Hi there everyone. Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter out. It's been a busy couple of weeks, but I'm getting myself back on schedule and promise to keep the chapters coming.
I continue to rewrite, add to and write more chapters of this story and I'm seeking any suggestions, constructive criticms or positive feedback you have about the story. Please send information to cjwilson328@aol.com. For those if you who have already reached out to me - my thanks! I'm working your ideas into future storylines.
Don't worry, there is more of UD and Jack to come. So many of you have requested a chapter or two on Alex. Alex has graciously volunteered to take over for CJ while he entertains UD, Jack and Wally at his new slice of heaven. Hopefully, you will understand Alex better after the next two chapters, and it will tie up some loose ends for future installments of the story.
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Hi there everyone. It's Alex filling in for CJ on a chapter or two. CJ has received so many requests to do a chapter on me as a follow-up to the chapters from Ronny and Wally. I'm touched and flattered that many of you want to know more about me. CJ and I thought this was the perfect time for me to step in while he entertains UD and Jack for a few days, prior to releasing them to the rest of the group. Well, here it comes -- the life and times of Alex Turner.
Let me start off with a simple description of myself -- outsider. You may be asking yourself `outsider, what's Alex talking about?' Perhaps outsider is not the correct word, but through my life I've never felt as though I belonged to anyone or a group. My feelings have certainly changed in 2023, all due to meeting CJ Skinner. I have felt love in my life, but let me expand on my life to this point to illustrate my views of myself.
I'm not sure who my real mother is, and I don't frankly want to know. She was 17 when she had me, and turned me over for adoption right after giving birth to me. I've had frequent dreams of various people looking at me. Their mouths move, but I don't hear any words they are saying. I may be reaching here, but I was told by the woman who eventually became a mother to me that I was passed around through various foster homes until I reached four years old. I often wonder if the people I see in my visions are the foster parents that I was passed around from as a baby? I'll never know the answer to this, but I feel better now that these dreams are occurring less frequently in my life.
I do remember the last two homes I was in before the Turners adopted me. Both of the homes had children older than me. I remember trying to keep up with them by tagging along behind them. I can still hear one of them saying "go play by yourself, you're not in our family." In the last home, I always went to a suitcase to get my clothes versus a dresser. The lady who watched me often said "you won't be here long, so we won't put your clothes in a dresser." I'm not sure if I understood all of this at the time, but now reflecting on these items I understand why I didn't feel normal like the other kids surrounding me.
I do remember the first time I met the Turners. I was brought into a room and told that the two people in front of me want to make me their son. I remember smiling at both of them and giving them each a hug. We walked out of the agency with my new dad carrying my small suitcase containing what possessions I did have from the various foster homes I was in.
From that day on, I finally developed feelings of trust, security and love. I was smothered in love, and realized that my mom and dad had finally entered my life to save me.
Looking back, mom was very protective of me. She convinced my dad to hold me out of kindergarten for one more year to make sure I was accustomed to them and my new environment. They read to me every night before going to bed, and played games with me as much as I wanted. Mom stayed at home with me during the days, and dad always returned to us in the early evening after a long day at work. Dad was an electrician by trade, but to be honest he was a general handyman. Looking back, I cannot remember him ever backing away from fixing something, building me something or teaching me how to do things with my hands. Mom was very caring, and worked with me every day on reading, simple math, my manners and cooking. I looked forward to helping her daily make our lunch and dinner.
Our neighborhood had several children that I was able to play with. We lived on the end of a cul-de-sac in a grey stucco ranch. The kids were nice to me which was a totally different experience for me, versus the ones I remember from my foster home stays. Tommy and Susan were close to my age, and I remember being excited that we were all going to start kindergarten together.
Dad eventually convinced mom to let me play with Tommy and Susan as much as possible. He always pointed out to her that mom and him cannot be the only two people in my life. Mom reluctantly released her tight grip on me and saw how much joy it brought me in playing with the other kids in the neighborhood, especially Tommy and Susan.
The day came for me to start kindergarten. I remember that dad stayed home that morning, and he and mom walked me to the bus stop at the end of our street. Tommy and Susan's parents were there as well. Our bus driver, Mr. Patterson treated all of us very nicely as we got on the bus. Before he started to pull away, he told us "Okay kids, wave bye to your parents. You'll see them later today."
Mr. Patterson dropped us off at Western Elementary in Bartow, Florida. For those of you asking `where is Bartow?', it's a small community east of Tampa and south of Lakeland, Florida. Bartow is the county seat for Polk County, Florida. Three buses in total were unloading students when I got off the bus. I remember thinking to myself "oh wow, there's a lot of kids here. I wonder if I will become friends with all of them?"
