This story is 90% true. Some of the sex is my fantasy: what I wished had happened. The following again proves that you must tell your lover that you love him, every chance you get. Do it now! Do not wait to do it tomorrow. Tomorrow will be too late.
My love is gone.
We buried him today.
His heart just gave out; that beautiful heart that was so loving.
The chapel was too small and there must have been at least 150 people standing during the memorial service. I saw a lot of our friends there; friends who knew R*** so well. But not as well as I did.
He was a pharmacist and the first time I saw him I was struck not only by his dark, good looks, but also by his friendly attitude and willingness to help. That was eight years ago. I found out that he was 41 years old, married with four children. When I handed him my prescription little did I realize how close we would become.
He flashed a bright smile at me and said that it would be about 15 minutes and if I had other shopping to do in the store to come back at that time. I thanked him and went browsing through the drug store while he worked on my prescription. When I returned he was dealing with a customer while two others waited to be served. I stood aside and admired his handsome features and manly body. He looked to be about six feet tall with developed muscles, although it was hard to discern anything through the smock he was wearing. I daydreamed about what it would be like to feel his hot naked body against mine. As my cock expanded I fantasized about having an affair with such a good looking stud but being 20 years older I knew that I was just another 'old man' to him and I really didn't stand a chance. Besides, I'm certain that he was straight and would probably punch my 61-year-old nose if I ever so much as hinted about a gay relationship.
He had coal black hair with strong facial features. Glancing up at the wall I saw his diploma for pharmacology and his name. He was Italian and I wasn't sure that I could pronounce his first name! My handsome pharmacist had graduated from a local university and attended pharmacy school in another state.
My turn finally came and again I was rewarded with that beaming smile. As he was getting my medication I asked how to pronounce his name, pointing to his diploma. He told me and then said everyone just called him R***. To keep the conversation going (I was determined to know more about this 'Italian Stallion') I asked if he played golf, it being one of my own favorite pastimes. You'd have thought I had just presented him with a $100 tip! His face broke into another big smile and he told me that golf was his greatest pleasure. We spent the next ten or fifteen minutes talking about golf and our own exploits on the course. When another customer came up he told me to wait if I had the time and we'd talk some more. So, while he was taking care of the customer I again fantasized about how it would feel to have his big cock up my ass. I think I actually blushed a few times with those thoughts racing through my head.
We still hadn't really introduced ourselves to each other so when he became free and returned his attention to me I stuck out my hand and told him my name. He grasped it with a strong, warm grip and repeated the nickname he gave me earlier. (Did our hands stay clasped longer than necessary for the typical male greeting? It seemed so to me.) We decided to get together for some golf and I gave him my telephone number so he could call me when he had a day off. I left the store thinking what a great person he seemed to be and how I felt that I had found a real good golfing buddy.
We did get together for golf on several occasions during the following weeks and he introduced me to his other golfing friends. I was a member of a private country club and invited them to be my guests at my club's course the next time they could play. As it turns out, only R*** could make it so he and I played as a twosome on my course on his day off. Following golf (he beat the pants off of me!) I invited him to have lunch with me at the clubhouse. We enjoyed a couple of beers (he liked Fosters, which I immediately began drinking as my own favorite!) and had a sandwich as we rehashed our games. He was an excellent golfer with a single digit handicap while my handicap was considerably higher. But in spite of the difference in our ages and golfing skills, he treated me as an equal; I even began thinking of him as the brother I never had. We decided to continue our golf matches whenever we could and the following year he joined my club. We became inseparable and our friends would call us 'R*** and the old man.' My feelings for him became stronger and there were moments when we were alone that I wanted to hold him close and tell him how much I loved him. I didn't for fear that he would reject me and end our friendship. But, I knew that he had feelings for me because he would occasionally tell me that he loved me. But he always said it in a brotherly sort of way so I wasn't sure whether there could be something more to his feelings or not. That is until we went on our first overnight golf outing.
