Warnings and Disclaimers:
I don't know any of the members of NSYNC, BSB or any celebrity mentioned. I don't know anything about their sexual orientation or the orientation of any other celebrities in this story (even though I wish some of them were gay). This story is fiction and you shouldn't take it for anything else but that. This is only for entertainment value only folks. Hope you enjoy the show oh I mean reading.
"Twilight in Paris...City of lights, its everything I hoped it would be..." by JEM and the Holograms
My Kinda Guy - Twilight in Paris Chapter - 12, Part E by JT Poole and Nicole Brown
// New York City, NY - The Soffitel - Main Suite - Monday Afternoon //
"What's the deal here?" JC asks, walking up to JT and Kevin. "Why are we here in the same suite? I don't want to be cooped up with you fucking freaks."
"Josh shut the fuck up," Justin says, turning around. "We don't need this shit right now."
"Mind your business Justin. You might want to be here, but I don't want to spend my time around you people," JC says getting up in Justin's face. "I am not staying here."
"Well fine with me. I don't give a flying fuck if you go!" Justin shouts, turning around and hugging Nick. "With the way you have been acting since we've been here, I don't care where you go! I don't care if you fall off the face of this Earth. Just stay away from me Joshua Chasez."
"Baby you don't mean that. He's your best friend," Nick says as Justin pulls him away from where JC was standing with Kevin in JT.
"We are getting off track here," JT says, looking over at Nikki and Howie. "We are here so that we can help with finding CJ. I don't give a flyin' fuck if you don't like the fact that we're here or not. We are, so deal with it. This suite has seven bedrooms. Take a room and stay out of everyone else's hair."
"Well if its any consolation...me and Carson are going to our place to get some things squared away for our move. If you need us, JT knows where to find us," Lance says as he and Carson waves and walks out of the room.
"Well that means we have extra room here in the suite," JT says, as people start moving around in the room.
"I'm outta here," JC says, grabbing his bag and walking towards the door.
"Josh, Josh wait!" Joey shouts, walking behind JC, but then stopping.
"Tony you can't just let him leave in his condition!" Nikki exclaimed. "You know he isn't thinking clearly, and he's gonna get himself hurt out there by himself! We have to go after him!"
"He doesn't want me," Joey stated, turning away from her. "He hates me because I can't make up my mind... it's just like Ma said, I'm never gonna be happy."
"You listen to me Anthony Fatone," Nikki said, turning him to face her again. "You're one of the most loving people I know and of course you'll be happy. We just have to figure out a way for this to work... I know we can. Just please come with me!"
"All right," he said, taking Nikki's hand and hurrying out the door behind JC. He was still in the hall, waiting for the elevator.
Nikki reached him first, placing a gentle hand on his arm. "Josh? Please come back inside the suite and wait 'til you're a little more sober before you go outside."
JC looked at her like she'd lost her mind, shaking her hand off. "Fuck you >hiccup<! I ain't goin' nowhere with >hiccup< your stank ass!"
"Josh, stop it!" Joey hissed between clenched teeth as he watched Nikki's face go from concerned to sad. "She's only trying to help you! There's no need to talk to her..."
"Fuck you and yo skank bitch Joe," JC retorted, his words slurred. "You don't give a damn about me! If you did, you woulda been there >hiccup< when we were on the plane. Not locked away in some fucking bed >hiccup< bedroom with her."
"What the hell is your problem Joshua?" Nikki exploded, swinging him around to face him, furious now. "Are you angry with me because Tony came to me when I was hurting to comfort me? Is that it?"
"Yes! He shoulda been with me!" Josh shouted back, advancing on her with malice in his eyes. "Every time something bad ha>hiccup< happens, he fucking runs to you! Why can't you just get the >burp< fuck out of our lives and let me live with my husband in peace? He doesn't want you bitch, but you keep throwing yourself at him! >Hiccup< why can't you just take your lil bastards and leave?"
Nikki recoiled as if she'd been struck, her face draining of color as JC stared at her with a cruel smile, getting right up in her face. "You're nothing but a skank ass bitch, and I bet Joey regrets the day he met you. But he told me you give great head... that's probably why he kept your nasty black ass around all these years. Cause God only knows you're not pretty enough to catch your own man. You had to resort to being Michael's whore and then Howie's bitch just to keep from being alone. It must suck knowing your ex only kept you to get at another man..."
"That's enough!" Joey roared, shoving JC backwards as he held Nikki, but she pulled away, sliding down the wall and hugging her knees. "You need to get the fuck outta here before I forget that I ever loved you and do something I'll regret."
"What the fuck ever Joe!" JC retorted, smiling drunkenly as he stepped onto the elevator, but getting in one last parting shot. "I hope you're happy with that bitch cause you're never coming back to me!"
"Just go Josh!" Nikki snapped, face tear streaked. "And if I see you again before I find my son, I'll kick your ass personally and with great pleasure, you fucking prick!"
The elevator doors closed on whatever JC might have been going to say. Joey turned to Nikki, kneeling in front of her. "Don't cry Kick... he's just a jealous asshole. Please don't cry baby."
"Let me go Tony!" she stated, pushing him away from her and standing up again. She stared at him, her gaze steady. "Is what he said true? Did you tell him the only reason you kept me around was because I gave good head?"