Susan and I were in the same kindergarten class, and Tommy was in the other class. We knew where our class room was because we had a meet the teacher event before school started. Our teacher's name is Mr. Starsyntorski. When he first met me, he leaned down and said "don't worry Alex if you can't pronounce my name. Quite a few youngsters cannot. You can call me Mr. Star. How does that sound to you?" I smiled at him, stuck out my hand and said "it's nice to meet you Mr. Star and I'm looking forward to being in your class." Mr. Star towered above me and probably intimidated most children with his height. I wasn't intimidated by him, and secretly hoped I will be as tall as he is when I grow up.
Mom and dad told me a few years after kindergarten that they were very worried I would not adjust to kindergarten and the social aspects I'd face. I guess I surprised them as I felt very at ease with all of my classmates and Mr. Star. He taught us so much and I enjoyed going to his class each day. The other thing I remember from Mr. Star was how much emphasis he put on being respectful of each other. I did my very best to live by his words, and I benefited tremendously from them. I respected all of my classmates, and in turn they respected me. By the end of the school year, I had almost thirty new friends and mom and dad were very happy that I was fully engaged into the school routine.
I remember Mr. Star posting four suggestions right beside the door so that we could see them every time we left our room. He didn't call them rules, because he said "it's your choice to follow them or not. I don't want to inflict rules on any of you, but rather I'd like for you to follow my suggestions so that you can be a happy person in life." I always liked the way he said they were suggestions and not rules, and it was my choice to follow them or not. The four suggestions were simple: "Show love and care to your family"; "Be respectful of others"; "Treat other people the way you want to be treated"; and "Learn new things each day of your life". I remember looking at those rules each day as I was in the classroom. I can honestly say they have stayed with me through life, as I have a card with the four suggestions tucked away in my wallet at all times.
The school year came to an end. I was sad to see it come to an end, but I was also excited to take everything Mr. Star taught us and continue my journey forward. One the last day of school, Mr. Star gave us each a laminated copy of his suggestions. He also said to come back and visit him as we were always welcome in his classroom.
I was so proud of the copy of suggestions Mr. Star gave us, and when dad got home, I asked him "can we make a frame for this daddy, so that I can put it on my desk?" Dad smiled at me and said "we sure can Alex. I'd enjoy making a frame with you so that you can view those suggestions each and every day when you get up."
Over the summer, I began to realize how much older my mom and dad were compared to other parents. I played on a soccer team, and mom and dad cheered me on at each of my games. I remember scoring two goals in one game. Everyone was coming up to me and my parents afterward, congratulating me on what a wonderful job I did. I remember one man saying to my mom and dad "you must be very proud of your grandson." Dad quickly corrected them by saying "Alex is our son, and we're very proud of him. He's doing well in school, and I think we may have a future soccer star in the making." From that day on, I always looked at my parents and compared them to others. They had more silver colored hair than the other parents, but that did not bother me. With each day that passed, I loved them more for taking me in and giving me a life full of love.
I noticed that my mom coughed a lot, and it always seemed to get worse when we were outside. Dad explained to me that as a child she had asthma, and it has gotten worse through her life. I did not know what asthma was, so I asked dad how to spell it. I looked it up in the dictionary, and did not understand all of the words like spasms or bronchi. I did understand the words `difficulty in breathing.' This worried me and I remember dad trying to calm me down. He sat me down in the workshop and said "Alex, your mom will be fine as long as she does not over exert herself. She may not go outside with us and that is okay. The air conditioning helps her breath easier. We just need to continue to help her as much as we can. She loves you very much, and I love you as well. You're our miracle from God son, never forget that."
From that day on I helped as much as I could inside and outside the house. Dad saw this, and kept giving me additional responsibilities. I liked helping mom and dad out, especially dad. He always seemed to be there for me, especially when mom was not feeling her best.
My early school years continued on and I continued to make friends, and learn more. Looking back, I'd have to say I was an average student. I comprehended most topics, but as I continued to work with dad, I decided that I wanted to do a job where I worked with my hands when I grew up. Dad continued to give me more freedoms in working with him, but he said we needed to wait until I was ten to work with power tools. I couldn't wait until I turned ten, so to pass the time I always watched dad working with the tools soaking up as much knowledge as I could.
I continued to play soccer and enjoyed it. Gradually, mom went to less of my games. It was obvious to me that mom's health was declining as I saw her taking more breaks in the house in order to catch her breath. I remember her always saying "Alex, come read to me while I take a short break." I always had several books right beside mom's chair, and it delighted me that I could amuse her while she rested. I know it gave her comfort, and I enjoyed the fact that I was calming her during her difficult breathing episodes.
