This is a continuation of the previous story about the gorgeous McElroy. This stunning man I had worked with sometime back. He works in distribution at the place I worked for several years. He is tall, blonde and has a magnificent body. Its all based off a great blowjob this God allowed me to give him back when I was there. The rest is juts fantasy for a man I had fallen in lust for. As he is married with kids. And there is obviously no likelihood I could ever have something serious or permanent with this man.
But do enjoy the tale... ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Man McElroy (McElroy's Test (14)
... Well happiness is a clearing thing. Chris and I had found one another again. And he had made me ever so happy. For the next few months he was here almost all the time. Or I would be at his place. Staying overnight as he held me and made live to me almost daily. But the happiness was to change quickly. For the problem was Chris was knew to this all. Loving another man. Being intimate with another man. So after some time he began to become distant. Just like the first time. But it had nothing to do with an ex wife or anything like that. And it wasn't anything about Chris being uncomfortable with it either. For when he was with me there was so much love in him. So much tenderness when he was with me.
"Are you okay?" I asked him one day "Yeah. I am good" he said
And as I did not want to make thing weird with him, I let it go. But as I did, he started to pull away. Less time with me and more time almost ignoring me. Brushing me off whenever he saw fit. And I knew that I was in for some heartache again. For I had fallen for Chris again fallen under the spell of this gorgeous man that had made me feel so damned good again. I spoke to Lisa and she said that she felt bad. But she had warned me about this when I first started this. Warned me to be wary of getting to invested in him. But I did and now I was back where I started with him. Unsure of what this man wanted if me So I called him out on it. Telling him that he was once again pulling away from me and confronted him with the question if why. And was there someone else?. Or did he just want to get back with his wife?
"Meet me for a coffee" he said "I want to let you know what's going on" "I love you though" he ended
I lowered my head as he said this. Pulling the phone off my ear. But then said back that I loved him too. And we would talk. Lisa thought it would be a bad idea. And she said that I should not go alone. She offered to come. But I said that I would be okay. I was more able to handle this heart break. Better so than the last time.
"Just call me if you need me" she said
I went to meet him for that coffee. Although I was not much for the drink. I was already wired and uneasy about what he was going to tell me. Expecting the worst. And when he did it was pretty bad as it was. Chris had decided that since he was free. Free if his 'bitch' wife, that he wanted to experience more. That he still lived me very much. 'But I wanna live it up a bit'. This was his excuse for his being distant.
"I am sorry if I was leading you in too much" he continued "I do live you ever so much" "But I have been meeting up with others to just have some fun." "You can understand. Can't you?"
I sat there in the seat if the coffee shop. Trying to stave off the tears that wanted to burst from my eyes. My mouth was plainly quivering as I was trying not to cry. Holding in the sobs that wanted to burst out of me. And when he tried to reach for my hand I pulled back. He looked at me and knew I was heartbroken.
"Look" I blurted out "You do what ever you need to do for yourself to be okay with whatever it is you really want" "I just can't wait for you". "Not any more Chris" "It's too much. Just too much"
I then said I had to go and got up. He tried to stop me but I just left. I. Was crying on my way home. Going back home and just bawling my eyes out. I decided that I was not meant for relationship. And I just shelved myself entirely from it. Not even looking at another man in that way again. So much so that I somehow even turned off desire. I wanted to part of anything like this any more. For I would not risk my heart again for anyone. I did go out in my own after a while. Moving out of Lisa's place to give her her space. Saying I didn't want my sticking around to mess with our friendship. She tried to tell me it was okay. That I should not worry about it. But I still moved out. My focus was back to work and just binging in TV. It's all I really did. I rarely went out. And most certainly not a gay establishment. I didn't want anything to deter me from my solitary life. But Lisa tried to get me to move in. To move passed the heart break that Chris had left me. Trying secretly to get me dates. All of which I denied and crushed before they could even happen.
"You gotta date again hon" she said "No. I don't" I bit back "I appreciate your worry and caring for me". "But I have no interest in anyone else. Anyone"
She huffed with frustration at me. Telling me that this was a greater regret than having Chris in my life in the first place. At least it showed that I was alive. Now I just seemed dead and barren to emotion. And it was sad for her to see. I got angry with her that she would not just let it go. So I started to stop hanging with her (and she became the only person I had in the passed few months). So I was then after alone. Completely alone, and I was utterly fine with it. The only issue I had was somehow every now and then Chris would cross my mind. This gorgeous man I had fallen for twice, only to be broken each time passed into my thoughts. And when he did I would get depressed. Very much so.
"I saw him" Lisa told me once, in the once in a grand blue moon we hung out. "Who?" I asked her "Him. Chris" "Ohh. So?" "He was with some guy." "Oh. I see"
She then said that he did not look happy. He looked almost miserable. Like he did not want to be there But that the guy was thin and small compared to the man's bigger frame.
"I. I really don't care" I said aloud "He can be with whomever he wants" "I just don't.."
It was left at that and we had dinner. Then I went home and cried. Sobbed into my pillow as I lay there. Remembering how he felt and that some other guy was with him now. Someone he probably loved more than me. At least that's what I figured. The issue was it hurt. And why did it hurt? That was easy, I was still in love with Chris...
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To be continued