Joey looked dumbfounded, and Nikki's eyes narrowed before she turned to leave him standing there. He caught her arm, kissing her deeply, holding her body close to his. When they broke apart, her eyes were shining and her breath coming in quick little gasps.
"I would never say those things about you!" Joey replied, kissing her again until she went limp against him. "I told you I loved you and I meant every word. Now forget about JC. He doesn't deserve to have that kind of power. Let's go back inside."
// Back at the Hotel //
"We still don't have any updates. Officer Patrick said that as soon as they have a lead, they'll let us know. The only thing we can do right now is just sit here and wait," JT says, sitting down next to Kevin on the sofa in front of the television.
"So what do you want to do while we wait baby?" Kevin asks, draping his arm around JT's shoulder.
"I don't really care Kevin. I'm just tired right now. I need to just sit here and chill out for a bit," JT says as Justin brushes past him, sitting on the sofa next to him.
"What's up guys? What are we doing tonight?" Justin asks, patting JT on the leg.
"So far I don't want to do anything. I just want to sit here and..." JT states as Kevin cut him off.
"Baby you need to stop dwelling on what assholes say to you. Don't pay any attention to their bullshit," Kevin says, leaning down and placing a kiss on JT's lips as Justin looks away from the two of them.
"The things those crazy people say must be true if they keep saying them," JT said as he tries to get up, but Kevin grabs his hips and pulls him back down. "Kevin no, I don't want to stay here now. I guess I'll go out on the balcony."
"No baby, stay here with me," Kevin begs, looking up at JT pleadingly.
"Yeah man, stay here with us and watch some TV. I'm sure something good is on," Justin says, patting JT's leg again, his hand lingering there a bit.
"I don't know," JT says, looking down at Justin's hand that was still resting on his leg. "I don't feel I like I should be here. Maybe I need to go take a nap or something."
"No, just stay here with me baby," Kevin says, noticing Justin's hand on JT's thigh. "We can enjoy ourselves...ourselves right here."
"Kevin is there something on TV you want to see?" JT asks.
"Not in particular, why baby?" Kevin asks, leaning in and kissing JT on the cheek while watching Justin's hand.
"Because I don't want to watch TV," JT says, as he gets up this time and walks away as Kevin stands up too, leaving Justin on the sofa with a frown on his face.
// Out on the Balcony //
"Baby why are you letting JC get to you like this?" Kevin asks. "He shouldn't matter anymore. I'm your husband, Justin, Nick, Howie and the others are your friends and we don't see you as some damn security person. You're my husband and their friend. Stop letting people hurt your feelings."
"Well I am not worrying about that right now. Just so that you will know Kevin, this is my last security assignment. I'm leaving Jive once we find Nikki's baby," JT tells his husband.
"What? Why?" Kevin asks.
"I'm tired of people treating me like the lowly security guard they think I am. I'm tired of having to look after guys that don't even respect me. I've had enough Kevin," JT says, turning away from Kevin, looking out over the city. "I can't do this job anymore."
"Baby what about me? Don't you still want to protect me?" Kevin asks, tears running down his face now.
"It's not about protecting you Kevin. I will always love you, but I can't do this job no more. For the last year I have put my life on the line to protect your friends, your extended family and all they do is treat me like crap. I can't do it anymore. I won't do it any more. Once Nikki's baby is back with her, I'm leaving Jive," JT explains to Kevin, still not looking at him.
"I know they hurt you baby. Hell they even hurt me at times. I know you're not happy with the things AJ, Brian, JC or even Chris have said to you in the past, but I don't want this to affect our lives together baby. What happens when you leave Jive?" Kevin asks.
"Remember when I spent that week here in New York back in October?" JT asks, turning around to look at Kevin.
"Yeah I do baby. You said you needed to get away from the South," Kevin replies.
"Yeah I needed that too, but I also got started with a business venture," JT states as Kevin lean a little closer to him, wrapping his arms around him as the two of them held on to each other.
"A business venture? What kind baby?" Kevin asks, looking into JT's eyes.
"I opened a security contractual firm. I am now the owner of JPR Security," JT says, as Kevin looks at him closely. "Stop looking at me like that Kev, you scaring me."
"You own your own company? Is that what you are trying to say baby?" Kevin asks.
"Yes I own my own company now Kevin." JT says as Kevin smiles and then kisses him.
"Hot damn, my baby owns his own company. Are you going to tell the others baby?" Kevin asks, pulling back a little ways.
"I guess we can tell them Kevin. We'll tell Nikki, Nick and Justin. I don't want the others to know about it yet. I know they'll have something smart and/or evil to say about it," JT says.
"Come on baby let's go tell them," Kevin says, pulling JT back into the room, draping his arm over JT's shoulder while kissing him on the cheek. "They are going to be so happy for you."
"Yeah if you say so," JT says as Nick walks into the room just in time.
"You two guess what?" Kevin says, as Justin looks up.
"What? A chicken got a butt?" Justin asks.
"Well yeah chicken do have butts, but no that's not it. My baby opened his own company," Kevin says, wrapping JT up in a hug and spinning him around.