Finally, my tenth birthday arrived. Mom made me a beautiful cake and I could not believe how many gifts that dad and her showered me with. My favorite gift was a tool belt that dad gave me. It had my name stitched in it. He looked at me and said "you've been a big help to me in the shop son, and I want you to keep working with me if you want to?" Of course I wanted to! Dad also kept his word to me, and he started letting me use his power tools. We started with the easier tools to use, and gradually I worked my way up to using his more powerful tools. He was very proud of me and said "your mom has been wanting patio furniture. Let's start building some now, and we'll surprise her for her birthday." I was so happy when dad said all of this. For the next four months, we worked together in our free time. We surprised mom on her birthday with two lounge chairs, two side tables and a swing on a frame. Mom was surprised with everything, and it all looked so nice in our sunroom. Mom was able to enjoy the furniture extensively while she breathed easier with the air conditioning in the sunroom.
My time at Western Elementary came to an end. On the last day of school, I went by Mr. Star's room to wish him a good summer and to thank him for being the best teacher I had at the school. When I walked into his room, he smiled at me and said "Alex, I was hoping to see you today." He picked up something from his desk, walked to me and kneeled down on his knee. I smiled into his face and said "I'll be going to the middle school next year Mr. Star. I have always remembered your four suggestions each day, and they have guided me. You're the best teacher here, and I hope I find someone like you at middle school." I saw him take a gulp and he said "you were in my first class Alex after I became a teacher. It's been an honor to watch you and the other kids grow up here at the elementary. I remember the day that you and your dad brought in your framed copy of my suggestions to show me. It made me so proud to know that you have followed my suggestions. I made you a pocket size card with the four suggestions on it. You carry this always with you, and when you get a wallet, you can put this card in it. As long as you carry these suggestions Alex, you will always be happy Alex."
I gave him a hug and said "thank you so much. I'll have my dad take me to a store so I can buy a wallet and carry these always with me Mr. Starsyntorski." He looked at me, gave me a big smile and said "Alex, you said my full name and it was pronounced correctly. I'm so proud of you!" I returned a big grin to him and said "I've been practicing, and after four years I'm able to say your name correctly. I'll be back to visit you when I can."
I continued to help mom and dad out over the summer. Tommy's dad was teaching him how to play tennis, and asked me if I wanted to learn the game as well? I asked mom and dad if I had their permission, and they both thought that was a good idea for me. Tommy, his dad and I worked several days a week on our tennis knowledge and skills. By the end of the summer, Tommy's dad was very proud of us. We had both grown in our skills and we enjoyed playing each other at the park by our houses. My dad came out one day towards the end of the summer to watch Tommy and I play a game against each other. Tommy's dad joined us as well and told my dad "These two have developed excellent skills over the summer. If they keep working at it, they may be able to play on a high-school team when they are older."
Tommy was my best friend growing up. Even though I had made plenty of friends in elementary school, I felt as though many of us were changing in middle school. I can't say that the changes were positive for everyone. Cliques were formed, and I felt as though I was outside of all the cliques. Tommy and I stuck together through thick and thin. We continued to practice tennis, and often other kids made fun of us saying "only girls play tennis, so you two must be girls."
We knew this was not true, as we saw many men playing tennis. I remember saying to Tommy one day "they're all jealous of us because we can play so well." He smiled at me and said "yeah Alex, we are good. We can laugh at them when we win our first high school match together."
Dad and I taught Tommy how to work with tools and build things. Tommy enjoyed it just as much as I did. We always hung out either at his house, my house or the park playing tennis. Life was good for us, and I finally felt as though I had three people in my life that I could count on no matter what.
Middle school and junior high went by quickly for the two of us. We often had classes together, so it was good to have each other as study buddies. As we got older, we explored more around our neighborhood. Our parents trusted us, and gave us more freedoms. Tommy and I found a creek, that emptied into a lake. We knew better than to go swimming in it as most water holes in Florida are occupied by alligators. Tommy said "hey Alex look at that area over there. It's clear, and has some sand along the shore." We went over there and discovered that someone had built a tree house away from the shore. The ladder and structure appeared to be safe, so we both climbed up. I looked at Tommy and said "wow, this is neat. You think we can occupy it and call it our fort?" Tommy smiled at me and said "we sure can Alex. This will be our fort and instead of a lake, we'll call it our lagoon."
Tommy and I took both of our dads to the fort to make sure we had permission to play there. Both of our dads felt everything was safe, and it was close to both of our houses. They told us to be careful, and enjoy our fort. Dad had a lot of lumber in stock and said one day "hey boys, how about we build you a table and two chairs that you can use in your fort?" Tommy and I thought that was a great idea, and we both participated in the building activities. About one week after dad made the suggestion, we finished the chairs and table. Both of us were so proud of the end product, and could hardly wait to get them situated in the fort.
