My Everything

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I'm back with another chapter of "My Everything."

Thanks for all of your support! Without it, I don't think I could have written this story for this long.

Now on with the story.

First of all, let me just say that this is my first time writing any kind of fiction like this.

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of total fiction and is not meant to imply anything about the sexualities of Nick and Drew Lachey or anyone else mentioned in this story.

If you are too young to read this, or if Homosexuality offends you, then please don't continue any further and leave.

NEWSFLASH: To those of you who don't already know, Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, in real life, have reconciled and are now husband and wife. I wish them all the best with their marriage and hope they live a long and happy life together.

If you want details about their wedding, check out the 98 Degrees Official Website at www.98degrees.com.

Other 98 Degrees stories I'd like to recommend are.

"Give Me Just One Night" by Unanoche. "69 with Jeff Timmons" by Zachary Scott Pritt "Nick Lachey" by Ken. "98 Degrees Is Hot" by Gay Night "The Reunion" by RinSong. "Loving Nick Lachey" by Jordan "Playing Doctor with 98 Degrees" by Brian "This Gift" by Sprout

and finally:

"What I feel for you" by Thack.

"What I feel for you." is an awesome story and Thack, himself deserves applause for all of his hard work on it.

Now, I"ll let you get on with the story.

Enjoy.

Previously on "My Everything".....

I'm going to go and look in on our daughter." Nick said, kissing Jessica on the cheek.

"Alright, honey." She said. "I'll be in in a minute."

Nick then walked into the living room to go and spend time with his little girl.

Jessica then turned to the rest of the guys.

"Listen guys." She said, lowly so Nick couldn't hear them. "I don't want Nick to know about what Drew did." She said. "He can never find out about it. That's the way it has to be."

"But, Jessica." Drew whispered. "Sean told me...."

"NEVER MIND WHAT SEAN TOLD YOU!" She whispered, fiercely. "What Nick and Sean had is over and I don't think that what you did needs to be brought to light now. It's in the past and that's where it should stay."

"I can't believe this." Jeff said. "You're asking us all to lie to Nick about what happened? Jessica, we can't do that."

"He's right, Jessica." Drew said. "What if Nick asks me about Sean? He already knows that I did something because Sean told him, he beat me up. What am I supposed to tell him?"

"Don't worry about Nick." Jessica tried to reassure them. "I'll handle my husband."

Jessica looked around at Kandi, Justin, Danny, Jeff, and Drew and she could see that they did not like being put in the position to lie to Nick.

"I don't like this, Jessica." Drew said. "I don't think lying to Nick is the answer. In my opinion, it'll only make things worse for your marriage."

Jessica sighed in frustration and turned away.

"Jessica, come on." Danny said, shaking his head. "Nick has to know about this."

Jessica looked up past them and her eyes widened.

Danny, Jeff, Drew, Justin, and Kandi, all turned around and saw Nick standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

"I need to know about what?" He asked.

*********** CHAPTER 64 ***********

BACK IN ORLANDO..........

"What the hell?" I grumbled, as I awoke to the sound of knocking. Someone was knocking on my door.

I looked at the clock on the bedside table across from me. it read 4:15 a.m.

"Who the hell could that be, at 4:15 in the morning?" I asked, as I crawled out of bed and got up to answer the door.

I flicked on the light, which blinded me, temporarily, since my eyes had to adjust to the light. I went to the door and opened it.

I made out Nick's form, standing in the doorway.

"Nick?" I asked in shock. "What are you doing here? And at this hour?"

He didn't say anything. And as I looked at him, closely, I saw that his eyes were red and puffy. He looked like he'd been crying.

I was right. As soon as he saw me, I saw his lower lip start quivering, which meant he was ready to cry again. And I had the feeling that I knew what was wrong.

"Oh god, Nick." I whispered, as I looked into his face. "You know, don't you? You know about what Drew did to us?"

Nick nodded, as he wrapped his arms around me and broke down, crying, in my arms.

I knew how badly he was hurting because I felt the same way when I'd found out the truth about how our marriage had been sabotaged. And who had sabotaged it.

"Nick, I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you." I said, as I ran my hands, up and down his back, to comfort him.

"I wanted to. God, I wanted to, but at the same time, I didn't want to be selfish and only end up thinking about myself. As mad as I was at Drew, I didn't feel that he deserved to lose your friendship."

Nick pulled back from our hug and looked at me. His face was streaked with tears and his nose was beginning to run.

"Come on in, buddy." I said, putting me arm around him, as he came inside. "Go and sit on the couch over here and grab yourself some kleenex, right there on the side table."

Nick went over to the couch and sat down on the right side. He reached over and grabbed the kleenex box off of the table that I'd pointed at and started blowing his nose.

I looked down at myself and saw that I was still in my underwear and I felt a little self-conscious at that moment and decided to go cover up.

"Give me a second to make myself look decent and I'll be right back, Nick." I said.