"Kevin put me down before I end up on the floor!" JT says laughing as Justin walks over to the two of them.
"Cool JT. I'm so happy for you," Justin says, hugging JT, letting his hands fall down to JT's ass as he grips the cushions there.
"Hey!" JT exclaims as Justin pulls away.
"Sorry about that. Kinda thought I was hugging Nicky," Justin replies, blushing.
"Yeah right man. You can't confuse my ghetto 'Charmin' with Nick's. I got a whole lot of caboose back there. Sorry, no offense Nick," JT says, laughing. "Don't be squeezing the 'Charmin' I might get the wrong idea."
"Oh yeah? What kind of ideas would you think Justin might get baby?" Kevin asks, walking over to JT, placing a kiss to his lips.
"I don't know what is going through Mr. Strip Janet Naked During the Half Time show at the Super Bowl's mind," JT says as Justin remembers the events of the Super Bowl and starts to blush furiously. "Oh look Kev, he's blushing."
"Oh stop it. It was a design flaw," Justin says, stomping out of the room as Nick follows him.
"Yeah right," JT says as he and Kevin starts laughing. "I think I made him mad."
"I don't think you did baby. You know he and Nick still have a crush on you," Kevin says, pulling JT over to the sofa.
"Back on tour Nick asked me about how you were in bed," Kevin says as JT's eyes almost bugged out of his head.
"What? You better be kidding," JT says, looking at Kevin. "This is some big joke right? I remember you saying that when we were in Paris, but I thought you were only saying it to get me to come out of the room."
"No baby I was telling you the truth," Kevin says, smiling wickedly at JT.
"I don't like the look on your face Kevin. What are you thinking about right now?" JT asks, sliding away from Kevin.
"Let me tell you about what went down on tour," Kevin says, sliding closer to JT as he places a kiss to his lips. "Remember that night of hot phone sex we had?"
"Yeah, why?" JT asks.
"That talk with Justin and Nick that night got my juices flowing and I had to call you," Kevin says, kissing JT again.
*** Begin Flashback ***
"Yo Kev, can we talk for a bit?" Nick asked, sitting down across from Kevin in the lounge area of the tour bus.
"Sure. What's on your mind Nicky?" Kevin asked, putting his book down, turning his attention to Nick.
"Well I...I...ah...well I...I want to know what it's like to be with a black man." Nick said, as he started blushing. "Is it true about what they say about black men? Are they really packin' in the dick department?"
"Ah Nick do you really think that's appropriate to talk about?" Kevin asked.
"Well you are the only one of my friends that's married to a black man. Hell, you're the only guy I know that's married to a black man. I had to ask someone that would know the answers to my questions," Nick replied.
"Well I think your questions are a little bit out there man. That's really personal and all," Kevin said.
"I know it is Kevin. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have infringed on your privacy like that," Nick said as the door opened and Justin walked in.
"What's going on you two?" Justin asked, sitting next to Nick and kissing him.
"Well Nick is sitting here asking me questions about my husband," Kevin replied, crossing his leg and looking at Justin's expression.
"Baby you didn't ask him for real did you?" Justin asked, not meeting Kevin's eyes.
"Well you said you wanted to know how big it was," Nick said as Justin started blushing.
"I was only joking baby. Oh God...Kevin I'm really sorry," Justin said, not looking up.
"Oh whatever Justin. If you want to know something about JT, why don't you ask him about it sometime? I'm sure he'll whip it out and show you. He might even let you touch it," Kevin said, smirking at the expression on both Nick and Justin's faces.
"I don't think JT would do something like that Kevin," Justin said, picking up a nearby magazine and covering his crotch.
"You never know until you ask him Justin. He might whip it out for you and ask you to take care of his cravings," Kevin said, watching Justin closely.
"Ah I don't think we would have to go that far," Justin said, crossing his legs. "I just wanted to know if what they said about black guys was true or not."
"Oh it's true and done some Justin. When JT and me fuck, he becomes an animal in the bed. Sometimes I wonder if he's going to start howling or something. Oh God and when he takes me, it's like...it's like...let me put it this way. Girl I be walking funny for a few days," Kevin explained as Justin got up and left the room. "Is he alright?"
"I'm sure he is," Nick stated as both he and Kevin heard what sounded like someone moaning and groaning.
*** End Flashback ***
"So that's what had you so hot that night. Why didn't you tell me then?" JT asks.
"Because I didn't know how you would have reacted," Kevin replies, kissing JT.
"You actually told him I would show him my dick? Have you lost your mind Kevin?" JT asks.
"No I haven't. I don't really think Justin and Nick are that kind of couple," Kevin says, laying into JT's lap. "I don't think they have the guts to ask you those questions or approach you like that."
"I think you're wrong about that one. Justin just coped a feel a few minutes ago," JT says, laughing.
"Well I am glad you are laughing about this. I thought you would really go through the ceiling." Kevin says.
"You're my husband Kevin. I'm not going to go through the ceiling or anything like that. I just don't think it was wise for you to tell Justin and Nick what you did. I honestly think now after hearing what you just told me, he has a real honest to God crush on me," JT says.
"He does baby," Kevin says.
