My Fair Lad - Part 11
A reimagining of My Fair Lady. Set in London, about now.
It tells the story of Chas, a rough edged lad, down on his luck and Mark a successful banker. Mark and his banker colleague Gerry make a bet that he can teach Chas to be a gentleman and be accepted into the banking profession. It all goes tits up for Mark and Chas goes back to his roots.
Chas is in Ramsgate plotting his future.
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Silver Spoons
The train is bang on time, its only takes 75 minutes From Ramsgate to London. I'm seeing Gerry.
I get a coffee and a microwaved bacon sandwich at the tiny counter in the buffet car. I remember to dispose of the nuclear hot tomato slices, before I attack it. All this `exercise' with Gav keeps me hungry.
My mind wanders to Gav, feeling him up this morning as I waited in the dark for the alarm to go off. His thick shaft comforting to hold and caress, feeling his balls rise, feeling him wake up and his you awake?' Greeting and him diving down for mine for a cuddle before he shouts, Turn that fucking alarm off', where he pounces out of bed and I watch as he tries to calm his 8 X 2 to pee.
I grin, I'm horny at the recollection. The trains bogs are just along the carriage, one of those large motorised circular door loos like something off Star Trek.
I manage to electronically open and lock the door. A posh blokes voice tells me, door locked'. Thank-you' I say, for some reason unknown.
I text Gav, he's in some empty office block all week wiring the toilets for LED lights. `U OK to Face time? and an aubergine'
I get a reply `let me lock the door', he says, his face appears on my phone, grinning at me, my cock leaps.
`Hurry up then, some of us are fucking working',
I put the phone on the narrow sink worktop, handily the gap just allows me to squeeze it in and line it up as the train rattles along.
Gavs picture goes as he rests his on a basin, I see Gav, a urinal and his ladders behind him.
We pull off our tops, and pinch our nips, sniff our armpits and lick them.
We both do a flex, for each other. Gav picks up a screwdriver and sucks the handle, sexily, then he pushes it at his hole, sliding it in, groaning.
`You dirty get' I say,
`wish it were you' he says quietly,
His dick is spewing precum. I shuffle closer to the camera and start to play with my cock, pulling the skin back and forth, handing my nuts.
`Hang on' says Gav who retrieves the screwdriver and shuffles forwards, his groin fills the screen,
We beat off together, stroke for stroke,
`I'm close', I say and Gav's face and his mouth open, his tongue sticking out ready to lap up my virtual load as I shoot my load into my cupped hand.
I kneel for Gav my mouth open wide, his splats fly past the phone, one hits his camera, covering half of the screen, dripping off, squirt after squirt, plume after plume, he steadies himself on the basin, his cream coloured spunk running down the bright white porcelain, slowly toward the drain.
`Oh fuck, thanks, that's set me up for the day', says Gav,
I hear a bang on Gavs door and the someone trying the handle,
`Breaktime Gav',
`Cheers Slomo',
`You knocking one out in there?',
`Fuck off',
shouts Gav and I hear Slomo shout,
`the lads horny today',
and the phone goes all wobbly and cuts off.
I wash my hands and make sure I'm tidy, my hair needs a cut, and I go back and sit down.
I'm wearing my black outfit, the one Mark bought in JD's, I'm feeling extra cool. I text Simon, he's got a slot at ten past nine. I don't want a £10 buzz cut like the barber in Rammo offered, but a bit of proper styling.
Simon is sashaying about like he does. He brightened when he saw me.
`Ooh you look fit, I'm loving the threads, that's your look nailed' he says in his camp Welsh accent, almost salivating.
`Thanks', I say chuffed, smiling at him through the mirror. He rubs his fingers through my hair, like I'm sucking his dick.
`Mmm needs a wash and styling and a blokes blow dry', he paused between blow and dry, smiling at me in the mirror. I just rolled my eyes.
He pushes my wheelie chair to the bowl,
`OK lean back',
`Do you mind if I take my shirt off, I'm in a meeting straight after and you know',
`Yes, good thinking, I've got a T shirt somewhere',
`No matter' I say as I peel my tracksuit top off.
Simon folds it and puts it with the towels, I'm laid back. He's staring at me, ogling is a better word, I'm laid out for him, like meat on a slab,
Simon laughs, `Oh Chas, you've got me all in a flutter now, still my beating heart' as he flaps his hands like a fan to cool himself down.
I looked over at his groin,
`It's not your beating heart I'm worried about',
`Cheeky, but accurate' he said.
Nothing more was said but we both enjoyed him washing my hair. I hope mine didn't show.
He cut it perfectly. Gingers are tough customers, the hair is so thick and such a prominent colour that every cut and wave shows.
He asked for a selfie, we stood in front of the mirror, I'm shirtless, my back reflected in the mirror, Simon at my side, I crunchrd my abs, he took the shot, his hand fell to my butt for a quick friendly squeeze.