He didn't say anything, but nodded instead. I took that as my cue to head to my room.

When I got there, I started looking around for my bathrobe. I ended up finding it, in my closet and put it on.

As I was tying the waistband of my robe, I felt Nick's hands come down on my shoulders, which startled me.

"Nick!" I gasped. "Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Sorry." He said, as I turned around. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Those, were the first words he'd said since he'd gotten here.

"It's ok." I said, recovering quickly. "I was just getting decent."

I looked at Nick and saw a weird look on his face. I wasn't sure what it meant.

"What is it, Nick?" I asked him. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Nick took a few steps closer and brought his hand to my face, stroking my cheek gently with his thumb.

I brought my hand up to his and caressed it gently, never breaking contact with his eyes. Then, it happened.

Nick leaned in and his lips met mine. His arms then went around my midsection as he pulled me in closer to him. He hugged me tightly, while continuing to kiss me, with a fiery passion.

I put my arms around his neck, as my hands explored his body. I ran them up and down his back as our make out session started to intensify.

Before, it could go any further, I pulled back, roughly, breathing hard.

"Nick." I panted. "We can't do this."

Nick frowned, as he gazed at me. I could see that he was disappointed that I'd stopped our intense make out session.

"Why not?" He asked, sounding hurt. "Don't you want me?"

I was shocked to hear him ask that. It wasn't that I didn't want him. It was that I did. But I knew that I couldn't be with him. He was still a married man and I wasn't about to make things worse for him and Jessica, if they weren't already.

"Nick, you know I want you." I told him. "I want you so bad, I can taste it."

"Well, then come and get me." Nick said, as he leaned into me again and started kissing my neck. I knew that if he kept kissing me the way he was, that I was going to cave eventually.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" I asked, as I gently pushed him back.

"What?" He asked, confused.

I lifted his right hand and held it up to him, as I fingered his wedding band.

"You're married to Jessica." I stated, bluntly. "Plus, you have a little girl to take care of now. That should be your number one priority."

"I don't want to talk about Jessica right now." Nick said, as he started to kiss me near my earlobes. "Right now, all I want is you."

Before, Nick could kiss me again, I pushed him away again, giving him a concerned look.

"Nick, this isn't what you want." I tried to tell him. "You need to be back home with your wife and daughter. Not to mention, the rest of the guys. I'm sure they're all worried about you right now."

"Fuck them." Nick muttered, as he let go of me and walked over to my window. "They all lied to me."

He gazed outside, as he listened to the sound of the waves crashing against the shore.

"Nick, they didn't lie to you." I told him, trying to help him understand. "They just didn't feel that it was their place to tell you something so mind-blowing. You had to hear it from Drew. It was his secret, not theirs."

"It became their secret the moment that Drew told them about it." Nick said, bitterly. "Besides, they all tried to keep it from me, including my own wife."

"I can certainly understand why Jessica would try to keep it from you." I said, nodding. "She didn't want to lose you. She loves you. And you love her."

Nick turned around and looked at me, again. I saw that the burning desire was still within his eyes.

He then walked over to me and stood, just in front of me.

"It's true." He said. "I do love her."

I looked down at the floor when I heard that. It did hurt me to hear him say that he loved Jessica, considering the way I still felt about him. But I wasn't prepared for what came next.

"But, my future isn't with her." Nick said, suddenly.

I looked up at him, in complete surprise.

"What?" I asked, frowning in confusion. "What are you saying, Nick?"

Nick cupped my face, and I noticed that he was starting to smile.

"I love you." He said, in a low voice. "And when the time is right, I want you to marry me, once again."

My pulse was racing! I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Nick was finally saying the words that I'd wanted to hear for a long time.

"You do?" I asked, my eyes wide, in amazement. It sounded to good to be true.

"I don't believe this." I said, shaking my head. "I don't believe that I'm hearing this."

"You are hearing it." Nick said, letting me know how serious he was. "And all you need to say is "yes."

I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I'd never felt so happy in my entire life. I was finally going to have it all again!

"Oh, Nicholas, Yes!" I gushed out, as the tears started running down my face. "Yes, of course I'll marry you."

I saw Nick's face break into a huge smile.

"I love you. I've never stopped loving you." I said, as I hugged him so tight.

Then Nick put his hand behind my head and kissed me once again.

Finally, I was going to be happy again!

"Mmmm, Nick." I mumbled as I opened my eyes. When I did, I sat up, abruptly and looked around.

The sun was shining through the window, letting me know that it was morning. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost ten.

I also noticed that I was alone in bed. I realized then that I'd only been dreaming.

"It was all a dream." I said to myself. "Sean, you really need to get a grip, man."

I got up out of bed and walked into the bathroom to start my morning with a shower. But first, I wanted to soak in the bathtub for awhile.

I turned on the water, setting it to the right temperature and then allowing it to fill the tub.

While the bathtub filled up, I walked into the laundry room and undressed, throwing my undershirt and underwear into the hamper to be washed later.