R*** and I had gone out of town to play golf numerous times but we always returned home the same day. One day I received an entry blank for a special tournament in a city about 100 miles away. I was qualified to play in this two-day tournament because of my association with a particular organization and was allowed to bring a friend because it was a two-man best ball tournament. Naturally I invited my best friend to be my guest. He was ecstatic about it because the golf course we were going to play was well known as one of the best in the state. We would play a practice round Friday and then the actual tournament took place Saturday and Sunday. The first year we drove back and forth between our homes and the tournament location. But it got to be quite an effort to get up early each morning to drive the 100 miles to play and then drive back home so we decided that in the future (the tournament was an annual event) we would stay overnight in a motel. And we did, enjoying each other's company while sharing a motel room.
The second year of the tournament I drove us over Friday morning and we played our practice round with two other guys. After the round we had a few beers with our new friends and then went to check into our motel. R*** was drinking his third or fourth beer and started joking with me as I drove. He made remarks like "Wait 'til I get you in that motel room and have my way with you." I laughed it off, secretly thinking how much I would love for him to do just that! Our conversations had always been filled with sexual innuendoes, especially after we'd both had several beers, so I really didn't take him seriously. After all, I thought, he was always joking and making suggestive remarks about us but nothing ever happened. We usually just laughed it off and went on talking. But this time he kept on talking about my 'pussy ass' and what he'd love to do with it. I was getting a bit uneasy and tried to steer the conversation to other topics but he kept coming back to that same thread. But, we soon arrived at the motel and the task of registering and finding our room stopped all sex talk. At least for awhile.
Of course, as soon as we entered the room we had to have a drink (next to beer it was vodka and tonic that we liked best) so he went to get ice while I unpacked. The TV was blaring away with the weather report and I thought that this is a good beginning to a great weekend of golf. The weather was supposed to be very good through Saturday but a cold front coming in Saturday night might bring some rain Sunday. I wasn't worried because we came to have fun and a little rain wasn't going to spoil it!
Returning with the ice he made us each a very strong vodka and tonic. When I remarked about how strong it was he said it was to loosen me up for the night's activities. I still didn't think anything of what he was saying because I knew he'd already had several beers and he was just blowing off steam. He started to unpack and I announced that I was going to take a shower and then we could decide where we wanted to go for dinner. It was still early so we could take our time showering and relaxing. I was undressing when he wondered out loud if the motel had any adult channels on TV and looked around the room for the TV guide book. Entering the bathroom I heard him yell. "Aha! They do have adult channels. This may be alright after all!" Thinking no more about it I turned the water on and stepped into the shower stall. After finishing my shower, I stepped out to dry off, the bathroom door ajar, just as I had left it. While rubbing myself with the towel, he abruptly came into the bathroom proclaiming that he had to pee "like a horse." Hearing his steady stream splash in the toilet I peeked at him and his member. I had seen him partially naked before at our club but what I saw now got me very excited. His long cock was flaccid but seemed to be growing as his stream trickled down to a few drops. He turned and saw me staring and then looked at my naked butt, which was turned toward him. He patted it with his hand, said "Nice ass" and walked out. My cock almost grew to its full 6 inches when he did that. I had already started getting hard when I saw him pissing. Now I stood there with a full hard on, frozen to the spot as he left the bathroom, leaving the door wide open so I was fully exposed to anyone in the bedroom. I hurriedly closed the bathroom door before he could see my arousal when he yelled, "Don't be shy. You don't have anything that I haven't already seen." I thought I'd be cute and, getting up the courage to respond, I yelled back "Yeah, but if you see this you won't be able to contain yourself!" There! That should get him, I thought, smiling at my bravado. With a self-satisfied smirk on my face I continued my drying off when suddenly the bathroom door flew open again and he marched in naked. "Well, it don't look like much to me," he said staring at my now semi-soft member. With that, he turned the water on in the shower stall and stepped inside. I was left standing with an open mouth, upstaged once more by my Italian Stallion! I just never could seem to get in the last word.