My WhatsApp pinged. `I've sent it to you' he beamed.
I put my top on, Simon smoothed it down on my shoulders almost purring. I gave him the £50, he eschewed my tip, `I should be tipping you' he said.
I grab a coffee in Pret and relax with my phone, then on to Leicester Square. It's almost one. I see Gerry suited and booted, striding.
Charles', he calls, Good to see you', he says,
The doormen open the door for him and almost bow.
`First things first, let me get you a drink, Stella is your tipple I believe?',
I nod, he orders two Stella and swiftly pays on his card, he touches his nose with his finger, thanking me for the tip off.
We carry our drinks to a table,
`Secondly, here's your £10k', he passes me a cheque from his personal account.
`I wanted to start our relationship on good terms Charles, trust is so important in our line of work'.
`Gerry, that's a very noble gesture, and I thankyou for it, could I ask you to transfer electronically to me from your bank?',
He nodded. I emailed him the details and heard his phone ping.
`I'll do it right now Chas', He typed in and passed me his phone with the payee details,
`Yes, thats correct' I said,
He did the security and fraud prevention and I heard my phone ping.
He tore up the cheque.
`Now, to business, I'm assuming you'll be working from home?
I nodded,
`I've you to thank for getting me interested in physical trading again, dear boy, so I propose that I do the market dealing in town and you do all the on-line from home',
`Perfect' I say,
`I was thinking of a 50:50 formal partnership, via a two share limited company. I've registered the company as Morton and Mason (Metals) Ltd',
`Mmm 3M's, perfect again',
`So Charles, what scale of involvement are you envisaging? Is it to be your main source of income?'
I nod, `for now. Is it to be yours Gerry, what are you thinking mate?',
my London accent diminishing as I relax,
`Tell you what, I'll get another drink and order the food, and you can think it over. Steak and chips ok, medium rare, Stella or an Aussie red?' I say,
`I'll take a Stella please, er mate',
`Steady on Gerry' I laugh and he sees the joke,
I switch back to my `London' accent,
`I won't be long Gerry',
`That's better young man, decorum restored'
I bring the drinks,
`Gerry, you tell me how much we need as capital to invest',
`Chas, I'm in an enviable position that I know your worth, you told us all, £5.623 million, and that's part of why I'm here, we both have the required capital. You settled a claim of £1.3 million and you've committed about a million on warehousing, and if you're smart you'll put that as a business cost, safely away from tax. So probably a million of tax, leaving £2.3 million capital, shall we say £1m each?',
`Yes',
`Before you decide you need to find a good tax accountant to advise you on your position, I can give you details of my chap but it's best that you take independent advice. I'll email you a list of ones, but avoid the top 5, they get juniors to do the work and charge partners rates.',
`Look I'm happy with a million, really, so long as we draw any surplus made as dividends regularly so we can use them for other projects.
`I'm happy with that, Celia will be thrilled!',
`I'll let you know the exact cost of the warehouse, I'll send you the completion statement, and the company can own it, I'll transfer ownership to Morton and Mason once I've received your 50% stake',
`Oh you are sharp today. Actually, whilst that appears much simpler, cleaner and probably more tax efficient, I'd advise against that, it could be messy, very messy if we don't see eye to eye, if you get me. You are young, I am older, things can change rapidly in this business, and in young lives, let's keep it lean',
He looked at my body, my abs,
Yes the lean team' he chortled, My advice is for you to continue as you are, complete the purchase and bill the company handsomely for storage and overhead costs to cover your outgoings',
I agreed. Thinking about it. I really didn't want Gerry an Reg to meet, to be business neighbours, I'd be done for. Let's keep Gerry's interests in the city and mine in Ramsgate.
The steaks arrived, Gerry asked for English mustard and was told where they were kept, I got up and got the sachets for us both.
He tucked in and he said it was remarkable value, but could we meet somewhere closer to Paddington next time, he knows a place, he touched his nose again, in a wink wink fashion.
`Gerry, given what happened earlier how can I verify that my trading account is bonefide?'.
`Why not visit the LME and take some ID, a passport or drivers licence, they can find you on the system and no doubt extract your overdue membership fees. Here's your last bit of advice from old Father Time',
He stood as if addressing me in court,
`Young man, you have demonstrated an exceptional gift in trading. You need to gather gifted professionals around you now to advise you on tax and the law, in fact everything. I can be a sounding board but these are your decisions to make. I can't in honesty advise you further. It will cost but you don't expect to work for no remuneration and nor do they, so just view it as a cost to secure your future'.
`Gerry, thank-you', I stood. We shook hands,
`Can I have a selfie?'
He looked shocked,
`Not that sort!' I said,
`Well in that case, certainly. I'm not sure what Celia would have made of it', he chortled.