I then re-entered the bathroom and checked the water level. It was already about half full.

I grabbed a washcloth and soap and got into the tub. I put the soap and cloth aside and lie back into the tub.

As I lie there, with my eyes open, enjoying the feeling of the warm water against my tired body, I wondered how things were going back at Nick's house in Los Angeles.

Then, I remembered the time difference and realized that their day hadn't even started yet. They were probably all still in bed. After all, it was only seven o' clock in the morning back there.

"Well," I started to say, as I remembered something. "I do know at least two people who might be up by now."

******************************************************* BACK IN LOS ANGELES.......

JEFF AND DANNY'S ROOM.....

Jeff awoke to the morning sun, coming in the window. He turned towards Danny, who was lying in bed, next to him. Jeff couldn't help staring at Danny, as he watched him sleep.

Danny was so sexy. His short black hair was a bit messed up. His baby blues were shut and he had a small smile playing across his full lips.

"He must be having a good dream." Jeff thought, smiling. "I just hope it's about me."

Jeff's eyes traveled down to Danny's torso, which was uncovered. Danny's chest was so perfect. And so were his abs. They were chiseled and outlined perfectly.

Jeff lifted a hand and set it down on Danny's abs. He started running his hand up and down them.

Jeff looked down further and his smile broke into a huge grin.

"Well, what do you know?" He thought. "My sexy stud is definitely awake in other places. Maybe I should give him something to wake up to."

Jeff slid out of bed, slowly, careful not to wake up Danny and crept over to the door, which he snicked shut and turned the lock on it.

He then got back into bed with Danny and pulled down the covers, exposing Danny's morning wood.

In one swife move, Jeff took in all seven inches of Danny's manhood. He started sucking and bobbing up and down on Danny's member like a pro. But then again, why wouldn't he be good at it? He had two years of practice.

Jeff heard a soft moan come from Danny. He looked up and saw Danny starting to awaken. He kept at it, making love to Danny's dick.

"Oh god, baby." Jeff heard Danny whisper. He knew right then that Danny was awake. "That feels so good."

Jeff stopped sucking Danny dick and took it out of his mouth. Danny looked disappointed.

"Why did you stop?" He asked Jeff. "You were doing great."

"I know." Jeff said, nodding. "I just didn't want you to have an orgasm this way. I want you to make love to me, inside of me."

Danny smiled, as his hand came up to caress Jeff's cheek. He was loving Jeff more and more as time went on.

Especially the way Jeff took care of him. He assisted to his every need. When he was wanting to make love, Jeff was always ready and never too tired to do so, unless of course they were on tour.

When Danny was feeling down and depressed, Jeff was always there to offer him comfort and to let him know he would always be there for him, and vice versa. They both had had a wonderful relationship over the past two years, despite everything that had happened with Sean.

"It would be my pleasure." Danny whispered, as Jeff slid up closer to him on the bed.

Jeff leaned in and kissed Danny, passionately. letting his hands explore Danny's body as he continued to please his lover.

Jeff then shifted and got on top of Danny, as Danny ran his hands down Jeff's back and further down until they rested on Jeff's hot, muscular ass. He squeezed both glutes in his hands.

"You just keep getting sexier all the time, baby." Danny said, running his hand up and down Jeff's ass. "You've got the most perfect ass of any man I've ever seen. It's no wonder I fell for you."

The look on Jeff's face was priceless. His smile broke and his face took on an expression of total shock. But of course he was just pretending.

"And here I was, thinking that you'd fallen for me and my wholesome good looks." Jeff said, mocking hurt. "And here you tell me, it's all about my ass?"

"Oh come on, Jeffy poo." Danny said, in a childlike voice. " I was just kidding. You know I love you for more than your ass. That's just an added bonus."

Jeff gave Danny a disgusted look, when Danny gave him that pet name.

"Jeffy poo?" Jeff asked, at he looked at Danny. "Baby, I can do without that one. Besides, if you call me that again, I just might have to spank you."

"Oh, really?" Danny said, waggling his eyebrows. "That could be fun."

"Don't tempt me." Jeff laughed, as he leaned in to kiss Danny again.

"Damn, I want you." Danny panted, as Jeff hit each of his hot spots, one after the other, with his lips, as he kissed down Danny's body.

"Well then, let's get started, cutie." Jeff said, getting up off of Danny.

He reached into the dresser drawer and pulled out some lube and a condom. He handed the condom to Danny, while he opened the lube.

Danny put on the condom and unrolled it down his dick. He was ready.

Jeff squeezed some lube out into his hand and he started to saturate Danny's condomed dick with it. Once it was slippery enough, he positioned Danny's dick at his hole.

"You ready, Danny?" Jeff asked him. Danny looked up at him and nodded.

"As ready as I'll ever be, Jeff." Danny whispered softly. "Go."