The adventures of Alex and Tommy continued with each of us going through puberty around the same time. When we had finished our chores around the house, you could always find us at the tennis court in the park, or at our fort which we christened as TomAle. I know, it was childish to use our first names, but we thought the name sounded great! We tried several variations of it as Tommy often thought my name should be first, since A is the first letter in the alphabet. We finally agreed on TomAle as we both decided when we get older, we can brew our own beer and we'll call it TomAle. Such lofty dreams for pre-teen boys!
Tommy and I met a couple at the park playing tennis one day. They stopped to watch us, and greeted us once we finished our match. The man introduced himself as Mack and his wife as Cathy. Mack asked us "how did you two learn to play tennis?" Tommy answered saying "my dad taught Alex and I to play, Sir. We have continued playing, and hope to make the high school team once we start high school." Mack replied "you're both very good, and I think some additional lessons will do wonders for both of you. I own the Polk Tennis and Racquetball Club. I'm in need of some workers, and if you both are able to work there, I'll set you up with lessons from one of our professional trainers." We both thought that sounded like an excellent idea, but said we need to talk to our parents. Matt pulled out two of his business cards, and gave one to each of us. He said "you two talk to your parents, then give me a call. You're both energetic, and I can see you helping out tremendously at the club. In addition, you'll receive some great lessons for your future tennis playing."
All of our parents thought it was a good idea for Tommy and I to learn about jobs outside the home as well as showing additional responsibilities to other people. Our dads took Tommy and me to the club the next day, where they met Mack and to make sure everything was legitimate. Mack put the charm on for both of our dads saying "I have watched these two in the park often. They both have a solid skill set, and I can see them benefitting from additional lessons. In addition, they will be helping me out here tremendously with jobs where they will learn additional skills and responsibilities." The four of us took a few minutes away from Mack, and Tommy and I agreed that we will not let our chores or school work be impacted. Tommy and I walked back to Mack and accepted his offer for a job and tennis lessons.
Tommy and I started work the next week. We agreed to work several hours each afternoon for Mack, and he sat us up with lessons from his two club pros named Ed and Bernie. Our schedules quickly filled up, but Tommy and I kept our promise to our dads. Our chores were always finished on time at our homes, and our school work did not suffer at all. Besides tennis skills, Ed and Bernie also showed us how to life weights and use gym equipment properly at the weight room located in the club.
There we were, two twelve-year olds thinking they had it all. We enjoyed everything we did: we worked together to keep the club clean and neat; we took lessons two to three times a week; we began lifting weights which increased our muscle; we had some pocket money now which we could use for arcade games or whatever we wanted to spend it on; and more than anything, we had the love of our parents who were enjoying watching us enter into our teen years.
Once we entered our school health classes, we learned about reproduction. Our parents had to sign permission notes for us to learn about the subject in school. In addition, our parents had `the birds and bees' talk with both of us. Tommy and I thought the movies in school were weird, but we both were experiencing unusual sensations in our bodies when we least expected it. I can still see myself embarrassed at the chalk board for chubbing up for no particular reason. I told Tommy about it, and he said "don't worry Alex, that is happening to me as well. I don't know when it's going to happen, and I'm not sure how to decrease it when it happens." As we continued our health class, we were told about how an erection can be relieved.
Tommy and I added one more thing to our list of having it all -- the ability to please and be pleased by each other. It started out in our free time at the fort. We both wanted to see if masturbation did relieve us. I remember the first time we both stripped naked in front of each other. We both started stroking our own penises at first. I said to Tommy "do you like calling it a penis? I heard Bernie say something to Ed about his cock hurting one day. I like the word cock better, do you Tommy?" Tommy smiled at me and said "yeah Alex, besides it's easier for me to say cock than penis." We ended up both sitting on the floor continuing to stroke our cocks. Tommy reached over to me and began to rub my upper leg. I returned the favor to him and ran my hand over his chest and stomach area. These actions seemed to be working for both of us as our cocks grew more. Our stroking continued, and we each increased the speed. Soon both of us shot some milky colored liquid from our cocks. I felt better, and soon realized it was true -- masturbation does relieve an erection. I looked at Tommy and said "do you feel better? I do Tommy, and I'm glad I got to experience this with you." Tommy smiled at me and said "yeah Alex, I feel really good now. We need to keep practicing at this, just like we practice our tennis lessons. Soon we'll be pros at tennis and masturbation." We both laughed, and cleaned ourselves up with a towel we had stashed away in our fort.
