Hey all, I'm back and ready to write again. It's been such a long time, I've had to re-read the story to try to remember what my next plot was going to be.
Now on with the story.
First of all, let me just say that this is my first time writing any kind of fiction like this.
DISCLAIMER: This is a work of total fiction and is not meant to imply anything about the sexualities of Nick and Drew Lachey or anyone else mentioned in this story.
If you are too young to read this, or if Homosexuality offends you, then please don't continue any further and leave.
Other 98 Degrees stories I'd like to recommend are.
"Give Me Just One Night" by Unanoche. "69 with Jeff Timmons" by Zachary Scott Pritt "Nick Lachey" by Ken. "98 Degrees Is Hot" by Gay Night "The Reunion" by RinSong. "Loving Nick Lachey" by Jordan
and finally: "This Gift" by Sprout
Now, I"ll let you get on with the story.
Enjoy.
Previously on "My Everything".....
"Just know this, Nick." I told him. "I'm not giving up on us. Do you hear me? No way. Because I love you too much!"
Nick looked down to the floor.
"Look, Sean, I would love nothing more than to get past this."
Here, he looked up into my eyes.
"But I don't know if it's possible. Not the way I feel now."
I looked away, not wanting to look in his eyes again. I knew that if I did, I would break down.
"I know that isn't what you want to hear, Sean, but that's the way it is." He said.
I walked past him and picked up my suitcase and opened the door, ready to step out. But not before I looked back at Nick for the last time.
I set my suitcase down and walked back over to Nick and kissed him with everything I had, as two tears ran down my face.
After a few seconds, Nick returned it, just as passionately. But we were broke apart way too soon, as my emotions were starting to get the better of me. I was about to break down at any moment.
"I will wait for you as long as it takes, Nick." I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "I hope that once you've had time to really think about what you're doing, you'll come to realize that this is not what you want. And when you do, I'll be waiting for you!"
I picked up my suitcase and looked at Nick one last time.
"You are my everything!"
Those were my last words before I walked out that door and shut it behind me.
I walked out to the car and threw my suitcase in the back of my SUV, and hopped into the driver's seat.
I started the engine and drove off, sobbing the entire time, knowing that things would never be the same again.
"I'm never going to stop loving you, Nick." I sobbed to myself. "I will love you until the day I die."
********** CHAPTER 47 **********
TWO YEARS LATER..................
Alot can happen in two years.
Ever since that devastating day two years ago when Nick and the rest of the guys threw me out of their lives, I was never the same since.
I had moved to Orlando, Florida and was living in a beach apartent right on the beach there. But nobody that I used to know, knew where I was living now. I'd made sure of that.
I had been so full of anger, pain, and resentment that once I'd found a new place to stay, I made sure that my home number was unlisted and that nobody that I knew would be able to find me. I'd also changed my cellphone number as well.
No one from 98 degrees called me during the time I was on the road, as I decided where I was going to live.
I didn't want to go back to New York anymore, because it was too full of painful memories, as well as old baggage. It was time for a fresh start.
From that day forward, my new life began........
I was outside, sitting in the sand, staring off into the distance, as I listened to the sound of the waves. At least until I was interrupted.
"Do you mind if I join you?"
I looked up to see Jake Roberts, my next door neighbor, standing beside me, with a smile on his face.
Jake was a cute guy. He was 24 years old, stood about 5'10, and weighed around 145 lbs. He had strawberry blond hair and piercing blue eyes. He also had a swimmer's build.
"Sure, buddy, sit down." I told him. "I could use the company."
Jake sat down beside me and slid off his sandals. He then pushed his toes into the soft sand, which was what I was doing as well.
"Michelle and I are going to go to a club tonight. Would you like to join us?" He asked me.
I wasn't sure It was a good idea, but I thought that perhaps I should go out and have some fun anyway. I hadn't really gone out much since I'd moved here.
"Sure, what the hell?" I agreed. "I haven't really had a chance to scope out the night life out there much since I moved down here."
"Who knows, maybe you'll get lucky and find yourself a new man." Jake said, nudging me gently. "You deserve to be happy, just like I am right now."