"And it's all your fault. That boy has it in his mind that I'm going to allow him to touch me and see my private parts," JT says getting up. "I'm not a piece of meat that you can share with your friends."
"JT it's not like that baby," Kevin says getting up and walking behind JT.
"Then how is it Kevin? You tell your friends some outlandish story to get Justin's hopes up ..." JT says as Kevin kisses him.
"Baby it's not like that. I know I was wrong for what I said to them, but if it makes you feel better, I'll tell just Justin the truth and tell him that you don't do things like that," Kevin says.
"Yeah right baby. How are you going to squash his feelings for me huh? He has a crush and that's not going away any time soon," JT states, heading towards the balcony.
"So what are we going to do?" Kevin asks, walking up behind JT.
"You mean what are you going to do about this." JT says, turning to face Kevin. "You started this, you are going to finish it."
"Baby I don't see a solution or any good way to fix this," Kevin says.
"I suggest you find a solution to this or you might have two pissy and heartbroken friends on your hands," JT says, pushing Kevin away as he walks back into the room. "I'm going to our room... you coming?"
"Be there in a few babe," Kevin says as JT's cell phone starts ringing.
"Hello?" JT asks, answering his phone.
"Mr. Richardson, Office Patrick here. I'm calling to inform you that Mr. Valente is able to have visitors now. Could you please escort Mrs. Dorough to Liberty Springs group home as soon as possible?" Officer John Patrick asks.
"Sure I can. What's the address?" JT asks.
"They are located at 1235 Middlebury Street in Long Island," Officer Patrick states as JT writes the information down on a sheet of paper.
"Okay. Thank you sir," JT states, hanging up the phone. "Let me go get Nikki."
"What's going on?" Kevin asks, grabbing JT by the arm.
"I have to take Nikki to Michael," JT says walking towards the room that Nikki and Howie had picked to be their room.
"What? You've got to be kidding. You can't take her to him. That's like a nightmare come true for her," Kevin says, frowning.
"I don't want to take her to him, but we want to find her baby and Steve said the baby was with Michael. He's the key to all of this," JT explains as he and Kevin walk over to Nikki and Howie's door and knock.
"Hi JT, Kevin. Is there something wrong?" Howie asks, standing in the doorway, holding baby Joshua.
"Ah...well...well I need to take Nikki to see Michael." JT says as Howie's expression changes to that of anger and then back to his somewhat somber demeanor.
"She's...she's not in here." Howie says, looking down at the floor just as the door opened and Nikki and Joey walked back into the room.
--- Nikki's POV ---
I allowed Tony to lead me back to the suite we were sharing with the others, my mind still in turmoil. I know Tony would never say those things, but how else would JC know about my skills in bed unless Tony told him? He kissed my hand, smiling down at me, his eyes dancing with the love he claims to feel for me. He kissed me one last time and then opened the door, letting me pass into the room ahead of him.
"Are you okay?" Kevin asked, his concern evident. I waved a hand dismissively, walking over to where D stood holding Joshua. He held his arms out to me, his "Mim-Mim" bringing a smile to my face.
"Hey baby boy," I said softly as I held him, blowing raspberries on his cheek. He giggled like the happy baby he was, trying to blow raspberries on my cheek too, bringing smiles to everybody's faces except D, who only watched us. "D? What's wrong?"
"The police called while you and Joey were in the hall... Michael is awake," he replied, frowning.
"Well why are you guys still standing here? Go talk to him," I said, snuggling with Joshua until JT cleared his throat.
"That's the thing Nikki... they want you to come too," he stated, watching me carefully.
My eyes flashed back and forth, and I felt the panic begin until D stepped close to me, his hand touching the small of my back. I looked at him, mouth trembling slightly. I know he's thinking about my nightmares of the time when I was with Michael. Nightmares that still have the power to wake me up in the early hours of the morning sobbing while D holds me, trying to calm me. He also knows how much the thought of being in a room with Michael could unnerve me, but I was determined to push my fears away long enough to do this for CJ.
"Guys she can't do this," Howie stated simply. I touched his arm, smiling crookedly.
"I-I'll do it," I whispered, sharing a glance with Howie that let him know I'd be okay, but now comes the hard part. "I-I just have one request."
"Sure girl, anything you need," JT said quickly. I looked at Joey, silently begging him not to fight me on this.
"I-I don't want Howie or Joey going with us... just me, Craig and JT," I said softly, but Joey was already about to loose his mind.
"Kick, you must be outta your damned mind to even think I'd let you anywhere near Michael while you're pregnant!" he spat, pacing like a caged tiger. "He almost killed you the last two times he saw you... and need I remind you about how he almost killed the boys the last night you were in Chicago?"
I faced him solemnly, stubbornly refusing to budge on this. "Tony listen to me," I begged, catching his arm and holding him still. "If Michael knows you're there, he won't tell us anything just to be spiteful. I can't risk loosing this opportunity just to play to your idea of chivalry. JT and Craig won't let anything happen to us. Right JT?"
"I'd kill Michael before I'd let him hurt her Joe," JT replied. "Besides, the New York police will be there the entire time. There's no way in hell he'll be able to hurt her."