"Alright, here I go." Jeff said, as he slowly lowered himself onto Danny's hard shaft. He hissed in pain as Danny's head entered his hole.

"Jeff, are you ok?" Danny said, looking panic-stricken. "If it hurts that bad, let me pull out of you."

"No, baby." Jeff said, in between breaths. "It's ok. Just let me get used to it. It's been awhile since I was the bottom in our relationship."

Danny remembered that. Jeff didn't particularly like to bottom, so he was usually always the top in their relationship. Danny, on the other hand, loved being the bottom. Having Jeff's dick ramming into him felt like heaven to him.

"Ok, I think I'm alright now." Jeff said, as his expression softened a little. Then he moaned in pleasure.

"Oh my god." Jeff said, with a groan, as Danny's dick raked against his prostate gland. "I forgot just how good this could feel."

"Now you know how I feel when I'm in your position, baby." Danny grinned, as he started thrusting in an out of Jeff, as Jeff lifted himself up and down in time to match Danny thrusts.

Danny then reached up and pulled Jeff's head down towards him and started kissing Jeff ferociously.

As they kissed, Danny put his arms around Jeff's waist and rolled over with him, until Jeff was on the bottom this time. He then pinned Jeff's arms to the mattress.

"Yeah, baby." Jeff swooned, as Danny kissed him and continued to make love to him.

Jeff was in heaven. He had never felt so loved more than he did right at this moment. He and Danny were connecting more and more as each day went by.

"Fuck me harder, baby." Jeff said, as he started to reach climax.

******************************************************* NICK AND JESSICA'S ROOM................

"Do you know just how much I love you, at this very moment?" Jessica asked, as she snuggled close to Nick.

They had both been awake for awhile. Especially since they had just finished making love a few minutes ago.

"Of course I do, babe." Nick said, with a silly grin on his face. "You just showed me a few minutes ago. I think you wore me out."

"Oh, please." Jessica giggled. "You? worn out? I don't think so, baby. Besides, if I remember correctly, it was you who wanted to make love, remember?"

"Yes, I remember." Nick said, with a laugh. "And you weren't exactly complaining, were you?"

"Oh, no way." Jessica smiled. "You always know how to please me."

"But it's such hard work, baby." Nick said, teasing her. She gently slapped him, in the abdomen, causing him to start laughing.

"Hey!" She said, pouting. "You're one to talk. My mouth is so tired and sore from having to suck you off all the time."

Nick just grinned at her. He just loved teasing her too much.

"Well, excuse me, princess." Nick laughed, holding up his right hand and showing her three fingers. "But I can barely talk because I have a sore tongue and three tired, stiff fingers from having to 'please' you, as you so graciously put it. So, no complaining, ok?"

When he finished, they were both laughing at each other. Then Nick sat up.

"Well, babe, I'm going to get into the shower now." He said, then turned to look at her, with a grin. "You wanna join me?"

"Now, baby." Jessica said, sweetly. "You know I'd love that, but if I do, we'll never get cleaned up. Besides, I have to be here, in case Nicole wakes up.

"Ok." Nick said, as he got out of bed, totally naked and walked towards the bathroom. Jessica whistled when she caught sight of his ass.

"You've got such a cute ass." Jessica giggled, blushing crimson. "I just can't understand why that's the only place that's hairy."

"Neither can I." Nick laughed. "It's the only place I got any. I don't have any on my chest, arms, or back."

"I like you just the way you are." Jessica said, as she sat up in bed.

"Yeah, whatever." Nick laughed, as he disappeared into the bathroom.

Jessica got out of bed and started putting on her underwear and bra, so she was somewhat decent, in case someone happened to walk by her room.

But as she listened, she could hear Nick singing in the shower. Then, she had an idea.

She slipped back out of her attire and snuck into the bathroom. She could make out Nick's naked form through the shower glass door.

She walked up to it and pulled it open, startling Nick.

"Jess!" Nick gasped. "You scared the shit out of me!"

"Sorry, baby." Jessica said, with a grin. "It was getting lonely out here, so I thought I come in and join you after all."

Nick grinned, widely.

"Well, in that case, come on in." He said, extending a hand out to her. She took it and he helped her step into the tub.

Once she was in, she got under the shower head and wet her hair. Then she put her arms around her hubby.

"Well, now that I'm here," She whispered seductively. "What do we do now?"

"I'll think of something." Nick said, then leaned in and planted a nice kiss on her lips.

"Well, I'm liking it so far." Jessica said, moaning a bit as Nick hands explored her curvy physique.

Nick pulled back from the kiss and looked back at her, the desire obvious in his eyes.

"What do you say?" He asked her. "Are you up for another round of love making?"

Jessica nodded. That was all the answer Nick needed.

He leaned into her again and started kissing her, aggressively, yet gently.

She ran her hands down his back and squeezed his ass as she came in contact with it.

"Oh, baby." Jessica moaned. "That feels so awesome!"

MEANWHILE, DOWNSTAIRS IN THE KITCHEN............