Our sexual experiments continued when Tommy and I had time. I remember having so many contests with him like who could shoot the most cum out of their cock, who could shoot their cum the farthest and finally we continued to measure each other in our cock and ball area to see who was growing the quickest. I'll never forget the first day that Tommy kissed me while we were stroking our cocks. I backed away from him and said "what are you doing, Tommy? I did not think that boys should kiss each other?" Tommy placed his hand on my chest and said "trust me, Alex. You know that we have fun together, and I don't see why we can't share kisses since we're best friends." Tommy convinced me that it was okay to kiss, and soon kissing became part of our routine together. We never shared the fact with anyone, but always enjoyed the time we spent together.
High school rolled around for Tommy and myself. Each of us were excited to try out for the tennis team, as well as experience what we heard so much about in junior high. Our grades were okay, with Tommy taking on more challenging classes than me. School was always fine for me, but I already had it in my mind that I was going to work in a job where I can build or repair stuff, versus going to college.
Tommy and I both tried out for the tennis team, and we both made it. Our coach was glad to have freshman make the team, and decided to let us play both single matches. Coach A, as we all called him, worked with the two of us to also enhance our skills in playing doubles tennis. We both encountered ups and downs during our freshman year on the team. Overall, we both came out with winning records and both received a varsity letter for our accomplishments.
My home life was still very good. Mom and dad continued to provide for me as well as show me all the love that I could handle. Mom's health condition continued to deteriorate. What was once labeled as asthma, eventually turned into emphysema and chronic bronchitis. It was necessary to have oxygen at the house for mom to use when she needed it. She felt bad that she did not see any of my tennis matches, but I told her not to worry. I retrieved my wallet and showed her a picture of her that I always carried with me. I said "see Mom, you're always with me even when I am playing a tennis match. I feel your love and strength with me at all times." She teared up, pulled me in for a hug and said "I love you Alex, and I'm so glad that you're my son. You're building up a good life for yourself, and I will always be with you in anyway I can my dear. I want to thank you for all of the joy and fulfillment you have brought to my life. You are and always will be my miracle child."
I spent as much time as I could with mom that summer as I felt her time was short. It definitely cut into my time with Tommy but he understood. There was not a day when he did not check in to see if he could do anything for my mom or me. I remember a June day when I pulled him in for a hug and said "thank you for being my best friend, and understanding my feelings of needing to be close to mom now." Tommy just responded "there is no need to thank me, Alex. I'm here for you and your mom. I'll always be here whenever you need me." He gave me a kiss on my cheek and left back to his house. I broke down in tears after he left wondering if he really meant he will be here for me always?
Two weeks later, mom passed away peacefully in her sleep. I was fifteen when it happened, and felt the loss immediately. One of the three most special people in my life had left me. There was a definite void in my life, and I vowed to help dad make it through this in whatever way he needed me to.
Dad was 64 at the time of mom's death. After taking a few weeks off, he returned to work and continued to keep up a bold front for me. I did the same for him. Mom taught me quite a bit about cooking, and I always made sure to have good hearty meals ready for him and me when it was time to sit down for dinner.
The first year without mom was difficult for both dad and me. Tommy kept his word, and we spent every moment we could together. It was almost as though that Tommy felt an obligation to care for both of us. Once spring came around, I was surprised to see dad show up at all of my tennis matches. He tagged along with Tommy's parents to all of the home and away matches. It was such a good feeling to me knowing he was there cheering me on. Besides the three of them, Mack, Ed and Bernie often showed up at our matches knowing they had part in forming Tommy and I into the great tennis players we are today. Tommy made it to the district games in our sophomore year. I was happy for him in his accomplishment. The guy who beat him at the district final had beaten me earlier in the year at one of our home matches. After his match, Tommy looked at me and said "one of us is going to beat him next year Alex." I smiled at Tommy and said "we will Tommy. Let's make that our goal for next year and continue to improve our skills to make it happen."
Tommy and I lost our virginity the summer between our sophomore and junior year. We both had the day off work, and ended up at our fort. Our kissing and jacking off sessions had led to so much more between us. I remember that day when Tommy looked deep into my eyes and said "let me make love to you Alex. I love you, and I want to take our relationship to the next level." I smiled at him and replied "I love you also Tommy. You have helped me so much in my life, and I'm ready to take the next step with you."
Our first attempt was clumsy to say the least. Even though it was clumsy, it still meant so much to me. I know my mom and dad always told me that someday I will find a woman to love, and raise a family with. However, I questioned why it has to be a woman in my life? I was happy with Tommy, and through all of our experiences together I realized how deep my feelings were for him. I was in love with Tommy Mullins and could see myself spending my life with him.