I took one on my phone outside with Leicester Square in the background and he passed me his phone.
`For Celia, to put a face to the name',
I handed him his phone and clapped him on the back.
`We're in business', I say and hug him. He responds hugging me back.
I look on my phone at the photo. It's a great photo of this ginger scally lad and a grey flannel suited city gent in a busy neon clad London Square.
I take the underground to Moorgate, I walk the block to LME and I get to see the members secretary, he's about 25 I'd guess, very plummy, but not standoffish, friendly, he found my details and checked my ID and confirmed that I could use my existing seal. I paid the (exorbitant) fees and left.
The talk of the seal reminded me of the black onyx cufflinks and the ring Mark gave me, somewhere in my bag along with the tie pin.
Now, I've got to get back to Gav in Rammo, we've a big day tomorrow.
I get the call from my solicitor that we had completed. I drove to Reg's for the keys.
The lad opens the door, `come in, Reg wants to see you',
`Reg, Chas is here', he says,
He comes in, gives me the `Reg hug' feeling up my cock,
`Ah reminds me of the good ol' days' he says,
The lads got his hands down his trackies,
`Now I've got a little present for you',
The lad peeled his trackies down, fuck it looked huge on him.
`I reckon that should settle our differences, I'll be about half an hour sorting the keys and alarm codes out',
It was very tempting, the lad turned and parted his cheeks,
Reg looked at me, watching the lad.
`What you waiting for, get your rocks off up there, I opened him up for you earlier',
Reg coughed and laughed, growling something up.
`Fuck off Reg. Just get me the keys and codes, I'll wait in the car',
The lad pulled up his trackies and sat watching the TV on silent.
After about 20 minutes the lad knocked on the car window and I opened it,
The lad passed over the keys in an envelope with codes written on.
`Reg says you might want a blow job instead?',
`No, tell Reg I said fuck off. It's not you lad, you've done nothing wrong, it's Reg, he used to do to me what he's doing to you, and it's wrong'.
I drove off angry.
Slomo drops Gav off at the unit. I was nervous, I hadn't seen it before, only that it was next door to Reg's place and looked the same size. I had looked at in on Google maps and read the agents guff, checked the access for flat bed steel delivery trucks and bought it. Due diligence.
`Fuck it's big place Chas', says Gav.
A security light came on as I opened the ground floor entrance reception. I typed in the code and the sounder stopped screaming.
The reception lead to a long breeze block corridor with doors off signed; men's changing, ladies changing, canteen, medical bay. I hadn't realised it was for built for food production.
I found the door marked Warehouse, I opened it Gav found the light switches. The florescent lights flickered on haphazardly, illuminating the empty space,
Fucking hell' we both exclaim, it's huge'.
It was, and cold too. 4 huge gas cowls brooded on the ceiling with the boilers fenced off underneath.
`You wanna get the lighting changed for LED fixtures and get infrared heating. You could run it all off solar panels and get your money back on a grant. Spanner's brother Dave does it, he's learning Spanno up',
`If you had your part 18 could you do it?',
`Fuck yeah, says Gav, I'd get Spanno and Slomo to help me out. Your brainbox could dig a grant application and sort out planning'.
`Great idea but first let's get you your part 18. Have you got any holidays left?',
`Er yeah, five or six days why?',
`Let's enroll you on a Part 18 residential course. I think you do it over 4 days.',
`Yeah, I'm for up for that, can you get a double room?',
`I doubt that, I'll bet you're sharing in a twins with some bloke',
`Oh fuck, that's knocking one out off the cards, I'll come back qualified and with blue balls!',
`Don't worry I'll help you unload them, you'll squirt enough to fill a bucket you will!'.
We switched off the lights and looked at the other rooms.
`I'd rip this plumbing out Chas, look it's got an old water heater tank, looks unsafe to me, they're nice big showers though, bigger than the hockey club showers and there's two,',
We looked at the ladies changing room,
'see they're a mirror, identical apart from the urinals, if you got those in you could have home and away, fuck just imagine 11 fit lads plus subs naked and showering. You could be the masseur, a towel wrappped around your waist giving treatments in here,
He opened the medical bay door and we looked in,
`look it's got its own toilet and a shower, space for a massage bench.
Last was the kitchen, `fuck its rank in here',
Gav was correct, the greasy carpet and old broken units and a filthy cooker and grimy cheap so called stainless steel sink.
`Now, here's the keys to our shag pad',
I opened the internal door and entered the alarm code to silence the wailing.
The lights flickered on, we looked in the lounge, with its old dining table and two chairs, the kitchen was ok, just old, the bedrooms need decorating, new carpets, there was an old double divan.
`Looks like someone's been kipping here, look there are empty Haribo's and Pringles tubes and a spunky sleeping bag',
I didn't say but I expect Reg has had lads kipping over in here.