Drew was downstairs, drinking coffee to wake up a bit more. He had not gotten that much sleep last night. All he could was think about what he did to Nick and Sean. That, along with the fact that he had to tell Nick that he was the reason that their marriage was never legal.

"How could I have been so stupid?" Drew asked himself, as he sipped his coffee. "How could I have been so wrapped up in myself and what I wanted that I lost sight of what was really important?: My brother's happiness."

Tears came to Drew's eyes, as he tried to think of the best way to break it to his brother that he'd betrayed him. But as he did, he realized that there wasn't going to be any easy way for that. Nick was going to be devastated anyway, no matter how Drew broke the news to him.

"I love Nick more than anything." Drew continued. "And yet, I have hurt him in the worst way and he doesn't even know it yet."

He set his coffee down and started pacing around the living room.

"What am I gonna tell him?" He rambled. "How am I gonna tell him? Oh god! Oh, god! I can't do this!"

Drew was so intensely involved with his thoughts that he didn't hear anyone come into the room.

"You can't do what, Drew?"

Drew whipped around and came face to face with Justin, who was standing in the doorway, looking at him with an annoyed expression on his face. Kandi was behind him, and she shared the same look. They were both angry with Drew for putting them in the position to have to keep Drew's secret to themselves and not tell Nick about it.

Drew gripped his hair with his fingers, in frustration.

"I can't tell Nick the truth." He said, in desperation. "If I do that, my relationship with him will be finished. He will never forgive me and I will lose him forever."

Drew started pacing again, but stopped momentarily, and turned back around to face Justin and Kandi.

"Nick isn't just my brother." Drew said, as he sat down on the couch. "He's my best friend. He has been there for me through good times and in bad, and I can't lose him." And now that you two, as well as the rest of the guys, probably hate me now, he's all I've got."

Drew couldn't go on anymore and broke down, crying. He buried his face into his hands. Great sobs racked his body, as he let it all out.

Justin and Kandi just stood there, watching him. They both were still angry with him, but they both knew how much Nick did mean to him and they couldn't help feeling a bit sorry for him.

"Well," Kandi started, as she wiped away a tear that had started to fall down her face. "You should have thought of that before you went and wrecked your brother's life."

Her words only hurt Drew more, causing him to feel even more worse than he already did. He continued sobbing, but didn't look up.

"Drew, maybe it won't be as bad as you think." Justin said. "Maybe it won't matter to Nick. Things have changed. Nick has moved on with his life. He's chosen to be with Jessica. Even if he doesn't take it well, he'll come to realize that he and Sean couldn't be together anyway."

Hearing that, Drew lifted his head and looked up at Justin, in surprise. He was a mess, with his reddened face and tearstains on his cheeks.

"How do you figure that?" He asked Justin, his voice cracking.

Justin walked over and sat beside Drew, but didn't offer him any form of comfort. Kandi sat next to Justin, also.

"Nick can't be with Sean unless he divorces Jessica, which I don't think he would do." Justin told him. "First of all, he loves his daughter and he would do anything for that sweet little angel. And Jessica."

Drew shook his head.

"That doesn't mean that Nick would stay with Jessica, out of obligation, Justin." Drew said. "If he wants to be with Sean, after he learns the truth, he will be with him."

"Not as long as I'm married to him, he won't." A familiar voice rang out.

Drew, Justin, and Kandi turned and saw Jessica, standing in the living room doorway, looking at them.

"Jessica?" Drew asked, in shock. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to know that you're still debating whether or not Nick needs to know about what you did to him and Sean." She said. "I still think it'd be better if you didn't tell him."

Justin and Kandi looked at Jessica in shock. They were not sure that was a good idea. Then they all started looking around.

"Where's Nick?" Drew asked Jessica, hoping that Nick wasn't anywhere in earshot, where he could hear their conversation.

"He's upstairs, making a phone call." She said, not smiling.

"To who?" Drew wanted to know.

Jessica looked at him, with a look that told him all he needed to know. He didn't even have to ask who Nick was calling.

******************************************************* BACK IN ORLANDO, AT THE BEACH APARTMENT..........

That soak in the tub had felt really good. I was getting dressed and ready to start my day.

As I was pulling on my shirt, I heard the phone ring. I went over to answer it.

"Hello?" I asked. There was a slight silence on the line.

"Hey, it's me."

My heart skipped a beat when I heard Nick's voice.

"Nick? Hi." I said, happy to hear from him. "How does it feel being back home again?"

"It's great." Nick said, sounding like he was in a good mood. "Is this a good time? I hope I'm not calling too early."

"Oh no, it's fine, Nick." I told him, assuring him that it was alright. "I've been up for awhile now. What's up?"

"I just wanted to touch base." Nick said. "I wanted to let you know that I got home safely and that I was thinking about you this morning."

I felt tears come to my eyes when he said that. I didn't realize that he still cared so much about me.