My junior and senior year went by way too quickly for me. Dad and I fell into a comfortable routine. We had so many good discussions and entered into a friend relationship, besides our strong father-son bond. Dad discussed his future with me often. He said he wanted to continue work until I graduated from high school. After I'm out of high school he said he will start taking it easy and go into the retirement portion of his life. I was very honest with dad and told him so many times that I did not want to go to college. I had been studying adult trade schools in the state, and want to get certified in HVAC, construction and electrical work. Dad always told me there is nothing wrong with your choices, and you will find pride in knowing you're solving peoples' problems with your knowledge and hard work. He often told me to "watch out for yourself Alex and find something that makes you happy in your life. Don't go to college, just because you think it's the right thing to do. I'm proud of how you're thinking and will do anything in my power to help you out son."
Tommy and I also discussed our futures together. In our junior year, we were both being enticed by several universities to attend their school. It was nice to receive the attention, but I had no desire to spend another four years of my life in school and end up behind a desk in a business organization. Tommy understood me but thought I was making the wrong decision by not entertaining achieving a bachelors degree in some field. Our discussions never turned harsh, but we often left the topic in a `agree to disagree' position. I did attend one college visit with Tommy to the University of Florida. It was nice to have the red carpet rolled out for us, but the experience did not change my mind in what I want to do for my future.
Tommy and I went to the state tennis tournament in our junior year as a doubles team. We ended up in second place which was quite an accomplishment for two young men from Polk County. I know Tommy and I wanted to win the state title, but our opponents were so much stronger than us. We took our second-place victory, held our heads high and continued on with our adventures over the summer and into our senior year.
The runner-up position fueled the college fire even more for us. Early in our senior year, Tommy decided to attend Florida State University in Tallahassee. He received a scholarship for all four years to play tennis. I was very proud of him and happy that he was achieving his goals that he had set for himself. I know he wanted me to reconsider everything, but I was confident in my decision and wanted to proceed with my plans which I had established.
Graduation day came for both of us, and Tommy's parents along with my dad threw us a big party on our street. I was surprised by all of the people who attended: all of our neighbors attended; Mack and his wife along with a number of the people we had met at the tennis club; Ed and Bernie were there and kept informing everyone that they had taught us everything we know about tennis; a large number of kids we graduated with stopped by; and there was one special guest who surprised me by attending - Mr. Starsyntorski.
Mr. Star gave me a hug and said "congratulations on your graduation from high school Alex. I know we have not seen each other for a couple of years, but I've been following all of your accomplishments with the tennis team. I made it a point to stop by your house today to congratulate you, as well as wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors."
Mr. Star and I grabbed some food, and sat down for a lengthy conversation. Dad recognized who I was with and quickly joined us. I found out that Mr. Star took the principal position at Western Elementary. He informed dad and I that he enjoyed it, but admitted he misses the daily interactions with his students. He looked at me and said "I cannot believe that twelve years have passed by so quickly Alex. I remember you on our meet the teacher night, and look at us know. You're a fine-looking young man with the rest of his life in front of him, and I'm in an administration position now with a few more grey hairs on my head." All three of us had a good laugh on his comments, and I went on to explain to Mr. Star what I was intending to do. Mr. Star listened intently to all of my plans and thoughts. Once I was finished, he looked at me and said "I never told you about suggestion number five Alex, but you're following it. I'm glad to see that you're following a dream that makes you happy." I smiled at him, pulled out my wallet and obtained Mr. Star's four suggestions gift he gave me over eight years ago. I then said "I follow these suggestions every day Mr. Star, and like you I am very happy with my life and where I am heading with it."
Mr. Star left before the party ended saying he had several other students he wanted to drop in on. Before leaving he gave me a hug and said "please Alex, keep in touch with me. If there is anything I can do for you as you progress through your trade school classes, please just let me know." I watched Mr. Star as he walked away from the party and got into his car. I thought to myself "Alex, you do need to keep in touch with him. He's one man who will do what he can to help you out when you need it most."
Tommy and I spent as much time together as we could before he had to leave for Tallahassee. Our love for each other continued to grow, and we made promises to each other that our distance apart was temporary in our life. I remember Tommy saying to me the night before he left "four years will go by so quickly for us. We'll keep in touch by phone, facetime chats and I'll be home on school breaks and next summer. Between both of our schedules and classes, the time will pass by very quickly for us. I love you Alex, and we'll be together for the rest of our lives in four short years."
Tommy and I made love that night and I believed every word he told me. I held on to the thoughts of being with him, knowing that my certifications will be needed in whatever area of the state he ends up in. The next day was very tough for the both of us, as his parents helped him finish packing up the vehicle for their trip to Tallahassee. He grabbed me, gave me a hug and whispered in my ear "this is not goodbye my love. Remember, we'll be together in four short years." I watched their car drive off down the street. I stood there in the middle of the street waving even after they were out of sight. I felt dad come up behind me and said "come on Alex, I'll treat us to a nice dinner out tonight. You'll talk to Tommy soon and remember your new adventures will be starting up in just under a week. You'll be so busy with everything, that the time will pass by very quickly for you."