"Nikki, one of us should go with you," Joey stated, equally stubborn in his refusal to let me talk him out of accompanying me. "If it makes you feel better, I'll stay in another room while you talk to him, but I'm going and that's final."
"But Tony, I..." I began, but he cut me off with one very angry look. My gazed dropped to the floor, and I sighed in defeat. "All right, you can go... but please, stay out of his way okay?"
"Fine, whatever Nicole," Joey said over his shoulder as he left to go grab our jackets. I could tell he was still upset about me wanting to leave him behind, but Howie put his free arm around me, kissing my cheek softly.
"He'll be okay, mija... he just wants to keep you safe," he whispered, resting his forehead against the side of my head. "I think I'll stay here with Joshua. I don't want him anywhere near that bastard, and I don't trust myself where he's concerned either."
"No!" I say suddenly, looking like a frightened child. "Please don't make me face him alone. I-I don't think I could do that... it'll be just like the dreams. He'll hurt me again..."
"Shhhhhh... I'll come," he says softly, hugging me closer to him. "I won't let anything happen. Come on, let's get Joshua ready to go."
The ride to Liberty Springs passes mostly in silence, broken only by the occasional outburst from Joshy when he sees something he likes. It helps to ease the tension I'm feeling, but I can still feel the dread weighing me down like a boulder. When we arrive at the facility, a fairly innocuous building in a residential area of Brooklyn, I'm ready to call off the whole thing until I look at both of my men. They're both trying so hard to be brave for me, but I can feel the fear for my safety, and for the safety of the baby inside me, from both of them, and it makes me feel strangely calm.
I'm hesitant to get out, but I open the door on the SUV, slipping to the ground wordlessly and allowing D and Tony to lead me over to where JT, Kevin and several detectives stood watching me. I pasted on a smile, extending a hand to them. "Hi, I'm Nicole Dorough. This is my husband Howie, and my son's biological father Joseph Fatone."
The female officer extended a hand, shaking mine in a firm grasp. "Mrs. Dorough, my name is Det. Jessica Dayne, and this is my partner Officer John Patrick. We'll be escorting you to your interview with your ex-husband, but before we do there are some things we'd like to discuss with you in private."
"Please call me Nicole," I insisted, smiling at both officers. "But if this has something to do with Michael, I'd prefer to discuss it with my family present."
"Very well Nicole," Officer Patrick began. "To begin with, your ex-husband has been under investigation in the murder of another resident, so he's under strict observation. The room you'll be meeting him in is like a police interrogation room, complete with one way mirror, so if at any time you feel threatened all you need to do is signal to myself or Det. Dayne and this interview stops."
"Fair enough," I said, squeezing Joey's hand. "What else do I need to know?"
"Well, your former mother in law is also here visiting Mr. Valente," Det. Dayne stated evenly, watching me closely, not missing the look that passed between Joey and I. "She's requesting that she be allowed to watch your session from inside the ante room. So far we've refused because we wanted to clear it with you."
"She can watch if she wants, but I want JT there too," I said softly, hoping that I wouldn't come to regret that decision. Det. Dayne nodded, placing a phone call on her cell as she showed us inside.
"Yeah, Mrs. Dorough agreed to allow Mrs. Fatone to view the session, so we're ready to start as soon as she'd brought upstairs," she said briskly, her heavy Brooklyn accent making me grin. She spoke for a few more minutes and then hung up, turning to me. "They're bringing him to the visiting room now. Are you ready?"
"As ready as I'll ever be," I replied nervously, turning to the guys and kissing D hugging him tight. Joey rubbed my back, whispering encouragement to me. I pulled away, looking at both of them for a second before I kissed Joshua quickly before turning to Det. Dayne. "I-I'm ready."
She nodded, holding the door open for me to precede her out into the hallway. She led me to an elevator, pressing the button for the third floor while I tried not to hyperventilate at the thought of facing Michael again after almost a year of being away from him. I almost jumped out of my skin when Jessica put her hand on my shoulder, shivering violently as I tried to calm down. Jessica looked at her partner over my shoulder and the two of them shared a knowing look as I almost stumbled out into the corridor when the elevator stopped on the correct floor.
"Nicole, are you sure you want to do this?" she asked kindly, stopping me before I could walk into the room where I knew Michael sat waiting for me. I managed a wobbly smile, nodding.
"I have to do this for my son," I said simply, squaring my shoulders. JT grinned at me, obviously trying to make me laugh, but I was so petrified that I just couldn't do it. They led me to a brightly colored door.
"Remember, if you need to stop just walk out of the room okay?" JT said as he hugged me. I clung to him for a moment, but let him go, turning to the door again. I drew one last calming breath and then twisted the knob, entering the room where Michael sat with his back to the door.
"Hello Princess," he said softly, wheeling himself around to face me. The cold look in his eyes belied the soft tone he'd used, but I knew I couldn't back out of this now. "I've been waiting for you to show your face since I got here. Now what the fuck do you want, you whore?"
"I-I just wanted t-to ask y-you if you knew w-where my son is Michael," I stammered, sinking into the chair that had been left in there. The smile he gave me sent shivers down my spine.
"Like I give a flyin' fuck where your brat is," he said, eyes flashing. "You and my so-called brother fucked and made those little bastards, so find them yourselves."