When he mentioned that, I shook my head.
"No, Jake." I said, quietly. "I am not interested in finding a new man. I don't want anyone else in my life, except you and Michelle. You two have been great to me since I've moved here. So, the least I can do is try to have a good time with you two tonight."
Jake gave me a concerned look when he heard how I wanted nothing to do with any guys.
"Sean, you have to move on with your life sooner or later." He said, quietly. "If you don't, you're just going to be miserable for the rest of your life. Is that really what you want?"
I sighed.
"I'm sorry, Jake, I'm just not ready for another relationship. I went through so much pain in my last one, that I came very close to having a breakdown." I said to him.
It had been true. The way Nick and his friends had treated me had continued to torment me for a long time. It had taken me a little over a year to recover. And it had not been easy. But I was a survivor and I had managed to move on with my life.
"Do you stil love your ex-boyfriend?" Jake asked me, out of the blue.
I looked at him in surprise. I wasn't expecting that question to come out of his mouth. But I gave him an answer to it though.
"Not anymore." I told Jake. "He and I are ancient history. I haven't seen or talked to him in two years now. That's the way I want it."
"Well if you say you don't love him anymore, then why are you still wearing his ring?" Jake asked, looking down at my right hand.
I looked down at my wedding band, which was still on my finger after all this time. There had been times when I'd tried to take it off, but I couldn't. Despite my pain, that ring still meant something to me. When Nick and I were together, I only took off the ring when I took a shower, other than that, It had never left my finger...........Except for the time when I was kidnapped.
"I can't take it off." I said to him. "It's become a part of me. It's a part of who I am."
Jake looked at my ring, a little closer.
"Hey, that's not a ring, that's a wedding band." Jake said in awe, then asked: "Does that mean you and your ex are still married after all of this time?"
"No." I told him. "We did get married, but later I found out that the minister who married us was a fraud."
"Wow." Jake said. "That had to be really devastating."
"That's an understatement, Jake." I said. "It was far more painful than you'll ever know."
"Does this ex-boyfriend of yours have a name?" Jake asked.
I thought about it for a moment and wondered if I really should tell him who Nick was, but then decided against it. As much as I trusted Jake, I didn't think it was my place to out Nick without his knowing about it.
"His name was Nick." I said, slowly. "That's all I'm going to give you, buddy."
"I guess I'll just have to be satisfied with that." Jake said. "I just wish I knew more so I could help you through this."
I then stood up and started brushing myself off.
"Would you mind if we didn't talk about this anymore?" I asked him, hoping he'd drop the subject.
"Alright." Jake said, standing up with me as well. "I'm sorry if I upset you, man."
"Don't worry about it." I said to him, watching him put his sandals back on. "It doesn't hurt anymore."
"How can you be so sure?" Jake asked me. "You did say you haven't seen, or talked to, Nick in two years?"
"That's right." I said, hoping he wasn't going where I think he was.
"Don't you think you should call him and talk to him?" Jake asked me
I whipped my head up, shocked at his question. "Why would I want to do that?"
Jake then gave me a concerned look.
"I apologize if I'm out of line, saying this to you, but I'm going to say it anway." Jake told me.
I nodded. Jake continued.
"I think deep down inside, you still love Nick, despite whatever it was that went down between you two. The fact that you haven't taken off his ring he gave you proves that. And if that's the case, you need to start dealing with it."
"Deal with it? how?" I asked him.
Jake hesitated before saying it:
"You need to go to him." Jake told me. "Even if you two don't get back together, you need to at least find how how he feels and how you feel. And ultimately, where things stand between you two."
I can't." I told him. "Things are more complicated now."
"How so?" Jake wanted to know.
"Well, for one thing, there's an innocent child involved now. Before Nick broke up with me, I'd found out that his ex-girlfriend was pregnant. Now that It's been two years, Nick has a one and a half year old child now."
"I take it you don't even know if his child is a boy or a girl?" Jake asked.
I just gave him an exasperated look, which he read correctly.
"I'm sorry." He said, regretting that he asked. "I'll drop this. All I was basically trying to say, is to keep an open mind where he's concerned. "Will you at least think about it?"