`First job tomorrow is to arrange new locks and a new alarm system, get some cameras and security lighting in',
Gav texted Slomo. `He's having his tea but will come straight over',
`Great, does he know a plumber?'. Gav nodded.
Slomo sucked through his teeth, `lot of work here guvnor',
We walked the site, Slomo wrote it all down in his pad, neat handwriting, precise, took his time.
I reckon that's three weekends work. No vat being a guvvie, you buy the gear, we'll fit it cash in hand',
`Ah, I'd need an invoice for the books and the plumbing work doing',
Slomo pondered `Hey Gav, what's Spanno's brothers outfit called?',
`I've got his number',
`We'll call him tomorrow and arrange something, he can bill you for the lot then. He'll quote for solar and the security gear too, his missus does the solar planning applications as well, fast tracks them somehow,
He made the money signal with his fingers and laughed, saying `if you know what I mean', tapping his nose twice.
We locked up.
`Thirsty? Let's drop the motor off and call in at Monty's',
`Thanks lads but the ball and chain will be expecting me home', says Slomo.
`Ahh, that's better' says Gav supping half of his pint in one go. We're you serious about getting my part 18's',
`Yeah deadly, why?',
`Well between you and me, Slomo might be setting up on his own with Spanno and he asked if I'd be interested, with my part 18's I'd be in'.
`Let's do it', I said,
I searched on my phone,
`look there's an outfit in Crawley, a 5 day course £755, plus vat and exam fees. It's not residential so we can both stay in an hotel. I could work from the hotel. I'ts just over a month away, they've got 3 spaces left.',
I filled in the response form and sent it off.
Great' says Gav but don't tell Slomo yet in case I fail, hey I'd get Wednesday nights back and can start hockey training at Cliftonville again, Its only a five minute walk, I miss that, brilliant!',
`I could swim, I miss Marks posh pool'
`You should join the heath spa, moneybags'
He waved his empty glass and threw me the kitty,
I got them in, we were getting giddy,
`fuck I've not eaten, let's get a Chinese', we walked back and ate.
I slept soundly, Gav snoring at my side, perfect.
I met David at the unit. He's a professional, you could tell, tip top spotless pickup, logo fleece, big guy, looks strong, about 30 ish.
We walk the unit. He tells me what I need to do to remove the 1980's systems and bring it up to spec. Taking it all down, speaking into notes on his phone and it typing it all out. He's ok with using weekend labour but hints that with a large job such as this he can manage it far better using his weekday contractors.
He says he'll contact planning to see if we need a full application for solar but looking around lots of places have them. His plumber, Stan will call and specify the showers and changing rooms and the kitchen units. David said he'll quote for a basic decoration and industrial carpets for all areas.
'Tell me if I'm speaking out of turn but might you like some help with your living accommodation?'
I nod,
`My sister in law, Rachel has an interior design company who could do the flat out, kitchen, en-suite bathrooms, tiling, heating, lighting, decorating, furniture, she'll even fill the fridge and put flowers on the table, looks like you and Gav could do with the feminine touch, and you'll be too busy for all those frilly decisions'.
Fuck, nothing stays secret does it. Maybe it's Jackie at the cafe?
`Thanks David, that's a good contact, please ask her to call me, but I insist you keep our private arrangements private' I said sternly reverting to my London mode
`Of course, I didn't mean to speak out of turn guv',
`You haven't David, you assessed the situation and sought to help, I'm grateful and will certainly take you up on your excellent idea, it needs a professional eye',
`Do you know a locksmith and alarm company?'
`I do, as it happens, they're glaziers too. I noticed the window frames are a bit old in the flat and you've a pane or two out in the changing rooms. I'd suite the internal locks and deadlock the outer doors. You need an internet connected combined alarm and security monitoring system. I'll call them now, they're only up the road'.
David waited for the lock guys and described the job, showing them the broken panes and windows in the flat, they discussed where the cameras needed to be, David is acting as project manager already. I was impressed.
`So Chas, Rachel will call you and look at the spaces, she'll draw up plans and create mood boards for you to select from, and suggest furniture. When you've confirmed, I'll include those costs in the master schedule of warehouse lighting, heating plant and plumbing covering the storage, changing areas and offices.
We shook, as we left he paused and looked at the state of the concrete and tarmac surfaces,
`Chas, for steel delivery you'll need to replace this old tarmac, a heavy lorry will just chew it up, it's had it mate',
`Yeah, I see what you mean',
`Now would be a good time to install in ground thermal heat pumps and then put the new surface on top, it would save you thousands in heating and you'd probably become net zero and attract grants for the work. It could heat the flat as well, nice and cosy, I'll can look into it if you're interested.
`Thanks David, who isn't interested in saving money, please look at the feasibility and add it as a costed option,
`Will do guv'nor', the pecking order reestablished.
My head was spinning. Trading is much easier.
TBC