The following story is fiction, based on the real life love affair of Roman Emperor Hadrian, and his boy lover Antinous. While much is known, many of the facts are debated by scholars. The relationship is thought to have begun sometime while Antinous was 11 or 12 years old. The affair continued to Antinous' death, sometime in his late teens or early twenties.
While reading this story, there are two basic beliefs you should keep in mind. One, that sex was sex. It didn't matter if it was with a male or female, as long as the Roman man was the one to penetrate the other. Second, the way a boy was viewed. At that time, a boy was seen as the equal of a man. He was just younger and less experienced. They were not viewed as being incompetent, as they are today.
In order to understand the story "My Hadrian" that follows, you should also understand the social customs of the time period in which it took place. Just as you can find wide variances with today's customs, there were many at that time also. The views expressed below, and in the story, were common for that time. This story is only the author's interpretation of the facts and customs of the times, and represents only one interpretation of those facts.
While Caesar Hadrian was a Roman Emperor, his education was Greek, and his life showed it's influence. Hadrian reigned from 117 AD to 138 AD, and is considered to have been one of Rome's five best Caesars.
Glossary:
Erastes:
A term designating the man in a relationship with a boy. In ancient Greek and Roman times, a boys teacher, mentor, and protector. The man that guided a boy to manhood. Usually the first in a boys life to show him love. An erastes was often a boy's sexual partner, but encompassing much more then just a lover. A mother or nurse could show a boy love, but not his father (see role of father). It was felt that would make a boy weak. Under the system of the time, it was felt only boys deserved the love of a man, as they were equal in every way to a man, except for age. Women were thought inferior to men, and undeserving of love. Sex with a women was for the most part, only to have a heir, and marriages were most often arraigned for political or economic reasons. A man often loved his eromenos more then he loved his wife, if he felt any love for his wife at all. For more information, see social customs below.
Eromenos:
The boy in a relationship with a man. The boy would leave the relationship when he became a young man, in his late teens or early twenties, once a boy had facial hair. Any male that remained an eromenos or preferred to be the submissive partner in a relationship, was seen as pathetic, and not a real man. As men develop beards and body hair at different ages, this could happen anytime, from around age 18 to 22 or later. The boy would then leave his erastes. He could then become an erastes, and take an eromenos to love. The relationship between an eromenos and his erastes was not seen as gay. It was just a normal part of growing up. (Author's note: I am aware some boys develop heavy beards much earlier. We are talking in general.)
Social Customs
Marriage:
Marriages were arraigned by the couple's fathers. Marriages were usually for political or economic reasons. Love was never a consideration, and is a new idea that has only been around a few hundred years.
Father's Role:
A good Greek or Roman father of the time, would be seen as an overbearing tyrant today. His role to his son, would best be described as an army Drill Sergeant. His duty was not only to provide for his son, but to prepare him to face the harsh realities of the time. Boys games were often brutal, and a good father was expected to be harsh with his son. It was the father's role to hone the survival skills in his son. To make him a winner. Love and compassion were thought to make a boy weak, and was not to come from his father. That was the role of a boy's erastes.
A fathers role went much farther. As long as a man's father was alive, he was under his father's rule. It didn't matter if the man was 19 or 50 years-old. His father had rule over his son's family as long as he was alive. Even to his great-great grandchildren. It was only upon his father's death, that a man became head of his own house.
When speaking of a father's rule, it goes much farther then just deciding who a son will or will not marry. The term "Paterfamilias" describes the head of the family. This was the father that was head of the family and could even put his wife or a child to death for a crime. This was the father who controlled the family and his son's family, etc. until he died. Then the son (who might already be 60 years old) became the Paterfamilias and had the absolute authority over the family. Just being a father didn't bestow the power, but by being the oldest living father in the father-son-grandson lineage. If you have your father's grandfather still living, stop and think about it. At that time, for you to rule your own house and family, your great-grandfather, your grandfather and your father must all be dead.
Adoption in the Ancient Roman Republic:
Adoption of a grown man by the Roman Emperors was common. If an Emperor selected a successor that wasn't already his son, he would adopt him, no matter what his age. (see father's role) Adoption was also common in order to have a person under their authority, and remove them from their father's. Sometimes used as a guardianship when a father with young children died.
Women in Ancient Rome and Greece:
Fathers played an even larger role in a woman's life. At birth, a baby was lain at the father's feet. If he elected to pick up the baby, it meant he was keeping it as his child. If he refused to pick up a girl baby, it was placed outside the door of the house. It either died, or was picked up by a slave dealer. A father was required by law to keep the first born girl. Any girls born later, he had his choice.
Women had to have a male guardian all their lives. When she married, her husband's father would sometimes become her guardian, but there were marriages in which her own father remained her guardian. If her husband, her husband's father, and her own father died, she would be adopted by her closest older male relative. Here again, age didn't matter.
It was believed women were inferior to men. They were educated until about age 12. They were usually married between ages 12 to 14, and may or may not have even seen the man they were marrying before they married.
Although they may not have had much education, and had been thought to be inferior, they were expected to maintain their husband's estates while he was off fighting a war. A husband might be gone for years, and his wife was expected to keep everything running smoothly.
Social Classes in the Roman Republic:
There were many different social classes in Ancient Rome. It was possible to move from a lower class to a higher and more privileged class. Of course, just as today, each class had sub- classes. Each class also had it's own set of privileges.
Senators - Government Officials with important jobs. The top class of Romans. Very rich with special privileges.
Rich Businessmen - called Equites. Usually family members of Senators.
Citizens - Tradesmen and farmers. They were free men, and had to serve in the army and pay taxes.
Freemen - Often former slaves that had been granted their freedom. Also tradesmen and farmers, but considered foreigners. They were not citizens of Rome, and did not have the same rights. They could serve in the army, but were not expected to pay taxes and could not vote. Most wanted to become citizens, and that was possible. Freemen aspired to wear the toga, that only Roman citizens could wear, as along with the toga came a citizen's rights.
Slaves - The majority of Rome. Slaves had no rights, except what their master granted. Many slaves were highly educated and were teachers and doctors. Most slaves were well treated, and were often granted their freedom by their masters. Some were very badly treated, and expected to die young from doing hard labor or dangerous work. It was totally up to their master. Slaves were used sexually by their masters. Both male and female slaves, of any age, were used by their male masters. Not to have used one's slave, would have caused a person's peers to wonder. About 60 percent of the people of the Roman Empire were slaves.
The author wishes to thank and acknowledge the help of Ronald Staley , in his efforts to keep the general tone of the story, historically accurate.
The author retains the copyright of this story. Placing this story on a web site without the authors permission is a violation of that copyright.
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