"That's sweet of you to say, Nick." I said to him. "I was thinking about you too. Are you and Jessica doing alright?"

"Oh, yeah." Nick said, sounding really happy. "Things are great with us. We are back together in every sense of the word and let me tell you, absence does make the heart grow fonder. I found that out last night.

I knew exactly what he was talking about. I could obviously hear it in his voice. He had made love to his wife last night. No wonder he sounded like he was in a good mood.

I wiped at a tear that was starting to run down my cheek, as I processed this information.

"I hope you realize just how lucky you are, Nick." I told him.

"I do, Sean." Nick said. "Every moment that I'm with Jessica, I'm loving her, more and more, everyday."

My heart sank. I was glad Nick was happy, but at the same time, I couldn't help but feel a little jealous. After all, considering how I still felt about him, it hurt to know that he was happy with someone else. But I knew that he had made his choice and I had to try to learn to accept it.

"Good. I'm glad." I said, as I tried to keep from losing control of my emotions. "I'm glad you're finally happy. That's all I've ever wanted for you, you know that, don't you?"

"Yes, I do." Nick said.

He was silent for a moment. Then I heard him again.

"Sean, are you alright?" He asked me. "You sound kind of.....sad."

He was right. I was sad. But he had no idea what was really bothering me, and I couldn't tell him what I was feeling. I didn't want to cause anymore trouble for him.

"I'm alright, Nick." I said, lying a bit. "I just miss you and the rest of the guys right now, that's all."

"Well, if that's the case, why don't you come out to Los Angeles next weekend and hang out with us?" He asked me.

I thought about that and didn't think it was such a bad idea. After all, it was only a week away and it would give me enough time to sort out my feelings before I left.

"I'll see what I can do." I said, then added. "But I can't gaurantee anything. I may have to work."

"That's ok." Nick said. "Just let me know what your plans are and we'll take it from there."

"Ok, Nick." I said, nodding. "I'll do that.

I then thought of something and frowned.

"By the way, Nick," I said. "How did you get my phone number? I don't remember giving it to you, or any of the rest of the guys."

"You didn't." Nick said. "I saw it written on the clipboard on the refridgerator at your house. I also have your cellphone number as well."

"Nick, why didn't you just ask me for them?" I asked him. I would have given them to you."

"I'm sorry, Sean." He apologized. "I guess I was still a little unsure about whether or not, you'd forgiven me for everything that had happened between us all those years ago."

"You know I have." I said to him, adamantely. "I can't say I'm not mad at you for just helping yourself to those numbers, but I'm not going to make a big deal out of it now. I was going to give them to you anyway."

"You were?" Nick asked. "When?"

"The next time I saw you again." I said. "But of course I didn't know when that would be, but now since you want me to come out to Los Angeles next weekend, you actually saved me the trouble, so I forgive you."

"Thanks." Nick said, then wondered something. "Why did you have those numbers on a clipboard on your refridgerator anyway?"

I took a moment to think about that. When I had come to live out in Orlando, Florida, I'd had a hard time remembering my phone number, which was also the same for my cell phone number as well.

The numbers were both the same, except the area code was different. But of course Nick and the others wouldn't have known that.

"Well, when I first moved out here, I had a hard time remembering my numbers, because of the area code change. It wasn't 212 anymore, or 323 when I was out there, so it was a little difficult to keep them straight." I told him, as I recalled everything I'd been through back then.

"But, also, I kept them up there, so any of my friends here, who needed to get ahold of me knew where to find me."

"Oh." Nick said. "I guess that's as good a reason as any to have them on a clipboard, on the refridgerator of all places."

I had to laugh a little at how corny that sounded. I think Nick realized that too, because he started laughing a little too.

"Nicholas Scott Lachey, what am I going to do with you?" I said, shaking my head, grinning a silly lovesick grin. "Have I told you how good it feels to have you back in my life again?"

"Actually, no." Nick said. "But, now that you've admitted it, the feeling is mutual."

"I'm glad we're friends again." I said to him.

"So am I." Nick agreed. "Even though our relationship is over, it doesn't mean that I don't still care about you, because I do. I always will. I hope you never forget that."

Nick's words were starting to get to me and I knew that I couldn't hold out for much longer.

"I won't, Nick." I told him. "And I hope you never forget....

I stopped myself, realizing what I was about to say, knowing that it couldn't be made known.

"I never forget what?" Nick said, but I didn't answer him right away. "Sean, are you there?"

I snapped back to reality.

"Yeah, Nick, I'm here." I said. "What I meant was, I hope that you never forget that I still care about you too."

"Thanks, that's good to know." He said, then I heard him sigh.

"Well, I've gotta go, now." He said, souding disappointed. "I've got to get ready for breakfast and then the guys and I are headed to the recording studio, later."

"Ok, then, I'll let you go." I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "Goodbye, Nick."

"Goodbye, Sean." He said. "Take care."

