DISCLAIMER **********
This story contains sexual acts between teenage boys. If this is not to your liking, then leave. Simple. If you are UNDER the age of consent for state / country / planet and all laws effective there, please leave now. Of course, I was underage when I started it, so that's pretty odd, don't you think?
I wrote this story. I would be very appreciative if it wasn't changed in any way. You may post it to newsgroups, give it to friends, use it to line a birdcage, as long as I am accredited as the author and you do not charge for doing so. Thanks.
The story is an odd mix of fact and fiction, inasmuch as I exist, the people in this story exist (names have been changed), but these events have not taken place outside my hormone charged imagination. This is not a story about sex. It is a love story with sexual elements in it. The sex takes a while to get to, so be patient. If you are just looking for something to jerk off to, you should probably move on.
If you like this story, mail me at JDThoreau@hotmail.com. If you don't like it, mail me anyway and tell me what's wrong with it. Praise will be appreciated, flames will be ignored. Enjoy!
To Matt-For both the inspiration for this story and his constant support throughout the development of it. Not only that, but this time for rescuing it from certain oblivion. Thanks, bro. I love you.
Chapter 7
I awoke feeling better than I could ever remember feeling. Everything seemed changed. The world was so much purer, so...good. I lied in my bed with a huge grin on my face. I was in love! And I was loved in return! Oh, what a wonderful world! I laughed for no reason and got up. While taking my shower, there was a song in my throat. I don't know, I just felt so silly. It was what I would imagine being drunk is like. I was giddy, high on life. I went to school that day happily. I stepped out of my house and let the cold air into my lungs, letting the chill flow through my veins. Never before could I remember feeling so happy to be alive. On the way to first period, I was finally able to get ahold of myself and settle down. I was stuck in the euphoria of the previous night's events. I was so happy, but there was something deeper than this elation. I felt a surge of warmth through my body as I realized I was finally in love. I had always wondered what it would be like. Now I knew.
Biology was especially boring that day, and I hurried to English quicker than usual. I went to Mrs. Estes and she smiled at me. She saw the look on my face and said, "Jeff! You look so excited! What's up?"
I leaned close to her. "Guess what?"
"I have no clue. What?"
I whispered. "I'm in love!"
She squealed under her breath. "That's wonderful! With who?"
"It's Kevin, I'll have to tell you about it later!"
Her eyes got wide. "You'd better!"
Class was about to begin so I went to my seat. Kevin walked in a minute later. His face split into a huge grin and he hurried to his seat. For some reason, we didn't say anything to each other for awhile. One of us would look over at the other, almost shyly, sharing this huge, wonderful secret. The rest of the world was missing so much, I thought. This was just so incredible. Finally, I said to Kevin under my breath, "So, have a good night?"
He chuckled. "I guess so. As well as could be expected."
"Oh, why is that?"
"You weren't there."
The grin on my face just widened. I looked up and saw Mrs. Estes glancing at us from her desk. I smiled at her and I swear, I had never seen her looking happier. The look on her face said it all. I was so touched by her love for me at that moment. She looked so happy just to see me happy. I got Kevin's attention and motioned him to look over at her. She favored him with a radiant smile and he blushed wildly. He looked over at me. "You told her?"
"How could I not?"
He threw his glance downward and gave a shy smile. Class began a few moments later and we didn't say anything else to each other the entire time. We walked out together, and before I went through the door I glanced back to see Mrs. Estes watching us yet again. She was smiling as she mouthed the words "after school." I stepped out with Kevin into the hallway and walked a little bit. Our next classes were far apart, so we had to split company. I knew he had tennis after school until about 4:30, so I said, "Call me when you get home?"
"You know I will."
"Okay. Until then."
I felt an incredible longing at that moment. It was as much physical as it was spiritual. I wanted to pull him close to me, I wanted to kiss him, to hold him. It was at that moment that I became truly aware of the implications of our love. It was forbidden, misunderstood. People wouldn't have given a thought to it if a guy and a girl did it, but if Kevin and I expressed it, it would carry horrible ramifications. I could see in his eyes that he felt it too, so we just shared a meaningful glance and walked away from each other. The novelty of what I was feeling had lost it's shine, reality had tarnished it. I tried not to dwell on it, I just waited for the day to end.
I came to Mrs. Estes's class as I had done almost countless times before. She motioned me inside quickly and shut the door. We took our places and she was bubbling with enthusiasm. She looked at me expectantly and said, "Well? Tell me what's going on!"
I recounted to her the previous night's events, feeling better with every word. When I got to the part where Kevin and I had kissed, she literally clutched her chest and swooned. She closed her eyes and exclaimed, "Ah! That's incredible!"