Nothing more was said and after we dressed we decide to go find a nice restaurant with a bar. I'd heard of a place that served lobster and when I mentioned it to R*** he was all for going there. I called and made reservations and we were seated and drinking Chardonnay by 8 p.m. During dinner our conversation revolved mainly around golf and if any of our friends from home might be playing in the tournament. I did notice that from time to time he would stare at the cute waiter who was serving us. But then I figured he was more than likely in a daze after consuming so much alcohol. I thought nothing more about it.
It was after ten when we finally got back to the motel. Both of us were very tired after the two-hour drive, the five hour round of golf and then the beer, vodka and wine. It took me almost two whole seconds to disrobe to my briefs and fall on the bed. I was ready for sleep but R*** began channel surfing the TV. He wondered out loud where the X-rated stuff was and I said that you have to call the office so they can set it up for our room. He picked up the telephone and I heard him talking about getting adult movies in our room. A few minutes later the phone rang and he answered it, listened for a minute and then said thanks. He clicked on a particular channel and suddenly there was a guy with a big cock just getting ready to stick it into a blonde's pussy. This woke me up real quickly! A moan from my stud buddy in the adjacent bed told me that he was just as interested in this flick as I was. I thought to myself 'wouldn't it be great if another guy with a big cock came into the scene for a three-way?' And that's just what happened! Except that the new guy was a big black stud with a cock about 12 inches long! I heard R*** yell "WOW! Look at that dick!" Now, normally I don't have a lot to say but R*** always has some comment to make about everything and while I stared at the screen with my mouth hanging open and drool sliding down my chin, he kept up a steady stream of talk. "Man, he's got the biggest cock I've ever seen. You ever seen anything like that? I bet it's at least 12 inches, don't you? He'll tear that pussy apart with that thing" he kept ranting on, hardly pausing to take a breath. As the characters on the screen were getting more into it, with the white guy fucking the girl and the black guy feeding her mouth his massive tool, R*** started yelling. "Let's see some cum. I wanna see cum. Come on, I wanna see cum!" he blared at the screen. But, there never was any cum shown and R*** was terribly disappointed.
Fatigue overtook me and I began dropping off, only to be revived every time R*** would yell out at the screen for cum. Earlier when my full attention was on the TV, I had crawled beneath the bed covers and removed my briefs. My hard cock needed attention and I was trying to fondle it under the covers without letting my roommate see what I was doing. He, meanwhile, was still lying on top of the covers of his bed but with a very large bulge in his briefs. I kept sneaking peeks at him to see if he would take his underwear off and fondle his own cock but he never did. It was then that I became drowsy and I turned away from the TV screen to get the glare out of my eyes, unaware that as I did so I pulled the covers off of my rear end, mooning R*** with all my glory! It wasn't long before I felt a hand caressing my bare ass and startled I threw the covers back over myself. R*** had reached across between our beds and touched me and without thinking I pushed him away. He laughed and said something like "Go to sleep old man. We got lots of time." At least that's what I thought he said but I couldn't be sure because of my foggy state. Nothing else happened that night and we both awoke the next morning with throbbing hangovers.
Saturday dawned bright and sunny. The TV weatherman said it would get to a high of 76 degrees with light winds. A perfect day for golf! In spite of our aching heads we decided that we were going to enjoy the day and we quickly shaved and dressed to go get some breakfast. After several cups of coffee with toast, eggs and bacon we were off to the course for our 9 a.m. shotgun start. I was feeling better every minute and by tee-off time we were in very good spirits. Of course R*** had an excellent round shooting 79 while I shot my usual score in the 90s. After the first round we were second in our flight and were feeling very good about ourselves. We decided to celebrate with some other friends from our area and we met them in the clubhouse's 19th Hole for several rounds of beer. Well, you know how it is: one guy buys a round and then another buys a round and then another guy, and since you don't want to be the only one not buying you buy the fourth round. Naturally we were all stoned before we left the bar and I'm surprised I found my way back to the motel without incident. It was about 4 p.m. so I stripped to my briefs and laid down for a nap before dinner. We had already made arrangements to have dinner with a bunch of other folks at a famous local restaurant so we didn't have to decide where we were going to eat that night. We were to meet them there at 8 p.m.