Dad was right. I attended a local trade school on the east side of Tampa which took me about thirty minutes to get to and return from daily. I made friends quickly there, and dad kept his word to me as he took retirement. He still kept busy with his projects and friends in the area. I was pleased to see that he was not going to curl up and watch the world go by him.
Tommy and I kept in close contact for the first two years. We talked several times a week, and we made the most of our time together during his breaks and the summer. By the end of our second year, I had passed my certifications in HVAC, electrical, construction and plumbing work. My skills were in high demand, and I had no problem getting work in the area. Dad told me that I was welcome to stay in the home with him as he liked the company. I honestly didn't mind the setup at all because dad never invaded my privacy, and always made me feel secure. It was a pleasure to deepen our relationship, and I know down deep he liked having me near in case he needs something.
I dove into my work and time passed by even quicker for me. Dad enjoyed hearing my stories of what I did each day and always said "I'm so proud of you, the way you are helping people out with their problems. You can be very proud of what you do Alex." I was proud of what I was doing. I enjoyed the work; I liked helping people out with their problems; and I was not tied down behind a desk doing something I did not enjoy.
Tommy and I continued to stay in touch, but our busy schedules did not allow us to have as many calls as we have had in the past. I knew he was busy and he knew I was busy with my work. I did not let anything bother me as I knew we only had two more years of this situation. I was getting concerned about what I was going to do with dad. He and I had grown so close, and I did not want to abandon him once Tommy was finished with school. My hope was that Tommy will find some work with his accounting and finance degrees close by the area. I was in a fantasy world hoping that by having this happen, I could be with the man I loved and continue to keep an eye on dad as he enjoyed his retirement.
Tommy did return for the summer between his junior and senior year. I was busier than I had ever been at work, and I knew Tommy did not like it when I could not meet up with him immediately during the day. I remember telling him "Things will be different when you land your first job Tommy. We'll both be working, and our time together will be in the evenings." I thought everything was okay, as Tommy went back to work for Mack at the tennis club. His working seemed to ease the tension that he put on us, and we made our quality time together in the evenings and during the weekends.
Tommy's senior year flew by for us. Before I knew it, he had graduated from Florida State. His parents threw him a big party which dad and I attended. Tommy invited some of his college friends to the party. I tried my hardest to mingle with all of his friends, but I felt as though I was a second-class citizen to all of them. My feelings of being an outsider quickly returned to me. I tried to calm myself down, but it was no use. I told dad that I was going back to the house as I did not feel to well. He decided to go back with me, and we made our exit from the party.
Dad and I each grabbed a beer and headed for the patio. Dad knew I was upset about something and asked me "what can I do to help you out Alex? I know something is on your mind, and if you want to share it I'm here for you son." I smiled at dad, took a drink of my beer and said "Dad, I have isolated myself tremendously in my life. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the time I spend with you and I miss all of the special times I had with Mom. When I reflect back in my life, I can say I only revealed myself to three people in my life. Tommy is the third person, and I feel us drifting apart." Dad smiled at me and said "I understand Alex, and I had similar feelings early in my career. I had special friends whom I thought would be with me throughout my life. They went off to college, while I started work immediately after high school. We went on our separate ways, even though I thought we'd stay friends forever. People change Alex as they experience new events in their life. Do you regret any of the choices you have made?"
I took another drink of my beer and said "no dad, I do not regret any of my choices. I love you and mom, and I love what I've learned in my job and the work I'm doing. I did have visions of Tommy and me being friends forever, and I don't see that happening now dad. I can tell he wants bigger things than Bartow, Florida and I'm very content here with what I have." Dad got up from his chair, and joined me on the swing that we built together. He placed his hand on my leg and said "Alex, I know you and Tommy are more than friends. I've known for quite a while. It bothered me at first, but I adjusted and am fine with my feelings now." I teared up as dad was saying this. He continued on and said "Alex, I love you and want you to be happy and healthy in your life. You may have to let Tommy go for a while to discover what he wants. If he returns to you son, it's meant to be for both of you." I gave dad a hug, and buried my head into his chest sobbing like a baby.
A few days went by, and I got a text from Tommy saying "meet me at the fort when you're finished with work." I had a light day on that particular day, and left work early. I made my way to the fort and Tommy was there already sitting on one of the chairs we had made together. I could tell he had been crying when I appeared in the fort. He looked at me, and I looked at him. I knew at that point I was not going to like to hear what he was about to say.