When I was finally through, she leaned back in her chair and sighed. "Oh, young love! Isn't it wonderful? It reminds me of when Pat and I were first starting to date," she said, referring to her husband.
She leaned forward and gave me a big hug. "Jeff, I'm so happy for you! I'm so happy you have found someone to love! Oh, he sounds wonderful. I wish I knew him better."
I enjoyed her warmth for a moment then sat back. "You know, you're being really cool about this. Most people wouldn't be taking this so casually. People don't tend to look on gay love with so much tolerance."
"And why not? Who cares? It's love!"
"Still, I'm kind of worried. I didn't really start thinking about this until today, but this could mean some problems. I'm certainly not ready to declare this to the world."
Her face lost some of it's enthusiasm. "Jeff, no one said this was going to be easy. It's certainly not. Not many people will be willing to accept it, but you must remember what I have always told you. Do you remember?"
I nodded, she went on. "The people who love you are going to continue loving you no matter what. It's a fact. This path is going to have many hardships, many pitfalls, but the important thing is that you are in love. And love is the most important thing in the world."
I knew she was right. That made me feel a little bit better. Everything carries with it a price. And if loving Kevin meant having to suffer a little, then so be it. It was worth it. I grabbed her in hug. "Thank you."
"Don't think anything of it." Her voice took on a lighter tone. "So, tell me more about this whole deal. Is it long term, or just a physical thing?"
I gasped at her and we started to laugh. We talked for a few minutes longer and I went home. I went immediately to my room and began my homework. Shortly after finishing it, the phone rang. I banged my shin in the hurry to answer it. "Hello?"
I was rewarded with the sound of Kevin's gentle voice. I sighed. It felt so good to hear it. "Hi, there."
"Hi. What's up?"
"Nothing much." (In case you have not noticed, teenage human beings are absolutely incapable of starting any conversation without an exchange of this type. Just one of the quirks of human nature.)
When we were finished with the greeting ritual, he asked me about how Mrs. Estes had reacted.
"Like I said, I told her before class. Then I went by after school and told her the whole story. She was so excited for us! You should have been there. She was almost glowing, I swear."
"Man, she sounds so cool. You two have such a great relationship. I wish I knew her like you know her."
"Well, you ought to come by after school with me sometime and get to know her better."
He seemed to be mulling this over. "Yeah, why not? Can't tomorrow though. Tennis goes pretty late."
We talked for a few minutes more, about nothing much in particular. I loved the sound of his voice. He had homework to do also, so he had to let me go. It seemed to me that academics were very important to Kevin. I knew how hard he worked at it. "Man, you always work so hard. Why don't you ever take it easy on yourself once in a while? You're going to give yourself an ulcer."
"I've got to do well. Do you think I want to live in this house one minute longer than I have to? I want to go to college. That means that I have to earn some scholarships."
I was kind of embarrassed by my cavalier attitude towards academics. I did well in school, but I never really worked at it. I understood how vital it was for Kevin do well. He was working very hard to make a future for himself, and the odds were stacked against him. He was only 16, but I was impressed by his mature attitude. My respect for him grew further.
I didn't want to get off, but I forced myself. "Well, will you call me later?"
"You know I will."
"Good."
He let a moment pass. "Hey, Jeff?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you, you know."
I smiled. "I love you, too, Kevin."
I let him go and watched TV for awhile. There was nothing really good on, so I just laid back on my bed and set my brain to stand-by. Eventually, I became disgusted with the television's mindless chatter, so I cut it off. Night had come, so I turned off my lights and enjoyed perfect darkness. It had been a long time since I had meditated, and I figured that now would be a good time.
Uncle Ray had taught me this technique. He had said that knowing how to fight was meaningless, unless one had the wisdom to control it. He said that meditation was a good way to think about things, and a great stress reliever. I drew myself up into the classic lotus position and cleared my mind of all thought. There were things that I needed to think about, and it's best to approach them with a clear mind. I let all of the tension flow from my body and attained a state of clarity. When I was able to think clearly, I thought of Kevin. The past few days carried with them some interesting ramifications and I needed to think them through.
I was in love with Kevin. There was no doubt about it. I loved everything about him. More importantly, Kevin loved me. I mulled this over. I was loved, truly loved. It was such a new thought. I know I had people in my life before who loved me, but this was different. I had revealed to Kevin my innermost self and he had embraced it. I felt so accepted. I relished in this feeling for a few moments longer and then thought about the other aspects of this situation. I opened my eyes and looked at a poster of the Chinese symbol yin-yang on my wall. Black and white, light and dark, right and wrong. The two opposites coming together to form everything. It symbolized the active and passive principles of the universe. Through their interaction all things come to be created and are dissolved. It's a very interesting philosophical construct. It often helps me in meditation.