I gave him a small smile, as we walked back up to the beach apartment.
"Ok, I'll think about it, but I'm not promising anything." I told him.
"That works for me." Jake said. "I just want to see you happy again. You just don't seem to be happy these days."
He walked with me to the door of my apartment and I turned back to him.
"I'm alright, Jake." I tried to convince him. "I'm getting used to being on my own now. I don't need a man in my life to make me happy. I have you and Michelle in my life and you both are all I need."
Jake nodded, then held out his hand for me to shake, which I did.
"Call me later if your plans change, ok?" He asked me.
"You got it." I said to him.
"Goodnight." He said, before turning and walking away.
"Goodnight, Jake." I said, as I watched him go.
I opened the door and walked into my house.
It was alot nicer than the apartment I'd had in New York. It was alot more spacious. Plus, I didn't have to deal with any winter weather all that much since it was pretty much warm most of the year. The days it did get cold, it mostly just rained.
I walked into my bedroom and sat down on the bed. I lied down and turned on the tv. As I started, flipping through channels, something on the previous channel caught my eye. I flipped it back on, noticing that it was Carson Daly's show. and I was shocked to see who he was interviewing.
I saw Nick and Jessica walking out onto the stage. That must mean that I just missed Carson's introduction of them.
I watched as Jessica walked up to Carson and hugged him. Then Nick shook hands with him.
The audience was going crazy.
Nick looked sexier than ever. This was the first time I'd seen him on tv in a long time.
He had let his hair grow out some and his bangs were hanging down over his face a little bit. That was definitely a new look for him. The only time I'd ever seen him like that was when his hair was wet, either after a shower or when we had been swimming. I had to admit, I liked it. I liked it alot.
Jessica, I had to admit, looked radiant. She was positively beaming, which I'm sure had to do with her child.
"Nick, Jessica, it's great to have you on our show today." Carson said.
"We're thrilled to be here, Carson." Nick said, as he sat down next to Jessica.
The both of them were sitting directly across from Carson.
"So, how is married life treating the two of you?" Carson suddenly asked.
"Oh, it's great." Nick said, grinning like the cat who swallowed the canary. "Jessica and I are so much in love and I can't imagine my life without her. Or our precious little girl."
My heart sank when I heard that Nick was married now, and what he'd said about him not being able to imagine his life without Jessica. But then again, what did I expect? That Nick was going to wait for two years for me to come back? I don't think so.
But I was also happy for him that he was a father to a beautiful baby girl.
"So, how is little Nicole?" Carson asked, smiling warmly.
"She is the light of my life, Carson." Nick said, smiling. "She is doing great. She's one and a half already. I love her more than words can ever describe.
Watching Nick and Jessica together, I noticed that the spark was back in Nick's eyes again. He was really happy. Marriage and parenthood definitely agreed with him. I knew right then and there where things stood between Nick and me.
He didn't want me anymore.
I couldn't watch the show anymore and turned off the tv. I got up and walked over to the phone.
I dialed Jake's number and waited for him to pick up.
"Hello?" Jake's voice greeted.
"Hey, Jake, it's Sean." I said to him. "I'm calling to let you know that I'm still going with you tonight."
"Cool." Jake said. "We'll both swing by there in awhile to pick you up."
"Alright, man." I told him. "See you then."
"Bye." Jake said, before hanging up.
I hung up the phone and sat back on the bed. I buried my face in my hands and started to cry. I guess seeing Nick after all of this time had a bigger effect on me then I thought it would.
I must have cried myself to sleep because the next thing I knew, someone was knocking on the door.
I got up and walked to the door and opened it, revealing Jake and Michelle, standing there, waiting for me.
"Hey, Sean, you ready?" Michelle asked me.
"Yeah, Michelle, I am." I told her. "Where are we going tonight?"
Michelle was a very beautiful girl. She had strawberry blond hair, like Jake, and blue eyes. Not to mention a body that turned the heads of heterosexual and bisexual guys. She was definitely hard not to notice. Especially since she was also a part time model, as well as a college student.