Tommy informed me that he was in love with a guy that I met at the party. Chet and him both have job offers in Atlanta, and they're going to move there to be together. Once I heard this, I felt like my insides had been ripped out of me. I turned away from him and said "all those promises you made to me Tommy, were they real or just fantasy ideas of yours to keep me around for you to use?" He replied "Alex, I have never used you and everything I have shared with you in our life has been real. We have gone down different avenues in life, and I want more than this small town and you. I'm sorry that I did not tell you earlier than this, but I wanted this conversation to happen in person versus over the phone." I turned around to Tommy after his comment and said "do me a favor Tommy and don't make me any more promises in our lifetime. I hope you find your happiness with Chet, and now I need to forge on and find my happiness." I walked away from our fort knowing that was probably the last time I'll see Tommy Mullins in my life.
I put up a brave front to dad, but cried myself to sleep for at least one month after Tommy had left the area. Dad found out from Tommy's dad about him moving to Atlanta for a job. One night at dinner dad looked at me and said "Alex, you don't need to stay here in Bartow just for me. Your skills are valuable anywhere you go. Do you want to go to Atlanta with Tommy?" I smiled at dad and replied "Tommy does not want me in Atlanta dad, as he has found love with another man. I'm happy here dad, if you don't mind me hanging around?" Dad just smiled at me and said "you always have a home here Alex, but just remember do anything that makes you happy. If Bartow doesn't make you happy, get out of here son. I'll understand anything you do or tell me." I got up and gave dad a big hug. I looked him in the eyes and said "I love you, and I love this community. I want to be here dad, it's my home."
Dad passed away three years later. I'm not sure what caused his death as he never went to a doctor in his life. I had a private graveside service for him with only his close friends attending. Tommy's mom and dad were present, and I tried to avoid them as much as possible. After his death, I went into a deep depression feeling as though I was alone again in this big world.
Three months later, my depression was still present. I went to work each day in order to keep my sanity. I'd come home to the empty house each night, which was now overflowing with empty beer bottles and too many fast-food remnants lying around the place. I looked in the mirror and said to myself "Alex, get your ass in gear and make some changes to help you find happiness." I pulled out my wallet and looked at my four suggestions card. I smiled and said "Mr. Star may be able to help me out of this funk I'm in."
I called Mr. Star and asked him if he could meet me for dinner? He instantly agreed and we set a time for the next evening to meet at an Italian restaurant in town. It felt weird to be drinking wine with my kindergarten teacher, but he put me at such ease. After we placed our order, he looked at me and said "Alex, pardon the expression but you look like hell. What's happening with you, and how can I help?"
I spilled my guts to Mr. Star about losing dad, being gay and losing the only man I ever loved. Mr. Star was very compassionate through the whole conversation. Once I wrapped up my story with him, he grabbed my hands and said "I'm so sorry about your losses Alex. Remember though, you are not alone in this life time. I'm glad you called me. Alex, I have a number of ideas for you to think about. We probably won't get through them all tonight, but will you put your trust in me and hear them all out?"
I smiled at Mr. Star and said "yes Mr. Star, I'll listen to everything you have to offer." He smiled and said "good. First off, no more of this Mr. Star shit. It's Joesph or Joe, which ever you prefer to call me." I cracked up and said "okay, Joe it is."
Joe continued on and said "I believe Bartow is weighing you down like an anchor. Am I correct in saying that you drive by Tommy's old home every day?" I nodded my head yes and he said "please believe me when I tell you, we need to get you out of this town. Every day you stay here weighs you down with positive and negative memories. I can tell the negative ones are overwhelming you, Alex. Will you take a few days off week, and let me take you to St Petersburg for a long weekend? I have a condo there, that is nothing but negative memories for me. It weighs me down Alex and I have decided to finally sell it to someone else. If you like it and the area, I'm sure you'll be able to find work there. If you do like it, I'll make you a great deal on the place and you'll be doing both of us a favor."
I looked into Joe's eyes and said "wow, Joe. You're taking me by surprise with all of this. I have not even thought about moving, and I'm not sure if that will resolve all of my feelings?"
Joe just smiled at me and said "nothing ventured, nothing gained Alex. If nothing else, let's plan on a long weekend away from Bartow. It will be good for both of us to get out of town, enjoy some time on the beach and unload our souls to each other. I have the feeling that you have only scratched the surface with me, and I need to confess some items to you."
Joe had me intrigued, and I quickly accepted his offer. He said "Alex, please remember I'm here for you any time of the day or night. I'll be at your house next Wednesday afternoon around 5:00 pm. Pack some shorts, shirts, underwear and your swim suit. I promise you we'll have a good weekend, and I really believe I can help you out tremendously Alex."
I left the restaurant feeling upbeat about what Joe had shared with me. I did not know what he planned for next weekend, but I was excited for a possible change. If nothing comes of the adventure, I know that I have a very caring friend in Bartow who will do anything he can for me. Watch out St Petersburg, here I come!