There was a great deal of joy in my love for Kevin, but there was also sorrow. The world would not understand this. Even my parents would not understand this. If they found out I was in a gay relationship, they would kick my ass out in a hurry. The same thing applied with Kevin's parents. It seemed like we were two people going against the whole world. Still, there was joy in this too. Before, it had just been me against the world. Now I had someone to share it with.
I continued to think about what the world would think. Why did the world have to be this way? Why was it so intolerant? Kevin and I were not hurting anyone. Is it so wrong that we choose to love other men? It was love. Love was beautiful, wonderful, not something to be hated and feared. I knew that raging against fate was pointless, so I quickly capped my feelings of frustration. I brought up the image of my gorgeous new boyfriend's face in my mind. Just from memory, I could recall every single thing about it, every pore. I concentrated on Kevin's face and was at peace. I stayed in my trancelike state for a long time, until awakened by the phone.
I opened my eyes and picked it up. For the second time that day I was rewarded with Kevin's sweet voice. I softly murmured, "Hello."
"Hey, what are ya up to?"
"Nothing much."
"Something seems different about your voice. What are you so happy about?"
"Oh, I just realized that I am in love with the cutest, most wonderful guy on the planet."
He didn't even miss a beat. "Oh, really? What a coincidence! Me too!"
A couple of minutes later, we were actually arguing about who was luckier to have who. I know it sounds like the stupidest thing in the world, but we were serious. I eventually realized I was getting angry, so I said, "Okay, okay. Let's just say we're both lucky and leave it at that okay?"
"Fine."
I looked at the clock beside my bed and saw it was 9:30. Kevin and I continued our conversation, and when I looked at my clock again it was close to 11:00. It had only seemed like a few minutes. "Do you realize that we've been on the phone for an hour and a half?"
"Whoa. Really? It feels like about 20 minutes."
"I know. Hmmm...I guess that means we should be getting off."
I could almost hear him grinning as he said, "Really? How so?"
I laughed. "You are such a pervert!"
He tried to sound offended. "Hey, what can I say? You do things to me. It's your fault for being so damned cute."
I could feel myself blush. No one had ever talked about me like that before. I had never really considered myself desirable before, not in that way. A few minutes later, we exchanged I love you's and got off.
I lay in bed that night thinking about what Kevin had said. I was now thinking about the sexual aspects of our relationship. To tell you the truth, I hadn't given it much thought. I was really attracted to Kevin, but it was more his mind that I was in love with. I had wanted to get with Kevin when we had first met, but when I started falling in love with him, I hadn't given that topic much consideration. Now I had a boyfriend. We would have to deal with this issue. Did we want to have a sexual relationship? I mean, I wanted to have a sexual relationship. I just didn't know if Kevin wanted to or not, or if it was wise or not.
I didn't obsess over this. I went to sleep with Kevin's face in my mind that night and slept easily.
I was happy that the next day was Friday. When I walked into second period that day, I went directly to Mrs. Estes's desk. I had something that I wanted to ask her. She greeted me and said, "So what's the latest with the two lovebirds?"
I blushed. "Nothing much. Tell me something: you recall how yesterday you said that you wanted to get to know Kevin better?"
"Of course."
"Well, I was just wondering if you would be here after 4:30 today."
"Well, I was wasn't planning on it, but I suppose that I could be. Why do you ask?"
"Kevin doesn't get out of Tennis until after 4:30 and I wanted to bring him by and have you two get to know each other better. Seeing as how you are two of the most important people in my life, you know. I want you two to really meet. Are you sure it's no trouble?"
She smiled. "Not at all. See you then."
I took my seat and Kevin came in. He grinned at me and took his seat, right beside mine. "Hey, what are you doing after tennis today?"
"Nothing, I think. Why?"
"Mrs. Estes is staying late today. I thought you might want to drop by and we could all talk."
"Oh, well, okay. Sounds like that would be cool. From what you tell me, she's a great woman."
I nodded. "She is."
That day in English we finished T.S. Eliot. He was a very interesting man. Class ended and Kevin and I walked out together. As we were walking out, Mrs. Estes mouthed to me, "See you later." I smiled and Kevin and I walked out.
I suppose our route was becoming a bit of a routine. We'd walk and talk until we reached a certain stairwell. Then we'd look at each other for a moment, each of us knowing what the other wanted to do. We'd then go to our separate classes.
When school ended, I went to Mrs. Estes's class as usual. Kevin would still be another 45 minutes, so we talked like we normally do. At one point she asked me, "So...have you two been...intimate?
I looked at her suspiciously. "What do you mean?"
"I'm just asking. So, have you?"