"Actually, we're going to go to a club called "Mixed Crowd" Jake said. "It's for gay, bi, or straight people. Not to mention, that they have karaoke going on tonight."
"Cool." I said, liking the sound of the place. "Who knows, maybe I'll sing something tonight."
"For real?" Jake said, surprised. "I didn't know that you could sing."
"Well, I don't always, buddy." I told him. "There are times it makes me feel better when I do it. But I haven't sang much lately."
"Well, tonight, that is going to change." Michelle said. "Come on, let's go. The club is on Charleston Street."
I locked the door to the house and followed them to their car. Jake started the engine and we drove to the club.
******************************************************* ALSO IN ORLANDO......................
"Come on, Nick, Let's get going." Drew said. "I want to get to that club so we can reserve seats for all of us."
"Alright, already, Bro, I'm almost done." Nick said, as he was combing his bangs down over his face.
"Where is this club at, Drew?" Jeff asked him.
"It's on Charleston Street." Drew said. "It's called "Ralph's Nightclub."
"I'm done." Nick said, setting down his comb and taking a look at himself in the mirror. He smiled back at his reflection, liking the way that he looked.
"Ok, then, let's go." Danny said, walking with Jeff towards the door.
"We're right behind you guys." Kandi said.
Everyone left the hotel room and Drew closed the door behind him.
******************************************************* AT RALPH'S NIGHTCLUB.............................
"Alright, we're here." Jake said as he pulled in a parking space and shut off the car.
We all got out and started walking towards the club.
I was starting to feel a little better now since we were out and about. The night was young, and the fun was just beginning.
We pulled out our driver's licenses to show to the guard at the door. He let us in and we entered the place to alot of loud music. not to mention scenery.
"Wow." I said in amazement. "This place is really great."
"Didn't I tell you it would be?" Jake said, with a smile.
I took a moment to check him out. He looked really cute in his black shirt, which clung to him in all the right places. Not to mention his baggy leather jeans that he was wearing.
"Hey man, you really look good in those clothes." I told him. "They look just right for a guy who wants to party."
"Thank you." Jake said, grinning. "Just don't get your mind in the gutter or Michelle here will kill you."
"You're damn straight I would." Michelle said. I of course knew that she was just kidding.
Jake had talked to her about me earlier and she was alright with me. She knew I would never try anything with Jake.
"Well, don't worry, Michelle." I told her, with a smile. "There's only one guy that I've really ever loved and I can't be with him anymore."
Now, I had Michelle curious as to who I was talking about. Jake didn't tell her anything about Nick, so she didn't know about him.
"Who are you talking about?" She wanted to know.
She, Jake, and I grabbed a table and sat down as I continued to talk.
"His name was Nick." I replied.
"Nick who?" She asked. I shook my head.
"Sorry girl, that's all you're getting. No last names." I told her, seriously, "Let's just say that Nick was the love of my life and it hasn't been easy getting over him. But I think now I finally have."
"Do you still love him?" Michelle asked, putting me on the spot."
Just at that moment, the waitress came over to take our order before I could answer her.
"Do you three wish to order now?" She asked us, her notepad and pen in her hand.
"Yes, we are." Jake said. "I'll have a beer."
The waitress wrote that down and then turned to Michelle to take her order.
"And you?" She asked Michelle.
"I'll have a Long Island Iced Tea." Michelle decided.
"And you?" The waitress asked me.
"I'll have a glass of strawberry Arbor Mist wine, please." I said.
The waitress wrote it down and then asked us all if we'd like anything to eat. We all declined. She then left to get our drinks.
As soon as she left, Michelle turned back to me.
"Ok, Sean, what were you about to say before the waitress interrupted us?"
She was not about to drop the subject until she had an answer. I sighed, heavily. Jake saw that I was starting to get upset and he acted fast.
"So, Sean, are you going to sing tonight?" Jake asked me.
I could have kissed him right then and there for his fast thinking. I then decided to take him up on his suggestion before Michelle could get any more out of me
"As a matter of fact, I will." I said to him. "Right now."