Then, the line went dead. I hung up the phone and sat back on the couch, as I put a hand to my face, trying to calme down.

I got up and walked into my bedroom and went to one of my dressers. I opened the bottom drawer and dug through all of it's contents, until I found it.

I pulled it out and looked at it: It was our picture. The one of Nick and I together, right after our wedding ceremony.

I ran my fingers over Nick's face, in the photograph and remembered what I was going to say to him on the phone earlier, but wasn't able to.

"I hope you never forget how much I still love you." I whispered, hugging the picture frame close. "How much I will always love you."

I kissed Nick's image, as the tears started flowing, and then put the picture back in the drawer and covered it up again, so nobody would see it, and shut the drawer.

Right then and there, the emotions hit me like a ton of bricks. I collapsed on my bed and started to cry, which I hated myself, for doing.

"I can't be doing this." I sobbed. "I can't be crying like a big baby. I'm a grown man, who's changed during these two years. I'm not supposed to be this emotional anymore."

Yet, I knew that when you were in love with someone you knew you couldn't have, it still hurt and it could break down, even the strongest of men.

I got up and headed into the kitchen, where I opened the refridgerator and got out some orange juice. I set it on the table.

Then, I reached into the liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of vodka. I also set that on the table next to the orange juice. I then grabbed a glass from the cabinet above and set it down, next to everything else.

I opened the vodka and poured some into the glass. Then I opened the orange juice and poured some of it in as well, mixing the contents together.

I put away the vodka and the orange juice and sat down at the table, with the glass in my hand.

All I could do was stare at the glass, tempted to want to drink it, but at the same time I was paralyzed.

The pain finally won out, and as I raised the glass to my lips, I heard someone knock at the door.

"Great." I muttered. "Just what I need right now."

I walked over to the door and opened it. I was shocked to see Jake standing there.

"Jake?" I asked, with a look of shock on my face. "Aren't you supposed to be in class?"

"Uh, no." Jake said, giving me a weird look. "This is my free day, remember?"

I then remembered that he didn't have classes today.

"May I come in?" He asked, still looking at me with that look.

"Oh, right." I said, stepping aside for him to enter. Once he was in, I shut the door.

"Can I offer you something to drink? Orange juice? Iced tea?"

When, I turned around, I saw Jake, with my glass in his hand, as he started to chug it down.

"NO!" I yelled out, in shock, knowing that he was going to get one hell of a surprise.

Just as I yelled out, Jake started to cough and sputter.

"What the hell?" He said, in between coughs. "What the hell did you put in this? Fire?"

I couldn't help it. I just had to laugh at the expression on his face.

"Well, if you hadn't been rude enough to invite yourself to start drinking MY orange juice before I could tell you that, you wouldn't be choking right now." I said, still giggling some.

"Sorry." Jake said, when he'd finally stopped coughing and caught his breath. "I was thirsty. We're out of orange juice at my place."

I just looked at him and started laughing again.

"Since you asked, that orange juice is spiked." I said.

"No shit, Sherlock." Jake said, laying on the sarcasm thick. "Like I couldn't figure that out."

He then gave me a concerned look.

"Why were you spiking your orange juice? You never drink. Is there something bothering you?" He asked, obviously surprised that I would spike anything that I drink.

"Well," I said, as I walked over to him. "Actually, I was drinking a mixture of vodka and orange juice that you just now had. I was just about to start drinking myself into oblivion to numb the pain that I'm going through right now."

Jake frowned as he came over to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

"What are you talking about?" He asked me. "What's wrong?"

I couldn't answer him right away. As I looked at him, I saw realization flash into his expression at that moment and wondered what he was thinking.

"What is it, Jake? I asked. "You look like you're remembering something?"

"Yeah." He said. "I was remembering the other night when you said a man was here with you that night? Did he do something to you?"

"Oh, no no, Jake." I reassured him. "Didn't you talk to Michelle? She saw him leave yesterday morning."

"No, I haven't." Jake said. "She was asleep when I got in last night and she's not up yet this morning. What does she know that I don't?"

I got ready to give him the news that I knew would knock his socks off.

"The man who was here with me last night, was Nick Lachey, of 98 Degrees."

Jake eyes widened. "You mean, HE was spending the night with you last night?"

"Not like you're thinking." I said, giving him a look that was telling him to keep his mind out of the gutter.

"Who says I was thinking 'that?" Jake said. "my mind doesn't work the way your sick one does."

I rolled my eyes, and then decided that I was going to tell him about Nick. But first I had to make him promise me that he would keep it to himself.

"Listen, Jake," I started to say. "If I tell you something personal about Nick, will you promise me you won't tell anyone else?"

"Sure." Jake said. "You know you can tell me anything."

I then decided to lay it on him.

"Do you remember when I told you about the man I was involved with, whose name was Nick?"

Jake nodded. I continued.

"Well, not only is Nick Lachey my good friend, but he's also the same Nick that I was once married too. He's my ex-husband.