"Michael please," I begged, going to stand in front of him. "If you ever loved me, tell me where CJ is."
He burst out laughing, but there was no humor in the sound. "You gotta be shitting me! Like I could ever love your stupid ass. You were nothing but a convenient piece of ass to me, you stupid nigger bitch. But you did give some of the best head I've ever had. Of course, Joey had you first, but that was part of the thrill. Knowing I was turning you into my personal whore and punching bag almost made knowing that my brother would eventually take you back worth having to put up with your constant whining all those years."
I moved away from him, my hands covering my face. "W-why do you h-hate me so much? What d-did I ever do to you?"
"You stole Joey from me, you stupid cunt!" he shouted, making me jump again. I backed away from him, trying to avoid the hatred he was spewing, but he wheeled himself at me. "You were a worthless bitch, but I took you because I knew Joey would eventually come sniffing around again. He couldn't get enough of that hot black pussy, could he? And you gave it to him anytime he wanted, didn't you? Just like the fucking slut I always knew you were. Then you got knocked up with those little bastards and you were gonna try to pass them off as mine... but I knew. I'd never have had a baby with you."
"Is that why you tried to kill me the night I told you I was pregnant?" I asked, tears starting to fall slowly.
"I didn't want to kill you... just the little bastards in your belly," he replied, voice as cold as ice. "I enjoyed fucking you too much to kill you... especially knowing that as soon as Joey showed his face in Chicago, he'd be fucking you too. It was fun at first, getting to taste him on you... knowing we were both using you for the exact same things. But eventually I decided that you weren't good enough for either of us, so I decided to gut you like the worthless pig you are."
I backed into the corner, almost cowering as he spilled his venom... helpless to turn away or to block him out. He kept coming, his voice taking on a lulling quality, like a snake charming a bird before it strikes.
"You remember that night baby? Remember how hard you screamed... how you begged me to stop... to let you up from the bed because it hurt so much? Remember how your flesh tore open under my knife when I cut into you? I do. I remember every single second of it because I enjoyed the way you squealed, trying your best to get away from me. But you'll never really be free of me Nikki. I won't let you."
I pushed him away from me, groping blindly for the door as he laughed. "Awww don't go Princess... I was just getting started!"
His laughter followed me out the door where JT was waiting for me, holding me as I shivered violently; my mind too shocked to cry anymore as I relived all the moments Michael had spoken of. Det. Dayne steered us toward the elevators, her face showing how furious she was about the things that Michael had said to me. I felt a hand touch my back and recoiled, almost knocking JT over in my desperate haste to get away from that hand.
"It's okay Nicole... it's only me," Officer Taylor said softly, staring into my face. "She's going into shock. Maybe one of the doctors could give her something."
"N-n-no," I stammered, teeth chattering. "J-J-JT, t-tell t-t-them-m."
"She's pregnant... no drugs," he said over my head as we all boarded the elevator together, the three of them forming a solid barrier around me.
"They'll just give her a mild sedative," Det. Dayne said, frowning at the way my face had become pinched. "Nicole, the doctor's know what they're doing. I know they can give you something that will be safe for your baby, and you're going to need it if you even hope to sleep tonight."
I didn't respond verbally, just nodded my head. Jessica opened her phone again, making another quick call and then punching a button for the second floor. She made another call, telling the officer on the other end to have my husband and brother in law meet us at the elevators on the second floor. When the doors opened, Howie and Joey were already there waiting, wearing matching expressions of fury when they saw how shaken I was.
"What the hell happened to my wife?" Howie shouted, making me shrink back against JT. He reached for me, his voice soft and gentle. "It's just me mija... I'm not going to hurt you. What happened?"
"Michael happened," JT replied, easing me into Howie's waiting arms. "He really did a fucking job on her ..."
"I told you this was a bad fucking idea!" Joey snapped, handing Joshua to JT and turning me to face him. "Kick? Kick look at me. It's Tony babe... come on. We need you to come back to us."
"T-Tony?" I said, confused. "M-Michael said... he's gonna... the babies... I... no... please, no more."
"Hi I'm Dr. Ramirez," a short Latina said behind us, her eyes coming immediately to my face and she frowned at what she saw. "Let's get her in here and lie her down. Is she on any medications?"
"No, but she is pregnant," D replied, holding a sleeping Joshua. Dr. Ramirez nodded, pulling out a hypodermic needle and vial. She hurriedly swabbed my arm, injecting me before I could protest.
"This is the lowest dosage of sedative I could give her and still have it be effective," she explained, patting my arm. "I want you all to take her home and make sure she stays in bed for at least the next twenty-four hours. No unnecessary walking, no strenuous activity. I don't want her to miscarry this baby."
"She might miscarry?" D asked, his face draining of all color as he held my hand.
"I hate to say yes, but her body is under an intense amount of stress, so it is a possibility. Just follow my directions, and if she experiences any spotting or cramping, take her directly to the nearest hospital," she replied looking down at her pager. "If there's nothing else, I have to see another patient."
Whatever she'd given me was starting to kick in. I finally feel myself relaxing, and I didn't hear much beyond that. I felt myself being lifted in a pair of strong arms and being carried out to the waiting SUV's. Joey kissed me on my forehead, handing Joshua to Howie and whispering something to him before he walked back into the hospital just as the cars pulled away from the curb.