When I slowly woke up from the nap I felt very hot and was going to throw the covers off when I discovered that R*** had fallen asleep on my bed and was cuddled up to me in spoon fashion. If I hadn't had to pee so bad I would have loved to lay there feeling his warm body pressed against my back. But if I didn't get to the bathroom right now I would have an accident in the bed! I slipped out of his arms that were wrapped around my chest and ran to the bathroom, just making it in time before the flow began. Luckily we had both stripped to our briefs when we lay down so I didn't have to take too many clothes off. As it was I ripped my briefs trying to get my cock out before I peed on myself. The relief felt so good that I stood there for a long time after the flow had stopped. Suddenly a voice directly in my ear said "If you shake it more than once you're playing with it!" I nearly jumped out of my skin! Then it said, "Spread your legs. I gotta go too...bad!" I quickly jumped aside and saw R*** standing there completely naked as a strong stream of yellow fluid shot from his penis. As he was pissing he turned to me and, looking me straight in the eye, said "I hope you didn't take advantage of me while I was passed out in your bed." A slow smile began on his lips as he was saying this and I knew that I was blushing like crazy because my face felt red-hot. Why did he have this effect on me? Stuttering like a schoolboy, I said, "Uh, er, ah, no, ah, I just woke up, ah, er, well, ah..." I couldn't even complete a sentence with those dark eyes staring so deep into my soul. At that moment I wanted to smash my lips against his and crush my body to his whether he was finished pissing or not! But, I turned and left the bathroom without saying anything more. He was chuckling as I did so.
We showered and dressed and made it to the restaurant on time. I vowed not to drink so much tonight because I wanted to be fresh when we started the final round of the tournament tomorrow. But R*** had his usual cocktails before dinner, wine with his steak and even a brandy with his coffee afterwards. But he never showed any signs of inebriation, something that always amazed me about him. When we got back to the motel we were both still rather wide awake even though it was well past 10 p.m. The nap earlier had refreshed us so that we stayed up watching TV for awhile. Again R*** called and got us connected to an adult video. This time it was two guys and two women who had mistakenly been assigned the same hotel room and of course the hotel didn't have any extra rooms so they had to share the one bed. Suuure they did! Oh well, an old cliche but it makes for interesting situations. Obviously it soon became one big fuckfest with him screwing her and her screwing him and then they switched and all of a sudden one of the guys was sucking the other guy! At first I didn't believe what I was seeing and I quickly glanced over to the other bed to see what R*** was doing. He turned towards me with that sly grin and said "Have you ever sucked a cock?"
The silence was deafening, except for the moans emanating from the TV. I pretended not to have heard him and turned back to stare at the TV screen. He kept looking at me and finally said, "Well?" I shot a glance back at him, noticing the huge bulge in his shorts as my eyes swept up his body, and said "Huh?" Not the most eloquent response I've ever given but with the question hanging in the air I was using delaying tactics until I could get my voice back and come up with an answer that was not self-incriminating. "I said, have you ever sucked a cock?" He said it so loudly that the people in the next room had to have heard him. "Shhhh" I hissed, "they'll hear you" gesturing to the connecting door between our rooms. "Fuck 'em" he responded in the same loud voice. "Are you going to answer me?" There was dead silence. Then softly, "You know, sometimes silence says more than words." He stared at me with that shit-eating grin of his daring me to say something.