With that said, I got up and started heading up towards the stage. I talked to the DJ and told him I wanted to sing something. He said he'd be happy to allow me to sing and went about helping me get set up and ready to go. He told me to wait backstage until he announced my appearance. He asked me my name and I gave it to him. I then walked backstage.
I waited a few minutes before the DJ looked my way and then picked up the microphone.
"Ladies and Gentleman." He began. "It is a pleasure to have you all here this evening and I hope that you all have a great time tonight. We are now going to kick off our karaoke night with our first performer who will be singing the song: "The Eyes Of Love."
the DJ then prepared to announce my name.
"Ladies and Gentleman, please welcome, Mr. Sean Perry!"
The audience cheered and applauded as I walked on stage. I walked up to the DJ and took the mic from him.
"Thank you, everyone." I said, when the clapping had died down. "This will be a slow dance, so grab that special someone and make it right."
"I then sat back and started singing, as everyone else swayed to the music.
"Please, don't let this feel an end." "It's everything I am." "Everything I want to be."
"I can see what's mine now." "Finding out what's true." "Since I found you." "Looking through the eyes of love."
"Now, I can take the time." "I can see my life." "As it comes up shining now."
"Reaching out to touch you." "I can feel so much." "Since I found you." "Looking through the eyes of love."
"And now, I do believe." "That even in this storm we'll find some light." "And know when you're beside me, I'm all right."
"Please, don't let this feel an end." "It's everything I am." "Everything I want to be."
I sang the song with so much emotion, that I could feel the tears running down my face. Singing that song reminded me of everything that I used to have. The love that Nick and I had shared. I hated the way it ended, but I did not regret one minute of what Nick and I had.
Nick taught me what love really meant and showed me how lucky I was to have experienced it. I would never forget it.
I continued to finish the final verses of the song.
"I can see what's mine now. "Finding out what's true." "Since I found you.
"Looking through.....the eyes of......love."
As I finished, everyone cheered me on. I noticed that alot of people had tears in their eyes as well. The song had really touched them.
"Well Everyone, normally I wouldn't ask this, but would you all like for me to perform one more song before I let whoever wants to sing next take over?" I asked the audience.
"YEAH!" They all shouted at once.
"All righty then." I said. "Here I go with the next one."
I cleared my throat and began to sing:
"Lost and all alone." "I always thought that I could make it on my own." "But since you left, I hardly make it through the day." "My tears get in the way." "And I need you back to stay."
"I wander through the night." "And Search the world to find the words to make it right."
"All I want is just the way it used to be." "With you here close to me." "And I've got to make you see."
"That I'm lost without your love." "Life without you isn't worth the trouble." "I'm as helpless as a ship without a wheel." "Touch without feel." "I can't believe it's real."
"So someday soon, I'll wait." "And find my heart won't have....to break."
"That I'm lost without your love." "Life without you isn't worth the trouble." "I'm as helpless as a ship without a wheel." "Touch without feel." "I can't believe it's real."
"So someday soon I'll wait." "And find my heart won't have....to break."
Once again, I received applause, but this time it seemed a bit more intense. It was almost like they all could feel the lonliness within me."
"Thank you, everyone." I said, as I handed back the mic to the DJ. He then told me he loved my song. I thanked him then asked him if they had a private room or something backstage that I could have some privacy for a few minutes.
The DJ, whose name was Kelly said that there was a dressing room backstage and he said that I could take all the time that I needed.
I thanked him before walking backstage and entering the dressing room. I sat down on the couch and sighed heavily. I felt good. It felt wonderful to get all of that off of my chest. All the lonliness and sadness that I was feeling. And what better way then by singing.
I stood up and walked over to the dresser and bent over it, closing my eyes for a second. I was so engrossed in my thoughts, that I didn't hear anyone come into the room from behind me.
"You were incredible." I heard a familiar voice say.
"Startled, I whipped around to see who it was and froze. I found myself staring back into his beautiful blue eyes.
"Hello, Sean." Nick said.
TBC............?
That's all for this installment. What will happen next?
How will Sean react to seeing his former flame? Will he be happy to see him? How does Nick feel? Is his marriage to Jessica everything he says it is?
Stay tuned to find out.
slpwriter