// 15 Minutes Later - Liberty Springs Waiting Room //
--- Phyllis' POV ---
I am so disgusted with Michael for the way he acted this evening. I had no idea that his attitude and demeanor towards Nikki was so vulgar. I'm so ashamed of him I don't know what to do. God... to think I treated Nikki so badly because I believed the things he said. I listened to every one of his lies, believed him whole-heartedly. Because of the lies he fed me I told her I didn't love her and she was like my own child. I should have trusted my own instincts about her and not listened to the garbage that person told me. Please Lord; forgive me for what I said to her. I was such a fool to believe that she was a bad wife to him. I just can't believe the things he said to her and the way he acted towards her just now.
"What happened ma?" My son asks, walking into the waiting area where I was sitting. "Why are you crying?"
"I did something wrong and I don't know if I'll be forgiven or not," I tell him, not meeting his eyes.
"What did you do ma?" He asks, sitting next to me.
"I hurt Nikki, I hurt her badly. I said all those terrible things to her," I replied, as Joey grabs my hand, holding it in his own. "I was so mean and cruel to her... and she didn't deserve any of it! I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for the way I treated her."
"Why the change of heart ma?" He asks, his eyes locked on me like he was burning holes into my skin.
"He treated her so badly. He talked to her like she was trash. Every word out of his mouth was so rude and hateful. What am I going to do?" I ask him as he looks at me for a moment and then drapes his arm across my shoulder.
"Ma I tried to tell you he was lying. He treated her like crap and tried on many occasions to kill her. If it wasn't for JT he would have succeeded the last time," he replied gently, hugging me.
"What actually happened? I want to know all the stuff he did," I say to him, shaking my head, not wanting to believe that the young man I took into my home, my heart was the evil man that everyone was telling me he was, but the proof was in those ten minutes he spent terrorizing Nikki.
"Ma I don't think we have that much time to talk about everything he's done," he says, as I start crying in his arms.
"Where did I go wrong with him? I did everything the books said. I showed him the love I thought he needed. Why? Why is he like this?" I ask him.
"I don't know ma. I don't have those answers," he replied, frowning at me.
"So what Nikki says about him loving you, she was telling the truth?" I ask him, not really wanting to hear the answer.
"Yeah ma, it's true. Mike has a strange obsession with wanting to be with me sexually," he replied softly, looking away from me.
"Don't look away from me like that. Why can't you look at me son?" I ask him. "Is it because of the way I acted towards her earlier?"
"A little bit. I love her and I always will. It hurt me when you said all those nasty things to her," he replied, still not looking at me.
"There's something more to that Joe. Talk to me son. Why are you..." I ask him as he gets up quickly.
"You don't love me Ma," he says, tears escaping his eyes that he tries to hide it from me.
"What? Are you out of your ever-loving mind? Son of course I love you." I tell him, walking over to him and hugging him.
"Really? It doesn't feel like you love me," he retorted, pulling away from me. "How am I supposed to know if you love me or not Ma? All you ever did was beat on Steve and me. You never beat Michael like that."
"I...I know Joe. I know I did wrong by you and Steve. I was only..." I say as he pulls away from me again.
"No Ma! I know what you're gonna say! That's not love and it never will be!" he says, sitting back down, covering his eyes.
"Joe please listen...I...I was young and I was only...I was wrong Joe," I tell him as he sniffles and looks at me. "I was wrong. I never should have done the things I did to you and Steve."
"It's too late now ma. Look at me! Look at me ma! Was I supposed to turn out like this?" He asks me as I look at him curiously.
"Turn out like what son?" I ask him, not understanding what he means.
"Turn out like this," he replies, standing up in front of me. "Turn out to be a guy that can't make up his mind about what he wants. Ma because of you, I...I don't know how to trust my heart."
"Son..." I start to say, but he interrupts me.
"No Ma, you need to listen to me now," he says, crossing his arms over his chest. "I love Nikki with all of my being. I have always loved her, but I couldn't stay with her because I felt like I had to get away from you. All I ever did was run from person to person Ma. Because of you...because of you, I got myself into situations I shouldn't have been in, all because I was running. For the first time in I don't know how long, I feel love. It's not because of you, it's not Janine, Steve and it sure isn't Mike. It's because of Nikki. For a long time I thought that love was abusive and painful. She taught me that love doesn't have to hurt."
"Son I didn't..." I start again as he holds up his hand.
"No ma, I'm not done," he says, holding up a hand to silence me. "Did you know that after I left home, I got involved with a man that use to beat me and treat me just as bad as you used to treat me? I got involved with him thinking that he loved me, but he only used the love I had to cause me more hurt and pain. Because of you, I thought what he was doing to me was love. That man used and abused me for a long time and it took Nikki and Josh to get me away from him."
"Oh my, God son...I'm so..." I say, my tears coming faster now.
I didn't know what to say to all I was hearing. I had no idea that I was this terrible to my children. Oh God please forgive me for all I have done. I ran all my children away and ruined their lives. How can I ever face them again?
