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My new life - Part 1 - Caught
I was sitting on the edge of my bed thinking about the past 6 months and how my life had changed. "I'll be ready to go shortly" I heard my mom call out from her bedroom. "Ok mom" I replied. My mother and I were going out to lunch then shopping before I had to report for work at 7 this evening. So I was sitting and relaxing and reflecting on the past. I was a different person now.
I lot had happened to me and my family in those 6 months.
I was a crossdresser on and off for as long as I could remember. It started when I was very young using my mom and sister's panties and bras. As I got older and got a job I began buying my own lingerie and clothing. Like many others I would dress repeatedly, and then purge my clothing and stop crossdressing, only to come back to crossdressing with even more intensity. As others have said; once a crossdresser always a crossdresser.
I am 20 years old now, in college and a good looking guy in my opinion. I date girls regularly, enjoy their company, enjoy making out with them, but I always come back to crossdressing.
So I decided several years ago to stop the purging and wait to see if the urge to dress would subside. It never did for very long. As a result I had acquired quite a large wardrobe of clothing and toys that I liked using for my pleasure. Living in a house with my mom and dad plus my older sister had become a challenge hiding my stash, but I had become very resourceful and disguised my possessions very well. No one had ever found them or so I thought.
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As I sat here on the bed, I remembered coming home one night after school and seeing all of these boxes stacked by the trash cans at the end of the driveway. The family was moving out of the house in 2 days because an addition was going to be put on, so I new my parents were putting out bits and pieces they no longer used. But the boxes I was looking at were too familiar; they looked like the ones I was using to hide my things. I looked closely and I was almost certain. I did not want to stop and draw attention so I tried to look unconcerned as I pulled into the garage.
I got out of the car and went in the house hoping to look in the boxes later after dark.
My mom said "Hello. Supper will be ready shortly. I am glad to see you." It was her usual greeting. My mom was always very kind and understanding. I can't remember her getting angry too many times and the tone of her voice did not give a reason for concern.
"What's for dinner?" I asked.
"A nice pot roast" was her response; she was a great cook also.
"I see that you having been cleaning?" I said more of a question.
"Yes, I found a number of boxes with things I had not seen before, so I needed to clean up before the remodel"
"Oh" I said and I became very embarrassed and quiet.
We sat and ate our dinner just the two of us. My sister Sarah and my father were away on business, so it was just my mom and I. "You are awfully quiet Daniel, anything wrong?" my mom asked.
"No mom" I stuttered.
"You know Daniel I will always love you no matter who you are!" she commented.
My mom's comment just hit me very hard. It was an unusual comment in one sense, but she was also very caring mother so she would say kind things from time to time. But because I was feeling very guilty, her comment was tearing me apart inside, why did she say that and what is she thinking about me I wondered. Maybe she did look in the boxes I hoped.
"That was an odd comment mom" I said. She looked at me, smiled and then kissed me on the cheek. "Let's clean up the kitchen and then we can sit and talk about our day" she said.
I felt the weight of the world suddenly fell on my shoulders. We can talk about our day, I thought.
"Ok" I stammered.
We finished cleaning up and my mother sat down in the family room. She was in her early forties and quite attractive. She worked as a consultant along with my father and older sister, but today she was home with me.
"Would you like a glass of wine mom?" I asked barely getting it out.
"Thank you Daniel and pour one for yourself as well, then come in here and let's talk".
"Ok mom" I replied and I stalled for what seemed like an eternity to keep from facing my mom.
I entered the family room and I handed her the glass of wine and then I sat down and was very quiet. I did not want to start a conversation, because I was afraid on the topic.
"Is there something I should know Daniel?" she asked.
"Like what mom?" I replied pretending I did not know what the subject was about.
"Don't be afraid to talk to me Daniel, I've known about those boxes for several years, mothers find everything you know" she said with a smile.
"What boxes mom?" I replied and I stood and began pacing the floor.
"The ones that are sitting out by the curb. They had a picture of you dressed as a girl" she replied. If she saw those pictures, then she saw the other ones I had taken of myself. They would not be flattering to a mother.
"Mom I don't know what to say, that was an old habit that I grew out of several years ago, and I am sorry. Mom I am glad that you threw the clothes out, I have wanting to do that for a while and have not had the chance. I feel much better knowing their gone."
"Daniel the picture of you in a bra, panties and a babydoll with that thing in your mouth had last week's date on them so you and I both know these aren't old. Don't worry I am not here to scold you but to help you. I am your mother and I still love you. I am not ashamed of you in any way. By the way, I did not throw out your clothes. I sent your winter dresses, skirts and blouses to the cleaners. The summer ones I hung in your closet. You have a lot of pretty clothes, Sweetie. Maybe you and Sarah might be able to wear each others clothes. She would like some of your things!" All I could do was sit, listen, drink wine and feel sick to my stomach.
