo said that you had an appointment and that you had to rush off or you were going to be late."
"Oh. Uh. Yeah. I made it just fine."
"Well that's good. So, what's up?"
"I just wanted to ask you about Gary."
"What about?"
"Well, Mrs. M said he was out in Ohio."
"That's right. He's out there visiting his aunt and uncle."
"Do you know when he might be coming back?"
"Actually, no. He hasn't booked a return flight. He could be out there for another week or a few months. I really don't know."
"Oh." Mike paused. What the hell was he going to do now? "Well, do you have a number that I could reach him at?"
"Oh, yeah. Sure. Hang on one second," Ron put the phone between his ear and his shoulder and reached down for the list of relatives numbers that his wife had compiled. "It's - uh - 234-555-8585."
"Great! Thank you so much!"
"So, when are you coming over for that drink?"
"Oh. I don't know. My schedule is kinda crazy."
"Well, I'll talk to Mo and we'll try to come up with a night that we can have you over for dinner."
"NO!" Mike reacted instantly. The last thing he wanted was to deal with her. And, for whatever reason, she had obviously lied to Ron about why Mike had left yesterday. "I mean - uh - I don't want you to go to all that trouble. Why don't you and I just meet at Rigby's some night next week?"
"Everything alright, son? Did she say something stupid?"
"Who?" Mike replied - playing stupid.
"My freakshow of a wife. Sometimes that woman has the biggest mouth in the world and she just loves to shove her foot right in it."
"No. She didn't say anything wrong. I just don't think she really likes me, that's all. And I'd rather she didn't know anything about us getting together for a drink. I think it would cause more trouble than it's worth."
"Hmm. Can't imagine why she wouldn't like ya'. But if she gave you a hard time, we'll keep this between the two of us. Sometimes it's better just to leave her out of things. She always screws things up anyway."
"Alright, Mr. M.," Mike said with a chuckle. "I'll give you a call sometime next week."
"Yeah, call me at the office. Do you have that number?"
"Not handy but I can look it up. You still at Hansen's?"
"Oh yeah. Probably will be until the day I die. Even when I have the money to retire I won't want to. I love my job."
"Well that's always a good thing."
"Sure is. Besides, if I retired then I would have to put up with my wife 24-7."
Again, Mike laughed. "I'll talk to you next week."
"Lookin' forward to it."
"Buh-bye."
"Goodbye."
Mike didn't know exactly what he was going to say to Gary but he found himself dialing the number the instant that he had hung up with Gary's Dad. Again, he raised the phone slowly to his ear and heard the ominous sound of the phone ringing.
"Hello."
"Hi. Is - uh - Gary there?"
"I'm sorry. He actually went out with my Aunt for dinner. Who's calling?" Marcus had been the one to answer the phone and he didn't recognize the voice on the other end. It certainly wasn't his Uncle Ronny calling to speak to his son. That voice he would recognize.
"Oh. I can just try calling him back. It's not important."
"You sure? I can give him a message. It's not a problem." Marcus was curious about who was on the other end. He suspected it was Andrew.
"Uhm. Just tell him that Mike called."
"MIKE!?!" Marcus gasped.
"Yeah. Mike." Mike paused for a moment. It sounded as if the person on the other end knew him. But that couldn't be. He had never met any of Gary's relatives in Ohio. "Who is this?"
"This is his cousin Marcus."
"Do I know you?"
"No."
"Oh," Mike replied. He wasn't going to inquire any further about Marcus' odd response. "Well, if you could just let him know I called, that would be great."
"I certainly will. He should be home in a little while."
"Great. Thanks."
Mike hung up the phone feeling like he had stepped into the Twilight Zone. Nothing had been normal since the day he had seen Gary in the woods. For whatever reason, he was unable to shake him. Now all he wanted was to talk to him. He didn't want to apologize for his reaction that day. He felt justified in how he had responded to Gary. But maybe now that he had gotten some of that out of his system, he would be ready to actually talk to him. Maybe that's what this was all about. Or maybe it was more?
Mike quickly dismissed the thought. He couldn't put himself through another round with Gary. He knew that if he were to get involved with him again that the feelings would come rushing back too quickly. He also knew that if Gary were to leave him again that he would have to go through his recovery process all over again. It had been too hard to deal with the first time around, he wouldn't set himself up for a second dose.
Meanwhile, Marcus sat back in the recliner after he hung up with Mike and grinned. 'This is becoming a soap opera', Marcus thought to himself. He couldn't wait for Gary to come home so that he could tell him. Although he was unsure as to what Gary's reaction would be. Would he be happy that Mike might be back in his life or would this be more fuel added to the fire that was already tearing him apart? Maybe he shouldn't tell him. 'No,' he thought, 'I have to tell him. He'd never forgive me if I didn't.'
And so, it was settled. Marcus would tell Gary as soon as he got home and as soon as his mother was out of the room. He didn't want to put Gary in an awkward situation and force him to try to explain who Mike was.
"So, Gary," his Aunt asked between bites of fettuccini alfredo, "what's the real reason that you're here? Your mother was very vague."
Gary nearly choked on his pasta. He picked his napkin up off of his lap and brought it to his mouth - partly as a means of stalling.
"Are you alright, dear?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." Gary lowered his napkin. He was going to try to avoid the...
"Oh good! I mean don't get me wrong. We love having you here but you've never come to visit on your own before. So, what's going on?"
'So much for avoiding the question,' Gary thought to himself. He cleared his throat. "I'm not sure what you mean, Aunt Mare."
"Oh come on. Don't be coy with me, mister. I can read people pretty well you know. And I can tell that there's more to your visit than meets the eye."
"I just had some things going on back home that I needed to get away from. I needed some time to think." Hopefully that answer would be enough to satisfy her.
"Well you know you can talk to me about anything. I'm a hip Aunt!"
Gary chuckled. "I appreciate it."
"Seriously, sweetheart. Whatever it is, you can tell me."
Gary suddenly realized that she wasn't going to drop this. She wanted to know what was going on and he knew that there was no way he could tell her. She would freak!
"Oh dear," she exclaimed, turning pale. She leaned over the table and whispered to Gary, "It's not drugs. Is it?"
"No!"
"Oh," she said, sighing and plunking back into her seat, "thank the dear Lord above for that!"
Gary tried, once again, to avoid any further questioning and continued eating. His Aunt simply stared at him blankly with her fork dangling from her fingers and onto the plate.
"Well," she said. "Are you gonna tell me or not?"
"I'm not sure I want to talk about it."
"Well if you're not comfortable talking to me about it, maybe you should talk to the pastor. Or even the big guy Himself?"
"The big guy?"
"Our Lord Himself, Gary. Jesus can help you through anything."
"Ohhh...I'm not so sure about this one."
"Trust me. He's there for you, sweetheart. Through anything, he'll be there. And he's a great listener. Never tries to overtalk ya'. HA!!!" She laughed loudly at her own joke.
"I'll keep that in mind," Gary said with a smile.
But his Aunt wasn't really ready to let it go. She was determined to find out Gary's real reason for coming. And she knew just who she was going to turn to for answers.