"We've only been together for a couple of days now. Of course not!"
She started to smirk. "Don't get indignant with me. Don't pretend you've never thought about it."
Well, she was right. "I suppose I have. I don't know if our relationship should take that turn, you know? I don't know if that would be for the best. I mean, I want to. But I still don't know if that would be best."
"It's only natural to want to express your love in a physical manner. I'm not going to give a load of bull about how I know you are going to wait until you're married. I think that it's the smartest thing to do, but very few people ever do. I did when I was in high school, chances are you will too. The important thing is to be safe, be careful, and above all, make sure it's love first."
Mrs. Estes was the only adult I knew that actually made sense all of the time. "You're right. And if Kevin and I decide to do this, don't worry. It's truly love. But we haven't even talked about it."
We continued to talk about the usual nothing and everything until 4:30 rolled around. I started to get antsy. At 4:36, he walked through the door. He came in almost shyly. He set his gear down and walked over to us. "Um, hi. What's going on?"
Mrs. Estes and I looked at each other, then back at Kevin. I asked him, "What's the matter?"
He looked at his shoes. I hadn't seen him looking so insecure in ages. "Nothing."
Yeah, right. I was clueless. I had no idea why he was being so shy. Mrs. Estes leaned closer to me and said, "You know, Jeff, not everyone is as comfortable around me as you are. I'll bet the idea of someone, especially an adult, knowing he is gay is new to him."
I knew she was right. Kevin had lived the lie for 16 years. I was the first person he had told. And now, an adult who he didn't even know well knew about him. Not to mention, knew that he was in a relationship. I stood up and walked over to him. "So, going to give me a hug or are you just going to stand there all day."
His face turned red and he looked up at me. He hissed, "Jeff!"
I heard Mrs. Estes's voice from behind me. "Don't mind me, Kevin. Go ahead!"
I grabbed him, almost against his will, and embraced him. Slowly, I could feel his resolve breaking. Finally, he returned the embrace, and I let him go. He was still as red as a beet when I pulled out a chair and had him sit down. I took my own seat.
For the next few minutes, I saw Mrs. Estes work the very same magic that made her such an excellent teacher. I can't remember exactly what she said, but whatever it was, it had the desired effect. In just a couple of minutes, the color faded from Kevin's face. Soon after, he was actually smiling! She had put him at ease in less than 10 minutes. Eventually, they were talking with the same ease that she and I shared. It was remarkable. I added almost nothing to the conversation, just sat back and watched.
Before I knew it, the clock had hit 5:30. When I looked back at Mrs. Estes and Kevin, I saw he was looking at the clock too. He looked slightly ashamed. "Oh, I've kept you here too long. You'd better go."
Mrs. Estes and I shared a look and a smile. He sounded so much like I often did. She turned to him. "Don't worry about it."
Kevin turned to me. "We should go."
"Okay, okay. You can go, but let me say this." She stood up and took Kevin's hand. "I already knew that you were a very talented and hardworking young man. Now I know how much Jeff loves you, so that means you must be really someone special."
I saw him turn bright red and smile with that incredible sweetness that made me love him so. She swept him up in a big hug. Not wanting to be left out of the moment, I joined in. When we were finally able to disentangle our limbs, I saw Kevin was a little misty-eyed. That said a lot about him. I knew he was terribly insecure and given his homelife, who could blame him? I guess he'd never experienced any type of adult gratification before. I could tell that having talked with Mrs. Estes had meant a great deal to him. After she had left and we were standing alone in the empty hallway, he commented on it.
"My God, you were right! She is amazing," he said as we walked through the deserted corridor.
I smiled. "Yeah she is."
He took on a wicked grin. "And she's not the only one either."
Kevin stopped and placed his hand against my cheek. I leaned forward and placed my lips against his. After a long lingering kiss, I drew back. He smiled, "Mmmm....what was that for?"
"Just for being you."
He blushed. "Can't be anyone else."
We put our arms around each other and started walking through the deserted hallway. As we walked I asked him, "So, want to go grab a bite?"
"Yeah, but I haven't got any cash." He frowned. "I hate not having a job."
"Don't worry about it. I'll pay."
His frown became more pronounced. "I don't like the idea of you spending all your money on me."
I stopped walking. "First of all, I'm not spending all of my money on you. Second of all, even if I was, I could."
"I still don't like it."
"Well, that's too bad, because I love you. I'll do it if I want to." I gave him a quick kiss, darting my tongue into his mouth.
He licked his lips. "Mmmm...you have a beautiful taste."
"Glad you liked it, but it wasn't free, you know."
"Oh, no? What do I owe you?"
"Just one thing."
Kevin looked at me interestedly. "What's that?"
"You have to let me take you on a date."