Jake's jaw dropped, in shock.

"You mean, your Nick and Nick Lachey are one and the same?" He asked, surprised. "And Nick Lachey is gay?"

"Actually, he's Bisexual." I said. "He's married to Jessica Simpson right now and is very happy right now."

Jake still had that dumbfounded look on his face, but I brought him back to his senses real quick.

"Alright, Jake." I said, giving him the most serious look that I could. "If you tell anyone else anything of what I've told you so far, I swear I will hunt you down and beat you senseless!"

"Oh no, no, no, no, no no." Jake said, raising his hands in the air, laughing a bit. "I'll never tell a soul. Honest."

"Good." I said, patting his arm. "I'm glad we got that settled."

I went over and sat on the couch and grabbed the television remote to see what was on.

"So, Sean, now that I know that Nick was your ex-husband, is he the reason you were going to drink?"

"Well, yes and no." I said, as I flipped through the channels, looking for something to watch.

"What does that mean?" He asked, as he took a seat on the couch beside me and propped his feet up on the coffee table.

I, in turn, gave him a look of disgust. He got the message and removed his feet from my coffee table right away.

I told Jake about how Nick and I had reconnected the other night and how we had both come to the decision that our relationship was over. I then told him abou how I kissed Nick for the last time that night and then he had left in the morning.

"Wow." Jake said. "It sounds like it was pretty intense. Did you two leave things on good terms?"

"Yes." I said, nodding my head. "But ever since that kiss, I haven't been able to put it out of my mind."

Jake looked like he wanted to ask me something, but wasn't sure he should.

"If you have something you want to ask me buddy, go ahead." I said, reading his look right.

"I'm not sure I should." He said, looking at me, cautiously. "I could be out of line."

"You won't be." I said to him. "You can ask me anything. If you're out of line, I'll let you know."

"Alright, here it is." Jake said.

He hesitated a moment. Then, summoning up his courage, he asked it:

"You're in love with him again, aren't you?" He said. "That's why you are in so much pain, and that's why you were going to drink. Isn't it?

Once again, the emotions came in a flood. Jake had hit the nail on the head.

I'm right, aren't I?" He asked, as he noticed that I was about to fall apart.

"Yes." I whispered, as I got up and started to pace the room. "I didn't realize it until we kissed for the last time and we managed to bring closure to our relationship. Nick is over me."

"But you're not over him." Jake said, standing up and coming towards me.

"I thought I was." I said, as I started sobbing. "But once he kissed me, I realized that I never really stopped loving him, even through all of that pain and bitterness, somewhere beneath all of that, I still loved him."

Jake then pulled me to him and hugged me, trying to offer me comfort. He wasn't usually the hugging type, but he could see that I needed some type of comfort right now.

"But now, I'm having dreams about him." I said, crying, as I clung to Jake. "I'm having dreams about being back with him again, and when I wake up back into reality, I realize just how lonely I really am and how much I miss being with him."

"I know." Jake said, in a low voice. "But you've got to stop torturing yourself like this, man? You need to move on with your life. I just want to see you happy again."

I knew what Jake was saying made sense, but try telling that to my wounded heart.

"I know what you're saying, Jake." I sobbed. "But it's easier said, than done, because my heart won't leave him behind. My heart won't let him go. I love him so much and yet I can never tell him that. Never."

I couldn't continue and sobbed into Jake's shoulder. He just held me and told me that everything was going to be alright, while I got it all out of my system.

After I was finished, I pulled back from Jake and gave him a weak smile.

"Thanks." I said, wiping my tears away. "I needed that."

"No, problem." Jake said. "Would you like me to stay here for a while and hang out with you?"

I looked up at him and smiled at him.

"I'd like that, buddy." I said to him. "With you here, maybe that will keep me from drinking."

Jake turned and looked at the glass on the table, which contained the vodka and orange juice.

"Speaking of drinking." He said, as he walked over to the kitchen table.

He grabbed the glass and poured it's contents into the sink and ran the faucet to flush it down and clean the sink of it's remnants.

"That takes care of that." Jake says. "I hope I never taste anything like that again."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Well, you wouldn't have if you hadn't helped yourself to it, without asking me first." I laughed.

"Touche." He said, laughing too. "Next time, I'll try to control my thirst urges."

"And your manly ones too." I said, giggling. I couldn't resist throwing that one out there.

"Excuse me?" He asked, with a grin. "I think you need more help with that than I do."

I just grinned at Jake. Somehow, I knew that today was going to be a good day.

To Be Continued........?

Well, that takes care of this installment. Stay tuned for more, coming soon.

"Will Sean face his feelings for Nick? Or will he turn to alcohol to hide his pain? If that happens, will he become dependent on it?

"Will Drew find the courage and strength to tell his brother the truth? Will Nick forgive him?

"What happens next? Oh, if you only knew!"

Stay tuned.

slpwriter@yahoo.com