"And what about your precious angel Michael? Why didn't you believe us Ma? We all told you that he was bad, and we told you he was evil. Why didn't you believe us?" He asks me. "When Janine told you that he was touching her, why didn't you believe her? What reason did she have to lie on him?"
"None... none at all," I say, as I blow my nose in my handkerchief.
"Why didn't you see this ma? Why didn't you see all the things he was doing? Did you ever know that he use to go into Steve's room at night and beat him up in his sleep? Did you know that he used to steal money from Pa to go score drugs? Did you?" He asks me as I look at him in shock; not knowing any of this stuff was really going on.
"I guess I didn't want to see son. Can you...can you ever forgive me?" I ask him, opening my arms, hoping he would accept me, but he turned away from me.
"No ma, no! I can't forgive you...not right now. You have hurt too many people that I love. You've hurt me, Steve, Josh and Nikki. I love them! I love them and you treated them like trash you just throw away. How can you call yourself my mother and do us that way?" He asks me, his words biting at my very soul.
"Joseph please...please don't say those things. I was a young mother. I thought I had to do those things to keep you all in line," I tell him. "That's how I was brought up..."
"Yeah I guess that's just history repeating itself," he says angrily, walking away. "I still love you Ma, but I'm ashamed to call you my mother. I can't, no I won't forgive you now. You have to show me, show all the people you've hurt some kind of remorse. Until then, I just can't do it."
"Jo...Joseph please...I'm so sorreeeee." I say, falling to my knees in the waiting room, crying as the doors swung back and forth as he walks out of the room... and possibly out of my life for good.
// A Few Hours Later... Hotel Soffitel //
Joey got back to the hotel and headed straight for the room Nikki and Howie were using, wanting, no needing to make sure she was okay. He had a pretty good idea of some of the things Michael had said to her, and based on how shaken she was when she'd come downstairs, he knew she would be needing him and Howie to stay with her that night. He knocked on their door, turning the knob and entering when Howie called out for him to come in.
"How is she?" he asked softly, not wanting to disturb her while she slept. Howie put Joshua down, kissing the baby tenderly before going to face his father.
"She's sleeping for right now... but I don't know how long this is gonna last," Howie replied, sitting on the bed next to his wife. "I got a feeling that the dreams will be bad tonight."
"What dreams?" Joey asked, concerned for the woman sleeping peacefully on the bed. Howie sat up, patting the spot next to him on the bed. Joey made himself comfortable, waiting patiently for Howie to explain.
"Joe, she still has nightmares about Michael," he replied, his hand resting on her shoulder. "Most nights she sleeps perfectly well, but then outta nowhere BAM! She wakes up screaming, begging him not to hurt her anymore. All I can do is hold her and try to make her safe... but it doesn't always help."
"Oh God D... this is my fault!" Joey said softly, his eyes sad. "I knew he was beating her, but I couldn't convince her to leave him. I even offered to bring her to my house in Orlando, but she flat out refused. She told me not to worry about her... that she would be okay. The next time I saw her, she was in intensive care because Michael had done that," indicating the jagged scar barely visible under her nightgown, "to her back. I shoulda made her leave him!"
"Joe, you know as well as I do how stubborn my wife is," Howie said, smiling at his friend. "Even if you'd gotten her out, chances are she just would have gone back, because she truly loved him."
"No I didn't," Nikki said softly, looking up at the two of them.
"You're awake," Joey said, kissing her lightly on the cheek. Her eyes were still glazed, but she seemed almost normal. "Are you okay?"
"No... but maybe one day I will be," she replied sleepily. She looked at Joey, and then Howie, her smile gentle. "I never really loved Michel Tony. I only stayed with him because I thought you didn't want me... and I didn't think I deserved better than him. And being with Michael was the only thing that kept me close to you."
"I'm so sorry Nikki," Joey said, kissing her again. "If you had never met me, none of this would have happened to you."
"But I wouldn't have JC and CJ either," Nikki retorted. "Everything happens for a reason Anthony. I'll get through this, and we'll go on with our lives just as soon as we get our boy back. So no more blaming yourself for what that asshole did. It was no more your fault than it was Mama Phyllis'." She yawned widely, stretching as she did. "Where did you go earlier?"
"I finally talked to Ma and told her how I felt," Joey replied. "And for the first time in a long time, I think she really listened. And I think she finally opened her eyes about just how fucked up Mike really is."
"Only cause she saw it with her own eyes," Howie said bitterly, lying down beside his wife. "If she hadn't seen just how fucked up Michael treats Nikki for herself, she would have spent the rest of her life hating my wife for no reason."
"No more anger Sweet D," Nikki said, her voice faint. Soon she had drifted back to sleep, held secure in Howie's arms. Joey suddenly felt uncomfortable, like he was intruding on them, so he got up to leave, but Howie's hand on his arm stopped him.
"You don't have to leave Joe," he stated, his eyes shining oddly. "I think she'd want you here too. So stay with us."
Joey nodded, stripping down to his underwear and climbing on the bed on the other side of Nikki's soundly sleeping form. He cuddled into her, his arm wrapping around her and Howie, as he got comfortable. He turned the lamp on low, casting a warm glow over the three of them as they tried to find some kind of peace in each other's arms.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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