"Your panties, bras, nylons and other lingerie I cleaned and put in your dresser. You need to take better care of your clothing especially your lingerie; it is too expensive to just toss it in a box. I'll help you with how to wash your panties and bras later." She said.
I wanted to crawl in a dark hole as I heard talk so casually about my possessions.
"Mom I can explain" I said.
"Shush Daniel, its ok" she comforted me.
"Mom I want to stop this, I don't know why I do it, I will change" I yelled out as I kept pacing wildly.
"Daniel, sit here next to me." she said as she motioned me to the chair next to her. I walked over and sat down. "So you want to stop dressing as a girl, right Daniel?" she said.
"Yes mom" I replied.
"Do you really want to get rid of those cute dresses and sexy panties and bras?" she asked.
I sat and did not reply, I knew that I loved pretending to be a girl and I finally said in a very quiet voice "No mom, I'm sorry and I know that you are ashamed of me but I like dressing as a girl and I like fantasying about girls can do to boys. Please don't hate me mom, but I don't want to get rid of my feminine clothes."
She smiled and said "It will be ok Daniel."
I suddenly felt very relieved like a big weight was taken off me. My mother finally knew about my dark secret and what gave me pleasure and she was not angry with me.
"Mom what am I going to do? I can't keep my dresses hanging in the closet and I drawer full of panties in my room, what if dad or Sarah sees that, they will look at me like a freak."
Mom replied "Your father and Sarah already know, we talked about this for some time, they love you as I do and we will not let anyone or anything hurt you."
"They know?" I said, as I slumped down in my chair, I thought that I would faint for sure. I was going to be the laughing stock of the family.
"It's ok Daniel, it will be ok" my mom said and then smiled.
"Now go upstairs and look in your dresser and in your closet. I think that you will like what you see."
With that comment I slowly went to my room as a prisoner would to jail, how did I let this secret get away I thought to myself. I entered the walk-in closet in my room and there were my summer dresses, skirts and blouses hanging on one side just as my mother had said. My boy clothes were moved to the other side. I was shocked by what was there in the open for anyone in my family to see, or anyone else that came into my room.
I then walked to my dresser and nothing had changed and I felt relieved but then I noticed a new piece of furniture. It was narrow and I knew it was a lingerie dresser. I opened the top drawer with a trembling hand and there were my panties and I noticed the fragment smell of perfume. It the VS perfume I had bought and was afraid to use. It smelled delicious and the drawer made me feel better. I opened the rest of the drawers and there where my bras, negligees, babydolls, nylons and the rest of my lingerie all of which smelled lovely and was all neatly folded and in place.
I felt myself get a little wet at the wicked thought I had, but then I remembered my toys, they were not for the timid; they were not flattering, pure filth. It was the dildos, butt plugs, wigs and jewelry and I did not see any of it.
Thank god, my mom had thrown those out I thought, how would I be able to face her otherwise. Hopefully we would not talk about it.
Then I heard her voice, I turned and I saw her leaning on the door frame with her smile and glass of wine.
"Your didlos and butt plugs are under your bed. After the remodel is complete I will put the new furniture in that I bought for your room today. There is a sitting chair with a foot rest and your toys will fit nicely in the foot rest. Do you like the lingerie dresser and the dresses in your closet Sweetie?" She had never called me Sweetie before, so I let the comment slide, but I did get a chill.
"Yes mom thank you this was a very nice gesture, but it is overwhelming and scary." I replied. How could I not say thank you to someone that is being so nice too me?
"The wigs are being cleaned and we will set those on the self in your closet. Did you see the jewelry case?" she asked.
This was going too fast for me, I was getting light headed.
"No mom, where is it?" I asked in the most calming voice I could use.
"Over there on the top of your chest" she replied. I had missed it. All of my most secret passions were now out on public display. Everything that I had owned was now out for anyone to see and question and my female personality and desires were no longer a secret.
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I was sitting and smiling a bit as I thought back. What 6 months can do to a person. Just then my mom stepped into my room, "Wow Danni you look amazing. Stand up and let me see" my mother requested.
I did as she asked; I stood and slowly turned, then curtsied. "Thank you mom, you look beautiful as well."
"We will make them all turn their heads won't we? Are you ready to go?" I asked.
"Just a bit longer" she replied as she walked back to her room.
So I sat back on the bed once again feeling really good about her compliment and I started to recollect once again.
To be continued...