Panic! What was I going to say? If I deny it I don't think I could do it with any conviction in my voice. I coughed and weakly gasped "Well, you know, when I was a teenager, well, we did some things..." and I let it trail off. "Bullshit" he bellowed at me, scaring me so bad that I nearly flew out of the bed. "Shhhh" I spewed at him again, pointing to the wall. "Oh fuck them," he roared. "I want to know when was the last time you sucked a cock. And don't give me that teenage bullshit. I know you better than that, old man!" I wanted to crawl under the covers and hide but he was sitting up on the side of his bed by now and looking as if he was ready to pounce on me. I just couldn't say anything. I opened my mouth but only a tiny squeak came out. I closed it, swallowed and tried again. "What difference does it make?" I managed to get out in a whisper so low that he had to lean forward to hear what I was saying. "Oh, nothing," he responded, crawling back onto his bed and laying down. "I just wanted to know." Pause... "I have."
There was, as they say, a very pregnant pause. Did I really hear him right? Did he just say that he had sucked cock? I stared at him while he was staring at the TV, which by now had lost all interest for me. Before I could say anything more, he continued: "It was in college. My roommate when I was a sophomore. We had a bet and I lost so I had to suck his cock. No big deal." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Here's my straight Italian stud telling me that he sucked cock in college. I wanted to know more. Did his roommate suck him back? Did he suck anybody else while in college? I was full of questions but before I could ask one he turned and said "So? Did you?"
Caught! Now I had to give an answer. And I'd better tell the truth because he always could tell when I was lying. He'd caught me in small lies before. My mind raced trying to come up with something but I couldn't think of anything but the truth. So, I finally shrugged, sighed, and said "Yes!" "When, where and with whom?" he immediately asked, turning so that he was facing me with those smoldering black eyes. Oh God! I thought, what do I do now. I stammered around for a bit trying to imply that it was so long ago that I couldn't remember. But he persisted. "Come on, it can't have been so long ago that you don't remember. Sucking cock is something you remember, every detail, for your whole life." He said it like an attorney cross-examining a witness on the stand. "Well," I stuttered again,"it was a few years ago when I met a guy on the Internet. He was from upstate and we started exchanging emails and one day he said he was going to be in the area and would like to meet me. So I went to his motel room and one thing led to another and, well, I just did it." Whew, was I glad to get that off of my chest! R*** stared at me for what seemed like an eternity but then said in a calm voice, "Are you gay?"
"No!" I blurted out almost immediately, too quick to be believed. Nothing was said for the longest time and I knew then and there that the jig was up and I was about to come out of the closet to my best friend. I thought, 'this is it; he'll never like me again' and the tears started.
"It's ok," he replied softly. "I still love you." I melted on the spot and tears gushed from my eyes. He came to me and sitting on my bed he held me as I sobbed in his arms. Caressing my bare back and my head with his hands he said, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." He pressed me to him and my tears streamed down his hairless chest onto his abdomen.
Suddenly I felt so safe, so secure, wrapped in his arms. With my own arms encircling him I pulled him down onto the bed on top of me. I could feel my arousal as I thought what I wanted to do next. Something that I've been wanting to do for years. I wondered if he would let me. Or would he be repulsed and push me away? I had to try. I just couldn't go on any longer without expressing my secret desire for him. We lay there for a short while as he relaxed and then slumped down further onto the bed so that we were now lying side by side facing each other. I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but love staring back at me. I knew he wanted me to do this.
