My phone buzzes--it's a text message from Julien. "I have to work late again tonight."
Inwardly, I sigh. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Although things between us were improving, I was still having a hard time adjusting to our new normal.
Lately, Julien has had to "work late" more and more often. He lets me know that he won't be coming home at the usual time; in practice, he returns long after I've already gone to bed. He doesn't say it outright, but I know it means that he's going to see someone else.
Initially, I was hesitant about the concept. How could my partner be devoted to me if he was with someone--anyone--else? But, he told me that this was a logical solution. As a man, he has biological needs that must be met. A man needs stimulation and excitement and novelty. A man needs to spread his seed. He has a lot of needs, and I'm just one person, and I alone can't satisfy him, so this was a reasonable decision.
My partner loves me. I'm sure of it. I'm the one he's chosen to be with. If he needs something extra on the side to keep him sated, isn't it my duty as his partner to consent? After all, I want him to be happy.
It's screwing with my head.
He doesn't tell me what he does. He doesn't tell me who he's with. Even when I ask, he chooses not to divulge. It's probably for the better; I think knowing the truth would make me too jealous. Instead, I'm forced to guess, my imagination runs wild, and I come to my own conclusions.
In my head, I imagine he leaves work early to meet up with a boy. The boy takes Julien back to his place and into his bedroom, where he gets on his knees to service Julien's cock. After he's opened his throat, lubricating Julien's cock with his saliva, he gets onto his bed and opens his legs. Then, Julien mounts him, pounds him into his own bed without mercy, and, when he can't take anymore, inseminates him. That's when Julien finally achieves the release he needs. Later, when he comes home to me, I have no idea what he's just done. He pretends that everything's normal. If I smell a different scent on his skin, perhaps someone else's cologne, I wouldn't know for certain, and he doesn't tell me.
Just the idea of it drives me crazy. I want so desperately to know.
My phone buzzes again. It's another message from him. "Don't wait up."
The last time he came home late, I was still awake. I waited by the front door until he returned. When he saw me, he asked why I was still up. I told him I couldn't sleep. Julien's not stupid; he knows when I'm upset. He also knows why.
He set his things aside and approached me. He pushed me against the wall, set his lips against my ears, and asked me, "Do you want to know?"
I did. I didn't care if it killed me.
"I met up with your old roommate, Nick."
Just those words gave me goosebumps. I had my suspicions about the two of them all those months ago, but neither of them admitted anything afterwards.
"We went to a bar and got a couple of drinks." As he spoke, he reached down and undid my pants. "As we drank, I remembered the last time I saw him--you were there too, remember?"
Was he about to tell me what really happened that day?
"I told him I remembered thinking he looked pretty fit, and he said he couldn't keep his eyes off of me all night." He slid a hand into my underwear. "I knew it," he whispered, "you're hard."
I closed my eyes. I tried to ignore the effect he was having on my body. I just wanted him to keep talking.
"I told him the rest of the night was kind of a blur since I drank so much." Julien closed his fingers around my stiffening erection. "He said he could help me remember, if I wanted."
My pulse began to race.
"I said, sure, I'd love for him to fill in the gaps for me. So, he said he'd show me in his car." My eyes were still closed. I could feel the fabric of my pants against my ankles. Slowly, Julien stroked my hard-on. "We left the bar. I followed him to his car and got into his backseat." Julien's hand sped up. I was so, so hard.
"You didn't tell me Nick was so...talented with his mouth," Julien smirked.
Fuck. Julien, ever the tease, was edging me, figuratively and literally. He swiped his thumb across my slit, playing with the pre-cum I'd already leaked.
"Do you want me to tell you what he said?"
My eyes still closed, I nodded.
"He said, at his party that night, he saw me going into the restroom alone, so he followed me." I was already starting to get close, but I wanted to hear the full story. "He said he waited for me to finish washing up before he made his move. I was drunk and easy, apparently."
My mind was starting to spin. I knew it. I knew something had happened between them, I knew I wasn't imagining it, but I just didn't have any proof. Until now. At the same time, my brain was distracted. I was getting close, and for that reason my brain was alight with all the endorphins anticipating an orgasm.
"He pulled me into one of the stalls and made out with me. He stuck his hand down my pants and jerked my cock. Then, finally, when I was rock hard, he got on his knees and swallowed me down his throat." Julien's hand was dripping with my pre-cum now. I could feel the pressure building within my groin. "He has no gag reflex, by the way."
I groaned, frustrated. I knew I couldn't trust Nick, but...I was close, and I wanted to cum. I wanted some relief of my own, too.
"We could hear guys coming in and out of the bathroom, and he sucked my cock right there without anyone knowing what we were doing."
"I'm..." I mumbled. I was so close.
"He was so good with his throat, I couldn't have lasted more than ten minutes. He pushed me over the edge; I blew my load down his throat."
Julien pumped my erection, bringing me closer and closer to the brink. Then, when I was about to crest--
He let go. My body spasmed, but nothing really came out, and the promised endorphins didn't materialize; my orgasm was ruined.
Julien grinned.
"Do you want to know what we were doing in his car as he refreshed my memory?"