Slowly, my hands traveled down his sides to his thighs and then back up across his tight briefs to his abdomen. As they brushed against his manhood I could tell that he too was aroused by our physical contact. I wanted this to be done right, not like some fumbling teenager with his first encounter. It was as if he knew exactly what I wanted because when my hands reached the top of his briefs he raised up so that I could lower them across his engorged cock and down his legs. He was magnificent! I pushed him so that he was lying flat on his back. He automatically spread his legs and my eyes devoured his beauty. His cock was long and thick, cut and probably 7 inches. He had a huge ball sack filled with what looked like two ostrich eggs in a pouch that was lying almost on the bed. Already drops of precum began appearing in his piss slit and I had a strong urge to bend down and slurp them up with my tongue. But first I looked at his face to see if it was ok with him for me to continue. His eyes were closed and his back arched up as if to say 'do anything you want.' Slowly I lowered my head to his crotch, breathing in the manly smells emanating from his body. I grasped his cock with my right hand eliciting a gasp from him as I did so. My mouth opened and I stuck my tongue out to taste him for the first time. He was sweet and salty and musky and a million other wonderful flavors. My lips encircled his knob and he let out a long moan. "Oh yessssss" he hissed through clenched teeth. I felt his hands on the back of my head pressing me down further onto his rigid pole. Opening wider I tried taking all of him into my mouth but gagged when I realized that he was much too big for me. So I withdrew slightly and ran my tongue up and around the ridge of his cockhead. He tasted like nothing I'd ever tasted before. Now he was pushing up with his hips, trying to get more of his massive tool into my mouth. Starting slowly but working up to a faster pace I sucked on his lovestick until I was afraid that I would come in my own underwear. Shifting to give me better access to his balls, at the same time I reached down and ripped what was left of my briefs off of my body. Now I was free to enjoy the same pleasures.
I placed my naked body alongside his so that my balls and cock rested on his foot. I rubbed my genitals across his foot and he immediately got the message and began stroking me with his toes. It was the most erotic thing that I've ever encountered and I laid there reveling in the sensations. Then his hands came back to my head, reminding me that there was unfinished business to attend to. I swooped down on his balls with my tongue, swathing them in saliva and leaving them all sticky and glistening. Enveloping each ball in my mouth, one at a time because they were too big to do both at once, I suckled on them like a baby pig does at his mother's teat.
"Oh God!" he moaned, "I'm close to cumming." With that alert I returned to his big prick and sucked again at the gnarly head. The precum was flowing much faster and I felt his cockhead expanding in my mouth. Reaching up with my hand I gently fondled his ballsack noticing that they were well up towards his abdomen signaling imminent release. Increasing the suction of my mouth I tongued his piss slit and around the head until I felt his body spasm and my mouth was filled with cum. Swallowing quickly my mouth was refilled with the creamy fluid from his balls. He kept on coming and I realized that I couldn't swallow it all so I let it slither down the side of his cock. All this time he was moaning loudly and jamming his pelvis up into my face. I reached up with my hands and grabbed his hips to try to calm him down but he just kept moaning and thrusting. Finally, when the cum stopped flowing from his cock he slumped back down onto the bed with a long, drawn out sigh. His eyes were still closed and his breathing smoothed out so that I thought he might be sleeping. It was then that I realized that I had come all over his foot and he was squishing it around with his toes. I looked down and saw what had happened and then heard a chuckle from him and looking up saw him gazing at me with those gorgeous eyes.
"Man, that was something!" he gushed with a big smile. I smiled back at him and heard him say "If you could only see your face, covered with cum!" And then he let out a great roar, like a lion standing over his fresh kill. This time I didn't shush him but lowered my face to the bed to wipe it against the sheets. "Come up here" he demanded while pulling me up his body. Face to face he gazed into my eyes again and whispered "I really do love you" and kissed me full on the mouth. I was so startled at this that for a moment I just stared at him with my eyes wide open while he kissed me, jamming his tongue into my mouth. Then I came to my senses and returned his kiss with full force. We stayed like that, tongues battling for supremacy, with our eyes closed. I never wanted it to end.
There were other times when we were able to express our love for each other in a fashion that only men can do. But now he is gone forever and I'll never feel his tender touch again or his warm body pressing against mine. I cannot bear the thought of never seeing him again. It crushes me so that I can't breathe. I don't want to go on without him. I'm too old to start over; I don't think I'll ever love anyone again.
The poet said "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." I don't know about that.
Rest in peace, my love. I will never forget you.